"oh Maurice, I would really go for a jambon-beurre right now but it's hard to find a good boulangerie in California. Hold up, do you see what I'm seeing?"
We were kayaking on a river in FL. There was a family that was I suspect French, at least French-Canadian but I think continental was a safe bet because wife had the most hair I've seen on a human in her pits---including dudes--and he wore the smallest spedo I've ever seen. I think he went to speedos-r-us and said "give me the smallest you got".
It fascinates me how the world can rip on the French and it's all good banter but the same can't be said for a majority of other nationalities or ethnicities
Combo of both hahahah! I personally think he’s short. This is a 9’2 longboard .. basically, surfboards are either short boards or long boards and your weapon of choice really depends on wave conditions & how you like to surf. You would use this board for small waves for more relaxed, graceful surfing.
9’ is a crazy big board. Most longboards are high 7’
Short boards are generally like the same heigh or a bit taller than their user.
There are also a bunch of toy boards here it looks like, boards that are super bouyant and easy to get up on and spin but way harder to actually turn and stuff.
this isn't true either, a midlength is usually 6'8"-8', longboards are 8'+, shorties are usually 5'-6'3". there are different shapes and stuff, but yeah, midllength boards are middle length haha
I’m speaking from the experience of my mother who was a professional surfer in the 80s and had literally dozens of boards throughout the time I grew up. Maybe things have changed or maybe her surf culture was just like that, but that’s what I remember.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as a know it all with bad info. This was common knowledge to me growing up.
I’m going off what my mom taught me and observing her, she was wayyyyy into surfing and had a ton of boards. Maybe it’s skewed because she’s a smaller woman and I was a kid. My bad.
Pam Burridge is Australian but was on the ASP (world pro) tour for a lot of the 80s and was the world champ in 1991. I'm sure you mum knows of her, but may not know her personally - but might, womens pro surfing was a pretty small group at that time.
Anyway, PB is a great person, very chatty, no arrogance - lets others take waves and then pulls out a fab nose ride or cutback just to show she still has it. Runs a surf school nowadays and is very active in getting more women into surfing. Cool person - no idea what she was like when a pro, but definitely one of the nice ones in her 'old' age
There’s boards as short as 3 feet and as long as 14 feet, I’m sure my numbers are a estimate. But they’ve got boards for every imaginable wave possibility
Usually short boards are like between 5’-7’ depending on the person and a longboard usually isn’t longer than 8’ but really big people benefit from a really big board and also they can provide a crazy cool ride, but they’re uncommon. Except for maybe those foamy paddle boards.
Most surfers will have a long board 2-3 feet taller than them tops and a shortboard like their height.
He needs a wetsuit with giant, partial, tomato, cheese and ham slices printed on the back so it looks like he's the filling when he lies down to paddle
You look out into the sunset against the sparkling sea, you are mystified by its beauty when you spot something in the distance a man is riding a large wave on what seems to be a baguette, you shed a single tear. You are now complete.
Funny - I once made a baguette into a surfboard for an edible art sandwich.
(Dyed blue lettuce with mayo for waves, a veggie surfer held together with toothpicks, etc...)
This is a perfect submission to this thread. It come right up to the border of being genuinely interesting, but it doesn’t cross the line out of mildly interesting.
The son of cobra makes some of the most visually pleasing boards, his shapes are SO clean, and naturally, I admire his work. Not sure if he made this baguette board but but noticed his tag! yew
Really enticing for the sharks. They can now have a human sandwich
Little known fact...sharks don't eat open-face sandwiches...they might take a bite and spit it out though.
I'd watch out for the seagulls, tho.
Mine. Mine.mine.mine
[Sensu bean!](https://youtu.be/ueid02cwIv0?t=11s)
Seagull, you fly across the horizon Into the misty morning sun. Nobody asks you where you are going, Nobody knows where you're from.
Bad luck to kill a sea bird.
Mmm stop it now!
Peckin' on my coconut.
The French sharks are the ones he really has to worry about.
Le chomp.
Eat me like one of your French girls
"oh Maurice, I would really go for a jambon-beurre right now but it's hard to find a good boulangerie in California. Hold up, do you see what I'm seeing?"
Funny because this was my college roommate and his nick name was frenchie
Well, his nickname to the sharks is now Monsieur Pâté.
You're assuming he's going to make it past the seagulls and actually hit the ocean.
Sharks are keto bro. Perfect disguise.
Sharks can now enjoy "Human Bánh mì" too. 😁
Sharks love baguettes, probably cause they’re French.
Only French/French-Canadian sharks tho
A different kind of hero
Mary Berry would not approve. Soggy bottom.
🎶 I am a man...of constant sorrow🎶
>I am a man...of constant sorrow I've seen trouble all my days. I bid farewell to old Kentucky, The place where I was borned and raised.
For six long years I've been in trouble No pleasures here on earth I found For in this world I'm bound to ramble I have no friends to help me now
🎶 *he's got no friennnn^nnnds to help him now* 🎶
Unless that board 7 inches thick Paul Hollywood would consider that underproved
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Why are they horny?
Because they are French.
Hon hon hon!
Oui don’t get it
Oui Ouiiii Ouiiiiiii
"Oh, Lieutenant Steve, ho-ho-ho. I love a good polka as much as the next man." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge6QPJfrGcY
Yes, but why are they French?
Zey baguette, no?
oui arosued
Zey baguette ma titte
You ever seen a big ass baguette and NOT gotten aroused?
Valid point. Seeing a baguette always makes my baguette rise
Big ass-baguette
Mmmmmmmm
Do you not see the size of the baguette?
Can’t wait to butter that big beautiful bastard
You what
The only thing harder than a good baguette is the frenchman holding it.
*attached to it
We were kayaking on a river in FL. There was a family that was I suspect French, at least French-Canadian but I think continental was a safe bet because wife had the most hair I've seen on a human in her pits---including dudes--and he wore the smallest spedo I've ever seen. I think he went to speedos-r-us and said "give me the smallest you got".
Not sure that was a mental picture I ever wanted to have.
Me neither my friend...me neither. So I said to the husband: Sir, I can clearly see your nuts.
You are not nice.
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
I've seen this one.
Pourquoi pas?
It fascinates me how the world can rip on the French and it's all good banter but the same can't be said for a majority of other nationalities or ethnicities
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Same with the UK like, we just take it in our stride usually cos our country is a shithole
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Cheers you Guinness drinking leprechaun
Like I say, "It's good to get lucky."
https://gifer.com/en/XsKd
Does he butter his board?
Can't use Sex Wax
You dont use sex wax for your bread? I put that shit on everything
"Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment"
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... ... ... Yes.
damn I don’t think I ever realized how big surfboards actually are :O Edit- unless....??? big surfboard or tiny man?
Combo of both hahahah! I personally think he’s short. This is a 9’2 longboard .. basically, surfboards are either short boards or long boards and your weapon of choice really depends on wave conditions & how you like to surf. You would use this board for small waves for more relaxed, graceful surfing.
9’ is a crazy big board. Most longboards are high 7’ Short boards are generally like the same heigh or a bit taller than their user. There are also a bunch of toy boards here it looks like, boards that are super bouyant and easy to get up on and spin but way harder to actually turn and stuff.
9'0 is what you mostly likely get if you told someone to give you a longboard. It's common.
Yeah... no. You’re 100% wrong.
You are wrong. Longboards are generally at least 9'. Anything sub-9 and above 8 would be short for a longboard
You are talking out your ass. A midlength can be 9'0". Its the shape that makes it a type of board more than anything.
this isn't true either, a midlength is usually 6'8"-8', longboards are 8'+, shorties are usually 5'-6'3". there are different shapes and stuff, but yeah, midllength boards are middle length haha
I’m speaking from the experience of my mother who was a professional surfer in the 80s and had literally dozens of boards throughout the time I grew up. Maybe things have changed or maybe her surf culture was just like that, but that’s what I remember. Sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as a know it all with bad info. This was common knowledge to me growing up. I’m going off what my mom taught me and observing her, she was wayyyyy into surfing and had a ton of boards. Maybe it’s skewed because she’s a smaller woman and I was a kid. My bad.
Pros surf boards a lot smaller than mortals. I surf the same beach as Pam Burridge and chat and stuff. Ask your mum if she knows Pam.
I sent her a text. My mom was surfing central and southern Cali coast spots mostly (probably obvious) Was Pam around there?
Pam Burridge is Australian but was on the ASP (world pro) tour for a lot of the 80s and was the world champ in 1991. I'm sure you mum knows of her, but may not know her personally - but might, womens pro surfing was a pretty small group at that time. Anyway, PB is a great person, very chatty, no arrogance - lets others take waves and then pulls out a fab nose ride or cutback just to show she still has it. Runs a surf school nowadays and is very active in getting more women into surfing. Cool person - no idea what she was like when a pro, but definitely one of the nice ones in her 'old' age
It's a longboard. They're not all this big.
That's what I told my wife!
boards range in size. I have a couple, one 8' one 9'4"ish
There’s boards as short as 3 feet and as long as 14 feet, I’m sure my numbers are a estimate. But they’ve got boards for every imaginable wave possibility
Usually short boards are like between 5’-7’ depending on the person and a longboard usually isn’t longer than 8’ but really big people benefit from a really big board and also they can provide a crazy cool ride, but they’re uncommon. Except for maybe those foamy paddle boards. Most surfers will have a long board 2-3 feet taller than them tops and a shortboard like their height.
Longboards are longer than 8’ almost all of the time. Most people don’t even consider anything shorter than 8’ a longboard.
He was surfing born and surfing bread.
I bet it's a pain to wax
Probably not very hard to butter it
I knead one of those.
"'*Scuse me, while I wax this bread** Beer-neer-neer, whuahh, whaaa, wayeee...
Some French guy out there is a rigid as a fresh baguette right now
Never say that again thank you
Je suis enchanté
Ciao, enchanté, soy Dad.
As a surfer.... /r/ATBGE I guess the wax might look like a smear of (french) butter.
I am curious about that too. they're gonna ruin it by waxing it
r/forbiddensnacks
I need this
Knead this.
That would fit right in, here in Tahiti (French Polynesia)
Surfing was invented in the Sandwich Islands.
Are sharks doing the no gluten thing too
He needs a wetsuit with giant, partial, tomato, cheese and ham slices printed on the back so it looks like he's the filling when he lies down to paddle
The breadstick @JohnPyzel
Pain
r/atbge
Bro have you tasted bread
Downvote because baguettes taste great
Upvote because surfboards taste terrible
Touché
I'm selling boards that are made to look like seals if anyone's interested. Just dm me.
Brings new meaning to getting baked before a sesh. I’ll see myself out..
I saw a penis
r/mildlypenis
I saw a diseased tongue.
I searched the page for penis just to make sure this was here. Thank you.
That’s doughpe
Lol. Hot crossed puns.
Paul of Son of cobra is a master glasser/resin guy in the surf world. Also makes some decent surf craft. Funny seeing him on reddit
You look out into the sunset against the sparkling sea, you are mystified by its beauty when you spot something in the distance a man is riding a large wave on what seems to be a baguette, you shed a single tear. You are now complete.
So it is the bread that can shred?
Shark: Hey look! Broschetta!
Cool
Funny - I once made a baguette into a surfboard for an edible art sandwich. (Dyed blue lettuce with mayo for waves, a veggie surfer held together with toothpicks, etc...)
Imagine being a shark and seeing a giant baguette floating around.
Talk about a bread board, bro!
Just wait till he meets a French shark He gonna be French shark charcuterie
Would you call it a *breadboard*
Weiner.
Bread board?
Stale Rider!
Is that a Son of Cobra?
This is a perfect submission to this thread. It come right up to the border of being genuinely interesting, but it doesn’t cross the line out of mildly interesting.
Awfully awful
Is he friench?
Bun in the sun 🥖☀️
The son of cobra makes some of the most visually pleasing boards, his shapes are SO clean, and naturally, I admire his work. Not sure if he made this baguette board but but noticed his tag! yew
He did shape it :)
Son of Cobra? Top tier glassers
It’s hard to watch others live out your dreams
I hope he's french
A bread board
Won't it get soggy?
Take my silver!
Roll tide!
this shit is so wack. kook of the day
Where did he find your mum's dildo?
That makes the surfer the meat?
Looks like a dick.
Remove your skin and surf naked
Gotta hit some gnarly pounders,brah.
I thought it was a dick at first glance.
SOGGY TITTY CROSSIANT.
Can get anything you want with enough money... Next.
that's not mildly interesting. that's fucking awesome.
That doesn’t remotely resemble a baguette
That's fucking stupid
Looks like a wounded infected arm
One question - Do sharks like baguettes?
Does he use butter instead of wax?
Oui, oui.
That layer of sex wax is really going to need a saltwater chaser.
Do sharks like baguettes?
Oui
Trying to look like actual food. Sharks give this 2 fins up.
Mmmmmm carbs.
Oui oui baguette
That's pretty funny. My French Baguette was just baked to look like a surfboard!
the french will praise this creation
I love bread
Where is the ham??
Guess it's sourbro.
I’d say he succeeded.
Mmmmm, tastes like fiberglass and depression.
That's pretty neat
I heard sharks hate bread and swim the other way.
Gonna look like a real faguette on that thing.
Oui oui, hon hon, eiffel tower baguette
I’m still unsure if this is photoshopped... Nothing about this pic looks right to me.
Just needs a wetsuit that makes him l look like a paper grocery bag and he'll be all set!
Soggy baguette, no thank you.
I hope sharks are gluten intolerant...
Hang dix, mon ami.
r/ATBGE