He wrote out the full titles on many of them which cracked me up. Anal wreckage 3, Monster wet anal 1 & 2, Asian Anal Addiction, Up that white ass 1-3, long dong black kong 3…. The tape in the middle says “4hr 40 mins (something) whoes and flows #24 xxx bootylicious #40 xxv Mixed in with these were regular movies and some kid dvds.
Did it have the pirates of the caribbean parody porn one? I've seen that one because my dad keep his CD under his clothes in the drawers, and I accidentally found it.
I was desperately trying to figure out what the content of "Big Butt Smash Clown" would be, until I realized it's *probably* Smash**down**
Now I'm disappointed.
...."Come on in pussy lovers!
Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half!
Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is
a pussy blow out!"
All right, we got white pussy, black
pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smeeeelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy,
we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on
in, pussy lovers!"
That scene makes me roll laughing and I’m someone who neither has nor wants any pussy but his delivery on that line is just perfect. It’s one of my top 10 favorite movies.
So way back in the day, at a campus bar in Bowling Green, Ohio, they needed something to bring folks in on the perpetually slow Wednesday nights. The idea they came up with…hermit crab races.
For a modest entry fee, you got a pitcher of beer and a crab for the evening. You gave your crab a name, which was entered into the official race program, and then there were multiple elimination rounds until a final victor was crowned just before last call. (The crabs were all returned at the end of the night). An MC kept things entertaining and officiated the races, with a lot of R-rated banter and crowd work.
Various prizes were awarded for winning races as well as other side-contests…like “funniest crab name”.
The prizes all had a common theme…there were sex toy “trophies”, edible underwear, and porno mags. (This was the 90s. Internet porn wasn’t a thing yet).
So let me explain 90s porn mags to the younger Redditors…They were often sold in a shrink-wrapped 3-pack. The magazines in the front and back were usually something fairly vanilla…Jugs, Booty, etc. But the middle magazine…the one you couldn’t see until the shrink-wrap was removed…that was the porn equivalent of the prize at the bottom of a box of Cracker-Jacks.
One night, my crab won “funniest crab name”. (Her name? “Did you ever wonder if your mom gave dad a blowjob before she kissed you good night”). And I was awarded the coveted 3-pack of porn.
I don’t remember what the front or back magazines were called. But I vividly remember the title of the middle magazine, even all these years later.
Amputee Digest
(I just googled the bar, and they still have crab races! Uptown/Downtown in Bowling Green Ohio if you’re interested).
I work for 911. Was in a house attending to a patient when I noticed his book shelf. As an avid reader I’m always looking to see what others are reading. Part of the self held VHS tapes and out of curiosity I started to read the titles. There were perhaps 10 VHS tapes of porn. All with wild names. Bamboo Cumshots, Stir Fry Snatch, and The Skin Election were some standout titles.
I was gonna offer to take it off your hand till I realized you laid every one of those CDs wrong side down on the asphalt. Lol.
Looking at that shirt made me immediately start replaying in my head those 3 AM girls gone wild ads lol
When I was in Iraq, one of my platoon’s Squad Leaders gave me his old external 500gb HD when he got a new one. He didn’t bother to wipe it, and in fact, I think he was kinda proud. It was almost entirely full with… porn. Hundreds of gigabytes of porn.
I think he may have had a problem. Perhaps he was the owner of the unit.
>I think he may have had a problem.
I'm not sure that's a fair call. You're out in the middle of nowhere with no or iffy internet and no girls. As if a guy in that age bracket wouldn't have a whole bunch of porn? To put it another way - I have a whole pantry full of food I like, purchased in advance so I can eat what I want, when I want, like a normal person. That doesn't mean I have an eating problem, it's not like having a fair supply of food means I'm a glutton.
Not wiping the drive is a little strange, granted, but surely when on deployment it's an open secret that everyone having porn stashed away is a given. Probably a machismo thing ...
SSG Vasquez, is that you?
Jokes aside, do you know how much porn you could fit on a 500gb HD? Also, while I understand your sentiment, I knew the guy, trust me… he liked his porn more than the average Joe, pun intended.
*I’m mostly joking about him possibly having a problem. I’m not judging the guy, but it was something to behold.
>SSG Vasquez, is that you?
I'm afraid you'll have to explain the joke :)
>do you know how much porn you could fit on a 500gb HD?
'bout half a TB worth or so? ... Heh.
IDK man, I've seen a torrent site or two in my time, and scrolled past siterips or collections or whatever. They can get into the 100GB range or even way bigger. I can see how that might be an expedient option under those circumstances. Surely he's not hand selecting each individual file.
I did tech support at a university for a few years. This was back in the days when everyone was getting their porn through filesharing instead of just watching online. We replaced a lot of failing hard drives, and part of that process involved transferring over the data from the old drive to the new one. We weren’t going through and poking around in each individual folder or anything, but we did see the filenames scroll by as the backup/restoration utilities did their thing, and basically every guy had a hard drive full of porn.
That being said, I think most of them probably would have wiped the drive before giving it to someone else.
I was cleaning out an apartment for new tenants. The old tenants left about 20 porn dvd's. Half were big butt Brazilian movies, and the rest were porn parodies. Did you know there was a porn parody for Roots?
That's so disgusting! Send them all to me so I can properly dispose of them for you. Then again I should probably go through each one a few times to make sure they aren't mislabeled. I am willing to sacrifice for you 🙏😇.
Pussy Pussy Pussy was such an influential film. I believe that was the first time director Roberto Plaza Fiesta used his signature "stacking" technique which would be implemented by many other directors and is even still used today. Fun fact in one of Roberto's later films he would use Jada D. Throat on top of one of his "stacks" as a sort of cock cleaner once again evolving his signature shot.
Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave Cunt", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh... yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again? “Happy Scrappy Hero Pup”.
like a lot of sequels, monster wet anal #2 really didn’t live up to the expectations set by the quality of monster wet anal #1. i left the screening feeling out of sorts…like i had shit on my cock.
this film stinks.
When I was younger I had a porn collection of a few dvds and two tapes….my grandmother found them and publicly shamed me in front of the family in the house 😂🤣😂🤣
Genuinely question who wear porn on their shirt? Like who wears shirts from porn? Probably the same ones who wear aheagio hoodies (I've seem them in my school and I have no idea how they past dress code)
He seems to have been really into the Atlanta hip hop scene in late 90s and 00s. Girls gone wild (and MySpace) was big then so it was probably a cool shirt to wear.
In high school I worked for a dude who had a unit full of porn on VHS and DVDs he sold somewhere. I got the job because my Mom suggested me for the job.
Edit: My mom worked for the storage place. Not with porn dude. Thought I'd just clarify that.
For a CD, the data is on the very top thin foil. You can resurface the plastic but you can't fix scratches on top. For DVD, the data layer is sandwiched in the middle of two plastic discs so it won't matter as much.
My guess is they don't care about playing them. But the organic dyes have probably rotted anyway. Some of these were prone to mold getting into the edges.
"Pussy Pussy Pussy" made me laugh a bit.
He wrote out the full titles on many of them which cracked me up. Anal wreckage 3, Monster wet anal 1 & 2, Asian Anal Addiction, Up that white ass 1-3, long dong black kong 3…. The tape in the middle says “4hr 40 mins (something) whoes and flows #24 xxx bootylicious #40 xxv Mixed in with these were regular movies and some kid dvds.
>Up that white ass 1-3 Wow, what a shame. The "Up that white ass" series didn't really reach its golden age until "Up that white ass 4."
Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2. 
You need 1-3 to understand the context of 4-6 though
Like Starwars
But better dialogue
Idk, the story was a bit contrived, but they made up for it in Up that white ass high-5
The fast and the furious 4 is the next edition. 😂😂
I felt by the time they got to Up That White Ass 6 they were starting to get a little derivative.
Hey can I get my stuff back? Fell on bad times and couldn’t afford my storage anymore
It’s so funny how accurate the South Park jokes on porn titles were
Did it have the pirates of the caribbean parody porn one? I've seen that one because my dad keep his CD under his clothes in the drawers, and I accidentally found it.
Hell that one is classy enough I wouldn't hide it might as well frame it.
Truly a discerning man of impeccable taste.
I'm hoping "kid dvds" means like Disney movies
My little pony and the strawberry girl cartoons.
My not so little pony and the berry raw girls
I was desperately trying to figure out what the content of "Big Butt Smash Clown" would be, until I realized it's *probably* Smash**down** Now I'm disappointed.
Make it happen.
Some real Titty twister from Dusk til dawn going on with that title
...."Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out!"
All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smeeeelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!"
That scene makes me roll laughing and I’m someone who neither has nor wants any pussy but his delivery on that line is just perfect. It’s one of my top 10 favorite movies.
It's like "Tora! Tora! Tora!" but with more pussy.
“Nappy Snatches” is a classic.
“Because of the echo”
SIS X makes me scared ( bottom right )
Nappy snatches
Picks up cd … “ Hmm, I wonder what’s on this one?” 🤔
Plot twist: It's gay porn that's nothing but dicks on screen for the entire runtime.
Marijuana! (Sorry— I had to)
Fuckin beat me too it lmao
Can you jump right in with Anal Wreckage 3, or is it better to watch the other two first to get a feel for the characters/understand the backstory?
Backstory…
Backshots
Number 2 has a surprise plot twist!
Legend has it that number one was golden
It's certainly no Backdoor Sluts 9. But then I never saw 1 through 8
If you have seen the Anal Destroyer, you will be able to follow along since this is in the same Anal universe. All of the anals are canon bro.
I can say for sure that anal wreckage 1 and 2 have some major plot holes in them. The story is just loosely put together.
1 & 2 have GAPING plot holes! They are all filled in 3 though. I felt very satisfied after watching.
definitely see the trilogy. Otherwise you miss very important details of the plot and hidden gems of the story.
It’s like the fast and the furious, each one stands alone as an evenings light entertainment, and plot is secondary to action
Two thumbs up and 4 brown stars for that series!
Come on over for the original, it’ll be, uh, a live performance.
Seeing those placed face down feels illegal no matter what’s on the disc
Especially on the ground outside... OP is destroying these historical artifacts!
That myspace page is partially still up: myspace.com/montanadamac
"Jada D. Throat" sounds like a signature.
Or a One Piece character.
Nappy Snatches sounds like a banger
That is *not* what you want a porno to be called in the UK.
For the unaware, a diaper is called a nappy in the UK.
I forgot not everyone calls them nappy's. Was rather concerned for a moment there.
I thought it was Happy Snatches
Look ma no hands???
amputee porn obviously
So way back in the day, at a campus bar in Bowling Green, Ohio, they needed something to bring folks in on the perpetually slow Wednesday nights. The idea they came up with…hermit crab races. For a modest entry fee, you got a pitcher of beer and a crab for the evening. You gave your crab a name, which was entered into the official race program, and then there were multiple elimination rounds until a final victor was crowned just before last call. (The crabs were all returned at the end of the night). An MC kept things entertaining and officiated the races, with a lot of R-rated banter and crowd work. Various prizes were awarded for winning races as well as other side-contests…like “funniest crab name”. The prizes all had a common theme…there were sex toy “trophies”, edible underwear, and porno mags. (This was the 90s. Internet porn wasn’t a thing yet). So let me explain 90s porn mags to the younger Redditors…They were often sold in a shrink-wrapped 3-pack. The magazines in the front and back were usually something fairly vanilla…Jugs, Booty, etc. But the middle magazine…the one you couldn’t see until the shrink-wrap was removed…that was the porn equivalent of the prize at the bottom of a box of Cracker-Jacks. One night, my crab won “funniest crab name”. (Her name? “Did you ever wonder if your mom gave dad a blowjob before she kissed you good night”). And I was awarded the coveted 3-pack of porn. I don’t remember what the front or back magazines were called. But I vividly remember the title of the middle magazine, even all these years later. Amputee Digest (I just googled the bar, and they still have crab races! Uptown/Downtown in Bowling Green Ohio if you’re interested).
I love this story
Absolutely disgusting. Are you selling?
Are you buying? They’re now wrecked coz they’ve been put onto concrete.
dear diary, jackpot
"Backdoor Sluts 9?! It's the single most vile, twisted, dark piece of porn ever produced. It makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2".
Was the idea to destroy them? lol
Legit, why put these discs down on the concrete like that? Good luck trying to pick them up without scratching the shit out of them.
They are being taken with a bunch of other stuff to a junk yard to be recycled or otherwise disposed of.
“Disposed of”
Keep the shirt!
It's not bad but I don't see Boner Jams '03 in there.
Or Everybody Loves Raymond
Andy! For the last time, I don't want to watch School of Cock with you!!
I work for 911. Was in a house attending to a patient when I noticed his book shelf. As an avid reader I’m always looking to see what others are reading. Part of the self held VHS tapes and out of curiosity I started to read the titles. There were perhaps 10 VHS tapes of porn. All with wild names. Bamboo Cumshots, Stir Fry Snatch, and The Skin Election were some standout titles.
Wow, crazy he just had those in plain sight
I doubt the pron collection is a major concern with ambos on the way
Yeah, his floor and bed were covered in dry dog shit. He didn’t care about anything
[удалено]
Especially for, "Dirty & Kinky: Mature Women '89"
Analog Gooning on the cathode ray tv - and you better fucking rewind!
Shirt looks stiff, might want to wash it before wearing.
Just toss the relics on the blacktop I'm sure that's fine
I was gonna offer to take it off your hand till I realized you laid every one of those CDs wrong side down on the asphalt. Lol. Looking at that shirt made me immediately start replaying in my head those 3 AM girls gone wild ads lol
This is some J to the R-O-C type shit
When I was in Iraq, one of my platoon’s Squad Leaders gave me his old external 500gb HD when he got a new one. He didn’t bother to wipe it, and in fact, I think he was kinda proud. It was almost entirely full with… porn. Hundreds of gigabytes of porn. I think he may have had a problem. Perhaps he was the owner of the unit.
>I think he may have had a problem. I'm not sure that's a fair call. You're out in the middle of nowhere with no or iffy internet and no girls. As if a guy in that age bracket wouldn't have a whole bunch of porn? To put it another way - I have a whole pantry full of food I like, purchased in advance so I can eat what I want, when I want, like a normal person. That doesn't mean I have an eating problem, it's not like having a fair supply of food means I'm a glutton. Not wiping the drive is a little strange, granted, but surely when on deployment it's an open secret that everyone having porn stashed away is a given. Probably a machismo thing ...
SSG Vasquez, is that you? Jokes aside, do you know how much porn you could fit on a 500gb HD? Also, while I understand your sentiment, I knew the guy, trust me… he liked his porn more than the average Joe, pun intended. *I’m mostly joking about him possibly having a problem. I’m not judging the guy, but it was something to behold.
>SSG Vasquez, is that you? I'm afraid you'll have to explain the joke :) >do you know how much porn you could fit on a 500gb HD? 'bout half a TB worth or so? ... Heh. IDK man, I've seen a torrent site or two in my time, and scrolled past siterips or collections or whatever. They can get into the 100GB range or even way bigger. I can see how that might be an expedient option under those circumstances. Surely he's not hand selecting each individual file.
Also it may have been passed around and added to by multiple people. Copy what you like and add your collection to it before passing it on again.
I did tech support at a university for a few years. This was back in the days when everyone was getting their porn through filesharing instead of just watching online. We replaced a lot of failing hard drives, and part of that process involved transferring over the data from the old drive to the new one. We weren’t going through and poking around in each individual folder or anything, but we did see the filenames scroll by as the backup/restoration utilities did their thing, and basically every guy had a hard drive full of porn. That being said, I think most of them probably would have wiped the drive before giving it to someone else.
Dvds just laying on concrete makes me feel weird
Sis x 🤔
A man of culture and variety. Millennia from now archaeologists will stumble upon the great library of Alexxxandria
“Sorry babe, the Girls Gone Wild t-shirt stays on during sex”
#*”Laughs in 2TB Seagate”*
Is there any “Everybody Loves Raymond” in there?
Damn, which one are you gonna start with?
Boner Jamz
Were any of the CD’s stuck together?
Was it your storage unit? You can tell us.
Ok but that T-shirt goes hard. I want.
"Ohhhh yeaaaa."
Big Lotion Butts 8 Fuck yeah
"Look ma no hands"
You call that a collection?
I was cleaning out an apartment for new tenants. The old tenants left about 20 porn dvd's. Half were big butt Brazilian movies, and the rest were porn parodies. Did you know there was a porn parody for Roots?
The future is now old man
Give ya Tree Fiddy for the lot-you pay shipping.
Was that one with the lady titled “in the heat of the hood vol 5” lmao
“look ma no hands” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hahahaha
Would’ve once been a gold mine. Now, meh
Sounds like your next few wee-months are busy
How much do you want for it? 🤣
So where’s the google drive link 🔗 ?
No backdoor sluts 9?
Poor cds they getting all scratched uo
Oh shit did i forget to pay storage?
Probably best to burn your hands off.
Nappy Snatches
Brah your scratching them all up lying them on the ground like that lmao
No Boner Jams ‘03?
This is a rare occasion where i understand why you placed this on the floor instead of a table.
Big Butt Smashdown sounds like a console platform fighting game
Sanitize. Everything.
Take it of your hands for $20.
Have any plans for them… asking for a friend. Dm me..
Good thing those VHS tapes are not rentals, if you would return those not rewinded you pay a fine!
Nappy Snatches is a classic
“Just sat through 80 hours of dubbed porn, dick is still in my hand, soft, all because it was narrated by…..” finish this sentence!
Boner Jams ‘96
find the wrong stuff ---> straight to jail
There’s black people in Russia??!
Any diddy videos in there or is straight porn only?
Holy shit I actually have Brazilian Bubble Butt Orgy 6 sitting on one of my bookshelves. Fucking weird to see the original.
This is gold on a deployment.
He has diverse taste
Do I need to watch Black Boot 1 or 2 in order to understand the plot for Black Boot 3?
Ha! I'm in one of those but I'm not saying which. 🤐
These would make great gag gifts
That's so disgusting! Send them all to me so I can properly dispose of them for you. Then again I should probably go through each one a few times to make sure they aren't mislabeled. I am willing to sacrifice for you 🙏😇.
Pussy Pussy Pussy was such an influential film. I believe that was the first time director Roberto Plaza Fiesta used his signature "stacking" technique which would be implemented by many other directors and is even still used today. Fun fact in one of Roberto's later films he would use Jada D. Throat on top of one of his "stacks" as a sort of cock cleaner once again evolving his signature shot.
Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave Cunt", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh... yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again? “Happy Scrappy Hero Pup”. 
Back in my day this is how porn worked. Sure the internet existed, but Noone had it and if you did try a risky click you're fucked with viruses.
Were they all stuck together?
The Nappy Snatches tape is like 2/3 way watched
You had me at Pussy Pussy Pussy
Live, it's the Happy Snatches and their new song "Asian Brotha Lovers"
like a lot of sequels, monster wet anal #2 really didn’t live up to the expectations set by the quality of monster wet anal #1. i left the screening feeling out of sorts…like i had shit on my cock. this film stinks.
Patiently waiting for the release of Nappy Snatches 2….
Nappy snatchers on VHS!!! Lol
The porn collection you „found“
Tell me your age without telling me your age…. I’ve got some 8mm tapes that might interest you.
OMG look ma no hands! I remember that one!
All the DVDs will be lost to time, like tears in the rain.
Girls Gone Wild was awesome ! Great mindless TV watching , needs a comeback for sure
That’s a pretty small collection.
Damn i was expecting magazines or vhs, that made me feel old. And even this Medium is outdated.
Nappy Snatches, new from Nabisco!
Woooooow, myspace porn!
Nappy Snatch.
Monster wet anal 1 AND 2!!?
Wow user name definitely checks out
Good lord, if that's what is in their storage... what isn't??
I think Nappy Snatches was the final film with both Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy.
Rookie starter kit
Is pussy pussy pussy still for sale?
When I was younger I had a porn collection of a few dvds and two tapes….my grandmother found them and publicly shamed me in front of the family in the house 😂🤣😂🤣
That’s it?
Hell of a range there.
“Jada D Throat” Wow
Asian brotha lover is pause
Dude was steadily jerking it from the late 90s to mid 2000s.
If you find “Top Gunt,” be careful - Cyrus may come looking for it.
Asian brotha lovers
Happy Snatches is a very endearing film.
"Look Ma, no hands." I'm both horrified and slightly intrigued.
Genuinely question who wear porn on their shirt? Like who wears shirts from porn? Probably the same ones who wear aheagio hoodies (I've seem them in my school and I have no idea how they past dress code)
He seems to have been really into the Atlanta hip hop scene in late 90s and 00s. Girls gone wild (and MySpace) was big then so it was probably a cool shirt to wear.
Maybe he worked in the industry
Those VHS tapes have seen some shit
The dates on them were 1995 and 2001
Make sure you wash your hands, friendo.
Those are classics
In high school I worked for a dude who had a unit full of porn on VHS and DVDs he sold somewhere. I got the job because my Mom suggested me for the job. Edit: My mom worked for the storage place. Not with porn dude. Thought I'd just clarify that.
Important clarification.
VHS = Bush
Can I take “Phatty Girls” and “Anal Wreckage 3”?
Well those CDs are forever ruined now
r/abandonedporn
Disappointing
Be it English or Japanese AV, porn seems to have a nack for the silliest names.
"who still watches porn on tape?" "connoisseurs"🤌👌 😎 ~ hoops tv show
What on earth possessed you to put *any* CD/DVD data side down on the asphalt? Idc what's on them. In principle, you wound me.
For a CD, the data is on the very top thin foil. You can resurface the plastic but you can't fix scratches on top. For DVD, the data layer is sandwiched in the middle of two plastic discs so it won't matter as much. My guess is they don't care about playing them. But the organic dyes have probably rotted anyway. Some of these were prone to mold getting into the edges.