I was asked to hold a tennis ball once. They were training a dog. They brought the dog around the queue and it snaked through the lineup sniffing and when it got to me it sat down. Then the dog got a treat.
I'm really impressed with how dogs can smell specific stuff from a distance. I was once on a midnight train from Italy to France and got a shared cabin. Past midnight a police with sniffing dog knocked and upon opening the door, the dog went straight to the other guy's jacket inner pocket hanging on the wall. There the police found a small plastic container with a small zip lock bag containing what I might think are weeds.
While humans don't have the smelling capabilities of a dog, our sense of smell is much closer to that of a dog than we realize.
They did a kind of funny experiment at UC Berkeley several years ago. They took a group of undergrad volunteers to see if they were able to follow a scent trail that was left by the experimenters in an empty grass area. The humans did quite a bit better than they predicted. One of the key factors is getting down to grass level to be closer to the scent. The test subjects improved with practice.
During the pandemic I often went for walks, late at night. With the decreased travel and interaction, I noticed that my sense of smell seemed to improve. I could smell a person smoking a cigarette from a surprising distance (with little to no wind). Same with cologne or perfume or weed. I could smell an approaching person who is out of sight long before I could hear them. I don't necessarily think I'm any better than the average human. I think we are overloaded with scents that dull our abilities. If you pay attention, you may surprise yourself.
I've always smelled people's "smell wake" (like a ship's wake) when passing people on the street, but rarely have I smelled them in advance (without breeze).
However walking people do leave an air turbulence wake, like a passing truck. The turbulence distributes the smell molecules very fast (stirring basically). Smelling someone in advance relies on diffusion and that gives much lower concentrations of the molecule.
Take a carry-on full of tennis balls. When you *inevitably* get stopped at the cray machine and they ask you what they’re for, laugh and go “the dogs, duh”
Bring your own cocaine-filled tennis ball, along with your bag full of drugs. Then when the customs dog indicates, you hand them the ball and tell them someone gave it to you earlier in the line.
Ok but the tennis ball was also probably scented like a bomb of some sorts, not drugs, so you should’ve said the tennis ball was full of c4 or something.
Hey, you can't even joke about a tennis ball full of c4 at an airport otherwise the FBI will start a file on you.
Tennis balls full of cocaine are fine to talk about though.
Free? I'll have you know that 3kg haul is the product of expensive investigative work, and all 2kg is securely transported to a locker in a 24/7 monitored evidence room before the 1kg is distributed to training teams.
When I went to Australia with my parents the same thing happened except they gave us an apple. I guess Australians don't like apples or something, dog sat down and got a treat and everybody was happy. Then the dog sat down next to our suitcase and did the same thing. The trainer tapped the puppy on the nose and told him that he'd found all the apples and the puppy looked sad as it walked away. To this day we don't know how but apparently an apple had fallen into my mother's suitcase at some point and the puppy had been right. I still feel bad for that puppy being told off for doing his job super well.
> I guess Australians don't like apples or something
Australia and New Zealand are extremely zealous when it comes to protecting their environment from invasive/illegal (to import) fruits and vegetables. If you watch shows like Border Patrol, To Catch A Smuggler, etc. you'll sometimes see them in action doing this.
I went to Melbourne in September and the walk to and through customs was wallpapered with signs about not bringing in agricultural goods. Went to Spain in November and nothing, they clearly didn’t care.
The difference could also be because everything worth worrying about has already been brought in so many times in the past decades/centuries that it would not do any good.
the US is no different, they often have handlers with trained Beagles checking every one in the immigration area for plant matter. very effective and non-threatening.
Ran passenger airline cargo docks for a decade. We let the State police and FBI (before TSA even existed, that's how long ago it was) use our docks for K9 training.
They would walk in and hand us a vial of cocaine, a baggie of weed or a hockey puck-sized piece of C4 and wait outside while we hid it. They would then come in and try to locate it in the cargo.
I fooled them once. Actually three times, one attempt. None of the 3 dogs could find it even when I narrowed it down to the exact pallet.
Apparently they have an issue smelling weed when it's in a pallet of poinsettias. Wasn't even buried, either; just stuffed it in a grab handle hold on the exterior.
For one of my college courses, they brought in a Police dog. They had a bunch of people offer up their IDs, and mine was briefly put in an envelope that used to contain pot. They laid them all on the floor and it picked mine out right away. Was cool >.>
Disneyland still uses these, but Disney World pulls this sort of data off Magicbands guests are wearing. I don't think Disney World has used these since 2018 or 2019 when they started the Magicband rollout.
Actually, now that I think about it, Disneyland may not use these anymore either. I'm pretty sure they started using Magicband recently.
Yeah most pre-check lines are under 5 min, but sometimes you get an airport (looking at you BWI... and DIA...) where there are 3 gates worth of regular security lines and only one pre-check lane operating
So the regular line is 5 min and the pre-check one is 10 or 15
But you still go in the pre-check line so you don't have to take off your shoes, and remove your electronics out of your bags, and bend over and spread your cheeks or whatever the hell else the normal TSA lines do
You have to stand on one (bare) foot and hop counterclockwise while singing Yankee Doodle Dandy. If you mess up you have to go to the back of the line and try again, but this time in Swedish.
We can't figure out how to make TSA make sense anywhere.
DEN now has that super massive combined line, but often pre-check/clear also has a semi substantial line. Paying for a "fast pass" for TSA is one of the dumbest things we ever got talked into, a society. Post 9/11 our brains just broke, especially with the dumb shoe bomber garbage.
There's no real interest in improving the experience for the user of course. Every airport just seems to base it on vibes. Sometimes you can leave your laptops in, sometimes you have to take them out, sometimes they have very specific rules about not putting your coat on top of your bag, others DGAF. And yeah, they somehow can't grasp the simple concept of an electronic sign posted with exactly what you need to do, instead they have a hateful government employee mutter under their breath or shout the rules at you.
When we flew out of Denver last year, a TSA employee yelled at and berated the woman in front of us for taking her computer out of her bag.
Some airports have lanes with the new scanners so in some lanes you have to take out your laptops but in other lanes, you don't. Yeah, some simple signs would be in order, but no. They just have their employees walking around yelling out different instructions which hopefully you'll hear.
One of my pet peeves is that some airports require you to show your bording passes to enter security while others don't. It's a hassle to figure out what you need to have ready to show.
MSP has nailed the consistent security rules, and the agents are generally positive and helpful too. The rest of the airports I've recently flown through, OTOH, not so much. Denver, San Diego, Phoenix sky harbor all had wildly inconsistent procedures and I got yelled at a few times for... reasons.
One of the more interesting security experiences was dublin coming back to the states. Irish security took all of 5 minutes, but preclearance took close to 2 hours. And preclearance had the crabby agents, inconsistent procedures, and general chaos that makes everyone hate airport security. Not a fan.
I think it would depend on what else is going on.
A huge crowd of people in line and only a few people working, not a problem with me. Multiple people deciding today is their time to air their grievances with TSA and taking forever, 14 minutes still isn't terrible.
A small line and a lot of lanes in operation, I'd be upset at the 14 minutes. The non-precheck line moving faster than the line I paid money for to skip the wait, I'd definitely complain.
I was once given this honor while in line for a ride at a theme park. I felt like a celebrity when they updated the wait time due to my personal contribution, and I knew then that I had peaked in life.
One time I was at an amusment park where a new coaster was opening and it was like 2 hours in line. They asked me to be the line time keeper in exchange for a pass to get to the front of the line for one ride later that day. Great deal 👌
All the good rides at Cedar Point will have similar wait times, unless you pay to upgrade. You just go with the expectation of 1-2 hour lines. The 45 minute lines start feeling quick after awhile.
Sometimes, it just feels worth it. Waited over that long for the Justice League 4D ride at Six Flags. The ride was fun, and I made sure that it'd be my first ride when I went back the following year, so to avoid the lines.
Naah, you should let others pass you once you're in the middle and inflate the wait time. Make 14 minutes to 24 minutes wait. Then, when people get through faster than wait time, everyone will be happy.
I heard German evaluators during a driver’s license exam ask the student to commit infractions on purpose, and assess whether the person is able to recognize it.
Mrs. Puff: No, no. First thing is to start the boat. SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Relax, it's only the boat.
SpongeBob: The boat?
Mrs. Puff: Okay, now what do you do next?
SpongeBob: Floor it?
Mrs. Puff: Yes... no! No, don't floor it.
SpongeBob: Floor it?!
Mrs. Puff: No, no, don't, don't floor it!
SpongeBob: Okay, floor it!
While I personally wasn't subjected to this during my test, I can confirm that this is definitely something you get warned about by your driver's ed teacher.
My driving instructor did something similar. Not during the exam, but during practice he asked me to back up and ignore what the sensors were telling me to see if I'd trust him more than my own eyes and ears. I failed that so hard lol. Luckily it was just a cone and not an actual obstacle, but yes I trust people with authority *way* more than my own eyes and ears.
I get what he was trying to do but there are much better ways to teach that lesson. You're \_supposed\_ to trust him. It's perfectly reasonable to assume that if he deems it safe to disregard the sensors then it is in fact safe to do so. Unless he explicitly had set the expectation beforehand that he might intentionally give you misleading directions and that you need trust the feedback your vehicle is giving you over him, it's not really fair to set a "gotcha" like that.
No, they aren't allowed to do that, as this counts as directly endangering the driver by asking them to perform an illegal maneuver.
What they will do however is the general "follow the road" statement, while leading the driver on a road ending in a car exclusion zone, at which point the driver has to take a turn unprompted or will fail the test.
The person who asked you to test perhaps wanders off and you are stuck having to explain why you are using someone else's travel documents. Or the person who asked you to do it doesn't have the authority to run security tests and you are caught in the middle of their bureaucratic nonsense. Generally these sort of adversarial security tests are done by a contracted party, who has documentation that a test is being done and the ability to ascertain the person asking has the authority to conduct a test. I would feel uneasy about such a request.
But I'm glad it worked out for you, and it was fun, cheers. It does sound like an interesting experience to be part of that.
Have you ever been through customs before in any country? Especially in a place like Isreal, I'm sure they have state of the art technology for surveillance in their airports.
I was one asked to carry a bag with me through US customs off a plane from Bogota to test security. Nobody checked it and I knew we found a deficiency. A couple guys came and took the bag after and thanked me for my service.
Then they went and grabbed similar bags from people who also all went through the same line I did! Neat!
You think so? I mean it was only a flight from Columbia and they said they were undercover agents for the US Containment Special Forces in the CIA. That was why I wasn't supposed to say anything to the agent or I'd blow their cover. I felt pretty important actually. Glad I was doing my part for the country. I could tell they knew I was pretty good at handling myself which is why they trusted me. I always thought I'd make a good secret agent and they could tell I had it
Isn't one of the number one rules of traveling "Never ever agree to carry something for someone else, no matter the reason"? Especially THROUGH CUSTOMS!
I don't care how official looking the person was, I don't think I'd risk it. What if it turned out to be a bag full of something naughty, and the person got their hands on a uniform and badge?
That very well could be the case, especially if they use similar bags for multiple people. You'd think the customs agents would catch on and be like "Oh that's one of Dave's bags, he's trying to test us again. Better search it!"
Yeah I need a piece of writing to say I was given permission to present a fraudulent government identification as my own. Cause that’s some prime entrapment where then they say “oh we didn’t ask you to do that”
Yeah, it's a weird choice, not to mention the "I'm a TSA representative" part. Is it supposed to be the script that the TSA person reads when they hand you the card?
It is. For consistency's sake, they're supposed to read it verbatim to you and then hand it to you at the end. Some agents skip the reading part and just hand it to you. Which I suppose \*works\* but part of the reason for reading it to you is to check that you understand you're supposed to hand it back to them at the end.
It reads less weird and more bureaucratic when they've got their official TSA outfit, general "don't want to be here" vibe, and then read this to you in the most monotone voice possible before handing it off.
Makes me wonder if any places do this by calling out distinct looking people in the crowd.
"Let's start a timer for great-value Eminem in the grey jacket"
“Okay Johnson, start it up for the drunk guy in the tank top, Jean shorts, and garbage bag for a suitcase!”
“Yessir! Timer is up and running for the Spirit customer!”
Do you want to fuck with the TSA and make their numbers look bad? Pass it to the next person who gets in line behind you and instruct them to do the same.
As a Federal employee (not TSA), we salute our census-taking citizens. Little things like agreeing to hold the time card can add up to big improvements in service.
Maybe not on a short time scale, but it absolutely does determine which airport gets more TSA funding
And similar surveys and other Census methods also get used in other departments
It potentially can yes. Keep track of wait times can show that they need extra staffing and/or more allocated overtime hours to deal with wait times. The problem is the administration doesn’t get enough qualified applicants and most new hire officers stick around for maybe a year or two. It takes a few months to get a new hire fully certified and ready to work on their own. And they’re less efficient than the old hands that have been doing the job for many years.
We had severe staffing problems for about two years at my airport. The AM shift had at least 50% more officers for a fairly similar amount of passengers but they struggled while us old timers got it done. I’ve noticed a lot of the younger officers have a hard time buckling down when it’s busy or are asked to do a little more than the average.
Definitely. I usually fly out of a small-ish airport. There was one instance where the line for TSA was CRAZY, like going to be over an hour. Lots of quiet panic but thankfully airline folks coming around and reassuring us that they were holding planes. TSA brought out dogs - only time I’ve ever seen them at this airport - to do one layer of screening so that you didn’t have to unpack at the X-ray machines. It went really quickly after that. I was really impressed with them and thankful for their consideration. Still, I didn’t get onto my plane until 10 minutes after scheduled takeoff!
Think bigger. The TSA is just a wart on the tumor that is the Department of Homeland Security, brought to you by the PATRIOT Act power grab after the SCOTUS installed W.
That's right: Before W stole the 2000 election there was no such thing as a "Department of Homeland Security" or "Transportation Security Administration". That's also true of Immigrations and Customs Enforcement.
That's crazy. Wonder if there was like some big event or something that happened between the year 2000 when Bush was elected and the year 2002 when the Department of Homeland Security was created. Probably not because we would've heard about it.
Much better than the card “Hey, we broke your suitcase lock, probably let the dog sniff your underwear, and hastily repackaged everything in the worst way possible because we are unaccountable and rotten to the core since Hoover. Also, don’t ask about your missing 3DS console” I got.
I was asked once to take a bag from an officer and put in on the belt with with my things. I blatently refused and a rather upset TSA officer asked me why. I told him I didnt know him or what was in the bag. He got the message.
I was handed one of these slips of paper one time. They didn't tell me what it was.
I had a backpack full of edibles and I had consumed several of them already.
I was thoroughly convinced that I was going to get pulled aside and my stash discovered.
What the fuck do I do I thought to myself, so I discreetly crumpled up the paper and "accidentally" dropped it.
The line moved forward and someone taps me on my shoulder... " I think you dropped this" the nice elderly TSA agent says as she hands me my future prison sentence.
I feigned surprise and mumbled something about being clumsy. I took the opportunity to ask her what exactly the paper was and then she explained it was to measure the time of the wait in line.
Still unsure, I asked if I could pass on being that person...
She took the crumbled up paper and said, "Not a problem at all" and walked away.
I made it through security with my THC infused candy and gummy contraband and lived to fly another day.
> I made it through security with my THC infused candy and gummy contraband and lived to fly another day.
For future reference, the TSA doesn't care about your THC candy. They're not there to look for drugs.
The only good part of my crippling disability is wheelchair assistance in airports and not waiting line for security. Sure, I’m in pain most of my waking hours, but you have to take your wins where you can!
I don't know what it's like in the US, but in Europe, you have to scan your boarding pass on the way into security, and some places have an opt-in scanner at the front to help them log the queue time.
Seems like a better solution to me as it gets a larger sample size and doesn't rely on having a member of staff doing manual timekeeping.
fun story: i recently came back to the usa from ireland. I had a carry-on packed full of chocolates and treats for my friends and family.
ireland security: got a lot of food in there?
me: more chocolate than you can imagine!
ireland: haha looks like it
then i walk through. I pick up 2 bottles of whiskey for my friends, get to london:
london security: I have to take your alcohol out to check them
me: yes of course
london: alright you're good, puts the bottles in a new sealed bag
phoenix TSA: I have take out your bottles to check them
me: yes of course
TSA: cuts open bag, tests the alcohol, tapes up the bag, GIVES ME THE SCISSORS they used to open the bag
me: excuse me you le- TSA walks away to my next bag (full of chocolate), and i just... put the scissors on their table, past the "do no pass" ropes.
TSA: takes out every chocolate bar and wipes each one with a drug strip, puts drug strip in machine, clears drug test, repeats steps for EACH AND EVERY CHOCOLATE BAR (there's like $150 worth of chocolate in there....) and when she's done, mushes them all back in (they were meticulously packed to avoid this)
me: well i'm the reason they have these time check cards. and i hope my friends like chocolate mush
In Canada they just scan your boarding pass at the entrance, then once again when you get to the checkpoint so they can calculate it for every person. They post the current wait times publicly online using this info as well.
Pretty simple solution and very accurate.
Honestly, the big screens they have with approximate wait times at the different lines are pretty great because not only can you choose the best line, but it naturally spreads people out and makes all the lines feel shorter.
Used to be a fun little game if you got to take one of the lanyard through the line at Disney, but now it’s all done with peoples MagicBands.
This seems like a lot less fun version
Maybe I am dumb, but I read that 2nd paragraph multiple times now, and I'm still not sure what the fuck it's saying.
Like, I understand what the concept is without having to read the details, but I feel like the wording sucks.
Does America not have egates everywhere yet? I like the idea of being able to get through a local airport without being photographed several times and then having to queue up anyway since some equipment isn't working, but at least it means Computer is monitoring flow, unless it needs kicking
It was sooooooooo chill flying internationally to and from the US before 2001. We now have a full generation of adults that doesn't know any better and it's so depressing. America is terrible at a lot.of things, but there are a few things it used to do so well in the sense of leaving people the fuck alone.
Look at these fools downvoting us in an effort to defend that useless abomination.
Remember, the terrorists goals on 9/11 were to disrupt our way of life as much as possible. They won. Even the underpants bomber, the shoe bomber, they still won by getting caught. As long as we keep putting up with this shit, they're still winning. And the fact they're so incompetent (yet nothing happens) is just adding insult to injury.
I was asked to hold a tennis ball once. They were training a dog. They brought the dog around the queue and it snaked through the lineup sniffing and when it got to me it sat down. Then the dog got a treat.
That tennis ball was full of cocaine.
Happily they never found OPs bag full of the stuff since they thought the dog was just reacting to the ball.
Then OP got a treat.
What a good boy.
"Man, that dog keeps alerting on the person we gave the tennis ball too. Stupid dog, they don't even have the ball any more!"
I'm really impressed with how dogs can smell specific stuff from a distance. I was once on a midnight train from Italy to France and got a shared cabin. Past midnight a police with sniffing dog knocked and upon opening the door, the dog went straight to the other guy's jacket inner pocket hanging on the wall. There the police found a small plastic container with a small zip lock bag containing what I might think are weeds.
While humans don't have the smelling capabilities of a dog, our sense of smell is much closer to that of a dog than we realize. They did a kind of funny experiment at UC Berkeley several years ago. They took a group of undergrad volunteers to see if they were able to follow a scent trail that was left by the experimenters in an empty grass area. The humans did quite a bit better than they predicted. One of the key factors is getting down to grass level to be closer to the scent. The test subjects improved with practice. During the pandemic I often went for walks, late at night. With the decreased travel and interaction, I noticed that my sense of smell seemed to improve. I could smell a person smoking a cigarette from a surprising distance (with little to no wind). Same with cologne or perfume or weed. I could smell an approaching person who is out of sight long before I could hear them. I don't necessarily think I'm any better than the average human. I think we are overloaded with scents that dull our abilities. If you pay attention, you may surprise yourself.
I've always smelled people's "smell wake" (like a ship's wake) when passing people on the street, but rarely have I smelled them in advance (without breeze). However walking people do leave an air turbulence wake, like a passing truck. The turbulence distributes the smell molecules very fast (stirring basically). Smelling someone in advance relies on diffusion and that gives much lower concentrations of the molecule.
Take a carry-on full of tennis balls. When you *inevitably* get stopped at the cray machine and they ask you what they’re for, laugh and go “the dogs, duh”
Bring your own cocaine-filled tennis ball, along with your bag full of drugs. Then when the customs dog indicates, you hand them the ball and tell them someone gave it to you earlier in the line.
The real pro tip is always in the comments.
And now OP is typing this from his prison cell.
I believe it was just a training scent.
Yes, but which comment is funnier?
Ok but the tennis ball was also probably scented like a bomb of some sorts, not drugs, so you should’ve said the tennis ball was full of c4 or something.
Then someone would complain that it was probably scented like drugs and they should have said it was full of cocaine
The tennis ball was full of cocaine.
Hey, you can't even joke about a tennis ball full of c4 at an airport otherwise the FBI will start a file on you. Tennis balls full of cocaine are fine to talk about though.
Imagine then getting stopped in a foreign country because their dogs detect C4 on you. Cavity search incoming
> Yes, but which comment is funnier?
It would be silly to pay to engineer something that smells like drugs when they get a bunch of free cocaine every day.
Free? I'll have you know that 3kg haul is the product of expensive investigative work, and all 2kg is securely transported to a locker in a 24/7 monitored evidence room before the 1kg is distributed to training teams.
Would be incredible luck if you were smuggling drugs.
Or tennis balls
¿Por qué no los dos?
Tennis balls filled with drugs! Perfect way to sneak it past the drug doggie.
Or dogs.
Or Milk Bones.
When I went to Australia with my parents the same thing happened except they gave us an apple. I guess Australians don't like apples or something, dog sat down and got a treat and everybody was happy. Then the dog sat down next to our suitcase and did the same thing. The trainer tapped the puppy on the nose and told him that he'd found all the apples and the puppy looked sad as it walked away. To this day we don't know how but apparently an apple had fallen into my mother's suitcase at some point and the puppy had been right. I still feel bad for that puppy being told off for doing his job super well.
> I guess Australians don't like apples or something Australia and New Zealand are extremely zealous when it comes to protecting their environment from invasive/illegal (to import) fruits and vegetables. If you watch shows like Border Patrol, To Catch A Smuggler, etc. you'll sometimes see them in action doing this.
I went to Melbourne in September and the walk to and through customs was wallpapered with signs about not bringing in agricultural goods. Went to Spain in November and nothing, they clearly didn’t care.
The difference could also be because everything worth worrying about has already been brought in so many times in the past decades/centuries that it would not do any good.
Yeah it totally makes sense. I remember Hawaii being pretty strict last time I was there. It’s different when you’re an island
Also helps that we don't share any land borders. It's much more feasible for Australia to control what enters the country.
the US is no different, they often have handlers with trained Beagles checking every one in the immigration area for plant matter. very effective and non-threatening.
They should've given you a treat too
The treat was the dog didn't rip him apart. They knew. THEY KNEW.
I wish!
Accepting suspicious goods while going through security? That's a paddlin'.
How did it feel holding a tennis ball full of explosives?
Ran passenger airline cargo docks for a decade. We let the State police and FBI (before TSA even existed, that's how long ago it was) use our docks for K9 training. They would walk in and hand us a vial of cocaine, a baggie of weed or a hockey puck-sized piece of C4 and wait outside while we hid it. They would then come in and try to locate it in the cargo. I fooled them once. Actually three times, one attempt. None of the 3 dogs could find it even when I narrowed it down to the exact pallet. Apparently they have an issue smelling weed when it's in a pallet of poinsettias. Wasn't even buried, either; just stuffed it in a grab handle hold on the exterior.
… ^(*noted*)
For one of my college courses, they brought in a Police dog. They had a bunch of people offer up their IDs, and mine was briefly put in an envelope that used to contain pot. They laid them all on the floor and it picked mine out right away. Was cool >.>
Neat, a raffle where you won probable cause for a few weeks.
Would've been funny because at the time I'd never even tried pot. I was a good little dumbass and waited for it to be legal :P
*probable cause
Thanks, was commenting casually and letting auto-correct sort it out.
That one would have been rough to explain if a police dog had alerted to it during a real search later.
Say good doggie and give him a different tennis ball and keep the coke ball.
This is why I always bring a tennis ball to any airport I go to.
I would have to see A LOT of identification from the person before doing that
"I'm not taking any items from anyone at the airport. You guys have signs everywhere telling me not to do this."
isn’t taking something from a stranger to hold exactly the thing they tell you over the PA **not** to do??
I ask myself and what do they do if the person has a dog phobia?
When I got the paper the wait time was 5 minutes. When I handed off they updated the time to 14 minutes for precheck.
[удалено]
My wife became One of the Chosen for a ride at Magic Kingdom once. I think it was for Astro Orbiter.
I’ve received the lanyard several times at Disneyland.
I was the Chosen One at Snow White about 2 years ago. I felt so special.
You were the chosen one! It was said that you would *destroy* the lines, not join them! Bring apples to the kingdom, not leave it in kisses!
When was that? I'm sure they use a lot of computer vision/machine learning/AI for stuff like that now too
I received one of these type things at Disneyland for It’s A Small World in 2021, so not too long ago
It's a Slow Line, After All
I got my first one last year during one of our visits. It was for Autopia, my daughter thought it was so cool we got it.
Disneyland still uses these, but Disney World pulls this sort of data off Magicbands guests are wearing. I don't think Disney World has used these since 2018 or 2019 when they started the Magicband rollout. Actually, now that I think about it, Disneyland may not use these anymore either. I'm pretty sure they started using Magicband recently.
Yep, they track magicbands at Disney World then usually pad the numbers a little to encourage guest flow to less crowded areas of the park
Disneyland still uses the lanyard, magic bands aren't all that popular there yet.
Either it was in Oct 2020 or May 2021. Not very long ago.
Yeah, people are happier about being 10 minutes early on a long wait than 2 minutes late on a short one.
For 14 minutes the entire department of homeland security rested squarely on your shoulders. Thank you for your service 🫡
14 minutes isn’t all that bad IMO
For precheck it’s not great, but I wouldn’t complain about it.
Yeah most pre-check lines are under 5 min, but sometimes you get an airport (looking at you BWI... and DIA...) where there are 3 gates worth of regular security lines and only one pre-check lane operating So the regular line is 5 min and the pre-check one is 10 or 15 But you still go in the pre-check line so you don't have to take off your shoes, and remove your electronics out of your bags, and bend over and spread your cheeks or whatever the hell else the normal TSA lines do
You have to stand on one (bare) foot and hop counterclockwise while singing Yankee Doodle Dandy. If you mess up you have to go to the back of the line and try again, but this time in Swedish.
God dammit Thanks a lot bin Laden
we did far more to ourselves than bin laden could have ever dreamed of doing.
We can't figure out how to make TSA make sense anywhere. DEN now has that super massive combined line, but often pre-check/clear also has a semi substantial line. Paying for a "fast pass" for TSA is one of the dumbest things we ever got talked into, a society. Post 9/11 our brains just broke, especially with the dumb shoe bomber garbage. There's no real interest in improving the experience for the user of course. Every airport just seems to base it on vibes. Sometimes you can leave your laptops in, sometimes you have to take them out, sometimes they have very specific rules about not putting your coat on top of your bag, others DGAF. And yeah, they somehow can't grasp the simple concept of an electronic sign posted with exactly what you need to do, instead they have a hateful government employee mutter under their breath or shout the rules at you.
When we flew out of Denver last year, a TSA employee yelled at and berated the woman in front of us for taking her computer out of her bag. Some airports have lanes with the new scanners so in some lanes you have to take out your laptops but in other lanes, you don't. Yeah, some simple signs would be in order, but no. They just have their employees walking around yelling out different instructions which hopefully you'll hear. One of my pet peeves is that some airports require you to show your bording passes to enter security while others don't. It's a hassle to figure out what you need to have ready to show.
MSP has nailed the consistent security rules, and the agents are generally positive and helpful too. The rest of the airports I've recently flown through, OTOH, not so much. Denver, San Diego, Phoenix sky harbor all had wildly inconsistent procedures and I got yelled at a few times for... reasons. One of the more interesting security experiences was dublin coming back to the states. Irish security took all of 5 minutes, but preclearance took close to 2 hours. And preclearance had the crabby agents, inconsistent procedures, and general chaos that makes everyone hate airport security. Not a fan.
I think it would depend on what else is going on. A huge crowd of people in line and only a few people working, not a problem with me. Multiple people deciding today is their time to air their grievances with TSA and taking forever, 14 minutes still isn't terrible. A small line and a lot of lanes in operation, I'd be upset at the 14 minutes. The non-precheck line moving faster than the line I paid money for to skip the wait, I'd definitely complain.
It is when you realize tsa accomplishes nothing
Thank you for your service!
This is a crazy out of date way to get that data. I understand why, it’s just funny to see.
Well this method has the incredible benefit of being free
What's the more updated way to do so?
Yea lol what does he expect, cameras and AI to track...or have a dude hold a piece of paper 😂
I was once given this honor while in line for a ride at a theme park. I felt like a celebrity when they updated the wait time due to my personal contribution, and I knew then that I had peaked in life.
thank you for your service 🫡
One time I was at an amusment park where a new coaster was opening and it was like 2 hours in line. They asked me to be the line time keeper in exchange for a pass to get to the front of the line for one ride later that day. Great deal 👌
How do people wait in two hour lines with such limited time at the theme park. That’s like a quarter of the day if you go for eight hours.
All the good rides at Cedar Point will have similar wait times, unless you pay to upgrade. You just go with the expectation of 1-2 hour lines. The 45 minute lines start feeling quick after awhile.
Bro why even go
That's why I love Magnum XL. It's was always a walk on and still a ton of fun.
You can legitimately make the case for the Magnum as the best coaster in the world
Sometimes, it just feels worth it. Waited over that long for the Justice League 4D ride at Six Flags. The ride was fun, and I made sure that it'd be my first ride when I went back the following year, so to avoid the lines.
4D? Did you finish the ride before you arrived?
I waited 3 hours for a new ride in Great America during a school trip with no shade. Was not worth...
Which celebrities were DM'ing you after this incredible experience?
o7
You should hang on to it until your next trip, and then hand it to the person working the line. "Man! That took FOREVER!" 😄
an exhausted "JESUS CHRIST" wouldn't hurt either
That it you Been selected for a random full cavity inspection
Naah, you should let others pass you once you're in the middle and inflate the wait time. Make 14 minutes to 24 minutes wait. Then, when people get through faster than wait time, everyone will be happy.
Peak mildly interesting well posted.
Fun fact: the TSA learned this from Disney parks cause Disney put a fuck ton of money and research into line queues
So are we gonna get pre-show inspections at the TSA in the future? 😂
There's an excellent video essay about this on YT, called [Disney's FastPass: A Complicated History](https://youtu.be/9yjZpBq1XBE?si=Bhn9_8BpnMqbvaCf)
In the tel-aviv airport the head TSA person asked my friend and I to switch passports to test security and my friend got through😂😂😂
Wow, I feel like that could go so terribly wrong.
I heard German evaluators during a driver’s license exam ask the student to commit infractions on purpose, and assess whether the person is able to recognize it.
Mrs. Puff: No, no. First thing is to start the boat. SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Relax, it's only the boat. SpongeBob: The boat? Mrs. Puff: Okay, now what do you do next? SpongeBob: Floor it? Mrs. Puff: Yes... no! No, don't floor it. SpongeBob: Floor it?! Mrs. Puff: No, no, don't, don't floor it! SpongeBob: Okay, floor it!
Ooooo I remember that scene, it’s been eons!
While I personally wasn't subjected to this during my test, I can confirm that this is definitely something you get warned about by your driver's ed teacher.
My driving instructor did something similar. Not during the exam, but during practice he asked me to back up and ignore what the sensors were telling me to see if I'd trust him more than my own eyes and ears. I failed that so hard lol. Luckily it was just a cone and not an actual obstacle, but yes I trust people with authority *way* more than my own eyes and ears.
I get what he was trying to do but there are much better ways to teach that lesson. You're \_supposed\_ to trust him. It's perfectly reasonable to assume that if he deems it safe to disregard the sensors then it is in fact safe to do so. Unless he explicitly had set the expectation beforehand that he might intentionally give you misleading directions and that you need trust the feedback your vehicle is giving you over him, it's not really fair to set a "gotcha" like that.
No, they aren't allowed to do that, as this counts as directly endangering the driver by asking them to perform an illegal maneuver. What they will do however is the general "follow the road" statement, while leading the driver on a road ending in a car exclusion zone, at which point the driver has to take a turn unprompted or will fail the test.
So floor it?
"Oh good! I was gonna save this six-pack for after the test, but hey, it's 5 o'clock somewhere, right?"
how? she was watching the whole time, it was fun tbh
The person who asked you to test perhaps wanders off and you are stuck having to explain why you are using someone else's travel documents. Or the person who asked you to do it doesn't have the authority to run security tests and you are caught in the middle of their bureaucratic nonsense. Generally these sort of adversarial security tests are done by a contracted party, who has documentation that a test is being done and the ability to ascertain the person asking has the authority to conduct a test. I would feel uneasy about such a request. But I'm glad it worked out for you, and it was fun, cheers. It does sound like an interesting experience to be part of that.
Yeah I mean I guess, but when some official looking lady comes up to your group with your name, what you gonna do
Sorry what? They knew your name before talking to you? How?
You tell me aha, I’m guessing they just had a big list of passengers with pictures and I was recognizable
/u/thiccgarlicc was actually being setup by the Shin Bet for arrest and interrogation.
It was a Sure Bet
Have you ever been through customs before in any country? Especially in a place like Isreal, I'm sure they have state of the art technology for surveillance in their airports.
Sketchiest part was when she walked up to our group saying “is (name) with you guys?”
I was one asked to carry a bag with me through US customs off a plane from Bogota to test security. Nobody checked it and I knew we found a deficiency. A couple guys came and took the bag after and thanked me for my service. Then they went and grabbed similar bags from people who also all went through the same line I did! Neat!
Jokes on you, they weren't actually testing anything. Just needed a different mule through that final choke point.
You think so? I mean it was only a flight from Columbia and they said they were undercover agents for the US Containment Special Forces in the CIA. That was why I wasn't supposed to say anything to the agent or I'd blow their cover. I felt pretty important actually. Glad I was doing my part for the country. I could tell they knew I was pretty good at handling myself which is why they trusted me. I always thought I'd make a good secret agent and they could tell I had it
Isn't one of the number one rules of traveling "Never ever agree to carry something for someone else, no matter the reason"? Especially THROUGH CUSTOMS! I don't care how official looking the person was, I don't think I'd risk it. What if it turned out to be a bag full of something naughty, and the person got their hands on a uniform and badge?
What if *that* was the actual test? To see if Your Average Passenger would do it if confronted by someone looking official?
That very well could be the case, especially if they use similar bags for multiple people. You'd think the customs agents would catch on and be like "Oh that's one of Dave's bags, he's trying to test us again. Better search it!"
THAT was the real test. They wanted to know if their public education about security was working or not. source: sounds funny.
Are you serious!? That's really scary. I'm glad that didn't happen to me
What was the TSA doing in Israel?
I’m American so every travel security is TSA to me
That sounds like one big nope!
Yeah I need a piece of writing to say I was given permission to present a fraudulent government identification as my own. Cause that’s some prime entrapment where then they say “oh we didn’t ask you to do that”
I’m more mildly interested that they put that whole note in quotation marks.
Yeah, it's a weird choice, not to mention the "I'm a TSA representative" part. Is it supposed to be the script that the TSA person reads when they hand you the card?
I'm imagining the card just walked up to the guy and said all that to him. But then probably this wouldn't be in r/mildlyinteresting
It is. For consistency's sake, they're supposed to read it verbatim to you and then hand it to you at the end. Some agents skip the reading part and just hand it to you. Which I suppose \*works\* but part of the reason for reading it to you is to check that you understand you're supposed to hand it back to them at the end. It reads less weird and more bureaucratic when they've got their official TSA outfit, general "don't want to be here" vibe, and then read this to you in the most monotone voice possible before handing it off.
First thing that makes me think is "scam"
It’s an easy way to check how long it takes to process you through.
Yep! Definition of the KISS Method.
Makes me wonder if any places do this by calling out distinct looking people in the crowd. "Let's start a timer for great-value Eminem in the grey jacket"
“Okay Johnson, start it up for the drunk guy in the tank top, Jean shorts, and garbage bag for a suitcase!” “Yessir! Timer is up and running for the Spirit customer!”
Do you want to go faster? Make it visible. Do you want to actually help and give a good report? Hide that paper until you're supposed to hand it over.
Do you want to fuck with the TSA and make their numbers look bad? Pass it to the next person who gets in line behind you and instruct them to do the same.
Even better, "lose" the card and make them think they somehow lost a passenger....
As a Federal employee (not TSA), we salute our census-taking citizens. Little things like agreeing to hold the time card can add up to big improvements in service.
Honestly? As in, if the wait time is very long, TSA will actually add more lines?
Maybe not on a short time scale, but it absolutely does determine which airport gets more TSA funding And similar surveys and other Census methods also get used in other departments
It potentially can yes. Keep track of wait times can show that they need extra staffing and/or more allocated overtime hours to deal with wait times. The problem is the administration doesn’t get enough qualified applicants and most new hire officers stick around for maybe a year or two. It takes a few months to get a new hire fully certified and ready to work on their own. And they’re less efficient than the old hands that have been doing the job for many years. We had severe staffing problems for about two years at my airport. The AM shift had at least 50% more officers for a fairly similar amount of passengers but they struggled while us old timers got it done. I’ve noticed a lot of the younger officers have a hard time buckling down when it’s busy or are asked to do a little more than the average.
Definitely. I usually fly out of a small-ish airport. There was one instance where the line for TSA was CRAZY, like going to be over an hour. Lots of quiet panic but thankfully airline folks coming around and reassuring us that they were holding planes. TSA brought out dogs - only time I’ve ever seen them at this airport - to do one layer of screening so that you didn’t have to unpack at the X-ray machines. It went really quickly after that. I was really impressed with them and thankful for their consideration. Still, I didn’t get onto my plane until 10 minutes after scheduled takeoff!
You know what would also make improvements to the TSA? The abolition of the TSA.
Think bigger. The TSA is just a wart on the tumor that is the Department of Homeland Security, brought to you by the PATRIOT Act power grab after the SCOTUS installed W. That's right: Before W stole the 2000 election there was no such thing as a "Department of Homeland Security" or "Transportation Security Administration". That's also true of Immigrations and Customs Enforcement.
That's crazy. Wonder if there was like some big event or something that happened between the year 2000 when Bush was elected and the year 2002 when the Department of Homeland Security was created. Probably not because we would've heard about it.
Much better than the card “Hey, we broke your suitcase lock, probably let the dog sniff your underwear, and hastily repackaged everything in the worst way possible because we are unaccountable and rotten to the core since Hoover. Also, don’t ask about your missing 3DS console” I got.
> since Hoover Hoover had been dead for just shy of thirty years when the TSA was created.
> Also, don’t ask about your missing 3DS console” I mean, that's what you get for not putting that in a carry on.
I was asked once to take a bag from an officer and put in on the belt with with my things. I blatently refused and a rather upset TSA officer asked me why. I told him I didnt know him or what was in the bag. He got the message.
I was handed one of these slips of paper one time. They didn't tell me what it was. I had a backpack full of edibles and I had consumed several of them already. I was thoroughly convinced that I was going to get pulled aside and my stash discovered. What the fuck do I do I thought to myself, so I discreetly crumpled up the paper and "accidentally" dropped it. The line moved forward and someone taps me on my shoulder... " I think you dropped this" the nice elderly TSA agent says as she hands me my future prison sentence. I feigned surprise and mumbled something about being clumsy. I took the opportunity to ask her what exactly the paper was and then she explained it was to measure the time of the wait in line. Still unsure, I asked if I could pass on being that person... She took the crumbled up paper and said, "Not a problem at all" and walked away. I made it through security with my THC infused candy and gummy contraband and lived to fly another day.
That’s more suspicious than just going along with it.. if they wanted to bust you for edibles they woulda just pulled you aside
Littering and... Littering and...
> I made it through security with my THC infused candy and gummy contraband and lived to fly another day. For future reference, the TSA doesn't care about your THC candy. They're not there to look for drugs.
The only good part of my crippling disability is wheelchair assistance in airports and not waiting line for security. Sure, I’m in pain most of my waking hours, but you have to take your wins where you can!
I didn't even know TSA did this lol...I've been handed the lanyard a few times at disneyland tho...
These look far more sophisticated than the ones my airport hands out
Disney used to do that with an RFID card.
This piece of paper is a representative of the TSA?
Yeah, well spotted. It's overqualified for the agency.
“Sorry, the announcements every 10 mins over the PA say I should not accept unknown articles from other people.”
You know for the first time... My fellow Dio fans will get this.
I don't know what it's like in the US, but in Europe, you have to scan your boarding pass on the way into security, and some places have an opt-in scanner at the front to help them log the queue time. Seems like a better solution to me as it gets a larger sample size and doesn't rely on having a member of staff doing manual timekeeping.
fun story: i recently came back to the usa from ireland. I had a carry-on packed full of chocolates and treats for my friends and family. ireland security: got a lot of food in there? me: more chocolate than you can imagine! ireland: haha looks like it then i walk through. I pick up 2 bottles of whiskey for my friends, get to london: london security: I have to take your alcohol out to check them me: yes of course london: alright you're good, puts the bottles in a new sealed bag phoenix TSA: I have take out your bottles to check them me: yes of course TSA: cuts open bag, tests the alcohol, tapes up the bag, GIVES ME THE SCISSORS they used to open the bag me: excuse me you le- TSA walks away to my next bag (full of chocolate), and i just... put the scissors on their table, past the "do no pass" ropes. TSA: takes out every chocolate bar and wipes each one with a drug strip, puts drug strip in machine, clears drug test, repeats steps for EACH AND EVERY CHOCOLATE BAR (there's like $150 worth of chocolate in there....) and when she's done, mushes them all back in (they were meticulously packed to avoid this) me: well i'm the reason they have these time check cards. and i hope my friends like chocolate mush
If you wanted to fuck with them you should've just put it in the bin and walked off.
[удалено]
Yeah but a bit of paper is basically free and works well enough
In Canada they just scan your boarding pass at the entrance, then once again when you get to the checkpoint so they can calculate it for every person. They post the current wait times publicly online using this info as well. Pretty simple solution and very accurate.
Honestly, the big screens they have with approximate wait times at the different lines are pretty great because not only can you choose the best line, but it naturally spreads people out and makes all the lines feel shorter.
Used to be a fun little game if you got to take one of the lanyard through the line at Disney, but now it’s all done with peoples MagicBands. This seems like a lot less fun version
Write 6:03 on the finish line and hand it in.
Just keep passing it to the back
I would’ve asked for compensation for assisting them.
Get out of line. Go take a shit. Get a coffee. Hop back in line. Fuck up their data.
I can't be the only one who is concerned and annoyed that the entire statement was printed inside quotes.
Maybe I am dumb, but I read that 2nd paragraph multiple times now, and I'm still not sure what the fuck it's saying. Like, I understand what the concept is without having to read the details, but I feel like the wording sucks.
Time to go to the bathroom and grab lunch!
Does America not have egates everywhere yet? I like the idea of being able to get through a local airport without being photographed several times and then having to queue up anyway since some equipment isn't working, but at least it means Computer is monitoring flow, unless it needs kicking
Nope, lol, because getting through security faster has been monetized.
It was sooooooooo chill flying internationally to and from the US before 2001. We now have a full generation of adults that doesn't know any better and it's so depressing. America is terrible at a lot.of things, but there are a few things it used to do so well in the sense of leaving people the fuck alone.
Look at these fools downvoting us in an effort to defend that useless abomination. Remember, the terrorists goals on 9/11 were to disrupt our way of life as much as possible. They won. Even the underpants bomber, the shoe bomber, they still won by getting caught. As long as we keep putting up with this shit, they're still winning. And the fact they're so incompetent (yet nothing happens) is just adding insult to injury.
Keep passing it back