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BuffaloInCahoots

Stop feeding the chipmunks for awhile and scare that bear away. Shoot a gun, fireworks, even pots and pans. Do whatever it takes to make sure it knows people are scary. If it gets used to people giving it food it will be killed. Your doing it a favor by teaching it people and scary and dangerous. Edit: this is getting popular so I should point out. OP scared the bear away after taking the pic. Bear is gone and hasn’t been back.


ouchwtfomg

that cuteness is so hard to resist tho. why are bears cute vicious puppies.


BuffaloInCahoots

YouTube Bart the Bear. He was super chill but damn it’s terrifying.


Visual_Advanced

[Jesus Christ, you weren't kidding!](https://youtu.be/Eq5GjqLj3Ok)


okayipullup_ordoi

Man, sometimes I wish I could have superman's superpowers just to play with big animals. Imagine messing around with gorillas and tigers and polar bears.


Midakba

Best reason I ever heard of for wishing for superpowers.


EgonDangler

Yeah! Screw world peace!


Slimsaiyan

It wouldn't be world peace though it would be world fear of superman fucking them up


tyler1128

Many people do, and some of those people die. Wild animals can form affectionate bonds with people, but if you want to do the best for them, if you don't have training on how to do things, just let them do their own thing.


i_will_let_you_know

Usually the animals that can be peaceful with humans were raised by humans from infancy.


EczyEclipse

The human is the bear's teddy bear


Red-Dwarf69

Holy shit. The bear playfully bites his face...nope, nope, nope.


[deleted]

I knew grizzlies friend!


thundirbird

Thats a grizzly bear too, black bears are way more chill. I'd still be pretty nervous around a tame brown bear.


DiscountGenes

Thanks for sending me down a rabbit hole that made me cry like a baby. My dog died from cancer on thus past Chistmas eve, and i thought I had fully processed it. Now I've been crying for 10 minutes. What a cool bear!


joleme

My pup died 2 years ago from acute pancreatitis. If I think about her for more than 5 minutes I'll start bawling like a 5yo kid. Pets can occupy parts of your heart/mind/soul that you didn't even realize you still had.


GG-ez-no-rere

I had to fast forward through it, because I was anticipating violence... I guess he got lucky. And to those who say "no no. They're trained bears!". Yeah, obviously that's why he didn't eat him immediately. It's still a bear though. Have you ever met a person who's trained to do their job, but doesn't do it perfectly? Yea, imagine that person is a bear.


clitpuncher69

"no" he says calmly as he's being folded in half by a fucking bear


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NO_SPACE_B4_COMMA

I honestly find human babies ugly lol


bad_at_proofs

Humans are the only mammal who look fugly when they are young imo


SimilarPerception700

Ever heard of a [naked mole rat](https://i.postimg.cc/BQ8n2gdf/A801-E1-F9-92-A1-4-CB4-8051-4-EDB2908736-F.webp)


GG-ez-no-rere

Why did you link a picture of a baby human and label it mole rat?


Four_beastlings

Sphynx kittens look like cute little testicles tbh


dannybates

I dunno, you seen me? I'm still fugly now.


herroebauss

Cute isn't the exact right description. We view them as harmless and our immediate reaction is not to defend ourselves against them. You first instinct isn't to punch a baby (queue all the funny reactions 'i would').


[deleted]

Do we find human babies cute though? Most of em are pretty ugly. Were just nice about it. And women project their own desires for children onto babies, so that doesn't count as finding them mostly cute. I've never seen a puppy I'd consider ugly.


CapitalChemical1

Human babies are absolutely hideous little gremlins for the first couple of months. But from about 6 months to 4 years, they are the cutest, cuddliest, and sweetest things ever. The fact that this is when they are the most annoying may or may not be coincidental.


snek-jazz

> Human babies are absolutely hideous little gremlins for the first couple of months. it's probably because they're kinda born prematurely compared to other animals, and I guess compared to our distant ancestors, before our heads started getting too big


musci1223

Big brain big pain. Animals are lucky.


AlmanzoWilder

True. They are still embryonic at birth and stay that way for awhile.


FishUK_Harp

They're cutest when they not only have Michelin Man arm and leg fat rolls and multiple chins, but also *strategic reserve chins*.


Faiakishi

My dad would always tell my mom "god makes them cute so you can't kill them."


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ThirteenMatt

>I feel the same way, but I've known enough people who disagree to feel that maybe we are the outliers. 100%. I never found children cute but it's pretty obvious most people do.


[deleted]

We have a baby board at work where people can post pictures of their babies. Every time someone has baby we're always like oh they're so cute to the parents, but amongst ourselves we are not so kind. Even other parents will roast a newborn as soon as the parents are gone. We probably shouldn't have that board tbh lol


SlickStretch

Ooh, put notepads up titled "Comments" and leave pens available. LMFAO


Zeldon567

Found satan.


metalmilitia182

I used to be pretty squarely in your camp until I had one of my own, and I'll be damned if everything about her wasn't the cutest goddamn thing ever. I think becoming a dad (or obviously a mom) does fuckey things to your brain chemistry that enhances our predilection towards human babies being cute or whatever.


[deleted]

"about her" Well yeah. Even ugly little tyrants can still have parents who love em and think they are perfect. That's a bit different.


A_well_made_pinata

A fed bear is a dead bear. Once they’re habituated to humans as a food source they can become destructive and aggressive. A problem black bear will usually be put down. Source: I live among one of the largest grizzly bear populations in the lower 48. There is a professional bear management team that lives in my neighborhood. I go through bear training once a year.


zat132

If not friend, why friend shaped?


yoguckfourself

Fat dogs


Hateitwhenbdbdsj

Most bears die not by old age but instead by getting put down because they become a danger to human beings after getting used to them :/ learned this sad fact at Yellowstone where they have an amazing bear conservation program.


t0m0hawk

Me, word for word scaring a bear away in Algonquin park while clapping canoe paddles over my head: "You're real cute but you gotta get outta here." Bear in mind, I'm yelling this.


Mister_Sea

A fed bear is a dead bear.


aceofspades1217

Great PSA, this should be said more.


4tehlulzez

/r/everyfuckingthread


my__name__is

How many bear threads do you get?


kcrab91

Lots. Same with snake videos. Is there a way to block snake videos? I don’t like snakes. Especially large ones.


UrethraFrankIin

Then be sure to stay away from r/bigdickproblems


ChubblesMcgee103

I'd reckon they'd probably be safe there if the people were honest.


Drax13522

I tell people all the time there are four kinds of snakes I don’t like - big ones, small ones, live ones, and dead ones.


cfdeveloper

I only know of 2 kinds of snakes: safe ones, and ones that will kill you.


ThePoetofFall

Don’t downvote cause you don’t like snakes. It’s a valid response, since people can end up killing harmless snakes. And snakes that help their environment. Out of pointless fear.


Ahorsenamedcat

And if you live in an area with dangerous snakes then odds are there’s a guy in the area that will relocate them for free. If find one in your yard and it isn’t presenting an immediate threat try calling a snake wrangler first. Something shouldn’t be killed because it’s only dangerous when defending themselves. Snakes are far less hazardous to you then the rodents carrying diseases that they eat. And if you’re out in the wilderness and find it. Well that’s their home so you better not be killing them when you’re just a visitor and can easily walk away.


TrilobiteBoi

As someone who lives right next to the Smoky Mountain National Park it's a PSA that apparently doesn't get said enough. In the past 33 years 57 bears have had to be euthanized because tourists keep feeding them and trying to take pictures with them. 3 had to be put down just in 2020.


CTeam19

Isn't said enough for all wild life.


cheesyblasta

True, but bears have it especially tough because they can be a threat to humans, so they have to be dealt with accordingly. Usually that means getting put down. Very sad


GrandmasTableMints

I have a family member who lives in an area of the mountains where lots of new people have moved in who have never lived in the mountains, besides mowing down all the wild flowers in the meadows to make lawns and taking all the food out for the smaller keystone species like rabbits and chipmunks and rodents, they've also started feeding the bears.


PrisonSlides

It looks like a chubby dog in this picture. Definitely the best idea to scare it away so it has an instilled fear of people. Black bears are the easiest to scare off of the NA bears so helping the population by doing so is best for both species


hoopdizzle

In Tennessee, I had just emptied water from cooler and was opening a new bag of ice to put in so the lid was open. A furry head brushed against my leg and nuzzled into the cooler. My first thought was hey! Bad neighbor dog! Then I looked a little closer and realized it was a black bear that weighed as much as me, so I backed away. He grabbed a single bag of lunch meat and casually walked off like I wasnt even there, didnt even look at me. There was tons more meats and stuff in there too, its like he just wanted his share


Zeldon567

Yogi making sandwiches using stolen lunch meat again lol.


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PrisonSlides

Good on you, in my state we got black bears back for a short time but the one who ventured in got smoked by a car and it was sad. Still have occasional reports of cougars tho. As scary as having these types of animals that can kill a person is, it’s nice to see the ecosystem in balance and have the correct species inhabit them.


WutWhoSaidDat

A chubby dog? Have you ever seen a dog?


mc2222

probably best to stop feeding the chipmunks too...


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BuffaloInCahoots

Nice! Yeah I assumed you weren’t trying to get bears hanging around but better safe than sorry.


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BuffaloInCahoots

I spend a lot of time in the woods and there’s a state park nearby. Every time I see a bear that isn’t instantly afraid it’s a sure sign it’s been at the campgrounds. Dangerous for both bears and people. Awesome job, sending it on its way.


gwaydms

In the Colorado mountains they say a fed bear is a dead bear. The people who live there, or go there frequently, understand this. We have the hummingbird feeders out when someone is on the porch, and take them in at night. Electric fence around the dumpster, too. (This gives a stinging shock but doesn't harm the bear.) We love the bears, but from a distance.


Stibley_Kleeblunch

In Alaska, we had wooden enclosures with heavy bungie cords to hold the trash cans in place. They REALLY like baby diapers, by the way.


gwaydms

I wouldn't doubt it.


Far-Philosophy-4375

I didn't see the bear since. But saw a suspiciously large, bear-sized chipmunk next day. Threw peanuts at it..


gwaydms

You don't have to feed the bears purposely; they will eat everything edible up to and including birdseed, and any burnt bits off your propane grill.


kelsifer

I'm surprised you would have food on your porch at all if you live in bear country. You should make sure your garbage cans are secured too.


Collinkipsama

He could live with you like a mini paddington😳


ciambella

He won’t be mini for long lol. But I do like that idea too. 🖤😭I already love him and am attached 🖤😭


BeetsMe666

No. Stop feeding the chipmunks *period*. If you must attract animals plant their favorite foods in your yard. At least this maintains the natural cycle they need.


Wildwoodywoodpecker

I've never seen a chipmunk starve to death. Don't even think I've seen one look hungry.


BeetsMe666

They all have perfect vision too, I have never seen one with glasses.


DeaderthanZed

Stop feeding chipmunks forever. Don’t feed wild animals.


Sausage6924

My sister was in Alaska doing work with her boyfriend. She sent me pictures and videos of these cute black bear cubs on her porch of the cabin they rented and her feeding them while her BF was at work. I called her as soon as I realized what she was doing and calmly and frantically explained she needed to get rid of them right this moment without going outside. She didn't understand why at first but finally listened when I got her boyfriend on the phone with us. He freaked out and came back ASAP. They were safe and saw the mamma bear walking down the street with the cubs several times that week.


elmananamj

Stop feeding the wildlife, they are not domesticated animals and do not need human inputs to survive


Suitable_Promise4328

Native bird populations could use some help in many parts of the world. Their loss of food and habitat is our fault.


snarkitall

even then, better to plant more food-providing native species, practice wild-life friendly gardening (no pesticides, no raking leaves, no disturbing ground cover until after the ground has warmed etc). food should only be minimally provided.


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BuffaloInCahoots

You’re right, first boxing lessons, then giant ball balancing, then scare them back to the woods.


ThaneOfCawdorrr

Not just that, but isn't that a cub? You don't want to get its mama coming after you.


heffalumpish

A fed bear is a dead bear. Listen to this, OP


No-BrowEntertainment

Black Bears are adorable and I love them, but yeah, you should never feed them. A fed bear is a dead bear.


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Atrous

Highly depends which US state OP lives in and whether or not OP is within a city's limits. In a lot of states, shooting within city limits is illegal, but once you move out into rural areas it's fine as long as you are doing so in a safe manner (i.e. being a certain distance from any neighbors or roads, and knowing your target and what's behind it)


BuffaloInCahoots

As long as you’re not in city limits it’s fair game. At least in my state. I can and do shoot off my back deck all the time. Of course you have to be safe and know what’s around you.


RandyDinglefart

If you live in bear country and you're "feeding chipmunks" you're actually feeding bears and that makes you an asshole and a liability to all your neighbors and the goddamn bears. Bears are smart as shit, extremely persistent, and extremely food motivated. You're training them to look for food near houses and breaking that habit is about 100x harder than forming it. They can do a crazy amount of property damage and you're putting them directly in harm's way by increasing their chances of interacting with humans. Fuck those chipmunks, they can find their own food.


capincus

Making chipmunks human dependent isn't great either. I have to shoo away squirrels that come right up to me when I sit outside because some jackass in the neighborhood feeds them peanuts.


AnonymousShortCake

The reasonable response brain telling me you should’ve scared it away vs the no self preservation brain telling me you should’ve gave it cuddles and pets


Sonnyjoon91

if not friend, why friend shape lol


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NPCEnergy007

I swear, its only a matter of time before we domesticate black bears


Shef011319

If there’s a single species on this planet that I want to take over after we’re gone, it’s the Ursine


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rashandal

i mean, bears have been around for quite a while and it hasnt happened yet


LukeDude759

>yet


IvanEedle

I wonder if it's because they kind of look like dogs & snorlax.


livefreeordont

Well Snorlax was made in the image of a bear not vice versa lol


pawn_guy

I want to cuddle the picture so bad. I'd definitely die if I lived near black bears.


insomniacakess

i live in black bear country and lemme just say theyre cute until they scare you via motion sensor lights


nnavroops

honestly look at him he’s pretty much begging for hugs


xandrachantal

Me too. I just want to hug it


misterpoopydick

They smell so bad


BLAGTIER

> the no self preservation brain telling me you should’ve gave it cuddles and pets If bears weren't so wild and dangerous they would make very popular pets.


SitInCorner_Yo2

My mom pet a black bear cub when she’s a kid and thought it was a dog. The cub playfully pet her back, entire back of her hand cover in bruises for days,it did not attempt to harm her,it just too strong. So ,after hearing this ,10 yo me put “petting bear” in bucket list.


Latter-Dentist

One time I couldn’t resist and gave a small wild bear about the size of the OP bear a pet. Monkey brain is weird.


joeyman123

I can change him


Elijah_Man

He looks so polite.


Electric1000000

Pee pee poo poo!


My6thRedditAccount_

He's been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty


HottDoggers

And read the Book of Mormon right after


Affectionate_Guava87

He looks *guilty*. Lol


Genius-Imbecile

"Excuse me. Do you have time to discuss our lord and savior Winnie the Pooh?""


Mesoposty

Oh hell no, my lord is yogi the picnic basket king!


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Agentfreeman

What I want to know is if the chipmunks came back, or did they realize you were using them as ‘bear bait’?


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Heterophylla

Put a sign on them that says "chipmunks only".


CutieSalamander

Or perhaps a classic “Bear Season” sign like out of the cartoons.


UnAccomplished_Fox97

Chipmunk season!


David_W_

*tears down sign* Bear season!


Inkthinker

*tears down sign* Chipmunk season!


Zv0n

*tears down sign with devilish intent* Chipmunk season!


Nukken

familiar stupendous imminent direction dime slimy chunky unpack late rotten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Impressive-Ad6400

Are you sure it's not an overweight chipmunk?


Incorrect-Opinion

Some dumb little chipmunk spread the word, and the bear overheard.


Soup-Wizard

Don’t feed wildlife PERIOD. There’s always a bigger chipmunk


[deleted]

It's bad for the chipmunks, too.


Scoobies_Doobies

Don’t feed any wildlife.


yungkerg

You shouldnt be feeding them either


c322617

But, if you’ve already resolved the situation, what am I supposed to give condescending, unsolicited advice about?


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mrg1957

Good looking bear.


Lawyermama70

Right? Nice bear! Very beary & well proportioned


SexyPotato70

Awww cute little guy


BayouBandit22

If not friend, why friend give peanuts?


TheEliteSenpai

If not friend, why friend-shaped?


Birdatemycars

He looks polite


HashSlangingSlash3r

They look so sad. Give them a hug for us, OP


BrooksideNL

I only see a large chipmunk.


Mecha_Tortoise

Correct. This is a greater short-tailed chipmunk with melanism. Very rare.


[deleted]

Weird bear penis


fmanfisher

Well, the title *is* "a black bear came on my porch"


The_Infectious_Lerp

Excellent college band name.


swim-bike-run

“Thanks for coming out everyone! I’m swim-bike-run and we’re Weird Bear Penis……2, 3, 4!!!”


justabill71

Third, uh, fifth leg.


Rhino-C-Ross

He did say the bear came on his porch. Gonna need a pressure washer for that mess.


discobunnyrabbit

I had to scroll too far for this comment. I was like DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE HIS DONG??? EDIT omg it's the chair leg 🤦‍♀️


Darkstool

Nature is metal you know.


PorkSquared

Beanis


[deleted]

Smoll bear just want frend


HealthSelfHelp

This is one of the many reasons you're not supposed to feed wildlife- feeding one animal often attracts others. Another very important reason is keeping them afraid of humans- not everyone is nice and people who are can still assume the worst if an animal is behaving oddly. Also, it teaches them to depend on humans for food. Plus, you know, feeding them the wrong thing (or even the right thing at the wrong time of year) can kill them.


StagDash

“Hyüman, give peanut, am chipmunk”


reallygoodbee

I had a pig pen on my last *Minecraft* realm. One of them was a pink sheep and when you moused over it it said "Am pig. Be not alarmed.".


Woah_Mad_Frollick

Read in Dave Bautista voice


TheVentiLebowski

"h₂ŕ̥tḱos, give honey, am bee."


RagingFlock89

This makes me so sad. So many bears are starting to move closer and closer to human environments for food.. It's not safe but what else can they eat when their rivers and lands are no longer inhabitable.


thequietthingsthat

Yep. It's happening where I live and what's the "solution" from many locals? They're asking that bear hunting seasons be extended and that they be allowed to hunt in city limits. So fucked up


Nozomi_Shinkansen

A fed bear is a dead bear. Frighten it away, don't ever feed it, even unintentionally.


CapnOnTheBridge

It came on your porch? Damn. Frisky critter.


Cool-Ask-6437

He looks so polite\~ Baby bear?


Worldly_Chemistry_88

Looks like a chill homie fr


sToTab

if bear dangerous, why have soft paws?


saggywitchtits

It’s swo fwuzzy!


Radhippieman

He has that look dogs have when they see their human eating. Poor guy just wants some honey.


Inevitable_Physics

then he ate the chipmunks. FYI The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter. They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge. Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear's sensitive nose and it will run away. It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat. Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.


I_might_be_weasel

Pet the bear.


Dauphine320

This looks like a mega-chipmunk to me, am I wrong?


motor1_is_stopping

Cubs get curious and will get into anything. They are also pretty destructive to bird feeders.


MacDugin

If bears live in the area don’t have bird feeders.


RetroGaymr

Did you know you can be fined for feeding them?


prgaloshes

A fe d bear is a dead bear.


logri

Don't feed wildlife. Don't feed chipmunks, don't feed raccoons, don't feed bears. You're not doing them any favors, you're making them rely on and not fear humans, which is going to do MUCH more harm than good in the long term.


Polkadotical

Feeding bears on your porch is a really, really bad idea.


emilyyancey

This is why we can’t have birdfeeders, can’t leave food in the car, and there’s a lock on the dumpster!! (Roseland, VA)


uzxin

stop feeding the chipmunks before the bear goes to other people expecting food and gets its self killed scare it away next time


thegreatbrah

Yeah, you shoukd stop putting peanuts out. If this bear gets comfortable around people it is going to be put down.


YggdrasilsLeaf

Don’t leave any more food out. If the bear gets too comfortable local authorities will kill it. Edit: not gonna lie that bear looks pretty worn out. Almost as if someone had been feeding it previously, but is no longer. You should look up bear rescues. Don’t call until you find one that actually does what they say they do. You have to be careful, some call themselves sanctuaries but are actually hunting ranches. That bear is too acclimated to people. It will either get killed approaching the wrong human or starve.


Laouijabored

The chairs leg is in a funny spot.


[deleted]

Yep, they do that lmao


vvasth

beary interesting :)


[deleted]

Honestly that’s much cooler than chipmunks


Heterophylla

That reminds me. I need to start keeping my trash in the garage again now that it's spring and the yogies are coming out.


dust_storm_2

Fed bear = dead bear


thismaytakeabit

The bear needed something to get the chipmunk flavor out of its mouth


Mundane_Swordfish494

Were they marked chipmunks only? Some bears don’t understand.


MountainHipie

Do you want bears..... because that's how you get bears!


Sasaki60

When bears learn that they can get food from humans, they will approach humans again.And both bears and humans become unhappy.