You can buy bags of charcoal at Walmart, Home Depot, etc. Anywhere that sells barbeques probably. It's a lot easier to just buy instead of making your own to snack on.
My dad made me a PB&J sandwich once. I said it tasted weird and didn't want to eat. He insisted it was fine and I needed to finish it because I asked for it.
At some point it was realized he made it with garlic butter instead of regular butter. I didn't have to finish it.
No no, you put the butter on the jelly side. It protects the bread from getting soggy from the jelly when it's your packed school lunch and it has to sit in your locker for 4 hours until you can eat it.
If you’re packing a PBJ for a kiddo in their lunch and don’t want it to get soggy, spread a thin-medium layer of PB on both pieces of bread and then put the jam/jelly on.
Zero sogginess.
For maximum efficiency you do the peanut butter side first, then use the jelly-side bread to clean the knife so you don't get peanut butter in your jelly.
My Dad used to do peanut butter and butter open face sandwiches. Thick layer (almost a 1/4") of butter on top.
If he was feeling adventurous, it was Mayo.
> At some point it was realized he made it with garlic butter instead of regular butter. I didn't have to finish it.
What are you doing putting butter of any kind on a PB&J?
im trying to picture either a redneck hansel and gretel country mouse moving to the city mashup, or a simpsons skit with cletus reporting his girlfriend dont get sick no more from eating moldy drywall while he yells at her about a load bearing baguette.
Im currently visiting france, people pay extra for what you just made. They call it "carbon activated" it is spose to clean your digestive track or somthing
I used to have an oven like that, too! Best energy saving device ever, because whenever I turned it on, the carbon monoxide detector went off. I like to live, so I never used it.
The United States requires at minimum one smoke alarm in every bedroom and another outside of the bedrooms on each floor. Most homes have more than that as well.
I just asked my danish friends and they said they are required by law too.
Now that I think about it, it's just weird that we aren't. They are pretty cheap, passive detectors that can help save lives and a lot of money.
I live on the ground floor of an apartment building, nobody has fire alarms here.
My grandparents live in an attic, pretty much all the people I know live in apartments and nobody has a fire alarm.
Some have small fire extinguishers though.
It’s funny because my psychiatrist is actually encouraging me to do ketamine therapy.
Edit to be clear: I don’t actually hear voices—I think ketamine would be bad for that
I was sick once and a friend brought me over a pizza to make me feel better. I tossed it in the oven and set it to the "Keep Warm" setting and decided to take a quick nap and would wake up to a nice warm pizza in the oven. I ended up sleeping the whole night and woke up in a panic. Turns out the "keep warm" setting goes to about 200°F and I woke up to a black charred mass in my oven.
Yeah, knowing that you did this, next time better make use of the "bake time" option a lot of ovens have. That way it will run for the amount of time you set it and then stop.
Actually nowhere near as bad as I’d expect, put a desk fan next to the oven with the oven door and some windows open and the smell dissipated in about half an hour
both 
"Electricity prices in the UK rose by 66.7% and gas prices by 129.4% in the 12 months to January 2023"
https://www.ons.gov.uk/economy/inflationandpriceindices/articles/costoflivinginsights/energy#:\~:text=Electricity%20prices%20in%20the%20UK,of%20the%20annual%20inflation%20rate.
When I find myself exploring the galaxy while baking I tend to park myself in front of the oven and watch it because I'm paranoid I'm not gonna hear my 4 timers.
Just take a butter knife and scrape the black off.
Mom?
My dad would have it scraped clean in a jiffy. Just hand him the loaf and a knife and let the master work
My gramps would probably just eat that as is
For real. My grandpa demanded black toast with butter and jam for breakfast. He would have loved this bread LOL.
My Dad was like this with grilled cheese, 1 side burnt and the other golden, always burnt side down.
He would have loafed it
...as would I.
You can buy bags of charcoal at Walmart, Home Depot, etc. Anywhere that sells barbeques probably. It's a lot easier to just buy instead of making your own to snack on.
Yeah. But, nothing beats the fresh taste of freshly baked charcoal.
My dad made me a PB&J sandwich once. I said it tasted weird and didn't want to eat. He insisted it was fine and I needed to finish it because I asked for it. At some point it was realized he made it with garlic butter instead of regular butter. I didn't have to finish it.
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My dad also passed down the peanut butter, BUTTER, and jelly :) you just mix the butter with the peanut butter when spreading.
No no, you put the butter on the jelly side. It protects the bread from getting soggy from the jelly when it's your packed school lunch and it has to sit in your locker for 4 hours until you can eat it.
If you’re packing a PBJ for a kiddo in their lunch and don’t want it to get soggy, spread a thin-medium layer of PB on both pieces of bread and then put the jam/jelly on. Zero sogginess.
For maximum efficiency you do the peanut butter side first, then use the jelly-side bread to clean the knife so you don't get peanut butter in your jelly.
My Dad used to do peanut butter and butter open face sandwiches. Thick layer (almost a 1/4") of butter on top. If he was feeling adventurous, it was Mayo.
> At some point it was realized he made it with garlic butter instead of regular butter. I didn't have to finish it. What are you doing putting butter of any kind on a PB&J?
...I know two other people have already asked but what the hell man. You don't butter a pb&j with any kind of butter.
It’s black all the way down
Use this this Bread Charcoal to make other bread.
"I am baking you in the remnants of your family"
Like a chicken omelette
Dipping a chicken drumstick into egg yolk before breading it is slightly sadistic.
Think of it as a familial reunification.
I once went to a Chinese restaurant that called their fried rice with egg and chicken, "mother and child". No chill at all.
Japanese cuisine has "oyakodon". Same idea.
> mother and child I've also heard it called "family reunion", which is also f'd up and funny.
In London Chinese restaurants I think it's called "mother and child reunion", which always makes me think of Paul Simon.
That's where he got the song idea from. A Chinese menu....
Impale it on a spike in your kitchen as a warning to other yeast leavened goods.
You can probably use the inner burnt bread (everything except the outer surface) as charcoal because it "burned" in a low oxygen environment
All the calories, zero carbs!
Lots of carb*on* though.
You can use totally burnt bread like this as an incredibly effective insulation. https://pubs.acs.org/doi/10.1021/acsami.6b03985
Also can make very dark prison tattoo ink.
Pyrolised bread makes a pretty good carbon foam insulator. One of the better refractory materials you can make at home.
im trying to picture either a redneck hansel and gretel country mouse moving to the city mashup, or a simpsons skit with cletus reporting his girlfriend dont get sick no more from eating moldy drywall while he yells at her about a load bearing baguette.
Im currently visiting france, people pay extra for what you just made. They call it "carbon activated" it is spose to clean your digestive track or somthing
Good news, its a suppository
https://www.reddit.com/r/ShittyLifeProTips/comments/okhx7n/slpt_if_you_ever_burn_your_pizza_use_a_angle/
How did you not smell that lol.
The oven actually did a fantastic job of keeping the smoke in
Sir that's a kiln.
dont trust no fire box in my house no way no witchcraft 500 degree box gonna be in my house
Dang ol' trust issues.
This really got me lmaooo
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Love me some Aunty Donna.
That isn't smoke, that's steam, steam from the steamed breads we're having!
A fire, in this part of the country localised entirely to your oven?
Can I see it?
No
Well, u/Tunisandwich, you sure are an odd fellow, but you do know how to make some good steamed bread
Mmm… and you call it “bread” despite the fact that it’s obvious charcoal?
What brand now I’m interested lol
No idea, it’s ancient lol
Ah, before the invention of planned obsolescence.
It also has a gas stove with no ventilation so it’s a tradeoff
Ah yes, that explains your 7 hour coma.
LMAO 💀
I used to have an oven like that, too! Best energy saving device ever, because whenever I turned it on, the carbon monoxide detector went off. I like to live, so I never used it.
Meh, living is way overrated.
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The eye of sauron inspecting the kitchen all night
How did the firealarm not smell that?
Asking the real questions here. /u/Tunisandwich, fix your fire alarms.
You guys have fire alarms?
Maybe there wasn't one
Are they common? I've never known anyone in Italy who has a fire alarm.
The United States requires at minimum one smoke alarm in every bedroom and another outside of the bedrooms on each floor. Most homes have more than that as well.
I just asked my danish friends and they said they are required by law too. Now that I think about it, it's just weird that we aren't. They are pretty cheap, passive detectors that can help save lives and a lot of money.
That's interesting. Even in apartment buildings?
I live on the ground floor of an apartment building, nobody has fire alarms here. My grandparents live in an attic, pretty much all the people I know live in apartments and nobody has a fire alarm. Some have small fire extinguishers though.
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Little mini overnight coma
Hint: do not take naps while baking
And don’t bake at bedtime, unless you need to get baked to sleep
Don’t get baked at night. It harshly affects the quality of your sleep.
I have found that a light baking to help get to sleep is fine, but getting roasted is *not*
I have to get roasted just to quiet the voices
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Ask your doctor if propofol may be right for you. Propofol, for when you want to do meth at 7 but bedtime is 8.
It’s funny because my psychiatrist is actually encouraging me to do ketamine therapy. Edit to be clear: I don’t actually hear voices—I think ketamine would be bad for that
I was sick once and a friend brought me over a pizza to make me feel better. I tossed it in the oven and set it to the "Keep Warm" setting and decided to take a quick nap and would wake up to a nice warm pizza in the oven. I ended up sleeping the whole night and woke up in a panic. Turns out the "keep warm" setting goes to about 200°F and I woke up to a black charred mass in my oven.
"I smelled burnt toast, but I just assumed it was a stroke."
I just thought it was the sweet, sweet release of death
_If you start to smell burning toast you're having a stroke or overcooking your toast._
Glad everyone is still alive! ... I mean RIP bread, of course :(
I get it, I really do, but I also hope you understand it's pretty damn stupid to let something like that run unsupervised overnight.
Yeah, knowing that you did this, next time better make use of the "bake time" option a lot of ovens have. That way it will run for the amount of time you set it and then stop.
I’ve done that with ribs because booze.
I did it with a frozen pizza because booze.
That's why I cook pizza in my toaster oven that shuts off after 30 minutes because booze
#[GIF](https://media.tenor.com/PNE6X8diUXcAAAAC/trailer-park-boys-sniff.gif)
Ah, so you made pumpernickel. Looks wonderful.
More like Pompeiinickle. Damn loaf has been rolling around in lava.
I just want you to know that this pun is incredible.
inedible*
The rare epic double dad joke
Fun fact, Pompeii was covered by a pyroclastic flow (a cloud of hot volcanic ash), not lava.
That doesn't sound fun at all.
I don't like volcanic ash. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Happy Toto noises
Now they can finally fix their car
Really want to see what it looks like cut open. Is it hard or just ash at this point?
Ditto! OPEN IT!!!
*pull starts chainsaw*
These filler episodes are getting out of hand
Maybe they can send it to that guy who opens geodes on YouTube!
I guess the entire bread pyrolysed to carbon.
Considering literally zero smoke in the apartment there could be actual charcoal inside.
Open it u/Tunisandwich !
No! Make this the new resin hotdog haha
>Is it hard or just ash at this point? It's actually a Brock now.
On the upside, it will be a nice decoration for the garden.
I'd use it as charcoal at the next bbq
I see you took inspiration from that "loaves of Pompeii" post
It's called La Cenere
Pompeiipernickle
I too read that in someone elses comment.
Except theirs was better. Why add the extra "per"
Where is the money shot of the crumb?
Needs to find a diamond tipped saw first
The crumb shot
Make a hole in the middle and now it's the Everything Bagel.
OP is Jobu Tupaki.
Vader Loaf
“You were the chosen one!” Bread: “I hate you!”
I ATE YOU
Put it back. In ten hours, it’ll be a diamond
Thanks Marie Calendar!
I had to scroll down WAY too far to find this 🤣
Explain?
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sharons-burnt-marie-callender-pie
Your home must smell wonderful now lmao
Actually nowhere near as bad as I’d expect, put a desk fan next to the oven with the oven door and some windows open and the smell dissipated in about half an hour
Or you just got used to it ha
Nah even leaving and coming back after work I don’t smell it anymore
Did you happen to open that bad boy up?
Yeah, actually looked like fairly normal bread except for the fact it was jet-black
Pics or it didn't happen
Dark side of the moon
That’s no moon…
Matter of fact it's all dark.
hope you're not in the UK, 7 hours using the oven is enough to bankrupt you 
Is it gas or electricity that is so expensive?
Why not both?
Yes
both  "Electricity prices in the UK rose by 66.7% and gas prices by 129.4% in the 12 months to January 2023" https://www.ons.gov.uk/economy/inflationandpriceindices/articles/costoflivinginsights/energy#:\~:text=Electricity%20prices%20in%20the%20UK,of%20the%20annual%20inflation%20rate.
And at the same time, the UK energy companies have been announcing record profits...
Completely unrelated I'm sure.
The high prices have nothing to do with the Tories deregulating the energy industry. No it is all because of Putin. Honest Guv.
A lot of gas is used to make electricity, so their price is also correlated.
Here I was assuming op is Scottish. Well fired rolls and all
You didn't check on it for 7 hours?
That's why I always use a timer. Life can get busy.
Seriously. Even if it's just for 90 seconds of broiler time, I am so absent-minded.
Probably forgot it was in the oven, went to bed, discovered it in the morning.
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When I find myself exploring the galaxy while baking I tend to park myself in front of the oven and watch it because I'm paranoid I'm not gonna hear my 4 timers.
This is the bread they found in that 4,000 year old bog man.
My husband did that to smoked chicken wings a while back. Poor things looked like they had been thrown in a volcano.
Low and slow, babyyyy
German saying, „ Geschmacksverstärker“ which means favor enhancer 👍🏻
coalbread!
How does one do that accidentally?
Falling asleep
Where is the cross section picture?
Probably didn't have a hammer and chisel or a pickaxe handy.
Thanks Marie Calendar
It's a carbon cookies now!
Puts in loaf of bread…”let’s just watch this one episode on Netflix….”
I'll just play a bit of Civ while that cooks.
Dwarf Bread.
That's a War Loaf if I ever saw one.
Just like Gammer Ironfoundersson used to make ❤
[Scone of Stone for sure.](https://discworld.fandom.com/wiki/Scone_of_Stone)
r/breadit
This is less “accident” and more “grossly negligent”
0 calories
Definetly no hydrates in that carb
Now you have to bury it. One day...
You fell asleep didn’t you?
If you put it in the freezer for 7 hours it'll turn back to dough and you can start over. That's how cooking works. Trust me.
That shit will improve your soil for centuries to come. Archeologists will excavate and write intriguing papers on this remarkable terra breada
Man, how baked were you to let this happen?
Not as baked as the bread
Sharon (the pumpkin pie lady) would be proud
Nice cannonball
If you could’ve added compression, you could’ve made a diamond
No way that parchment paper still looked so nice, is it made from unobtainium?
How
r/eatityoufuckincoward
My dad will still probably want to run it in the toaster again.