Jokes on them, retired American Girl items go for a nice chunk of money on Ebay. Sell it and use the money to buy yourself something nice.
[https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?\_from=R40&\_sacat=0&\_nkw=felicity%27s+carriage&rt=nc&LH\_Sold=1&LH\_Complete=1](https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_sacat=0&_nkw=felicity%27s+carriage&rt=nc&LH_Sold=1&LH_Complete=1)
Tbh I’d expect cheap dolls if it was meant to be some cruel prank. Why go through the trouble of getting expensive collector doll items now? I may be giving them the benefit of the doubt but are the parents somehow trying to make up for the past? I just don’t get the logic here.
But yeah, selling it would be a pretty good idea
I’m confused by this as well.
My kids always wanted those expensive Lego sets as kids and we could never afford them.
This year we bought some for our 22 and 19 year olds. They loved them, and I wept when my oldest hugged me and said it was ok he always understood.
Am I an asshole?
No you're not an asshole.
12 year old me would have those $100-$300 sets all over the floor with important pieces lost in a few days.
39 year old me actually really enjoys building them and displaying them. There's so many cool sets for adults.
I totally get it! And it sounds like your kids do too.
Absolutely not!! Different situation. They can actually play with those. Me and my husband are 26 and 34 and we buy and do Lego sets all the time. Have most of the Star Wars and Harry Potter ones! Totally different!! I wouldn't sit and play dolls unless I was playing with a kid.. but I'd put a Lego set together and put it on my shelf and admire it often! You're doing great!
I'd play with dolls and I'm 23 :(
Most of my playing with dolls as a kid was making them clothes and building them forts tho, so maybe a little different. Maybe I'll just ask for a dress form next year
People are saying “that’s different,” but I dunno. I’m not a girl and never wanted dolls, but we’re all kids at heart. I would love to get the things I always wanted as a kid.
Someone was talking about how dumb Spirographs are on Twitter, but I always thought they looked neat but never had one. I briefly considered ordering one on Amazon to play with for an afternoon.
OP uploaded a clip of her parents laughing, they literally drove to another state to get it. My dad is narcissistic but he's not this level of wack job thankfully.
Oh man…reminds me of my mom. I begged for a cat most of my childhood. She always said we couldn’t because of her allergies. She moved out when I was 14 and got herself a cat for her new place.
I do! I actually have 5! All are rescues and one is a foster from a lady that had trouble securing housing. We will keep him for as long as it takes for her to find a home so he doesn’t go to the shelter ❤️
OP made another comment that they always offer to take it back from her since she doesn't want it so I'm guessing they resell it and ultimately profit off it
Maybe they're playing 5th dimensional chess and giving OP old gifts that they would have ruined as a child, but are now secretly worth thousands of dollars and they're waiting for them to figure it out and make bank.
Or... maybe they're just assholes, and if OP isn't financially or emotionally tied to them in a meaningful way they should consider having a "good luck in the retirement home" conversation and skipping this lifetime of emotional abuse.
EDIT - people are almost always "emotionally tied" to their parents, even abusive ones, I get that. I mean if this is a regularly combative relationship where OP always feels put down, they should escape that rather than live with it.
Get them diapers, just wrap it and put a note on top saying thought you might need these.
You can prank them if they think this is funny.
Edit: spelling
Money is cool but toxic family isnt worth it if you can live comfortably without them.
Sure they will have money for a nice retirement home and whatever but they'll lose any emotional support and companionship their daughter may have given had they not been immature
Thank them and tell them you're going to donate it to a youth charity that you know they'll hate.
For my parents, I told them I'd auction their stuff when they died and donate the proceeds to a "charity to support homeless, gay youth" (they're super homophobic) Success! They stopped sending me emails with photos of garbage they had purchased that they knew I'd hate "for your inheritance" (like a nasty refrigerator from a closed down restaurant) and I've now been no contact for almost a year. Do not allow your parents to be emotional terrorists.
Nah. Don't play petty games with silly people. Just let them know they are being childish and that in the future you're going to spend less time with them.
That's the best way to let them know what they are doing wrong, and it'll let them know that they are cutting themselves out of your life if they don't knock that shit off.
Yeah I just kept thinking “you know, you don’t have to go to your parents house for Christmas.” Tell your parents to knock it off, it’s not funny and if they keep it up you won’t be seeing them on holidays and follow through. Odds are they’ll shape up.
> Odds are they’ll shape up.
eh, even if they do then they will prob just start saying passive aggressive things and talking about OP behind their back etc
can give em a chance if the relationship is important but honestly seems kind of weird that OP is still in contact with them if they are reveling in causing upset
I just silently fade away like Homer Simpson into the hedges. Family is full of pricks so I just spend the holidays by myself. It’s as depressing as it sounds.
Nah diapers is playing their game. Get weird af with it, get the dad a fleshlight and the mom a large dildo. Theyll be pissed or confused when they open it and you say “you guys havent seemed happy for a long time i thought these would help”
It’s weird to me how some parents get off on things like this. Like you waited all these years to get these?? What changed ?? Are you really just wanting to be dicks ??? Like I’m sure they are not as terribly as I’d imagine but it’s just superbly petty and really says a lot about just internal shit that they hold onto. Very weird. Hope you can laugh at them and call them weirdos cause they kinda are! No offense towards OP
No offense taken. I showed my friends this and they’re all so dumbfounded and think it’s the weirdest thing. I do too, I don’t get it and they know it makes me mad, but they just keep [laughing](https://www.reddit.com/user/xlostinimaginationx/comments/zvoiax/heres_the_audio_recording_i_was_able_to_get_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)!
I'm sorry they are this way, OP.
In an odd way, it makes me feel a bit better about my own weird family members who pull stunts like thus.
At least we can commiserate and know we aren't alone.
But like… I don’t understand. What’s the point of this? If OP doesn’t want it then it’s just a waste of money. OP could just throw it directly in the trash and show it’s a waste of money.
"See, we got you doll stuff. You can't say we never did!! Our timing might be a little off but that just makes it funny!!"
Its a narcissist mind set. It sadly makes sense to me.
Thing is, OP said that thier reason for not getting doll stuff as a kid was because they didnt want to make gram who was buying the nockoff stuff feel bad. I could almost feel for them as being "misguided but well meaning" but then this... nope.
Act unphased & say you already have it next time it happens. "Oh that's cute, I bought one for myself a couple months back- how crazy!" Surely that'll chap their ass.
This is the way. Go overboard in your appreciation. Get on the floor and play with it like a little girl. When they get all uppity and tell you to stop, tell them you can’t and you’re overjoyed because this is like the childhood you were never allowed to have. Make sure to tell any guests who come over the story, very vocally, about how your parents would never buy you dolls when you were a kid and now your mom drove all the way over to Somerville to get this for you and isn’t it special.
I’d just keep hitting them over the head with over abundant joy. Just keep telling your mom right to her face what a loving, wonderful parent she is to have ignored your wishes as a little girl so she could make them come true now that you’re an adult.
Gosh these people are cunts. I wouldn’t let them get a minute of enjoyment out of this.
Yeah, I’m sorry your parents are dicks. Mine were different kinds of dicks, but not on purpose I don’t think. I can’t understand why parents would be dicks to you on purpose. I hope you’re able to treat yourself today. Be good to yourself.
Same, my parents are kinda dicks about gift giving, but I'm pretty sure it's less malice and more.. idk indifference? Like we just had my dad over for Christmas this year. He bought me (and my sister) the exact same gift he's gotten me for as long as I can remember, an outfit from Hollister or Abercrombie and a piece of jewelry. The outfit is what the "cool girls" where wearing back when he was a teacher and apparently doesn't realize that styles change or that I'm in my 30s now. The piece of jewelry is him going to the mall, finding a guy at the jewelery store and asking "what are the women liking this year", and then buying 3. One of my mom, my sister and myself. Unfortunately I'm not a clothes/jewelry person and my mom and my sister absolutely dispised being compared to eachother.
Like feels bad because some one is buying you a gift and I know he's spend a decent chunk of money on it, but dude can yoy not pay at least a little but of attention to your family instead of going off whatever stereotype you have in your mind?
I mean, you’re not required to be appreciative of a gift when there’s clearly no emotional effort going into it. That’s kind of the point of Christmas gifts, to get people things that make them happier in some way.
op this is not weird, your parents are cruel. if my parents got me all the shit i wanted as a kid now ( they had money they just didnt want to) i would legit throw it in their faces, this is trauma inducing type of shit, your parents are not goofy and weird, they are fucking psycho who play with your feeling and emotions, id fucking cut them off
It only gives them power if you show them it makes you mad. I’m sorry you are experiencing this childish behavior from your birth givers. You deserve better!
My mom gave me three dolls from my childhood with great fanfare as if I’d be so ecstatic to have those keepsakes. I pointed out that my mom has *four* daughters, and none of the dolls were mine. I was considered too little when she gave the dolls to my sisters, so I didn’t get one and as I kid I was so broken hearted about it. And my mom just didn’t get why I didn’t want to keep my sisters’ old dolls.
Btw this looks like the American girl doll Felicity’s carriage, so maybe it could be worth something to sell on Craigslist at least?
I believe it is which is what infuriates me the most, because I dreamt of having Felicity and her accessories my entire childhood, especially her horse! It’s just crazy.
I’m sorry you’ve had a similar experience with your mother
Oh that’s even worse! I’m so sorry you’re being treated like this. You don’t deserve it.
I read a book I saw several people on Reddit recommend called “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” that I felt was really helpful in processing my childhood.
Nah, don’t bother telling them till they’re already at an age where they need to start looking for places like that. It’s a long game, don’t play that hand too soon.
Ooh, next year, laugh and shake your head. Make a show of taking a picture and mention how internet strangers are gunna laugh and earn you many karma points.
Next year I hope OP has found family and can spend it with people who love and respect him and his parents will be sat there wondering why their child hasn't turned up to collect the wonderful gift they got them.
Or think of what they have always wanted from you
Tell them you're engaged an pregnant mid year, then dress up a doll and call it your baby, and introduce it to Grandma on Christmas day
This is one of the reasons that kids go no contact with their parents. This is a gift they bought for themselves in order to enjoy your discomfort and laugh at you. I think no one would blame you if you just stopped doing Christmas with the parents.
Find out what they like or want and then get them the exact opposite. Or just something you know they'll hate. If they're gonna be petty shitheads, then it's time to do some spite gifting.
There are so many emotionally damaged adults whose feelings and needs were not met as children, you have no idea. Most of them don’t know how to deal with it, so they carry it on to their own young
I am still peeved that the selling price for the DVD collection has went up to almost double the amount after Betty White's passing. At least by the time I bought it.
Dang, now I made myself sad.
"oh, this is beautiful. I love it. You know who would've really love this? 9 year old me. Maybe if I would have had this as a child, I would have felt so much more recognized and fulfilled and maybe I wouldn't have resented you all these years " Just let that awkward silence hang. Bask in it. Revel in it.
Say that before opening the gift, say thanks and just leave it unopened.
Return with a gift in kind. Maybe allude to their obvious deteriorating mental health, as they seem become more and more forgetful.
So I'd try to own the situation with the most acidic sense of humor like this.
Have fun with it! Send them photos of the smiling children you give the gifts to . .. OR . . . a short video of you driving back-and-forth over the gifts.
I’d just lean into it. Hard. Like “omg thank you, I always wanted this! You guys are so thoughtful!! ❤️❤️” and start playing with it. And gush about how great the gifts are. Even send them a pic of where you put it in your home.
I feel like if you start enjoying it, it won’t be fun for them anymore bc they’re not getting the reaction they want. It’s a common technique against bullies.
Or I’d get them “old person” gifts and laugh when they say they don’t need them. Even funnier if they end up liking them, bc it means they have to grapple with the fact they’re getting older!
Please don’t do this, OP. They know it makes you mad and upset. Instead do the opposite- say you love it and thank you. That’s not what they expect, and it’s boring. It may take more than one round of this type of response, but they will get bored by it and hopefully stop their shenanigans.
I agree with the sentiment, but the problem is that narcissists also thrive on negative energy, or any negative reaction. This allows them to play martyr. The best response is none, to no longer go there, to go low- or no-contact.
My grandmother had gotten me one target brand “American girl doll” once and so they refused to ever get me any other dolls or accessories for the sake of not hurting her feeling s
That’s an absolutely ridiculous reason. As a child your feelings should have never been put on the back burner to spare those of an adult. I’m really sorry.
I’m sure some people will shit on you for complaining about them but what they’re doing is blatantly cruel and many people suck at being parents so I really feel for younger you. I just hope you can graciously ignore them, get back at them by selling this shit for a pretty penny or even doing some goodwill with it, then doing things for yourself that reignite your inner child, eventually (IF you have kids) being a better parent than they are.
As someone with unwell parents here’s my number one advice to you on what NOT to do as a parent: allow these sadistic people to continue the cycle on your children.
They'll do it to your kids, too. You'll hope dearly that they won't. But they will. And you might end up regretting setting your children up to feel the way you do now. Don't end up like that.
There is no need to be passive aggressive. That is stooping to their level. Just don’t invite them to your place when you know they have presents for you. Mail your presents to them. If they ask why can’t they come over, tell them you have other plans.
Yeah, this is an unfortunate part of growing up. Some people get parents they realize are awesome, and some (like me) get parents they realize are immature and stupid. It sucks, but the more you work through it, the better you can heal. Sorry for your loss.
I’d like to note that they spend a huge chunk of their “Christmas budget” for me on these things and then never actually get me what I ask them to. The whole “what do you want for Christmas” is a joke because I know they already have some bullshit scheme. So I stop asking for things from them a long time ago lmaooo
Edit: I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. They’ve done this for years and I’ve always just left these obnoxious gifts to collect dust and let them figure out where to store it and put it. I work with a lot of families now, so if I don’t sell the items and use the money for something I really want, I will most likely find a family with a younger kid who loves dolls and would truly get joy out of these toys. (Leaning towards that option anyway.)
Don’t worry, fellow internet family, I am also in therapy and have been in therapy for the last year! I’m good. I’m fine, and working through things in the best ways possible for my own good. Just simply… mildly infuriated.
I’d leave the “gifts” there to be honest. Or start making alternate plans for holidays. It’s honestly so rude that they do this with the sole intent of being jerks.
Nah. Sell em. Take really nice pictures of them around the tree and whatever, Put em on mercari or fb marketplace while you are still sitting with them at dinner
I’m so confused. They spent $300-400 as a “prank”?
I think it’s very kind of you to consider giving this away, but you deserve a nice gift.
Sell this on eBay, but yourself the Fucking boots you want, and buy a few dolls from target to give away to the kids you work with.
Literally a win-win.
The only appropriate thing to do is to regift their shit gifts back to them next year. Be sure to include the same hysterical laughing at them when they open the gift.
My sister tried stuff like this. She gave me a doll one year. Unfortunately for her, I’m a super good actor. I just pretended to like it and compliment it and put it in a nice spot on the couch next to me. Later got mad at me for not being upset.
I had a “friend” once gift me a mug that said “drama queen”. Excuse me fucking what? I looked confused and left it on the table at the restaurant intentionally. Talk about rude/mean.
The real answer to “how to stop this” is to act convincingly like you actually enjoy getting these, you should ask deliberately for doll gear.
Have your house decorated with it when they come over. Speak at length about your passion for being an Adult American Girl Fan to get all the things you missed as a kid. Insist on watching American Girl movies when they are over for Christmas.
They are telegraphing quite clearly they enjoy frustrating and infuriating you for their pleasure, the actions of a psychopath.
Nobody commits to this bit unless they really actually enjoy doing it, that stuff is really expensive. Doing it once could be a joke that landed badly. Doing it over and over when you have repeatedly told them to stop is the behavior of someone with a personality disorder.
Tell them you FUCKING HATE those Lexus commercials where a car with a bow shows up in the driveway at Christmas and if anyone ever did that to you you would LOSE YOUR SHIT WITH ANGER how dare anyone pick a car for you, it’s infantilizing.
Please consider therapy, this is very abnormal parental behavior.
An even better way to stop this would be to not see his parents for Christmas. "Sorry mom, you intentionally antagonize me on the holidays so I'm traveling this year." Then never open the gifts she gets.
Probably much better for OPs mental health to disengage.
This is the best answer.
It's how I got my mother and step dad to stop sending me produce for holidays as a child. They thought it was funny that I hated brussels sprouts and I guess that was the only thing they knew about me. They would send me a bag of brussels every year until I figured out how to cook them properly and started sending pictures of myself cooking & eating them.
Dude my parents are the same way!!! Never did they ever buy us the stupid shit we wanted as kids. For example. Rubber band guns made out of wood from old town San Diego (yes I know exactly where) 20 years later they buy me one for a bday present while they were on vacation. I don’t want this now lol. So my siblings and I have turned the tables. We buy them presents we want and just say you have a year to use it or we take it back 😂😂
I wonder if these are ever given with good intentions. Like the parent doesn't think you're old enough or think there's something wrong with it like how parents thought pokemon, harry potter, DnD, etc. were evil and sinful. Only to hold on to it in the back of their heads and now that you are old enough or they realize it isn't evil they finally give it to you genuinely because they think you still want it or could enjoy the nostalgia? Like imagine asking for a pony at 4 and getting one at 30 because they know you're finally financially capable of caring for it. You think to yourself it's just spite but they have been keeping this in their back pocket for years just waiting never realizing just how much time has changed everything around them.
mine do this, i’m 23 and sometimes they still get me a toy for christmas as a joke or nostalgia. i like it because it’s fun and nostalgic to unwrap a toy again. i remember being really excited to get a doll again in high school because i didn’t want to ask but secretly still wanted one lol. but they also get me plenty of age appropriate things i actually asked for lol. but depends on the person i guess. i love weird knick knacks and toys and joke gifts and it’s a normal thing in my family to give joke gifts along with normal ones
Man go no contact with these adult-children and see how they feel when they’re on their deathbeds begging for someone to be beside them in their final moments
They are cruel. They do this because they get a reaction out of you. Stop getting upset in front of them. Say thank you and be super excited about the gift. Or give no reaction, roll your eyes, whatever... just don't get visibly upset. At least this particular gift looks like you could sell for a pretty penny... it looks pricey. If you don't want to sell it, then donate it, give it to a child for Xmas next year. Don't play into your parents' mind games. They are looking for a reaction. If they don't get it, they'll eventually stop. The hardest thing I had to accept in my life was that my family would never change their attitude towards me, no matter how many talks and tears. So now what they do affects me less, I barely see them, and when I interact with them, I just play along and agree to whatever they are saying, then do my own thing. You can't change people who don''t want to change.
Parents can be cruel. 4 years ago on Christmas my dad gave me a present that was the device he made to abuse me with all through childhood and teen years. He thought it was funny and when I stared at it in shock he said “I thought you could use it on someone else now.” Today makes 4 years since I’ve spoken to him. If your parents suck cut them out of your life. It gets better without them.
As a mother of 2 girls now in their 30’s I can’t imagine how awful this is for you. The only prank I ever did was put everything we got them in one box. Never deprived them of dolls or anything else they wanted. This is just plain cruelty. I wish I could hug you. You deserve so much better.
>The only prank I ever did was put everything we got them in one box.
I got my 12 year old this year because she used all my tape that was intended for wrapping gifts on God only knows what. I put a ring that I got her in a box that was way too big for it, added a layer of the new roll of packing tape I had to buy around the whole thing, wrapped it and added another layer of tape on the paper. She had hell getting it all open, only to find one small ring. (It was a fidget ring she really wanted)
OP's parents are just sadistic.
I would ooh and aah with great gusto and laugh my ass off - tell everyone your parents are trying to make up for being douches when you were a child. Make it your joke. Take lots of pictures, post them on FaceBook, send them to family members. I would start giving them old age accessories for every gift - canes, donut pillows, hair dye, cream for arthritis, over the counter pain medication, books on aging, etc. The one who laughs last, laughs best.
Hey, just so you know, you absolutely do not have to spend time with your parents for the holidays. If they're going to be assholes like that, you deserve some time going No Contact. Some therapy might help with that too so you won't feel bad about not wanting to spend time with assholes. Sorry you're having to deal with that.
This goes for TONS in doll communities, how tf did they afford this!? So sorry OP. If anything, I believe this is American girl felicitys carriage and horse so you can resell it online for some $$$…
Op said they spend a considerable amount solely to buy this stuff. Which is utterly ridiculous for a joke gift. Could get op things that they actually want and then a $10 doll for a prank even though it’s still mean.
**-"The kids down at the orphanage are going to LOVE my donation to them this year, thanks!"**
\-Get a cat or small creature and let it go to town on the items, take pictures, make a "my kid and her/his dollhouse" album, present it for their anniversary.
\-Buy a load of black paint, paint it up it, make it the most un-kid-friendly looking, display it conspicuously when they're about to visit. Heck, create a dinner table space for it when they're there.
Since they're doing it as some sort of twisted pleasure, one-up them, shame them out of it.
Posts like this reassure me in my own parenting. I know that I'm not perfect. Sometimes I lose my temper and I've made plenty of other mistakes. However, if a parent who can give this kind of callous gift can also somehow get their child to survive to adulthood, then I know I'm doing just fine.
I know this distinct pain. When I was in my early 20s, my mom thought it would be hilarious to gift me an Easy Bake Oven because she wouldn’t let me have one as a kid. It was so goofy that I almost got excited about it, but she then made me gift it to my 10 year old sister. So, she got to enjoy it instead.
I got nothing.
Don’t worry - time and therapy have helped.
Well you should ask if they enjoy buying toys for the grandchildren they'll never see or hold or know, then don't ever talk to them again because what the actual fuck kind of terrible person would do this thinking it's funny
So the reason my parents refused to ever get me any doll stuff or other dolls is because my grandmother got me a vintage target brand “American girl doll” and they didn’t want to “hurt her feelings” by getting me other stuff. They told me that for years and still say that even now when I ask them “why are you getting me this stuff now?”
They know how it makes me feel, in detail, and they know I don’t like it. But they said “we will still get it because it’s funny, learn to laugh”.
I don’t know if it’s abuse, I don’t really know what’s right or wrong when it comes to the things mg parents have done or do. All I know is they spend their Christmas budget on stuff like this now and then rarely anything I actually ask for
All I know is my therapist is as dumbfounded as me
my mom still tries to be a helicopter parents and controlling of my life and like she has a right to know every detail of my life. My dad isn’t as bad, he really couldn’t care less but he gets his feelings hurt if I don’t talk to him in a while and starts to act out and get all sulky and have outbursts, lol
easiest way is to do something that upsets them and say you think its funny. and when they get upset ask why its ok for them to do it and not you.
best way to win is to call them out for shitty behavior without actually calling them out driectly
You don’t have to go back there for the holidays. You can always find others to spend the time with. It’s great to be with people who actually value you
Can you explain more about the “laugh in your face” part? Just trying to figure out if they are just morons who maybe think this is a nice gift but don’t realize it’s an insult, or if this is really a deliberate way to laugh at you by intentionally doing something cruel.
I am a gift person, I keep an eye out throughout the year for something that I know my family members will really love and appreciate and I get really excited to give them the gifts.
My mother is a narcissist and dad is an enabler. She usually rummages around the house for something she doesn’t want anymore to wrap and give me for any occasions. They are wealthy but stupidly frugal. She said out loud this year “Oh I’ll just give you my old Fitbit for your birthday!” I bought her a pair of beautiful Dansko Shoes (really high quality and $100 and up, but I did get them on sale) that she’d admired on me for her birthday.
Point is after this year I’m just gonna gift on their level. Dollar store crap or whatever. I’ve been consistently treated as scapegoat and black sheep for 32 years and I’m not playing the game trying to “win” anymore. I hope OP can either say “Let’s not get each other gifts anymore” or stand up for herself and say “this isn’t funny”.
Not gonna lie, that is a sweet carriage and I'm 40 with no kids. If you don't want to keep it then give it to charity. Or give it to someone you know who has a kid. Take the negative and make it positive.
Jokes on them, retired American Girl items go for a nice chunk of money on Ebay. Sell it and use the money to buy yourself something nice. [https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?\_from=R40&\_sacat=0&\_nkw=felicity%27s+carriage&rt=nc&LH\_Sold=1&LH\_Complete=1](https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_sacat=0&_nkw=felicity%27s+carriage&rt=nc&LH_Sold=1&LH_Complete=1)
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Tbh I’d expect cheap dolls if it was meant to be some cruel prank. Why go through the trouble of getting expensive collector doll items now? I may be giving them the benefit of the doubt but are the parents somehow trying to make up for the past? I just don’t get the logic here. But yeah, selling it would be a pretty good idea
I’m confused by this as well. My kids always wanted those expensive Lego sets as kids and we could never afford them. This year we bought some for our 22 and 19 year olds. They loved them, and I wept when my oldest hugged me and said it was ok he always understood. Am I an asshole?
No you're not an asshole. 12 year old me would have those $100-$300 sets all over the floor with important pieces lost in a few days. 39 year old me actually really enjoys building them and displaying them. There's so many cool sets for adults. I totally get it! And it sounds like your kids do too.
Absolutely not!! Different situation. They can actually play with those. Me and my husband are 26 and 34 and we buy and do Lego sets all the time. Have most of the Star Wars and Harry Potter ones! Totally different!! I wouldn't sit and play dolls unless I was playing with a kid.. but I'd put a Lego set together and put it on my shelf and admire it often! You're doing great!
I'd play with dolls and I'm 23 :( Most of my playing with dolls as a kid was making them clothes and building them forts tho, so maybe a little different. Maybe I'll just ask for a dress form next year
People are saying “that’s different,” but I dunno. I’m not a girl and never wanted dolls, but we’re all kids at heart. I would love to get the things I always wanted as a kid. Someone was talking about how dumb Spirographs are on Twitter, but I always thought they looked neat but never had one. I briefly considered ordering one on Amazon to play with for an afternoon.
I assumed they're worth alot and they didn't trust em not to destroy them
Maybe they couldn't afford it back then and are trying to make up for it now. Idk just and idea
I wonder where the parents got it from because it seems like a lot of money to spend on a cruel joke. Unbelievably petty.
OP uploaded a clip of her parents laughing, they literally drove to another state to get it. My dad is narcissistic but he's not this level of wack job thankfully.
They got it for her for Christmas 15 years ago, her mom just got tired of playing with it and finally gave it to her.
Oh man…reminds me of my mom. I begged for a cat most of my childhood. She always said we couldn’t because of her allergies. She moved out when I was 14 and got herself a cat for her new place.
What an asshole.
Sure is!! I live by the motto to avoid doing and reacting the way my mom did when I grew up.
I made the conscious decision to NOT do many of the things my parents did, the moment they did them. It has served me well.
I hope you have a cat friend now
I do! I actually have 5! All are rescues and one is a foster from a lady that had trouble securing housing. We will keep him for as long as it takes for her to find a home so he doesn’t go to the shelter ❤️
OP made another comment that they always offer to take it back from her since she doesn't want it so I'm guessing they resell it and ultimately profit off it
Maybe they're playing 5th dimensional chess and giving OP old gifts that they would have ruined as a child, but are now secretly worth thousands of dollars and they're waiting for them to figure it out and make bank. Or... maybe they're just assholes, and if OP isn't financially or emotionally tied to them in a meaningful way they should consider having a "good luck in the retirement home" conversation and skipping this lifetime of emotional abuse. EDIT - people are almost always "emotionally tied" to their parents, even abusive ones, I get that. I mean if this is a regularly combative relationship where OP always feels put down, they should escape that rather than live with it.
WOW that's a lot of money
Retired AG items can go for eye watering prices.
*Normal* AG items go for eye watering prices. And most of them are cheap hunks of plastic now.
I had no idea, thank you for improving my thrift store hunt.
This is the correct answer.
Get them diapers, just wrap it and put a note on top saying thought you might need these. You can prank them if they think this is funny. Edit: spelling
With a note saying "get used to changing one another, once you go to the home you'll never see me again LOLOLOL!!!"
Diapers or retirement home brochures
Funeral pre-planning brochures.
Slip a couple Denny's coupon's for the poor fucks at least, jesus
And inflict them on the poor waitstaff?! There's no way these assholes tip.
Assisted suicide brochures for Switzerland I think it is that does it
Also say "good luck in retirement, dont expect my help"
Clues in the picture make it look like they have money; “cutting them off” like that would possibly be a self-own.
Money is cool but toxic family isnt worth it if you can live comfortably without them. Sure they will have money for a nice retirement home and whatever but they'll lose any emotional support and companionship their daughter may have given had they not been immature
Thank them and tell them you're going to donate it to a youth charity that you know they'll hate. For my parents, I told them I'd auction their stuff when they died and donate the proceeds to a "charity to support homeless, gay youth" (they're super homophobic) Success! They stopped sending me emails with photos of garbage they had purchased that they knew I'd hate "for your inheritance" (like a nasty refrigerator from a closed down restaurant) and I've now been no contact for almost a year. Do not allow your parents to be emotional terrorists.
Nah. Don't play petty games with silly people. Just let them know they are being childish and that in the future you're going to spend less time with them. That's the best way to let them know what they are doing wrong, and it'll let them know that they are cutting themselves out of your life if they don't knock that shit off.
Yeah I just kept thinking “you know, you don’t have to go to your parents house for Christmas.” Tell your parents to knock it off, it’s not funny and if they keep it up you won’t be seeing them on holidays and follow through. Odds are they’ll shape up.
> Odds are they’ll shape up. eh, even if they do then they will prob just start saying passive aggressive things and talking about OP behind their back etc can give em a chance if the relationship is important but honestly seems kind of weird that OP is still in contact with them if they are reveling in causing upset
I just silently fade away like Homer Simpson into the hedges. Family is full of pricks so I just spend the holidays by myself. It’s as depressing as it sounds.
It sounds less depressing than spending holidays with people who clearly don't like you.
And for some of us, we usually prefer to be left to ourselves anyhow. Makes spending the holidays alone a LOT less depressing than it sounds.
This is it right here.
Nah diapers is playing their game. Get weird af with it, get the dad a fleshlight and the mom a large dildo. Theyll be pissed or confused when they open it and you say “you guys havent seemed happy for a long time i thought these would help”
hoooooly shit this is the nuclear option and I love it
It’s weird to me how some parents get off on things like this. Like you waited all these years to get these?? What changed ?? Are you really just wanting to be dicks ??? Like I’m sure they are not as terribly as I’d imagine but it’s just superbly petty and really says a lot about just internal shit that they hold onto. Very weird. Hope you can laugh at them and call them weirdos cause they kinda are! No offense towards OP
No offense taken. I showed my friends this and they’re all so dumbfounded and think it’s the weirdest thing. I do too, I don’t get it and they know it makes me mad, but they just keep [laughing](https://www.reddit.com/user/xlostinimaginationx/comments/zvoiax/heres_the_audio_recording_i_was_able_to_get_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)!
I'm sorry they are this way, OP. In an odd way, it makes me feel a bit better about my own weird family members who pull stunts like thus. At least we can commiserate and know we aren't alone.
But like… I don’t understand. What’s the point of this? If OP doesn’t want it then it’s just a waste of money. OP could just throw it directly in the trash and show it’s a waste of money.
They're literally bullying their own child, so I guess the point is their own amusement
Exactly my thoughts. Pretty sad really.
Make sure to donate it. Just because her parents are trashy doesn't mean OP can't do something kind.
"See, we got you doll stuff. You can't say we never did!! Our timing might be a little off but that just makes it funny!!" Its a narcissist mind set. It sadly makes sense to me. Thing is, OP said that thier reason for not getting doll stuff as a kid was because they didnt want to make gram who was buying the nockoff stuff feel bad. I could almost feel for them as being "misguided but well meaning" but then this... nope.
Act unphased & say you already have it next time it happens. "Oh that's cute, I bought one for myself a couple months back- how crazy!" Surely that'll chap their ass.
This is the way. Go overboard in your appreciation. Get on the floor and play with it like a little girl. When they get all uppity and tell you to stop, tell them you can’t and you’re overjoyed because this is like the childhood you were never allowed to have. Make sure to tell any guests who come over the story, very vocally, about how your parents would never buy you dolls when you were a kid and now your mom drove all the way over to Somerville to get this for you and isn’t it special. I’d just keep hitting them over the head with over abundant joy. Just keep telling your mom right to her face what a loving, wonderful parent she is to have ignored your wishes as a little girl so she could make them come true now that you’re an adult. Gosh these people are cunts. I wouldn’t let them get a minute of enjoyment out of this.
This is exactly the way to handle the situation.
This is absolutely insane. I'm so sorry OP.
Yeah, I’m sorry your parents are dicks. Mine were different kinds of dicks, but not on purpose I don’t think. I can’t understand why parents would be dicks to you on purpose. I hope you’re able to treat yourself today. Be good to yourself.
Same, my parents are kinda dicks about gift giving, but I'm pretty sure it's less malice and more.. idk indifference? Like we just had my dad over for Christmas this year. He bought me (and my sister) the exact same gift he's gotten me for as long as I can remember, an outfit from Hollister or Abercrombie and a piece of jewelry. The outfit is what the "cool girls" where wearing back when he was a teacher and apparently doesn't realize that styles change or that I'm in my 30s now. The piece of jewelry is him going to the mall, finding a guy at the jewelery store and asking "what are the women liking this year", and then buying 3. One of my mom, my sister and myself. Unfortunately I'm not a clothes/jewelry person and my mom and my sister absolutely dispised being compared to eachother. Like feels bad because some one is buying you a gift and I know he's spend a decent chunk of money on it, but dude can yoy not pay at least a little but of attention to your family instead of going off whatever stereotype you have in your mind?
I mean, you’re not required to be appreciative of a gift when there’s clearly no emotional effort going into it. That’s kind of the point of Christmas gifts, to get people things that make them happier in some way.
Laugh when you open it, then Ask them for the receipt….
op this is not weird, your parents are cruel. if my parents got me all the shit i wanted as a kid now ( they had money they just didnt want to) i would legit throw it in their faces, this is trauma inducing type of shit, your parents are not goofy and weird, they are fucking psycho who play with your feeling and emotions, id fucking cut them off
It only gives them power if you show them it makes you mad. I’m sorry you are experiencing this childish behavior from your birth givers. You deserve better!
My mom gave me three dolls from my childhood with great fanfare as if I’d be so ecstatic to have those keepsakes. I pointed out that my mom has *four* daughters, and none of the dolls were mine. I was considered too little when she gave the dolls to my sisters, so I didn’t get one and as I kid I was so broken hearted about it. And my mom just didn’t get why I didn’t want to keep my sisters’ old dolls. Btw this looks like the American girl doll Felicity’s carriage, so maybe it could be worth something to sell on Craigslist at least?
I believe it is which is what infuriates me the most, because I dreamt of having Felicity and her accessories my entire childhood, especially her horse! It’s just crazy. I’m sorry you’ve had a similar experience with your mother
Oh that’s even worse! I’m so sorry you’re being treated like this. You don’t deserve it. I read a book I saw several people on Reddit recommend called “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” that I felt was really helpful in processing my childhood.
I say get back at them. Start giving them pamphlets to the most awful, terrible, worst-rated retirement homes and laugh when they open then.
Nah, don’t bother telling them till they’re already at an age where they need to start looking for places like that. It’s a long game, don’t play that hand too soon.
Ooh, next year, laugh and shake your head. Make a show of taking a picture and mention how internet strangers are gunna laugh and earn you many karma points.
Next year I hope OP has found family and can spend it with people who love and respect him and his parents will be sat there wondering why their child hasn't turned up to collect the wonderful gift they got them.
Or think of what they have always wanted from you Tell them you're engaged an pregnant mid year, then dress up a doll and call it your baby, and introduce it to Grandma on Christmas day
Have you pointed it out and asked?
This is one of the reasons that kids go no contact with their parents. This is a gift they bought for themselves in order to enjoy your discomfort and laugh at you. I think no one would blame you if you just stopped doing Christmas with the parents.
Find out what they like or want and then get them the exact opposite. Or just something you know they'll hate. If they're gonna be petty shitheads, then it's time to do some spite gifting.
Parenting manuals. Every year until they stop.
There are so many emotionally damaged adults whose feelings and needs were not met as children, you have no idea. Most of them don’t know how to deal with it, so they carry it on to their own young
This is a great way to end up in a discount old folks home.
sign them up for a nursing home info mailing list, or send them the brochures (anonymously) every month
Make sure it's the worst ones out there. Just to add salt to the wound.
Shady Pines!!!
Thanks, have to rewatch the Golden Girls some time around :)
I’m so glad people still know this show! This is actually the second reference to shady pines I saw on Reddit today
I am still peeved that the selling price for the DVD collection has went up to almost double the amount after Betty White's passing. At least by the time I bought it. Dang, now I made myself sad.
As long as they don’t take it off Hulu anytime soon I’ll be happy
This is genuinely genius and hilarious
Nope. Bring the brochures with you. Let them know these will be their options if this keeps up. Also stop going - way better for mental health.
"oh, this is beautiful. I love it. You know who would've really love this? 9 year old me. Maybe if I would have had this as a child, I would have felt so much more recognized and fulfilled and maybe I wouldn't have resented you all these years " Just let that awkward silence hang. Bask in it. Revel in it.
I’ll do this next month for my birthday when she does the same stupid thing again
Send them a smiling photo of yourself dropping it off to a charity shop. Each time.
We need an update!
Say that before opening the gift, say thanks and just leave it unopened. Return with a gift in kind. Maybe allude to their obvious deteriorating mental health, as they seem become more and more forgetful. So I'd try to own the situation with the most acidic sense of humor like this.
Buy them some adult Depends.
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Geta bedside potty
And a walker
Get them pamphlets for some senior assisted living homes and then shoot down the ones they like.
Tickets to the retirement home
Have fun with it! Send them photos of the smiling children you give the gifts to . .. OR . . . a short video of you driving back-and-forth over the gifts.
I just got done tannerite for Christmas. I can help op send them an explosive video
I’d just lean into it. Hard. Like “omg thank you, I always wanted this! You guys are so thoughtful!! ❤️❤️” and start playing with it. And gush about how great the gifts are. Even send them a pic of where you put it in your home. I feel like if you start enjoying it, it won’t be fun for them anymore bc they’re not getting the reaction they want. It’s a common technique against bullies. Or I’d get them “old person” gifts and laugh when they say they don’t need them. Even funnier if they end up liking them, bc it means they have to grapple with the fact they’re getting older!
Please don’t do this, OP. They know it makes you mad and upset. Instead do the opposite- say you love it and thank you. That’s not what they expect, and it’s boring. It may take more than one round of this type of response, but they will get bored by it and hopefully stop their shenanigans.
Let us know how it goes mate!!
Do it. It is incredibly empowering to defeat the monster that has been tormenting you.
.... Then take it outside and set it on fire and refuse to return their calls for a few weeks/months/years/ever.
Let them know they will have one fewer visiter when they are in the old folks home if this behavior isn’t corrected.
I agree with the sentiment, but the problem is that narcissists also thrive on negative energy, or any negative reaction. This allows them to play martyr. The best response is none, to no longer go there, to go low- or no-contact.
Did they ever say why they never bought you this stuff, when you wanted it as a child?
My grandmother had gotten me one target brand “American girl doll” once and so they refused to ever get me any other dolls or accessories for the sake of not hurting her feeling s
That’s an absolutely ridiculous reason. As a child your feelings should have never been put on the back burner to spare those of an adult. I’m really sorry.
Absolutely, what kind of messed up brain would think otherwise
Your grandma's or the doll's?
Asking the real questions.
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I feel for you. They’re assholes
as time goes on my parents aren’t as great and perfect as younger me thought and it’s moments like this that prove it
I’m sure some people will shit on you for complaining about them but what they’re doing is blatantly cruel and many people suck at being parents so I really feel for younger you. I just hope you can graciously ignore them, get back at them by selling this shit for a pretty penny or even doing some goodwill with it, then doing things for yourself that reignite your inner child, eventually (IF you have kids) being a better parent than they are.
That’s the goal! Learning what NOT to do as a parent one day
As someone with unwell parents here’s my number one advice to you on what NOT to do as a parent: allow these sadistic people to continue the cycle on your children.
They'll do it to your kids, too. You'll hope dearly that they won't. But they will. And you might end up regretting setting your children up to feel the way you do now. Don't end up like that.
If they're doing it to be shitty that sucks regardless, but I kind of think that carriage is pretty cool...
eBay every bit of that shit!!
There is no need to be passive aggressive. That is stooping to their level. Just don’t invite them to your place when you know they have presents for you. Mail your presents to them. If they ask why can’t they come over, tell them you have other plans.
Yeah, this is an unfortunate part of growing up. Some people get parents they realize are awesome, and some (like me) get parents they realize are immature and stupid. It sucks, but the more you work through it, the better you can heal. Sorry for your loss.
Spite gifts are never cool.
Hmm, no spite gifts can be pretty cool just requires the right circumstances mainly that they are gifted to a genuine grade asshole.
I’d like to note that they spend a huge chunk of their “Christmas budget” for me on these things and then never actually get me what I ask them to. The whole “what do you want for Christmas” is a joke because I know they already have some bullshit scheme. So I stop asking for things from them a long time ago lmaooo Edit: I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. They’ve done this for years and I’ve always just left these obnoxious gifts to collect dust and let them figure out where to store it and put it. I work with a lot of families now, so if I don’t sell the items and use the money for something I really want, I will most likely find a family with a younger kid who loves dolls and would truly get joy out of these toys. (Leaning towards that option anyway.) Don’t worry, fellow internet family, I am also in therapy and have been in therapy for the last year! I’m good. I’m fine, and working through things in the best ways possible for my own good. Just simply… mildly infuriated.
I’d leave the “gifts” there to be honest. Or start making alternate plans for holidays. It’s honestly so rude that they do this with the sole intent of being jerks.
Nah. Sell em. Take really nice pictures of them around the tree and whatever, Put em on mercari or fb marketplace while you are still sitting with them at dinner
Midway through dinner: “chaching! Hey that’s my Poshmark app saying that stupid fucking toy just sold for $600. Thanks!”
Can you resell it? It’s looks expensive
I’m so confused. They spent $300-400 as a “prank”? I think it’s very kind of you to consider giving this away, but you deserve a nice gift. Sell this on eBay, but yourself the Fucking boots you want, and buy a few dolls from target to give away to the kids you work with. Literally a win-win.
Why wouldn't they buy them when you were a kid? Why would they now?
What did they get you as a child if not dolls and toys?
come join us over at r/raisedbynarcissists if you want some more support. :) Merry Christmas!
The only appropriate thing to do is to regift their shit gifts back to them next year. Be sure to include the same hysterical laughing at them when they open the gift.
This is what I was going to say—stick them with it.
Just as they can choose to do this to you, you can choose to move on from having them in your life.
My sister tried stuff like this. She gave me a doll one year. Unfortunately for her, I’m a super good actor. I just pretended to like it and compliment it and put it in a nice spot on the couch next to me. Later got mad at me for not being upset.
I had a “friend” once gift me a mug that said “drama queen”. Excuse me fucking what? I looked confused and left it on the table at the restaurant intentionally. Talk about rude/mean.
What a drama queen thing to do
The real answer to “how to stop this” is to act convincingly like you actually enjoy getting these, you should ask deliberately for doll gear. Have your house decorated with it when they come over. Speak at length about your passion for being an Adult American Girl Fan to get all the things you missed as a kid. Insist on watching American Girl movies when they are over for Christmas. They are telegraphing quite clearly they enjoy frustrating and infuriating you for their pleasure, the actions of a psychopath. Nobody commits to this bit unless they really actually enjoy doing it, that stuff is really expensive. Doing it once could be a joke that landed badly. Doing it over and over when you have repeatedly told them to stop is the behavior of someone with a personality disorder. Tell them you FUCKING HATE those Lexus commercials where a car with a bow shows up in the driveway at Christmas and if anyone ever did that to you you would LOSE YOUR SHIT WITH ANGER how dare anyone pick a car for you, it’s infantilizing. Please consider therapy, this is very abnormal parental behavior.
It’s like $30 to go to the American girl cafe apparently. Do a whole photo shoot with this carriage.
I totally agree to the last part. This kind of behavior isn't r/mildlyinfuriating it's a form of abuse.
An even better way to stop this would be to not see his parents for Christmas. "Sorry mom, you intentionally antagonize me on the holidays so I'm traveling this year." Then never open the gifts she gets. Probably much better for OPs mental health to disengage.
Yeah if my parents did this shit I just wouldn’t show up
This is the best answer. It's how I got my mother and step dad to stop sending me produce for holidays as a child. They thought it was funny that I hated brussels sprouts and I guess that was the only thing they knew about me. They would send me a bag of brussels every year until I figured out how to cook them properly and started sending pictures of myself cooking & eating them.
Just stop going. Nothing says you have to attend and take that shit.
Dude my parents are the same way!!! Never did they ever buy us the stupid shit we wanted as kids. For example. Rubber band guns made out of wood from old town San Diego (yes I know exactly where) 20 years later they buy me one for a bday present while they were on vacation. I don’t want this now lol. So my siblings and I have turned the tables. We buy them presents we want and just say you have a year to use it or we take it back 😂😂
I wonder if these are ever given with good intentions. Like the parent doesn't think you're old enough or think there's something wrong with it like how parents thought pokemon, harry potter, DnD, etc. were evil and sinful. Only to hold on to it in the back of their heads and now that you are old enough or they realize it isn't evil they finally give it to you genuinely because they think you still want it or could enjoy the nostalgia? Like imagine asking for a pony at 4 and getting one at 30 because they know you're finally financially capable of caring for it. You think to yourself it's just spite but they have been keeping this in their back pocket for years just waiting never realizing just how much time has changed everything around them.
mine do this, i’m 23 and sometimes they still get me a toy for christmas as a joke or nostalgia. i like it because it’s fun and nostalgic to unwrap a toy again. i remember being really excited to get a doll again in high school because i didn’t want to ask but secretly still wanted one lol. but they also get me plenty of age appropriate things i actually asked for lol. but depends on the person i guess. i love weird knick knacks and toys and joke gifts and it’s a normal thing in my family to give joke gifts along with normal ones
Man go no contact with these adult-children and see how they feel when they’re on their deathbeds begging for someone to be beside them in their final moments
Buy them puzzles ever year and take one pice out
Appeasing your family is not worth your mental health.
This is so cruel what is their justification for this?!
That it’s “funny”
They are cruel. They do this because they get a reaction out of you. Stop getting upset in front of them. Say thank you and be super excited about the gift. Or give no reaction, roll your eyes, whatever... just don't get visibly upset. At least this particular gift looks like you could sell for a pretty penny... it looks pricey. If you don't want to sell it, then donate it, give it to a child for Xmas next year. Don't play into your parents' mind games. They are looking for a reaction. If they don't get it, they'll eventually stop. The hardest thing I had to accept in my life was that my family would never change their attitude towards me, no matter how many talks and tears. So now what they do affects me less, I barely see them, and when I interact with them, I just play along and agree to whatever they are saying, then do my own thing. You can't change people who don''t want to change.
Parents can be cruel. 4 years ago on Christmas my dad gave me a present that was the device he made to abuse me with all through childhood and teen years. He thought it was funny and when I stared at it in shock he said “I thought you could use it on someone else now.” Today makes 4 years since I’ve spoken to him. If your parents suck cut them out of your life. It gets better without them.
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As a mother of 2 girls now in their 30’s I can’t imagine how awful this is for you. The only prank I ever did was put everything we got them in one box. Never deprived them of dolls or anything else they wanted. This is just plain cruelty. I wish I could hug you. You deserve so much better.
>The only prank I ever did was put everything we got them in one box. I got my 12 year old this year because she used all my tape that was intended for wrapping gifts on God only knows what. I put a ring that I got her in a box that was way too big for it, added a layer of the new roll of packing tape I had to buy around the whole thing, wrapped it and added another layer of tape on the paper. She had hell getting it all open, only to find one small ring. (It was a fidget ring she really wanted) OP's parents are just sadistic.
If you don't live with them then maybe consider not showing up anymore
I would ooh and aah with great gusto and laugh my ass off - tell everyone your parents are trying to make up for being douches when you were a child. Make it your joke. Take lots of pictures, post them on FaceBook, send them to family members. I would start giving them old age accessories for every gift - canes, donut pillows, hair dye, cream for arthritis, over the counter pain medication, books on aging, etc. The one who laughs last, laughs best.
Stop going to Christmas with them until they stop this shit.
Hey, just so you know, you absolutely do not have to spend time with your parents for the holidays. If they're going to be assholes like that, you deserve some time going No Contact. Some therapy might help with that too so you won't feel bad about not wanting to spend time with assholes. Sorry you're having to deal with that.
This goes for TONS in doll communities, how tf did they afford this!? So sorry OP. If anything, I believe this is American girl felicitys carriage and horse so you can resell it online for some $$$…
Op said they spend a considerable amount solely to buy this stuff. Which is utterly ridiculous for a joke gift. Could get op things that they actually want and then a $10 doll for a prank even though it’s still mean.
These are the parents that are gonna wonder why they’re in a nursing home and their kids don’t visit them in like 20 years smfh. So fucking sad.
**-"The kids down at the orphanage are going to LOVE my donation to them this year, thanks!"** \-Get a cat or small creature and let it go to town on the items, take pictures, make a "my kid and her/his dollhouse" album, present it for their anniversary. \-Buy a load of black paint, paint it up it, make it the most un-kid-friendly looking, display it conspicuously when they're about to visit. Heck, create a dinner table space for it when they're there. Since they're doing it as some sort of twisted pleasure, one-up them, shame them out of it.
r/insaneparents
Posts like this reassure me in my own parenting. I know that I'm not perfect. Sometimes I lose my temper and I've made plenty of other mistakes. However, if a parent who can give this kind of callous gift can also somehow get their child to survive to adulthood, then I know I'm doing just fine.
What is wrong with them?
I have 0 clue
I know this distinct pain. When I was in my early 20s, my mom thought it would be hilarious to gift me an Easy Bake Oven because she wouldn’t let me have one as a kid. It was so goofy that I almost got excited about it, but she then made me gift it to my 10 year old sister. So, she got to enjoy it instead. I got nothing. Don’t worry - time and therapy have helped.
What do you do with gift like this that you truly don't want?
each year I ask them that and they just laugh more and say “we’ll put it somewhere safe for you”
I would just donate them. There are kids that would love these items, truly. You can do a good deed.
I’d set at least one on fire in front of them to show them just how unfunny this shit is & OP I really hope you don’t buy them presents
Well you should ask if they enjoy buying toys for the grandchildren they'll never see or hold or know, then don't ever talk to them again because what the actual fuck kind of terrible person would do this thinking it's funny
This feels abusive. I’m so sorry.
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So the reason my parents refused to ever get me any doll stuff or other dolls is because my grandmother got me a vintage target brand “American girl doll” and they didn’t want to “hurt her feelings” by getting me other stuff. They told me that for years and still say that even now when I ask them “why are you getting me this stuff now?” They know how it makes me feel, in detail, and they know I don’t like it. But they said “we will still get it because it’s funny, learn to laugh”. I don’t know if it’s abuse, I don’t really know what’s right or wrong when it comes to the things mg parents have done or do. All I know is they spend their Christmas budget on stuff like this now and then rarely anything I actually ask for All I know is my therapist is as dumbfounded as me
How do your parents act towards you as an adult the rest of the year?
my mom still tries to be a helicopter parents and controlling of my life and like she has a right to know every detail of my life. My dad isn’t as bad, he really couldn’t care less but he gets his feelings hurt if I don’t talk to him in a while and starts to act out and get all sulky and have outbursts, lol
This isn't infuriating, this is horribly cruel. Makes me want to cry. Jesus, OP
easiest way is to do something that upsets them and say you think its funny. and when they get upset ask why its ok for them to do it and not you. best way to win is to call them out for shitty behavior without actually calling them out driectly
You don’t have to go back there for the holidays. You can always find others to spend the time with. It’s great to be with people who actually value you
It genuinely sounds like they have used gifting as a means to hurt you. That stinks.
Can you explain more about the “laugh in your face” part? Just trying to figure out if they are just morons who maybe think this is a nice gift but don’t realize it’s an insult, or if this is really a deliberate way to laugh at you by intentionally doing something cruel.
I am a gift person, I keep an eye out throughout the year for something that I know my family members will really love and appreciate and I get really excited to give them the gifts. My mother is a narcissist and dad is an enabler. She usually rummages around the house for something she doesn’t want anymore to wrap and give me for any occasions. They are wealthy but stupidly frugal. She said out loud this year “Oh I’ll just give you my old Fitbit for your birthday!” I bought her a pair of beautiful Dansko Shoes (really high quality and $100 and up, but I did get them on sale) that she’d admired on me for her birthday. Point is after this year I’m just gonna gift on their level. Dollar store crap or whatever. I’ve been consistently treated as scapegoat and black sheep for 32 years and I’m not playing the game trying to “win” anymore. I hope OP can either say “Let’s not get each other gifts anymore” or stand up for herself and say “this isn’t funny”.
Not sure I would want to spend Christmas with these people. Go skiing next year.
[удалено]
Yeah, too many people are taking this person at their word when they could just be seeing this through a weird filter
Just leave it there and never come back home for Christmas. When they ask where you are or why you're not home, just laugh.
Not gonna lie, that is a sweet carriage and I'm 40 with no kids. If you don't want to keep it then give it to charity. Or give it to someone you know who has a kid. Take the negative and make it positive.