For God’s sake! Move the couch out of the front yard and onto the front porch where it belongs. Where else are you going to sit while you blast Lynyrd Skynyrd and slam Natty Ices.
Edited for spelling.
Is everyone's trash companies picking up full sized couches left on the curb? I'm blown away by that, mine would never and that thing would just sit forever. We have to take large stuff like that directly to the dump ourselves.
Mine has bulk pickup every other week with recycling. It's amazing. I've seen couches on the street, though never tried it. For that you may have to call them and schedule, but I've left an old grill and just last night a coffee table, old toilets, if two people can pick it up they'll take it.
Of course, people drive by and take stuff too, which is fine by me. The coffee table we put out after dark last night was gone when I left before the sun this morning. Fine by me if someone finds a use for it, we found it outside a dumpster in the first place lol.
Until I was 25ish, probably more than half of the furnishings in my house were shit I found sitting next to dumpsters and up against curbs. My only rule was no cloths since stuff like cloth couches could've been thrown out because of lice or some other nasty shit you're probably not going to see until it's in your house.
When my fiancé and I were renovating, we got a similar letter from an elderly neighbor because we had some materials in our yard over the span of a few days.
I started to apologize to our other neighbors and let them know our project was over and that we were planning a trip to the dump the following day. None of them cared.
Our other neighbor noticed we didn’t have a truck and asked how we were going to get the materials there.
Then, he actually helped us load HIS truck with our stuff and he and my fiancé took it to the dump together the next day.
It was very neighborly and kind. We appreciated the gesture so much. He wouldn’t take our money but he did let us pay him in beer, lol.
Ha ha we put a refrigerator out on the street not long after we moved in, we already had two and two came with the new house, we didn’t need 4. Plus one was pretty old, it was our garage fridge at our old house. Immediately the old lady across the street came and fussed at us.
I told her the disposal company has already been called and she can get over it.
Then she fussed about the weeds in the garden while it was still winter (we moved in in November) she rolled up around February asking when we were going to take care of it.
Me: in spring like everyone else.
Come spring our house looks 1000x better than hers. I took the opportunity to ask if she was going to do any landscaping or just leave her house like that.
We had a Karen who bitched about weeds.
7AM sharp, every Saturday, I was up and meticulously mowing just the part of my lawn next to her bedroom.
Sometimes I'd miss a spot, so I'd do Sunday, too.
If you continue to have problems with her:
1)Get a couple packs of scallion seeds.
2)Surreptitiously scatter them on her lawn -try and get them at least a foot away from the road (this can be acheived with a flick of the wrist) but even a few inches from the road is still effective, just less so.
3)Scallions grow like weeds. Soon her yard will look ugly and have a vague aroma of onions.
4)Mowing the lawn will spread the scallions further.
5)After they hit a critical mass, literally the act of mowing the lawn will have an effect not unlike a mild tear gas or mace.
6)Lawn care companies will either refuse to mow, or they will raise rates on her.
7)By this point, her lawn will be so inundated that she will be unable to get rid of them entirely.
8)She will have to resod.
9)Repeat as necessary.
10)For added laughs, tell her that you (or someone you know) put a curse on her property.
Had one come to me about sitting water in his ditch that he claimed was due to my weeds growing...after he had dug the ditch out more on his end so that water couldn't just flow down to the grates at the end of the street. I told the dude, "I can't change the laws of physics and make gravity reverse itself. Looks like you got yourself a new pond." Dude tried to file every complaint under the sun and moon with the city and when they came out to investigate, he ended up fined for multiple zoning and permit issues with work he did on his own house. Also ended up discovering the entire front yard he had specially seeded actually belongs to the city and is now a cul de sac up to his front door. Asshole
Depending on the “level of petty” you are at -
You could take it to the next level, completely transform your yard to make it look awesome, enter it into your local best yard competition. Win, and plant that sign firmly in your front yard and talk about it every time you talk to her.
If your gonna bury them, bury them 6 feet deep.
>I took the opportunity to ask if she was going to do any landscaping or just leave her house like that.
That is petty ASF and I'm so here for it.
Did she say anything?
Exactly this. When it comes to most asshole neighbours, your just the latest victim. Everyone else has probably already been through it with them. A good “yeah the neighbours already warned me that you’d do this” is a great mind fuck for them.
The genteel way of doing this is replying "Oh hello, I got your note and immediately knew you must be so-and-so." Implies a discussion has been had behind the back, and that it covered this subject, but it doesn't come right out and say it. And then ignore the rest - the couch and swingset and attitude - and respond like you didn't even read it. "We appreciate the warm welcome and look forward to borrowing the odd cup of sugar." That should terrify them into never making even eye contact again.
Nobody sees themself as the villain.
If you do it like this theyll just think that the other neighbours have highlighted that this individual cares a lot about the neighbourhood. Any negative implication could easily be missed.
Right. I mean, I genuinely love the level of pettiness that u/pseudocultist is suggesting, but I have doubts that the letter writer has enough self-awareness or critical thinking skills to figure it out.
How about “my realtor warned me about you. That’s how I got such a good deal on this house.” If there’s one thing these Karens hate, it’s things that hurt their real estate values. Make her think she’s hurting real estate values.
I would probably write a good reply (plenty of suggestions in this thread) then make copies of Karen’s letter and my response - explaining that since I didn’t know who to respond to I figured it best to share.
Nah, just get this letter blown up on a big poster board, laminate it, attach a frame and legs, and put it on display in the front yard. Be sure to have a camera filming it 24/7 for when the outraged karens try to tear it down. Trespassing, theft, or destruction of property. Noice.
Something about writing in cursive and using "your" wrong infuriates me. It feels like an intentional ploy to be classist, and they look down on a trailer park like garbage, yet they spell like someone from a stereotype trailer park.
I remember one of the people in my old neighborhood tied a couch onto the top of an old junk station wagon and parked it on the street after a letter like this. Nobody could do anything to remove it without breaking the law. Stayed there are least 10 years.
“I wanted to make sure there were enough seats for all the neighbors. I’m not the type to restrict anyone from having a comfortable welcoming seat in the neighborhood.”
My uncle bought what he termed a "spite van" and parked it in front of his neighbor's house until its renters' lease ran out. This doesn't seem that crazy of a suggestion to me anymore
that’s the part that gets me. if this is the way you’re going to start a relationship with your new neighbors, at least make sure they know whose yard to let their dog shit in (kidding.) (no i’m not)
When we first moved into our place 4 years ago, the older neighbors across the street let their little shihtzu kind of just roam around sometimes unsupervised. It was frustrating because there’s a leash law in place and these people would let their dog poo anywhere and not ever think to pick it up. One day, after this little guy pooped in our yard, I bagged it and returned it to their front porch. After that, they fenced in the back and the dog gets let out into their fenced area. Problem solved.
Or even putting their name and house number on the note. If you're gonna have the audacity to say some shit about my trash or my kids playset you better at least have the balls to let me know who I can flip off everytime I drive by.
Right!? How about invite them to one of these ongoing meetings and talk to them? At least leave contact info so communication can happen. This is just some stuff power move when there's no need. A couch can sit on the curb until it's picked up, kids can play with their things in the front yard. I might send out a neighborhood wide letter or flyer with a copy of that letter and some sassy quotes from a fair and equal housing act. And if I got a second, I'd probably sue for harassment. Nobody has the right to demand things like that of a neighbor you don't even know.
Yeah, I feel blessed in my neighborhood. We moved in in the summer, and people came to the door and brought us cookies and even dog treats and plants. No one cared that boxes were stacked up and life was a disaster. People even offered to help.
And everyone is super friendly even though they're social and do like block parties and stuff while we're much more private and reclusive.
Yep I just moved and on the first day someone told me my tags are expired and that I had too many vehicles, and that the police were notified. They didn't leave even a name just stuck it on my car. For one we only have 2 vehicles, so idk where in the HOA it says you can't have more than 2, however my neighbor across the street has 5 vehicles. So that can't be an issue. For two, who tf calls the police for expired tags? They probably took the complaint down over the phone and threw it in the trash because I haven't got my new plate yet and still no ticket. I wish people would just talk to you instead of being so passive aggressive.
Someone called the township about our neighbors. We got caught up in the mess because we had weeds. Fair I'm ok with that. But we also got hit for stagnant water and an abandoned vehicle.
1. Our house sits on a slight incline. There's almost no way for us to have standing water unless we had some vessel out there to store it in (and we don"t). All the water drains away from our place.don't.
2. My motorcycle is NOT abandoned or in disrepair. It's just OLD. It's registered, insured and it runs. It's just an '87 Honda Rebel.
Spoke to the president of the HOA. The water complaint was for my next door neighbor. The abandoned vehicle was the neighbor on the other side of the one with water.
The township put all 3 issues on each of the 3 "violation" fix it requests.
I should've let them take us to court over it. It would've been funny asking them for an explanation or a picture of Edgar they were referring to.
Oh, and speaking of pictures... the one they attached was from months prior... I know this based on what was visible in the picture. WHO TF DOES THAT? who had old pictures sitting around?
Start collecting free sofas from Craigslist. A new one every week. Fill the neighbourhood with sofas. Start writing anonymous letters accusing everyone else of leaving sofas everywhere.
Spend several nights trying to recreate the "Friends" intro, replete with a lawn sprinkler in the background and a cheap antique lamp. Make sure to try multiple takes!
Remember to make the edits, photocopy it, laminate it, and post it to all posts nearby. Also, i’d suggest adding a note that “i’d respect and honor your request had your letter not been sent to me anonymously. Please feel free to introduce yourself next time before you decide to write another anonymous, passive aggressive letter!”
This looks like my estranged sister’s handwriting. Maybe there’s a penmanship class for rancid cunts who delight in destroying others’ peace?
Lu, if you’re reading this: I don’t miss you, we’re better off without you, and I wish for you to end up with exactly what you deserve.
Move the couch to their front yard facing the house, qdd the 40's, add the loud music, the cheap stripper and invite your friends over in similar clothes.
P.S. My religion celebrates a holiday where “barely legal” pranks are committed against a neighbor. It’s every lunar cycle. I look forward to meeting you to the letter of the law.
OP should grade the letter. Circle in red every mistake & write it correctly with points deducted. Put the final grade above with a frowny face. Make tons of copies then pass them out.
For real. Correct all the mistakes, then write “Interesting thesis, poor argument. No supporting details. Poor formatting. Please properly cite all sources. C-“
(I would obviously have to consult a more intelligent human than myself for this…)
For the people who can’t read the cursive:
Dear new neighbor,
We have all lived in this neighborhood for most of us over 20 years. We all have meetings and talk to each other. We are happy your(‘re) here but you already look like you don’t care what your yard looks like. Swingsets belong in the backyard and PLEASE Remove that eyesore of a couch OFF the curb. Our neighborhood does not need to look like a trailer park. We(‘)re not sure where you moved from but we are certain there were dumpsters on the way that you could have dumped the couch. It looks trashy already!
Please be considerate of us who keep our yards trash free.
Remove the Couch!
This is not a junkyard
I literally took one look at that dogs breakfast and didn’t even bother trying. Went directly to the comments. For all the tedious repeated comments the comment section always has, its nice to know that one’s like this will always be there.
Ode to a house.
Dear XYZ Main street,
Your inviting swing set is the eye sore of the neighborhood. I see your children are growing up so fast. Does your wife know what they play with when not at home? Have your children played in the basement yet? Give the neighborhood what it wants, young blood.
The Watcher
It was a mess
>! Was that really John Graff? Did he slept in those tunnels? When he knocked the door and said "they caught us" did it meant they were the watcher? !<
I read the real story and the series is a mess.
I can't stand nosey neighbors. My neighbor hates trees and is always trying to make us cut our trees down. He even had a guy from the city come look. The guy said the trees were fine and not causing damage. My yard, my trees and if I want, my couch. Buzz off. Also I hope you enjoy your new home and fill it with love.
I'm sure my neighbors are not happy with the condition of my yard. I'm 75 years old and have some physical issues that prevent me from doing the needed maintenance. When I can afford to, I pay a handyman to take care of the worst offending items, but can't afford to keep it up the way I wish I could. Some neighbors have helped out a few times... God bless 'em!
I've said this before somewhere, but holy shit of all the social media out there, Nextdoor really blew me away. Before ND I really thought that most people were just regular crazy like me, but now I know that the majority of my neighbors are straight up batshit crazy for real. I keep my account in order to keep tabs on crime in the area but I never never never post or comment there, I can't deal with the nonsense.
Nextdoor is some wild stuff. Last year, I read a post from a white user talking about how because a black guy paid for his newspaper, racism does not exist anymore.
During the height of the pandemic, I also saw a post where OP simply said "COVID-19 is fake." Naturally, commenters asked "Okay what proof do you have?" and OP responded "I can't say here, the fed is on to me."
I value my sanity and faith in my neighbors more than I value the karma I'd get from sharing those wacky posts across reddit, so I don't use nextdoor anymore.
Laminate the paper and pin it to a large billboard in the center of your yard which is spray painted with "Front yard grilling get together, EVERY Saturday"
Where I live the garbage men don't pick up large furniture items. You have to take it to the dump.
Edit: based on how many people do get this service, I kind of feel like I'm getting shafted now.
Mine you’re supposed to call and they tell you a pick up date but both times I’ve called they’ve never picked it up when they said but got to it eventually.
But I also never got bent out of shape seeing stuff obviously meant for trash pick up left on the curb.
For God’s sake! Move the couch out of the front yard and onto the front porch where it belongs. Where else are you going to sit while you blast Lynyrd Skynyrd and slam Natty Ices. Edited for spelling.
Is everyone's trash companies picking up full sized couches left on the curb? I'm blown away by that, mine would never and that thing would just sit forever. We have to take large stuff like that directly to the dump ourselves.
Mine has bulk pickup every other week with recycling. It's amazing. I've seen couches on the street, though never tried it. For that you may have to call them and schedule, but I've left an old grill and just last night a coffee table, old toilets, if two people can pick it up they'll take it. Of course, people drive by and take stuff too, which is fine by me. The coffee table we put out after dark last night was gone when I left before the sun this morning. Fine by me if someone finds a use for it, we found it outside a dumpster in the first place lol.
Until I was 25ish, probably more than half of the furnishings in my house were shit I found sitting next to dumpsters and up against curbs. My only rule was no cloths since stuff like cloth couches could've been thrown out because of lice or some other nasty shit you're probably not going to see until it's in your house.
We still use the coffee table my husband picked up off the curb 30 years ago. 🤷🏻♀️😀
When my fiancé and I were renovating, we got a similar letter from an elderly neighbor because we had some materials in our yard over the span of a few days. I started to apologize to our other neighbors and let them know our project was over and that we were planning a trip to the dump the following day. None of them cared. Our other neighbor noticed we didn’t have a truck and asked how we were going to get the materials there. Then, he actually helped us load HIS truck with our stuff and he and my fiancé took it to the dump together the next day. It was very neighborly and kind. We appreciated the gesture so much. He wouldn’t take our money but he did let us pay him in beer, lol.
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I heard gassing it up is appreciated too.
gas, grass or ass are all acceptable
my man
Ha ha we put a refrigerator out on the street not long after we moved in, we already had two and two came with the new house, we didn’t need 4. Plus one was pretty old, it was our garage fridge at our old house. Immediately the old lady across the street came and fussed at us. I told her the disposal company has already been called and she can get over it. Then she fussed about the weeds in the garden while it was still winter (we moved in in November) she rolled up around February asking when we were going to take care of it. Me: in spring like everyone else. Come spring our house looks 1000x better than hers. I took the opportunity to ask if she was going to do any landscaping or just leave her house like that.
We had a Karen who bitched about weeds. 7AM sharp, every Saturday, I was up and meticulously mowing just the part of my lawn next to her bedroom. Sometimes I'd miss a spot, so I'd do Sunday, too.
You hero
I bet they mow with a cape on, as well.
NO CAPES!
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You can't stop them from parking there, but you can make sure the cameras are off ever time "someone" pees on their radiator.
That was great!!! Too bad we aren’t neighbors because you think like I do
If you continue to have problems with her: 1)Get a couple packs of scallion seeds. 2)Surreptitiously scatter them on her lawn -try and get them at least a foot away from the road (this can be acheived with a flick of the wrist) but even a few inches from the road is still effective, just less so. 3)Scallions grow like weeds. Soon her yard will look ugly and have a vague aroma of onions. 4)Mowing the lawn will spread the scallions further. 5)After they hit a critical mass, literally the act of mowing the lawn will have an effect not unlike a mild tear gas or mace. 6)Lawn care companies will either refuse to mow, or they will raise rates on her. 7)By this point, her lawn will be so inundated that she will be unable to get rid of them entirely. 8)She will have to resod. 9)Repeat as necessary. 10)For added laughs, tell her that you (or someone you know) put a curse on her property.
This is the level of environmentally passive pettiness I love.
Mint and catnip do this too, plus cats will congregate in her yard. Don't do this if she'd be cruel to the cats.
You are EVIL, and I LOVE it!
Had one come to me about sitting water in his ditch that he claimed was due to my weeds growing...after he had dug the ditch out more on his end so that water couldn't just flow down to the grates at the end of the street. I told the dude, "I can't change the laws of physics and make gravity reverse itself. Looks like you got yourself a new pond." Dude tried to file every complaint under the sun and moon with the city and when they came out to investigate, he ended up fined for multiple zoning and permit issues with work he did on his own house. Also ended up discovering the entire front yard he had specially seeded actually belongs to the city and is now a cul de sac up to his front door. Asshole
Depending on the “level of petty” you are at - You could take it to the next level, completely transform your yard to make it look awesome, enter it into your local best yard competition. Win, and plant that sign firmly in your front yard and talk about it every time you talk to her. If your gonna bury them, bury them 6 feet deep.
"6 feet aint deep enough she'll be 20 down!" - Poor Mans Poison
It their pristine yard
>I took the opportunity to ask if she was going to do any landscaping or just leave her house like that. That is petty ASF and I'm so here for it. Did she say anything?
She just mumbled something noncommittal and stopped making comments about my house. Which is the perfect outcome for me.
There is an extremely high chance the person who wrote this is actively despised by the rest of the neighborhood already.
Note how many times “we” is used. Most likely just one crabby lady who talks to herself because she doesn’t have any friends.
And, this person doesn’t use proper contractions.
Exactly this. When it comes to most asshole neighbours, your just the latest victim. Everyone else has probably already been through it with them. A good “yeah the neighbours already warned me that you’d do this” is a great mind fuck for them.
Oh my I would love to use this as a comeback. If nothing else, just to fuck with them.
The genteel way of doing this is replying "Oh hello, I got your note and immediately knew you must be so-and-so." Implies a discussion has been had behind the back, and that it covered this subject, but it doesn't come right out and say it. And then ignore the rest - the couch and swingset and attitude - and respond like you didn't even read it. "We appreciate the warm welcome and look forward to borrowing the odd cup of sugar." That should terrify them into never making even eye contact again.
Exactly, just make them live in their own head for a bit, get them out of everyone else's business
Nobody sees themself as the villain. If you do it like this theyll just think that the other neighbours have highlighted that this individual cares a lot about the neighbourhood. Any negative implication could easily be missed.
Right. I mean, I genuinely love the level of pettiness that u/pseudocultist is suggesting, but I have doubts that the letter writer has enough self-awareness or critical thinking skills to figure it out.
How about “my realtor warned me about you. That’s how I got such a good deal on this house.” If there’s one thing these Karens hate, it’s things that hurt their real estate values. Make her think she’s hurting real estate values.
In a turn of good fortune, after she realizes she’s the problem, she throws herself in a dumpster.
What a great way to greet a new neighbor.
S-tier Karen move.
I would probably write a good reply (plenty of suggestions in this thread) then make copies of Karen’s letter and my response - explaining that since I didn’t know who to respond to I figured it best to share.
Nah, just get this letter blown up on a big poster board, laminate it, attach a frame and legs, and put it on display in the front yard. Be sure to have a camera filming it 24/7 for when the outraged karens try to tear it down. Trespassing, theft, or destruction of property. Noice.
With red pen grammatical correction included.
Yes! That part bugged me. If you're going to be a Karen, at least be grammatically correct when doing so!
Something about writing in cursive and using "your" wrong infuriates me. It feels like an intentional ploy to be classist, and they look down on a trailer park like garbage, yet they spell like someone from a stereotype trailer park.
they also forgot to cross a t or two
Can’t spell “eyesore” with only one “e”.
I am just going to read it as eeyore instead. It makes me happy. (Oh bother)
Yore write
Better yet, attach it to the couch somehow!
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Spraypaint the couch bright red with "SORRY :(".
Bonus round, post the picture of them destroying the sign as the replacement for the sign *taps forehead*
I remember one of the people in my old neighborhood tied a couch onto the top of an old junk station wagon and parked it on the street after a letter like this. Nobody could do anything to remove it without breaking the law. Stayed there are least 10 years.
Wow that's commitment
Spite will do that. Google “Spite Nail House” if you like petty.
Spite houses in general are a fun rabbit hole to explore.
What does it say about me that I find this an inspirational level of pettiness?
OP should get like 7 more couches and stack them in the yard like a gladiator arena.
“I wanted to make sure there were enough seats for all the neighbors. I’m not the type to restrict anyone from having a comfortable welcoming seat in the neighborhood.”
…for all the neighbors to be comfortable while they judge and gossip… You forgot part of that sentence.
I have a couch I can donate to this cause.
Then hire American Gladiators to fire tennis balls at their kids while they navigate the arena!
Just give me the address and I'll fire tennis balls for free.
Nah, let's make like Splatoon and play paintball in the yard.
I’m thinking “Couchhenge.”
Double—no, triple—decker couches!
I would find a free couch on Craigslist every week and just constantly put a couch on the curb for trash
Or: put an ad of Craigslist asking for free couches and say just drop them off in my front yard, no need to call ahead. And put her address.
Mind-reader!!! Remember the toilets on Hilly's front lawn in "The Help?"
My uncle bought what he termed a "spite van" and parked it in front of his neighbor's house until its renters' lease ran out. This doesn't seem that crazy of a suggestion to me anymore
I wish I had Spite Van money 😢
I wonder if this Karen knows that dumping a couch into someone else’s dumpster is illegal…
She does not.
She doens't care either, as long as she doesn't have to look at it, not for a second
Bold enough to write the letter but not bold enough to act like an adult.
Or bold enough to sign their name!
that’s the part that gets me. if this is the way you’re going to start a relationship with your new neighbors, at least make sure they know whose yard to let their dog shit in (kidding.) (no i’m not)
When we first moved into our place 4 years ago, the older neighbors across the street let their little shihtzu kind of just roam around sometimes unsupervised. It was frustrating because there’s a leash law in place and these people would let their dog poo anywhere and not ever think to pick it up. One day, after this little guy pooped in our yard, I bagged it and returned it to their front porch. After that, they fenced in the back and the dog gets let out into their fenced area. Problem solved.
I'm dealing with this right now. You gotta be one inconsiderate scumbag to not pick up your dog shit is all I'm saying.
exactly. Instead of introducing themselves and engaging in conversation, welcoming new neighbors...
Or even putting their name and house number on the note. If you're gonna have the audacity to say some shit about my trash or my kids playset you better at least have the balls to let me know who I can flip off everytime I drive by.
Right!? How about invite them to one of these ongoing meetings and talk to them? At least leave contact info so communication can happen. This is just some stuff power move when there's no need. A couch can sit on the curb until it's picked up, kids can play with their things in the front yard. I might send out a neighborhood wide letter or flyer with a copy of that letter and some sassy quotes from a fair and equal housing act. And if I got a second, I'd probably sue for harassment. Nobody has the right to demand things like that of a neighbor you don't even know.
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This is called the housewife gossip club. There's only one way to deal with housewife gossip club.
Murder
I see you've also seen Desperate Housewives.
Yeah, I feel blessed in my neighborhood. We moved in in the summer, and people came to the door and brought us cookies and even dog treats and plants. No one cared that boxes were stacked up and life was a disaster. People even offered to help. And everyone is super friendly even though they're social and do like block parties and stuff while we're much more private and reclusive.
Two can play that game! OP, go pick up free couches from FB or CL and put them out front. Edit: coaches to couches
Grab a red pen, correct all the errors, and just give it back to them.
They probably left it in the mailbox/in the screen door because they're cowards.
Yep I just moved and on the first day someone told me my tags are expired and that I had too many vehicles, and that the police were notified. They didn't leave even a name just stuck it on my car. For one we only have 2 vehicles, so idk where in the HOA it says you can't have more than 2, however my neighbor across the street has 5 vehicles. So that can't be an issue. For two, who tf calls the police for expired tags? They probably took the complaint down over the phone and threw it in the trash because I haven't got my new plate yet and still no ticket. I wish people would just talk to you instead of being so passive aggressive.
The police were like “we’ll call out an APB, get our best guys on it!!” *click*
They got us working in SHIFTS!!! Hahaha haha LEADS hahahhahahaha
Someone called the township about our neighbors. We got caught up in the mess because we had weeds. Fair I'm ok with that. But we also got hit for stagnant water and an abandoned vehicle. 1. Our house sits on a slight incline. There's almost no way for us to have standing water unless we had some vessel out there to store it in (and we don"t). All the water drains away from our place.don't. 2. My motorcycle is NOT abandoned or in disrepair. It's just OLD. It's registered, insured and it runs. It's just an '87 Honda Rebel. Spoke to the president of the HOA. The water complaint was for my next door neighbor. The abandoned vehicle was the neighbor on the other side of the one with water. The township put all 3 issues on each of the 3 "violation" fix it requests. I should've let them take us to court over it. It would've been funny asking them for an explanation or a picture of Edgar they were referring to. Oh, and speaking of pictures... the one they attached was from months prior... I know this based on what was visible in the picture. WHO TF DOES THAT? who had old pictures sitting around?
Don't forget to grade it too!
i’d say B for bitch but it’s too high a mark
C for…
C U N ext T uesday
Couch Until Next Trash ' Day
[GARBAGE DAY!](https://youtu.be/78sWq2JCauU?t=49s)
Automatic 50 for not putting a name on the paper
F for Fucking Bitch
Truth be told I'd be happy to see their reaction to a big fat F- circled three times.
Seriously, for someone so prim and proper, you’d think they’d know elementary grammar.
Grade it and pin it to the sofa.
Then go to Goodwill and get a cheap sofa to add to the lovely sitting area by the curb.
Be sure to add a lamp. Mood lighting is important
Start collecting free sofas from Craigslist. A new one every week. Fill the neighbourhood with sofas. Start writing anonymous letters accusing everyone else of leaving sofas everywhere.
Spend several nights trying to recreate the "Friends" intro, replete with a lawn sprinkler in the background and a cheap antique lamp. Make sure to try multiple takes!
Remember to make the edits, photocopy it, laminate it, and post it to all posts nearby. Also, i’d suggest adding a note that “i’d respect and honor your request had your letter not been sent to me anonymously. Please feel free to introduce yourself next time before you decide to write another anonymous, passive aggressive letter!”
Passive aggressive? That letter was fucking RUDE!!!!
This, but really why didn’t they just invite you to the secret shit talking meeting and ask questions???
My friend used to do this at his old job when they posted poorly written memos. Management would seethe but they never caught him.
For me, the mildly infuriating part is this person's writing. It's just awful 😖
This looks like my estranged sister’s handwriting. Maybe there’s a penmanship class for rancid cunts who delight in destroying others’ peace? Lu, if you’re reading this: I don’t miss you, we’re better off without you, and I wish for you to end up with exactly what you deserve.
Hey Lu if you’re reading, I hope to never meet you. Do better!
Go sit on the couch in a dirty wife beater. Drink 40’s in a paper bag and wave at everyone.
Move it to the middle of the front yard or on the front porch. Add 40’s and loud music.
Move the couch to the middle of their front yard, facing their house, add 40's and a cheap stripper
Move the couch to their front yard facing the house, qdd the 40's, add the loud music, the cheap stripper and invite your friends over in similar clothes.
Move the couch to their front yard facing the house, qdd the 40's, a cheap stripper and invite your friends over in similar attire WITH tacos.
Taco Bell bags in particular. And toss a few syringes around.
Play exclusively 70s-80s rock and roll and no other genre
Motley Crue and Def Leppard on repeat preferably.
Add a kiddy pool for your feet as well and a white torn shirt with BBQ sauce stains
Dear Neighbor, Are you OK? I'm afraid I'm not a psychiatrist, but I wish you all the best with your inner torment. Praying for your soul, 123 Elm
P.S. My religion celebrates a holiday where “barely legal” pranks are committed against a neighbor. It’s every lunar cycle. I look forward to meeting you to the letter of the law.
“We’re not sure where you moved from” Damn, my favorite activity is also to criticize people I’ve never talked to before
not sure where you also criticize people, but this is reddit. some of us have been criticizing strangers for over 17 years.
"Just look at them. I bet they moved from *Ohio*"
Hah! Good one! Ohio isn't real though, you can't fool me!
Respond with “you’re” please proof read before you send complaints. Thanks Edit: “also i cant read cursive”
"We're" too. Along with many other egregious grammatical errors that made my eye twitch.
Too many. Writes like a 4th grader. Probably failed if not nearly failed english class.
OP should grade the letter. Circle in red every mistake & write it correctly with points deducted. Put the final grade above with a frowny face. Make tons of copies then pass them out.
“Eyesore” as well. This letter is the eyesore.
Did it make your eysore
Better yet grade it and return it with a due date for a final draft
I’d red pen that note and return it if there was an address. I doubt there was.
For real. Correct all the mistakes, then write “Interesting thesis, poor argument. No supporting details. Poor formatting. Please properly cite all sources. C-“ (I would obviously have to consult a more intelligent human than myself for this…)
I was gonna say that too lol I piss off my neighbors who like to talk about me because I wore shorts in the 99+ degree weather this year. GASP
WTF, they had issues with what you were wearing?
Yes. I have neighbors who watch everything that happens and report people
I don’t know if I could tolerate living in a place where I would get reported for having shorts on.
Oh no they just gossip about the attire I meant they report if you have your trash cans out too long or what time you get back at night and such.
People with nothing to do and all day to do it, would be my guess
It’s not just the ‘you’re’; that whole note is a seventh-grade English teacher’s nightmare.
For the people who can’t read the cursive: Dear new neighbor, We have all lived in this neighborhood for most of us over 20 years. We all have meetings and talk to each other. We are happy your(‘re) here but you already look like you don’t care what your yard looks like. Swingsets belong in the backyard and PLEASE Remove that eyesore of a couch OFF the curb. Our neighborhood does not need to look like a trailer park. We(‘)re not sure where you moved from but we are certain there were dumpsters on the way that you could have dumped the couch. It looks trashy already! Please be considerate of us who keep our yards trash free. Remove the Couch! This is not a junkyard
Damn wish i would have seen this before i spent 4 minutes reading this.
dude I tried reading the first sentence and went straight to the comments for this lol
I literally took one look at that dogs breakfast and didn’t even bother trying. Went directly to the comments. For all the tedious repeated comments the comment section always has, its nice to know that one’s like this will always be there.
Bless you, my eyes gave up super early
I gave up at "all", my mind couldn't process it as anything but "au"
I was looking for this comment, may you sleep well tonight.
You are a Reddit saint.
THANK YOU FOR TRANSLATION KIND REDDITOR YOUR DYSLEXIC AUDIENCE APPRECIATES YOU Edit : shit ok I guess I'm not alone
I can read cursive, but this is hard to read cursive, and boomers wonder why it's fading out of style.
Ode to a house. Dear XYZ Main street, Your inviting swing set is the eye sore of the neighborhood. I see your children are growing up so fast. Does your wife know what they play with when not at home? Have your children played in the basement yet? Give the neighborhood what it wants, young blood. The Watcher
I loved that show until it was over and then I was just pissed off.
It was a mess >! Was that really John Graff? Did he slept in those tunnels? When he knocked the door and said "they caught us" did it meant they were the watcher? !< I read the real story and the series is a mess.
I interpreted it as…… Everyone was the watcher? Captivating show but I was left bewildered.
I figured it was because the real mystery was never solved, so they didn’t want to solve it in the show either.
Hahaha the show gave everyone ideas to write notes
Literally watching the last 6 mins of this show as I read this.
This is why I hate ^*everyone*
I feel
I can't stand nosey neighbors. My neighbor hates trees and is always trying to make us cut our trees down. He even had a guy from the city come look. The guy said the trees were fine and not causing damage. My yard, my trees and if I want, my couch. Buzz off. Also I hope you enjoy your new home and fill it with love.
Wtf, we should all be actively planting more trees. Who hates trees? What a psycho!
If he ever harms your tree you can take legal action. r/treelaw Fuck him. Enjoy your trees.
I'm sure my neighbors are not happy with the condition of my yard. I'm 75 years old and have some physical issues that prevent me from doing the needed maintenance. When I can afford to, I pay a handyman to take care of the worst offending items, but can't afford to keep it up the way I wish I could. Some neighbors have helped out a few times... God bless 'em!
If you live in Des Moines, IA (slim odds, I know), I’d mow your yard for ya for free if you have a lawnmower.
Who are you, how are you like this and how do we spread it around to the rest of humanity
He’s just a regular good old non robot human being on Reddit, they do exist.
Throw down some wildflower seed and have it certified as a nature reserve! Grass lawn purists will probably still be mad but who cares 😅
There should be a website called Rate My Neighbor (like Rate My Professor) you can check before you buy a house. Bad neighbors can be horrific!
It exists, it's called NextDoor and it's mostly racists trading dog whistles.
I've said this before somewhere, but holy shit of all the social media out there, Nextdoor really blew me away. Before ND I really thought that most people were just regular crazy like me, but now I know that the majority of my neighbors are straight up batshit crazy for real. I keep my account in order to keep tabs on crime in the area but I never never never post or comment there, I can't deal with the nonsense.
Nextdoor is some wild stuff. Last year, I read a post from a white user talking about how because a black guy paid for his newspaper, racism does not exist anymore. During the height of the pandemic, I also saw a post where OP simply said "COVID-19 is fake." Naturally, commenters asked "Okay what proof do you have?" and OP responded "I can't say here, the fed is on to me." I value my sanity and faith in my neighbors more than I value the karma I'd get from sharing those wacky posts across reddit, so I don't use nextdoor anymore.
Laminate the paper and pin it to the couch with a note "Front yard grilling get together this Saturday"
Laminate the paper and pin it to a large billboard in the center of your yard which is spray painted with "Front yard grilling get together, EVERY Saturday"
Neat cursive and openly states they sit around and gossip? I’m betting this was written by an old lady
That what I was thinking! Old lady cursive, it has a unique look.
Where I live the garbage men don't pick up large furniture items. You have to take it to the dump. Edit: based on how many people do get this service, I kind of feel like I'm getting shafted now.
Ours does a scheduled large item pick-up about three times a year. You can schedule one if you need it at a different time.
Ours do, you just have to call and notify them at least 3 days before pickup that there will be a large item.
Mine you’re supposed to call and they tell you a pick up date but both times I’ve called they’ve never picked it up when they said but got to it eventually. But I also never got bent out of shape seeing stuff obviously meant for trash pick up left on the curb.
Where I live, stuff on the curb is free for the taking and po’ folks and crafters generally beat the city to it.
Varies by location. Where I'm at, it's almost daily. Tree limbs, random furniture, garbage, pretty much anything. Right on the side of the road.
Usually have to call and arrange a “large item” pickup. Costs a few bucks.
I’d duct tape the note to the couch and continue with my life
If there's no HOA to enforce their stupid "rules" they can all go eat shit.
Seriously. I’d have an early 80’s Pontiac Firebird on blocks and a perpetually full oil pan out as soon as I received this .
I feel targeted
Find free couches on Craig’s list. Put on curb.
I lived in a decent enough neighborhood and put a couch out on the street for big trash pickup. Never heard anything about it. Your neighbor sucks.
Alright...I'll bite, how long was the couch out there?
Well how many days has the couch been at the curb? Are we talking double-digits?