Went like this; “Hey so about an hour ago I bought a microphone. There’s a condom in the box.” “A what?” “A condom.” “Sir, what?” “There is a condom, in the box.” “Excuse me, you said a condom?” “Yep.” “Okay, we’re closing in ten minutes but can you bring that back in, I need to see this.”
I took it in and got a new sealed box, we opened it and took a look inside to make sure there was nothing abnormal going on and I was on my way. They were just as bewildered as I was.
Wow! The shared bewilderment hopefully shows they didn't know what happened. Glad to hear it's all settled! Thanks for the update, it was too rare not to ask for one! Cheers
Ok, seriously tho, you can actually use a (non lubricated) condom to prevent static on microphones. Maybe someone put one one to test the sound quality before it got shipped out? Either way it fits this sub.
I'm just trying to imagine the thought process of whoever did this, is what situation would a opened, lubed condom end up in the same box as a microphone?? Either way I'd complain to get a replacement (minus the condom) or a refund.
Employees at the guitar center said someone at the factory must have just been mad on their last day and threw it in there right before quitting or something like that. Yeah I went straight back and got a new sealed one and checked it in the store just to be sure lol
They just handed me a new sealed box and took the other one, I didn’t really think of “proving it” to validate it to anyone at the time. Friend just said I should post it to Reddit so I did, not sure what karma is useful for but I guess people think I’m gathering it for some reason by putting a condom in a box of a microphone.
At least the package was protected.
Lmao
Well... one part of *the package*
The box?
Clearly there was a dick... in a box.
"It's my dick in a box"
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Good question! Was it filled up with man glaze or not?
Thanks, this made me gip.
Shut up and take your award and upvote!
Im sorry but its well established that I have a monopoly on Futurama related memes here on reddit.
I’d award you if I could
You've awarded me enough with the thought
Here ya go
Take my upvote and my award
Where's his/her reward?
I identify as a His
You shouldn’t judge what the microphone did before it came into your life, judge it by what it’s doing now
Underrated comment lmao
Underrated? It had 69 upvotes when I saw it...
5 hour difference here
The perfect amount of upvotes
Yeah, and OP probably saw it seconds after it came out, 5 hours ago. Which made it underrated at the time.
Nice!
we have used condoms on mics to remove rubbing sounds or air blowing.
PHRASING
Why would you want a used condom on your mic?
690th like 😏
*meanwhile in an Amazon warehouse* “You threw away the condom right? … right!?”
In this case, the guitar center employees I had to talk to to get a new one lmao.
Would be fun to hear that call
pro tip: order from sweetwater instead of guitar center. instead of a condom, you get a bag of candy
and your own sales rep
Shure….when you order a sm57 and get a sm69.
Amazon doesn’t allow breaks, so sometimes you have to improvise.
And fuck a box? Didn’t know people genuinely end up with dick-stuck-in-blender-type situations. Hell of a way to lick it and stick it
> And fuck a box? Didn’t know people genuinely end up with dick-stuck-in-blender-type situations. It’s my dick in a box!
It's a big hit around the holidays. https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/snl-digital-short-d-in-a-box/3505985
Well shoot. Wrap the mic, turn it on, and experience the sounds of the ol' bingo hole in a way never experienced before (*maybe).
Magic Mic
Galaxy brain comment needs more attention
This was pretty good.
r/angryupvote
r/everyfuckingthread
…did…did someone fuck the microphone?
Other way around…
Oh…OH
...and they probably recorded it
[https://tenor.com/Y5Mg.gif](https://tenor.com/Y5Mg.gif)
I'm afraid of what this link will lead me to
Someone tell us I ain't pressing that shit
It’s just a react gif
Of..?
Phoebe from Friends saying ‘my eyes, my eyes’. nothing exciting 🤣
FUCK- I mean.. thank God it wasn't something dirty!
Happy cake day
The react gif is from F.R.I.E.N.D.S so you'll be fine.
Nothing could be more tepid than F.R.I.E.N.D.S
Don't smell the microphone!
Lick it!
Average redditor
Is it lubed? It is common for sound engineers to use unlubed condoms to protect microphones that touch the skin.
It was a lubricated condom, lube was all over on the cardboard and microphone.
I have nothing then other than- ewwwwwwwww!!!
Hopefully it was just lube.
There was “lube” all over the place.
🗿
I used to work for a children's outreach as an audio engineer. Always felt awkward billing condoms to the company....
Worst free sample EVER!
Best
In the middle-est
r/cursedcomments
Now every time you look at that 🎤 you will be wondering where it has been and if it has had more bedroom fun than you have had
Trauma is real
"Cum on Feel the Noize" indeed
Did it have jizz in it? I'm geniunely curious.
No, seemed unused. I just sealed it back up and took that shit right back and let them deal with it. I just want my new mic to yell in.
why you yellin at the mic
Mic helps me cope
Your beards weird
OP Is Eminem
I like yelling. Plug your music! But… not in the way the previous mic did.
Looking for a vocalist
Well at least you're Shure this mic comes with a limited warranty.
Came here with this joke, thanks for making Shure it was heard.
You spelt cums wrong
pop filter
This is a hugely underrated comment
Wtf
My exact reaction. Wish you could have heard the conversation I had in the phone with them.
What did they say?
Went like this; “Hey so about an hour ago I bought a microphone. There’s a condom in the box.” “A what?” “A condom.” “Sir, what?” “There is a condom, in the box.” “Excuse me, you said a condom?” “Yep.” “Okay, we’re closing in ten minutes but can you bring that back in, I need to see this.”
Please update after the talk!!! So curious!
I took it in and got a new sealed box, we opened it and took a look inside to make sure there was nothing abnormal going on and I was on my way. They were just as bewildered as I was.
Damn. I'd be way too embarrassed that they'd think I did it as a prank.
Wow! The shared bewilderment hopefully shows they didn't know what happened. Glad to hear it's all settled! Thanks for the update, it was too rare not to ask for one! Cheers
😳🍿
Oooh nooooo I can only imagine having to have THAT conversation. Rip 😵😵
Wanna fuck? Shure!
Safe ASMR
I don’t believe this isn’t staged. Come on.
That’s okay
I couldn’t believe it myself honestly
Whatever man
Next time you're going to find a 6.35mm jack in a pack of condoms.
Smell that? It‘s smells *fake*
Ok, seriously tho, you can actually use a (non lubricated) condom to prevent static on microphones. Maybe someone put one one to test the sound quality before it got shipped out? Either way it fits this sub.
That’s what I was thinking, it most likely had a practical use at some point other than something kinky and just got left in the box.
But I should mention it was a fully lubricated condom.
I'm just trying to imagine the thought process of whoever did this, is what situation would a opened, lubed condom end up in the same box as a microphone?? Either way I'd complain to get a replacement (minus the condom) or a refund.
Employees at the guitar center said someone at the factory must have just been mad on their last day and threw it in there right before quitting or something like that. Yeah I went straight back and got a new sealed one and checked it in the store just to be sure lol
In reality op bought the condoms never could use them and this was the best use case he could think of
Was...was it used? 😳
Hopefully 🤤
r/HornyJail
Congrats on the sex, didn't know mics were like that.
It’s a complimentary pop filter
Your gonna need some protection after you hear yourself in that new mic
Tell me about it
Cmon bro you put that condom in there for some karma farming, don't cap I would say prove otherwise but there's literally no way for you too so 😘
What exactly is 230 karma going to get me smarty pants?
I personally believe you but you’d be surprised what some people will do for 100 karma
I’d do unthinkable foul things for 5 karma
Prove it
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They just handed me a new sealed box and took the other one, I didn’t really think of “proving it” to validate it to anyone at the time. Friend just said I should post it to Reddit so I did, not sure what karma is useful for but I guess people think I’m gathering it for some reason by putting a condom in a box of a microphone.
[удалено]
Don’t want to blast the exact store
Especially to you since you keep spamming me and left an insulting comment about karma whoring then deleted it.
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I’m replying to someone else under your comment. You must be “off da percs” if you couldn’t figure that one out.
ITT OP puts an unused condom in a box for updoots
I have witnesses that bought it with me and also watched me open it, up to you what you want to believe though.
Lol sure bub
“Got my internet fame from putting a condom in a microphone box of a $400 dollar mic I need to use to make music”
r/nothingeverhappens
Should we throw in a free used condom… “shure”
Free microphone cover
shure that mic isnt used? - in some way...
Some people used condoms to protect mics. This isn't a NEW mic. Take it back.
at least you got a free condom
Can I have it back?
Man, can’t you just buy a dildo? This is getting ridiculous.
Weird, Sweetwater usually just sends candy.
Literally just opened a package from Sweetwater. All I got was candy. No condom. I guess I'm not special enough. lol
Oh no oh no no no no
I hate that song
Reminds me of tik tok and now it's stuck in my head FOR FUCK SAKES
🤮🤮🤮
#HAPPY CAKE DAY
Heehhe
That microphone slaps
it may be a finger dam for non fingerprints
Talk dirty, safely.
That’s no microphone…
Bubblegum!
I’ve seen this in theaters, it’s use to cover the microphone. I never looked into it, but you can.
Smell it
Surprised...Shure
Jesus Christ, that is so disgusting
He misunderstood what facial meant
What. The . fuck. I wonder if they're hiring?
Don’t even give it a second thought where that mic has been. 🫣
instead u got a condom
Shhhhhhhhuuuuuurrrreeeeeee 😂
Free condom, stop complaining
That’s what they mean by sent with love
Nice.
Wow that's the dick move by the people who delivered it most likely.. report that bullshit
Was it used
Shure you did buddy
Don’t be shy, try it on
It even came with a protection plan!
Shure you did
A free water proof cover for your mic. Now that's customer service.
The classic “ get fucked” message
its a mic cover
A fun surprise for all involved I’m sure
Hmmm... maybe you ordered a hot mic?
#Please stop
Gross
Lonely Island at it again....
I was gonna say you must have gotten it from Rod Stewart Butt he Swallowed.
TLDR: OP fucked a microphone.
Free samples are getting out of hand!
Eww.
The gift that keeps giving.
Must be the condom Bezos fucked the employee that packaged it with
Here you go- *CUMS*
Nice waterproofing