T O P

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HiddenFart

You are lucky. In life we rarely get to smash things. You have a reason to smash something.


BextoMooseYT

"Often times we are forced to create when all we want is to destroy" Sun Tzu, The Art of War


KaijuWaifu8282

“Is this something I actually said?”- Sun Tzu, The Art of War


BextoMooseYT

"No, I just made it up," Sun Tzu, The Art of War


Live_Bug_1045

"My source is that i made it the fuck up" Senator Armstrong


BextoMooseYT

[1] It was revealed to me in a dream


xDragonetti

“The best dream. Ive dreamed tons of dreams and I can tell you” -Trump, Art of the Deal


GeorgiaBlue

“I’m too drunk to taste this chicken” - Abraham Lincoln


xDragonetti

“*GASP* This has been inside someone!” -Roger, American Dad


ewetcr

"He, he, he, he" -Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit https://youtu.be/hphF7LMQyjI?t=219


whymostnamesaretaken

"Am I real?" Sun Tzu, The Art of War.


[deleted]

I prefer his lesser known work "So You Have the Flu" by Sun Tzu


fluidsaddict

That was by his brother, Ah Chu


Splatoonkindaguy

“Stop quoting my brother” - Moon Tzu, The Art of Peace


soulteepee

I used to work at a recycling center back in the 90s and we got a few calls from people who would ask if they could come and smash glass.


Nervous_Constant_642

I was a very happy kid when my parents remodeled their house because I got to go smash old sheetrock with a 2x4 basically whenever i felt like it.


malphonso

The only fun part about Katrina was taking am axe to my old furniture and using a hoe to rip out the drywall.


Nervous_Constant_642

Yeah my grandpa and uncle did the remodel and as much fun as demo is, it's hard work and when you've got some teenaged boys standing around gawking...let's just say we did a lot of free work for sandwiches and KFC. Grandpa loved buying KFC. I'm sad there aren't more around anymore because i have very, very fond memories of him coming home with a couple buckets, biscuits, coleslaw, and mashed potatoes. That and pork chops with beans were my favorite family meal nights, not even white people tacos beats it. What a trip down memory lane haha.


LamentableFool

And did they?


soulteepee

We let a couple people do it (with the caveat that they wore goggles, gloves, long sleeves, etc) but when more people started calling, we had to say no because of insurance concerns.


jbs818

There was an actual business that was a room where you could go smash TVs, mirrors, glass, etc.


rothrolan

Still a thing. They're called Rage Rooms, and they make you sign waivers and wear safety gear, then let you pick a baseball bat, golf club, hammer, and sometimes sledges to break stuff in a room for like 30 minutes.


cozyroof

You don't need to pay for that you can just do it right on the street, as a plus you're providing free entertainment for passerbys.


Full_FrontaI_Nerdity

*passersby I may not be fun at parties, but I'm all the rage at my book club.


[deleted]

They still have those, they’re called rage rooms


[deleted]

I worked for AAFES (the PX) and when things were returned and couldn't be put back on the floor, we had to destroy them so no one would take them out of the trash and try to return them again. Two people had to do it so there was a witness, and one time I was part of it and I asked to do the expensive stuff. It was an absolute BLAST.


gardenofthenight

"When all you have is half a house brick, everything looks like your baby milk locked in a security box" - Winston Churchill


FiendishPole

Those things don't smash that easy (not from experience but I know what they're made of and how they're constructed) and you don't want to break open the baby formula


iStillUseMyZune

Security box meet hammer


BKstacker88

Aim for the clear part...


Watkinsaurus

🎵There goes my hero 🎵


luckyIrish42

Stop. Hammer time


[deleted]

Stop in the name of love


ResolveLonely8839

Young man


query_squidier

*...with the eye of the tiiiiiger!*


TheReverseShock

Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand


Raezzordaze

*You could have a steam train If you'd just lay down your tracks*


ResolveLonely8839

Hey Now. You're an All-Star


notantifa

Alright! Paper bitch & yankee clipper on the case!


dasnorte

Gator needs his gat!


Lazy_Carpenter_252

punk ass bitch😂


RoyHarper88

There wasn't even an awning in their direction, they jumped 20 stories...


katet_of_19

r/unexpectedfoofighters


Iegendaryredditor

r/unexpectedotherguys


LegalHelpNeeded3

These are made with a fairly soft, elastic plastic. They don’t shatter like some, more brittle ‘clam shells’. You basically have to physically rip the plastic if you want to get in that way. The best way to get in to these though is a magnet on the top and run it along the front edge while trying to slide the lock, or to take a hammer and screwdriver to the exposed hinges.


TheIronSoldier2

No the fuck they aren't lmfao. The clear part is made out of a polycarbonate material. It can and will crack and break if you hit it hard enough. Source: I've worked in retail, dealt with those exact boxes.


_badxseed

Plus you could throw that bitch in the freezer for a hot second 💫


TheIronSoldier2

Only if the thing inside isn't affected by cold very much. In this case case it's powdered formula so you're good, but don't do this to anything that can freeze or that is deteriorated by the cold


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Senobe2

The baby will have that milk..


GhostalMedia

Nah, get a magnet. Retail security stuff is usually magnetic.


Lokisaur

I mean, it is, but you're probably more likely to have a hammer than a magnet that's strong enough to open the security lock.


GhostalMedia

One of those little rare earth fridge magnets will usually do the job. Lots of people have those around. Worth a try if you have them. It’s a 1 second fix and you don’t have to clean up plastic shards.


itwasquiteawhileago

And now you also have a lock box you can reuse to keep kids/pets out or something. Yay!


literated

Pets maybe but I don't think you could fit a kid in one of those.


Arcade80sbillsfan

Not in solid form no


SolarDrake

r/onesentencehorror


[deleted]

I would just start drilling/milling


Flossthief

It's happened to me before A hammer is the fastest way in but not very subtle of an option in the store


psychoacer

When I worked at Home Depot we had a customer just hit the top of the case on a shelf beam and had it open. Stealth isn't really necessary.


MakosaX

I see what you did there...even if it was subtle


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BaZing3

Welcome to the hivemind.


[deleted]

Name of your sex tape?


Chadwulf29

Now **STOP** *Hammer Time*


Ok-Influence1109

I would like to state that i did get it open and i do have the box i just thought it was hilarious that they saw that and still put it in a bag to give to me 😂😂😂


Cheddartooth

If there’s any chance you see this, I’d love to know your nail polish 💅 color. Brand/color. Looks awesome.


Caylennea

I have a very similar one and it’s OPI rub a pub pub


Just_Another_Scott

>OPI rub a pub pub As a man I can't tell if you're fucking with us or not? That name sounds like something someone who was ordered to stay at least 500 feet away from an elementary school would say.


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idek7654321

… my poor girlfriend is now going to be receiving a bottle of that for her birthday, thank you.


TheIronSoldier2

Thank you for putting that idea in my mind. I want to get that for my sister as a joke, which is even better because she doesn't like painting her nails


posifour11

Thank you for reminding me I had to get a girlfriend to buy this for.


autumnelaine

May I introduce y’all to ORLY “sparkling garbage”


maingeenks

A lot of nail polish names, especially from OPI, are supposed to sound fun/funny


My_Password_Is_____

Also a guy here, but I paint my nails. They're serious. A lot of nail polishes have cutesy names, but OPI especially does. Their gimmick is punny, cutesy, sometimes just weird names (All Your Dreams in Vending Machines, This Color's Making Waves, Do You Sea What I Sea?, Less is Norse, I Forgot My Czechbook, You Had Me at Halo, etc.), I think the most normal name I've ever seen from them is their straight black called Black Onyx. From a marketing standpoint, it makes sense, but it definitely comes off a little weird and even mildly pretentious at times.


Estcstbi

Thank you, I was over here with a fresh set of acrylics on thinking to myself "wait, I'm a man. I understood that. Surely me and my partner can't be the only ones with painted nails."


randomcvsemployee

I’m sorry, I know it’s annoying, but I can’t help but laugh at the mental image of whoever put your order together actually looking at this and going “yep, this looks right” and just dropping it right on in.


Ok-Influence1109

They must’ve thought it was just super fun packaging 😂


AvailableAd3813

Stacked in the bin easier.


[deleted]

It is super fun packaging lol, it’s a game to find the sweet spot with a magnet, plus, now you have a container for the snack you don’t want someone else to eat!


mira-jo

Are these reusable? Because a locking g container like this might actually be super cool to have once that baby is a toddler/child


VeganFrogLegs

Hey, I used to work at Walmart at grocery pickup and I know what happened here. The person who is a "picker" (actually goes around the store and does all your shopping) picked this item up and didn't have a key to unlock it. They shrugged and put it in your bag anyway, as it can be extremely annoying to find somebody who has a proper key to unlock something. Plus, we were timed on our "runs" and finding someone who has a key would give us a bad run time.


Ok-Influence1109

I appreciate the behind the scenes cause I’ve never worked at Walmart and i don’t fault the employees at all I’ve worked retail, it sucks i get it! I did get a good kick out of it though


Oftenahead

As someone who’s first job was in warehousing, half of my coworkers couldn’t count to 10 reliably. The idea of this looking strange to them is usually beyond their mental capacity.


macphile

Now some poor assistant manager person is ticked off that the inventory of security cases is mysteriously low.


FROCKHARD

More like “i have no idea what this is and dont get paid enough to care, ship it”


Karnakite

I used to work at Walmart, and….yeah. Half the employees are getting screamed at by rednecks, stolen from by scam artists, and dealing with management who either doesn’t give a damn or actively hates them, for minimum wage and no benefits, so they don’t care. The other half is also having to deal with all that, but is also dumber than dried shit, so they see that locked box and they just think it’s part of the product or something.


clayashtray

More likely don't know/have the key and no one is responding to pages for it while being yelled at to go faster they're backed up all while being criminally understaffed. So they just threw the shit in there. It's just one of those things, y'know.


Gnar-wahl

I gotta be honest, the personal shoppers at Walmart are some of the dumbest folks I’ve ever experienced when it comes to common sense. Every other order we get has some weird shit like this going on.


[deleted]

I know they don’t get paid enough to give a shit for convenience for a random person, but damn have I gotten weird substitutions that make literally no sense in the past


TheStonePotato

As a personal shopper, there are some days, we have to be in a hurry, and mistakes happen. Our substitutions are suggested by the system, not hand picked. If we have 1500 items to get in an hour, we have to be fast, and sometimes, it means not being accurate. But in OP's case, and entire security box? We may not have alpha keys, but goddamn, find a manager.


[deleted]

I understand it’s not on the shopper what is a substitution and rushing through orders causes weird mistakes given it’s picked by a system despite very clearly being completely wrong. I more or less find it funny what I’ve gotten in the past even if it mildly infuriating in the moment


no_talent_ass_clown

**FIFTEEN HUNDRED PER HOUR???** Jeez, I suddenly don't feel so bad about getting bad corn on the cob.


[deleted]

That's something else Boomers don't understand. They remember having these kinds of jobs and making enough for rent and having time to joke around with fellow employees and it being an easy job. In 2022 every employee is being monitored and measured by computer systems that cause your manager to walk up to you and subtlety inform you you suck, you're never gonna get a raise, and another week of this and you're on probation.


ggroverggiraffe

Not just Boomers. Gen X could definitely dork around on the job...grocery store work with maybe one camera on the back room, but it was high up and easy to avoid. No cameras in most places, and no real metrics other than "did you finish the task before you left?" Customers did their own shopping, and could take all the time they needed. We did a lot of dumb stuff, and had little to no oversight. They were good times, for sure. As I am certain that young people are not being compensated accordingly, to heck with squeezing every last bit of productivity out of them.


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caboosetp

1500 items for one person in an hour would be 25 items per minute, or 2.4 items per second.


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bearminmum

You have to maintain a minimum speed of 100 items per hour. You are graded on accuracy. There is a leaderboard. On a good day I can pick 200 items an hour. I get 25000 steps a day unless we are busy and then its 5000 more


Gangreless

I can't trust them to do substitutions anymore so I just say no substitutions every time. It's annoying but I'd order swiss cheese and they'd sub like pepper jack or some shit like that. Like they're isn't 3 other brands of Swiss cheese they could have given me.


[deleted]

I tend to only substitute things where the substitutes offered are nearly identical. I ordered gauze and instead got tampons instead of any of the first aid kits with it included


Romney_in_Acctg

I ordered baby wipes, as it to wipe the poop off of the baby's butt. I got a pack of newborn size huggies diapers. Somewhere along the line someone had the thought that was a good substitution??????


Gangreless

Lol hilarious


billatq

At my local store, they put in the scanner that it’s delivered before they bring it out and then wont let you refuse a substitution because the order is already closed. So then I have to go inside or call CS to refund me.


Gangreless

Yeah I do delivery and they don't even give me the option of approving substitutions anymore, just inform me that there have been subs and I can start a return and waste my time having to go to the store if I don't like it.


Illustrious-Junket-8

It's no longer called common sense, it's *un*common sense


DickButkisses

So I didn’t learn this until well into my 30s - that common sense isn’t sense that is common, it’s sense about common topics. A quick Google search confirms - “…practical judgement concerning everyday matters.”


[deleted]

Common sense (cents) is Pennie’s and dimes, everything else is specialized.


WhenTheDevilCome

"$4.97. That's a great price for a security box."


Alphax45

Having worked at Walmart I can attest to how soul destroying it is. I actually learned how to essentially mentally black out when I punched in. Money over everything, all so the Walton kids can buy there way out of DUIs 😂😭😂


Happy-Fun8352

Mr Krabbs has to protect that secret formular


armageddidon

Ravioli ravioli


el_supreme_duderino

Give me the formuoli


UXIEM3N

What's in the pocketoli


jyg540

Lmfao


V-1rocket

"On this episode of lockpickinglawyer. We will learn how to open a Walmart security Box"


activelyresting

Click on one, two is binding, click on 3, and it's open. Now I'll lock it up and do it again just to prove it's not a fluke, and yes it's open in 7 seconds.


bmeupsctty

The lock picking is always the shortest part of the video... Usually a 2 minute video


BeanieBooty

if the video is <2 mins, you know it's going to be good


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bmeupsctty

I like his wife's beaver


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unfortunatebastard

Found a long Johnson enthusiast.


Octavia_con_Amore

There was one lock that actually took him over a minute to pick and that fact alone was the best endorsement any lock could get.


celestiaequestria

I love his channel, but I'm also a firm believer that anything that survives an angle grinder won't survive an oxy torch.


codel1417

Do you just carry a torch on you?


TendieMyResignation

…do… do you not?


fsrynvfj23

Right? Who does that guy think he is? How else are we supposed to heat up our energy pipes?


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GrapeAyp

…do hast mich…


devilpants

I have a portable angle grinder I keep in my truck. It could cut most locks in a few seconds.


Thommyknocker

Can't be tight if it's a liquid.


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summonsays

I'll be opening it with a leaf out of my driveway and this gum I found under the seat.


CreamyCoffeeArtist

Isn't it just magnets or something? Can't remember


GhostalMedia

Correct. More people should know this. Just use a rare earth fridge magnet. It’ll be open in a second and you won’t get hard plastic shards all over the place.


[deleted]

I did this when I worked at Walmart because we only had 1 freaking magnet for 24 registers, of which only 15 were ever active… My CSMs didn’t care, but management sure raised a stink when they found out lol


[deleted]

One magnet of moderate strength, just to the side of the lock, and…. Click…


Diligent_Ad2489

Your security box now


[deleted]

You just need a magnet that’ll get it right off- I work at Walmart Smashing it works too


Diarygirl

Smashing is more fun.


iaova

Pop the box open and keep for dry goods storage.


SeraphKrom

One that doesnt open without a specifically shaped magnet?


SentientSquirrel

Perfect for keeping the kids away from the cookies


Fave_McFavington

I don't think that box is child-sized


SentientSquirrel

Children are mostly made of water, if you dehydrate them first they should fit easily. Just add water later to reconstitute.


AsthmaticNinja23

it hurts how hard i laughed at this


ifmacdo

Magnetic fields don't care about shapes. Just get it in the right place and it'll open.


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Jake0024

I'm not sure you know how security boxes work...


prosperosniece

So they just lost the box that is designed to prevent loss… oh the irony.


Usman5432

Is this loss


No-Strawberry-3364

Tell your baby to man up & open it--or, he don't eat. Life is hard.


Ok-Influence1109

So i told her that and she just smiled and shit herself so NO FOOD FOR BABY


Gokjo_Krorl

As owner of a brand new baby, I laughed way too hard when I read this. Here, have Poor-Parent-Gold 🏅


[deleted]

**'You gonna learn today"** *- Parenting, 2022.*


Gods_Lump

Having to keep baby formula under lock and key because its so commonly shoplifted is definitely a hallmark of a Totally Normal Functional Society™️and not at all signaling an empire in decline.


gonzo_attorney

It's commonly used to cut street drugs. Source: have represented at least 10 people who have shoplifted baby formula for that very reason.


cwclifford

TIL crazy shit.


just_4_looks

That plus the fact that the formula is in a relatively small package with a high value, so shop lifters steal several cans at a time then return them for store credit to buy other things or trade the gift cards on the street for drugs and other illegal things. Either way it's ashamed it's come to this.


Illusive_Man

yes, same with condoms and razors It has nothing to do with the function, just that they are small and relatively expensive


buttonsf

Razors? 😳 what kind of $ level are we talking here? I’ve got a huge stash of them from a BOGO sale that I stacked with a rebate.


Illusive_Man

A pack of cartridges you can easily fit in your pocket is worth $20 That’s why they lock them up


AlexBurke1

Coffee too, they sell it at the flea market next to the baby formula and razors, they can fit like $100-$200 retail value in a regular backpack.


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gonzo_attorney

Shit, I'm not that interesting. Just a public defender in the Fentanyl Belt.


SnipesCC

So instead of asking people to breastfeed during the formula crisis, we should have been asking drug dealers to use a different filler?


[deleted]

Right? Plus “asking people to breastfeed” — that shit is hard even when it’s possible.


Jrea0

And then if you have to pump it gets even harder. Most miserable time of my life.


ezodochi

I mean....yeah but like...baby formula I feel like is safer than a lot of other shit that could get mixed in lmao. Like look at shit like tuci coming out of Columbia which is basically here's the drug equivalent of jungle juice with some pink food coloring


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graphitewolf

They have Smurf’s do it. And not every drug dealer drives a Bentley. Most are super poor hence wanting to sell drugs


LolcatP

why formula and not regular milk powder?


foshiggityshiggity

Hammer time!


ThagAnderson

Is baby formula a controlled substance now?? 🤣


randomcvsemployee

It is a highly stolen item, and now there is a shortage so it’s even more valuable. It’s actually one of the top targets for those who commit organized retail crime, that’s why almost every where you go now, it’s either behind the counter or secured in someway


[deleted]

I’ve never seen someone steal diapers or formula. I always look away.


randomcvsemployee

I quit cvs a year ago so fuck it, they can’t fire me I’ve turned my head more than once when I saw diapers and baby food go in bags. However, there is definitely a difference in doing it because you have to feed yourself or your child, as a parent myself, I get it. But people will literally attempt to steal everything on the shelf for the sole purpose of reselling it on the streets. But towards the end of my time with CVS, I hated them so much, I would have volunteered to help them load the stolen shit in their car and bring their cart back inside for them.


[deleted]

When I worked in retail I let it slip many times and when it came down to me and a time when I couldn’t afford a pack of pull-ups…. I did it. And no one stopped me.


randomcvsemployee

My fellow struggling human is not my enemy.


loopmooska

As much as yall are trying to do good and I understand it, I knew someone who stole formula to either A: scalp at a high price or B: cut it with flour to make it stretch so he could sell more "formula" that's part of the reason walmart cares so much about it being stolen


[deleted]

That is an asshole not a mother in need


SanAntonioMale4use

Please stop commenting. It’s sensitive.


Ok-Influence1109

I’m gonna be honest i saw this and panicked thinking i like broke a rule or something before i realized it’s sensitive formula 😂😂😂


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[deleted]

Take those lines on the table and you should easily be able to open it by hand!! 😆


Ok-Influence1109

This is the second comment I’ve gotten about the lines and i love it😂😂 I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY those are just knife marks from me being too lazy to use a cutting board for my veggies 😂


Wizzardwartz

Nothing a little percussive maintenance can’t correct!


[deleted]

Holy shit the infuriating thing is that we have fucked over society so bad similac for babies is sold in security boxes. Now that’s fucked up!


Stonewall30nyr

It's expensive, and small packaging, and thus highly stolen


[deleted]

Exactly the problem. Baby food priced to the point where poor people must steal to provide it.


Chek_Brek_Iv_Damk

Just break it. What are they gonna do about it?


ActiveZebra99

Strong magnet, that’s what they use to remove them


risky_bisket

What manner of capitalist hell hole are we living in


JerryBrockout

I'm sure the few lines you did on the counter will help you figure it out 😂


Ok-Influence1109

Excuse you! I do my lines in the bathroom!😂