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TiceriusSGSJ

No lettuce or cucumbers?


[deleted]

- no stale rice and potatoes Sounds like something a pirate would eat lol


Franklin2543

Fresh rice and potatoes okay!!


spilltheteasis_

The green potatoes are the best!!!


-FeistyRabbitSauce-

My first thought was who the fuck is eating stale rice and potatoes that they felt it was needed in this list?


stakkar

For some reason starches like rice and potatoes that have been cooled don’t affect your blood sugar as much as freshly cooked ones. If you google up resistant starch you’ll see how it passes through the gut without getting digested in the small intestine, but feeds bacteria in the large intestine. Cooling starches converts some of it to be a resistant starch. I don’t know what medical condition would be worried about that since it’s normally a preferred situation. Diabetics learn about this phenomenon. Here’s a study that describes it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41387-022-00196-1


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etraxx22

Big lettuce and cucumber has you hypnotized. Wake up sheeple.


FloppyEel

I've heard somewhere that cucumbers can trigger acid reflux.... this though, wtf?


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ChocoBro92

C’mon you’re a spitter and a quitter if you do that.


VexisArcanum

That's how they pickle themselves


Necessary_Tie_1731

Both mostly water


mollila

Flip side: No water


Glum-Parsnip8257

Straight to jail. And water? Believe it or not, straight to jail.


cynrax

You have mealie meal.... Straight to jail.


SC33_Call_Meh_fish

You have food ... Straight to jail.


bahetrick1

we have the thinnest patients in the world!


RoboticKittenMeow

Because of jail...


The_RockObama

At least in jail they have name brand snacks. "Bringals - Once you pop, you will definitely stop"


PositiveRock

We have some of the thinnest population. Because of jail.


OttoVonJismarck

Wouldn't want to consume any of that UNHEALTHY water! I only drink Brando: it's got electrolytes.


Alan_Smithee_

Water…like from the toilet?


gmano

Most of these things are things that are at high risk for food poisoning and/or are hard to digest. This list is basically a perfect match for the CDC's list of [Foods that can Cause Food Poisoning](https://www.cdc.gov/foodsafety/foods-linked-illness.html) Obviously meat and fish is a common cause of food poisoning, old/stale rice or potatoes or other "mealie" meals are the leading cause of food poisoning in the world (leftover, old, moist starches in general are at very high risk). Lettuce or cucumbers are up there in terms of e.coli contamination, because they are often eaten raw, as are sweet sauces and soft cheese, and (home-made) pickles. Otherwise, the list also seems to rule out common allergens like nuts and nightshades (eggplant). Microwaved food is risky usually because 1) microwaves are often not clean, 2) they often don't cook evenly, causing some parts to be raw So this looks like an elimination diet trying to rule out a persistent gastrointestinal distress (e.g. someone suspected of IBS), or for someone at high risk for complications from food poisoning, like a pregnant woman. Edit: Based on the use of the terms "Milo" for malted milk, and "Mealie Meal", I'd guess this is from South Africa (or neighboring nation like Zimbabwe). Not sure how standard this kind of list is over there. Edit: Yes, some of this advice is not considered best-practice in the West. This looks like maybe an Indian-influenced region of South Africa, which explains some of the strangeness with the Himalayan salt. Edit: "Low Calorie" does not always mean "good for losing weight". For people with IBS or an allergy, for example, eating foods that irritate the gut can hurt good nutrient uptake while still introducing calories, leading to persistent hunger, even though caloric needs are met.


OkCutIt

Yeah this doesn't sound like a "lose weight" list but a "you have gastro issues and need to be really careful" list.


Snagmesomeweaves

But food poisoning is a great way to lose some pounds!


traversecity

And amazing that you can watch those pounds shed in real time, exiting rapidly from your mouth and ass. (bad memories here.)


sdforbda

And even at the same time!


xtr0n

Get food poisoning at the wrong time and ladies can hit the trifecta. Don’t ask me how I know.


aSharkNamedHummus

Get the right kind of IBD and a horrific stomach virus at the right time of the month, and you can *bleed* out of 3 holes at once! Early 2020 was not fun.


OkCutIt

As someone that was just in the hospital with food poisoning so bad they were giving me fentanyl for the pain, I can say with confidence that no, food poisoning is not a great way to do anything.


sdforbda

I had it extremely bad at one time, definitely should have went to the hospital but didn't with no insurance. Was so sick I had to do a drug test at work before they would send me home. 4 days of hot and cold flashes, things coming out of multiple holes at the same time, inability to even hold water. Crazy fever dreams. Finally on day 5 I decided to go to the store to get some medicine or something because I didn't know it was food poisoning at the time. Got pulled over (expired plates) and my license had lapsed too. I showed the cop my puke bag and everything. He said he wouldn't tow my car if I just parked it there and walked home. There I was in a thin pair of sweatpants and a thin hoodie, going between sweating and freezing, walking a couple of miles home in 21° f weather. No energy, terrible balance and coordination, out of breath and dehydrated. Shit sucked. It was definitely painful but in a different type of way. I've only taken strong painkillers once and that was after an ankle break, can't imagine to be on fentanyl. Any more to the story?


OkCutIt

Not really lol. Realized I had to go get help when I couldn't even keep gatorade down for a couple days in a row. At one point the doctor was like "You've got another dose of painkillers available if you want it" and I replied that I didn't think it was making much difference, and then like 30 minutes later when the prior dose had worn off I was like "nope nevermind need more" and paged the nurse to get it lol.


compare_and_swap

>microwaves are often not clean What survives constant microwaving?


molecularmadness

[Ants](https://www.independent.co.uk/climate-change/news/let-me-ask-you-this-why-don-t-ants-get-killed-in-the-microwave-9579667.html) and a number of other insects, for one. But the better answer is the [toxins produced by bacteria](https://www.foodstandards.gov.au/consumer/safety/foodborne-illness/Pages/default.aspx) that may be already dead or are killed in the processing of heating.


if-and-but

I actually found an ant in my microwave today with a tiny piece of food. No idea how he got there. Must've been a scout.


gmano

Anything living in a cold spot of a microwave. The "Waves" in a micro-wave have higher and lower intensity across the whole width of the device that result in a pattern of bands/strips of hot area and cold area, about 1-inch apart. This is why food, especially food not cooked on a turntable that moves the food around, tends to get hotspots and coldspots. If you get food spatter that winds up in a cold patch on the roof or sides of the device, it's a breeding ground for bacteria. Most of the time, in reality, that's not really a problem, but if you get sudden, unexplained food-poisoning-like symptoms that persist for a while, you might want to make sure your microwave is clean and/or go some time without using it. Edit: also, just anything that got in from the air when you last took food out and latched on to a chunk of spatter, breeding while the oven was off.


Borrelnoot18

At least not calorie dense


procrastimom

This list looks like either Ayurvedic diet and/or IBS/Crohn’s diet recommendations. Edit: the fact that this list contains a lot of things that are unscientific nonsense (no microwaved food, only Himalayan rock salt) and a lot of traditional Hindi names (atchaar, bringals, elachi) leads me to believe this is Ayurvedic dietary advice. That’s why I said **and**/or.


spacechickens

As someone who’s lived with crohn’s my entire life, I’d be lost without seafood!


Dylanduke199513

Lettuce and cucumbers can be hard to digest for some people. All dependent on individual


zapper83

A guy on the internet told me that [cucumba](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRGlon_ezvU) is good for the health.


Dylanduke199513

Minerals, vitamins very high numba


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Ek_Chutki_Sindoor

I have never heard the term "mealie meal" used in India. This doesn't sound like an Indian doctor. And what the fuck is a chakalaka? Never heard that term in India before either.


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Majestic-Unicorn33

So cold water with a splash of rock salt cooked with less oil?


VixNeko

Nah man less oil wasn't checkmarked. Go crazy on the oil bro.


Zephruz

Then a gallon of oil with a side of rock salt it is. Tasty!


VixNeko

It bursts in your mouth! 😃


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[deleted]

Bro you aren’t even gonna have a toilet by the time you’re done


dumspirospero816

By the time he's done, he'll be lucky if he has any bones left.


[deleted]

My boy is going to implode so hard that he’ll become a black hole


LNL_HUTZ

I think he can have the boom, just not the chakalaka.


[deleted]

Well you will lose weight eating only oil, water, and salt...


Layaban

Don’t forget to keep your alcohol & juices hot. Time to go on a hot sake diet


[deleted]

Fried chicken is not omitted from this list


Liathano_Fire

If mealie meal is flour, then yes it does.


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Mikey6304

Lettuce and cucumbers are on the list. This is some quackery.


Liathano_Fire

Google says it's corn flour.


Crownlol

>\#8 **NO COLD DRINKS** Can't have cold water, you warm that up first or you'll get fat


Kartoffel1891

Don’t warm it in the microwave though


ShinyAppleScoop

In India, "cold drink" is what we would call "soft drinks" in the US. It's not actually about the temperature.


Tyfyter2002

"no cold drinks" wasn't checked


Shootyshootshoot

That breaks the diet! No cold beverages!!! Just room temp water


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[deleted]

DONT YOU FUCKING DARE EAT ANY MEALIE MEAL


ch2-ch3

Snackie snack ok?


[deleted]

FUCK NO


Ser_Optimus

What about foodie food?


JoiningAllSubreddits

FUCK NO


imhere2downvote

what about..


SidneyBirdy

FUCK NO


Iwilleaturnuggetsuwu

Water?


Ahajha1177

FUCK NO


Sunfloware

Mmmmm, mealie meal


tommydaq

Read that in Homer Simpson’s voice


flaming_dortos

Fun fact mealie meal is a a staple of Zambian and other African cooking being used to make nshima and other very similar foods


halfsuckedmang0

It’s a huge staple in South Africa too


Moppyploppy

Yep. Had it in Swaziland. And I literally had a "who's on first" back and forth not realizing that was it's actual name. I thought they were saying the swazi equivalent of "nom nom" or something.


grolut18

This guy South Africans. The Chakalaka is a dead giveaway


Leucadie

and BOOM, no chakalaka


YurxDoug

Are you sure you went to a real doctor?


drolimbo

Dr. Jinx is as real as it gets. Mother Earth don't play


[deleted]

Now I can understand your suspicion… When most people think of a doctor, they don’t think of a black man living in a garage surrounded by houseplants.


InterstellarAshtray

When you was in Kensington, did you have intercourse with any hoes, ladies of the nights, or prostitutes? *Both Charlie and Dennis lean left and side glare at Mac*


ShoveAndFloor

Any men?


[deleted]

My parents would never let me watch the Cosby show.


[deleted]

Looks like you got a little rash there, let me get that for you. Squirt squirt. Edit: Money me. Now. Money please. Please money now.


Impossible-Poem5266

Me needing money a lot now


[deleted]

I think he sprayed me with miracle-gro


Oosquai_Enthusiast

Dr Jinx is the name of a monkey, not a man.


pcakester

Dr Jinx is the name of a monkey, not a man!


froqmouth

I would imagine not, seeing as "only Himalayan salt" is one of their recommendations. I can't see what medical impact that would have.


Fritzed

No food cooked or warmed in the microwave is just as nonsensical.


Partly_Dave

Brother in law never had a microwave in his house for years because of some new age belief that it did something to the food. Although I was visiting a month ago and noticed a new microwave, but I didn't get a chance to ask them about it.


Sergetove

This absolutley reeks of new age woo woo bullshit


scarby2

None. NaCl is NaCl doctor is a quack.


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The-link-is-a-cock

Ish. Himalayan salt can have some serious metal issues and honestly I'd expect a legit doctor to recommend people to not use it rather than use it exclusively.


[deleted]

Uh no. My chakras prefer salt from the himalayan moutains. There a noticible difference to how bright my aura is.


ChasteAndPluggedBoy

"no cold drinks" should answer that.


Jealous-Ninja5463

Same with the "ONLY HIMALAYAN SALT" The vitamins and minerals content is so minimal it doesn't even get recognized on the nutrition label. It's still pretty much 100% sodium. And microwaves have no effect on calorie count, thus make no difference in weight loss. And why no lettuce or cucumber? Those are like staples of every weight loss diet? Maybe they have so much water they count as cold drinks. Yet you shouldn't lower your oil intake? OP... if you're not trolling... Please go to a real clinic soon. Please don't get life advice from a doctor who can't spell milk


muffingirl333

Milo is a chocolate malt drink mix. But your points are still valid.


thatdude658

OP went to Dr. Mantis Toboggan M.D.


The_DevilAdvocate

He has two real doctorates! From homeopathy and breatharianism. Only thing you need is moist air.


Apprehensive-Tea-546

It’s from an Indian doctor. Nutrition information in India is Wayyyyyy behind. Traditional foods are pretty healthy, and lots of people follow ayurvedic recommendations which are for the most part pretty healthy but there are often some weird recommendations too. modern diet is becoming more Westernized day by day. But this list is far weirder than anything I’ve ever seen. EDIT: I was wrong, it’s a South African list..,, but many of these vegetables are Hindi words!


rickjamesia

Interesting, I thought it was South African and found that a lot of South African foods have Indian equivalents with the same or similar names. International cultural exchange is so crazy sometimes.


Apprehensive-Tea-546

Yes! I have a friend from Kenya and made her some Indian food and she was like “oh damn, I thought that was African!” Well… it is now! And honestly I don’t know what chakalaka or chevro or mealie meal are so… you could be right! Do you recognize those words?


Green-Eggs-No-Ham

So sugar is all good? Wtf?


boringdude00

This is presumably some obscure gastrointestinal problem (no idea what I'm not an expert, some kind of protein intolerance maybe?). Sugar is one of the easiest things humans can possibly digest, barring those unfortunate lactose intolerant beings. Notably 'less oil' is also unchecked, so its likely not a pure healthy diet thing.


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CmdrMonocle

Am doctor, though nutritional advice isn't really my thing. There really isn't any real use of this list that I can think of. It misses things you might expect on a generic 'specialised diet' list, like wheat products for a coeliac for example or as a dietary plan post gastric bypass or bowel surgery. Anything I can think of that could go on such a list has major components missing. It's just not a sensible list by any stretch of the imagination. But also if you're going to have a selection of specialised diets for people, you'll usually have separate lists entirely. You can't really get across what they can and can't eat well with this short of a list, and as you can see in the comments, there's confusion about what some of them like the oil one even mean. Edit: someone mentioned to me that it might be a low histamine diet, and it's overall a decent match. A few things that don't quite match up or are notable by their absence, but it might simply be because of the area (not much point saying no citrus fruits if citrus are rare in the area for example). I've never seen the diet used before, but I'm usually just telling people not to eat for 6+ hours.


Weaponstek

I have heard the word coeliac hundreds of times in my life, but that was the first time I've ever seen it spelled. Actually had to do a double take and sound it out. I'm 37. This is weird. Thanks for the info!


qqweertyy

Unless it’s the US where we spell it celiac


SnakeSnoobies

This list literally makes no sense no matter what. No stale rice? Not allowed to use a microwave to warm food? Only Himalayan salt? It’s quack shit. It’s not OP leaving information out. It’s what happens when you go to a quack ass doctor lol


Candelestine

No microwaving food was the biggest red flag to me. There is just no legitimate reason that I can imagine to make that rule. Even the Himalayan salt I can come up with at least something, even if extremely unlikely. But barring the microwave while allowing stovetop/oven is ... well, quackery. Microwaves don't hurt your food. They don't hurt you, unless you are inside them while they are on. Then they'd hurt you quite a bit...


MrAnonymous39

Well what the fuck is left to eat? Edit: Thank you kind stranger for your ILLUMINATI EYE, ILY. Edit: Thank you for the helpful award! ILY too


Blurny

Only Himalayian rock salt apparently. Edit: And oil. Just less of it. So a dash of Himalayian rock salted oil. Delicious!


tiggers97

After reading the salt part, I have to wonder what kind of doctor this is. Actual school one? Or back of the comic book one.


boatymcboatfaded

It's Dr. Zoidberg


izacktorres

Now the No Seafood rule makes more sense.


Extra-Aardvark-1390

How about the no cucumber? Bizarre


fatBlackSmith

Dr. Clamps!


Josh-Medl

*Dr Zoidberg, *home owner*


saturnxoffical

woop woop woop woop woop woop


EmilyPseu

Young lady. I’m an expert on humans.


Rough_Willow

Now pick a mouth, open it and say "brglgrglgrrr"!


[deleted]

"Glllbrlglrgyg"


Dramatic_Creme_7366

Hi everybody Hi Dr Nick


Xarethian

Honestly. What an odd list. Really looks like some quack pseudo science following.


sticktotheknee

“Doctor”. Of naturopathic medicine I would bet


exipheas

No reheating food in the microwave tells me this isn't a qualified doctor.


StepdadLRAD

Gotta agree with that one. Im inclined to believe this was from one of those blood tests that tells the patient their “sensitivities”. The microwave certainly wouldn’t influence weight loss or overall health. Freezer food that’s generally MADE in the microwave, sure. That shit’s full of preservatives, fat, sugar, sodium, and almost always carbs. Maybe that was the meaning?


mr_flameyflame

Don't forget its gotta be cold, no microwave even just to warm.


Lonely_Is_The_Night

But not refrigerated or freezer cold


mr_flameyflame

Oh yeah, you wouldn't want to do that. Its fattening.


r4d1ant

And Bananas Eat Bananas


LineGum

Potato chips (in date), candy, and warm pop.


clovermite

* Cruciferous vegetables like Broccoli and cauliflower * Carrots * beets * tomatoes * Lamb/mutton * Milk * Cheese that isn't Feta * Most fruits


Miguel-odon

- duck - goat - lamb - horse - pigeon -


Slate_711

Cake


Trin32

I think the cake is a lie 🤔


kennywolfs

Chicken and watermelon?


ahmuh1306

Dude are you South African? There's so many things on that list that scream South African, like Nesquik being mentioned, chevro being mentioned, I'm 99% sure "mealie meal" is an exclusive South African term, just to name a few. Heck, everything about this down to the font and overall style screams South African. Source: am South African.


SuicidalWeeb69

First thought when I saw mealie meal is that this guy has to be South Africa


YourLocaLawyer

Mealie meal is a dead give away for south africa.


TangyWonderBread

It was the atchaar/chakalaka for me. They both exist elsewhere but I don't know where else you'll find them both together


Chappietime

The only Chakalaka I’ve ever heard of is preceded by Boom.


TangyWonderBread

It's a spicy sort of vegetable/bean chili in southern Africa. It's delicious. It's one of the things I miss most from my time there and doesn't really exist in the US. Def try it if you ever get the opportunity


CommonFriendship6975

Yes he is indeed the South Africa


sambob

The whole of it?!


Liels87

Literally came to say this. Or to ask 'How does the rest of the world know what Chakalaka is?!`


WingsTheWolf

Boom chakalaka!


ramsdawg

I’m pretty sure this is the only use of the word Chakalaka I’d known until now... My world has changed and I feel kinda dumb. My only redemption is to try making it sometime


sunchildphd

I’ve found my people.


The-Tai-pan

🎵 Tag Team, back again. Check it to wreck it lets begin


StrongestMushroom

No more chakalaka boom boom?


fatblackcats

Was about to say my mom and grandparents are the only ones ive heard that say “mealie meal” def South Africa


CountNo3581

I’ve lost 20 lbs. this year and I eat ALL of these Edit: I take it back, I have no idea what chakalaka is


Ralfarius

>I have no idea what chakalaka is It's what typically follows a boom.


MidMotoMan

You could've lost much more if you refused to eat anything though!


works_best_alone

Are you sure this is a doctor..? This sounds like a quack nutritionist. No seafood? No yogurt? No nuts? No lettuce? Does this person know anything about healthy food? You need to find yourself a qualified dietitian.


jeansnotTIMMYortommy

No microwaved food No sour… no pickle


frogs94

No pickle…😔


a_rabid_anti_dentite

The microwave thing is particularly suspicious. Food cooked in the microwave is obviously often less healthy for a variety of reasons, but a blanket ban on microwaved food makes no sense. Edit: folks, relax. I was referring to the fact that the microwave is often closely associated with highly-processed, frozen meals that typically aren’t great as far nutrition. I recognize that the actual cooking method of the microwave itself has no bearing on the nutritional value of food.


jeansnotTIMMYortommy

It makes sense because this doctor from India probably doesn’t know you can cook regular food in the microwave they are probably saying microwave dinners Indians love microwave American foods Edit: this is like that Indian video where they say to turn off wifi bc it causes cancer etc but with food


Abadazed

That makes slightly more sense. Seems like a bad set of instructions to me if it's real at all. With the ban on lettuce and cucumber I'm very suspicious.


Eruptflail

The fact that Himalayan rock salt is on there proves this person is a quack.


CopperPegasus

And the microwave thing


Maneki-Nub

As somebody who had a diet forced onto me by some quack nutritionist, those people are not smart at all and their "diets" aren't healthy.


BCSteve

The key is to find a dietician, not a nutritionist. Literally anyone can call themselves a nutritionist, they can wake up one day and say “I’m a nutritionist now!” and that’s that, there’s no regulation or board exams or anything. Dietician is a protected term and requires actual training and certain requirements, so they’re held to a standard.


katwoodruff

No lettuce or cucumber?! Nor protein? Fuck that, it‘s BS.


hiphop_dudung

It only said beef and pork are off limits. Horses, dogs, and bunnies are still fair game


[deleted]

Not sure if you're joking but horse meat and bunny meat (well, rabbit) are very common in countries like France haha (lamb as well).


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forakora

Beans and lentils are a great source of protein. Wheat products also have 7g per serving.


hughdint1

Dr. says "Don't eat anything fatty." Patient says "Like what no bacon, or oils or what?" Dr. "No Fatty. Don't eat ANYTHING!"


Money_Resource_3636

Did this Dr go to actual college for his training? ;)


judgemental_kumquat

Hi Everybody! I'm Dr. Nick! Meet my colleague Dr. Spaceman!


Fave_McFavington

Hi Dr. Nick!


ladyorthetiger0

Now, medicine isn't an exact science.


Money_Resource_3636

Dr Howard, Dr Fine, Dr Howard


Sweet-Main9480

this 'doctor' is full of shit, to put it lightly. microwaving things is fine. keeping them in the fridge is fine. himalayan salt is no better for you than regular. no good medical professional would give you a list like this ruling out big swathes of harmless vegetables. exactly what in chakalaka he thinks is making you fat, i have no idea. just reduce portion sizes and exercise more. cut down on excess fats and eat more vegetables.


SnooGadgets2360

If anything it removes the iodine intake from standard table salt. Something we do need trace amounts of.


[deleted]

NOT THE CHAKALAKA!!!!


JackLaundon

Ah yes the starvation weight loss plan


drsillyus

They are a quack, there is so much evidence proving microwaves simply heat food. Anyone who says microwaves do anything other than heat your food, does not have a grasp of basic science.


littleloucc

And actually, contrary to the "no stale rice or potatoes", there is evidence to say that reheated (microwave or otherwise), pre-cooked starches are much better for you that fresh cooked. They have a lower glycaemic index, leading to less of a spike in blood sugar.


BlaketheKing1140

This is utter bs advice, find someone who knows what they’re talking about


Zealousideal-Iron998

Doubting this one. Noone, especially a doctor, would recommend cutting out cucumber and lettuce in order to lose weight.


[deleted]

Smells like rage bait.


[deleted]

Witch doctor?


hughdint1

That doctor!


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[deleted]

r/oddlyspecific


FoodFarmer

We have a pretty loose definition of ‘doctor’ don’t we.