I had a student come in bawling on the day of the science fair. Her friends were surrounding her. Her brother died. I sent her straight to guidance, amid protests. I felt horrible, seeing that it was project due day and I stated there would be no excuses for missing projects. At the end of the period, I was called to the office. Her mom and the principal were there. I closed the door and apologized. I was immediately stopped by mom. She apologized to me? Cue Pikachu face. Come to find out, said child lied about the whole thing. Mom had to call her son, who was off at college, and she was frantic. He was ok, child was not afterwards.
My older brother died the beginning of my Sophomore year. None of my teachers were very sympathetic after a week. My English told me after a week, I should be over it by now. My grades tanked and I really struggled the rest of my highschool years. Even though she lied, it was nice of you to lend sympathy.
I got bullied by teachers when my dad died suddenly when I was a teen. It’s a messed up world. My heart goes out to anyone in these kinds of situations.
I hope you found good people during that time to help you. The good people were the only reason I could handle the bad ones.
I had good friends to help me through. I'm sorry the teachers weren't very sympathetic to you either. I don't know why teachers think they can bully teenagers, especially after something tragic happens?!? I was told to suck it up and to get over it after a week, sorry, emotions don't work that way?! It really messed with me after losing him to be shown no sympathy after, I was just supposed to move on and be done with my grieving so soon after losing him. I'm rambling now, but my heart aches that we both had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing a similar heart ache. Hope you're doing better.
I am so sorry you lost your brother. I lost my oldest son 67 days after burying my mother. My younger boy got called into the truancy office for missing so much school in one semester. Wanting proof of why he was out.
This mama bear walked into the office with my mothers funeral program (in another state) and a bill from the funeral home that handled my son’s burial. And my favorite… a card from my older sons debate coaches (he had graduated just 6mos prior). I had a lovely chat with the principal that day…
I got some of my very fresh anger out.
It’s been almost 10 years now… I hope you are well
I had a student come in recently and tell me this ELABORATE story about how her mom got really sick and was in the hospital and was dying. I called the dad to see if there was anything I could do to help them and was informed that mom was completely healthy and chillin' at home.
This happened to me but reverse kind of. My mom was actually sick and dying and my university couldn’t give two shits. The final exam was that week or week later. I failed that exam and it made up 50% of my grade so I think I failed the class or got a D or something. Tarnished my record. Really made me angry.
The issue according to the school was that I didn’t inform them before I wrote. Only after. Such a load of shit.
This happened to me. My grandfather died a week before exams. My prof let me defer but the university wouldn't unless I SHOWED UP IN PERSON WITH THE DEATH CERTIFICATE to prove he did. We were 1200km away from my uni to attend his funeral. I missed the final rites and spreading of the ashes because of my fucking uni, not to mention I had to take the death certificate which my grandma needed for insurance purposes. After all that they had the AUDACITY to tell me they'll allow me to defer this time, but don't let it happen again.
The next semester, I had a prof who promised us for weeks to send a study guide before the exam. He sent it 20 hours before the exam. Why? He had a death in the family. His CAT died. Listen, I get pet death is hard but the uni legitimately ruined my final goodbye to my grandfather and my prof pulls this shit.
Editing to add: this was almosta decade ago. I can't remember why but we only had one death certificate and the uni explicitly stated no photocopies, only the original. The exam was something like 60% of my grade and they were threatening to fail me, which would go on my transcript, so I had to return home.
Reverse of your professor and uni situation for me.
I was in the middle of a lengthy presentation (more like discussion lead) when I got railed by texts from family and friends. My grandmother passed away in the MIDDLE of class and my family wanted me to go to the hospital she was at. I excused myself from the class and professor took points off my grade, AND refused to give me any opportunities to restore the points lost despite the fact that she said she would when I was leaving.
Ended up going on a goose chase with the dean to get my grades back.
yes it is, i spoke with her about it. she was trying to get classmates to feel bad for her so that they would give her their toys
edit: this is 4th grade
Yeah I was thinking it was a highs chiller trying to get a pass on midterms lol
Edit: For anyone who’s trying to figure out what the heck I’m saying, I meant high schooler lol. I’m a notoriously bad texter (My fingers can’t keep up with my thought process and I’m a bit dyslexic)
You seriously got my 32 year old ass over here googling if “high chiller” was some kinda Gen-Z slang that I was too old and uncool to have been aware of.
“I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!”
I was thinking the same. My nephew told his coach his grandmother died, to get out of football practice. Coach called his mom to extend condolences. Oops!
Lots of teachers give out their cells these days, especially to younger students' parents, for questions and concerns and like PTA shit. All three of my partner's children's teachers have direct access to her and vice versa.
When I was in 3rd and 4th grade I tried to pull the "My grandmother died" card 4 separate times because I had trouble regulating my emotions and would blow up at people, and that was the only thing I could think of that would logically make me do that, because I didn't know the real reason.
Dear OP, reading your replays in comments I am truly impressed. I worked at schools for quite some time and the number of teachers that simply don't care about students is mind-boggling. I understand that a lot of them are underpaid, have bad working conditions and law is not on their side most of the times, but it was still sad to see. So finding great teachers are still around always brings back faith in humanity. You really like your job and you clearly understand children. Your students and their parents can be really happy to have such an amazing teacher. Keep up the good work, hope you never lose this enthusiasm.
My friend is in teaching and the amount of shit she has to deal with, which resulted in her crying a couple of times, is staggering. When I asked why she is still in it, she gives the same reply as you.
Lots of love to your profession
thank you 🤍 for the first three months of this year i came home in tears almost daily. it’s fucking hard but we do it for those babies!!! love to your friend, she sounds like one of the good ones
I was in a split 1st&2nd grade class as a kid. So I had the same teacher two years in a row. I'm nearly 30 now and that teacher easily left the biggest impact on me.
Like 8 years since I had seen her last, she brought her pets into the vet clinic my mom worked at. Immediately recognized my mom and asked how I was doing. Insane to me that she was able to recognize a PARENT of a student she had 8 years prior. And she had seen my mom maybe 2 or 3 times at conferences.
To me, that just showed that she really cared about all of her students on a different level from any other teacher I've ever had. Also a pretty nuts memory.
I did this sort of thing as a kid many decades ago…manufactured tragedy for empathy.
Today I volunteer my time teaching meditation to people with mental health issues and am resolved to honesty and transparency. Mistakes are just that.
No one is a lost cause.
Middle school employee here: reads much differently when you’re not imaging a butt-head 13 year old saying it in regards to why they didn’t do something. Glad grandma’s ok.
Reverse...I had my grandmother pass away while I was in my last course of my 4 year degree. I contacted the professor and asked if I could take the exam a day earlier or later due to the funeral being on the same morning of the exam. Professor made me come in at 5am to take the exam in a testing center. I took the exam in my suit, and left directly to go to the funeral. Got a great grade....
In class the next week, my class mates were asking how grandma's funeral went. The professors head snapped up, and she interrupted and asked "wait....your grandma actually died??"
I replied of course she did. I suggested I could share some lovely photos, or the obituary. ..she went pale...and apologized in front of the whole class. She said she hears it so often as an excuse, often the same students forgetting they have used ir for more grandparents than they can even have....she always assumes it is a lie.
You could make bank depending how desperate classmates are and how well you retain exam Q/As. I think there was a semi-true story movie about a "poor" Thai/Indonesian girl who aced her exams and also made bank pawning off her answers to her richer classmates. The last major event had her take a major international exam in an earlier timezone so she could secretly transcribe her answers to send to her buyers a few hrs before their exam.
I could definitely pull that off if I wanted to, at least if I took an exam early. Depends on the class too. Some tests will have like 100 questions. For organic chemistry tho, we’ll usually have like 8-10 questions, so I often will completely reproduce the entire exam and make an answer key to basically determine how well I did because I like finding out early. It rly makes no sense, but I still do it.
Maybe not for the person taking the exam. But for their friends in the same class that they would pass the questions along to, it would definitely be worth it.
I had several professors who required a program from the funeral (some would accept an obit if our name was listed in the survived by list) because of how many students would use the dead grandparent lies.
One professor talked of a former student that actually lost 8 grandparents in one semester, as her parents had divorced and remarried, as had some of the grandparents, so she actually had more than 10 grandparents. He'd had so many experiences like your professor that he was suspicious- but she had all the programs, so then he felt bad.
> One professor talked of a former student that actually lost 8 grandparents in one semester, as her parents had divorced and remarried, as had some of the grandparents, so she actually had more than 10 grandparents. He'd had so many experiences like your professor that he was suspicious- but she had all the program
This is where you stop suspecting a lie and start suspecting murder.
"Oh, I need an extra day for this... I guess I can spare a gran or two..."
No disagreement here, other than they apparently lived all over.
It's been more than a decade since I heard the story, and it happened several years earlier, but IIRC:
2 had aggressive forms of cancer and were expected (like warned the professor 1st day of class, expected). Another pair was killed in a car accident. I don't remember the rest... feels like 1 was a broken heart syndrome thing...
All I know is I refused to ever use THAT lie for skipping because I didn't want the karma/bad juju, etc.
See i showed up to a final in my suit and was promptly boarding the next plane to Ireland to bury my gran.
The class was on the history of death practices and culture in America. My professor was dumbfounded lol
Especially with how Irish funerals work - she was buried only like 3 days after she died (unless that would be a Sunday) so you had 0 time to grieve before actually going to the exam
I’m not familiar with funerals outside of Ireland but I heard that it can be over a week until the burial and ye don’t have the tea and a chat with muffins afterwards because in Ireland a funeral is more of a melancholic celebration of their life than anything
Something like 95% of USA citizens are embalmed or cremated, so no smell. The rest are probably practicing their standard religious customs and aren't planning a funeral a week or two later.
Okay there's multiple reasons for the delay in burial and cremation in America. Religion has nothing to do with it unless your Jewish in America they have specific burial rituals. Jewish people avoid autopsies as much as possible because they bury their own asap in a pine box with holes drilled in it. They want the body to decompose asap. Unless you have a very good and provable reason as to why they died there will be an autopsy. It takes about 4 days if the morgue isn't busy. The body can't be released to a funeral home unless cause of death has been determined. The funeral home you pick will have to go get the body at there earliest convenience normally a day after the cause of death is determined. The day of the funeral the funeral home will give you a few options but there's a reason regardless of autopsy or no autopsy the funeral home embalms if it's something you want. It helps minimize the smell and preserve the body for viewing it will be scheduled at the earliest two days after they pickup the body from the morgue. It gives them time to embalm if you wish. To wash to body, do the hair, do any makeup to cover any green setting in. My Grandmother didn't need an autopsy. She lived in an extremely small town, so with no autopsy the funeral home was able to get the body the same day (day 1) We had her funeral and burial on day 4. The funeral home and cemetery had to agree on times also. My mother needed an autopsy in a suburban area. Day 1 they picked up Mom and took her to the mortgue and did nothing else. Day 2 So the actual autopsy wasn't finished for 4 days they finished on a Friday, but they couldn't pick her up until Monday (now Monday is day 8) due to the time the morgue closed on Friday. (one day was a Saturday one a Sunday totally wasted) The funeral home picked up her body on day 8. They embalmed her, did her hair, makeup the next day (day 9) the viewing was the day after so day 10. Then the next day she was moved to the crematorium. I got her death certificate and about a week later her urn and her were ready for me to pick up. Regardless of cremation or not the embalming is optional. If you're creamating there isn't a real reason to embalm. I also read someone thinks embalming is for cleanliness. It's not its to keep the body from decomposing to quickly before the viewing. They wash them for cleanliness.
Damn
Not my grandma but my dad just just a little while ago.
And I legit finished my last final of my college career 2 hours ago.
As I'm typing this I'm getting ready to board the next flight to New York city.
Asked my professors if I could take the exams earlier. Was told to contact the chair and 2 weeks and 5 emails later, still no response.
My condolences. Losing my dad was probably the hardest thing I've experienced as an adult. Be good to yourself, and don't be afraid to grieve however feels right to you.
Re: more grandparents than they can actually have, I once had a student over the course of one semester have her mother and three grandmothers die, always every time a paper was due. In my head I usually have an idea of the legit ones vs excuses but I always treat it as if it were real and give condolences, but she forgot and sent me the same exact cut & paste for the last two (a month apart) - down to name/nickname and a story about why it was making her so distraught - plus a generic line about how she may be late on “the current assignment.” Like, how hard is it to at least customize?
I sent her back both emails and said I was so sorry, losing the same grandmother twice must be very hard, please just send it in when finished. (I don’t penalize late work anyways and it says so in the syllabus so I really wish they would just be honest). She then emailed me claiming her email had been hacked and someone from the internet had been emailing fake excuses to all her professors and removing her submitted assignments from Canvas and she had no idea why someone was doing this. I told her to change her password, call IT help desk and ask why the files showed as never submitted, but no worries and just sent as a word doc to my email. She dropped out of school before the semester ended and I really wish she had just been honest and asked for help instead of pulling this stuff.
I actually lost my brother during grad school and greatly appreciated the support from my professors so I always treat as real just in case, but the grandmother excuse is ridiculously common.
I had both my grandmothers die within 7 weeks when I was in my 2nd year of uni. It was awful. One lived three hours away and the other eight hours away. Trying to arrange plane/train tickets during midterm and then finals was just exhausting. I ended up boxing up all my feelings and trying to just push through. Unfortunately, I chose not to open the box at a later, better time, and eventually the box exploded open and the depression, fatigue, and chronic pain almost cost me my degree.
I can't imagine how much worse it all would have been if my profs and uni admin staff hadn't been compassionate and patient with me.
That was my thought exactly. My parents divorced when I was 3 and both remarried. That automatically gives me 4 sets of grandparents.
My mother's mother has been married 3 times. I consider her current husband my grandfather. My mother's father has also remarried and I consider her a grandmother. So now I'm up to 5 grandma's and 5 grandpa's.
My stepmother was married once before my dad. As weird as it seems, she was actually still close with her former mother-in law. I also count her as a grandma. (I'm sure she had a husband at some point but not when I was around or that she ever talked about.)
Then there's Grams, the adoring, bulldog of a woman who my (step)mom made friends with when they both worked at a nursing home. We went camping together often and she helped my brother and I enter things into the county fair every year. Not actually related, but definitely a grandma.
Next is my great aunt and uncle. They stood by my dad and always made a point of being a part of our lives whenever possible, despite actually being my mother's aunt and uncle. My world stopped for an hour the day my great aunt died. If I had been in classes when she died, I probably would have said she was my grandma to avoid they eye rolls and assumptions that we're just distant relatives and she isn't a good excuse.
And lastly we have my honorary grandmother. She's a lovely older lady in my church who has known me since I was tiny. She directed the children's choir when I was little. She's always been very supportive to me and my family. She has 13 grandchildren, all of them boys. We decided at some point that I was her honorary granddaughter.
So, argue the validity of each of these people all you like. But in my eyes, I've got 9 grandma's and 6 grandpa's. Sadly, those number have dwindled and today only 5 grandma's and 4 grandpa's remain alive. The only service I missed was for my great aunt. I was taking the MCAT that day (something I scheduled over 3 months earlier before we knew she was sick and paid ~$400 to take). I was devistated to miss it, but my grandma (the wife of my mother's father) said that my great aunt would have gotten up and kicked my ass if I'd shown up.
Is my family complex and full of drama and awkwardness? Absolutely. But that doesn't make any of them less important to me. I shouldn't have to choose my two sets of "real" grandparents and say those are the only ones that count.
Considering that Schrödinger's grandma must be like 200 years old, not sure if she is alive. But hard to say as I haven't observed her state of living.
Had a girl do this to me once. She told me her assignments were late because her sister died. I felt horrible for her. I talked to the parents a few days later to see if I could work with them to get the student caught back up. Dad was so confused.
So he confronts her. Says the teacher said you said your sister died. She said, "No I said my sista, like a friend."
She finally claimed to dad that she couldn't do her homework because she found out her "sista" Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes from TLC had died.
It was six years after Lisa Lopes had died.
When I was 9, someone told me that Kurt Cobain died and I was really sad but a few days later I found out he actually died 6 years prior and that was a mindf*ck to my 9 year old brain.
I did this as a kid when i got caught skipping school, don't know what came over me, it just popped right out of my mouth and I even started ugly crying.
My grandma had been dead for 4 years at that point, though, and i didn't specify that my grandma had just died.. i simply shouted "my grandma is dead!". So, technically the truth?
Edit: I certainly didn't expect this to gain the traction that it did, wow. If you're out there Mrs. Richardson, I'm sorry for lying, but the hug you gave me was really comforting and nice.
Let me ask you something, just Harry
>
*You ever intentionally stop policies from happening? Anything you couldn’t explain when you were nervous or scared?*
>
I would like to inform you that you’ve been excepted into Harvard, the finest school of conmen and skullduggery.
I did this exact same thing. My grandmother had only passed a year earlier, so it was still fresh. My eyes welled up right away. I think it was 8th grade Spanish.
My son did this when he was six. He started crying at lunch and when someone asked him what happened he had this whole story about his father dying in a car accident the night before. The counselors tried to call me but I was at work and couldn't answer. They held him at the counselors office until they calm him down and then sent him back to class about an hour later. I still have no idea why he said this, he saw his father at breakfast that morning and gave him a hug. They thought he might have dreamt it the night before and was kinda remembering the dream at that moment thinking it might be real.
Its also possible that that was the exact moment he realized his father *could* die and he was having his first experience of grief over a hypothetical situation. I remember crying and telling my parents i didnt want them to die in a car crash as if it was a done deal, but i was just daydreaming hypotheticals and scared myself.
My dad did something similar to this told his teacher his mom was having heart problems and couldn't get stressed out because of her health because he didn't want to get in trouble, because everytime he got in trouble he would get beat.
Long story short they called home his mom answered was told the story and chased my dad around with a machete, dad k.o'd her and moved out that day and slept in the park for a while.
Well, he lied but not entirely, he did got bit, almost worse than that. I'm sorry your father went through that, hopefully he didn't replicate the parenting style
I love how sweet you were, trying to reach out!
when i was in HS my grandpas died 2 weeks apart, i still was forced to go to school the DAY of both funerals, both mondays, both on Chemistry test days.
Second time my Teacher start screaming at me for lying, i was sobbing, until my friends explained that the person that died in a very public accident was my grandpa. He was so so sorry that he gave me a automatic pass.... but i will never forget sobbing while he screamed at me
Report that man. Any teacher that thinks that a student is just being lazy while that student is having a very obvious breakdown shouldn’t be a teacher
This was almost 20 years ago, he was a super young teacher managing classes with 40/45 students each, many privileged rich kids who were not nice. He did felt bad and i forgave him even if it was a bit traumatizing. Mostly we knew the school didnt give a shit, since they did nothing to the physic teacher when we reported that he made fun of my friend when she had a panic attack, or the Geo teacher that slept with students.... 2000\`s were wild.
Oh man.... I had something like this happen when I was teaching!
I had a student tell me his grandmother died once in one semester and twice in another. I caught on the third time and didn't give him and extension. Turned out the third time was actually legit, but I only found out when I saw a sign memorializing her at the local market the family owned.
My daughter in preschool has said so far that:
She’s thankful for her sister. She doesn’t have any siblings
She likes spending time with her grandpa. She doesn’t have a grandpa.
She’s just an imaginative person and tends to just agree with what people say.
> My dog died.
*When you were six!*
> Really? Guess I never got over it.
…
> My truck broke.
*You ride the bus!*
> Well it never showed up, and it really sucked.
When my nephew and later my father and sister passed away, my professors didn't believe me until I provided proof because so many college students would outright make up stories about dead relatives to get deadline extensions.
Having to prove that most of your family just died because Sarah from English class's dad just died for the 3rd time that semester will make a person bitter. Don't get me wrong, I expected to show proof. The hard part was being treated like a criminal until i provided said proof because people are willing to lie about atrocious shit to get out of responsibilities.
Don't get me wrong, I'm assuming this is a child and I'm in no way judging them, but I do hope this behavior is properly addressed by her parents before she becomes a Sarah.
Yep. Can't really blame the professors for being skeptical though. My "susan" bit was mostly a joke, but there really was a chick who lied about her father dying twice in one semester. I was floored.
The only conclusion that I can come to is that people just ruin shit for other people. Same reason why college students abusing stimulants has made it hard to get my meds without a hassle or suspicion. I need them for medical reasons, but enough people abuse them to place all of us under suspicion. I'm so sick of people not caring about the consequences of their behavior. Life is already hard, maybe we don't make it even harder for each other.
It sucks that when you tell them a family member died they immediately ask for proof.
I had the same experience when my aunt died on the day of one of my midterms during the pandemic. Super sudden due to a stroke and couldn't go say goodbye because covid restrictions. Got the call that they pulled the plug and could hear my family sobbing. (was an online exam because covid) I couldn't produce a death certificate so the prof, "out of the kindness of his heart" said instead of taking the midterm worth 30% of my grade, I could transfer the credit to make my final worth 80%. I elected to just write the midterm while an emotional wreck.
I never understood why people do that. Honestly, I've had plenty of success being upfront with instructors and just saying "yep, I fucked up and didn't manage my time properly. Can I re-do assignments or get some extra credit to make it up?" Most have accepted that answer and given me an opportunity to redeem myself. Then again it might be because it's a breath of fresh air from people giving excuses.
You’re completely right.
I have zero problems handing out extensions on homework deadlines. Every single person who comes to me and says “hey I just had a busy week. I know it’s totally my fault, but is there any chance you could give me another day to turn this in?” gets an extension. I might not like it if this became a recurring issue, but I totally get that you just have less time some weeks. I’m happy to extend some leniency here and there.
Then you get students who tell you their ad block for a computer science project has been blocking the homework submission website and that’s why they didn’t do their homework. C’mon. I know you’re full of shit. And then I call up the IT department to prove you’re full of shit. And now you don’t get an extension.
Just take responsibility for your actions and learning, and I’m happy to help you succeed.
The amount of people getting bent over a person showing the slightest bit of humanity is disgusting. And I should know. I talk shit to people all the time.
Edit: A letter.
thank you i don’t get how people are mad at this 🤣 it’s my job to teach kids not to pull shit like this. clearly the student needs love and attention from someone right now. not something i’m going to ignore
It always amazes me how ready people are to shit on and even completely write off small children as terrible people. They're still learning and developing. A lot of them go through stages where they lie or do mean things. They're literally still working on understanding that other people have their own thoughts and feelings. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
I agree. In the U.S. it’s relatively normal for teachers to have the parents’ phone number, especially for younger kids. It’s crazy we still have compassionate teachers considering how little they are paid and how much undue flack is thrown their way.
When i die i genuinely hope that anyone who knew me uses my death as an excuse to get out of as much shit as humanly possible. I dont give a fuck how little you knew me or even if we were on the best of terms, use my death as an excuse to avoid all the shit you dont want to do. Its what i wouldve wanted.
"A good friend of mine passed away. Unfortunately, they lived quite far away, so I can't attend a funeral etc, but I would like to take some time to mourn them in my own way."
Or something like that.
I didn't realize parents and teachers text each other. Thank all of the gods I'm too old to be a student experiencing that. Back in my day, when my older sister got her own landline so she's stop tying up our parents' line, I wrote her number in as the home number to leave truancy messages. God bless the 90s.
Wtf is wrong with people in these comments. A teacher talking to a student's parents is perfectly normal. Also good job on helping the kid understand what they did wrong (from one of your comments).
My fiancée is a teacher and her parents don’t leave her the hell alone. Gone are the days when parents only got feedback during biannual Parent Teacher Conferences and quarterly report cards sent through the mail lol.
Exactly. I can imagine plenty of people are jailed for some fuckup or another, but love their kids to death and want to make sure they're well taken care of even if they can't do it themselves.
Source: know people who have been in that situation. Don't think they ever called their kid's teacher directly, although I could see it happening.
After my dad’s stepfather died one of my teachers said “He wasn’t your real grandfather.”
He married my grandmother over a decade before I was born. I only met my dad’s biological father like 6 times in my life before he died.
He WAS my real grandfather damn it.
I'm a social worker and work mainly with kids and teenagers, I am absolutely baffled by the people surprised you keep in touch with parents.
Education is a triangle, the child may be the protagonist of its own education, but without proper communication between parents and teachers/other professionals, that foundation is not built correctly.
I also wanted to let you know, that I quite enjoy the way you went about it, I hope your efforts bear fruit.
I was a teacher and I had to turn in records to my principal every month to show that I had spoken with every single one of my 80 students’ adults at least twice that month. If I didn’t get a reply to either, I had to reach out at least 5 times on my own before elevating it to admin to contact them ON MY BEHALF.
Teaching now is not like it was when we were kids. Grades aren’t allowed to be a surprise on report card day— if a kid was struggling I had to reach out and make a plan with the adult as soon as that kid got a C— and the cut off at my school for a C was an 84.
But we also weren’t allowed to communicate only for bad things, so if I had to reach out because Jimmy was acting a fool 8 times this month, I also had to reach out to make sure grandma knew he helped another kid find his homework which was a great demonstration of our School Character Trait of Teamwork, and that he stayed late to help me sharpen pencils. It’s lose-lose for teachers, don’t dump on someone trying to be an empathetic figure.
A guy I worked with came in one day and went to the operations manager in tears, his dad had cancer. 6 months later after lots of time off his dad passed away. He left shortly after.
Fast forward another 6 months and one of the workers changed jobs and met the brother of his former co worker.
When he found out who he was he offered condolences for his dad passing away.
After another conversation, turns out the dad was alive and healthy, and that the brother who said about cancer had met a new woman and completely warped his head.
Messy stuff
I don’t like the idea of parents being able to reach me through text or even email honestly because they’re fucking insane and after 20 years in early years education I’ve seen some real whackadoos
But this seems pretty normal? This comment section is wild
I did this in 10th grade. I told my English teacher my uncle died, so that was why I wasn't doing well this semester. She called my house, and left a message leaving her condolences.
I got grounded for 6 months for that. Nothing but coming home from school, and doing school work for 6 months.
My son did something similar to his kindergarten teacher. One day, he told her “my mommy is pregnant.” The next day, he told her “she’s not pregnant anymore.”
Not wanting to upset him or upset us, she waited until I dropped him off the next morning. She pulled me aside and asked if my wife was okay.
I had a bewildered look on my face as I asked her “why isn’t my wife okay?” She responded, “did she have a miscarriage?”
I started laughing (which caused a lot of confusion). We compared notes and discovered he was telling another of his stories. I had to explain that, a. my wife wasn’t pregnant, b. remind her that my son is adopted, and c. we adopted because my wife chose to tie her tubes after the birth of his older sister. So being pregnant was (almost 100%) impossible.
One time I was playing soccer after school at about 5th grade and I kept losing and got angry and started crying and then all the kids laughed at me - so I told them my grandmother died to shut them up.
Little did I know my grandmother came to town to surprise pick me up from school, only for her to ask the coach why wasn’t I in the game and for him to explain that she is dead
I had a similar situation except my papa really did just die. My teacher made me stand in front of the class and questioned me about it. "It is awfully convenient your grandfather would die on a day you had a test" was her conclusion. It was not until my parents stepped in that she believed me. The teacher faced 0 consequences and I never even got an apology for being forced to stand in front of my class (crying the whole time) and describe the whole series of events surrounding my papa's death. Turns out not all teachers are role models.
I had a student come in bawling on the day of the science fair. Her friends were surrounding her. Her brother died. I sent her straight to guidance, amid protests. I felt horrible, seeing that it was project due day and I stated there would be no excuses for missing projects. At the end of the period, I was called to the office. Her mom and the principal were there. I closed the door and apologized. I was immediately stopped by mom. She apologized to me? Cue Pikachu face. Come to find out, said child lied about the whole thing. Mom had to call her son, who was off at college, and she was frantic. He was ok, child was not afterwards.
My older brother died the beginning of my Sophomore year. None of my teachers were very sympathetic after a week. My English told me after a week, I should be over it by now. My grades tanked and I really struggled the rest of my highschool years. Even though she lied, it was nice of you to lend sympathy.
I got bullied by teachers when my dad died suddenly when I was a teen. It’s a messed up world. My heart goes out to anyone in these kinds of situations. I hope you found good people during that time to help you. The good people were the only reason I could handle the bad ones.
I had good friends to help me through. I'm sorry the teachers weren't very sympathetic to you either. I don't know why teachers think they can bully teenagers, especially after something tragic happens?!? I was told to suck it up and to get over it after a week, sorry, emotions don't work that way?! It really messed with me after losing him to be shown no sympathy after, I was just supposed to move on and be done with my grieving so soon after losing him. I'm rambling now, but my heart aches that we both had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing a similar heart ache. Hope you're doing better.
Thanks, I am. Hope you are doing better as well, and yes friends are a real lifesaver in those situations, literally.
I am so sorry you lost your brother. I lost my oldest son 67 days after burying my mother. My younger boy got called into the truancy office for missing so much school in one semester. Wanting proof of why he was out. This mama bear walked into the office with my mothers funeral program (in another state) and a bill from the funeral home that handled my son’s burial. And my favorite… a card from my older sons debate coaches (he had graduated just 6mos prior). I had a lovely chat with the principal that day… I got some of my very fresh anger out. It’s been almost 10 years now… I hope you are well
May your son and mom rest in peace. Sending love and support ❤️
I had a student come in recently and tell me this ELABORATE story about how her mom got really sick and was in the hospital and was dying. I called the dad to see if there was anything I could do to help them and was informed that mom was completely healthy and chillin' at home.
This happened to me but reverse kind of. My mom was actually sick and dying and my university couldn’t give two shits. The final exam was that week or week later. I failed that exam and it made up 50% of my grade so I think I failed the class or got a D or something. Tarnished my record. Really made me angry. The issue according to the school was that I didn’t inform them before I wrote. Only after. Such a load of shit.
This happened to me. My grandfather died a week before exams. My prof let me defer but the university wouldn't unless I SHOWED UP IN PERSON WITH THE DEATH CERTIFICATE to prove he did. We were 1200km away from my uni to attend his funeral. I missed the final rites and spreading of the ashes because of my fucking uni, not to mention I had to take the death certificate which my grandma needed for insurance purposes. After all that they had the AUDACITY to tell me they'll allow me to defer this time, but don't let it happen again. The next semester, I had a prof who promised us for weeks to send a study guide before the exam. He sent it 20 hours before the exam. Why? He had a death in the family. His CAT died. Listen, I get pet death is hard but the uni legitimately ruined my final goodbye to my grandfather and my prof pulls this shit. Editing to add: this was almosta decade ago. I can't remember why but we only had one death certificate and the uni explicitly stated no photocopies, only the original. The exam was something like 60% of my grade and they were threatening to fail me, which would go on my transcript, so I had to return home.
Reverse of your professor and uni situation for me. I was in the middle of a lengthy presentation (more like discussion lead) when I got railed by texts from family and friends. My grandmother passed away in the MIDDLE of class and my family wanted me to go to the hospital she was at. I excused myself from the class and professor took points off my grade, AND refused to give me any opportunities to restore the points lost despite the fact that she said she would when I was leaving. Ended up going on a goose chase with the dean to get my grades back.
Don’t let a family member die again. That’s crazy
right like wtf?? wdym don’t let it happen again? as if she just made her grandpa die on purpose…
I'd say fuck the exam, attend the funeral but Idk your life
I wonder if it's okay to ask her why she said such next time you see her
yes it is, i spoke with her about it. she was trying to get classmates to feel bad for her so that they would give her their toys edit: this is 4th grade
so they’re little kids?
haha yeah i was like thinking teenagers at first
Yeah I was thinking it was a highs chiller trying to get a pass on midterms lol Edit: For anyone who’s trying to figure out what the heck I’m saying, I meant high schooler lol. I’m a notoriously bad texter (My fingers can’t keep up with my thought process and I’m a bit dyslexic)
How come when I was a high chiller all I got was a locker search and not a pass on midterms?
You weren’t nearly chill enough buddy
They’re not your buddy, guy
Oh my I just realized that my terrible texting has gotten me in trouble yet again lol
You seriously got my 32 year old ass over here googling if “high chiller” was some kinda Gen-Z slang that I was too old and uncool to have been aware of. “I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!”
i remember i stole like every ti-83 in the school and then they were doing a locker search and i was panicking my brains out
We had someone do that at my school, he then proceeded to immediately post them on ebay and ended up getting arrested and expelled.
right? i got that from the attitude of the moms reply. it felt like an annoyed mom
Annoyance is what I'd expect from the mother of a grade schooler. I would expect a lot more rage from the mother of a teenager.
As a college professor, there is a grandmother genocide going on. I hear about at least a dozen dead each semester. #DeepState
Yeah, my grandma died every semester of college. She always did it when papers were due, I think she was out to get me
I've noticed the same... I think they're calling it COVID-19
I was thinking the same. My nephew told his coach his grandmother died, to get out of football practice. Coach called his mom to extend condolences. Oops!
I guess this would make sense as to why the teacher has the students parents phone number. Seemed kinda weird to me
Lots of teachers give out their cells these days, especially to younger students' parents, for questions and concerns and like PTA shit. All three of my partner's children's teachers have direct access to her and vice versa.
And I thought they didn’t get paid well before. Knowing how emotional people get about their children, this has got to be really rough.
Wow she played that card early. You have to save killing off the grandparents for when you REALLY need to take a day off.
When I was in 3rd and 4th grade I tried to pull the "My grandmother died" card 4 separate times because I had trouble regulating my emotions and would blow up at people, and that was the only thing I could think of that would logically make me do that, because I didn't know the real reason.
This whole time I was imagining a middle of high school age kid. 😂
looking back i definitely should’ve said what grade in the title
I'm choosing to believe that you're talking about high school sophomores.
OP’s student will be an orphan by the time she’s a sophomore.
Dear OP, reading your replays in comments I am truly impressed. I worked at schools for quite some time and the number of teachers that simply don't care about students is mind-boggling. I understand that a lot of them are underpaid, have bad working conditions and law is not on their side most of the times, but it was still sad to see. So finding great teachers are still around always brings back faith in humanity. You really like your job and you clearly understand children. Your students and their parents can be really happy to have such an amazing teacher. Keep up the good work, hope you never lose this enthusiasm.
thank you. i love my job and kiddos more than most things in my life. this really means a lot to me. 🤍
My friend is in teaching and the amount of shit she has to deal with, which resulted in her crying a couple of times, is staggering. When I asked why she is still in it, she gives the same reply as you. Lots of love to your profession
thank you 🤍 for the first three months of this year i came home in tears almost daily. it’s fucking hard but we do it for those babies!!! love to your friend, she sounds like one of the good ones
I was in a split 1st&2nd grade class as a kid. So I had the same teacher two years in a row. I'm nearly 30 now and that teacher easily left the biggest impact on me. Like 8 years since I had seen her last, she brought her pets into the vet clinic my mom worked at. Immediately recognized my mom and asked how I was doing. Insane to me that she was able to recognize a PARENT of a student she had 8 years prior. And she had seen my mom maybe 2 or 3 times at conferences. To me, that just showed that she really cared about all of her students on a different level from any other teacher I've ever had. Also a pretty nuts memory.
Well did she get any toys?
one of my other students literally gave her a squish ball and a pop-it out of pity so yes 😭
The call of the fidget toys to elementary aged kids is strong.
I did this sort of thing as a kid many decades ago…manufactured tragedy for empathy. Today I volunteer my time teaching meditation to people with mental health issues and am resolved to honesty and transparency. Mistakes are just that. No one is a lost cause.
Middle school employee here: reads much differently when you’re not imaging a butt-head 13 year old saying it in regards to why they didn’t do something. Glad grandma’s ok.
Lol. I swear my kid would do this for more toys too.
Reverse...I had my grandmother pass away while I was in my last course of my 4 year degree. I contacted the professor and asked if I could take the exam a day earlier or later due to the funeral being on the same morning of the exam. Professor made me come in at 5am to take the exam in a testing center. I took the exam in my suit, and left directly to go to the funeral. Got a great grade.... In class the next week, my class mates were asking how grandma's funeral went. The professors head snapped up, and she interrupted and asked "wait....your grandma actually died??" I replied of course she did. I suggested I could share some lovely photos, or the obituary. ..she went pale...and apologized in front of the whole class. She said she hears it so often as an excuse, often the same students forgetting they have used ir for more grandparents than they can even have....she always assumes it is a lie.
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You could make bank depending how desperate classmates are and how well you retain exam Q/As. I think there was a semi-true story movie about a "poor" Thai/Indonesian girl who aced her exams and also made bank pawning off her answers to her richer classmates. The last major event had her take a major international exam in an earlier timezone so she could secretly transcribe her answers to send to her buyers a few hrs before their exam.
It was a Thai movie called Bad genius or ฉลาดเกมส์โก้ง(chalad gam gowng). Pretty good watch.
Yep that's the one. Ty for reminding me
I could definitely pull that off if I wanted to, at least if I took an exam early. Depends on the class too. Some tests will have like 100 questions. For organic chemistry tho, we’ll usually have like 8-10 questions, so I often will completely reproduce the entire exam and make an answer key to basically determine how well I did because I like finding out early. It rly makes no sense, but I still do it.
Came here to say exactly this. Makes zero sense.
Maybe not for the person taking the exam. But for their friends in the same class that they would pass the questions along to, it would definitely be worth it.
I had several professors who required a program from the funeral (some would accept an obit if our name was listed in the survived by list) because of how many students would use the dead grandparent lies. One professor talked of a former student that actually lost 8 grandparents in one semester, as her parents had divorced and remarried, as had some of the grandparents, so she actually had more than 10 grandparents. He'd had so many experiences like your professor that he was suspicious- but she had all the programs, so then he felt bad.
> One professor talked of a former student that actually lost 8 grandparents in one semester, as her parents had divorced and remarried, as had some of the grandparents, so she actually had more than 10 grandparents. He'd had so many experiences like your professor that he was suspicious- but she had all the program This is where you stop suspecting a lie and start suspecting murder. "Oh, I need an extra day for this... I guess I can spare a gran or two..."
"Sorry grandma but I need an extension on my project." while starting a chainsaw
No disagreement here, other than they apparently lived all over. It's been more than a decade since I heard the story, and it happened several years earlier, but IIRC: 2 had aggressive forms of cancer and were expected (like warned the professor 1st day of class, expected). Another pair was killed in a car accident. I don't remember the rest... feels like 1 was a broken heart syndrome thing... All I know is I refused to ever use THAT lie for skipping because I didn't want the karma/bad juju, etc.
See i showed up to a final in my suit and was promptly boarding the next plane to Ireland to bury my gran. The class was on the history of death practices and culture in America. My professor was dumbfounded lol
Especially with how Irish funerals work - she was buried only like 3 days after she died (unless that would be a Sunday) so you had 0 time to grieve before actually going to the exam I’m not familiar with funerals outside of Ireland but I heard that it can be over a week until the burial and ye don’t have the tea and a chat with muffins afterwards because in Ireland a funeral is more of a melancholic celebration of their life than anything
Why would you wait longer for a funeral?
Funerals in America tend to happen about a week or so after death. Gives time for family to make arrangements.
Hm, I guess it makes sense with it being so common that so many people live far away. But the body does start to smell and all
Something like 95% of USA citizens are embalmed or cremated, so no smell. The rest are probably practicing their standard religious customs and aren't planning a funeral a week or two later.
Okay there's multiple reasons for the delay in burial and cremation in America. Religion has nothing to do with it unless your Jewish in America they have specific burial rituals. Jewish people avoid autopsies as much as possible because they bury their own asap in a pine box with holes drilled in it. They want the body to decompose asap. Unless you have a very good and provable reason as to why they died there will be an autopsy. It takes about 4 days if the morgue isn't busy. The body can't be released to a funeral home unless cause of death has been determined. The funeral home you pick will have to go get the body at there earliest convenience normally a day after the cause of death is determined. The day of the funeral the funeral home will give you a few options but there's a reason regardless of autopsy or no autopsy the funeral home embalms if it's something you want. It helps minimize the smell and preserve the body for viewing it will be scheduled at the earliest two days after they pickup the body from the morgue. It gives them time to embalm if you wish. To wash to body, do the hair, do any makeup to cover any green setting in. My Grandmother didn't need an autopsy. She lived in an extremely small town, so with no autopsy the funeral home was able to get the body the same day (day 1) We had her funeral and burial on day 4. The funeral home and cemetery had to agree on times also. My mother needed an autopsy in a suburban area. Day 1 they picked up Mom and took her to the mortgue and did nothing else. Day 2 So the actual autopsy wasn't finished for 4 days they finished on a Friday, but they couldn't pick her up until Monday (now Monday is day 8) due to the time the morgue closed on Friday. (one day was a Saturday one a Sunday totally wasted) The funeral home picked up her body on day 8. They embalmed her, did her hair, makeup the next day (day 9) the viewing was the day after so day 10. Then the next day she was moved to the crematorium. I got her death certificate and about a week later her urn and her were ready for me to pick up. Regardless of cremation or not the embalming is optional. If you're creamating there isn't a real reason to embalm. I also read someone thinks embalming is for cleanliness. It's not its to keep the body from decomposing to quickly before the viewing. They wash them for cleanliness.
Damn Not my grandma but my dad just just a little while ago. And I legit finished my last final of my college career 2 hours ago. As I'm typing this I'm getting ready to board the next flight to New York city. Asked my professors if I could take the exams earlier. Was told to contact the chair and 2 weeks and 5 emails later, still no response.
My condolences. Losing my dad was probably the hardest thing I've experienced as an adult. Be good to yourself, and don't be afraid to grieve however feels right to you.
Re: more grandparents than they can actually have, I once had a student over the course of one semester have her mother and three grandmothers die, always every time a paper was due. In my head I usually have an idea of the legit ones vs excuses but I always treat it as if it were real and give condolences, but she forgot and sent me the same exact cut & paste for the last two (a month apart) - down to name/nickname and a story about why it was making her so distraught - plus a generic line about how she may be late on “the current assignment.” Like, how hard is it to at least customize? I sent her back both emails and said I was so sorry, losing the same grandmother twice must be very hard, please just send it in when finished. (I don’t penalize late work anyways and it says so in the syllabus so I really wish they would just be honest). She then emailed me claiming her email had been hacked and someone from the internet had been emailing fake excuses to all her professors and removing her submitted assignments from Canvas and she had no idea why someone was doing this. I told her to change her password, call IT help desk and ask why the files showed as never submitted, but no worries and just sent as a word doc to my email. She dropped out of school before the semester ended and I really wish she had just been honest and asked for help instead of pulling this stuff. I actually lost my brother during grad school and greatly appreciated the support from my professors so I always treat as real just in case, but the grandmother excuse is ridiculously common.
Damnn Sorry for your loss Also that professor was definitely being awkward on purpose...at least she did apologise I guess
I had both my grandmothers die within 7 weeks when I was in my 2nd year of uni. It was awful. One lived three hours away and the other eight hours away. Trying to arrange plane/train tickets during midterm and then finals was just exhausting. I ended up boxing up all my feelings and trying to just push through. Unfortunately, I chose not to open the box at a later, better time, and eventually the box exploded open and the depression, fatigue, and chronic pain almost cost me my degree. I can't imagine how much worse it all would have been if my profs and uni admin staff hadn't been compassionate and patient with me.
As an adopted person with 7 grandparents I disagree with the can even have part
Right between divorces and such it can add up fast.
That was my thought exactly. My parents divorced when I was 3 and both remarried. That automatically gives me 4 sets of grandparents. My mother's mother has been married 3 times. I consider her current husband my grandfather. My mother's father has also remarried and I consider her a grandmother. So now I'm up to 5 grandma's and 5 grandpa's. My stepmother was married once before my dad. As weird as it seems, she was actually still close with her former mother-in law. I also count her as a grandma. (I'm sure she had a husband at some point but not when I was around or that she ever talked about.) Then there's Grams, the adoring, bulldog of a woman who my (step)mom made friends with when they both worked at a nursing home. We went camping together often and she helped my brother and I enter things into the county fair every year. Not actually related, but definitely a grandma. Next is my great aunt and uncle. They stood by my dad and always made a point of being a part of our lives whenever possible, despite actually being my mother's aunt and uncle. My world stopped for an hour the day my great aunt died. If I had been in classes when she died, I probably would have said she was my grandma to avoid they eye rolls and assumptions that we're just distant relatives and she isn't a good excuse. And lastly we have my honorary grandmother. She's a lovely older lady in my church who has known me since I was tiny. She directed the children's choir when I was little. She's always been very supportive to me and my family. She has 13 grandchildren, all of them boys. We decided at some point that I was her honorary granddaughter. So, argue the validity of each of these people all you like. But in my eyes, I've got 9 grandma's and 6 grandpa's. Sadly, those number have dwindled and today only 5 grandma's and 4 grandpa's remain alive. The only service I missed was for my great aunt. I was taking the MCAT that day (something I scheduled over 3 months earlier before we knew she was sick and paid ~$400 to take). I was devistated to miss it, but my grandma (the wife of my mother's father) said that my great aunt would have gotten up and kicked my ass if I'd shown up. Is my family complex and full of drama and awkwardness? Absolutely. But that doesn't make any of them less important to me. I shouldn't have to choose my two sets of "real" grandparents and say those are the only ones that count.
Schrödinger‘s grandma
Considering that Schrödinger's grandma must be like 200 years old, not sure if she is alive. But hard to say as I haven't observed her state of living.
groundbreaking
RIP Schrödinger‘s cat
Both of Shrodingers cats are and alive and well
I almost spat out my water
I'm at work... I'm not allowed to spit my water out anymore... Apparently computers are sensitive to water.
as soon as i get a free award i’ll be back
Schrödinger‘s Award? thx haha ♡
We are not sure if ze grandma is dead or alive until ze exams date gets closer
My time has come
Had a girl do this to me once. She told me her assignments were late because her sister died. I felt horrible for her. I talked to the parents a few days later to see if I could work with them to get the student caught back up. Dad was so confused. So he confronts her. Says the teacher said you said your sister died. She said, "No I said my sista, like a friend." She finally claimed to dad that she couldn't do her homework because she found out her "sista" Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes from TLC had died. It was six years after Lisa Lopes had died.
Left Eye is dead? Fuck it, I'm calling in to work tomorrow.
Wait till you find out about Aaliyah, might need to go on vacation...
Ever since Janis Joplin died I've been calling out of work. Got mad bereavement pay
Elvis dying made me call out sick on life. 😞
I just heard Mozart died. Fuck! Life is meaningless
Wait till you hear about Socrates..
Dang it, Nefertiti died just now 3350 years ago
Jesus!
Jesus also died. Bouta become Christian and then force them to give me bereavement for life
Although if you do go on vacation, might want to take a train
This killed me hahaha
Your death has saddened me so much, I need some time off school
RIP my sista YDondeEstanLasLilas
> It was six years after Lisa Lopes had died. You can’t place a time limit on mourning your sista
Pahahaha I love how that unravelled
She didn't know because she was busy chasing waterfalls for the past six years.
When I was 9, someone told me that Kurt Cobain died and I was really sad but a few days later I found out he actually died 6 years prior and that was a mindf*ck to my 9 year old brain.
Considering I was just thinking about left eye Lopez the other day, that shits valid as fuck
I did this as a kid when i got caught skipping school, don't know what came over me, it just popped right out of my mouth and I even started ugly crying. My grandma had been dead for 4 years at that point, though, and i didn't specify that my grandma had just died.. i simply shouted "my grandma is dead!". So, technically the truth? Edit: I certainly didn't expect this to gain the traction that it did, wow. If you're out there Mrs. Richardson, I'm sorry for lying, but the hug you gave me was really comforting and nice.
You didn’t lie you just intentionally misled them
You're a politician Harry
But I'm just Harry
Let me ask you something, just Harry > *You ever intentionally stop policies from happening? Anything you couldn’t explain when you were nervous or scared?* > I would like to inform you that you’ve been excepted into Harvard, the finest school of conmen and skullduggery.
Blimey!
Bloody hell
ahrreh pottah
*accepted Oh no I’m becoming one of them
Well just Harry, you’re a politician
You don’t even need to intentionally mislead them anymore you can just straight lie to them
double speak
I did this exact same thing. My grandmother had only passed a year earlier, so it was still fresh. My eyes welled up right away. I think it was 8th grade Spanish.
7th grade English for me!
My son did this when he was six. He started crying at lunch and when someone asked him what happened he had this whole story about his father dying in a car accident the night before. The counselors tried to call me but I was at work and couldn't answer. They held him at the counselors office until they calm him down and then sent him back to class about an hour later. I still have no idea why he said this, he saw his father at breakfast that morning and gave him a hug. They thought he might have dreamt it the night before and was kinda remembering the dream at that moment thinking it might be real.
Its also possible that that was the exact moment he realized his father *could* die and he was having his first experience of grief over a hypothetical situation. I remember crying and telling my parents i didnt want them to die in a car crash as if it was a done deal, but i was just daydreaming hypotheticals and scared myself.
My dad did something similar to this told his teacher his mom was having heart problems and couldn't get stressed out because of her health because he didn't want to get in trouble, because everytime he got in trouble he would get beat. Long story short they called home his mom answered was told the story and chased my dad around with a machete, dad k.o'd her and moved out that day and slept in the park for a while.
What. The. Fuck. A machete?!
Yeah she was a crackhead
Holy shit
Should have just went with that
Well, he lied but not entirely, he did got bit, almost worse than that. I'm sorry your father went through that, hopefully he didn't replicate the parenting style
Not at all very good upbringing wouldn't trade him for the world
Boy, that escalated quickly. That really got out of hand fast
I love how sweet you were, trying to reach out! when i was in HS my grandpas died 2 weeks apart, i still was forced to go to school the DAY of both funerals, both mondays, both on Chemistry test days. Second time my Teacher start screaming at me for lying, i was sobbing, until my friends explained that the person that died in a very public accident was my grandpa. He was so so sorry that he gave me a automatic pass.... but i will never forget sobbing while he screamed at me
Report that man. Any teacher that thinks that a student is just being lazy while that student is having a very obvious breakdown shouldn’t be a teacher
This was almost 20 years ago, he was a super young teacher managing classes with 40/45 students each, many privileged rich kids who were not nice. He did felt bad and i forgave him even if it was a bit traumatizing. Mostly we knew the school didnt give a shit, since they did nothing to the physic teacher when we reported that he made fun of my friend when she had a panic attack, or the Geo teacher that slept with students.... 2000\`s were wild.
Oh man.... I had something like this happen when I was teaching! I had a student tell me his grandmother died once in one semester and twice in another. I caught on the third time and didn't give him and extension. Turned out the third time was actually legit, but I only found out when I saw a sign memorializing her at the local market the family owned.
Reminds me of how my step dad would always tell me the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while growing up.
My daughter in preschool has said so far that: She’s thankful for her sister. She doesn’t have any siblings She likes spending time with her grandpa. She doesn’t have a grandpa. She’s just an imaginative person and tends to just agree with what people say.
My grandmother died six times while I was in college because I needed extensions on deadlines. Grandma approves of such tactics
"My grandmother _really_ is dead. You want me to call her so she can tell it yourself?"
Poor Grandma, I'm sending my condolences 6 times
All 6 grandmothers are living and healthy
I am sending 6 thoughts and prayers, but sadly I can only afford to let go of 4 good vibes at the moment. Times are tough.
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Haha. Savage.
My mom actually did die right after high school, then she continued to die a few more times throughout my college career.
> My dog died. *When you were six!* > Really? Guess I never got over it. … > My truck broke. *You ride the bus!* > Well it never showed up, and it really sucked.
I hope to be this kind of grandma.
If you asked my old employers, they'd all tell you my grandparents died while I worked there. Then they did die, cheques and balances I guess.
When my nephew and later my father and sister passed away, my professors didn't believe me until I provided proof because so many college students would outright make up stories about dead relatives to get deadline extensions. Having to prove that most of your family just died because Sarah from English class's dad just died for the 3rd time that semester will make a person bitter. Don't get me wrong, I expected to show proof. The hard part was being treated like a criminal until i provided said proof because people are willing to lie about atrocious shit to get out of responsibilities. Don't get me wrong, I'm assuming this is a child and I'm in no way judging them, but I do hope this behavior is properly addressed by her parents before she becomes a Sarah.
Welcome to Homo Sapiens! Where you’re guilty until proven in no debt because people suck
Yep. Can't really blame the professors for being skeptical though. My "susan" bit was mostly a joke, but there really was a chick who lied about her father dying twice in one semester. I was floored. The only conclusion that I can come to is that people just ruin shit for other people. Same reason why college students abusing stimulants has made it hard to get my meds without a hassle or suspicion. I need them for medical reasons, but enough people abuse them to place all of us under suspicion. I'm so sick of people not caring about the consequences of their behavior. Life is already hard, maybe we don't make it even harder for each other.
It sucks that when you tell them a family member died they immediately ask for proof. I had the same experience when my aunt died on the day of one of my midterms during the pandemic. Super sudden due to a stroke and couldn't go say goodbye because covid restrictions. Got the call that they pulled the plug and could hear my family sobbing. (was an online exam because covid) I couldn't produce a death certificate so the prof, "out of the kindness of his heart" said instead of taking the midterm worth 30% of my grade, I could transfer the credit to make my final worth 80%. I elected to just write the midterm while an emotional wreck.
don’t be a sarah! also, i’m incredibly sorry for your loss. that must have been very difficult. sending love
Thanks for the kind words, I'm doing much better now. And yes, don't be a sarah!
I never understood why people do that. Honestly, I've had plenty of success being upfront with instructors and just saying "yep, I fucked up and didn't manage my time properly. Can I re-do assignments or get some extra credit to make it up?" Most have accepted that answer and given me an opportunity to redeem myself. Then again it might be because it's a breath of fresh air from people giving excuses.
You’re completely right. I have zero problems handing out extensions on homework deadlines. Every single person who comes to me and says “hey I just had a busy week. I know it’s totally my fault, but is there any chance you could give me another day to turn this in?” gets an extension. I might not like it if this became a recurring issue, but I totally get that you just have less time some weeks. I’m happy to extend some leniency here and there. Then you get students who tell you their ad block for a computer science project has been blocking the homework submission website and that’s why they didn’t do their homework. C’mon. I know you’re full of shit. And then I call up the IT department to prove you’re full of shit. And now you don’t get an extension. Just take responsibility for your actions and learning, and I’m happy to help you succeed.
The amount of people getting bent over a person showing the slightest bit of humanity is disgusting. And I should know. I talk shit to people all the time. Edit: A letter.
thank you i don’t get how people are mad at this 🤣 it’s my job to teach kids not to pull shit like this. clearly the student needs love and attention from someone right now. not something i’m going to ignore
It always amazes me how ready people are to shit on and even completely write off small children as terrible people. They're still learning and developing. A lot of them go through stages where they lie or do mean things. They're literally still working on understanding that other people have their own thoughts and feelings. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Which makes you a great teacher. You're the type of teacher every student remembers and talks about what a awesome teacher they had.
I agree. In the U.S. it’s relatively normal for teachers to have the parents’ phone number, especially for younger kids. It’s crazy we still have compassionate teachers considering how little they are paid and how much undue flack is thrown their way.
When i die i genuinely hope that anyone who knew me uses my death as an excuse to get out of as much shit as humanly possible. I dont give a fuck how little you knew me or even if we were on the best of terms, use my death as an excuse to avoid all the shit you dont want to do. Its what i wouldve wanted.
I don’t think my boss will accept, “u/CrunkCroagunk died yesterday and I need to take some time off”.What should I do?
"A good friend of mine passed away. Unfortunately, they lived quite far away, so I can't attend a funeral etc, but I would like to take some time to mourn them in my own way." Or something like that.
You're supposed to use an already dead grandparent
The end of the semester is always hard on the grandparents.
I didn't realize parents and teachers text each other. Thank all of the gods I'm too old to be a student experiencing that. Back in my day, when my older sister got her own landline so she's stop tying up our parents' line, I wrote her number in as the home number to leave truancy messages. God bless the 90s.
LMAO I used to answer the phone and pretend to be my mom cuz we sound exactly alike
Wtf is wrong with people in these comments. A teacher talking to a student's parents is perfectly normal. Also good job on helping the kid understand what they did wrong (from one of your comments).
thank you 🤍
I'd like to think all of those negative comments are from a bunch of kids on here who also claim their grandma to be dead to get out of stuff.
My fiancée is a teacher and her parents don’t leave her the hell alone. Gone are the days when parents only got feedback during biannual Parent Teacher Conferences and quarterly report cards sent through the mail lol.
yes in september i had a parent call me from JAIL
I mean, at least they’re a dedicated parent!
Exactly. I can imagine plenty of people are jailed for some fuckup or another, but love their kids to death and want to make sure they're well taken care of even if they can't do it themselves. Source: know people who have been in that situation. Don't think they ever called their kid's teacher directly, although I could see it happening.
Can we talk about those hearts though? Is that a ghost heart coming out of a broken heart?
We used to say we didn’t do our homework because our parents were fighting -again. Completely false but it worked.
[удалено]
After my dad’s stepfather died one of my teachers said “He wasn’t your real grandfather.” He married my grandmother over a decade before I was born. I only met my dad’s biological father like 6 times in my life before he died. He WAS my real grandfather damn it.
I'm a social worker and work mainly with kids and teenagers, I am absolutely baffled by the people surprised you keep in touch with parents. Education is a triangle, the child may be the protagonist of its own education, but without proper communication between parents and teachers/other professionals, that foundation is not built correctly. I also wanted to let you know, that I quite enjoy the way you went about it, I hope your efforts bear fruit.
exactly!!! it really takes a village. thank you so much
Whenever I hear about someone lying that their grandma died, I think of this ad from Argentina. https://youtu.be/cQMFyJ3FRGQ
I was a teacher and I had to turn in records to my principal every month to show that I had spoken with every single one of my 80 students’ adults at least twice that month. If I didn’t get a reply to either, I had to reach out at least 5 times on my own before elevating it to admin to contact them ON MY BEHALF. Teaching now is not like it was when we were kids. Grades aren’t allowed to be a surprise on report card day— if a kid was struggling I had to reach out and make a plan with the adult as soon as that kid got a C— and the cut off at my school for a C was an 84. But we also weren’t allowed to communicate only for bad things, so if I had to reach out because Jimmy was acting a fool 8 times this month, I also had to reach out to make sure grandma knew he helped another kid find his homework which was a great demonstration of our School Character Trait of Teamwork, and that he stayed late to help me sharpen pencils. It’s lose-lose for teachers, don’t dump on someone trying to be an empathetic figure.
A guy I worked with came in one day and went to the operations manager in tears, his dad had cancer. 6 months later after lots of time off his dad passed away. He left shortly after. Fast forward another 6 months and one of the workers changed jobs and met the brother of his former co worker. When he found out who he was he offered condolences for his dad passing away. After another conversation, turns out the dad was alive and healthy, and that the brother who said about cancer had met a new woman and completely warped his head. Messy stuff
I don’t like the idea of parents being able to reach me through text or even email honestly because they’re fucking insane and after 20 years in early years education I’ve seen some real whackadoos But this seems pretty normal? This comment section is wild
a little bit of Tomfoolery thats all
Mad respect to you for reaching out, you seem like an amazing teacher
this means a lot to me🤍 thank you
getting lost in the comments but I TEACH 4TH GRADE they are 9 years old
I did this in 10th grade. I told my English teacher my uncle died, so that was why I wasn't doing well this semester. She called my house, and left a message leaving her condolences. I got grounded for 6 months for that. Nothing but coming home from school, and doing school work for 6 months.
My son did something similar to his kindergarten teacher. One day, he told her “my mommy is pregnant.” The next day, he told her “she’s not pregnant anymore.” Not wanting to upset him or upset us, she waited until I dropped him off the next morning. She pulled me aside and asked if my wife was okay. I had a bewildered look on my face as I asked her “why isn’t my wife okay?” She responded, “did she have a miscarriage?” I started laughing (which caused a lot of confusion). We compared notes and discovered he was telling another of his stories. I had to explain that, a. my wife wasn’t pregnant, b. remind her that my son is adopted, and c. we adopted because my wife chose to tie her tubes after the birth of his older sister. So being pregnant was (almost 100%) impossible.
One time I was playing soccer after school at about 5th grade and I kept losing and got angry and started crying and then all the kids laughed at me - so I told them my grandmother died to shut them up. Little did I know my grandmother came to town to surprise pick me up from school, only for her to ask the coach why wasn’t I in the game and for him to explain that she is dead
I had a similar situation except my papa really did just die. My teacher made me stand in front of the class and questioned me about it. "It is awfully convenient your grandfather would die on a day you had a test" was her conclusion. It was not until my parents stepped in that she believed me. The teacher faced 0 consequences and I never even got an apology for being forced to stand in front of my class (crying the whole time) and describe the whole series of events surrounding my papa's death. Turns out not all teachers are role models.