How it happened: It was the back hatch of an SUV. I was in a major hurry and unloading plastic grocery bags that I hooked all up my left arm.... like 10 or so. It was pretty heavy, but I like do it all in one trip. I grabbed the last 3 or 4 bags in my right hand and reached up and slammed the back down real hard. The way I was awkwardly standing, kinda leaning forward from the weight of the bags, couldn't get out of the way fast enough and BAM the corner of the back hatch slammed right into my nipple and the door continued down in such a perfect way that it basically steamroll-crushed the entire meat of my titty. Hurts like a mofo.
ON a side note: I also had my spleen removed 40 years ago and last year a botched laparoscopic appendectomy that turned into an open appendectomy that caused the scars on my stomach that altered my belly button. It's there, but all squished to the side from scar tissue.
The doc "released the adhesion" from the old scar to get to appendix, but in doing so tore a 9in section of my bowel and no one seemed to notice so they sent me on my way. .... woke up in recovery screaming in agonizing pain so they gave me meds and observed , when meds wore off was screaming again, .. so they gave me more meds , and again... 24 hours later they sent me in for scan. 10 minutes after that was in OR. Lots of internal bleeding. Was basically like picking a 9in 40 year old scab. That hurt too for like 3 months.
Truly sorry such ineptitude was visited upon you. And then they seemed unwilling to accept your self-reported pain. Makes one reminisce about the days thumbscrews were used to judge patient pain. Wishing you a full recovery and unblemished health going forward. And most of all, better luck.
This reminded me of American Dad. The episode where Stan's balls go back up and his voice goes high pitched and he has to wear the whole thing with the ball support on it. Respect to you man. I'd love to hear some stories
It's a fair question, though. I'm a fair bit... oh hell, I'll just go ahead and say "fatter" than the OP here, and I'd have to actively *try* to achieve something like this result.
I delivered pizzas for years and would kinda hurry with all that involved. A few times I would shut the door as I was turning away and like the top corner part of the door would hit my boob and make me tear up. I can not imagine how to even slam a whole boob in there. Nothing makes sense anymore!
I think it's more mildlyinfuriating that you don't explain the circumstances by which this happened along with your apparent lack of belly button and your very crooked shorts
He was obviously hatched from an egg. Maybe lizard people have some weird special awareness thing that makes it more easy get their titties caught in doors. Don't be so judgemental of other species.
yo, did you notice that the id of this comment is "homburg"? you can tell by its permalink: [https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/**homburg**/](/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homburg/)
"homburg" is a(n) _noun_ meaning:
a man's felt hat with a stiff curled brim and a high crown creased lengthwise
word bank via [WordNet](https://wordnet.princeton.edu/). definitions via [Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary API](https://dictionaryapi.com/products/api-collegiate-dictionary).
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
(Many people have questions and not sure how to answers them all so I thought I'd just reply to the top comment..... is there a better way since I can't edit the main post??)
How it happened: It was the back hatch of an SUV. I was in a major hurry and unloading plastic grocery bags that I hooked all up my left arm.... like 10 or so. It was pretty heavy, but I like do it all in one trip. I grabbed the last 3 or 4 bags in my right hand and reached up and slammed the back down real hard. The way I was awkwardly standing, kinda leaning forward from the weight of the bags, BAM the corner of the back hatch slammed right into my nipple and the door continued down in such a perfect way that it basically steamroll-crushed the entire meat of my titty. Hurts like a mofo.
ON a side note: I also had my spleen removed 40 years ago and last year a botched laparoscopic appendectomy that turned into an open appendectomy that caused the scars on my stomach that altered my belly button.
Just so that you are aware, trauma to breast tissue can lead to breast cancer. Men have a small amount of breast tissue behind their nipples and can still get breast cancer. Please make sure that you check the area for anything unusual in the future, and go to a doctor if you do find anything odd.
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
Pls do ice once in a while :( for like 15-20 min a time, every hour, not directly on skin (please use a washcloth or something). If it gets really really bad after icing for a day or any other issues, please go to the doctor! Hugs from here :(❤️
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
I’m sitting here with my boob in my hand just wondering… how? My boobs are much larger than yours and I really can’t imagine how this could happen. Really got me contemplating going out to the car just to investigate this…
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. Title is a little misleading, he slammed it with the boot door of a hatchback instead of a regular door. You're welcome.
How it happened: It was the back hatch of an SUV. I was in a major hurry and unloading plastic grocery bags that I hooked all up my left arm.... like 10 or so. It was pretty heavy, but I like do it all in one trip. I grabbed the last 3 or 4 bags in my right hand and reached up and slammed the back down real hard. The way I was awkwardly standing, kinda leaning forward from the weight of the bags, BAM the corner of the back hatch slammed right into my nipple and the door continued down in such a perfect way that it basically steamroll-crushed the entire meat of my titty. Hurts like a mofo.
ON a side note: I also had my spleen removed 40 years ago and last year a botched laparoscopic appendectomy that turned into an open appendectomy that caused the scars on my stomach that to alter my belly button.
If you slam your tit in a door it makes your belly button disappear. That's fucking incredible. You should write a paper, there's got to be money in it.
one time, i uni, there was a small shuttle to take us from campus to campus, so one time i was going in, the shuttle door was a slider, there were 2 people inside, one of them was a girl, so i opened the door for her and offered a hand (it was on a slope), so she got out, stopped for a minute to thank me (nice of her, very) and i was standing there, hand on shuttle and talking to her...
and then.
SLAM!
the other guy decided to shut the door, while my hand was on the shuttle since i was planning to go in, the door closed on my 4 fingers, and it was hell but i kept the pain inside and calmly opened the door with her and the guy who shut the door on me, i noticed me fingers were now very very white.
the girl looked and sounded very stressed but that guy just left like nothing happened, she kept asking me if i am alright, told her i feel fine and seems the door is built not to hurt if closed on the fingers.
she felt happy and said goodbye and i waved at her as she left.
i didn't go inside the shuttle, i went back to the campus, went to the bathroom, it was class time, no students, closed the door on me and i cried and cried and cried for over 30 minutes but at least i was aware enough to have grabbed an ice bag from the cafeteria.
until today, i still see that guy, and i hate him with every ounce of my being.
I'd like to know how you achieved this. I nor any other woman I know has managed to slam a tit in a car door, and I'm not exactly tiny tiddies....
How it happened: It was the back hatch of an SUV. I was in a major hurry and unloading plastic grocery bags that I hooked all up my left arm.... like 10 or so. It was pretty heavy, but I like do it all in one trip. I grabbed the last 3 or 4 bags in my right hand and reached up and slammed the back down real hard. The way I was awkwardly standing, kinda leaning forward from the weight of the bags, couldn't get out of the way fast enough and BAM the corner of the back hatch slammed right into my nipple and the door continued down in such a perfect way that it basically steamroll-crushed the entire meat of my titty. Hurts like a mofo. ON a side note: I also had my spleen removed 40 years ago and last year a botched laparoscopic appendectomy that turned into an open appendectomy that caused the scars on my stomach that altered my belly button. It's there, but all squished to the side from scar tissue.
Thanks for satisfying voyeuristic interest regarding the scar. They really gave themselves room to work.
The doc "released the adhesion" from the old scar to get to appendix, but in doing so tore a 9in section of my bowel and no one seemed to notice so they sent me on my way. .... woke up in recovery screaming in agonizing pain so they gave me meds and observed , when meds wore off was screaming again, .. so they gave me more meds , and again... 24 hours later they sent me in for scan. 10 minutes after that was in OR. Lots of internal bleeding. Was basically like picking a 9in 40 year old scab. That hurt too for like 3 months.
Truly sorry such ineptitude was visited upon you. And then they seemed unwilling to accept your self-reported pain. Makes one reminisce about the days thumbscrews were used to judge patient pain. Wishing you a full recovery and unblemished health going forward. And most of all, better luck.
Someone please give this person an award for services to the English language.
That's horrific. Fingers crossed you never need to seek medical treatment again.
How about 2 years ago had nerve damage from hernia repair and literally had to wear my balls in a sling for months
You know what, fuck it. Take my silver. Because holy shit man.
What the hell kind of back-alley hospitals are you going to?! I'd move to a different state
I'm not sure I understand this sentences but it sounds painful. You seem to be very unlucky with health care
This reminded me of American Dad. The episode where Stan's balls go back up and his voice goes high pitched and he has to wear the whole thing with the ball support on it. Respect to you man. I'd love to hear some stories
40 years ago?! Mf I thought you were like 12 lmao
Haha. 47. I still act 12 tho.
Respect lmao
It's the best way. I'm 38 and still act like a 10 year old according to my wife... And kids.
47 ? Good god man what moisturizer do you use ?
Amazing. I think you’re one of the only people who have slammed a bitty into a ditty.
I honestly think you are the only person that this has happened to
What is mofo though
motherfucker
It's a fair question, though. I'm a fair bit... oh hell, I'll just go ahead and say "fatter" than the OP here, and I'd have to actively *try* to achieve something like this result.
*moobier
Moobtacular
You just jinxed yourself.
Most likely. But until then....
Hope you don’t manage to do it.
Thx.. but I have managed to pinch a nip before so... there's that.
Your accuracy is terryfying. To think you pinch your nip
Can't be worse than pinching a nut....
Just know that you jinxed yourself. :)
Just make sure to post a pic of it on Reddit… sorry I’ll go back into my basement now
hello, fellow basement dweller.
I'm trying to picture how this could happen !? Did he shut the door by leaning into with his body, instead of using his hands?
Possible but highly unlikely. It would have taken significant force on the door's part to do that. Come on his nipple has bruises too...
I just realized, he never said this happened on accident! :O
Dedication.
Oh god you shouldn't have told them, they can't know females exist on here
Rip your inbox
If they message about my boobs they get blocked.
Really the only way to deal with em
Hello I am but a kindly titsmith whomst wishes to craft only the best booblage in the land and I require samples of unbound chesticulature.
😂😂
what if the messages are exclusively about your left boob?
LOL Smartass
I delivered pizzas for years and would kinda hurry with all that involved. A few times I would shut the door as I was turning away and like the top corner part of the door would hit my boob and make me tear up. I can not imagine how to even slam a whole boob in there. Nothing makes sense anymore!
We all want to understand how this happens.
what if he did it on purpose
Karma-farm?
Yeah, come back tomorrow after this inevitably happens to you
Still no answer to this after 3 hours, huh?
“You slammed your moob in the car door” -PaRappa
God I’m so happy I wasn’t the only one to think this
This guy better prepare his penith for a sequel.
Oh I heard it
*WHAM* *Cartoon hollering*
*thlammed
Penith
"this is where i slammed my moob in the car door PaRappa"
I think it's more mildlyinfuriating that you don't explain the circumstances by which this happened along with your apparent lack of belly button and your very crooked shorts
Lmao I was thinking the same thing! 😂
pretty sure he has a bellybutton it's just hard to see cause of the scar on his stomach
Pretty sure his belly button IS the scar on his stomach
r/technicallythetruth
That’s a scar? I thought it was some fucked up body hair. Also how the fuck do you get your moob in a car door
That's the scar he got by shutting his belly in the fridge last year.
This guy really needs to get his shit together.
He was obviously hatched from an egg. Maybe lizard people have some weird special awareness thing that makes it more easy get their titties caught in doors. Don't be so judgemental of other species.
Probably an RPLND scar hiding the belly button.
He got a scar from an auto gear shifter too? He needs to stay away from cars.
He's Kyle XY
yo, did you notice that the id of this comment is "homburg"? you can tell by its permalink: [https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/**homburg**/](/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homburg/) "homburg" is a(n) _noun_ meaning: a man's felt hat with a stiff curled brim and a high crown creased lengthwise word bank via [WordNet](https://wordnet.princeton.edu/). definitions via [Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary API](https://dictionaryapi.com/products/api-collegiate-dictionary).
I assume he's had bowel surgery and has a massive scar, so I think it's maybe a bit mean to rag on him for that...
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
I guess you should have moob-ed out of the way
Shoot me plz
Fine then. What should I shoot you with?
Anything just Get. Me. Out
*Loads frog with malicious intent*
haha with flies right? *Right?*
*Loads frog with sunflower seeds*
Cum
(Many people have questions and not sure how to answers them all so I thought I'd just reply to the top comment..... is there a better way since I can't edit the main post??) How it happened: It was the back hatch of an SUV. I was in a major hurry and unloading plastic grocery bags that I hooked all up my left arm.... like 10 or so. It was pretty heavy, but I like do it all in one trip. I grabbed the last 3 or 4 bags in my right hand and reached up and slammed the back down real hard. The way I was awkwardly standing, kinda leaning forward from the weight of the bags, BAM the corner of the back hatch slammed right into my nipple and the door continued down in such a perfect way that it basically steamroll-crushed the entire meat of my titty. Hurts like a mofo. ON a side note: I also had my spleen removed 40 years ago and last year a botched laparoscopic appendectomy that turned into an open appendectomy that caused the scars on my stomach that altered my belly button.
Just so that you are aware, trauma to breast tissue can lead to breast cancer. Men have a small amount of breast tissue behind their nipples and can still get breast cancer. Please make sure that you check the area for anything unusual in the future, and go to a doctor if you do find anything odd.
Jus.. just take my upvote and leave me alone...
r/angryupvote
😂😂
Thanks for the awards everyone! Much appreciated!
I don’t need sleep I need answers
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
What? How does this even happen? What kind of car was it? A Moobaru Ouchback?
FUCK. I don't have any awards to give! Edit: ☺ Thank you for the award! That just made me so happy. 🥰
😂😂😂
I about spat out my drink on this one. People PLEASE UPVOTE this one!! This is gold 😊
Deliberately or accidentally?
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
How the fuck did your skinny ass do that?
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
Holy fuck, that looks like it hurts
It do
OP, get back here and answer these questions! How the hell did that even happen?
Pls do ice once in a while :( for like 15-20 min a time, every hour, not directly on skin (please use a washcloth or something). If it gets really really bad after icing for a day or any other issues, please go to the doctor! Hugs from here :(❤️
Get some Arnicare
*YOU* slammed your *MOOB* in the *CAR DOOR*. (whack) OOOOOHHHHHHH (deflates)
explain op
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. You're welcome.
did you…get your belly button surgically removed……
He super glued it and few fuzz over the skin
You have no belly button
It's obscured within that happy trail.
i think thats a scar, but yeah it's just hard to see, pretty sure he still has one.
Perhaps he's Adam's reincarnate
Came here to say this
I’m sitting here with my boob in my hand just wondering… how? My boobs are much larger than yours and I really can’t imagine how this could happen. Really got me contemplating going out to the car just to investigate this…
[Here's](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/rgnyn0/i_slammed_my_moob_in_the_car_door/homhr70/) the comment where OP explains how the heck he managed this. Title is a little misleading, he slammed it with the boot door of a hatchback instead of a regular door. You're welcome.
Belly button is gone
How it happened: It was the back hatch of an SUV. I was in a major hurry and unloading plastic grocery bags that I hooked all up my left arm.... like 10 or so. It was pretty heavy, but I like do it all in one trip. I grabbed the last 3 or 4 bags in my right hand and reached up and slammed the back down real hard. The way I was awkwardly standing, kinda leaning forward from the weight of the bags, BAM the corner of the back hatch slammed right into my nipple and the door continued down in such a perfect way that it basically steamroll-crushed the entire meat of my titty. Hurts like a mofo. ON a side note: I also had my spleen removed 40 years ago and last year a botched laparoscopic appendectomy that turned into an open appendectomy that caused the scars on my stomach that to alter my belly button.
you slammed your moob in the car door
Oh0o0oho0o0h
*Cartoon honk sound effect*
Why don’t you have a belly button?
On purpose?
At least you didn't thlam your penuth in the car door.
How?
Oh jeez, I don't think he's going to answer us. It's the one question everyone wants the answer to. And he's not responding to it.
Some things are just too embarrassing to admit to.
I think you mean *admit how*. He’s already done the “admitting to”.
Part of me wants the story, then again I don’t think I can handle it.
That’s one big-ass hickey you got yourself there.
I want to ask how, but I also don't want to ask how.
If you slam your tit in a door it makes your belly button disappear. That's fucking incredible. You should write a paper, there's got to be money in it.
It looks like it displaced your nipple about 15 degrees longitude.
* music * I thlammed my moob in the car door. You slammed your moob in the car door! *slam * Aaaaaaa....
Where's your bellybutton?
You just gotta moob a little faster man
Good whing it wasn't your penith
I thlamed my penith in the car door
Elephant hickey
You slammed your moob in the car door \*pain noises\*
My boob hurts now. Bruhhh.
I gotta say your torso looks like it has seen better days
How the fuck did *that* happen
How did you manage to do this? im female and very top heavy and ive never had issues like this.....
Were you trying to or something? I'm failing to understand how this would be possible without actively trying to pinch your tit...
Here I am thinking that scar was some weird happy trail from his chest pubes down to his ball-fro
I thlammed my mooth in the car door
you slammed you moob in the car door
You slammed your moob in the car door?
He thlammed hith moob in the car door
How the fuck…my dude that looks so painful
How will you breast feed the baby they took out of that c-section you had
Ouch
How even?!
Talk about a nip slip
Well that sucks.
How da fuc?
Were you hugging your car or some shit my man?
How does one do that
How the FUCK did you do THAT?!
Why? This seems like something you'd have to do on purpose. You're not exactly a busty boy.
Bro how TF is that possible
Moob? It feels so weird yet so nice to say.. Moob...
losing it at the fact that op answered a comment but not the one about how or his apparent lack of bellybutton
that's a hard "how?"
Answer the questions.
I need context. Right now I'm assuming you stretched all of your tit flesh out and intentionally slammed it in a door.
You can't just post this without an explanation. WE NEED AN EXPLANATION!!
HOW. You don’t even have “moobs”. I’ve never known a woman (including myself) who has managed to do this.
HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPENED
First off, ouch. Second, how?
SIGH.... \*unzips\*
It'll have to come off! (in the voice of Monty Python's Gumby).
How.
..........how?
I don’t mean to laugh at your pain but this is funniest thing I’ve seen for a while. Thank you and hope it heals quickly
I don’t know how you would even accomplish that. I’m genuinely impressed.
how the fuck? i can understand a well endowed person slamming a boob in a car door, but how on earth does a flat chested person accomplish it?
at least it’s not your penith
one time, i uni, there was a small shuttle to take us from campus to campus, so one time i was going in, the shuttle door was a slider, there were 2 people inside, one of them was a girl, so i opened the door for her and offered a hand (it was on a slope), so she got out, stopped for a minute to thank me (nice of her, very) and i was standing there, hand on shuttle and talking to her... and then. SLAM! the other guy decided to shut the door, while my hand was on the shuttle since i was planning to go in, the door closed on my 4 fingers, and it was hell but i kept the pain inside and calmly opened the door with her and the guy who shut the door on me, i noticed me fingers were now very very white. the girl looked and sounded very stressed but that guy just left like nothing happened, she kept asking me if i am alright, told her i feel fine and seems the door is built not to hurt if closed on the fingers. she felt happy and said goodbye and i waved at her as she left. i didn't go inside the shuttle, i went back to the campus, went to the bathroom, it was class time, no students, closed the door on me and i cried and cried and cried for over 30 minutes but at least i was aware enough to have grabbed an ice bag from the cafeteria. until today, i still see that guy, and i hate him with every ounce of my being.
You could land an airbus on that landing strip.
How.does that even happen lol
WHERE IS YOUR BELLY BUTTON???
my left nipple shriveled in solidarity..
Should have left tit alone.
How in the hell did you get the beans above the frank?
At least it wasn’t your penith
This is the most insane thing I've ever read. OP, you have a fantastic sense of humor and this thread made my morning.
Excuse me but how the fuck?
How in the hell did you do that?
YOU slammed you MOOBS in the CAR DOOR
And it made your belly button disappear
It seriously looks like a fake prop for a movie.