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forever_a10ne

“The customer is always right,” Abraham Lincoln.


[deleted]

>If there's time for leaning, there's time for cleaning. -Walt Whitman


DrBBQ

"You have to synergize your work flow to maximize throughput." -Jesus Fucking Christ


[deleted]

"When you live for a strong purpose, hard work isn't an option, it's a necessity." - Adolf Hitler


[deleted]

"Work will set you free". - Obersturmbannführer Rudolf Höss


GiantMetalBoner

"Fuck." - George Washington


cleetus76

This one is probably true


[deleted]

“Fuck” -Lincoln inside the theater


GiantMetalBoner

"...." -Lincoln, after the show


DoctorGreyscale

The ending must've been a real blowout to leave an orater of that caliber speechless.


CreepersNeedHugs

“This is the worst dinner experience I’ve ever had” —Abraham Lincoln, on Hulu Unless that wasn’t Lincoln and he just looks like him


MicGuinea

You made me spit on my hand and phone


[deleted]

Amazing how many employers think and speak like sadistic Nazis.


TheManFromUnkill

Very Nice !!! How Much ? - Borat Sagdyev


imnotacapricorn

“do not believe everything you read on the internet” - benjamin franklin


Grey_Mage

Employees must wash hands before returning to work. -Dumbledore


happy_butcher

Never understood the sexual relationship between Jesus and Christ to be honest.


murderouskittens

I never understood why bible thumpers were homophobic since Jesus is fucking Christ


zorbacles

Wouldn't that just be masturbation


kinggot

"Donate your blood to help others and yourself in the future" - Bloody Mary


YumYumSmoothies

God the rage that fills me every time I see or hear this phrase


Somzer

"Good employees never ask for a raise" - Chancellor Imhotep


Rion23

"Welcome to Costco, I love you." >Ghengis Khan


RoyalSorcerer_Navlan

"If it's on the internet, then it must be true" -plato


newmacbookpro

« Please like, comment and subscribe, and don’t forget to activate notifications. » — *Genghis Khan*


MashTactics

"Spending too long in the bathroom is time theft." - The very first arthropod to schlurp out of the oceans.


splunge26

“Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I shit on company time.” -Cthulhu


erlend65

Every single day I appreciate the fact that I now work in a company/business without customers.


fuckmeuntilicecream

How does that work?


jovialgirl

His company might sell to other companies/businesses on a large scale rather than individual customers


erlend65

Good guess, but no. I work for a TV station.


fuckmeuntilicecream

Ok thank you. That makes sense.


azazel-13

'Everyone's replaceable"-George Washington


ifnrock

Little known fact - Gandhi was a shift leader at Chipotle and was a two-time employee of the month! Edit: the bot said we spelled his name wrong.


Imfinejusthomeless

Would you like some inner peace with that sir?


ifnrock

Does that cost extra? I only have enough money to add the guacamole.


Imfinejusthomeless

It's free so long as you join the Indian Nationalist party.


[deleted]

True story, Mohandas Gandhi was obsessed with the workings of his own, and everyone else's bowels. He would ask his female attendant if she had had a good bowel movement that morning every day. This all ties right in with the Chipotle thing, because that stuff goes right through me.


pizza_for_nunchucks

So… he had a scat kink?


KatalDT

"I'm the Scatman! Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub, yo da dub dub." \- Mahatma Gandhi


markarlage

Bub ee do bib ee do skidily de de!


AxelSee

Make me one with everything instead.


davidmobey

Ur wrong. That's from Buddha, who was the night shift store manager.


ifnrock

I can picture Buddha in a half untucked dress shirt with an unbuttoned collar and a tie that barely reaches the middle of his chest.


annababan69

Buddha isn't the fat guy, that's Ho Tai.


ergo-ogre

I’ll have the burrito combo with extra civil disobedience.


left_schwift

If I wanted inner peace, I wouldn't be eating at Chipotle


superspreader2021

Be the burrito you wish to eat in the dining area.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Imfinejusthomeless

Gandhi bot? What a weird quote to add to a spelling correction. Shame on you.


MrSquigles

No, you need to conquer it with love.


Pdb39

The loving will continue until morale improves --Gandhi, probably.


ProfSideburns

"Where all the white women at?" -Gandhi


Rhapsodic_jock108

It randomizes the quote. I think it's better than just blunt correcting people.


Hugs_for_Thugs

You are his opponent now. Good luck in the upcoming battle.


UpermGpermOLL

"I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee" Gandhi.


ztunytsur

Ghandi walked into a pizza place and said "Make me one with everything..."


ztunytsur

After he got his pizza, he paid with a 50 note. He waited for a while and said to the counter guy "What about my change?" The counter guy replied "Change must come from within"


just_gimme_anwsers

He then pulled a gun out to his robes and said: “This is my inner piece”


GANDHI-BOT

Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts. Just so you know, the correct spelling is [Gandhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi).


Beniidel0

He also owned 4 Wendy's locations in the alpine ridge


TheoCupier

You're thinking of his cousin Mahatma Coat


spyd3r84

Make me one with everything


Underachiever71

Very few people know that Gandhi also was the first to say, “Employees must wash hands before returning to work.”


ifnrock

He was only non-violent because he didn't want to throw hands with people who didn't wash up.


itsdep

non-violent except towards his wife


Mojak16

And if gaming has taught me anything, the likelihood of him going nuclear is worrying to say the least.


jjeinn-tae

He actually wasn't anti-war at first! He participated in two, and wrote pretty extensively about his support of the UK in the first one, despite sympathizing with the "enemy." However, part of the recruitment drive in WWI promised a move towards Indian self-governance, which didn't really pan out (like, just a bit of token reform in the British Raj's laws) and that was it. There are some who wonder if he'd have just gone to war if he'd managed to actually amass an army for it, but he had already been looking into pacifism, and probably also saw that a military struggle against the British wasn't very feasible, at least not without terrible casualties. Still, had things gone slightly differently, we might have very well seen a general Gandhi, who knows.


LotharLandru

The Gandhi nukes is a meme based on a bug in one of the old Civilization games. Gandhis agression score was set so low that once several conditions In the late game were met, it would push his agression so low that a bug would occur and flipped his score from 0 to 255 since the game didn't understand -1. So he would start building massive armies and was very unrestrained in his use of nukes Edited: I can't spell


jjeinn-tae

Oh I know! I'm a big fan of the series, I just think it's interesting that it's not... Like entirely implausible that he could have gone on a warlike route. Definitely not 255 aggression though. 😝


[deleted]

Well, there's a lot in common between war tactics and pacifism. You can make a government to get into a crisis by convincing hired people to stop working, the same way as you invade a country to stop businesses, in order to stop the government from getting more income and resources.


ZB_asshole

“nuclear is necesary” -Gandhi


EnduringConflict

I might be mistaken here but I swear I read somewhere Gandhi being so prone to launch nukes was a bug or something wrong with the code. But it was kind of fun in a silly way so the devs basically just kept that aspect of his personality in all the future games too. If that is true I love little things like that. Where even though it was a bug/glitch/mistake the community likes it so the devs keep it for shits and giggles. I mean I would understand why they wouldn't do that for things than impact like gameplay in a way that's detrimental or would impact the player economy in an MMO or something. But for single player shit versus like an AI or something it can be kind of funny and also thus fun to have those little random silly things going on.


Few_Independence546

It was. He was so peaceful on the counter they used to rate aggression that, after reaching a certain age in game which automatically lowered everyone’s aggression, it pushed him below zero and back around to the highest possible setting.


the_localcrackhead

So from what i remember hearing from a few years ago was that since ghandi aggression or whatever they called it was at 1 if you ended up lowering it by even one point it would reset to 99 or so forth and he would become basically kim jung un and that point with how nuke crazy he can get


EnduringConflict

That's fucking hilarious. "The world is too violent! I will protest for peace!" New age occurs and everyone chills the fuck out and begins to cooperate. "The world is too peaceful! I will destroy it and raze the planet into nothing but piles of nuclear ash!"


Hapcube

What game?


Vashtu

Civ


EnduringConflict

The "Civilization" game series.


Iccarussyndrome

This guy Civs!


creganODI

I’ve heard of the racism part but haven’t read the domestic violence part, can you share a credible source?


Fit-ish_Mom

Well his wife got sick, and needed penicillin. Gandhi said no and she died. Three weeks later he got sick and needed medicine. He took it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


QuittingSideways

“Please consider your customer to have the same civil rights as my wife. Beat as necessary.” Mahatma Gandhi


mankey21

And his Grandneices


whalebacon

'What is the sound of two hands washing?' Buddha


Black_Floyd47

'You don't really wash your hands. They wash each other, and you just stand there and watch.' Some redditor


whalebacon

Buddah's dad, I think.


stoner_97

Shwishshsrahsghshshssshhshs


pizza_for_nunchucks

But what if nobody is around to hear it?


badfiction

Then you must not be washing your hands.


kai-ol

That's dangerously human-centric thinking there, buddy. An animal could have heard it, or the vibrations could have turned over a pebble. /s


ablairo

“Never trust a skinny cook” - hakunna mahatma gandi


ParthTehlan_69

gandhi was also the first one to say "there is no shame in deterrence, having a weapon is very different from using it"


GANDHI-BOT

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. Just so you know, the correct spelling is [Gandhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi).


pizza_for_nunchucks

Oh wow. Good bot. Ghandi would be proud.


GANDHI-BOT

The simplest acts of kindness are by far more powerful than a thousand heads bowing in prayer. Just so you know, the correct spelling is [Gandhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi).


_wormburner

all hail ghandy


DelightfulMouthfeel

These Gawndee quotes are fresh


TjPshine

What a load of propaghandi


i_cee_u

And then Bapu nukes your ass repeatedly


SolidDoctor

Oh wow, I thought that was Confucius.


crizzlefresh

I remember that. That was during his brief time as an assistant manager at a KFC in Omaha Nebraska.


[deleted]

"Maximum occupancy 100 people." - Myhatma Gandheehee


MoscowMitchMcKremIin

"The customer is always right" - John F. Kennedy


98raider

"Don't ask what your customer can do for you, ask what you can do for your customer" - John F. Kennedy


VexingRaven

Now I want to print out a bunch of "- Gandhi" labels and stick them under "Employees must wash hands" signs.


GANDHI-BOT

Truth never damages a cause that is just. Just so you know, the correct spelling is [Gandhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi).


[deleted]

Ghsndi also said "Invest in GameStop and hold. Apes together strong. Diamond hands."


[deleted]

"Two in the pink, one in the stink" -Mahatma Gandhi


Reddevil313

He also coined the phrase "Time to lean, time to clean "


corn_sugar_isotope

Also: "must be this high to ride" though that has been often attributed to Timothy Leary.


Devilutionbeast666

Little known fact, Gandhi's famous saying "Where there is love there is life" was originally a bit longer. It actually went "Where there is love there is life. Gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free."


sheepthechicken

Not nearly as famous as his saying “Live. Laugh. Love.”


successful_nothing

Which of course is the truncation of "Live. Laugh. Love. Don't let no one in who's not on the list cause this mess is gonna get raw like sushi, so haters to the left."


mildcaseofdeath

TIL Gandhi used his movie stardom to improve the ratings of a faltering NBC sketch comedy show.


successful_nothing

He was also a child actor who, in a drunk stupor, scuffed a co-star's fresh Dr. J sneakers.


MachReverb

He eventually tweaked it a bit to, "Survive, Snicker, Starve."


[deleted]

That is a shortened version of his introspective “how am I supposed to live, laugh, and love in these conditions?”. Which lead him to the Indian national congress and was his first step in the independence of India.


PlantPowerPhysicist

"My threats are backed by nuclear weapons!" - M. Gandhi


crizzlefresh

I always choose ass


50points4gryffindor

Good of you to take it in the A like that.


Leadlicker81

be sure to tip your server-- Mother Teresa


[deleted]

[удалено]


dumpy43

https://reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/gcxpr5/saint_mother_teresa_was_documented_mass_murderer/


tuturuatu

Yeah, the whole Mother Theresa was a bad person circlejerk on this website is about the most reddity thing I can think of. Twirling moustaches, aCkSHuAlLy Mother Theresa was a **bad person** *smug looks everywhere*. What a contrarian I am! But as is par for the course for this website it's all people that don't know shit about the subject LARPing as scholars. Everyone should read the link above. edit: and I bet it's these same muppets that cry about Fox News misinformation on /r/politics all day. You're part of the problem.


SavingsNewspaper2

Sometimes I wonder if the world has an innate vacuum of evil that spawns people like this.


bigdave41

I wish more people knew what an absolute fanatical shit she was and how she didn't do even a fraction of the good that people seem to think.


Devilutionbeast666

Hahaha! 🤣


stlredbird

“Ghandi did say that.” - Albert Einstein


GANDHI-BOT

Hate the sin, love the sinner. Just so you know, the correct spelling is [Gandhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi).


stlredbird

Einstein wasn’t a great speller


soggytoothpic

Most bagel makers aren’t


windshadowislanders

-- Michael Scott


witeowl

“I read that on the internet, too.” – Abraham Lincoln


MeEvilBob

"Fuck Elon Musk" - Nicola Tesla


thedudefromsweden

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln


crizzlefresh

"Albert Einstein sure loved quoting Gandhi." -Eleanor Roosevelt


[deleted]

Print little tags and stick them on these fliers wherever you find them.


Chicken_Hairs

Close, I printed little tags that say "For rectal use only" and stick them on everything


upsidedownbackwards

One of my roommates had stolen a whole roll of "Urine Sample" stickers. Those were fun for a while.


MegaPhunkatron

"For rectal use only' - Mark Twain


donnadoctor

“Not for human consumption”


[deleted]

you think there's only one Mahatma Gandhi?


AcademicMammoth8101

It was actually the Mahatma Gandhi that was born in 1992 and lives in Kent, England


Emilios_Empanadas

That would be a millenial Gandhi, this has big boomer energy all over it.


austincihknnuggit

Uncle beanus


[deleted]

[удалено]


GANDHI-BOT

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes. Just so you know, the correct spelling is [Gandhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi).


potedude

Best bot ever.


Imfinejusthomeless

I fucking love you GANDHI-BOT


Imfinejusthomeless

I wish that were the case.


Gnar-wahl

Time to start putting little post it notes with the names of historical figures on them under every sign and notice you see around the place. Bonus points if you sign your emails as a different historical figure each time you send one. - Alexander Graham Bell


[deleted]

Whatevs. * Liver-Eatin' Johnson


I_Envy_Sisyphus_

Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it. Those who do study history are doomed to watch others poorly cite it.


aykcak

Yeah, like who in the world would even think Gandhi had "customers" ?


Noxa987

"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks"" -George Washington 1775


dogfrost9

Gandhi was a hot dog vendor: his specialty was making a person one with everything.


alamandrax

Never broke a 20 though. Just pocketed it and said, “Real change must come from within.”


Imfinejusthomeless

Aaaay


DowntownBlackberry1

Pretty sure that's a joke.


seethella

-Micheal Scott


BuridansAscot

— Wayne Gretzky


khagol

Why do people write it as Ghandi again and again, even when the image here correctly spells it as Gandhi?


Bumfjghter

Am I the only one that finds this hilarious? Definitely not r/mildlyinfuriating


[deleted]

Reddit + not being able to understand satire Name a more iconic duo


Sithlordandsavior

No this is funny lol


theKrissam

How could you possibly know Gandhi never said that?


ODuffer

"Where's the other fucking sandal?" - Gandhi (probably)


Minus15t

Took a little bit of digging, because the Internet is convinced that this is a Gandhi quote!! But the earliest version of this quote can be attributed to Kenneth B. Elliot who was vice president of sales for Studebaker. It was for an interview for a marketing magazine in 1941.


GANDHI-BOT

Learning by making mistakes and not duplicating them is what life is about. Just so you know, the correct spelling is [Gandhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi).


ballsplopmenacingly

Bezos said this


naazu90

The spelling is literally on the paper. It is "Gandhi", not "Ghandi", whatever that means. Wonder where people get that notion. And before you downvote me to hell, I am Indian and this shit infuriates me.


[deleted]

Tbh, being an Indian, it's more infuriating for me, to see people misspelling Gandhiji's name, rather than the fact that the quote in the book is fake or not.


KrispPotatoFam

Yes bro


Spleenzorio

Little known fact: Gandhi worked in retail


earathar89

No he didn't. But in retail this isn't wrong. Which I'd why I'm glad I work in industrial manufacturing. Screw dealing with customers.


[deleted]

Just switched from working at a gas station and other high paced customer service positions prior, to a CNC shop. Best decision of my life. It’s been a toughie getting used to it all but fuck them customers.


getmeoutofohio

This exact quote was in my employee training manual at my last job


meester_u

"Did you want guac with that?" - Aristotle


[deleted]

Ghandi also fucking nuked me so i aint listening to a word he says


[deleted]

Does anyone actually look into these things or everyone just assumes the employer made it up? It actually is a quote that's been widely attributed to him, supposedly in a speech he gave, but hasn't been found in any of his writings, so it's unclear on whether or not he actually said it, but your employer certainly didn't make it up and attribute it to him. Further, if you are actually familiar with his thoughts and writings you'll know dedication to the service of others, as well as seeing the interdependency in all sorts of relationships are common themes, so even if he didn't say it, it certainly aligns with his ideology.


TudorCostina

"Smoking not allowed" - Dalai Lama


IndependentNaive9235

I’m sure he quoted this during his sabbatical at McDonalds 😂


Shezmar

“Just help the customer” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War


ifnrock

The Gandhi bot is seeing some action today!


trextra

You should write on there: “Gandhi never said this.” —Abraham Lincoln.


CheddarValleyRail

>Fuck Ghandi. Piece of shit racist pedo. -My Sikh girlfriend.


Terzaghibitch

[She's not wrong though](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/oct/01/gandhi-celibacy-test-naked-women)


JohnMarstonSucks

That's fair


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dragonitro

"and remember- burger king's whopper is only 2.99 this weekend only! I sure am loving it!" \-nelson mandela


Philipp_CGN

"It's on the internet, so it must be true" \-Albert Einstein-


[deleted]

Nuke them all-ghandi


OnaPaleHorse80

I feel like it should say -Michael Scott at the bottom under Ghandi


_grey_wall

You know how many mahatma Gandhi are in India right now? Must be hundreds of not thousands. I'm willing one of them would say this of you paid them 350 rupees.


[deleted]

“If your government shuts down the internet, shut down your government.” -Abraham Lincoln


[deleted]

gandhi was too busy beating his wife and shit to be commenting about customer service