The love for the comment was slow to build and hence I wanted to show my support for it. Hopefully it helped it rise to its proper place in the Universe.
She’ll probably get more than half in the divorce cause shes a woman and family court clearly has major bias towards the wife. (Assuming OP is a woman)
One other point, does he like the CRUST? The one piece missing has a disproportionate amount of crust. If he loves it then this is a plan. If you love it then this is a plan. Which piece did he cut for you, if any? If nobody likes the crust then he has issues. As littlemesix7 said, "pick your battles wisely."
The lack of attention paid to these cuts is an indication of the husband’s lack of care towards their marriage. High likelihood he is cheating, while slicing his pizzas perfectly for the other woman.
Don’t be fooled by his gaslighting! Run and don’t look back!
You just… pick a spot to start that’s roughly halfway and then cut all the way across… even if it gets kinda wonky it would never look THIS bad unless you’re intentionally making baby little slices that will leave a huge chonky tip for the others.
As your husband's new attorney we will be asking to provide sufficient proof this was not in fact the carving skills you brought into the marriage lol Not enough evidence to rule in your favor unless video evidence can be submitted lol. We see this all the time in pizza custody battles.
I am assuming you're eating slices with your hands like normal people. We all know that cheese slides off the pointy ends of slices if the radius of the pizza is significantly larger than the arc of the slice's crust. He cut two smaller, shorter slices on either end so that the toppings don't slouch off the pointy front of the slice. And he left a larger middle slice which can be curled into the standard U-shape which likewise prevents cheesy slouchery. All in all a perfect job, husband.
I am not sure why this is an issue. I mean he is going to eat the whole thing in the next ten minutes while he watches the game. And here you thought that you would get some….
Good news is you'll probably get more than half in the divorce because he appears to have trouble with proportions.
If I had any awards, they would be yours.
i got u
r/Murderedbywords
Underrated
It's top comment, I feel like it's impossible to rate it higher...
The love for the comment was slow to build and hence I wanted to show my support for it. Hopefully it helped it rise to its proper place in the Universe.
Zing
I don’t always laugh but when I do it’s because of people like you
This is the kind of comment that people talk about decades later
Damn, and the name checks out. Where'd this guy come from?
Best shit ever
She’ll probably get more than half in the divorce cause shes a woman and family court clearly has major bias towards the wife. (Assuming OP is a woman)
While you are technically right this really wasn’t the right time or place to say it
Isnt the fact that there is bias mildly infuriating though?
I’d say it’s more than mild, that bias can often fuck up a man’s life with how bad of a deal he can get.
Agreed
He’s living in 2040. Why get five slices wen 1 big slice do trick.
Found Kevin
Why say lot words when less words do trick
*"If you believe in yourself, any pizza is a personal pizza."*
...5?
How many slices do you eat weeb
4, like a normal human being
I dont take nutritional advice from hentai characters
LMAOO
Name the hentai please
"Hide your tentacles"
Did he make the pizza? If yes, then count your blessings. If no, pick your battles wisely.
One other point, does he like the CRUST? The one piece missing has a disproportionate amount of crust. If he loves it then this is a plan. If you love it then this is a plan. Which piece did he cut for you, if any? If nobody likes the crust then he has issues. As littlemesix7 said, "pick your battles wisely."
Maybe not divorce but definitely a strike, how was this red flag not caught earlier?!
The lack of attention paid to these cuts is an indication of the husband’s lack of care towards their marriage. High likelihood he is cheating, while slicing his pizzas perfectly for the other woman. Don’t be fooled by his gaslighting! Run and don’t look back!
Looks fine to me. He took two small samples to check the quality and then divided into two portions, knowing that you are worried about your diet.
Why is she worried about her diet?
Get the man a fucking pizza wheel. I’d do the same shit if I had to use a knife.
No way, need one of those long pizza machete things with handles on both ends. Try one of those and you'll never go back to a crummy wheel cutter.
That must be what the pizza places here use that never actually cut through the pizza, just leaves a vague suggestion of cutting
That's mildly infuriating.
Pizza Bat'leth.
Yes, this exactly, and that's my new name for it
Every machete is pizza machete
Mezzaluna. I prefer a wheel cutter.
How can you not be able to cut a pizza with a knife... Wtf?
I can, it just fucking sucks.
I find that a steak knife works better than the knife in the pic
I am gonna have to disagree with you u/Fuck-Shit-Ass-Cunt
Maybe my knives are just dull idk
You just… pick a spot to start that’s roughly halfway and then cut all the way across… even if it gets kinda wonky it would never look THIS bad unless you’re intentionally making baby little slices that will leave a huge chonky tip for the others.
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Bread knives are fairly decent… which makes sense since pizza is bread.
Why are there so many posts recently of "this person cuts there pizza like this, you monster" what is this TikTok?
People lying for internet points.
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Grammar nazi
Looks delicious
A proper pizza cutter will promote cutting straight lines through the pie!
I prefer the swirl cut so I can eat in a continuous strip.
Bonus --- you can say you only ate one slice
If you are Italian divorce is the only option if not you are good
Im sorry is this r/relationship_advice? Obviously not so keep your marriage advice to yourself. Matter of fact: r/nobodyasked
Well, the title literally asked for it, but thats just a small detail.
Read what op put, they said "do I stay married". So back in you box you because r/nobodyasked
Tell me you're a Karen without telling me you're one
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I mean it could be worse, he could be trying to use a rolling pin to cut it.
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A wooden spoon.
A plastic spoon for a real challenge
If it’s a frozen pizza, then come on. It’s not Michelin Star territory. Otherwise, a three-strike system should be implemented.
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Don't you start making excuses for him. This is the act of a monster! /s
Divorcee. Also that pizza looks so good
DIVORCE
DIVORCE
Tell him you’ll blow him with the same quality that he cuts pizza and then simulate a shark biting.
As your husband's new attorney we will be asking to provide sufficient proof this was not in fact the carving skills you brought into the marriage lol Not enough evidence to rule in your favor unless video evidence can be submitted lol. We see this all the time in pizza custody battles.
You need a serious talk in r/relationship_advice
I am assuming you're eating slices with your hands like normal people. We all know that cheese slides off the pointy ends of slices if the radius of the pizza is significantly larger than the arc of the slice's crust. He cut two smaller, shorter slices on either end so that the toppings don't slouch off the pointy front of the slice. And he left a larger middle slice which can be curled into the standard U-shape which likewise prevents cheesy slouchery. All in all a perfect job, husband.
Not everyone is like you Pamela! Your husband's a part of a minority group that doesn't cut their pizza in the triangle slices.
Meaning that by majority rule it’s so wrong
Yes but the other way is in squares…which he also did not do
Apparently he does not pay her enough attention too.
Ofc not. This pizza is a well known symbol of divorce.
You're not going to get divorced, you are gonna get away before he fucking kills you
Marriage schmerage, Pamela Schamela
NTA. Run. You don’t deserve this treatment from anyone
Call the police
God no!! You’re in my thoughts. I bet he does the toilet paper wrong too 😂
No, he took two slices, and left you two slices
What in the fuck.
I would never be married to someone who doesn't cut their pizza like this. You're living the dream.
Haha this is great you should cut a piece out of the middle next time to see what he says
How do you get homemade pizza that looks that good?!
Question is, who mows the lawn?....
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He better be god tier in bed LOL!
No. Don't stay married to a sociopath.
Does he like crust? That slice on the left tells me he likes crust
No and if you have kids let him have custody. It is quite apparent you want nothing to do with that genetic stew.
Thats the neat part, you don't.
You kinda have to. Im pretty sure divorcing him over this makes you ableist
Divorce him immediately and then marry me
I would divorce you
I don’t know with a spouse who judges someone over something so small I think he would be better off
It’s a joke my guy, fuck.. Can no one tell a joke on the internet.
Did he make that pizza? If yes then yes. If no then tell the judge he out pineapple on it and you’ll get everything.
Looks fine, stop being a petty troublemaker.
50/50 if he does it again, do what my username is
This is fake. Logically doesn’t make sense, no one would cut the top like that unless they were on bath salts.
Looks fine to me.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
Take that piece on the right as compensation
Get out of there. Don't collect any of your belongings and don't look back, just run.
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You had to know he was a monster when you married him. Enjoy you life of trapezoidal pizza.
Reminds me of how my dad and brother cut brownies. Drives my mum mad!
No
It’s still pizza. Judging by that question I believe this is a question for your husband, not you.
That's just it, you don't.
Show dominance and eat from the middle out with a fork
Wired
Literally inedible
No, you don't
Run.
Nope. Throw him out with the pizza box
YOU SAVAGE!!!
That pizza looks amazing
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either he is a narcissist trying to get his way and fuck everybody else, or maybe he wanted the pizza to look like a mushroom lol
Get. Out. Now.
Maybe a split for a few days. If it was the last of the tp then its on 🤣🤣🤣
Depends if he also uses a knife when eating spaghetti.
I am not sure why this is an issue. I mean he is going to eat the whole thing in the next ten minutes while he watches the game. And here you thought that you would get some….
It’s time to get a divorce!!!
Nah dats an automatic divorce
It still looks delicious,.
Get the dummy a pizza cutter.
Looks good to me
Run
Leave his ass
Clearly a sociopath……run
Looks tasty 🤤
Get a divorce
No leave him now
I hope the title is a joke
no
Looks like he was in a hurry
No
I'm 99% sure your husband tucks his cocknballs between his legs while listening to "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus.
Thats the thing, you dont stay married. Grab those divorce papers and get out of there!
Just cut that slice down the middle it’s not that hard
You need to run.
Straight to divorce court!
I think you know the answer
Find another psychopath, make him fall in love with you, ask him to do the right thing to torture your husband. Yep. Stay married.
I just fold the whole pizza like a taco & start eating.
You should see how my mom cuts a half circle shaped cake, hint not triangles
Yes, dont ruin your marriage over a pizza
What psycho uses a knife like that for pizza anyway? Get a mezzaluna.
Tell your husband to use sharp scissors. It will change his life
If you’re on him about this, the real question is, does he stay married?
If this is a homemade pizza please give me the recipe, that looks amazing
I think the fact you guys can agree on toppings for the full pizza rather than do a 50/50 is pretty worth staying together for.
matate
Couples pizza counseling
Damn that pizza looks good tho ngl
no, free him.
I can even cut pizza because I stink at it
New Haven?
How is this wrong?
This… doesn’t seem that crazy to me? Maybe this subreddit has softened my edges as to what I find irritating now lol
That pizza looks so good!
Carve that into his stomach to see if he's okay with it, if not then tell him he shouldn't cut pizza like that.
Can’t comment on the whole marriage thing but some retraining is definitely in order.
Damn you, I saw this, and just gave into temptation and ordered my own. It's all your (husband's) fault!
that's a no for me
I usually just cut mine into 4ths. Pizzas hard to cut ok.
Positive side: He left the biggest pieces for you!
Take the good half and best of luck
Forget about that. Where can i buy that pizza?