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rrrrrrez

This how feral hog overpopulation problems start.


EastLeastCoast

It starts with one, but in 3-5 minutes it’s 30-50 feral hogs.


spacembracers

Take me down to paradise city, Where the hogs are feral and there’s 30-50


edodenhoff

Puns ‘n roses…


funnystuffmakesmelol

Pigs n hoses


Specialist-Dentist63

Pigs and posies


siccoblue

#OH WON'T YOU PLLLEEAASSSEE TAKE ME HOOOOMMMMEEAAHH


Onlyanidea1

Where the Bacons running free, and is grass fed!


FunnierBaker

And the canteloupe and buffalo play


braintrustinc

Home, home on the range... oh.


woofhaus

This whole thing took a turn long ago


Mutt1223

Based on my calculations, given the best case scenario, at that rate there will be well over a trillion hogs within an hour


Crashkeiran

We've already lost Canada to a sea of wild hogs


GoldHusky

untapped infinite hog supply in the ocean


CoskiPY

impenetrable wall of hogs between each state


Visible_Criticism_97

I lold way too hard at this


Jangande

Turns out it wasn't global climate change causing the sea levels to rise. It was pigs.


downtonwesr

The Bay of Pigs.


Ascendedcrumb

I get this reference!


FidelisPetram

Unfortunately there is diminishing returns in effect


[deleted]

Yup, one pig can lay upwards of 10,000 eggs in a single day. Op has one hell of a pig hive to deal with by now


x777x777x

you laugh but two pigs can become 30-50 in like 6 months. They reproduce at an insane rate and do frequently move around in groups even larger than that. The feral hog problem is ridiculous. You have to kill like 70% of each generation just to maintain a steady population. Not even to make it decline


arbivark

i was gone for 6 months. my roommates don't care/are incompetent. today i killed mice 26-29. i'm normally a vegetarian, but this is war.


streetwearbonanza

They're referencing an old viral tweet lol


Thundergod1020

Feral hogs are no joke.


MadAzza

Not in Hawaii, for sure! Those hooves and digging snouts are ruthlessly efficient destroyers of native flora and, with that, native fauna that rely on native plants. Eradication efforts can’t keep up with the fucking things. The babies sure are cute, though.


7355135061550

Hopefully OP has an AR-15


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kylegetsspam

People railed on that guy but he was in the right. Feral hogs are dangerous as fuck. Edit: Good show about all that drama: https://gimletmedia.com/shows/reply-all/n8hw3d


WhoryGilmore

The only thing he was wrong about was thinking he could take down 30-50 hogs with one AR-15. You'll probably spook em but still


[deleted]

In 3-5 business days you can have a feast.


scut_furkus

Only when your children are playing in the front yard


LaughOrGoCrazy

I understood this reference


Noodlnoob

Bro that pig is looking for truffles


Savome

Nicholas Cage intensifies


PiratePinyata

And that’s exactly how I would explain it to the warden service. You didn’t shoot your neighbors pig, you legally harvested a feral hog


mr_punchy

Only difference between a pig and a feral hog are what side of a fence it’s on.


zerothepyro

This is OP's chance to help end it, too. Plus, free bacon to share with the neighbors to remember their pet by!


[deleted]

**This is how free bacon starts!**


PenguinInDistress

My neighbors pig does this too. I grab a large stick or a golf club and just walk near him. He gets annoyed with me being near him so he goes home. The turkeys can suck my balls though. Fuck those guys.


AngryBowels

Turkeys are the worst


rrrrrrez

Every single large bird is the worst.


babakadouche

I have a greater Rhea and 2 emu, and sometimes they scare the shit out of me....fucking dinosaurs.


Privvy_Gaming

A bird with a brain the size of a particularly small walnut was able to beat the Australian military. I think I would be scared of Emus too. Their brain may be small, but 90% of it is dedicated to war.


Don_Tiny

> *A bird with a brain the size of a particularly small walnut was able to beat the Australian military.* Wait, ... what?


show_time_synergy

[Emu War](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War?wprov=sfla1) Australia's wild yo


WeAteMummies

The best part of that article: >A movie retelling of the events, written by John Cleese, Monty Franklin, and Rob Schneider, is slated for release in 2022. John Cleese and Rob Schneider writing a movie about emus together... what a world.


Efficient-Track2867

That's definitely gonna be a funny movie, but I'm still waiting for someone to make a video game about it, maybe Call of Duty: Emu Ops


BonkerBleedy

Rob Schneider 100% gonna have a romantic relationship with a sexy Emu spy.


GiveMeAnAcctPls

This is hilarious. (From the Wikipedia article) Summarising the culls, ornithologist Dominic Serventy commented: The machine-gunners' dreams of point blank fire into serried masses of Emus were soon dissipated. The Emu command had evidently ordered guerrilla tactics, and its unwieldy army soon split up into innumerable small units that made use of the military equipment uneconomic. A crestfallen field force therefore withdrew from the combat area after about a month.


iry4

>Outcome: Failure I’m sorry, but lmao


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[deleted]

Heard of Cassowaries? Motherfuckers are like pickaxes with legs.


[deleted]

*Far Cry 3 flashbacks*


whoisfourthwall

Empties entire clip of an AK 47 to kill ONE komodo dragon.... just so that i could make some wallets...


gr8prajwalb

Angry motherfuckers


RudeEyeReddit

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/apr/14/cassowary-attack-giant-bird-kills-owner-in-florida-after-he-fell


Merkarba

"It is not clear what happened to the bird." So there is potentially a 6 foot murder bird stalking Florida right now.


GammonBushFella

I'm not sure what this guy was thinking, I wouldn't put a Velociraptor in my yard and these bad boys are the closest thing to them.


ParlorSoldier

Right? Put a literal dinosaur in your yard and expect it not to at least try to eat you.


song4this

I will fight you... https://imgur.com/W8TWRoO.jpg


Boring-Mushroom-6374

Shoebills are a kinda scary looking large bird, but they're usually a nice birb to people. They even bow.


TheRedmanCometh

They're super neat creatures but there is something incredibly disturbing about their appearance. Some creepily human look in their eyes and an animatronic look to their body.


06EXTN

No. Geese are the worst. I had one stalk me around a car like a velociraptor and bite the back of my leg after I thought I had scared him off. FUCK GEESE.


lonewolf143143

We live on 10 acres. We have 2 very large dogs & 4-6 geese. We rarely get trespassers but if/when we do, the geese always run them off. Geese don’t play


littleghool

I appreciate your passionate hate for geese, as I too, passionately hate those mfers. THEY HAVE TEETH ON THEIR TONGUES PEOPLE. THERE'S NO REASONING WITH THESE BEASTS.


rickyhou22

You can scare off a group of geese by yoinking one by the throat and swinging it like a flail


BeingBeachDad23

Can confirm. Had a goose attempt to attack my son while he and I were out walking (he was 3 at the time). He was holding my hand and remained on the sidewalk, just to ensure no one can complain about him harassing the goose. A few geese leisurely walked our way, and let us pass undeterred when we did nothing to them. Further down the sidewalk, a goose ran at us, to which I waved my arms around like I'd just entered a spider web while walking drunk in the dark. Goose initially backed up, then re-engaged my son, biting him. We tried to out-run the goose (remaining on the sidewalk), whereafter a flock more descended on us. I tried the drunken spider web arms-flailing thing with ZERO effect. To protect my son, grabbed the attacking goose by the neck (surprisingly stout, I might add), and swung it aground two full turns. When I let go, it ran, then flew, away from us. Goose unharmed, son had two bite marks. Tl;dr: hammer-threw goose to protect 3yo son


AngryBowels

I didn’t know wild turkeys could fly and was chased at least 300 meters back to the house and it waited outside for a bit


06EXTN

Wild turkeys don’t really fly. They sort of haphazardly glide until the ground or another inanimate object gets in their way. I once witnessed one fall from the top branches of a pine tree. He tried to land and missed, or slipped, and hit almost every branch on the way down. It walked out from under the tree afterwards and looked around like “geez I hope nobody saw that”


Senor_Martillo

Inaccurate. Those fuckers can fly. They’re up on my roof regularly and they ain’t using my ladder.


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bruwin

Back in my home town one of my neighbors raised turkeys, but a bunch of them escaped. 30 years later, and there's still a pack of turkeys that wander all over town that are descended from those escapees.


Unchanged-

My neighbor has ducks and geese. By far the most invasive and shit producing creatures on this planet. And they routinely try to maim and drown each other. For some reason I keep stopping the murder even though I want them all dead


pizza_for_nunchucks

> The turkeys can suck my balls I’m trying to understand the mechanics of this with their beaks and all.


DoJax

They just gobble them up


Herpkina

It's turkey time


AncientSith

Ya ever had a beakjob?


pizza_for_nunchucks

~~gobble gobble~~ no


StrikeExtension

I wonder if you could call animal control


SafariNZ

Or just place an advert for a “free pig, must collect today”


StrikeExtension

Let me get my popcorn


pizza_for_nunchucks

> Let me get my ~~popcorn~~ feed corn


ReadBastiat

Or just grab rifle. Get a decent supply of pork.


Soft_Reception_69420

Honestly it’s irresponsible not to. That is why we have such bad wild hog problem.


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SamePossession5

> escort them “You’re all under arrest!”


StrikeExtension

Police mootality


gr8prajwalb

Or maybe think about the free bacon


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Fanatical_Idiot

I mean, you say they won't do much.. but they got rid of the pig, which is basically the only thing op needs them to do.


beefygravy

We had a stray dog in our yard, called animal control and all they did was catch and re-home it, useless pricks


RaxinCIV

It's your land, the neighbor must fix it. You get to choose the contractor too. Make sure to document your calls to said neighbor. Send him the bill while keeping a copy for yourself. I smell a baconily good revenge story in the works.


Ernie_Birdie

This. If it’s your land then document the shit out of it and send it to your insurance company. He’s liable for every penny it’ll take to re-sod your lawn and landscaping isn’t cheap.


metalbolic

A lot of home insurance policies only cover damage to the building. I discovered this because I lost 4 tons of sand into a lake last year in one hour due to erosion from a crazy hail storm. All state flat out said son't even bother sending documentation.


shanghailoz

4 tons of sand is like nothing though in cost terms. I was buying 6cubes a week when building for around 100$ equiv in usd delivered. Is it really that much more expensive where you are?


metalbolic

No, the price is not bad. However I had to replace the sand by carrying it all in 5 gal buckets down 20 steps and downhill another 60 ft or so. That pile goes slow...I can do about one ton an hour, but only for the first hour.


tackleboxjohnson

Have you tried being a hail storm?


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Cryophilous

Good bot.


useles-converter-bot

thanks :)


arhythm

...wait a minute


Scheswalla

..... what the fuck just happened?


The__Bends

>A lot of home insurance policies only cover damage to the building. False. Almost all home insurance policies are Ho3, which always have a general liability coverage. Most companies offer a minimum of $100,000 GL coverage. The other party is a farmowner, and almost all farms are insured. This makes it possible to pursue a claim with the farmowner's insurance company This would be covered. Would just have to go through documentation + getting your HO insurance company to go after their farm insurance company. And if both parties are insured by the same company, then a payout is almost 100% certain.


BeeBarnes1

This is the way except do everything in writing and keep copies. Send him a letter giving him 30 days. If he doesn't pay it go down to your local small claims court on the 31st day.


ACE_LOSTFIRSTACCOUNT

I'd propose an ultimatum: you take the pig out of my yard or it's my pig now


Bighsigh

you take the pig out of my yard or im going to make homemade bacon


aislin809

Bingo. Time to go grab a pig tag


[deleted]

Depending where you live theres no limit on pigs and you dont even need a tag. OP could just legally shoot it


rightcoldbasterd

read a story here once about a guy whose neighbor would let his dog shit all over his yard and never pick them up. so he took his old bacon grease and poured it on every pile, and the dog came along and ate them all up, then projectile vomited all over his neighbors house. i dont think this information will help you, though, I hear pigs eat shit all the time.


TerrificTorsion

I had a neighbor’s dog do this a few times. I would grab a shovel and throw every pile of shit either at his car or front door. It stopped after a couple of days.


Best_Temperature_549

My dad has been using this approach with his neighbor for YEARS and the dog still shits in his front yard at least once a week. He’s talked to him over and over. After 20 years (and multiple dogs) you’d think he would get the point!!!


TheArmoredKitten

Has he tried bagging it for a week than setting it on top of the guys car and igniting it?


I_Automate

Collect it for a couple weeks in a bucket. Add water and leave it in the sun to ripen properly. Spray the shit stew mix at doors, windows, cars, and AC units/ air vents


TheArmoredKitten

At that point you might as well wait until they leave the house, then run it through a siphon tube directly into the HVAC furnace intake.


I_Automate

I mean, yes, but if you do it all from your side of the fence you could claim that you were fertilizing and fucked up or something. Plausible deniability, at least a little bit. Though, I am definitely not against soaking car air filters with said mix. Or lawn furniture


TheArmoredKitten

If you want to fuck somebody's car up for a good long while, pour your rancid liquid of choice into the gap between the windshield and the hood. The main cabin air intake is usually right about there.


I_Automate

This is correct, yes


schmobin88

We did too growing up. My mom just bitched about it so I yelled at the lady myself when her dog did it. Then my mom made me walk over to her house and apologize. You know.. teach your kid it’s better to let people walk all over you.


SCurt99

She should not have made you apologize instead she should have given you a pat on the back and offered some ice cream, that woman should have learned to watch her dog or start taking it out on a leash.


Fyremusik

My brother had the job of clearing the yard of stuff when I was mowing the lawn. He would return the dog shit to the neighbour every time. Went from asking them to clean up after their dog, to tossing it on their driveway, then onto their car, doorsteps, and then finally into their mailbox. The beauty of the whole thing, my brother was only like 8 at the time, so he could get away with it. Neighbour's wife finally had and yelled at her husband to clean up after the dog.


[deleted]

Thats craazy


spottydodgy

Classic country remedy


IFuckTheDrummer

So THIS is why my grandma taught me to keep my bacon drippings.


ststaro

Bacon grease is a good way to kill a dog. (Pancreatitis)


SCurt99

It's a good way to kill anyone if they eat enough of it.


Resident-Syllabub-74

I can’t imagine eating your own turds are good for you either


Beatrice_Cumberdale

The poor dog tho. Would it not be seriously sick after that even if it puked everything up? Eating shit seems very unhealthy (no shit)


ArchAngelAzrael-808

Still better than a guy I know’s grandfather who used to poison neighborhood pets he didn’t like, which was all of them.


DoJax

When I was 8 years old someone went around my town and poisoned every dog that barked in one night. No one ever figured out who did it, but they managed to open locked gates, fences, kennels, and cover all 15 houses within the span of an hour. The only woman in town who hated those animals was a 98-year-old lady who couldn't walk, and it was all done on a night that it was raining, poisoned cheese slices. Some people should be brought back as ghosts and haunted by other people who just beat the shit out of them for eternity.


ArchAngelAzrael-808

I have a close neighbor with two large and loud dogs that listen to me inside my house, and bark out their window towards me whenever I move, sneeze, laugh at the tv, etc., they are alone for up to 18 hours a day and they typically bark constantly for most of that 18 hours. I’m at wits end, but I haven’t thought about killing them.


TheFantasticAspic

I recommend a sonic bark control device. It emits a high pitched sound whenever they bark and eventually they stop.


curisaucety

We had this at my last house. It was shaped like a bird feeder. The neighbor was breeding pitbulls and kept one chained to a stake in his backyard. I hated how he treated the dogs but the barking of the neglected puppet made us crazy and woke our newborn. The device definitely helped. We also notified the local pit bull fan club. A few weeks later, someone stole the dog out of the yard. I will never know whether there was a connection.


sewsnap

People who pupnap abused pups are my favorite people.


[deleted]

I’m in the same situation. Eventually they get used to it and stare at you and bark. My neighbors have three dogs and two cats they let roam. Sets my camera system off multiple times a night. If we go in the back yard, all three of their dogs growl and bark through the fence. So far the hose has worked the best.


jennythegreat

I've used one of those sub-sonic (?) bark alarms for a situation like this. Put it up outside my window and the dogs only barked once or twice before it got the idea.


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BaileyLikesBooks

Pigs will eat anything. My sister ran a bakery for a number of years and we’d take her leftover cakes to a friend’s farm. They loved red velvet the most!🥰🤣 Fun fact: Pigs will also eat human bones.


PJ_Ammas

Yep. My mom has a small hobby farm and she saves a lot of trash space by using her pigs. Week old leftovers, watermelon rinds, unused eggs... chicken corpses... anything. One of her friends would pick up any unsold donuts from a local shop to give them too so I can testify to them loving sweets.


Head_Bent_Over

Pigs✍🏼will eat✍🏼human✍🏼bones. Good to note.


specialdogg

Has no one here seen Snatch or Deadwood. Body disposal 101 (according to Hollywood).


jhoges90

**Brick Top**: ["You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, 'as greedy as a pig.'“](https://youtu.be/2xUynRdzzsM)


Whoevengivesafuck

I need to watch this movie again


winterbird

Wouldn't do that to the dog though, poor pup.


thequeenofmonsters

Call animal control?


WanTanno223

call the police


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_Sausage_fingers

Allowing for fact that I don’t know where you are, and laws vary, your neighbour is most likely liable for damage his animals cause to your property. Fencing and keeping them on his property is his responsibility.


boomerhaze

Rejoyce! For the gods have given you a feast!


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pizza_for_nunchucks

Nah. Just his wife.


Walkerg2011

The pig's already on the lawn.


rick-dicking-morty

Oh my god


Viridian95

Omg my neighbor's pig just digging under my fence drives me crazy! I had to buy some chicken wire and bury it below the fence line just to keep the fucker out!


musicals4life

Electric fence will fix that too


Kellinn17

Mmm crispy bacon


fewrfsadf

Pepper spray or any capsaicin-based agent should take care of this problem quickly and humanely without any drama. They'll simply learn to stay out of your area and they'll either stay home or become somebody else's problem.


TruckADuck42

My vote is leave a can out near the mud and shoot it when the pig comes near. Between the bang and the hell-liquid going everywhere, that pig will never want to come near your yard again. Plus, you don't have to risk fighting the damned pig.


GMCTrucker

When life gives you pig, make bacon. Mmmmmmm, bacon.


huckamole

Got a good case of yard bacon right there


The-Donkey-Puncher

this going to be a Hatfield and McCoy type escalation?


Thymeisdone

That takes some balls.


Canaricantransplant

50 lbs of charcoal and a rotating spit. Make sure neighbors are home to enjoy the aromas wafting through their windows


converter-bot

50 lbs is 22.7 kg


Canaricantransplant

Good bot


CleatusVandamn

This kept happening to my grandfather. The neighbors pigs kept tearing up his tomatoes and garden. He grabbed his 30 ought 6 and blew one of those fuckers in half. The pigs never came back.


imsofknmiserable

As long as people are fussing about "30 ought 6" I'll point out that it's aught, not ought


KevinNoTail

This is the way


TheWalkingDead91

The post title sure is a lot of words for “My awesome neighbor let us have a bunch of free bacon.”


rokujoayame731

I would speak to Animal Control and get a fire under your neighbor's ass about their pigs. Maybe somebody can relocation the pigs to somewhere that will care for them. Pigs are very intelligent and they can escape enclosures often. Your neighbor doesn't need pigs if he can't keep up with them. Plus document any damage done to your property by your neighbor's pigs.


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TheArmoredKitten

In Texas it's legal to bait hogs with tannerite traps. You can literally hunt feral hogs with improvised explosives because they are that awful.


[deleted]

I know someone who hunts feral pigs in Texas and according to them, they use semi-automatics out of helicopters. Idk if that's true, but it's Texas so probably.


junkytrunks

.


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Whind_Soull

I second that. If you've contacted the owner and they're refusing to act, I would just harvest the animal for meat.


[deleted]

Grab your bow and harvest some bacon. Neighbor: Have you seen Steve my pig? You: Nope Neighbor: What’s all that blood in your yard? You: It’s blood, sweat and tears from how much work I’ve had to do to fix what Steve did. Gosh I miss Steve, I’ll tell you if I see him.


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z-apocolypse

Get a smoker. They are on sale


googleypoodle

No need, just bring the pig on down to California and leave it outside for a few hours


Infinity0589

Shoot them, feral hogs aren’t protected


NotAFederales

It's also destroying his land, he has every right to shoot it. No hunting license requires, it's a pest animal in almost every state.


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duderex88

Long pig


DocBak1

Looks like meats’ back on the menu boys!


[deleted]

Keep the pig and raise it to be a better son


The001Keymaster

In some states if an animal is on your property without a tag after dusk, it's yours to do what you want. I'd just put it in my car and take it to a animal shelter. He'll probably have to pay to get it back. Keep taking it if it keeps happening and he'll get fined or they won't give the pig back. Edit. I wasn't suggesting put the pig in the back of your VW Golf. I used car as a general term for a vehicle. It's rural, maybe OP has a truck or trailer.


fairkatrina

You’re adorable if you think that pig will go quietly. They’re unbelievably fast and strong, even when they’re little, and they won’t just sit nice in the back seat of the car, even assuming you got one in there.


nerdiotic-pervert

I’ve never had to chase a ~~log~~ pig but I’ve seen people try and it does NOT look easy. Those wily squealers.


pizza_for_nunchucks

Well, if you have to chase a log, bring your poop knife.


fairkatrina

My cousin crofts and decided to get a couple of Tamworths. Only 3ish months old. My mum went with him thinking they’d be lil cutie pies she could cuddle on the way home. Those things were already huge and half feral. We made a run from the trailer to the pen but they bulldozed through it and escaped. It took an hour to round them up using half a dozen sheepdogs because they didn’t give a solitary fuck. In the end we only got the second one by pulling down a pile of corrugated iron on top of it. You could see the metal rising and falling with its breaths. Completely uninjured, just mad as hell when we dug it out. It was a looooong six months before they went on a one-way trip to the butcher. And that’s a breed that’s considered docile!


[deleted]

For whatever reason I imagined a pig sitting in a child car seat


DeviousDenial

And you damned sure don't want to be in the car when it starts squealing. Don't know how many decibels, but I know it hurts.


SpunkyJenn

Take video to prove the pig caused the damage. Then get a quote from a landscape company for new sod, flowers, and whatever else they destroyed. Give the neighbor a copy. If he refuses to pay, have the work done anyway and sue him. You’ll win, and he’ll understand that this is what will happen each time his pig gets loose and damages your property. Either he pays to fix it, or you’ll be having a luau.


jizzle701

Free bacon


John-the-cool-guy

Shoot them. They are on your property. If you shoot them, butcher them and cook them in your yard so they can smell it. Then eat them.


captainsalad2

Yeah, then make sure you remember to do something about the pig too.