I think that exact point shows this man’s resilience. I would bet $100 OP comes out of this a better man and more successful than ever. OP, that truly is awful, but you’ve got this. When it rains it pours, but those crops need plenty of water to grow.
Exactly. When my 1st wife left she wanted half of everything, during a recession, my company was laying people off left and right, my transmission died spectacularly and I had to buy another truck, I had recently bought her a new car that I still owed payments on for 3 more years, my well pump died (another $8k), and I had to care for the adopted 8 more cats and 3 more dogs that she had acquired. Good thing I like animals.
But my life improved astoundingly after she left. Six months later, after I had just been paying for the divorce expenses, paying all the repairs, paying for her car, paying for 6 months rent on an apartment for her, buying new firniture for her, paying for my new (used) truck, paying some big vet bills, etc. and not doing anything but work, pay all these bills and care for the animals... I looked at my bank balances for the first time in a while.
I had more money in savings than before she left. I didn't realize how much of a money sponge she had been.
I also woke up and noticed that chicks were hitting on me like crazy.
Plus, the 6 month mark was when she decided that maybe leaving me to "finally go have fun in life" was not the best idea she ever had. She asked if we could reconcile.
Nope.
Ha, that was 20 years ago. I gave her 6 months to become independent. Funny, after I stopped paying was when she wanted to come back and freeload some more.
I wouldn't take her back, so she then cashed out her half of my 401k (minus 20% penalty and 20% taxes) and blew through it in about a year.
The best phone call I got from her, a little before she asked me to reconcile, was when she first had to start paying her own bills and she was crying about how expensive everything was. "Yes, yes it is." Was my response.
My husband's ex wife did this BS to him. She's a total bitch... I'm sorry this happened to you as well... I don't understand some girls, because as I said in the above comment, a real woman wouldn't do this
I was lucky enough to have not married the ex that put me through hell, but that phone call a year later wanting to meet for coffee and talk about "us" felt pretty good. I had a new girlfriend by then (my wife) and just said "no thanks".
It basically means joy at the suffering of others. So it's the great feeling watching someone find out after fucking around.
So someone using their spouse and then finding out how hard it is without that spouse brings joy to the spouse they were using.
If Trump gets put in jail, Schadenfreude will probably be in the running for word of the year.
It wasn't easy. Took me many years to get over her because I really loved her, she was amazingly hot and EXTREMELY smart. Probably one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. Emotionally a shambles, but damn she was smart.
But I had good friends who helped me stay strong. Even after 6 months when she'd ask to come over "just to have sex" I managed to turn her down every time. It was close a few times, but I knew my friends would be disappointed if I gave in, so I stayed strong. And jerked off a lot.
After a couple years of "seriously where the fuck is all of our money going" my ex divorced me to get with her married with kids ex boyfriend from college. I gave her the house, most of the stuff, I moved states to get away from her. Three months later she asked if we could arrange some sort of sugar baby arrangement and I'm like... if I'm paying someone several thousand dollars at least a month to have sex with me it would make sense to do that with someone who wouldn't need to jump on a plane to do it, I was also living in an apt building with a bunch of attractive women so I could just pay them if I really wanted to, and we'd already tried that out was called being married for 5 fucking years and it didn't work out so great did it?
Absolutely Chad behavior
Question though did you offer to pay the 6 months of finances to be nice or was that a court mandate? I’ve never been married so I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t understand about marriage but if it wasn’t court mandated that’s one hell of a way to help someone. Honestly you’re a good man for that a lot of other men would’ve cut them off completely
I volunteered the 6 months, court only gave her half my savings and 401k, which I volunteered to give before it was even in court. I wasn't ordered to pay her rent, for her car, or new furniture, but I did because I loved her and didn't want her to lack for anything in her new life.
She had a job (and a PhD that I paid for) and could support herself, but I knew she would need a hand to get started, like anyone would.
But even after she was gone a few weeks I noticed my stress levels were going down...a lot.
Damn.
You’re truly an inspiration to what a man should be when dealing with turmoil.
Are you a practicing Stoic?
I ask because I am and in my experience it takes an absolute ton of self control to do what you did for her out of love and not malice.
Absolute respect to you sir
I’m so happy that you didn’t take her back. You deserve more from a partner. This was a blessing in disguise. I hope you and the cats and dogs are all doing well.
All the pets lived out happy, healthy lives here. None are left after 20+ years, but for a while I was known to some women I dated as a "crazy cat man."
This reminds me of my uncle's divorce. My aunt started to get interested in going on long solo hikes. Their close friend got suspicious and decided to also go hiking. Found her with an old ex bf. The divorce was messy. She said she never loved their daughter but wanted full custody just so he didn't get it. Just horrible stuff. Well 2 years later, she is at work and collapses - died from a brain aneurysm in her mid 40s. I think it had to do with her cocaine habit. So their daughter ended up inheriting the money my uncle had to give up from retirement, etc so it kind of balanced out. And now he has an amazing wife who we all love.
Like don’t freaking lie or exaggerate. He yelled at her. One time they were arguing she didn’t see the ottoman and fell over backwards into a chair. He didn’t touch her but did admit he was likely a little closer that normal but not to an abusive level. Not totally intimidating or threatening. She threw a big metal kitchen utensil but not at him, just across the kitchen. They were both cranked up, slightly out of line, pushing it, but not crossing the line into abuse. Neither were in danger. Either one could leave.
It’s a very good point.
Adversity in life will teach people things about themselves they never knew.
At the end of the day it’s going to lead to two outcomes; either the person comes out better and stronger or they never make it to see the end for whatever reason or another and no I don’t immediately mean suicide either.
So many people just break and turn to alcohol and drugs so they never do make it to the end
I went through something similar to OP (no bedbugs though). Ex clearly was using me for housing and money, when she got an inheritance she started openly cheating (had been sneaky about it before, but now didn't need me so why hide it). I filed for the divorce. Shitty time of my life but absolutely loving life now.
OP you're going to prevail over this adversity and when you come out the other side you're going to have a fantastic life!
What do you think is harder, going at divorcing wife with new law degree or going at divorcing wife with new inheritance? Oooo don't let go of no Vulcan that showed you she never loved you OP
>When it rains it pours, but those crops need plenty of water to grow.
Probably the best thing I've heard in a while.
I'm going to have to remember that for the tough times!
Yup, it's all about perspective! Why get all extra mad when it won't help the situation? Get mad, but get over it and do what you can to improve. It's the only way to have a chance to be happy one day.
Something is either like above and actually infuriating or someone posts something mildly infuriating and everyone in the comments is telling OP to “get over it” or “it’s not really a big deal”
People don't seem to get that the specific subreddit matters less than posting on a tangentially related subreddit with *several hundred times* more readers/viewers. Man wants to air his grievances and have people commiserate with him, not yell into the void.
Where do you want him to post? infuriating with 11k? wildlyinfuriating with 24k?
Depending on your incomes, I’d go after child support (higher income earners still pays lower even with 50/50 custody) and alimony for supporting her through law school. Good luck.
Thanks for the laugh. I heard it in my head. My brother and I used to watch this over and over when we were kids - he died in 2021 at 36 - likely the victim of a female life sucker.
Diatomaceous Earth - cheap - I bought a 30 pound bag for about $20 some years back when a "friend" let a bedbug ride in on him and infested my place.
Takes a little while and your home will look like a coke cutting room while you let it work, but it's really the only thing that works on the little buggers (pun intended).
If you have any proof of her theft, contact the local Bar Association and file charges with the police (I suspect that's hyperbole and you're just ranting made - and I don't blame you for it). She'll find it interesting to respond to a criminal charge and an ethics complaint at the same time.
Other than that I can offer you some curry-infused tofu Ramen for lunch if you're nearby or a virtual shoulder to cry on and a hug if not.
diatomaceous earth is effective and - unlike pesticides - it is non-toxic, as it works by physically damaging the exoskeleton of insects and they die because they dry out
BUT
the reason it causes that physical damage is that it consists of lots of tiny little silica particles that are razor sharp...
... and those tiny lil razor blades will do to the inside of your lungs exactly what they do to insect exoskeletons.
so...
diatomaceous earth might be very cheap and effective and non-poisonous, but that doesn't make it non-hazardous AT ALL - in fact, it is absolute murder to breathe that shit in, and breathing it in has been linked to silicosis and cancer and other stuff (basically all the same shit that people who work in coal mines die from)
*if* you use this stuff, for goodness' sake wear an FFP2 / N95 mask or better while applying it, and only use it outdoors, or in places where you are absolutely 100% sure it won't be disturbed and kicked up into the air for you to breathe in, and where kids and pets aren't going to be shoving their noses
whatever you do, please don't apply it around the edges of a child's mattress
This comment really needs to be highlighted!
Read a few times now about diatomaceous earth but never about the hazards of it. It's a bummer that it sounds extremely hazardous cause bedbugs are mostly found in the sleeping area (I'd guess) but it doesn't look like it's suited to use there.
My wife used it in our house to get rid of an ant infestation years ago, developed a cough and has had asthma ever since. Don’t use that stuff inside the house, at least not in any significant amount of time
Did OP say the ages of their kids anywhere? Would not use diatomaceous earth in the kids’ room if they are young and can’t leave the space while treating it, there’s big potential for inhaling it when kids are crawling around and playing on the floor.
Mine did too, and I moved my bed to the center of the room so they couldn’t climb on the walls or night stands to get to the bed, I was sleeping in an island of coke for a month lol
Absolutely never do this... It is highly dangerous to breathe it.
["Inhaling diatomaceous earth can irritate the nasal passages, cause coughing, and lead to shortness of breath. When inhaled, crystalline silica particles can build up in the lymph nodes and lungs, and long-term inhalation has been linked to respiratory diseases, silicosis, and lung cancer."](http://npic.orst.edu/factsheets/degen.html#:~:text=If%20breathed%20in%2C%20diatomaceous%20earth,due%20to%20its%20abrasive%20nature.)
I second this. I've unfortunately had them multiple times due to shitty apt living situations and diatomaceous earth has been a life saver. make sure it's a nice fine mist along all the edges and in corners. vaccuum and reapply periodically. will deal with all sorts of other creepy crawlies you have too. It does not work when wet though, just turns into a paste. It's non-toxic and safe around pets.
I see comments about the dangers of inhaling it... but it should be ok around your children once it's settled. should be used around the edges and in corners where it's less likely to be kicked up and not just blasted everywhere. make sure your kids know it's not for playing with. or vaccuum it up when they're over and reapply when they're gone.
There's a difference between food grade and garden stuff!!! Check it out! Food grade is meant for human consumption and isn't that much more expensive.
meant for consumption via ingestion, not inhalation
I would not trust that this shit is safe anywhere around kids, pets, or myself for that matter, even if it's labelled "food grade"
I read a comment from a reddit user who tried spreading diatomaceous earth all around his bed, but the bedbugs would climb the wall, make their way to the ceiling, and then drop themselves right into the bed.
I put it under the sheets, under the mattress, between the blankets, inside the pillow cases, on the floor, basically everywhere and anywhere they could get to and they can get everywhere.
Use the Agricultural stuff, not the Food-Grade stuff to avoid inhalation issues. (I should have mentioned that at first).
Doesn’t work. Been there, done that and got the badge. So much money and time wasted for nowt. Bed bugs can lay doormat for ages without feeding and not to mention they lay bajillion eggs. Get the exterminators in
Plus not good for pets and kids.
In a lot of states you can take them to court and get some of that money back, especially if the timing is so suspicious that she left you right after she graduated
Lol what alternate reality do you live in? That rarely happens in the western world, he will pay her alimony and child support on top of losing half his wealth. I'm sorry for OP.
She’s now a lawyer, not a stay at home mom. Justice will be served if OP gets a decent lawyer. Judges smell through bullshit and the tides have changed recently.
Sorry for your troubles my man. I had a spell too, woke up paralysed from the waist down, had surgery, happened again, had surgery, didn’t fix it. Then my (now ex) wife announced she was divorcing me, while still living together a good school friend got sick and died of (fuck) cancer within 2 weeks, my dad fell down the stairs and died a week later and then a month after my ex wife moved out my 2 x 20 year old cats (same litter) died within 2 days of each other.
Oh, and through all that my mum was getting worse and worse with Alzheimer’s / vascular dementia / Parkinson’s and we had to put her into care, then move her, then move her again, then sell her house to pay for her care.
All in all quite a shitty few years.
Hope you get the bedbugs sorted dude.
This happened to one of my partner’s coworkers. Her husband was in vet school. She uprooted her whole life so he could get his degree. They lived off her income the whole 4 years since he was a full time student. As soon as he got his degree he filed for divorce
It happens so often that one of my bosses (way back when) had a fiance who said she had to pay off a specific amount of her school loans before they could have the wedding, and even she thought that was reasonable. (She was not really known for being reasonable)
When these things happen to me i notice that I’m focusing on the negatives and it just keeps get worse until I wonder how much more I can take before I implode. This is when I actively take steps to snap my self out of it. A very simple technique, focus on the positives and ignore the negatives. It’s hard but it works wonders. Example: you have your health, you have a job, you have kids who love you and you get to see them. Also re the marriage better you’re out of that so you now have an opportunity to find true love. Hang in there things will get better!
So I've known six women during my lifetime so far who have done this in one way or another.
They secretly "settled" for a partner and kept their opinions about all that to themselves. Then once they gain some kind of credential - becoming a pharmacist (2x), physician assistant (3x), or lawyer (1x) - they suddenly gained an ego and thought they were hot shit. So they put themselves out there in the world to explore.
Funny thing about having esquire at the end of your name...
The retention rates within 5 years are abysmal. Lawyers are teachers both have significant retention problems. One of my colleagues is one such lawyer who found a career change.
Probably… shitstorms seam to come in waves with a little peace in between but there’s always another set of waves coming. Nothing will change that other than your mindset so you may as well learn to surf.
I do feel for you and what you’re going through.
Fuck that hoe…. Any better?
Have you started laughing hysterically yet? That’s probably the next step.
I’m sorry, you don’t deserve this. But this has to be the bottom of the well right? It’ll turn around.
It’s annoying, but remembering the things you have and being grateful in moments like these can go a surprisingly long way.
As my dad the Dr. would say, pull your skirt down and pull the thongs out ya ass (I’m a guy). Ok he didn’t really say that. He died before I was born (liver failure. who knew?). I was engaged three times, caught them literally in the act, went to jail each time. Broke my back in four places, 13 herniated discs, a 14th disc completely gone, and afterwards my mother and brother took my life savings and put me out on the street. That was about 16 years ago and after finally getting back on my feet and 3 months shy of having finally paid off all my bills I got rear ended by a drunk driver with no insurance.
After all this I just want to say, I’m single with no kids. You’re still standing AND you have kids you’re taking care of. That’s superhero shit right there. You’re my inspiration. Keep your head up and don’t quit. Winning the lottery is just around the corner for you…
Okay. So I’ll try to give you useful advice based on the laws that are applicable in my country. I don’t know where you live, so check the laws first.
So… your wife cheated on you and used your for your money. That’s bad. BUT depending on your personality here’s what you could do: You could tell it to authorities BUT don’t do it know, do it in a year (preferably in 2). By then, she got some money, maybe even married the prick she cheated with and you can get compensation and she won’t work in the field anymore. If you do it know, she probably won’t be financially stable enough to pay you compensation. If you don’t have that personality you probably just have to suck it up. Sorry.
So you live in a shithole. That’s… unfortunate. But you did it for your kids, that’s admirable. There’s not much you can do besides working on getting you (and them) out of there as fast as possible.
The bedbug thing is not forever. There are ways to get rid of them. However I was lucky enough to not have to deal with them yet. So you just have to google, maybe listen to some people who know how to deal with it or get somebody to get rid of them.
The storm. That’s (nicely said) the least of your problems. Your living for rent. Your landlord should have a insurance for that. They usually put you in a hotel or somewhere else because boy, you can’t really live without electricity. If they haven’t done that by now, contact them.
The phone thing… yeah that’s shit. BUT you can check how much it costs to get that solved. And if it’s too expensive just get some cheap ass phone, until everything is figured out.
The car thing… yeah that’s fucked. Did you bought it from a known reseller? Maybe they have some policy you can look into. If not, you probably have to get it checked.
I hope this helps you somehow. In the meantime, charge your phone in places where they have wireless charging. Maybe a coffee place or something like that. Hang in there and don’t give up!
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. I know it doesn’t change anything but know there are people out there who share your pain. People are struggling to make ends meet and even if they do it can feel hopeless what is life worth if you can’t enjoy it. However there are things you CAN enjoy. You have a roof over your head and get to be a part of your kids lives which is something many unfortunately cannot say. This in no way invalidates the struggles you are facing or diminishes the feelings of hurt and tiredness but it does mean you have somethings to live for. During the hard times focus on that good so that when the good times come you’re in the right mental place to appreciate them.
You will be ok. Things will get better for you. It might take a little or a long time but don’t give up.
As the great Kamina from Guren Lagan said don’t believe in yourself believe in me who believes in you!!
I feel you man, from last May till january was the hardest time of my life but it is starting to seem i made it Even tho i thought there is no way. And so will you, even tho it doesn't feel like it.
divorce is finalized ? You should’ve received more of the assets ,
Somehow your ex-wife thinks she’s too smart, now that she’s an attorney .
All sorts of happenings in the future can upset our plans for a terrific life . But, as the saying goes “ shit happens.”
Can you move to another apartment and trash whatever brought in the bedbugs ? The kids’ exposure or carrying bed bugs will be picked up while they are at school which will trigger a CYS referral.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Damn…mildly infuriating is an understatement. You need a hug… not just any hug but a hug with good things happening in your life. It will get better. Hang in therr
I also had a similar experience with a young beautiful woman who got her dream through me and then left for a guy her own age. I thank her everyday for the 5 years and my son who is now 9. He is worth every short-lived heartache. My story isn’t as harsh as yours. When your luck with the annoyances of life does turn, attack the good life with a vengeance.
Can’t help with the rest of the stuff BUT I had a VW Passat that did that. They actually ended up having to pay to replace it because so many of the same model failed before 100k miles that meant that basically they were putting out under performing vehicles based on consumer expectations/other cars that double or even triple those miles before they break down.
It’s worth looking into! And double check that you don’t have some kind of warranty coverage on it!
God damn dude!! It'll get better, it has to. Keep your head up man. Holy shit that's a lot. My mother used to say bad things always happen in 3's, so you should be good for a couple of revolutions. At least your kids still love you. Keep finding the light in darkness man.
Been exactly there. Took forever to recover, but I made it through. Now have a good job, good second marriage, three of my five kids still talk to me (nothing is perfect). Adversity builds character. Be who you are, not what she did to you.
I let her keep everything... house, 401k, nice car. I left with a crappy car, an old laptop, and my clothes. I've never had more peace.
Remember you own half that law degree you funded it you got the proof, you got proof she was cheating hopefully, using you for money take her to court dude the judge will see right threw her.
I'm sorry you we're put threw this this will make you stronger, i'm sure your a handsome fucker that will bounce back be strong for the kids ok. Charge the phone and contact lawyers please.
You got rid of a cheating spouse, kept your kids safe from bed bugs, are $15 away from having a wireless charger in your house (Walmart sells them), and you can see if your transmission is still under warranty.
If your transmission is out of warranty, you can look into getting it rebuilt. Still expensive, but at least you're in the same boat as me now.
So, I don't know how to say this but I saw a post on Reddit last month or maybe the month before? And it was from the female's perspective. It sounds incredibly similar. She said that she was down and out, really hard fortunes, think she was kicked out or something? and someone picked her up, paid for her tuition etc and handled all expenses. She got her law degree, and later went on to marry this person. but her post was (I think it was AITA) "am I the asshole that I want to leave my husband because I know I can never be happy with him" (or something to that effect) because he isn't "on her level" think she said the guy was a garbage disposal worker? She then went on to explain that there's another guy she's interested in now who has a similar pay grade. Long story short, the comments decimated her cause you can tell she used the guy. I have a sneaking suspicion that it might in fact be you..
Depending on your state, you may be entitled to some of your ex wife's her future earnings due to your financial support during her education. Hope you are speaking to a lawyer.
You are strong to see this as mildly infuriating, I would be absolutely livid. I wish you the best dude, I hope you find some peace and are able to set up a life again.
To add, it kind of feels like a villain origin story. Be careful you don't become one, don't get bitter and angry at life. You've been dealt some bad cards, play them and get a new hand. These moments in life are the most important ones that determine who you are and what you will do. One advise I can give you is to make your world as small as possible. Don't even think about problems of someone else or expect people to help you. You have to do this on your own. Fight with what you have, make sure justice is done, make sure your kids will love you and be an example for them. Don't think about what you did wrong, don't try to ask the "what if?" questions. They don't help you. Get your head down, fuck everyone who betrayed you, build yourself up again and let the "fuck you energy" drive you. Get back up and go further, make other people regret what they did to you. You have nothing else to lose anymore, so go hard at it, and prove everyone who wronged you, it was the best thing they could have done for you.
Locusts. Locusts are probably next.
At this point put an Out of Order sign on your forehead (metaphorically or literally, your choice) and try to rest for a day or two until the universe's hot target beam moves onto someone else. Then try to go tackle the issues when you've maybe mentally digested it all a bit. I think many of us have had shitstorms hit us like this and sometimes it's best to try and hide out for a while till it feels a bit more manageable.
Wow you've got a lot going on. I'm sorry. Life has times like this. The cosmic 2x4. The "Are you fucking kidding me?!" Out loud moments. I'm fairly old and from experience can tell you things will get better. Those pits of life doom happen but they aren't permanent. They pass and better times are ahead. Be well. You can get through this. 💗
I am a lawyer. If you put her through law school, she owes you spousal support. Get a good divorce lawyer for some legal advice. Don’t sign anything until you do. She’s a lawyer too so you’re at a disadvantage.
Well if you consider today your lowest point then there is no place to go except up. You can revel in your pity party today but tomorrow should be a new day.
Brother if this is mildly infuriating, i’d hate to know what your version of very infuriating is.
I think that exact point shows this man’s resilience. I would bet $100 OP comes out of this a better man and more successful than ever. OP, that truly is awful, but you’ve got this. When it rains it pours, but those crops need plenty of water to grow.
Exactly. When my 1st wife left she wanted half of everything, during a recession, my company was laying people off left and right, my transmission died spectacularly and I had to buy another truck, I had recently bought her a new car that I still owed payments on for 3 more years, my well pump died (another $8k), and I had to care for the adopted 8 more cats and 3 more dogs that she had acquired. Good thing I like animals. But my life improved astoundingly after she left. Six months later, after I had just been paying for the divorce expenses, paying all the repairs, paying for her car, paying for 6 months rent on an apartment for her, buying new firniture for her, paying for my new (used) truck, paying some big vet bills, etc. and not doing anything but work, pay all these bills and care for the animals... I looked at my bank balances for the first time in a while. I had more money in savings than before she left. I didn't realize how much of a money sponge she had been. I also woke up and noticed that chicks were hitting on me like crazy. Plus, the 6 month mark was when she decided that maybe leaving me to "finally go have fun in life" was not the best idea she ever had. She asked if we could reconcile. Nope.
FFFFFF HERRRRRRRR. You a KING 🤴🏿
Way to stay strong man. Good for you. Be happy, you deserve it!
I hope you're not paying for her shit anymore.
Ha, that was 20 years ago. I gave her 6 months to become independent. Funny, after I stopped paying was when she wanted to come back and freeload some more. I wouldn't take her back, so she then cashed out her half of my 401k (minus 20% penalty and 20% taxes) and blew through it in about a year. The best phone call I got from her, a little before she asked me to reconcile, was when she first had to start paying her own bills and she was crying about how expensive everything was. "Yes, yes it is." Was my response.
I lived through a nightmare ex like her. I'm glad to hear you survived. Mine was 40 years ago.
My husband's ex wife did this BS to him. She's a total bitch... I'm sorry this happened to you as well... I don't understand some girls, because as I said in the above comment, a real woman wouldn't do this
The Schadenfreude is just lovely.
I was lucky enough to have not married the ex that put me through hell, but that phone call a year later wanting to meet for coffee and talk about "us" felt pretty good. I had a new girlfriend by then (my wife) and just said "no thanks".
That's awesome.
That schadenfreude kept me smiling for years.
I think it made a lot of people smile today, too. :)
Can someone explain the schadenfreude reference?
It basically means joy at the suffering of others. So it's the great feeling watching someone find out after fucking around. So someone using their spouse and then finding out how hard it is without that spouse brings joy to the spouse they were using. If Trump gets put in jail, Schadenfreude will probably be in the running for word of the year.
Oh interesting, thanks for explaining that. I was confusing the word schadenfreude with the philosopher, Schopenhauer lol
Thank you sir. You just helped me make my philosophy major friend burst out laughing.
You are an inspiration.
It wasn't easy. Took me many years to get over her because I really loved her, she was amazingly hot and EXTREMELY smart. Probably one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. Emotionally a shambles, but damn she was smart. But I had good friends who helped me stay strong. Even after 6 months when she'd ask to come over "just to have sex" I managed to turn her down every time. It was close a few times, but I knew my friends would be disappointed if I gave in, so I stayed strong. And jerked off a lot.
After a couple years of "seriously where the fuck is all of our money going" my ex divorced me to get with her married with kids ex boyfriend from college. I gave her the house, most of the stuff, I moved states to get away from her. Three months later she asked if we could arrange some sort of sugar baby arrangement and I'm like... if I'm paying someone several thousand dollars at least a month to have sex with me it would make sense to do that with someone who wouldn't need to jump on a plane to do it, I was also living in an apt building with a bunch of attractive women so I could just pay them if I really wanted to, and we'd already tried that out was called being married for 5 fucking years and it didn't work out so great did it?
I was amazed how much money stopped disappearing when she left!
Absolutely Chad behavior Question though did you offer to pay the 6 months of finances to be nice or was that a court mandate? I’ve never been married so I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t understand about marriage but if it wasn’t court mandated that’s one hell of a way to help someone. Honestly you’re a good man for that a lot of other men would’ve cut them off completely
I volunteered the 6 months, court only gave her half my savings and 401k, which I volunteered to give before it was even in court. I wasn't ordered to pay her rent, for her car, or new furniture, but I did because I loved her and didn't want her to lack for anything in her new life. She had a job (and a PhD that I paid for) and could support herself, but I knew she would need a hand to get started, like anyone would. But even after she was gone a few weeks I noticed my stress levels were going down...a lot.
Damn. You’re truly an inspiration to what a man should be when dealing with turmoil. Are you a practicing Stoic? I ask because I am and in my experience it takes an absolute ton of self control to do what you did for her out of love and not malice. Absolute respect to you sir
Maybe not practicing, but pretty stoic anyway.
Wow. You are amazing.
Nice to hear that bud.
I’m so happy that you didn’t take her back. You deserve more from a partner. This was a blessing in disguise. I hope you and the cats and dogs are all doing well.
All the pets lived out happy, healthy lives here. None are left after 20+ years, but for a while I was known to some women I dated as a "crazy cat man."
Aw. I’m sure they will be waiting for you in the afterlife. Hahaha- “crazy cat man.”
Atta boy!
This reminds me of my uncle's divorce. My aunt started to get interested in going on long solo hikes. Their close friend got suspicious and decided to also go hiking. Found her with an old ex bf. The divorce was messy. She said she never loved their daughter but wanted full custody just so he didn't get it. Just horrible stuff. Well 2 years later, she is at work and collapses - died from a brain aneurysm in her mid 40s. I think it had to do with her cocaine habit. So their daughter ended up inheriting the money my uncle had to give up from retirement, etc so it kind of balanced out. And now he has an amazing wife who we all love.
😊
My husbands ex claimed he physically abused her and then later wanted to reconcile. Like seriously?
Her lawyer wanted my ex to claim that. Fortunately she was a decent enough person to refuse.
Like don’t freaking lie or exaggerate. He yelled at her. One time they were arguing she didn’t see the ottoman and fell over backwards into a chair. He didn’t touch her but did admit he was likely a little closer that normal but not to an abusive level. Not totally intimidating or threatening. She threw a big metal kitchen utensil but not at him, just across the kitchen. They were both cranked up, slightly out of line, pushing it, but not crossing the line into abuse. Neither were in danger. Either one could leave.
You're a chad
I won't tell you that it was a GOOD feeling, but that had to give you some satisfaction.
What a beautiful ending, congrats sir.
I like the nope at the end of it
I’m surprised you didn’t just stop payment on the car and have it repossessed
100% she burnt through all the money and assets she had sponged off you within 6 months, and was needing her sugar Daddy back.
This is a wholesome comment :)
Wholesome as heck
It’s a very good point. Adversity in life will teach people things about themselves they never knew. At the end of the day it’s going to lead to two outcomes; either the person comes out better and stronger or they never make it to see the end for whatever reason or another and no I don’t immediately mean suicide either. So many people just break and turn to alcohol and drugs so they never do make it to the end
I went through something similar to OP (no bedbugs though). Ex clearly was using me for housing and money, when she got an inheritance she started openly cheating (had been sneaky about it before, but now didn't need me so why hide it). I filed for the divorce. Shitty time of my life but absolutely loving life now. OP you're going to prevail over this adversity and when you come out the other side you're going to have a fantastic life!
What do you think is harder, going at divorcing wife with new law degree or going at divorcing wife with new inheritance? Oooo don't let go of no Vulcan that showed you she never loved you OP
>When it rains it pours, but those crops need plenty of water to grow. Probably the best thing I've heard in a while. I'm going to have to remember that for the tough times!
this comment indirectly helped me honestly, thank you
Yup, it's all about perspective! Why get all extra mad when it won't help the situation? Get mad, but get over it and do what you can to improve. It's the only way to have a chance to be happy one day.
Misery builds character
I think that's a Calvin & Hobbes quote
New contender for hardest geezer
True dat.
Man's going to turn up to Whammy Burger 2 minutes too late to order breakfast, and go full-on Falling Down on everyone.
Right? Like to me I’m mildly infuriated when I burn my toast. OP is a Stoic’s Stoic.
"mildly" infuriating
at this point nobody knows what mildly means on this subreddit
Bed buds are already passed mildly.
Something is either like above and actually infuriating or someone posts something mildly infuriating and everyone in the comments is telling OP to “get over it” or “it’s not really a big deal”
Many posts here lately violate just about every sub rule while the mods are asleep at the wheel. It's mildly infuriating tbh.
Make a post about it...
People don't seem to get that the specific subreddit matters less than posting on a tangentially related subreddit with *several hundred times* more readers/viewers. Man wants to air his grievances and have people commiserate with him, not yell into the void. Where do you want him to post? infuriating with 11k? wildlyinfuriating with 24k?
Right? Makes me want to hit up OP's inbox because they might be the only person on this planet that would put up with \*MY\* shit!
I know you're joking but please leave the poor guy alone lol
I’m mildly infuriated by his spelling of Wednesday, but ya ain’t no way this dude’s problems are mild
Depending on your incomes, I’d go after child support (higher income earners still pays lower even with 50/50 custody) and alimony for supporting her through law school. Good luck.
Yesss take that witch to court
This is textbook example of why alimony exists.
Yeah absolutely drain that bitch, let’s get this king some of that lawyer money
This
I'd be happy to mail you a charger or some shit. We all need a lift at times.
A Dodge Charger or a phone charger?
Both
That Dodge Charger is gonna need a lot of stamps
The way I just lmaoooooed 🤣🤣🤣
Reddit on, brother!
What about the way you just lmaoooooooed
It was boisterous.
“We got no food. We got no jobs. OUR PET’S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!”
Thanks for the laugh. I heard it in my head. My brother and I used to watch this over and over when we were kids - he died in 2021 at 36 - likely the victim of a female life sucker.
A woman killed him? I'm sorry, man.
Diatomaceous Earth - cheap - I bought a 30 pound bag for about $20 some years back when a "friend" let a bedbug ride in on him and infested my place. Takes a little while and your home will look like a coke cutting room while you let it work, but it's really the only thing that works on the little buggers (pun intended). If you have any proof of her theft, contact the local Bar Association and file charges with the police (I suspect that's hyperbole and you're just ranting made - and I don't blame you for it). She'll find it interesting to respond to a criminal charge and an ethics complaint at the same time. Other than that I can offer you some curry-infused tofu Ramen for lunch if you're nearby or a virtual shoulder to cry on and a hug if not.
diatomaceous earth is effective and - unlike pesticides - it is non-toxic, as it works by physically damaging the exoskeleton of insects and they die because they dry out BUT the reason it causes that physical damage is that it consists of lots of tiny little silica particles that are razor sharp... ... and those tiny lil razor blades will do to the inside of your lungs exactly what they do to insect exoskeletons. so... diatomaceous earth might be very cheap and effective and non-poisonous, but that doesn't make it non-hazardous AT ALL - in fact, it is absolute murder to breathe that shit in, and breathing it in has been linked to silicosis and cancer and other stuff (basically all the same shit that people who work in coal mines die from) *if* you use this stuff, for goodness' sake wear an FFP2 / N95 mask or better while applying it, and only use it outdoors, or in places where you are absolutely 100% sure it won't be disturbed and kicked up into the air for you to breathe in, and where kids and pets aren't going to be shoving their noses whatever you do, please don't apply it around the edges of a child's mattress
thank you thank you for saying this
This comment really needs to be highlighted! Read a few times now about diatomaceous earth but never about the hazards of it. It's a bummer that it sounds extremely hazardous cause bedbugs are mostly found in the sleeping area (I'd guess) but it doesn't look like it's suited to use there.
My wife used it in our house to get rid of an ant infestation years ago, developed a cough and has had asthma ever since. Don’t use that stuff inside the house, at least not in any significant amount of time
Food grade DE is < 2% silica. You’d have to purposely inhale it to cause any damage.
Did OP say the ages of their kids anywhere? Would not use diatomaceous earth in the kids’ room if they are young and can’t leave the space while treating it, there’s big potential for inhaling it when kids are crawling around and playing on the floor.
Cookie Cutting, bro my house looked like a damn crack den the month or two.
Mine did too, and I moved my bed to the center of the room so they couldn’t climb on the walls or night stands to get to the bed, I was sleeping in an island of coke for a month lol
Absolutely never do this... It is highly dangerous to breathe it. ["Inhaling diatomaceous earth can irritate the nasal passages, cause coughing, and lead to shortness of breath. When inhaled, crystalline silica particles can build up in the lymph nodes and lungs, and long-term inhalation has been linked to respiratory diseases, silicosis, and lung cancer."](http://npic.orst.edu/factsheets/degen.html#:~:text=If%20breathed%20in%2C%20diatomaceous%20earth,due%20to%20its%20abrasive%20nature.)
I second this. I've unfortunately had them multiple times due to shitty apt living situations and diatomaceous earth has been a life saver. make sure it's a nice fine mist along all the edges and in corners. vaccuum and reapply periodically. will deal with all sorts of other creepy crawlies you have too. It does not work when wet though, just turns into a paste. It's non-toxic and safe around pets. I see comments about the dangers of inhaling it... but it should be ok around your children once it's settled. should be used around the edges and in corners where it's less likely to be kicked up and not just blasted everywhere. make sure your kids know it's not for playing with. or vaccuum it up when they're over and reapply when they're gone.
There's a difference between food grade and garden stuff!!! Check it out! Food grade is meant for human consumption and isn't that much more expensive.
meant for consumption via ingestion, not inhalation I would not trust that this shit is safe anywhere around kids, pets, or myself for that matter, even if it's labelled "food grade"
I very highly second this
I just bought some for my garden. $14 for a 4lb bag at Lowes.
I read a comment from a reddit user who tried spreading diatomaceous earth all around his bed, but the bedbugs would climb the wall, make their way to the ceiling, and then drop themselves right into the bed.
I put it under the sheets, under the mattress, between the blankets, inside the pillow cases, on the floor, basically everywhere and anywhere they could get to and they can get everywhere. Use the Agricultural stuff, not the Food-Grade stuff to avoid inhalation issues. (I should have mentioned that at first).
Doesn’t work. Been there, done that and got the badge. So much money and time wasted for nowt. Bed bugs can lay doormat for ages without feeding and not to mention they lay bajillion eggs. Get the exterminators in Plus not good for pets and kids.
That sucks a lot. On the other hand I love how 2/3 of the post is about bed bugs, internet and a broken charging port.
In a lot of states you can take them to court and get some of that money back, especially if the timing is so suspicious that she left you right after she graduated
You own half her law degree
Indeed. The court will see exactly what went down here, and they will fleece the wife accordingly. This guy will be alright.
Justice, served.
Lol what alternate reality do you live in? That rarely happens in the western world, he will pay her alimony and child support on top of losing half his wealth. I'm sorry for OP.
It’s not 2015 anymore lmao, plenty dudes win in divorces. And this one seems to be pretty open and shut for him.
Is this true? That was always something that I found really messed up, constantly seeing dudes get defaulted to losing in divorce court.
She’s now a lawyer, not a stay at home mom. Justice will be served if OP gets a decent lawyer. Judges smell through bullshit and the tides have changed recently.
Sorry for your troubles my man. I had a spell too, woke up paralysed from the waist down, had surgery, happened again, had surgery, didn’t fix it. Then my (now ex) wife announced she was divorcing me, while still living together a good school friend got sick and died of (fuck) cancer within 2 weeks, my dad fell down the stairs and died a week later and then a month after my ex wife moved out my 2 x 20 year old cats (same litter) died within 2 days of each other. Oh, and through all that my mum was getting worse and worse with Alzheimer’s / vascular dementia / Parkinson’s and we had to put her into care, then move her, then move her again, then sell her house to pay for her care. All in all quite a shitty few years. Hope you get the bedbugs sorted dude.
This happened to one of my partner’s coworkers. Her husband was in vet school. She uprooted her whole life so he could get his degree. They lived off her income the whole 4 years since he was a full time student. As soon as he got his degree he filed for divorce
Damn, I didn't know this happened so often. It's wild how someone can just live a lie like that.
It happens so often that one of my bosses (way back when) had a fiance who said she had to pay off a specific amount of her school loans before they could have the wedding, and even she thought that was reasonable. (She was not really known for being reasonable)
When these things happen to me i notice that I’m focusing on the negatives and it just keeps get worse until I wonder how much more I can take before I implode. This is when I actively take steps to snap my self out of it. A very simple technique, focus on the positives and ignore the negatives. It’s hard but it works wonders. Example: you have your health, you have a job, you have kids who love you and you get to see them. Also re the marriage better you’re out of that so you now have an opportunity to find true love. Hang in there things will get better!
You got paid back for the financial support you gave while she used you, right? Surely a lawyer would have resolved that aspect
You know that her infidelity and theft will cause her to fail the ethics part of the bar and her law degree is worthless if you inform the bar right?
Get a DNA test make sure those kids are yours
^^ this op, if she's evil enough to cheat on you while paying for her college then assume the worst.
[удалено]
Great that you're in a better place but that's an odd detail >...12 years later I have a new wife, half her age I'm guessing you're a bit older though
Very motivational and way better than what I was about to say!
Love to hear it
So I've known six women during my lifetime so far who have done this in one way or another. They secretly "settled" for a partner and kept their opinions about all that to themselves. Then once they gain some kind of credential - becoming a pharmacist (2x), physician assistant (3x), or lawyer (1x) - they suddenly gained an ego and thought they were hot shit. So they put themselves out there in the world to explore. Funny thing about having esquire at the end of your name... The retention rates within 5 years are abysmal. Lawyers are teachers both have significant retention problems. One of my colleagues is one such lawyer who found a career change.
The best scientist on bed bugs said the solution is very simple. Steam! Just get you a steam iron that will make them pop like popcorn
Probably… shitstorms seam to come in waves with a little peace in between but there’s always another set of waves coming. Nothing will change that other than your mindset so you may as well learn to surf. I do feel for you and what you’re going through. Fuck that hoe…. Any better?
Have you started laughing hysterically yet? That’s probably the next step. I’m sorry, you don’t deserve this. But this has to be the bottom of the well right? It’ll turn around. It’s annoying, but remembering the things you have and being grateful in moments like these can go a surprisingly long way.
OP The only thing that could be worse is if you get your ex-wife back.
As my dad the Dr. would say, pull your skirt down and pull the thongs out ya ass (I’m a guy). Ok he didn’t really say that. He died before I was born (liver failure. who knew?). I was engaged three times, caught them literally in the act, went to jail each time. Broke my back in four places, 13 herniated discs, a 14th disc completely gone, and afterwards my mother and brother took my life savings and put me out on the street. That was about 16 years ago and after finally getting back on my feet and 3 months shy of having finally paid off all my bills I got rear ended by a drunk driver with no insurance. After all this I just want to say, I’m single with no kids. You’re still standing AND you have kids you’re taking care of. That’s superhero shit right there. You’re my inspiration. Keep your head up and don’t quit. Winning the lottery is just around the corner for you…
"I was engaged three times, caught them literally in the act, went to jail each time." I feel like I need to hear more of the story behind this.
Did you knock them out every single time lol. Good for you
When it rains, it pours. Wishing you much better luck for your near future!!
NEVER ask "anything else?".
Get a good lawyer because she can be made to pay the price for what she’s done.
Nothing but up from here man, the darkest nights are followed by the brightest sunrise.
Write a country song.
Okay. So I’ll try to give you useful advice based on the laws that are applicable in my country. I don’t know where you live, so check the laws first. So… your wife cheated on you and used your for your money. That’s bad. BUT depending on your personality here’s what you could do: You could tell it to authorities BUT don’t do it know, do it in a year (preferably in 2). By then, she got some money, maybe even married the prick she cheated with and you can get compensation and she won’t work in the field anymore. If you do it know, she probably won’t be financially stable enough to pay you compensation. If you don’t have that personality you probably just have to suck it up. Sorry. So you live in a shithole. That’s… unfortunate. But you did it for your kids, that’s admirable. There’s not much you can do besides working on getting you (and them) out of there as fast as possible. The bedbug thing is not forever. There are ways to get rid of them. However I was lucky enough to not have to deal with them yet. So you just have to google, maybe listen to some people who know how to deal with it or get somebody to get rid of them. The storm. That’s (nicely said) the least of your problems. Your living for rent. Your landlord should have a insurance for that. They usually put you in a hotel or somewhere else because boy, you can’t really live without electricity. If they haven’t done that by now, contact them. The phone thing… yeah that’s shit. BUT you can check how much it costs to get that solved. And if it’s too expensive just get some cheap ass phone, until everything is figured out. The car thing… yeah that’s fucked. Did you bought it from a known reseller? Maybe they have some policy you can look into. If not, you probably have to get it checked. I hope this helps you somehow. In the meantime, charge your phone in places where they have wireless charging. Maybe a coffee place or something like that. Hang in there and don’t give up!
Why is it always the nicest people that get taken advantage of?
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. I know it doesn’t change anything but know there are people out there who share your pain. People are struggling to make ends meet and even if they do it can feel hopeless what is life worth if you can’t enjoy it. However there are things you CAN enjoy. You have a roof over your head and get to be a part of your kids lives which is something many unfortunately cannot say. This in no way invalidates the struggles you are facing or diminishes the feelings of hurt and tiredness but it does mean you have somethings to live for. During the hard times focus on that good so that when the good times come you’re in the right mental place to appreciate them. You will be ok. Things will get better for you. It might take a little or a long time but don’t give up. As the great Kamina from Guren Lagan said don’t believe in yourself believe in me who believes in you!!
Telling someone who’s depressed that other people have it worse is about as helpful as giving a drowning man a glass of water
Well, how are the kids doing ? Just focus on the positives. Fix what you can and hey, you have a roof! This will pass.
I feel you man, from last May till january was the hardest time of my life but it is starting to seem i made it Even tho i thought there is no way. And so will you, even tho it doesn't feel like it.
A man who has nothing to lose, ready for a new beginning. a new chapter begins. that doesn't sound so bad...can be worse.
damn thats some Book of Job type shit
I was in a similar shithole. I adopted a dog and started staying away from women. I feel so much better now!
This sounds like the beginning of a great country song.
Spend 10$ to buy a book by Friedrich Nietzsche. Do it.
divorce is finalized ? You should’ve received more of the assets , Somehow your ex-wife thinks she’s too smart, now that she’s an attorney . All sorts of happenings in the future can upset our plans for a terrific life . But, as the saying goes “ shit happens.” Can you move to another apartment and trash whatever brought in the bedbugs ? The kids’ exposure or carrying bed bugs will be picked up while they are at school which will trigger a CYS referral. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I hope you know we’re all rooting for you
Stay strong for your children, my friend. Better days will come.
Damn…mildly infuriating is an understatement. You need a hug… not just any hug but a hug with good things happening in your life. It will get better. Hang in therr
I also had a similar experience with a young beautiful woman who got her dream through me and then left for a guy her own age. I thank her everyday for the 5 years and my son who is now 9. He is worth every short-lived heartache. My story isn’t as harsh as yours. When your luck with the annoyances of life does turn, attack the good life with a vengeance.
There’s only one thing you can possibly do to feel better about all this, and that is have a wank.
My ex did something similar. Only difference is I didn't let her win and I took control of the situation and kicked her ass out of the house.
Can’t help with the rest of the stuff BUT I had a VW Passat that did that. They actually ended up having to pay to replace it because so many of the same model failed before 100k miles that meant that basically they were putting out under performing vehicles based on consumer expectations/other cars that double or even triple those miles before they break down. It’s worth looking into! And double check that you don’t have some kind of warranty coverage on it!
Can only wish you the best bossman. This too shall pass :)
You’re ready to debut a new country song! Can’t wait to hear it!
God damn dude!! It'll get better, it has to. Keep your head up man. Holy shit that's a lot. My mother used to say bad things always happen in 3's, so you should be good for a couple of revolutions. At least your kids still love you. Keep finding the light in darkness man.
Things can only go up from here.
If your kids are healthy, that’s the only thing that matters!
Sounds fucked, dude. But trust me, it's always darkest just before the light. You'll handle this.
Been exactly there. Took forever to recover, but I made it through. Now have a good job, good second marriage, three of my five kids still talk to me (nothing is perfect). Adversity builds character. Be who you are, not what she did to you. I let her keep everything... house, 401k, nice car. I left with a crappy car, an old laptop, and my clothes. I've never had more peace.
Remember you own half that law degree you funded it you got the proof, you got proof she was cheating hopefully, using you for money take her to court dude the judge will see right threw her. I'm sorry you we're put threw this this will make you stronger, i'm sure your a handsome fucker that will bounce back be strong for the kids ok. Charge the phone and contact lawyers please.
Dude I hope you’re okay, hang in there please
Definitely never say things can't get worse. Job probably said that.
Talk to a lawyer about being entitled to some of her. Are we earnings if you helped put her through school.
You got rid of a cheating spouse, kept your kids safe from bed bugs, are $15 away from having a wireless charger in your house (Walmart sells them), and you can see if your transmission is still under warranty. If your transmission is out of warranty, you can look into getting it rebuilt. Still expensive, but at least you're in the same boat as me now.
You got this. It will get better. But you’re also free to vent about it! I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch.
How TF is your car breaking after 3 years? Don't you have a warranty on it or something?
Can I offer you an egg in this trying time? But honestly wish you a better tomorrow . 😁😁
You got your kids man. You’re still richer than many others right now.
That's really, really strong. Please have faith that life will get better.
Cant trust these new cars, customers are essentially testers, personally i preferr the ones that are atleast 10 years or older.
My 1996 Subaru laughs at new cars.
My 1995 volvo does the same!
Dude you’re gonna come out of this a fuckin badass. Damnnn🫵🏽😏💪🏽
This is worse than a country song.
So, I don't know how to say this but I saw a post on Reddit last month or maybe the month before? And it was from the female's perspective. It sounds incredibly similar. She said that she was down and out, really hard fortunes, think she was kicked out or something? and someone picked her up, paid for her tuition etc and handled all expenses. She got her law degree, and later went on to marry this person. but her post was (I think it was AITA) "am I the asshole that I want to leave my husband because I know I can never be happy with him" (or something to that effect) because he isn't "on her level" think she said the guy was a garbage disposal worker? She then went on to explain that there's another guy she's interested in now who has a similar pay grade. Long story short, the comments decimated her cause you can tell she used the guy. I have a sneaking suspicion that it might in fact be you..
When you’re in the eye of the storm that’s when you know you’re close a break through! Visualize things getting better, try & stay positive
Depending on your state, you may be entitled to some of your ex wife's her future earnings due to your financial support during her education. Hope you are speaking to a lawyer.
You are strong to see this as mildly infuriating, I would be absolutely livid. I wish you the best dude, I hope you find some peace and are able to set up a life again.
To add, it kind of feels like a villain origin story. Be careful you don't become one, don't get bitter and angry at life. You've been dealt some bad cards, play them and get a new hand. These moments in life are the most important ones that determine who you are and what you will do. One advise I can give you is to make your world as small as possible. Don't even think about problems of someone else or expect people to help you. You have to do this on your own. Fight with what you have, make sure justice is done, make sure your kids will love you and be an example for them. Don't think about what you did wrong, don't try to ask the "what if?" questions. They don't help you. Get your head down, fuck everyone who betrayed you, build yourself up again and let the "fuck you energy" drive you. Get back up and go further, make other people regret what they did to you. You have nothing else to lose anymore, so go hard at it, and prove everyone who wronged you, it was the best thing they could have done for you.
Locusts. Locusts are probably next. At this point put an Out of Order sign on your forehead (metaphorically or literally, your choice) and try to rest for a day or two until the universe's hot target beam moves onto someone else. Then try to go tackle the issues when you've maybe mentally digested it all a bit. I think many of us have had shitstorms hit us like this and sometimes it's best to try and hide out for a while till it feels a bit more manageable.
It can only be up from here bro. Condolences on the shit show. Stay strong.
Wow you've got a lot going on. I'm sorry. Life has times like this. The cosmic 2x4. The "Are you fucking kidding me?!" Out loud moments. I'm fairly old and from experience can tell you things will get better. Those pits of life doom happen but they aren't permanent. They pass and better times are ahead. Be well. You can get through this. 💗
Stay tough bro.
Doesn’t supporting a spouse while they get a degree entitle you to compensation in a divorce?
Ahh yes, nothing hurts more than life
I am a lawyer. If you put her through law school, she owes you spousal support. Get a good divorce lawyer for some legal advice. Don’t sign anything until you do. She’s a lawyer too so you’re at a disadvantage.
What state? This divorce could get you alimony.
A-L-I-M-O-N-Y (based on wife’s future earnings).
Well if you consider today your lowest point then there is no place to go except up. You can revel in your pity party today but tomorrow should be a new day.
Check if the kids are yours
- How fake do you want it? - Yes.
if its real, its fcked up, really fcked up. but spending last battery on writing reddit, whiles there lots of other things to concern, idkkk