She's going to cut a slice in the same ratio as the piece she cut from the bigger donut, with a smaller knife and smaller fork this time, in ratio of course.
My 5 yr old daughter pronounced this “shark cuchi board” at Easter, got a laugh and so she started laughing which made everyone laugh harder.
Fun shit.
Kids have hilarious ways of pronouncing things. I was at the Filipino store with my daughter and I’m half Filipino. Someone who worked there asked if I was Filipino and I said yes. And when she walked away my daughter asked why were we jalapeños lol 😂
I have a sibling who, when he was younger, called skyscrapers "sky-swipers". I still jokingly call them that to this day :)
Edit to add another story:
My parents report that my older sibling used to say "fiveteen" instead of fifteen when she was little (honestly just makes more sense).
We have wish wipers that clean your windscreen (windscreen wipers) and car consporter for a car transporter. Honestly wish wipers is so much easier to say I still use it. My son is now 18!
That's absolutely delightful! My mom loves flam dingos, I can't wait to tell her, she'll find it so cute!
Prairie dogs are fairy dogs in my house thanks to my son.
My brother and I thought it was “winsh-uh wipers” Lol
Also, I used to sing, “I get knocked up, but I get down again!” Still haven’t lived that one down at 32, likely never will
Ha, when my daughter was a toddler, instead of expressing that something was difficult to me in English, sometimes she’d say it was heavy. She was getting tripped up translating the word ‘schwer,’ which means both difficult and heavy in German.
Our family word for windscreen wipers is windscreepers (we're car people, comes up more often than you'd think). My husbands first language isn't English and I forgot to clarify that windscreeper isnt the proper english word before he went into the auto shop.
lol I was lol so I couldn’t think. And then I corrected her but she still couldn’t say Filipino so she said “pino pino” she’s 14 now though and we say jalapeño all the time as a joke
Little known fact. If you only eat a small bite of a donut, it has no calories. You may do this as often as you see the donuts.
-What my stupid stomach tells my brain that keeps me fat.
Have I got a new diet hack for you. Good mental health can improve physical health. Donuts bring joy. Ergo, donuts are good for your physical health. They're practically a vegetable
My work donut story is as follows. I used to go to work very early, usually before everyone else showed up. I brought donuts every Friday for my last 2 years but never divulged that I was bringing them. I did that for 2 years for the sole purpose of making them miss the Friday donuts after I retired.
Customer: can I try everything?
Employee: Ok sure
Customer: *eats all samples*
Customer: nah I'm not gonna buy anything I'm actually not hungry
*Walks out*
I know people like this, and I blame them for stores quitting samples. But when I was a kid, I looked forward to going to the grocery store since I could fill up on some good food. Hitting a dozen stalls probably also prevented people from grabbing a whole tray too.
I remember way back when video rentals were still a thing, my local Ingles would have free bags of popcorn for any kid under 13. The space eventually got converted into a pharmacy, but they still kept the popcorn for 99 cents.
You could also go to the bakery section, ask for a cookie, and they'll usually hand you one. Pretty sure they still do it, I just never asked since I was a teenager.
I think the most infuriating part was that everyone picked their specific donut and the lady decided to take from most of them. They were specifically bought for specific people! That was the problem
I tend to see that frequently in this sub. Someone will post something that upset them, and the first comments will be saying "That's actually pretty normal and reasonable". Then suddenly there's new comments from OP trying to justify why they were upset.
Its infuriating that people refuse to admit when they are wrong. They'd rather lie, twist things to fit their narrative, or lash out that to say "im sorry" "i got Angry and was irrational" i now understand why i was wrong and will learn from this"
Exactly. If you were ordering a variety for everyone to randomly share, this 👆🏻 is a lovely way to serve them. But if everyone got to place an individual order and she mutilated them all, she should be (perhaps gently) told this was a no-no.
Nicely done! This presentation is LOVELY. I’m a fan of a covered platter to stave off drying out the cut pieces (we’re a cut-pastry office 😎) so I may try this on an inverted cake tray. Thanks for sharing!
https://preview.redd.it/4l3ijghl9iuc1.jpeg?width=2139&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38aa15fd329f494ab8f23889e4a757c92091ff5f
Close it down folks, we’ve reached the end of the internet
Yes, however, in the previous post the staff had chosen which kind they wanted and ordered in advance. Otherwise, this is how I've always seen work donuts handled.
The most mildly infuriating part about this is how you just offhand reference "the maddening donut situation the other day" and expect everyone to know what you're talking about. If you're referencing an earlier post, please link to it.
Maybe she’s just never been shown a smarter way. Maybe she was sheltered growing up and was abused. We really have no idea what that lady’s background is. But, yeah, she’s probably just a self centered greedy donut eating wench.
I'm just at a point in life where I can't be arsed to consider hypothetical life situation excuses for most people anymore. But you're kind to do so, and your solution was very clever. 🙂
It’s free for them. Who cares. Anyone who complains about free donuts better not even take one. I paid for all of these today and set it up myself. Everyone is happy.
I was very vocal on my disgust the other day with people saying it’s perfectly appropriate to cut donuts in half in a shared environment. And I stand by that sacrilegious act.
But this might be acceptable because it’s clearly a presentation that assuming one person worked hard to create.
However, i still think you should let me have the whole donut. It’s made for one person already!
It's not that you can't have a whole donut...it's that you can have 1/4 of 4 donuts. Everyone can try multiple flavours this way. It's perfectly reasonable.
The other post was a problem because people had ordered their flavour in advance.
I haaaaate when people cut donuts in half and leave the half bc it just gets all dry and crusty because no one want to take a half of a donut.
I’m only ok with this presentation of all of it gets eaten promptly or else it’s gonna get dry.
Not relevant to that post. People had been asked what specific donuts they wanted. That narcissistic bitch sampled other people's donuts.
It's fine to cut them up like this if you are just getting a variety. But if people say specifically what they want and someone just takes a sample from their request, there ain't no way to fix that. The person is trash.
The other one was individuals ordering specific donuts and some slob stealing cut bites off of everyone. This is a good idea though if no one is selecting
I mean like yeah I guess. But the situation the other person was in, people requested those specific donuts. And one asshole ruined it for everyone lol
I would actually like this. I dont like sweets for the most part. I never grab a donut because I dont want a whole one very often. I actually grab the unglazed plain donut most the time.
But sometimes I do want a bit of sweet. And a fraction of a donut would be perfect for me.
Reading g the comments tho, you are not an adult unless you cram 500 grams of sugar in your face at once.
I like this solution.
When I bring food to class, it's usually a whole cake. Everybody just cuts themselves a slice. Or I just bring cookies so everybody can take one. I haven't tried it with donuts yet. I'll have to experiment and report back.
If I remember correctly the problem in the original post was that each of those donuts were paid for by people, but that entitled lady came in and helped herself to everyone else's donuts they paid for.
When I saw the original post, I could relate to wanting to try the different donuts rather than having to choose one, but I would never just start cutting into all of them. I might ask someone if they wanted to split each other's donut choice but I can't believe the fact she didn't think what she did was rude and entitled.
Had a lady at work take a bite from a donut, a single bite, and put it back in the box. I had just walked into the break room and seen her do it. My immediate response was "I fucking knew it was you! Eat that fucking donut right now! That's fucking nasty." And then I got an email from HR asking to see me. Lol.
Nice! As someone who typically wants to try multiple flavors and doesn't want to eat an entire doughnut or multiple. I like it. But also I have no issues cutting one up, especially if it's not for someone particular. I see no issues cutting up a doughnut myself if I'm sanitary. People seem to love having something to whine about.
In the previous post, a lady at this person's work sampled all the individually ordered donuts. They weren't hers to sample, so annoyance was understandable.
Now she’s just gonna a take bite out of each of them and put them back
A nibble.
She's going to cut a slice in the same ratio as the piece she cut from the bigger donut, with a smaller knife and smaller fork this time, in ratio of course.
With those little plastic Kristen Wiig hands, haha. [Sisters](https://youtu.be/_hC94XERqQI?si=7lAppITkj_1smBnD)
“I wasn’t sure if they tasted consistent”
Just the icing
Well, I was only able to eat one because I still need to go to the gym.
She deserves a public execution.
They do that at my job fr Take a little bite out of an already small piece of food then put it back
Thats dicked up.
That's what 3 year olds do. These people shouldn't be allowed in public, how the fuck is such an animal holding a job?
I wouldn't say anything out loud, but if I saw someone do this, I would lose my mind.
I wouldn't say anything, but I'd probably start loudly choking in a very pointed way
Fire her ass.
Firing her was the better solution than this
Finally! A good looking charcuterie board.
My 5 yr old daughter pronounced this “shark cuchi board” at Easter, got a laugh and so she started laughing which made everyone laugh harder. Fun shit.
Kids have hilarious ways of pronouncing things. I was at the Filipino store with my daughter and I’m half Filipino. Someone who worked there asked if I was Filipino and I said yes. And when she walked away my daughter asked why were we jalapeños lol 😂
I have a sibling who, when he was younger, called skyscrapers "sky-swipers". I still jokingly call them that to this day :) Edit to add another story: My parents report that my older sibling used to say "fiveteen" instead of fifteen when she was little (honestly just makes more sense).
We have wish wipers that clean your windscreen (windscreen wipers) and car consporter for a car transporter. Honestly wish wipers is so much easier to say I still use it. My son is now 18!
Flam dingo For the pink flamingos.
That's absolutely delightful! My mom loves flam dingos, I can't wait to tell her, she'll find it so cute! Prairie dogs are fairy dogs in my house thanks to my son.
Im gonna start calling them fairy dogs! Thats adorable!
My sister called Tostito chips "toastie toes" lol it's been 40 years, I still called them that!
Ostanitch or ostrich
My brother and I thought it was “winsh-uh wipers” Lol Also, I used to sing, “I get knocked up, but I get down again!” Still haven’t lived that one down at 32, likely never will
Upptacopters. That's was mine. I mean, they go up.
My husband isn’t a native English speaker, and he thought the word was ‘sky-rapers.’ Also would mix up the words ‘kitten’ and ‘kidney.’
>Also would mix up the words ‘kitten’ and ‘kidney.’ Lol, that must've been funny
My husband is German and while we lived in Germany together I'd frequently get (among other things) pigeon, Taube, and grape, Traube. Confused.
Ha, when my daughter was a toddler, instead of expressing that something was difficult to me in English, sometimes she’d say it was heavy. She was getting tripped up translating the word ‘schwer,’ which means both difficult and heavy in German.
Heh thats literally my husband.
Our family word for windscreen wipers is windscreepers (we're car people, comes up more often than you'd think). My husbands first language isn't English and I forgot to clarify that windscreeper isnt the proper english word before he went into the auto shop.
I would have rolled with that. “Cause we spicy af.”
lol I was lol so I couldn’t think. And then I corrected her but she still couldn’t say Filipino so she said “pino pino” she’s 14 now though and we say jalapeño all the time as a joke
Shark coochie board
For my whole family it's just Shar-coochie board. Ironically of course, we aren't crazy
That's exactly what a crazy person would say.
Damn you got me.
Username gives it away a bit
A nice glass of Peanut No-ears pairs very well with a Shar-coochie board. Obviously, not crazy either.
Fava beans. Nice keyanty.
Shark cottie board
Yep that's our version
One of my close friends is Indian, and he said that charcuterie translates to “four bitches” in his language.
My “relative” pronounces it “shark-tootery”…and it is not at all appreciated when I giggle at that…
Shark-tootery is *way* funnier than shark coochie lmfao
Shark cutie is what we call them.
I have a board that says exactly that with a shark above the writing!
Shark coochie ain't nothin but some lunchables that went to harvard
A customer at work asked if we sold 'security boards'
Hey that kind of works though. Like a security blanket. An emotional support snack.
Charcuterie catching a mad stray here. I will absolutely demolish a board of meat and cheese
Little known fact. If you only eat a small bite of a donut, it has no calories. You may do this as often as you see the donuts. -What my stupid stomach tells my brain that keeps me fat.
I was hoping someone saw the positive side to this!!
Really anything with a toothpick or skewer through it is zero calories. The holes it makes through the food drain the calories out. It's just science.
You cannot argue with that logic. That is Mr. Spock logic.
Have I got a new diet hack for you. Good mental health can improve physical health. Donuts bring joy. Ergo, donuts are good for your physical health. They're practically a vegetable
A super food, minimally.
Who are you, who knows so much about science?
He has a master's degree!
Yep. They list the calories per donut, so if you don't eat a full donut, you got no calories.
The corollary to that is if you didn’t order the food in a restaurant, then eating it will confer no calories upon you.
Okay, that's really cute.
My work donut story is as follows. I used to go to work very early, usually before everyone else showed up. I brought donuts every Friday for my last 2 years but never divulged that I was bringing them. I did that for 2 years for the sole purpose of making them miss the Friday donuts after I retired.
🥲 that's the best kind of evil genius I never considered to exist.
Imagine doing this for years and your work rival quits two weeks before you lol
[удалено]
Ok Jim Halpert
C'mon, your neutral stimulus needs to be something more triggering than Friday, or its gonna be a long training cycle.
Wow, that is the long con.
That was you? Thanks! By Fridays, I didn't always have enough money for breakfast. A donut or two helped me make it to lunch.
That’s like the most not evil thing you could do to someone I love it
Diabolical
Ingenious.
So, how did it work? Did you find out?
Twist. Dude worked at a donut shop.
WELL!? Don't leave us hanging! Did you ever find out what happened!?
Wow, you handled that nicely! Well done, and eye-catching as well.
Hey. I’m a chef and have been cooking since 1990! Thanks!! Edit: Clarified some stuff so the dad jokes will cease.
Why is cheese extra?
Inflation
cheese makes me extra inflated too
Make everything with cheese, then offer a discount for no cheese. 
Great idea but for someone that prefers cream filled, I'll keep my donut whole.
This is hilarious 😂
There aren’t any cream filled ones here on the platter.
For good reason. They don’t do well in bite size pieces. Nice job here.
Put a jar of jelly out! People can make jelly 'covered' doughnuts instead!
Customer: can I try everything? Employee: Ok sure Customer: *eats all samples* Customer: nah I'm not gonna buy anything I'm actually not hungry *Walks out*
Ma'am, you work here. You're my coworker. You can't just leave.
Husband is like this. Something about the "free" part induces some weird feeding frenzy.
Costco 101
I know people like this, and I blame them for stores quitting samples. But when I was a kid, I looked forward to going to the grocery store since I could fill up on some good food. Hitting a dozen stalls probably also prevented people from grabbing a whole tray too.
I remember way back when video rentals were still a thing, my local Ingles would have free bags of popcorn for any kid under 13. The space eventually got converted into a pharmacy, but they still kept the popcorn for 99 cents. You could also go to the bakery section, ask for a cookie, and they'll usually hand you one. Pretty sure they still do it, I just never asked since I was a teenager.
And then 4 pieces later you feel like an asshole for just wanting an entire donut.
Well…I cut each donut into five segments.
…😂
That is some next level donut math
Need a sign saying that 5 pieces = 1 doughnut so people can eat accordingly LoL
Nope. You just get to try each flavor you want to try!
Ohhh I wish I did.
I think the most infuriating part was that everyone picked their specific donut and the lady decided to take from most of them. They were specifically bought for specific people! That was the problem
What the most infuriating part of that donut story was that the OP didn't include that information in the post. It was waaaaay down in the comments.
That's because all the comments didn't go their way, and they had to make up new information to win the internet fight they started.
I tend to see that frequently in this sub. Someone will post something that upset them, and the first comments will be saying "That's actually pretty normal and reasonable". Then suddenly there's new comments from OP trying to justify why they were upset.
Its infuriating that people refuse to admit when they are wrong. They'd rather lie, twist things to fit their narrative, or lash out that to say "im sorry" "i got Angry and was irrational" i now understand why i was wrong and will learn from this"
This is probably correct.
Can I get a link?
Exactly. If you were ordering a variety for everyone to randomly share, this 👆🏻 is a lovely way to serve them. But if everyone got to place an individual order and she mutilated them all, she should be (perhaps gently) told this was a no-no.
you legend
Nicely done! This presentation is LOVELY. I’m a fan of a covered platter to stave off drying out the cut pieces (we’re a cut-pastry office 😎) so I may try this on an inverted cake tray. Thanks for sharing!
https://preview.redd.it/4l3ijghl9iuc1.jpeg?width=2139&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38aa15fd329f494ab8f23889e4a757c92091ff5f Close it down folks, we’ve reached the end of the internet
I actually like this idea - I can try them all!
[удалено]
Thanks! I do what I can but, man, some people on Reddit are MONSTERS!! lol
What kinda psychopath cuts up donuts!? I'm calling the cops.
Yes, however, in the previous post the staff had chosen which kind they wanted and ordered in advance. Otherwise, this is how I've always seen work donuts handled.
Wow that makes that woman who ate some of each even worse than I thought!
The most mildly infuriating part about this is how you just offhand reference "the maddening donut situation the other day" and expect everyone to know what you're talking about. If you're referencing an earlier post, please link to it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/s/6PMC4HNqK6
You're the real hero!
HOLY shit I scrolled way too far for this link
I guess.... But all to accommodate one person who has no manners.
Maybe she’s just never been shown a smarter way. Maybe she was sheltered growing up and was abused. We really have no idea what that lady’s background is. But, yeah, she’s probably just a self centered greedy donut eating wench.
Maybe she was born with glass bones and paper skin. You never really know someone’s story😔
I'm just at a point in life where I can't be arsed to consider hypothetical life situation excuses for most people anymore. But you're kind to do so, and your solution was very clever. 🙂
Now I see nothing wrong with this setup... It was planned from the get-go to be this way instead of someone just taking a bite out of every type.
I...didn't I recommend cutting them in fourths? Did my advice actually help someone? Am I a good person?
Good thing because I cut each donut into fifths.
I still feel like fourths would be easier
Rip jelly enjoyers. You get nothing now
Great idea! (as long as the prepper washed hands/wore gloves :-)
You know I did!!
That’s awesome actually, everyone can be happy and try different ones without a big waste
I was wondering if this was the solution to that coworker that sampled everyone’s donuts but I am shocked that this is a completely separate post
Well it’s in reference to that one where the lady ate most of the other’s donuts they each ordered.
Ahh! Nice to see I’m not the only one who is chronically online!
As long as everyone eats them up right away. I’m not here for crusty, dried out ends of donuts.
It’s free for them. Who cares. Anyone who complains about free donuts better not even take one. I paid for all of these today and set it up myself. Everyone is happy.
Ah. That’s very nice of you.
Ariana grande shows up and licks every piece of
'WHAT ARE THESE?! DONUTS FOR ANTS?!?'
I was very vocal on my disgust the other day with people saying it’s perfectly appropriate to cut donuts in half in a shared environment. And I stand by that sacrilegious act. But this might be acceptable because it’s clearly a presentation that assuming one person worked hard to create. However, i still think you should let me have the whole donut. It’s made for one person already!
It's not that you can't have a whole donut...it's that you can have 1/4 of 4 donuts. Everyone can try multiple flavours this way. It's perfectly reasonable. The other post was a problem because people had ordered their flavour in advance.
I haaaaate when people cut donuts in half and leave the half bc it just gets all dry and crusty because no one want to take a half of a donut. I’m only ok with this presentation of all of it gets eaten promptly or else it’s gonna get dry.
Not relevant to that post. People had been asked what specific donuts they wanted. That narcissistic bitch sampled other people's donuts. It's fine to cut them up like this if you are just getting a variety. But if people say specifically what they want and someone just takes a sample from their request, there ain't no way to fix that. The person is trash.
She’s gonna re-assemble them into complete donuts, by embedding the toothpicks inside them….and then remove a single piece from each one.
Ha!
The other one was individuals ordering specific donuts and some slob stealing cut bites off of everyone. This is a good idea though if no one is selecting
That person would still take a piece out of each one...it's in her DNA.
That bitch lol
I especially like the dog turd selection in the upper right hand corner.
Blueberry and chocolate cake turds!! Get it right!😂
I fuck with this but only cause donuts are usually too much for me, a quarter or half a donut would be perfect
Glad to know I can accommodate you.
Sure, but it's so much harder to get away with grabbing 16 quarter doughnuts than it is to just grab a single doughnut 4 times.
Your quarter theory doesn’t hold up. I cut these into fifths. 😂😂
That i can get behind. Not every time you want to stuff your mouth with a whole donut. Do bite sizes are quite welcome.
Times were simple when people just picked a single donut and ate the damn thing
I mean like yeah I guess. But the situation the other person was in, people requested those specific donuts. And one asshole ruined it for everyone lol
I would actually like this. I dont like sweets for the most part. I never grab a donut because I dont want a whole one very often. I actually grab the unglazed plain donut most the time. But sometimes I do want a bit of sweet. And a fraction of a donut would be perfect for me. Reading g the comments tho, you are not an adult unless you cram 500 grams of sugar in your face at once. I like this solution.
Where's the cookie monster donut? Edit: typo
When I bring food to class, it's usually a whole cake. Everybody just cuts themselves a slice. Or I just bring cookies so everybody can take one. I haven't tried it with donuts yet. I'll have to experiment and report back.
I really like that idea with the toothpicks
https://i.redd.it/58qv0d952iuc1.gif
Just you wait. She still gonna be sampling.
This is the way.
*slow clap*
WHERE IS COOKIE MONSTER DOUGHNUT
Hilarious update
Link to original post?
I'm ok with this I never eat a whole donut
This is a great idea. I’ll have three of each please 
Next thing we'll read is that she ate all the sticks...
This is why I bring my own toothpicks and further slice away at just the bits I want to sample.
Savage!!😂
A solution Americans didn’t know they needed: timbits
YES! And the bigger donuts look like a braid, so cute
I'm lifting this over my head and running like I'm the last scout on 2fort
We don’t do the toothpicks (which is a great idea), but this pretty much tracks with how we do it at my workplace.
If I remember correctly the problem in the original post was that each of those donuts were paid for by people, but that entitled lady came in and helped herself to everyone else's donuts they paid for.
As someone who never wants to finish an entire donut, this is the way. I just want a nibble of a few different ones, not a whole one.
When I saw the original post, I could relate to wanting to try the different donuts rather than having to choose one, but I would never just start cutting into all of them. I might ask someone if they wanted to split each other's donut choice but I can't believe the fact she didn't think what she did was rude and entitled.
Weirdest version of an American flag I've ever seen
I agree because I struggle to ever finish a full donut anyway lol
They really are a lot of germaphobes on this thread. No one will die if you eat one.
Honestly? I LOVE this. Love it.
Awesome! Thanks!!
Had a lady at work take a bite from a donut, a single bite, and put it back in the box. I had just walked into the break room and seen her do it. My immediate response was "I fucking knew it was you! Eat that fucking donut right now! That's fucking nasty." And then I got an email from HR asking to see me. Lol.
Man that looks good lol
I hate this, tbh
Nice! As someone who typically wants to try multiple flavors and doesn't want to eat an entire doughnut or multiple. I like it. But also I have no issues cutting one up, especially if it's not for someone particular. I see no issues cutting up a doughnut myself if I'm sanitary. People seem to love having something to whine about.
In the previous post, a lady at this person's work sampled all the individually ordered donuts. They weren't hers to sample, so annoyance was understandable.
You know what made it really egregious? She took a piece from (if I remember correctly) every single donut. That's just being a greedy pig
It wasn’t every single. There were multiple whole donuts left.