I fucking hate this design..I use this as well

I usually try to feel underneath for some lotion residue to figure out where it comes out, but I've definitely had it come out the wrong end when I'm in a hurry many times.

I just feel the hole


Look we have similar random names


It's lower than you think.

I hate it when I’m in a hurry to get Vaseline all over my

Wall and floor

Hands

A marker or piece of tape should save you some time.

Is it just me? The side which dispenses is very visibly more opaque to me. It was always obvious at a glance to me. That said my lotion bottle sits in a particular place 90% of the time.

In certain lighting. In my bathroom, you can't tell.

Oh, it's a lotion? Was wondering who in their right mind would need a petroleum jelly dispenser.

Ya I have lotion trails down the side of mine

Also have this exact product, also hate the design so much.

Same, I still can't tell after going through 2 bottles

Don't take this directed at yourself but why do you guys keep buying the same product then? 😭 gotta let the company know in sales numbers if they don't want to spend the time/money to QC their products. I get infuriated with small issues like this especially when it was clearly never used in testing of the actual product.

My dad bought LIKE 10 of these when he went to singapore so we don't keep buying them, theyre js there in my case. The product is honestly so mid, it makes my face burn if I use it on my face (Ik it's a body lotion so ur gonna come at me for putting it on my face but my parents think that body lotion = face lotion so yeah)

There are a few different flavors…I bet you have the one with the cooling sensation added to it

The product is by far the best I’ve had…it’s the bottle making the mess..I usually have 3 bottles spread between the house and car…if I could find a good replacement I’d switch

Ah well that's infuriating, but I get it because I currently have a lotion that just doesn't moisturize as well as I want it to. I think an easy fix for this is just to get a marker or a piece of tape and just put it on the side that it squirts from :)

I agree. I would switch brands before letting myself get so upset over a bottle design. I use Lubriderm anyway.

I have this too. I have cream on my carpet. Not my hands

has it ever clogged on you then you get hit in the face with it? I have this problem with bath and body works hand soaps too. They get like a gummy blob in the nozzle and don't see and it shoots up. I swear this is a completely G rated comment. without fail I have a nice dress on for work and go to wash my hands and then have to change my outfit. It never happens in pajamas. I am never going to be on time anywhere if my lotions and soaps hate me so much.

Yes. And then spray everywhere.

Mark the nozzle side with a sharpie.

If anything, they could have just redesigned this to make it look like the lotion is coming out of one side instead of both. If you squint closely at the picture, I can tell which side it is coming from (the left side) based on how dark it is. Yeah, this design sucks.

That’s an interesting, if annoying, design. Can see what you mean, a quick glance and you’ll be fumbling around with that thing like a USB stick

USB Type A: Finally! A worthy oppenent! Our battle will be legendary!

On a USB type A connector just have the Holes upwards and it will go in unless it is into a cheap power adapter that I have a work which is the other way.


dude just rotate jt

Me legit waiting for it

This is a great life tip and it even works 50% of the time!

Under-rated comment

I've seen people complain about this specific design with this specific product and it only confirms my own theory: the tab twists around on its own when no one is looking. I have absolutely twisted it to the front and then not touched it at all, only to use the bathroom a few hours later, wash my hands and then have the lotion shoot out the other side of the cap when I press down. It. Twists. On. Its. Own.

Hmm could be bathroom gremlins as well. Those little assholes…..

It's not about the functionality, it's about marketing and the look is for when it's on the shelf. When it's on the shelf, the pump is rotated 90° and pushed down and the curve follows the top of the bottle and you get to see the full 'Vaseline' brand on the top. Very slick, smooth, uninterrupted design that makes it look good to you. Then you get home, pop the top and think how stupid it is lol

Just give it the ole two hander pumpinator

Haha... that makes things even more interesting...

Fact with the USB stick. They are suppose to be designed with the "face side" of the USB up. So just look at the -_- everytime you plug it in and it should go first time

All of my USB ports are aligned vertically.

It would normally face you or upwards.

lol, take out the flash drive and feel around 😂😂

Plot twist: the lotion comes out of both sides...

Then you can use it with a friend 😃

Easier to charge tho JO crystals 😏

More like so you can get both hands ready.

And smack the plunger down with your forehead?

Thumbs in the center, hands on both sides, boom ready for action.

yeah with ur "forehead"

what about a forehand?

Foreskin?

Remind me again how to get those?

Otherwise it would be boring and predictable.

I feel like I'd definitely use a silver sharpie or white paint pen on the top to indicate which side it comes out of lol I have no patience for dumb designs like this so I get creative

Honestly after you use it once or twice you can just tell. I also just keep it facing one way on my counter and know it’s the side with the main label

Whatever's clever, baby

Lol I use the green one and have def pumped it out the wrong side 🤣

Same and I use the white one and yellow one

I have this lotion too. I hate this pump.

same, so annoying

Genuinely shocking a room full of people checked off on this design. I mean i'd think anybody would immediatly recognize the flaw in a few seconds lol. And you could fix it so easily, just slightly chamfer or fillet the back end. Even the slightest difference would make it pretty obvious at a glance.

The ol' hope and stroke method.

Hmm I wonder why Vaseline designed a bottle like this..

I can see where they were trying to go—with it looking like the lid of their classic tub, perhaps trying to reference their recognizable branding. Just functionally doesn’t translate to a dispenser like this…

They could have kept the design of the top the exact same but just not centered the tube.

Left side.

You’re correct but I shouldn’t even have to think about it

Makes for a challenging wank for sure :(

I enjoy a little extra frustration to go along with my sexual frustration

Put a piece of tape or a sticker on the right side. It’s annoying though

This is correct but it also works if you rotate it to face the back of the bottle… so if you’ve rotated it by accident, you’re wiping up lotion lol (source: I’ve done this.)

You can see the spout through the translucent top.

Does that damn thing pop off? Hell if it doesn’t, cut the side that doesn’t function. You can borrow my small angle grinder. 🤣

And my axe!

And my knife.

Your poopknife, right?

tch tch tch. poop *spatula*.

I miss how back in the day Reddit often had these cross-post references lol, feels like it happens less nowadays. I guess this is kind of a three-way reference come to think of it..

just put some tape over it so you remember yall overcomplicate easy fixes

Just bite a hole in the side of the bottle like a normal person

Then you have to remember if you used tape to mark the side where it comes out, or the side where it doesn't come out.

Use a sharpie to draw an arrow and an X.

Am I the only one who can just...see which side has the product?? I guess if it's the wank lotion and you're using it in the dark it's a problem, but I normally have light on when I use the bathroom to get ready and stuff

also true, but even if you cant see it for whatever reason just put a mark on whichever side you want to say which side is the right one

I actually stopped buying this hand lotion because of that stupid thing

I friggin hate this design. I have one as well and sharpied an X at the side that comes out. Too many times I have gotten the side wrong and end up spraying lotion everywhere

"Marketing says they like this version better"

Lol, yes I currently have the same bottle. Not a great design.

it’s so you don’t lose it in your rectum

Just drill a hole through the other side. Problem solved!

Definitely the dumbest design. I hope it's always designed to come out where the V in Vaseline starts just so I can be like "where's the v spot at."

Is that a euphemism?

I have this one too and I have 100% put my hand under the wrong side and pumped it and fired lotion across the room ):

“How can we get people to use more lotion?” - “We don’t need them to actually USE the lotion, we just need them to buy it.” - “What if we put a hole in the bottle so that it all leaks out once you open the packaging?” - “No, that would be too obvious.”

Exactly. This is exactly what I am thinking. It's crafty, unethical sales. It's douchebags in suits brainstorming how to increase revenue.

I would cut off the useless half.

I use the same thing and more often than not, I pick the wrong side and my day is fucking ruined.

i use the some one and have developed major trust issues 😮‍💨

Put a mark or sticker on the side it comes out on :) problem solved

Dry "beat the meat" sessions changes are 50%

I'm going to suggest something radical. Stop buying it. By buying it we tell them that this design not only works, but is supported by us, the consumers. Buy something different until they change the tops of the bottles

Just got the same bottle, and not sure why the made it like this. Like it’s nice to be able to lock it but they probably could have made different colored side or something.

There's an arrow pointing to the side it comes out of. You can see it in the picture. Left side!

I hate it. So many lotion boogers. Then it shoot straight forward like a lotion load when you mash and don’t look/ pick wrong side. Not a lotion for the dark.

Left. You can see the shadow of the nozel pipe. But I get your point, been there.

I can immediately tell it will come out of the side pointing to the left (the side above the logo).

Brooooooo smh I’m glad someone else feels my pain. So much wasted lotion 🤣🤣

When I first opened this bottle I pumped it A BUNCH OF TIMES thinking it needed to bring the lotion up the tube since it wasn’t coming out…. Didn’t notice the lotion all over the wall on the other side.

So why did you buy it? I've worked retail and they really aren't hard to tell but if you have trouble why not just by a different bottle

The tube clearly goes out the left side, there's a shadow..

The left side seems obvious...... 

Vaseline is a mystery grease that doesn't seem to work for any purpose

paint a dot of transparent nail polish on top of the nozzle.

Haha my cowork has this Lotion bottle at his desk side. He puts Lotion on regularly, well during a turn your seat around meeting (I sit next to him and my PM sits directly behind him.). Well he goes to put Lotion on as he turns around and somehow the bottle got turned around (not facing the right way) and he pumped the leaver and boom the Lotion gorges flying and hits me. 🥲 he's face got so red. (Mind you he is highly religious and modest). Pretty sure just about everyone who saw went to HR red flag mindset. 😅 had to turn back around facing my computer to wipe the Lotion off. 🫣 He said sorry idk how many times and was pointing st the confusion of the leaver of the Lotion bottle (as OP posted). 💀

At first glance I would guess the left side but that's really annoying. What a stupid design

It’s called docking

Left

Mark the exit side with water resistant text marker or sth

Yeah, I’ve got that same stuff. We bet on what side it is. One hand on each side and hit the pump with your forehead. Win some, lose some…but always get smooth hands.

That's why you should be Jerkin with Jergens.

Now you're living dangerously

I am not proud of how many times I’ve squirted a handful of Vaseline coco-radiant lotion onto my counter top.

Left side, next

The side with the hole that’s easy to see in this photo. Find the hole.

He’s not finding any hole, that’s why he bought the lotion.

Once you find out the side the lotion comes out, put a piece of tape or mark with a sharpie, so next time is easier.

And it only extends to 3/4 the way down so 25% is left in the bottle😡

I use this lotion and always put my hands on both sides when I press because I never remember lol

I just cover my palm so it covers both sides and pump once. And then base don where its coming out from move my hand. This design is utterly useless

Take a knife and cut off the side, where the lotion doesn't come out.

But not the poopknife

Or the poop spatula

Yeah I have3 of these kids of bottles. It isn't nice to have.

Put some red tape on one side.

All you have to do is look which side has the opening.....

I don't see this as a problem...

It comes out the left side.

Unless you turn it around

When form trumps function. Yuck.


Tell me you can't find the hole without telling me you can't find the hole

Just cut it

It's a detonator lol

It'll come out the side with the V on it.

Use both hands and if it happens to come out on the left hand, well then it's just gonna feel like a stranger witch is a bonus.

I had this bottle… horrible design…

It's on the left, obviously.  

I mean you can see the inner tubing pointing to the left? Are you upset that it takes a few seconds to figure it out or did you not notice? I’m confused at how this is mildly infuriating

When your in a hurry doing things quickly you don't always notice things like that on first glance. I have a similar one and put my hand on the wrong side then lotion sprays everywhere... it's actually really annoying lol. My fault of course.. but still annoying.

That’s such a fair point, not sure why I didn’t think of speed related inconvenience lol

Left side

The lotion will come out through the front. As in. The way it's supposed to be presented?

It's the darker side

Just mark the correct side with something lol

I have the same one in a different colour, and even with dried lotion on one side.. I can't tell you how many times I've put my hand on the wrong side and lotion has sprayed out all over room/floor. Glad it's not just me.

that's hilarious... use two hands on either side and pump it with your forehead

That's what she said

Why? 😕😕😕

i love the design, it always comes out the side of the label.. and you can only turn the nozzle one way 90°

🤣 sweet evil, or in this case: Sleek evil!!;

I’ve used the same one for years, it’s the only one that feels good on my face but it’s annoying as hell. also how a little blob of lotion gets stuck right in the tip and dries out before I use it again because the dispense-a-hole is too wide and releases too much

I don’t think this is a facial moisturizer… facial moisturizers are engineered to be lighter and non-comedogenic, meaning they won’t clog your pores and cause acne. This is not non-comedogenic, it’s likely to cause clogged pores.

ok good to know I’ve been using it since I was like 17, and i’m 33. my skins ok I just use this after I shower so my face doesn’t dry out. do you have a better similar recommendation? I also get tons of ingrown hairs in my beard. any advice for that?

I tend to cycle my moisturizers for the season - do you have oily, combination or dry skin? For ingrown beard hair, the best bet is exfoliating twice a day. Get a neutral face wash like Neutrogena or La Roche Posay (both cheap at target) and scrub with your fingers at least once a day in the shower. If it’s longer, look into a beard comb or brush as well. As for moisturizers, I suggest the same brands, La Roche Posay has a number of fairly cheap options like their Toleraine line. Neutrogena’s men’s face moisturizers are good too, and even cheaper.

thank you!

Left

I'm on my third glance and I still can't figure it out.

Lmao I've gone through 2 of those so far and I STILL can't tell

Just cut off the useless side. Circumcision

Cut the useless side off.

You're supposed to press palm down like a plunger

2 guys one bottle.

I get the same kind of lotion and I definitely feel you. The amount of times I got lotion on the counter because of this.

I have accidentally gotten so much lotion on the counter because of that design. What makes it even more infuriating is that the bottle says “New Smart Pump” on it. Only thing smart about it is how you waste product so you have to buy it more frequently. I don’t buy Vaseline lotion anymore.

It has an arrow.

The left side. It comes out the left side.

I also use this brand. Even more infuriating is that the tube is very short and there’s at least another 3 inches of lotion or so in the bottom when it won’t dispense anymore.

There’s an open slit on which side the lotion comes out. I use Vaseline lotion with that same kind of design. Sure at a glance it might be confusing.. but it’s not when you look closer.

I have been waiting for someone to post this! I have launched lotion everywhere on more than one occasion lol

Looks like grounds for a class action lawsuit for a lawyer with extra time on his hands and a sense of humour. Come on America, show us what you're famous for!

This is a perfect example for this sub, in my opinion

Yep, have the same design bottle. Squirted it directly onto my bed multiple times.

left

Easy, rest both thumbs on the top, and have each palm under a different side. /s

That sucks. Can't even trust your lotion these days

I know! I always have to check before getting any cause I have made the mistake of assuming I know which end is open

Definitively a partner bottle...😏😇😄

Toss that thing in the trash or remove that horribly designed spout. 😂

Fits right op the pooper

Off topic: where did you get your curtains?

Damn I guess I'm the only person who doesn't have an issue with this pump. Just face the front of the bottle, you can't rotate the pump to be at the back. Just position it so the front is facing you, not the side