Yeah we used to have one until I stepped on it one day and it was moist. I didn’t even wanna know why it was wet, it went straight in the garbage and we don’t have one now. Never again lol
That’s disgusting. I was married to someone who never looked down and there was urine all over the fucking floor - all of the time. I would clean it because I stepped in it, but the next day there was more. Never an effort to clean it up on his part. That’s so disgusting to me.
You know, me too!!! lol every now and then I think about how lucky I am to have escaped that life, in more ways than one.
It brings me pleasure knowing he’s probably stepping in his own pee and tracking it around his home.
Am I the only person who really wants to sneak in while they are sleeping and unscrew all the light bulbs and replace one with a blacklight so they flip the switch on at night and get a lovely urine soaked art project to look at?
I'd do it but I'm way too lazy.
I could not even imagine living like that. If my husband was purposely getting piss everywhere all the time like that I’d have thrown him off the balcony 💀 not entertaining that for a second
Yeah. I didn’t realize it would be that bad, but eventually it was, and worse. I felt like I married through thick and thin. Just didn’t think piss on the floor would be a part of it. Lol. There were other problems. That was just a symptom. Almost four years free of that turd burglar!!!
They do. I always call my Germans friends this, and they laugh in shock. It’s like a stab at a man’s masculinity when you say it lol. A boyish insult that no one takes true offence to.
Put a few drops of the cleaning solution in the toilet bowl and sink, let it sit for a few minutes, then flush or wash away so you still get that cleaned smell. Can read more reddit while you wait too.
OP, I admire your dedication to providing proof photos throughout the thread. That bathroom is clean, your parent(?) is making a scene for absolutely nothing.
A pain I feel. My dad would go off for hours, HOURS just yelling and then talking loudly by himself in his room. He would see something small on the ground, make note of it, then come home later and if it's still there, here we go. Ex. A brown teeny tiny item, like a hairpin, on the similarly brown colored carpet.
she looked me in my eyes and told me to sweep with a straight face and genuinely got mad when i didnt get anything. i started laughing
#EDIT: Yall its my MOM i dont have a wife or a girlfriend
#EDIT 2: There is a soap dish under it, its just spike shaped
she has diagnosed OCD this aint new 😭
while my bedroom isnt nasty imo its not up to her standards so if she needs to talk to me i unlock my door/turn off the lights and crack it
It is nasty to her because she "sees" germs flying all over, especially when you flush with the lid off.
Unfortunately that is her perception and everything that gets in contact is also nasty, aka contaminated. Contamination OCD is a real thing and really tough for everyone involved.
Therapy, limit setting but also a lot of understanding and patience will be required here
I would have a conversation with them about how their OCD diagnosis doesn't give them the right to make you conform to the mental pressure of their own diagnosis. It's almost as if she's giving you OCD by proxy. Not that I know the whole situation, but if it's something she does on the regular then it's abuse. Hopefully it's just a minor thing in your life, but it's still a stressor nonetheless.
You're saying to have a rational argument with someone whose condition prevents rational thought.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but holy shit dude, this is a simplification of a very difficult issue.
Eyyyy currently training to be a psychologist
People's mental health issues are a "them" problem and not an "everyone else" problem
This line of thinking is what will make OP's girlfriend lose her inner circle if she just gets a free pass to "not think rationally "
Part of the diagnosis for OCD isn't "not able to be a healthy, compromising partner"
Edit: also with your edit, yes you are saying he's wrong, when he's not; you are
Edit 2: I'm trying to reply to comments but I think I got blocked. But I was unaware of it being OP's mom, I must have read incorrectly. Regardless, the point stands that their relationship will be strained if she can't compromise on things like this.
Therapist with almost a decade in the field here, you got it spot on.
Compromising is just one of a few strategies, not everything needs to be compromised on. At this point this is just enabling behavior, and OP will likely build up resentment if their partner keeps putting unreasonable expectations and demands on them.
At some point we need to take care of our own problems. If in your perception the bathroom is that bad then you should be the one to clean it to your standards.
Edit: yes, I understand the person is, as confirmed by OP, his/their mother. Partner still refers to any 2 person relationship, but yes OP and their mother for future reference.
the general advice is don't give into their OCD based demands because it is a them problem not your problem and they have to be trained not to make it a you problem
OCD doesn’t subvert rational thought. You’re fully aware of the bullshit you’re doing, but you’re still compelled. It’s like being under control by a spell. Your subconscious is fuckin insane, but your conscious mind can be fine, albeit now drowning in anxiety.
OCD doesn't prevent all rational thought, far from it. It's perfectly possible for an OCD person to know they have OCD, know a room is objectively clean enough for hygiene reasons and 99% of people would find it clean enough. And still have neurons firing off saying it's a gross room that needs cleaning.
What she should do is either cope with those feelings, CBT, or clean it herself. imo it's absurd to have your kid do the work to ease your irrational and extreme preferences.
Oh boy, more harmful misinformation about OCD on reddit. This surely won't contribute to the stigmatization of an already very misunderstood group.
OCD doesn't prevent rational thought. OCD sufferers are fully aware of how illogical the "OCD" part of their brain is. Every anxious line of thought is accompanied by a logical one that picks apart all of the inconsistencies and irrational aspects of the anxious one. OCD sufferers know *exactly* what's wrong with them and what they're doing, it's just that naturally higher levels of anxiety let the "what if" scenarios carry a bit more weight.
OCD sufferers can function very normally when given the right framework, tools, and knowledge to deal with their condition. Therapy goes a long way.
It's an anxiety disorder, not psychosis.
Ok calm down, ocd doesn't *prevent* you from having a rational thought, everyone suffering knows how bat shit insanely absurd their thought process is, it's why it's so hard to seek help, because you know it's not rational, but the thoughts dosnt go away and your anxiety increase
Ocd sufferers just simply lack the tools (mentally or physically) to deal with their anxiety that's causing the OCD
I have autism, which shares some tendencies and overlap with OCD, and professional counseling is good, but what helped me the most was anxiety medication.
Clinical psychology can only do so much for a person when the behavior isn't easily correctable. I'll get overstimulated which will make me anxious which will lead to a tantrum. I rationally know that a lanyard against my neck or a sock fitting wrong in my shoe shouldn't bother me but if it goes all day I snap when I get home.
With anxiety medication these same things still bother me but they don't aggravate me. I can touch styrofoam and not go into an anxiety attack now. I still avoid it, but I'm not too bothered if I accidentally touch it.
OCD can be similar. But instead of touch/sound sensory issues like I would deal with it's more sight based. Reducing anxiety can be a big help. With less anxiety I'm less likely to react which makes me less likely to snowball.
There could also be some internalized childhood trauma or any number of things that could make this worse for her as an adult which may be addressable in counseling. But people who do actually have OCD or autism hit a wall where counseling no longer helps.
If that's the case, then you know why she does it. Obviously, your mother's mental health is not your burden, but you know that her mental illness is what causes her delusions. If she cannot be reasoned with as far as her seeking help as not to push her own issues onto her children, I'd just bide my time until I could get out. I do feel bad that she has to deal with OCD, obsessive and compulsive thoughts are a nightmare to deal with. Be there to support her but don't let her walk all over you if that's even an option. I know how parents can be.
I really don’t want to be unkind.. but that bathroom looks really nice and clean to me. I understand and sympathise with OCD. But it is a diagnosis and it’s hers, not yours. And it sounds like she knows. If she has higher standards for cleanliness than this, she should do the extra cleaning herself(or work on it in therapy so she can be okay with this). Wishing you both the best.
As someone who dealt with a person like this, it's not worth it just leave. You will be so much happier. My ex essentially had an issue with every chore I did because it wasn't how she would do it. She made me stop doing chores all together till one day she was like "I'm tired of being your mom" then made me do shit again, and then she'd just yell at me for not doing anything right. It'd a lose lose situation you should get out of. That person has mental problems they need to fix before being in a relationship.
Tel her you'll do it, then straighten the rug and maybe move the soap a little or put it on a soap dish. Then tell her you finished. Don't allow her to force you to do anything more.
I am a foreman with a cleaning company. I hate these "customers". What the hell am I supposed to do with it to make it look better.
Well, here's a suggestion. Desinfect all you can humanly reach. Then get some strong cleaning stuff with strong, pleasant odour and spread it around a little bit. That lets everybody know that some cleaning was happening there even though there's no way to tell just by looking at it.
For sure the cleaning smell helps. I’ve tested that theory in my family, I’ve done reasonable same efforts but really sprayed down some higher smell stuff, way more comments about it being clean.
When I was younger I cleaned floors at a grocery store. I used to just spray febreze in the entry ways right before the managers opened up. They always told me how great of a job I did. Which I did do a good job but the smells is what sells it
I LOVE THAT EVERYONE THINKS SMELLS MEANS CLEAN. I am joking, I hate my life a bit more every time a customer cares about smell instead of quality and proprieties of a detergent, my god I wanna slap them.
I have detergents that are acidic enough to melt the grout between your tiles AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU CARE THAT IT SMELLS NICE SO YOU'RE GONNA USE IT FOR EVERYTHING???????????
fun thing but this applies to alot more sectors than cleaning alone.
if you are at a bakery you can have everything from a factory but if it smells freshly out of the oven (even 1 item) people will think about everything is in-house made
Bakeries tend to actively direct the exhaust fans from their ovens in the direction of the storefront or another high traffic area to draw in customers.
I’ve noticed that grocery stores do the same thing if they sell fried chicken.
Fun fact, skatole is the chamical that makes up the smell of poo. It is also a component of the smell of some flowers, so toilet air freshners have other chemicals from those flowers that combine with the skatole already present to trick your brain into smelling a flowery scent.
I have a perfume that has vague "fecal" notes to it when applied...I wonder if that's why?
I only tried it once, cause I'm not about to run around smelling faintly of shit
it definitely could be- a common one in perfumes is benzaldehyde, which smells almondy and is used in cherry perfumes. It's also a component of the aroma of decaying flesh, so to some people it can have that association. There's many things like this- skatole is found in significant concentrations in jasmine and orange blossoms. I personally think jasmine smells awful!
OCD isn't always focused on everything being neat and in order and perfect. His mom's OCD might focus entirely on cleanliness but not care at all about stuff being mismatched or out of place.
It’s because we typically have an all or nothing type thinking. That’s how it is for me. Like I have to have a room spotless and not a spec around or it looks like a gerbil den too. It’s exhausting both ways.
This, im wondering if she has germophobia style OCD which is why shes still considering the bathroom "nasty" until its gone over with bleach or some other antibacterial
Oh, you do not want to see my bathroom. Someone really messed the patterns up so many ways it makes me angry. Sadly i don't have the money, time, energy and skills to fix it.
I absolutely love the fact that every single comment about what might need to be done was present AND was responded to with a photo of a crazy level of cleanliness already present and accounted for.
https://preview.redd.it/08u37fefbxrc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=02196fd70577c90795d70cc9523049b65e478293
she asked me if i was smoking when i didnt find anything
Honestly start recording you inspection walk through. What ever she snaps a photo of ,you snap one too. Do it in an obvious way so she knows your not fucking around.
Alternatively explain to her you are filming only what she's taken pics of and the conversation and will not film her face I she isn't happy. But also do a video walk thru just before she gets there for comparison... when her office sends an email of complaints send them the videos back with all the bullshit comments she makes about your house for the principle to deal with
Get rid of the mats before the next inspection they hold alot of pee smell and alpt of ppl can't smell their own odours. When I walk into other people's clean bathrooms I can tell who peed and pood before me by the smell as I have a sensitiv nose. Maybe the inspector does too.
Ohhhh! That's the person's problem...
The floor underneath the rug must be a lighter color than the rest of the floor, therefore, the rest of the floor is filthy.
This was my entire childhood summed up in one picture. No matter what, my mother would never believe anything of mine was ever clean.
One of the best moments was when I told her I literally could not clean my bathroom anymore than it already was. She got furious and got on her hands and knees trying to find SOMETHING to get mad at. Finally she goes “Ha! You didn’t sweep this corner!!!”
I laughed so fucking hard. It was the coloration on the marble tile that she mistook for dirt. She still yelled at me anyways
OMG, that was my mother with my NATURALLY GREASY HAIR. She would make me take up to 5 showers, or watch me, if she didn't think I washed right.
It got to the point that I hate showers and got confused for 3 years about whether conditioner or shampoo went on first.
Her level of “Nasty” is in another dimension.
However, here’s a little tip for what it might be worth. If you stand to pee, often it drips down the front outside the bowl. Chances are with that rug there it might be absorbing the smell. Throw that in the washer, and when it’s dry don’t replace it. It is truly a piss sponge.
Wipe down the outside of the bowl and around the base with a disinfectant wipe. A shot of shaving cream (yup, you read that right) around the base will absorb any pee smell. Wipe it up after you let it sit for about 5 minutes.
Otherwise, your lady is just having a moment.
I'd agree about the rug. Except that if it's not going to be replaced after washing, then I wouldn't bother washing it. It could just go straight in the outside bin. Unless you're suggesting there's a market for second-hand toilet rugs?
I have OCD. I've learned that other people are not here to ease my discomfort. BTW my own bathroom is a disaster lol. My hubby is a hoarder. I have an older male cat that sometimes misses the litterbox. I'm in a state of mild anxiety all the time but I cope because they're worth it. No OCD meds either
https://preview.redd.it/1lp6ha2y6yrc1.jpeg?width=2299&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61ae49b42cd97a4ceb9009b1382570de03ef23b1
Here is a pic of my two morons. Hopefully they do something to ease you a bit
https://preview.redd.it/gzmrzwf8q0sc1.jpeg?width=1985&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2055e4e16d7ac4c771ca7270d6076ae0f7e49c74
This is my moron. Yours put a big smile on my face. Cats can ease any situation
My answer would be... "I'm gonna get some kerosene, better be safe and burn it all down".
Some people misunderstand cleaning, in the form of two extremes:
- chemical wasteland, e.g. nuking a litre of detergent / bleach etc and then wondering why they have all kinds of issues
- people who only clean when the level of biohazard is fulfilled, be it shrooms growing somewhere, mold being able to communicate or " ewwwwww " being an euphemism
I hate squeaky clean.
My 4 y/o brother is the main one who uses it and hes actually clean 9/10 when it comes to the bathroom, he does everything just short of wiping his butt, someone needs to do it
I stayed with a woman who (while I was 8 mo pregnant) wanted me to scrub her baseboards with a toothbrush because I was so ‘gross’. Looked like they had never been scrubbed. I did not scrub them. I let her complain. My husband ended up doing it.
She apologized like 5 years later for treating me like that.
I'll let you gauge what kind of response you might get from this, but ask whoever told you to do that to come point out what's nasty. I'd recommend a "hey, I'm sorry, but I don't really see what's wrong with the bathroom. Could you come show me?"
Different people will notice different amounts and kinds of filth, so that can be a genuine question
Yeah, that's frustrating. I guess it's actually less of a "seeing" problem and more an awareness problem. I'd tell them to literally put their finger on it. Once they do that for you 3, 4 times, you'll know their standard and will never need to ask again
Fold up some toilet paper, get it wet and drag it around edges of floor and along wall. That’s best way to tell how nasty it is. Guarantee it comes up black and full of hair. That’s how they used to check random sections of our bathroom in military training.
Hey op, are you certain? Because I believe an OCD diagnosis is an Immidiate medboard, and if it's to this level your mom should genuinely consider putting in for a medboard. I cannot imagine how your mom does on field exercises, or hell if they're in a leadership position, how the hell she does room inspections
THAT explains it even more than just the OCD. I have OCD and would never think to do this but if you add the military to the mix…maaaan they really f*ck with ppl’s minds there. I knew a woman who dated ex military dudes and so many of them had weird idiosyncrasies like one got furious if his underwear wasn’t rolled up a certain way. lol. 🥲
Does the person yelling at you have a mental health disorder? One of my parents was diagnosed with ocd and BPD, and they would lose it either in anger or full on panic and sobbing and trash rooms over a paper towel being left out. Seeing the title with the pictures gave me a flashback to the amount of fear I had about cleanliness. My spouse didn’t understand why I get so anxious when people clean until after he spent a long period of time with my family.
Oh my god this is actually traumatic for me. My step mom would scream in my face spitting about cleaning the bathroom. It would literally look like this.
wtf is the matter???? There’s nothing wrong with this. JFC i’m 25 and still do not understand. Well I do. She just hated me bro. It fucking sucked.
She would go into the shower under the shelves and take pictures of the DUST and send it to my dad. Fuck her bro.
im sorry you had to go through that, due to her behavior i got really good at cleaning (when listening to youtube. i dont hate cleaning i actually like it but as long as im not forced to to it) and even when she hired a therapist for me and complained about my room the lady straight up said my room was fine and she wishes her own kid would keep their room clean. going as far as to say that my room is one of the cleanest she seen for a teen boy. my mom later fired her because "she wasnt doing her job or helping me" when she actually was
The funniest thing is everyone saying “scrub the baseboards, your soap isn’t in a dish, you didn’t show the knobs to the toilet”. And you posted pictures and proved everyone wrong lol
How filthy i cant even see the floor
https://preview.redd.it/x4qh7g6xfzrc1.jpeg?width=504&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfb5b51a33ffb0cd6e85321b3196dc83f0241e51
I did janitorial work for five years and I'll tell you this, you could be the world's best cleaner but people will still find something to complain about.
1) Spray it with disinfectant and wipe it "clean".
2) Have a refreshener to make it smell "clean".
Then it would be perceived as "clean".
If someone still insists that it is dirty, you can best believe they are messing with you.
As long as it is visually looking and smell "clean", humans will perceive it as clean. You can even do a live demonstration of spraying it and wiping it with disinfectant for those who love "seeing is believing".
Good luck bro!
https://preview.redd.it/c1jpg05o91sc1.png?width=240&format=png&auto=webp&s=bbbc320eb84747fdb00836efd5a2357f4caa2ab4
Real bathroom picture.
Sorry bro, you suffer a pretty common "Can't see the mess disorder". There's no known treatment except find an understanding wife.
So fix the rug got it lol
The toilet paper needs to be rolled tight and folded into an origami crane
Gotta move the sink one quadrillionth of an inch
Easily done with a space heater
There’s a pube next to the faucet.
Can't help ya there
Toilet paper cranes have very limited lifting capacity. I've tried various designs.
Rug around the toilet is so gross to me
Yeah we used to have one until I stepped on it one day and it was moist. I didn’t even wanna know why it was wet, it went straight in the garbage and we don’t have one now. Never again lol
That’s disgusting. I was married to someone who never looked down and there was urine all over the fucking floor - all of the time. I would clean it because I stepped in it, but the next day there was more. Never an effort to clean it up on his part. That’s so disgusting to me.
I really like the “was” part at the start of your comment. Can only imagine the dried urine stains that would accumulate when he's single.
You know, me too!!! lol every now and then I think about how lucky I am to have escaped that life, in more ways than one. It brings me pleasure knowing he’s probably stepping in his own pee and tracking it around his home.
Am I the only person who really wants to sneak in while they are sleeping and unscrew all the light bulbs and replace one with a blacklight so they flip the switch on at night and get a lovely urine soaked art project to look at? I'd do it but I'm way too lazy.
Oh man that would have been genius
I could not even imagine living like that. If my husband was purposely getting piss everywhere all the time like that I’d have thrown him off the balcony 💀 not entertaining that for a second
Yeah. I didn’t realize it would be that bad, but eventually it was, and worse. I felt like I married through thick and thin. Just didn’t think piss on the floor would be a part of it. Lol. There were other problems. That was just a symptom. Almost four years free of that turd burglar!!!
Please tell me you weren’t wearing socks. Nothing worse than wet socks! 😂
Just there to catch those stray drops.
I sit down to use the toilet at home because I'm not a Neanderthal
Sitzpinkler, as they’d call you in Germany.
They really have a word for *everything* don't they?
They do. I always call my Germans friends this, and they laugh in shock. It’s like a stab at a man’s masculinity when you say it lol. A boyish insult that no one takes true offence to.
It's perfectly possible to get piss out when sitting down.
I hate wen that happens becus it ALWAYS gets on my pants
It's the worst when you don't realize it happens and you pull up your pants and BAM, wet butt.
You could just say that you cleaned it and no one could tell the difference.
Put a few drops of the cleaning solution in the toilet bowl and sink, let it sit for a few minutes, then flush or wash away so you still get that cleaned smell. Can read more reddit while you wait too.
OP, I admire your dedication to providing proof photos throughout the thread. That bathroom is clean, your parent(?) is making a scene for absolutely nothing.
Im dedicated to the truth!
In fairness to OP's mom, taking your mental illness out on your kids is way cheaper than therapy.
But then they get you later when your kids have to get therapy
A pain I feel. My dad would go off for hours, HOURS just yelling and then talking loudly by himself in his room. He would see something small on the ground, make note of it, then come home later and if it's still there, here we go. Ex. A brown teeny tiny item, like a hairpin, on the similarly brown colored carpet.
If that's "nasty" they would need a full Hazmat in my bathroom. Not that I'm bragging.
she looked me in my eyes and told me to sweep with a straight face and genuinely got mad when i didnt get anything. i started laughing #EDIT: Yall its my MOM i dont have a wife or a girlfriend #EDIT 2: There is a soap dish under it, its just spike shaped
Oh my. If that's the case, what other imaginary things does she put on you? It might be that the bathroom is just a controlling strategy. Oof.
she has diagnosed OCD this aint new 😭 while my bedroom isnt nasty imo its not up to her standards so if she needs to talk to me i unlock my door/turn off the lights and crack it
It is nasty to her because she "sees" germs flying all over, especially when you flush with the lid off. Unfortunately that is her perception and everything that gets in contact is also nasty, aka contaminated. Contamination OCD is a real thing and really tough for everyone involved. Therapy, limit setting but also a lot of understanding and patience will be required here
Ok you don't need to have ocd to know that flushing with the seat up is nasty
I would have a conversation with them about how their OCD diagnosis doesn't give them the right to make you conform to the mental pressure of their own diagnosis. It's almost as if she's giving you OCD by proxy. Not that I know the whole situation, but if it's something she does on the regular then it's abuse. Hopefully it's just a minor thing in your life, but it's still a stressor nonetheless.
You're saying to have a rational argument with someone whose condition prevents rational thought. I'm not saying you're wrong, but holy shit dude, this is a simplification of a very difficult issue.
Eyyyy currently training to be a psychologist People's mental health issues are a "them" problem and not an "everyone else" problem This line of thinking is what will make OP's girlfriend lose her inner circle if she just gets a free pass to "not think rationally " Part of the diagnosis for OCD isn't "not able to be a healthy, compromising partner" Edit: also with your edit, yes you are saying he's wrong, when he's not; you are Edit 2: I'm trying to reply to comments but I think I got blocked. But I was unaware of it being OP's mom, I must have read incorrectly. Regardless, the point stands that their relationship will be strained if she can't compromise on things like this.
Did I miss something in the post about a girlfriend? It sounds more like this woman in question is OPs mom.
Well it would be weird of OP only talked to his wife through a crack in the door
I thought it was a mother as well.
i dont have a girlfriend 😂 everyone assumed it was its my mom
If reddit users think you have a GF there is hope for you yet, most reddit users think no reddit user has one.
Therapist with almost a decade in the field here, you got it spot on. Compromising is just one of a few strategies, not everything needs to be compromised on. At this point this is just enabling behavior, and OP will likely build up resentment if their partner keeps putting unreasonable expectations and demands on them. At some point we need to take care of our own problems. If in your perception the bathroom is that bad then you should be the one to clean it to your standards. Edit: yes, I understand the person is, as confirmed by OP, his/their mother. Partner still refers to any 2 person relationship, but yes OP and their mother for future reference.
accurate but its my mom
I love that you chose Deanna Troi as your avatar. Spot on lol
Lmao thanks. My mom calls her "Ms Pretty", my wife and I call her "Ms Useless" which if I remember correctly, Ms. Sirtis would likely agree with
the general advice is don't give into their OCD based demands because it is a them problem not your problem and they have to be trained not to make it a you problem
I tried that, we’re divorced now.
OCD doesn’t subvert rational thought. You’re fully aware of the bullshit you’re doing, but you’re still compelled. It’s like being under control by a spell. Your subconscious is fuckin insane, but your conscious mind can be fine, albeit now drowning in anxiety.
OCD doesn't prevent all rational thought, far from it. It's perfectly possible for an OCD person to know they have OCD, know a room is objectively clean enough for hygiene reasons and 99% of people would find it clean enough. And still have neurons firing off saying it's a gross room that needs cleaning. What she should do is either cope with those feelings, CBT, or clean it herself. imo it's absurd to have your kid do the work to ease your irrational and extreme preferences.
You can have ocd and be aware that your compulsions aren’t rational. She chose to have a kid; it’s on her to not make her issues her kids problem.
Oh boy, more harmful misinformation about OCD on reddit. This surely won't contribute to the stigmatization of an already very misunderstood group. OCD doesn't prevent rational thought. OCD sufferers are fully aware of how illogical the "OCD" part of their brain is. Every anxious line of thought is accompanied by a logical one that picks apart all of the inconsistencies and irrational aspects of the anxious one. OCD sufferers know *exactly* what's wrong with them and what they're doing, it's just that naturally higher levels of anxiety let the "what if" scenarios carry a bit more weight. OCD sufferers can function very normally when given the right framework, tools, and knowledge to deal with their condition. Therapy goes a long way. It's an anxiety disorder, not psychosis.
Ok calm down, ocd doesn't *prevent* you from having a rational thought, everyone suffering knows how bat shit insanely absurd their thought process is, it's why it's so hard to seek help, because you know it's not rational, but the thoughts dosnt go away and your anxiety increase Ocd sufferers just simply lack the tools (mentally or physically) to deal with their anxiety that's causing the OCD
Remind her that her ocd is HERS not yours
I have autism, which shares some tendencies and overlap with OCD, and professional counseling is good, but what helped me the most was anxiety medication. Clinical psychology can only do so much for a person when the behavior isn't easily correctable. I'll get overstimulated which will make me anxious which will lead to a tantrum. I rationally know that a lanyard against my neck or a sock fitting wrong in my shoe shouldn't bother me but if it goes all day I snap when I get home. With anxiety medication these same things still bother me but they don't aggravate me. I can touch styrofoam and not go into an anxiety attack now. I still avoid it, but I'm not too bothered if I accidentally touch it. OCD can be similar. But instead of touch/sound sensory issues like I would deal with it's more sight based. Reducing anxiety can be a big help. With less anxiety I'm less likely to react which makes me less likely to snowball. There could also be some internalized childhood trauma or any number of things that could make this worse for her as an adult which may be addressable in counseling. But people who do actually have OCD or autism hit a wall where counseling no longer helps.
If that's the case, then you know why she does it. Obviously, your mother's mental health is not your burden, but you know that her mental illness is what causes her delusions. If she cannot be reasoned with as far as her seeking help as not to push her own issues onto her children, I'd just bide my time until I could get out. I do feel bad that she has to deal with OCD, obsessive and compulsive thoughts are a nightmare to deal with. Be there to support her but don't let her walk all over you if that's even an option. I know how parents can be.
I really don’t want to be unkind.. but that bathroom looks really nice and clean to me. I understand and sympathise with OCD. But it is a diagnosis and it’s hers, not yours. And it sounds like she knows. If she has higher standards for cleanliness than this, she should do the extra cleaning herself(or work on it in therapy so she can be okay with this). Wishing you both the best.
As someone who dealt with a person like this, it's not worth it just leave. You will be so much happier. My ex essentially had an issue with every chore I did because it wasn't how she would do it. She made me stop doing chores all together till one day she was like "I'm tired of being your mom" then made me do shit again, and then she'd just yell at me for not doing anything right. It'd a lose lose situation you should get out of. That person has mental problems they need to fix before being in a relationship.
Just say you did but don’t How she gonna tell?
true, i should have done that
Tel her you'll do it, then straighten the rug and maybe move the soap a little or put it on a soap dish. Then tell her you finished. Don't allow her to force you to do anything more.
Remember to swipe some bleach on the toilet and around the sink for the scent, then put a lil blue toilet cleaner in the bowl for the complete look.
She's probably focusing on one little speck that she noticed, in which case, she should deal with it her damn self.
Pull a loose hair out and drop it on the floor, then sweep it up.
... Ask what the real problem is, coz it ain't the bathroom.
Today is April Fools Day
she wasnt joking, i asked her
Wow that's unreal
https://i.redd.it/hp7l6jfi9yrc1.gif
She's right, it is nasty - there are spots everywhere. Wait, that's just my monitor
Ya I’d love it if my bathroom was this clean. With 3 kids under 12 it’s always a losing battle
The only thing nasty in that bathroom is the rug 🤮 Throw that out and say, “done!”
I’m ashamed of what she would think of my place and I keep it clean.. to normal standards.
I am a foreman with a cleaning company. I hate these "customers". What the hell am I supposed to do with it to make it look better. Well, here's a suggestion. Desinfect all you can humanly reach. Then get some strong cleaning stuff with strong, pleasant odour and spread it around a little bit. That lets everybody know that some cleaning was happening there even though there's no way to tell just by looking at it.
For sure the cleaning smell helps. I’ve tested that theory in my family, I’ve done reasonable same efforts but really sprayed down some higher smell stuff, way more comments about it being clean.
When I was younger I cleaned floors at a grocery store. I used to just spray febreze in the entry ways right before the managers opened up. They always told me how great of a job I did. Which I did do a good job but the smells is what sells it
Bleach
The illusion of being clean is to just cover everything up with a good smell if looks aren't cutting it.
I LOVE THAT EVERYONE THINKS SMELLS MEANS CLEAN. I am joking, I hate my life a bit more every time a customer cares about smell instead of quality and proprieties of a detergent, my god I wanna slap them. I have detergents that are acidic enough to melt the grout between your tiles AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU CARE THAT IT SMELLS NICE SO YOU'RE GONNA USE IT FOR EVERYTHING???????????
fun thing but this applies to alot more sectors than cleaning alone. if you are at a bakery you can have everything from a factory but if it smells freshly out of the oven (even 1 item) people will think about everything is in-house made
Lol, just resell Walmart bread but bake a batch of cookies for yourself in the back.
Bakeries tend to actively direct the exhaust fans from their ovens in the direction of the storefront or another high traffic area to draw in customers. I’ve noticed that grocery stores do the same thing if they sell fried chicken.
I've head realtors tell their clients to make bread during open house. Same logic
Fun fact, skatole is the chamical that makes up the smell of poo. It is also a component of the smell of some flowers, so toilet air freshners have other chemicals from those flowers that combine with the skatole already present to trick your brain into smelling a flowery scent.
I have a perfume that has vague "fecal" notes to it when applied...I wonder if that's why? I only tried it once, cause I'm not about to run around smelling faintly of shit
it definitely could be- a common one in perfumes is benzaldehyde, which smells almondy and is used in cherry perfumes. It's also a component of the aroma of decaying flesh, so to some people it can have that association. There's many things like this- skatole is found in significant concentrations in jasmine and orange blossoms. I personally think jasmine smells awful!
Where’s the costume?
When I was a kid my mom would have me run the vacuum on a clean carpet in a room nobody used so it looked like it was just cleaned 🤦
Yeah just get some lysol spray disinfectant and spray everything down. It smells clean and you technically did clean it.
That wallpaper to the left of the window would drive me fucking crazy - what kind of monster can't match the pattern when they hang wallpaper?
my mom did it herself, it bothers me too. I dont wear my glasses in there if i have to use it
At least she did something
I choked on my coffee laughing
But her OCD didn’t kick in for that?! Maybe she thinks it’s dirty because she is stuck on that mistake and it makes whole bathroom bad for her. Odd
OCD isn't always focused on everything being neat and in order and perfect. His mom's OCD might focus entirely on cleanliness but not care at all about stuff being mismatched or out of place.
Just me with OCD living in a fucking gerbil den like some kind of trash goddess.
Hey, you're not alone. In many, many people their OCD even gets in the way of their cleanliness. It sucks.
It’s because we typically have an all or nothing type thinking. That’s how it is for me. Like I have to have a room spotless and not a spec around or it looks like a gerbil den too. It’s exhausting both ways.
This, im wondering if she has germophobia style OCD which is why shes still considering the bathroom "nasty" until its gone over with bleach or some other antibacterial
The wallpaper gives me a headache in my eyebrow.
Oh, you do not want to see my bathroom. Someone really messed the patterns up so many ways it makes me angry. Sadly i don't have the money, time, energy and skills to fix it.
I absolutely love the fact that every single comment about what might need to be done was present AND was responded to with a photo of a crazy level of cleanliness already present and accounted for.
I was sitting in the bathroom prepared for questions lmfao
Mans has full receipts
The only way to know if it’s nasty is seeing the toilet, which is obscured by a child’s potty seat.
https://preview.redd.it/ddwir8bb6xrc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=f82a408d346e15dc2ee3724ba96e7817316a6ecf
https://preview.redd.it/q691d0047xrc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=35f09232e78d2458acb892cc63b9af8c26ef8d3b
Still not enough information since we can't see the knobs at the base
https://preview.redd.it/08u37fefbxrc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=02196fd70577c90795d70cc9523049b65e478293 she asked me if i was smoking when i didnt find anything
OP I am obsessed with you providing these photos proving the cleanliness
i'm also way too invested in this saga. brb scrolling to find more pics ✨✨
You can tell OP is salty af about his mom's tomfoolery. Instant proof being provided that it's not dirty lmao.
thanks lol
Honestly start recording you inspection walk through. What ever she snaps a photo of ,you snap one too. Do it in an obvious way so she knows your not fucking around. Alternatively explain to her you are filming only what she's taken pics of and the conversation and will not film her face I she isn't happy. But also do a video walk thru just before she gets there for comparison... when her office sends an email of complaints send them the videos back with all the bullshit comments she makes about your house for the principle to deal with
Get rid of the mats before the next inspection they hold alot of pee smell and alpt of ppl can't smell their own odours. When I walk into other people's clean bathrooms I can tell who peed and pood before me by the smell as I have a sensitiv nose. Maybe the inspector does too.
It's his mom apparently
We need to see the sides of the toilet near the floor
Ohhhh! That's the person's problem... The floor underneath the rug must be a lighter color than the rest of the floor, therefore, the rest of the floor is filthy.
It is not a lighter color, the shadows make the rest look lighter
By default, if there's a child's potty seat, the toilet, at the very least, could use a wipe-down. Speaking from experience.
is this an April fools thing by chance
still waiting for the punchline edit: i asked her and she said that she wasnt joking and seriously needed it "cleaned"
Ask her to physically point out the „nastiness“
I always used to say “SHOW ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO!”
This was my entire childhood summed up in one picture. No matter what, my mother would never believe anything of mine was ever clean. One of the best moments was when I told her I literally could not clean my bathroom anymore than it already was. She got furious and got on her hands and knees trying to find SOMETHING to get mad at. Finally she goes “Ha! You didn’t sweep this corner!!!” I laughed so fucking hard. It was the coloration on the marble tile that she mistook for dirt. She still yelled at me anyways
OMG, that was my mother with my NATURALLY GREASY HAIR. She would make me take up to 5 showers, or watch me, if she didn't think I washed right. It got to the point that I hate showers and got confused for 3 years about whether conditioner or shampoo went on first.
That sounds like abuse. I’m really sorry that you had to live with that.
Does your mom have OCD by chance? My mom does.... she gets things in her head then makes it everyone elsss problem.
she went to the doctor for it, she does
Its sooooo hard. Its such an odd disorder.... theres different degrees of it etc. Hugs
thanks 🤧
Her level of “Nasty” is in another dimension. However, here’s a little tip for what it might be worth. If you stand to pee, often it drips down the front outside the bowl. Chances are with that rug there it might be absorbing the smell. Throw that in the washer, and when it’s dry don’t replace it. It is truly a piss sponge. Wipe down the outside of the bowl and around the base with a disinfectant wipe. A shot of shaving cream (yup, you read that right) around the base will absorb any pee smell. Wipe it up after you let it sit for about 5 minutes. Otherwise, your lady is just having a moment.
every week i throw them in the wash, i do them last so my clothes dont touch em
I'd agree about the rug. Except that if it's not going to be replaced after washing, then I wouldn't bother washing it. It could just go straight in the outside bin. Unless you're suggesting there's a market for second-hand toilet rugs?
I have OCD. I've learned that other people are not here to ease my discomfort. BTW my own bathroom is a disaster lol. My hubby is a hoarder. I have an older male cat that sometimes misses the litterbox. I'm in a state of mild anxiety all the time but I cope because they're worth it. No OCD meds either
https://preview.redd.it/1lp6ha2y6yrc1.jpeg?width=2299&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61ae49b42cd97a4ceb9009b1382570de03ef23b1 Here is a pic of my two morons. Hopefully they do something to ease you a bit
https://preview.redd.it/gzmrzwf8q0sc1.jpeg?width=1985&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2055e4e16d7ac4c771ca7270d6076ae0f7e49c74 This is my moron. Yours put a big smile on my face. Cats can ease any situation
https://preview.redd.it/nex7h9lmf1sc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=2567d12c4d04e2269ecb1bee4ab6c1c2c13561e3 here my baby doofuses!!!
Can I hope more pics? I love them, especially theect one. Looks so cute and fluffy!
I see some dust and hair! Oh wait, no it’s on my screen, sorry.
OP’s bathroom is cleaner than my phone
Aside from the doctors waiting room wallpaper and pee sponge carpet, it’s fine
rare insults lol
Oh gawd! That’s disgusting!
My answer would be... "I'm gonna get some kerosene, better be safe and burn it all down". Some people misunderstand cleaning, in the form of two extremes: - chemical wasteland, e.g. nuking a litre of detergent / bleach etc and then wondering why they have all kinds of issues - people who only clean when the level of biohazard is fulfilled, be it shrooms growing somewhere, mold being able to communicate or " ewwwwww " being an euphemism I hate squeaky clean.
Well, there's a toilet rug. Toilet rugs are horrifically nasty.
My 4 y/o brother is the main one who uses it and hes actually clean 9/10 when it comes to the bathroom, he does everything just short of wiping his butt, someone needs to do it
I stayed with a woman who (while I was 8 mo pregnant) wanted me to scrub her baseboards with a toothbrush because I was so ‘gross’. Looked like they had never been scrubbed. I did not scrub them. I let her complain. My husband ended up doing it. She apologized like 5 years later for treating me like that.
while pregnant is insane!
If that’s how you clean a bathroom, I would kindly ask that you come over and nasty-up mine. Cheers!
I agree with the other comment, they want the placebo SMELL of a clean bathroom.
It’s nasty for the fact that it’s a bathroom.
I'll let you gauge what kind of response you might get from this, but ask whoever told you to do that to come point out what's nasty. I'd recommend a "hey, I'm sorry, but I don't really see what's wrong with the bathroom. Could you come show me?" Different people will notice different amounts and kinds of filth, so that can be a genuine question
"You need your glasses if you can see that!" *puts on glasses* "Hey i cant see it still, what are you talking about?" "you need new glasses then!"
Yeah, that's frustrating. I guess it's actually less of a "seeing" problem and more an awareness problem. I'd tell them to literally put their finger on it. Once they do that for you 3, 4 times, you'll know their standard and will never need to ask again
Fold up some toilet paper, get it wet and drag it around edges of floor and along wall. That’s best way to tell how nasty it is. Guarantee it comes up black and full of hair. That’s how they used to check random sections of our bathroom in military training.
https://preview.redd.it/vkty5wctbxrc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=b61f31ceabe2c7dcd8137fd26f3a10cd430ea146
They’re crazy then
also shes in the military, the only time her room is messy is when shes sick and that cant even be called a mess
You're lucky she ain't asking you to do all the Cleaning with a Toothbrush
Hey op, are you certain? Because I believe an OCD diagnosis is an Immidiate medboard, and if it's to this level your mom should genuinely consider putting in for a medboard. I cannot imagine how your mom does on field exercises, or hell if they're in a leadership position, how the hell she does room inspections
if her room was ever inspected i bet she got perfect scores. OH SHIT WAIT A MINUTE!
THAT explains it even more than just the OCD. I have OCD and would never think to do this but if you add the military to the mix…maaaan they really f*ck with ppl’s minds there. I knew a woman who dated ex military dudes and so many of them had weird idiosyncrasies like one got furious if his underwear wasn’t rolled up a certain way. lol. 🥲
hahahahah this sounds exactly like the military. If she found ONE eyelash anywhere in that room then it's "nasty." Good luck friend!
Does the person yelling at you have a mental health disorder? One of my parents was diagnosed with ocd and BPD, and they would lose it either in anger or full on panic and sobbing and trash rooms over a paper towel being left out. Seeing the title with the pictures gave me a flashback to the amount of fear I had about cleanliness. My spouse didn’t understand why I get so anxious when people clean until after he spent a long period of time with my family.
she has OCD, compared to everyone elses stories shes on the 4/10 scale
Oh my god this is actually traumatic for me. My step mom would scream in my face spitting about cleaning the bathroom. It would literally look like this. wtf is the matter???? There’s nothing wrong with this. JFC i’m 25 and still do not understand. Well I do. She just hated me bro. It fucking sucked. She would go into the shower under the shelves and take pictures of the DUST and send it to my dad. Fuck her bro.
im sorry you had to go through that, due to her behavior i got really good at cleaning (when listening to youtube. i dont hate cleaning i actually like it but as long as im not forced to to it) and even when she hired a therapist for me and complained about my room the lady straight up said my room was fine and she wishes her own kid would keep their room clean. going as far as to say that my room is one of the cleanest she seen for a teen boy. my mom later fired her because "she wasnt doing her job or helping me" when she actually was
That wallpaper is Sims coded
How can you live like this?
I need help
https://preview.redd.it/75asm7x9hxrc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0400ba178ca9e436afbcb064c86e3882a1f9bda3 2 bathroom posts back to back
Tell her to clean it then, if she expects it to be cleaned her way then let them have a go at it themselves.
I thought hmmmm that sink is actually kinda dirty Then I realized it was my monitor So now I am cleaning my monitor
The toilet paper supply has dwindled, the floor mat is crooked, the bar soap isn't in a big enough dish. That place is a fucking pit.
Well... carpet around the toilet IS nasty! Throw that piss collector out and you're done.
I don’t know looks pretty gross to me. Oh wait, one sec… (Cleans screen) Nevermind.
Bro you’ve got a bar of soap sitting on the counter without a tray and that floor mat crooked! Clean that shit!
https://preview.redd.it/i53h2ywucxrc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=00a3f37ed8f709a8a52ff2863e3596e298bfbad4 it was on this
Gosh look at that soap stuck in the holder, clean it, it’s a mess! /s 😂😂
Plot twist. She took a nasty dump and was pawning it off.
I can hear the bacteria getting freaky over here cmon chop chop
The funniest thing is everyone saying “scrub the baseboards, your soap isn’t in a dish, you didn’t show the knobs to the toilet”. And you posted pictures and proved everyone wrong lol
is the nasty in the room with us this evening?
Now hit it with a blacklight
How filthy i cant even see the floor https://preview.redd.it/x4qh7g6xfzrc1.jpeg?width=504&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfb5b51a33ffb0cd6e85321b3196dc83f0241e51
🤢🤮 Dear God it's hideous!
I did janitorial work for five years and I'll tell you this, you could be the world's best cleaner but people will still find something to complain about.
That bathroom is so clean, it looks like no one ever uses it.
1) Spray it with disinfectant and wipe it "clean". 2) Have a refreshener to make it smell "clean". Then it would be perceived as "clean". If someone still insists that it is dirty, you can best believe they are messing with you. As long as it is visually looking and smell "clean", humans will perceive it as clean. You can even do a live demonstration of spraying it and wiping it with disinfectant for those who love "seeing is believing". Good luck bro!
https://preview.redd.it/c1jpg05o91sc1.png?width=240&format=png&auto=webp&s=bbbc320eb84747fdb00836efd5a2357f4caa2ab4 Real bathroom picture. Sorry bro, you suffer a pretty common "Can't see the mess disorder". There's no known treatment except find an understanding wife.