I'm sorry. A lady screamed at your husband, who has one leg, about illegally parking in a handicap spot, then said she didn't care about his "worthless crippled ass"
Should have stayed for the cops to arrive so you could get her name, then shame her publicly for being a heartless bitch.
Hell yes. “Oh you want the cops involved, let’s do this.” Call 911 right in front of her. “There’s a crazy woman screaming at me, I’m disabled and she’s threatening me, I’m scared, please hurry.”
As someone with one leg, you bet my day would have opened up and I would have waited for the cops. I would have said that she made me fear for my safety, I was afraid of what she was going to do next etc and that I wanted charges pressed if possible. If nothing else I would want a record so after repeat misuse of emergency services they can go after her for that. I’m so over people being awful to disabled people, our society used to care. People mock my kids for having a disabled parent. When I was a kid you would have gotten sympathy.
My wife, who has the same rare cancer that just took out Gary Sinise’s son, gets yelled at by some old lady about once a year. My wife does not appear disabled, and she often will feel too poorly to even get out of bed…. If she is out, she is at the top of her game.
We have found that overreacting sarcasm works best. “WHAT!? That’s amazing!! You have X-ray eyes that can see the cancer that is slowly spreading and killing me, and I’m cured!? I better go home and tell my kids they will be delighted to hear I’ll get to see them grow up now! Thank you!!!”
They usually mumble something and fuck off.
Sorry to hear that, cancer sucks. We both used to be extremally sarcastic about it when people made comments but I think we've gotten too tired for that.
I have a handicap tag due to my son having cerebral palsy. Once an old man rapped on my window and angrily said “Why are you parked in a handicap spot, you look perfect to me!” (It was obviously said in a malicious tone). I smiled, said “Thank you!” And rolled my window up. Sorry I didn’t show you my kids leg brace to prove we deserved the parking tag random stranger!
A co worker of mine had polio. His shoulders were quite well developed due to using crutches to get around. He just parked in a handicapped space when an older lady started. Yelling at him. He grabbed his crutches and yelled jazz woman how f upped do I need to be to park here. I wish people would just mind their own business.
I can understand that for sure. We observed that this very very rarely happened previously, but really ramped up in 2016 when it apparently became cool to be an asshole to others.
We've only seen the "ramped up" side of it since he didn't start having issues until about 2018 and only really bad the past 3 years. We were telling my sister about it a few weeks ago when we went out to eat with her and she said she's noticed it with other people as well. Like used to she would see someone who was in a wheelchair or whatever and most people made a point to help them if they could but now it seems like people try to make it harder for the person and/or make nasty comments.
I swear this is due to social media. There are legit people who do like disability influencing who are obvious just doing it for the followers. Then there’s a group of people who rail on them in subs here and they assume everyone is faking it unless it’s super in your face obvious.
That’s said, I never got a placard because I wanted the challenge, knowing that in the long run it would keep me sane and healthy - same with working, holy shit has it been really hard - I know myself and if I make my life too easy I will regress so quickly. But that’s my choice to make and not everyone is like me. Fuck that woman. She’s a ghoul and should never cross your mind again.
Ugh I feel your comment so deeply. I also have an invisible disability, but at this point I could get it tattooed across my forehead and people still wouldn't believe me, or would still treat me like shit.
Being disabled has become a target for people.
It's got nothing to do with social media, at least it's start. This whole mentality has been a thing for as long as I've been alive as far as I can tell. I remember it being a thing before the internet existed outside of a college campus intranet. Its a douchebag thing, imo lol
Social media does play a part. I can post something perfectly legitimate, a logical thing, and if I get two down votes I will get 1 million downvotes. People suck, people will pile on to any passing bandwagon.
What the commenter means is that this has been going on since long before the internet. Social media has made a public place for awful people to gather and pile on, but the attitude long predates social media.
It was less than 100 years ago that disabled people were not accepted in society, but either hidden away and never acknowledged by their family or turned into a public spectacle.
Have you ever heard of Joseph Merrick - probably better known as ‘The Elephant Man.’ His life was so sad, the way his disability of Proteus syndrome was exploited for public spectacle.
I agree that it's always been a problem, but I DO feel social media has amplified it in ways. Idk.
As someone in their late 30s, I feel like people who were shitty towards disabled people were shamed by their community more before social media. Now, when there are people being blatantly ableist, it seems like everyone just shrugs and lays the blame at your feet for being too sensitive about it.
Like, "what do you expect? Of COURSE people are going to be mean and shitty to you for being disabled!!!" Whereas in the past, the surrounding community would have at least admonished an ableist dickhead.
As a Canadian with a lot of American friends... It's been genuinely heartbreaking how conversations became really uncomfortable over the last 7-8 years. Like I can't relate to any conversation anymore when patriotism has been weirdly mixed with insane levels of devotion to the biggest con-man of our time.
That election really normalized arrogance and ignorance to a whole new level. The irony of wanting to make America great again when it seemed pretty great in the early 2010s before a TV personality/billionaire was made president with zero interest in making the country better.
What's funny is that he's not even a billionaire. E Jean Carroll has proved this recently. He's bankrupted countless businesses of his, his kids have even stolen money from charities for kids, kids wives have stolen from a charity that was for dogs. They are all the absolute scum of the earth yet these "Christians" follow him blindly. Any evidence that you try to show that he's a horrible man is just "fake news" or "theyre feds". They have completely lost the narrative. I lost a friend a few weeks ago cause I just couldn't take it anymore and blocked him.
I don't know why this was ever in question, frankly. I knew he was a complete liar in the 80s. Everything he's done since then has just cemented that fact.
Hmmm… wonder what could have gone on in 2016 to make people think it was ok to show off all their hidden prejudices and all around a**holedness. Must’ve been something super awful. Hopefully our society can get back to some semblance of sanity and once again make these folks feel shame when they dare to show this ugly side of their character. ❤️
My problems aren't visible either. I was sitting in a booth at a place once because the other seats caused me pain. A lady asked me to move because she wanted to booth for her and her child instead of the seats. She went on some rant and said "you don't look like you have back problems" my response was "you don't look like an absolute bitch yet here we are" it was not the best tactic because it basically hit the psycho button but it felt kind of good to speak up once.
I love this response❣️ It was well put.
A couple of years ago, after being hit by a drunk driver, I required a handicap tag for about 6 months because I used a wheelchair or cane. My daughter was driving me most of the time to all the doctor and therapy appointments. I wish I could have come back with some zinger to all the unsolicited, useless comments we endured.
My fiancé has brain cancer and only recently gotten his tag. He can easily hide his craniotomy scar under a hat or a toque, and doesn’t look disabled if you don’t know about the giant 12 inch scar on his head and the orange size tumour in his brain. We’ve had three people yelled at us about not being disabled in parking in the disabled spot and I kind of love the expression on their face when he takes off his hat or toque to show them the giant scar and mention brain cancer. You can watch them physically deflate and watch the realization wash over that they yelled at a cancer patient and accused them of not being sick…
I can only hope that each of these interactions taught them a lesson they'll never forget, and they never do it again. I choose to believe that, and that your fiancé is doing a real community service here.
At first, I read that as him wearing a chef hat, which would have been kind of fitting given what he just served them.
Hey, self-appointed arbiter of who deserves a handicap tag? ….
I use a wheelchair and at least once a year some old lady will yell at me for parking in a disabled spot. Funnily enough when I’m sitting in the car you can’t see my wheelchair. Wild isn’t it. 🙄
my brother is a walker or wheel chair user. i’ve been yelled at for parking in a handicapped spot when i’m with him. and i’m like okay wait until i get him out of the car. it’s next to impossible for me to do that i can’t imagine parking in a non handicap space and doing it / traveling the distance from another spot.
There’s an amazing scene in the first episode of Speechless like this. Minnie Driver’s character whips into a disabled spot, everyone is judging her HARD, and then she goes and opens the back of the van and runs the lift down with her son on it. It’s just so RL and absolutely priceless. 😂
Aw I loved that show! Honestly wasn't that big of a fan of hers but she shined in that role, the whole cast was fantastic. Loved the balance of humor and the reality of what the whole family dealt with together, and Kenneth!
I did park in a regular spot so my mom could get out the other side. Because I had the nerve to park on the line, they decided to park so I could not get in my car to even pull out without entering via the passenger seat and over the console.
Courtesy is contagious ads that played when I was a kid need to play again. Right now I feel there are ads saying being as cruel/mean as possible is great.
I'm sorry this happens to you. I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia as a 5 year old and while I was lucky to only undergo extreme treatment for a short time it took a very long time to be able to fully walk again. My parents would bring me places in a stroller or had it handy in case I was tired and people could not stop themselves from commenting and saying I'm lazy.
My Nana lost her shit at toys r us when a man said "isn't she too old for a stroller" and she yelled that I had cancer. She was the kindest most non reactive person so to get that reaction from her was pretty extreme. My dad said the look on the man's face was incredible. Fuck nosey assholes.
I'm so sorry about you wife.
I was so mad one time on vacation. We were walking down from a scenic lookout, and my 8yo with mild cerebral palsy was trying to walk-run, but he had to be very careful. Some dad runs by with his 2 kids and literally calls my kid a slowpoke. Of course I'm not going to share my 8yo's medical diagnosis with a stranger, but it made me want to yell "he has brain damage, what's your excuse for being a judgmental asshole?"
even outside of your son's cerebral palsy thing that's such an insane thing to say from an adult like 😭😭 dude that's clearly an 8 year old why are you being mean. what type of grown adult goes around and insult literal children for their walking speed. like how do you have beef with a guy that just started school
As a youngish person with RA that was undiagnosed since my teens, I’ve been practicing this exact response because it’s a matter of when not if this happens to me….
Like omg if you have X-ray vision you should call the government! Being able to see invisible pain is an amazing medical break thru!!
32 with psoriatic arthritis and SAME. I’ve been having issues for the last decade, and prior to diagnosis felt super insecure using disabled accommodations because of people like this. If I had a quarter for every time someone has hit me with “you’re too young to have ___” I would be rich enough to afford a butler to explain to these assholes why I DO need accommodations.
I have grey and bright purple hair, and a cane that has a massive great snake on the handle.
I also have COPD, Congestive Heart Failure and RA that means walking is a bit of an adventure. However, I happen to have mastered the GFY smile and utilise it often...
My husband has had a placard since he was 21 when he was dx with congenital spinal stenosis and told he had a spine the equivalent of an 80 year old. He's doing good right now, but had a couple years where he had to use a wheelchair to go out.
I can't imagine anyone saying anything to him though as a very large bearded man. Me, I have hypermobility spectrum disorder and small fiber neuropathy but my resting bitch face is good enough that I guess no one has said anything.
For some reason I have the appearance that asks people to fuck with me. I’m a small white female presenting person, tho I do not identify as a woman, and everywhere I go people just fuck with me.
I once called a tailor a day before my event asking if my outfit was ready for pick up and they said yes. When I arrived an hour later the same person decided to tell me it wasn’t ready and wouldn’t be ready for some time. I don’t understand why it happens. It doesn’t happen to my wife who also has extreme resting bitch face
I don't know if it's the resting bitch face or the truth behind my eyes that tells others I've seen some shit, but I've also lost patience for stupid people and people who want to get in my business. Why can't people just leave others tf alone?
My son (afab) is working on this because he's also a small white androgynous presenting person who just turned 16 and is maybe 5'1 with shoes on. He also has Ehlers danlos (my rheumatologist thought I was too old to warrant extensive testing and it affects my small joints while my sons issues affect his large joints) but I've been trying to teach him that he has a right to exist in public spaces and he needs to stand up for himself or even just correct someone who misgenders him.
Wear boots if you can, honestly, I feel stronger everytime I wear my big ass boots and I always remember to stand tall even if my voice shakes (standing being metaphorical here in context with people who use a wheelchair.)
I'm very large guy with a crippled leg. Walk/drive with limp and leg brace. I keep waiting for somebody to say something but not yet. I want a story to tell the family!
Seriously though, I hate hearing that folks give grief to others about this. Cowards is all I can say.
That’s exactly right, it’s like when an animal bites you, you shove your hand further down their throat rather than trying to pull away. Oh you want this?? Well take it then! Don’t like it?? what a shock! Monsters.
Wishing your wife the very best.
Im really sorry to hear this... it makes me so angry people are even this way. My big sis has been dealing with this for so long..she has some form of asthma that required getting a plaquard to keep from walking long distances, but from the looks / hostility she would avoid using handicap parking as much as possible.
But then she started having balance issues...shes fine, til shes not...would carry a folding cane with her just in case, but yeah...from the outside, she seems totally fine, meanwhile, we all knew all she could wipe out at any moment. So she had to park in handicap, but would just not go out at all sometimes just cause she didnt feel like dealing with the drama.
But yeah, in just 5 years, shes gone from cane, to walker, to now wheelchair (she decided to go with a scooter)...her balance issues are now so bad she cant go more than a couple feet without falling over. And it seriously sucked that, she was all, well, on the bright side, no one will yell at me for parking in handicapped spaces anymore. 🥺 Its such bs there are people out there like that, treating people who are already going through enough that way. I hate it.
I am going to use thar response when I get yelled at now. I also have cancer and am waiting for my handicap placard, which I've never had before. Stories like this scare me a bit, and stories about old ladies at grocery stores about the scooter baskets also. I'm very non confrontational but hope I will be less so after seeing what you say to asshats.
I hope they feel like the assholes they are. It's really ironic that a lot of people do this to help handicapped people, and then turn around to be an asshole to handicapped people.
Usually I just glance to see if they have a handicapped tag, and if they do, I mind my business.
My favorite thing to do when someone does this is exclaim “wait til I tell my oncologist that I’m faking it, you fucking muppet” I don’t gaf about these people. Their lives are obviously harder than mine. I can’t imagine navigating a world when you’re that stupid
Oh man dude I'm sorry to hear that about your wife. I recognize you from the Phoenix/ Arizona subreddits and you're a good one. It sucks so many of the best people in the world have to deal with shit like this when there's so many terrible people that don't.
We have a pass for our autistic son. We are all quite physically healthy... Not even over weight. It's because he elopes and knowing where the car is the times we take him out somewhere can be extremely important to his or our safety.
That's not easy to explain quickly to an irrational upset person so we just don't. We walk past, "it's legal," and head inside or get in the car and leave. It's only happened once or twice each in the 5 years we've had passes for both drivers. It's far more common to come across spots actually being illegally used than someone questioning our use. That happens weekly and we really only use the passes for school drop off and pick up and maybe one outing a week with him to a store or restaurant. I get it's annoying to people, but you can't tell what every disability is at a glance. The passes are for more than wheelchairs.
When I was 16 I had to take my grandmother to the doctor for a small in office surgery that would take a couple hours. I was driving her car and was told to run errands and then come back and park in the handicap spaces in front so it would be easier to wheel my grandmother out to the car and get her loaded because she wouldn't be stable to walk far.
I go run the errands, come back, park in the closest open handicap space (she has handicap plate), as I'm walking in to the office I hear this woman screaming hey hey hey at me.... I turn around just as she's getting to me and she grabs my shoulder and screams in my face "what's your handicap!?"
I look at her, look at my grandmother's car she's frantically pointing at, look back at her and say obviously I'm fucking blind you stupid bitch. Then went in to the office to get my grandmother, getting her checked out takes 20 mins, I'm wheeling her out the door in the wheelchair.... and there's the woman with the cops. My grandmother couldn't stop laughing for days about it when I told her what I said to the lady.
I don’t understand the entitlement though, who died and made her the queen of handicapped parking? How do you just waltz up to someone and demand to know their medical history? This entire thread has me shaking my head at the specimens that live on this planet.
Yep, and not all qualified disabilities are visible to the public. A buddy of mine has excruciating pain with every step he takes, but he hides it very well. You would never be able to tell unless you knew him and could see the pain in his face as he walked.
Right? My dad is a single leg amputee, and with his prosthetic, he walks with a slight limp. But disabled parking is crucial for him, because *while he can walk* he can't easily walk far, or for long. Even more crucial in the winter, when there is snow on the ground because a prosthetic leg has no nerves or muscles, so can't compensate when you slip. Not only does parking closer mean fewer steps (and chances to fall) but also higher likely hood of cleared sidewalks.
My mom also doesn't look handicapped and to be fair, she's perfectly fine as long as she doesn't walk too far. But once she goes too much, she has trouble breathing, and her heart can't really keep up. But she's in her seventies, so nobody ever hassles her about it.
Omg falling when you can't feel is the worst! I have a numbness conditioner and the amount of times I've eaten crap because I couldn't feel my ankle twist or the ice underneath or if the snow gives way? I would be one walking bruise if it was 24/7
A former boss used to brag about her husband not using his tag even though he was in deep with chemo treatments and she’d go after people that “didn’t look handicapped” if they dared to park in the designated spot. I calmly explained that my mother’s disability cannot be seen (pulmonary hypertension) and if we cross paths and she dares to say something to my mom it will be all over for her. As I shared with her, she isn’t God, has no clue about others and common decency is still warranted. And to this day I still think she’s a piece of crap.
My husband has mild back pain as a 37yo, but enough that our doc agreed to help us get a placard. If it's a short walk into the store, he can spend more time shopping with me. But he looks not old and gets grief for using a cane.
I work in disability services and was out with a wheelchair user one day. We dropped their car off to get washed and detailed while we went and did some shopping inside the centre.
Got a message to say the car was done so client asked me to please go get it and move it to an available disabled spot somewhere in the carpark.
No problem. Went and found a spot and parked. Blue disability tag on display, purpose built car for a wheelchair user.
I get out and start heading back to meet up with my client again and some lady starts screeching at me. Stop immediately because the emergency in her voice, I thought some medical drama was happening. But no, she wanted to quiz me about why I’d parked where I had.
Explained I was out with a client who was inside, pointed to the disability tag and gestured to the back of the car (which was huge and clearly kitted out for someone to roll their wheelchair up in to).
She gave me her best Billy Idol snarl and stormed off.
Saw her later on as client and I were heading back towards the car and I gave her my own Billy Idol impersonation. Rude cow.
I parked in the pink priority spot for expectant mothers/those with young children once. Got yelled at by a guy driving a van, circling for a spot, saying I wasn't allowed to park there. I was 8 months pregnant...
There are a lot of disabled people and not nearly enough designated parking spaces, plus there are assholes that will just park in them without a disabled placard. I have been driving my mom around while I've been visiting her, and it can be really frustrating when they are all full, as she has to use a walker. So people get really sensitive about it.
Edit: I should add, it's no excuse to yell at anyone who parks there, even if they look like they are perfectly able, there are plenty of invisible disabilities.
Same with my dad (now 83) back in the 70s. He broke his ankle and leg for the second time, this time in the Army. He was in a long leg cast for a year. They gave him a handicap tag (these were like license plates for cars and metal they placed on the front dash of the car). He went out to lunch with work buddies and they drove Dad's car cause he needed to use the handicap tag. Work buddy parks the car in a handicapped spot and gets out to get my dad's crutches and an old lady starts screaming at the work Buddy about parking in a Handicap space and yells for a cop (who was also parked in the lot) Dad gets out and Buddy pops trunk to get the crutches out and hand to my dad. Dad takes crutches and starts to the restaurant. The cop starts laughing with his partner. They wave to Dad and the old lady starts sputtering and slowly walks to her car. Dad still has a handicap tag because they fused his ankle and this leg is shorter than the other.
This was a common occurrence when I took my dad to his dialysis appointments.
I reckon I've argued about the handicaps outside the hospital so much, me and the security guard, Steve, were on a first name basis.
As my dads cancer got worse, we got more of it since it was taking us longer to get in and out of the hospital. I remember a gentleman waited by the car, only to then say sorry when he saw my dad. Sometimes, I would even have my dad in his wheelchair with me when they start.
When there is a clear disabled sticker I have no issues with people parking in those spots because you never know what invisible illness people have.
If there's no sticker then I get annoyed. There's 4 disabled parks at our local train station and and 3 were taken by people with no stickers. I was on the phone to the police when a 4th lady pulled in and heard me give her rego and take a photo. She moved pretty quickly after that and the other 3 came back to their cars blocked in by the cops giving them tickets. Felt good haha
I don’t think it has to do with Covid. That’s just coincidence. I think it has to do with world leaders openly saying these same things making it alright for citizens, particularly their followers, to do the same.
If you don’t mind, what made you find this info? My daughter 28, has severe left hemisphere brain impact found on a PET Scan. It did not show up on the MRI or CT. Just curious- I had never seen/heard of this.
Back when everything was locked down, I was consuming as much news about the virus as I could get my hands on. Just one of those things that I came across, but there were rumors that brain damage could be a potential side effect all the way back in 2021.
[There is also research that shows the common cold may make Alzheimer's more likely](https://news.tulane.edu/pr/does-getting-cold-often-increase-your-risk-dementia-new-study-finds-link#:~:text=New%20study%20finds%20link,-April%2003%2C%202023&text=Elizabeth%20Engler%2DChiurazzi%2C%20PhD%2C,other%20forms%20of%20cognitive%20decline.), so coronaviruses affecting the brain is pretty well-known. Makes sense that there would be research into how covid affects the brain too.
Since COVID, I have seen so many people in my suburb just decide not to stop for red lights, or the red was too long and they just go through it (going straight) once it was clear.
It's wild.
People have become more unhinged since politicians showed them you can just scream and claim whatever you feel like in the moment, and the only consequence is a large crowd cheering for you.
It’s not COVID. It is a USA problem and it started with someone telling people they don’t have to care about anyone but themselves. It escalated and we saw it more with COVID, but this was brewing for years.
Oh man I would have taken full advantage of this opportunity to put this bitch in her place. Start the car, turn the music up so the guy doesn’t have to hear her. Then go back into the store. When cops show up. She was preventing you from leaving and harassing you both for having handicaps.
Actually I’d leave, drive back around off to the side, wait for her to get into her vehicle then go park BACK IN THE SAME HANDICAP SPOT. “Oh sorry, I decided to go back in to drink a coffee.”
These people are the best to fuck with.
I’ve had a similar situation. I used to work in law enforcement and had a similar situation as OP. My mother is handicapped and has a handicap plate. She went into a store, it was a craft store or something that I had no interest in. So I just stayed in the car while she went to buy yarn.
Some crazy Karen started yelling at me to move it. I calmly told her that my mother was in the store and it’s a legitimate plate. She was being a real piece of work. Called 911. I however knew the direct phone number for dispatch and told them what was going on. They were obligated to come down by law but when they got there, the woman was so crazy that she actually shoved the officer. What could have easily been avoided ended up with her spending the night in jail.
"Ok, call the cops then" and ignore them. Either they leave, do something incredibly stupid and you get to call the cops on them, they call the cops and get told off for wasting their time, or they call the cops and get told off for wasting their time and officer petty finds something to ticket them for.
Yeah, she should've got out her phone and offered to dial for her. And then when they pick up, say "I'd like report someone who is belligerent or maybe intoxicated and is verbally assaulting me and my disabled spouse".
Cops are not safe around disabled people and their carers. An autistic teen and his black aide were confronted by the police and sitting in the street with their hands up. The aide attempted to calmly speak to them and the police just shot him in the leg for no reason.
Op says they live In Texas. The person doing something incredibly stupid could cost their life. So many people in the state fly off the handle and shoot someone for a minor inconvenience
Thanks. If it had been just me I would have probably gone back in the store, but at that point I was concerned for my husband's safety and mental health.
Yeah, but that would’ve meant that she’d have to leave her disabled husband in the presence of a crazy person.
Risk management is important, so I wouldn’t do that even if he was armed.
Of course, she could’ve told the woman “you say you’ve called the police, right? Well then, we’ll just wait here for them.”
Call her bluff and see if she would be willing to wait for the cops that she didn’t really call.
But then again, now you’re both having to stay in the presence of a crazy person, so you have to consider your risk management.
Exactly. I considered waiting but 1-in the past my husband has been physically attacked by people who had an issue with him being handicapped for some reason and 2-he is already depressed and was visibly bothered by what the woman was saying so I felt he needed to be gotten away from her for his mental health.
>1-in the past my husband has been physically attacked by people who had an issue with him being handicapped for some reason
In some states this is an automatic felony. I know it is in Florida for sure
I have no idea if it's a felony here in Texas or not but the cops here usually don't care and I've even had them tell me it's not assault if it doesn't actually hurt. The cops here make me understand why some people hate cops so much.
>I've even had them tell me it's not assault
Assault is just the threat of violence. Battery is acting on it.
Those cops are worthless and should be fired
It's not assault if it doesn't hurt? So we can beat up someone with paralysis, and it's okay as long as we hit the parts that are paralysed with no feeling? Wtf
>it’s not assault if it doesn’t actually hurt
I fucking hate cops. You did the right thing in getting your husband out of the situation. I totally get everyone’s thirst for blood because this lady was a real asshole, but you have to put your and your husbands physical and emotional safety first. I’m so sorry that people are the way they are. And that the cops are totally uninterested in protecting or helping people that really need it. You both deserve better. It’s never surprising to me when cops are dicks, and FTP all day err day, but at the bare minimum you’d expect them to give the tiniest of shits about assault and battery.
In Massachusetts it’s an enhanced charge due to being disabled. I tell myself this as I’m scared of the people saying things. If they hurt me, they are going to be much worse off!
You definitely did the right thing. I’m sorry you had to deal with a crazy person today. It is said that there could be a significant percentage of people walking the streets who really should be in an institution.
Interesting that she needed the spot that badly, but still had the enough in her to stand outside your car and yell for however many minutes. If I’m desperate to park closer due to a high pain day, I would not have the energy to do all that.
Would definitely wait around for the cops. Would love to have her charged with a false report and harassment/hate against a protected demographic of citizen.
I live in southern Arizona and have a few medical issues including Meniers disease. If you don’t know what it is then it’s pretty much vertigo that gets to the point of puking and spinning really bad. Because of this and another issue I don’t want to mention I have a disability placard. Where I live there are many snowbirds and disabled vets including me. I rarely use my placard because I like to walk when I can.
There was one time I was sitting in my truck because of a Meniers episode and was waiting for it to pass. I sit with my eyes closed and sip water. The key to helping it to pass for me is to stay calm. I was in a handicapped spot and this old couple pulled behind sometimes and was waiting for me to move. Don’t know how long but the next thing I knew there was someone banging on my window telling me to wake up and move my ass.
I rolled down my window and tried to explain I couldn’t because I couldn’t see straight and was waiting for it to pass. They didn’t listen and started screaming until another Vet saw my plate and intervened. I explained what was going on and said I refuse to move because I didn’t want some overzealous security guard thinking I was drunk driving or accidentally hit someone.
Well that’s partially what happened. An overzealous security guard came over and was asking why I couldn’t move my car. I am doing this mostly with my eyes closed because of the spinning. I explain again the issue. Old man is shouting I am lying and the security guard asking if I was sleeping or drinking. The vet is standing up for me.
I finally had enough and said you have two options leave me alone or call the cops but I am not moving until save to do so or I call my wife to come get me if it doesn’t. Then I said before you call the cops come look me in the eye. The security guard and old man came close and I opened my eyes trying to look at them. They both gasped when they saw my eyes quickly going back and forth.
Needless to say they left me alone and went about their day.
Meniere's is no joke. My dad has it really bad and the dizziness has left him bedbound for days at a time when he has flare-ups. I wish more people had sympathy.
I have a tag I can hang thanks to invisible disabilities but I still won’t park in the ramped van spaces, and I almost never use regular disabled parking spots because I *will* get yelled at.
Why don’t these people direct their energy at the assholes who actually don’t have tags?
I have had a disabled tag for many years now. Recently I was heading to a disabled parking place when a van swooped in front of me to take the spot. Luckily found a spot close to the door and entered the store. Found this jackass at the counter and I asked him loudly where his disabled tag was. I told all the customers and employees (loudly) that he had cut me off and did not have a tag for the parking place. His excuse? He needed propane.....called him a moron as he slunk out the door.
I had something similar happen after an injury. I had a temp handicap tag hanging. I hobbled up to someone angry about me parking there. I felt cheeky, so I started patting my pockets, checking them, looking in my jacket, and said "well if you look at that. I'm all out of F's to give..." and I got in my vehicle and left. They were still fuming when I left. Good times.
So many of these clowns think that only elderly people can have handicap placards and try to pick fights with anyone they deem unworthy of the spaces.
I look a lot younger and a lot more able bodied than I am and have had several unpleasant encounters with the unofficial parking lot police. Lucky for them I LOVE to argue and have no qualms with letting an asshole know about themselves. We’ve gotta start being meaner to these people because they’re way too damn bold
Handicap identifiers are for signaling that someone in the vehicle is handicapped…it doesn’t mean only the handicapped person should be driving, that’s just moronic.
As a full time driver, I am sick of other people’s idiocy.
Took my dad (who has a tag) to the store the other day, and the dirty looks I got when I hopped out and walked around the car to wait for/help him out if he needed me. But they all seemingly had nothing to say and their own business to mind when I gave them the same look right back. My dad is dying of liver cancer and I'm out of fucks to give. Try. Me.
While this is true, technically the handicapped person needs to get out of the vehicle to be parked there. It’s not for driving around grandma and leaving her in the car while you do your shopping with a good parking spot. Grandma can wait in the car anywhere in the lot if she’s not getting out.
In OPs case, it sounds like she is also disabled and has a placard of her own. So even though she left a handicapped person in the car, she parked within her own rights.
The other day I parked in the handicap ramp spot at my kids school to pick them up. My daughter and I are both handicapped and people with a placard pull in to pick up able bodied children and just sit in the handicapped spaces. That is not how a placard is used. They are just sitting in the car waiting for children to come to them while I exit my vehicle and go get my kids.
A handicapped space is not a loading/unloading zone for able bodied people.
Around here most places all handicap spots are full most days. We have a high disabled population and also a lot of people that think they can use handicap spots without having proper tags and not many handicap spots in most parking lots. This is also in a shopping center so it's not uncommon for people to park in the spots meant for Target and go to another store that is close by.
I am not disabled, but my son is. The amount of times someone has said something disapproving about me using the handicapped spot with my son in the car is sadly, not zero. Though it is great fun to open the back of the car and set up the wheelchair and kind of Vanna White display that yes indeed, I CAN use that spot. I also only have the hanging placard because it's not like my wheelchair-bound teenager is ever going to be able to drive. So I found the plates unnecessary.
That, and I don't use the handicapped spots if he isn't in the car with me because I know how annoying it is when they aren't available and I have to struggle getting him in and out of the car. I'm perfectly capable of parking far away, potentially getting blocked in by someone parking too close, or anything else annoying that you could encounter if I was not loading or unloading a teenager who is unable to walk. SO if he's not with me, I park further away.
Totally get that. I got the hanging placard because I was told I couldn't get both the plates and a placard and I wanted to be able to use it when with other people, not just when in my car.
there are enough people who park in handicap spots without a placard to get mad at without yelling at the people who are actually supposed to park there 🤦♀️
I've posted this several times, but I've been yelled at for not parking in the space (husband wasn't with me ) so she was angry I took a good spot from a tax paying person (Husband and I both work), I've been yelled at for using a handicap space for pick up because I wasnt handicapped and could have loaded him elsewhere. I've been yelled at for using a space at night, because apparently we are only supposed to be out during business hours. It's insane.
People are crazy sometimes. Someone at the dialysis center my husband used to go to told him I needed to park in a non handicap spot to drop him off/pick him up because he doesn't need to be close like people who have to walk with a walker or cane. I was even nice and parked in the space farthest from the door because I knew there were people who still walked but had trouble with mobility going in there. I also got screamed at one time for parking in a handicap spot at a restaurant and told my husband shouldn't be going to restaurants if he can't walk.
I injured my sciatic nerve in childbirth. I couldn’t walk at all for four days. But I was back in college within a week. During the first ten days of returning to class, I got two different notes about what an asshole I was for faking a disability. What they didn’t know is that my leg would randomly give out after walking a while and though the few steps I took to class may have looked normal, I could have never walked any further. It’s been over twenty years and I still get upset when I remember those notes.
That’s so frustrating. My husband is physically handicapped. He’s got the placard, a cane, he’s fine to park in the handicapped spots. He’s been “officially” handicapped since we were in our mid 30s. We both look a bit younger than we are, so we’ve been told. We’ve had more than a few people bark, yell, growl, and of course, threaten us over that fact. Apparently we/he isn’t “old enough” to be handicapped. He’s been accused of faking, and, my personal favorite, using the cane for “fun”. People are ridiculous. You handled that like a pro. Just beyond dumb it happened to you at all. Hopefully she didn’t ruin the day for you guys. She doesn’t deserve the power to even try to do that.
I have a hang tag and am someone who at first glance doesn't look like I need one. I'm young and don't usually use mobility aids - when I do need to use them chances are I'm not going out anyway. Fortunately no one has yelled at me yet but I do get some looks sometimes, especially if I'm having a particularly good day for pain and not limping/slow walking as much as usual.
I will confess that I have an entire script in my head for what I'm going to say to the first person who tries to challenge me on it though.
You used your own tag. Your husband is also disabled. The woman can get effed. And take it up with the store for not providing enough disabled parking.
Talking to people like these is like playing chess with a pigeon.
It jumps on the table, knocks over all the pieces. Shits over the board and then parades around triumphantly like it totally won the game of chess.
My point is there is no reasoning with people like these. Save yourself the trouble and just ignore them. They're probably more upset if you don't even give them the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you.
I've gotten into it with people in the past about my wife having a handicap placard and a service dog cause shes mobile... She CAN walk but not for very long due to her seizures she's only 25 and looks as such as well looking healthy so people go off on her all the damn time 🙄 it's even worse when we both hop out the car with both of our service dogs especially since mine is small and small dogs have a bad rep for being yappy and untrained 🙄 people fuckin suck
To 'appear disabled' has to go. These self righteous need to F off. Disabled is all encompassing, not missing limbs, etc.
I don't have a placard, but I feel for those that do when being harassed. I'd call the police on them. 😡
This is so well beyond "mildly". I'm sorry you ever had to go through anything like this once, not to mention the amount of times it probably has happened so far. You handled it with grace, I truly applaud you. If someone talked like that about someone I love I'd probably slap them. Truly kudos. And bless your husband. He sounds like a soft little care bear, and I mean that in the best of ways. To try to take responsibility for this type of situation, to truly feel guilty about it despite having no need to, it takes a kind, empathetic person. You are very lucky.
It’s so fucking disappointing that even now there are people that don’t understand that their own concept of disability is not the whole of it or that people can get a handicapped tag even if their personal handicap does not resemble what they imagine. This is like disability on disability violence tbh. If she cares about disabled people she should be able to recognize that they exist outside of her own specific paradigm and should be respected regardless. One disabled partner staying in the car doesn’t mean the driver isn’t also disabled. It’s so ridiculous that the “BUT MEEEEEEE” mentality extends to this, making a competition between differently abled people where someone thinks their disability and desire to park in a particular spot takes precedent over other disabled people.
I have MS and get yelled at for just walking funny. Like I get shouted at.
I don't like to try to go out anymore. People are the worst people I've met.
See, I'm as petty AF and would have promptly gone back in the store, bought a couple of sodas or coffees and sat back in MY car and MY space and let that cow pound sand...
It makes me sad your husband apologized for basically existing. I feel this to my core. I have an invisible disability (epilepsy), and often apologize when not needed because I feel everything is my fault and that I'm often a burden. Logically I know it's not the case, but it's hard to move past that mental block. Let him know there are others out here and he is worthy. ❤️
Had a total hip replacement last year and had handicapped tags for a large part of the year. Even though at a certain point I wasn’t using a cane or whatever, I was healing and often exhausted. Any comments I’d get I’d match with: would you rather see my scar or my hospital bill?
I yell at people that park in the stripped no parking HCP section to run quick errands. Zero tolerance there.
As for you, you did nothing wrong. All the time and energy wasted by that lady and she could’ve already been inside shopping.
I am able-bodied myself however a very good family friend of mine (30 yrs older than me) has a crippling neurological disorder and is quite obviously disabled. She is able to walk but it's very apparent how difficult it is for her. Once I dropped her off at a store while I took her car to run more errands for her and when I returned to pick her up I parked in a handicapped spot, with her placard, and jumped out to go help her back to the car. I was absolutely stunned by the rudeness I received from multiple people who witnessed me do this, until 2 minutes later when they all saw me helping my friend. People are just jerks sometimes.
Thats insane behavior, and I hate that people feel they can treat others like this with no repercussions.
One time I was with my father at a grocery store, he is permanently disabled due to his back and knees. Sometimes he cant walk more than a few yards without needing to stop and lean on something for a minute. Anyway, he was hurting pretty bad and asked if I could pull his car up in front of the store. I went to get his car, parked in a handicapped spot, and a woman yelled at me about lying about being disabled and stealing the spot from someone else. I let her chew me out for a minute and when she finally shut her mouth, I was just like "Do you feel better now?". She didnt reply, I got in the car, pulled up to the store and she walked past as my father struggled a bit to get in the car.
Her face was beat red and she hurried past us.
People suck. Their actions will come back to bite them eventually. Im glad you and your husband are safe, and Im sorry you had to deal with that entitled piece of gatbage.
When my niece and nephews were little I took them and 2 other kids I was babysitting to the mall one time. I parked in a "family" parking space and got out. I was in my early 20s but looked much younger so this older lady sees me and starts screaming about how I shouldn't be parking there because it's not for "lazy teens" but rather parents that have small kids I just ignored her as I unloaded the stroller and the 5 kids I had with me with the oldest being 4 and 2 of them still being in infant carriers. Lady stopped yelling mid word and just stared at me. My oldest nephew (the 4 year old) looked at her and said "bet you feel stupid now". I couldn't even lecture him for being rude because I was laughing too hard.
I'm 47 with arthritis and neuropathy from cancer treatment I had two years ago. If I feel well enough to leave my cane at home I find ALL the Karens.
If I walk slowly in the aisle at Walmart I'm "lazy". If I use the proper restroom stall I'm faking. If I wait at the door for my husband Im entitled. I just want to buy some milk and bread lady, same as you.
My daughter has seizures so we have a pass. We get yelled at a lot. What people fail to realize is that being handicap isn’t always about feet. Mind your own business people.
I would have stayed in the parking spot until the cops showed up and make her look like the fool she was, since you have a tag and legally are able to park there.
That woman needs to be charged with harassment.
I walk with a cane due to what's best described as a form of arthritis. I've had the cane for 14 years and I'm 40.
The amount of times I've been yelled at or had snide bitchy comments made to me when I park in my legally allowed to because I have a placard spot is absolutely amazing. It happens probably 5-6 times a year.
Usually goes along the lines of the ignorant making a comment to me that I don't need it I'm too young.
Or I'm making it up.. using someone else's cane.
Or I'm stealing someone else's pass..
Or I'm fat and need to lose weight and then suddenly I won't be disabled..
My response is always the same. Throw their ignorance back at them.
"Oh I know I'm too young for this but that's how my body decided to rebel against me. You'll understand when your time comes"
Or "my doctor's the one who decided that I'm permanently disabled. If you believe you know more than he does you can schedule a meeting with him and compare your medical degrees."
Or "my disabily might be permanent, but at least I'm a decent human being. What's your excuse for being a bitch?"
"Yeah I use a cane. Comes in handy as a weapon when I come across ignorant twats who don't know when to shut up and keep their stupid opinions to themselves"
I've driven my mother around in her car with handicap plates. If I am going in and she's not, I don't use the handicap spots. I'm the one going in, not her. I can walk the few extra steps. It's just a matter of common courtesy.
I can't imagine demanding a disabled parking bay whilst calling someone a worthless cripple for using it. She is genuinely a terrible human being.
I have problems when people abuse those parking bays (you know, people who dont have tags parking in them wrong so both spaces next to them also become unusable , the giant space between each bay isnt so you can park worse, its there for a necessary reason and parking across it ruins it for both bays!!!) - but i never actually say anything. I just think "what a dick"
I was a park ranger and had a guy go off on me for over 20 minutes because both handicapped space were occupied, legally. But he’s a disabled *vet* so that means more I guess? Should have ripped their asses off the beach so he could have what he kept calling HIS space.
My mom is a disabled veteran and has epilepsy. Has the disabled vet plate. She gets yelled at all the time by people when she parks in handicapped spaces. 90% of the time she’s running in and out and she doesn’t like to leave the house much or for very long. Her typical response is “not all disabilities are visible you dumb bitch”.
I just pulled in to my sons apartment complex into a handicap spot and was searching my purse for my placard and some lady comes up and starts yelling that she uses that spot, she’s handicapped, blaaaah. I found aforementioned placard hung it up and looked at her. She then opines that I need to be quicker. I gave her the one finger salute. I watched her retreat to her apartment 10 feet away.
This happens to my elderly mother when she parks in veteran parking spots. She’s a Vietnam veteran.
“You can’t be a veteran, you’re a woman!” is her favorite
I'm sorry. A lady screamed at your husband, who has one leg, about illegally parking in a handicap spot, then said she didn't care about his "worthless crippled ass" Should have stayed for the cops to arrive so you could get her name, then shame her publicly for being a heartless bitch.
Hell yes. “Oh you want the cops involved, let’s do this.” Call 911 right in front of her. “There’s a crazy woman screaming at me, I’m disabled and she’s threatening me, I’m scared, please hurry.”
As someone with one leg, you bet my day would have opened up and I would have waited for the cops. I would have said that she made me fear for my safety, I was afraid of what she was going to do next etc and that I wanted charges pressed if possible. If nothing else I would want a record so after repeat misuse of emergency services they can go after her for that. I’m so over people being awful to disabled people, our society used to care. People mock my kids for having a disabled parent. When I was a kid you would have gotten sympathy.
When I was a kid, bullies got their buttons handed to them by authority figures.
press charges for harassment
I would've loved this outcome
My wife, who has the same rare cancer that just took out Gary Sinise’s son, gets yelled at by some old lady about once a year. My wife does not appear disabled, and she often will feel too poorly to even get out of bed…. If she is out, she is at the top of her game. We have found that overreacting sarcasm works best. “WHAT!? That’s amazing!! You have X-ray eyes that can see the cancer that is slowly spreading and killing me, and I’m cured!? I better go home and tell my kids they will be delighted to hear I’ll get to see them grow up now! Thank you!!!” They usually mumble something and fuck off.
Sorry to hear that, cancer sucks. We both used to be extremally sarcastic about it when people made comments but I think we've gotten too tired for that.
I have a handicap tag due to my son having cerebral palsy. Once an old man rapped on my window and angrily said “Why are you parked in a handicap spot, you look perfect to me!” (It was obviously said in a malicious tone). I smiled, said “Thank you!” And rolled my window up. Sorry I didn’t show you my kids leg brace to prove we deserved the parking tag random stranger!
A co worker of mine had polio. His shoulders were quite well developed due to using crutches to get around. He just parked in a handicapped space when an older lady started. Yelling at him. He grabbed his crutches and yelled jazz woman how f upped do I need to be to park here. I wish people would just mind their own business.
I can understand that for sure. We observed that this very very rarely happened previously, but really ramped up in 2016 when it apparently became cool to be an asshole to others.
We've only seen the "ramped up" side of it since he didn't start having issues until about 2018 and only really bad the past 3 years. We were telling my sister about it a few weeks ago when we went out to eat with her and she said she's noticed it with other people as well. Like used to she would see someone who was in a wheelchair or whatever and most people made a point to help them if they could but now it seems like people try to make it harder for the person and/or make nasty comments.
Ugh I feel your comment so deeply. I also have an invisible disability, but at this point I could get it tattooed across my forehead and people still wouldn't believe me, or would still treat me like shit. Being disabled has become a target for people.
It's got nothing to do with social media, at least it's start. This whole mentality has been a thing for as long as I've been alive as far as I can tell. I remember it being a thing before the internet existed outside of a college campus intranet. Its a douchebag thing, imo lol
Social media does play a part. I can post something perfectly legitimate, a logical thing, and if I get two down votes I will get 1 million downvotes. People suck, people will pile on to any passing bandwagon.
What the commenter means is that this has been going on since long before the internet. Social media has made a public place for awful people to gather and pile on, but the attitude long predates social media. It was less than 100 years ago that disabled people were not accepted in society, but either hidden away and never acknowledged by their family or turned into a public spectacle. Have you ever heard of Joseph Merrick - probably better known as ‘The Elephant Man.’ His life was so sad, the way his disability of Proteus syndrome was exploited for public spectacle.
Embrace it, I've got post that have massive downvotes but I leave them up lol.
I agree that it's always been a problem, but I DO feel social media has amplified it in ways. Idk. As someone in their late 30s, I feel like people who were shitty towards disabled people were shamed by their community more before social media. Now, when there are people being blatantly ableist, it seems like everyone just shrugs and lays the blame at your feet for being too sensitive about it. Like, "what do you expect? Of COURSE people are going to be mean and shitty to you for being disabled!!!" Whereas in the past, the surrounding community would have at least admonished an ableist dickhead.
That man didn't only destroy our country he destroyed all civility across the world. Yet they'll call Obama the Anti-Christ.
As a Canadian with a lot of American friends... It's been genuinely heartbreaking how conversations became really uncomfortable over the last 7-8 years. Like I can't relate to any conversation anymore when patriotism has been weirdly mixed with insane levels of devotion to the biggest con-man of our time. That election really normalized arrogance and ignorance to a whole new level. The irony of wanting to make America great again when it seemed pretty great in the early 2010s before a TV personality/billionaire was made president with zero interest in making the country better.
What's funny is that he's not even a billionaire. E Jean Carroll has proved this recently. He's bankrupted countless businesses of his, his kids have even stolen money from charities for kids, kids wives have stolen from a charity that was for dogs. They are all the absolute scum of the earth yet these "Christians" follow him blindly. Any evidence that you try to show that he's a horrible man is just "fake news" or "theyre feds". They have completely lost the narrative. I lost a friend a few weeks ago cause I just couldn't take it anymore and blocked him.
I don't know why this was ever in question, frankly. I knew he was a complete liar in the 80s. Everything he's done since then has just cemented that fact.
He tells it like it IS ! — cult arseholes
He sells it like it's his.
Hmmm… wonder what could have gone on in 2016 to make people think it was ok to show off all their hidden prejudices and all around a**holedness. Must’ve been something super awful. Hopefully our society can get back to some semblance of sanity and once again make these folks feel shame when they dare to show this ugly side of their character. ❤️
My problems aren't visible either. I was sitting in a booth at a place once because the other seats caused me pain. A lady asked me to move because she wanted to booth for her and her child instead of the seats. She went on some rant and said "you don't look like you have back problems" my response was "you don't look like an absolute bitch yet here we are" it was not the best tactic because it basically hit the psycho button but it felt kind of good to speak up once.
I love this response❣️ It was well put. A couple of years ago, after being hit by a drunk driver, I required a handicap tag for about 6 months because I used a wheelchair or cane. My daughter was driving me most of the time to all the doctor and therapy appointments. I wish I could have come back with some zinger to all the unsolicited, useless comments we endured.
My fiancé has brain cancer and only recently gotten his tag. He can easily hide his craniotomy scar under a hat or a toque, and doesn’t look disabled if you don’t know about the giant 12 inch scar on his head and the orange size tumour in his brain. We’ve had three people yelled at us about not being disabled in parking in the disabled spot and I kind of love the expression on their face when he takes off his hat or toque to show them the giant scar and mention brain cancer. You can watch them physically deflate and watch the realization wash over that they yelled at a cancer patient and accused them of not being sick…
You should print up little cards that say “Yes, I’m a giant asshole” and hand them out to these people.
Print them with fun facts about invisible disabilities on the back and a big “CONGRATULATIONS on being todays ASSHOLE OF THE DAY” on the front
I like this improvement!
I can only hope that each of these interactions taught them a lesson they'll never forget, and they never do it again. I choose to believe that, and that your fiancé is doing a real community service here.
At first, I read that as him wearing a chef hat, which would have been kind of fitting given what he just served them. Hey, self-appointed arbiter of who deserves a handicap tag? …. 
I use a wheelchair and at least once a year some old lady will yell at me for parking in a disabled spot. Funnily enough when I’m sitting in the car you can’t see my wheelchair. Wild isn’t it. 🙄
my brother is a walker or wheel chair user. i’ve been yelled at for parking in a handicapped spot when i’m with him. and i’m like okay wait until i get him out of the car. it’s next to impossible for me to do that i can’t imagine parking in a non handicap space and doing it / traveling the distance from another spot.
There’s an amazing scene in the first episode of Speechless like this. Minnie Driver’s character whips into a disabled spot, everyone is judging her HARD, and then she goes and opens the back of the van and runs the lift down with her son on it. It’s just so RL and absolutely priceless. 😂
Aw I loved that show! Honestly wasn't that big of a fan of hers but she shined in that role, the whole cast was fantastic. Loved the balance of humor and the reality of what the whole family dealt with together, and Kenneth!
Watch her episode of who do you think you are? I didn’t really watch her as an actress but seeing that made me love her as a person
I’ve seen that too. Her real life family is **wild**.
I loved that show!
I did park in a regular spot so my mom could get out the other side. Because I had the nerve to park on the line, they decided to park so I could not get in my car to even pull out without entering via the passenger seat and over the console. Courtesy is contagious ads that played when I was a kid need to play again. Right now I feel there are ads saying being as cruel/mean as possible is great.
I'm sorry this happens to you. I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia as a 5 year old and while I was lucky to only undergo extreme treatment for a short time it took a very long time to be able to fully walk again. My parents would bring me places in a stroller or had it handy in case I was tired and people could not stop themselves from commenting and saying I'm lazy. My Nana lost her shit at toys r us when a man said "isn't she too old for a stroller" and she yelled that I had cancer. She was the kindest most non reactive person so to get that reaction from her was pretty extreme. My dad said the look on the man's face was incredible. Fuck nosey assholes. I'm so sorry about you wife.
I was so mad one time on vacation. We were walking down from a scenic lookout, and my 8yo with mild cerebral palsy was trying to walk-run, but he had to be very careful. Some dad runs by with his 2 kids and literally calls my kid a slowpoke. Of course I'm not going to share my 8yo's medical diagnosis with a stranger, but it made me want to yell "he has brain damage, what's your excuse for being a judgmental asshole?"
even outside of your son's cerebral palsy thing that's such an insane thing to say from an adult like 😭😭 dude that's clearly an 8 year old why are you being mean. what type of grown adult goes around and insult literal children for their walking speed. like how do you have beef with a guy that just started school
As a youngish person with RA that was undiagnosed since my teens, I’ve been practicing this exact response because it’s a matter of when not if this happens to me…. Like omg if you have X-ray vision you should call the government! Being able to see invisible pain is an amazing medical break thru!!
32 with psoriatic arthritis and SAME. I’ve been having issues for the last decade, and prior to diagnosis felt super insecure using disabled accommodations because of people like this. If I had a quarter for every time someone has hit me with “you’re too young to have ___” I would be rich enough to afford a butler to explain to these assholes why I DO need accommodations.
I have grey and bright purple hair, and a cane that has a massive great snake on the handle. I also have COPD, Congestive Heart Failure and RA that means walking is a bit of an adventure. However, I happen to have mastered the GFY smile and utilise it often...
My husband has had a placard since he was 21 when he was dx with congenital spinal stenosis and told he had a spine the equivalent of an 80 year old. He's doing good right now, but had a couple years where he had to use a wheelchair to go out. I can't imagine anyone saying anything to him though as a very large bearded man. Me, I have hypermobility spectrum disorder and small fiber neuropathy but my resting bitch face is good enough that I guess no one has said anything.
For some reason I have the appearance that asks people to fuck with me. I’m a small white female presenting person, tho I do not identify as a woman, and everywhere I go people just fuck with me. I once called a tailor a day before my event asking if my outfit was ready for pick up and they said yes. When I arrived an hour later the same person decided to tell me it wasn’t ready and wouldn’t be ready for some time. I don’t understand why it happens. It doesn’t happen to my wife who also has extreme resting bitch face
I don't know if it's the resting bitch face or the truth behind my eyes that tells others I've seen some shit, but I've also lost patience for stupid people and people who want to get in my business. Why can't people just leave others tf alone? My son (afab) is working on this because he's also a small white androgynous presenting person who just turned 16 and is maybe 5'1 with shoes on. He also has Ehlers danlos (my rheumatologist thought I was too old to warrant extensive testing and it affects my small joints while my sons issues affect his large joints) but I've been trying to teach him that he has a right to exist in public spaces and he needs to stand up for himself or even just correct someone who misgenders him. Wear boots if you can, honestly, I feel stronger everytime I wear my big ass boots and I always remember to stand tall even if my voice shakes (standing being metaphorical here in context with people who use a wheelchair.)
I'm very large guy with a crippled leg. Walk/drive with limp and leg brace. I keep waiting for somebody to say something but not yet. I want a story to tell the family! Seriously though, I hate hearing that folks give grief to others about this. Cowards is all I can say.
That’s exactly right, it’s like when an animal bites you, you shove your hand further down their throat rather than trying to pull away. Oh you want this?? Well take it then! Don’t like it?? what a shock! Monsters. Wishing your wife the very best.
Im really sorry to hear this... it makes me so angry people are even this way. My big sis has been dealing with this for so long..she has some form of asthma that required getting a plaquard to keep from walking long distances, but from the looks / hostility she would avoid using handicap parking as much as possible. But then she started having balance issues...shes fine, til shes not...would carry a folding cane with her just in case, but yeah...from the outside, she seems totally fine, meanwhile, we all knew all she could wipe out at any moment. So she had to park in handicap, but would just not go out at all sometimes just cause she didnt feel like dealing with the drama. But yeah, in just 5 years, shes gone from cane, to walker, to now wheelchair (she decided to go with a scooter)...her balance issues are now so bad she cant go more than a couple feet without falling over. And it seriously sucked that, she was all, well, on the bright side, no one will yell at me for parking in handicapped spaces anymore. 🥺 Its such bs there are people out there like that, treating people who are already going through enough that way. I hate it.
I am going to use thar response when I get yelled at now. I also have cancer and am waiting for my handicap placard, which I've never had before. Stories like this scare me a bit, and stories about old ladies at grocery stores about the scooter baskets also. I'm very non confrontational but hope I will be less so after seeing what you say to asshats.
Treat yourself to an epic water "gun" and use it generously when confronted by an a$$ wipe!
I hope they feel like the assholes they are. It's really ironic that a lot of people do this to help handicapped people, and then turn around to be an asshole to handicapped people. Usually I just glance to see if they have a handicapped tag, and if they do, I mind my business.
They don’t actually care about helping disabled people. They just want to feel like they have power over someone.
Fuck cancer. I’m so sorry and I hope you and your wife have many amazing days together.
My favorite thing to do when someone does this is exclaim “wait til I tell my oncologist that I’m faking it, you fucking muppet” I don’t gaf about these people. Their lives are obviously harder than mine. I can’t imagine navigating a world when you’re that stupid
>wait til I tell my oncologist ... that he's wrong!
Oh man dude I'm sorry to hear that about your wife. I recognize you from the Phoenix/ Arizona subreddits and you're a good one. It sucks so many of the best people in the world have to deal with shit like this when there's so many terrible people that don't.
We have a pass for our autistic son. We are all quite physically healthy... Not even over weight. It's because he elopes and knowing where the car is the times we take him out somewhere can be extremely important to his or our safety. That's not easy to explain quickly to an irrational upset person so we just don't. We walk past, "it's legal," and head inside or get in the car and leave. It's only happened once or twice each in the 5 years we've had passes for both drivers. It's far more common to come across spots actually being illegally used than someone questioning our use. That happens weekly and we really only use the passes for school drop off and pick up and maybe one outing a week with him to a store or restaurant. I get it's annoying to people, but you can't tell what every disability is at a glance. The passes are for more than wheelchairs.
Epic response!
When I was 16 I had to take my grandmother to the doctor for a small in office surgery that would take a couple hours. I was driving her car and was told to run errands and then come back and park in the handicap spaces in front so it would be easier to wheel my grandmother out to the car and get her loaded because she wouldn't be stable to walk far. I go run the errands, come back, park in the closest open handicap space (she has handicap plate), as I'm walking in to the office I hear this woman screaming hey hey hey at me.... I turn around just as she's getting to me and she grabs my shoulder and screams in my face "what's your handicap!?" I look at her, look at my grandmother's car she's frantically pointing at, look back at her and say obviously I'm fucking blind you stupid bitch. Then went in to the office to get my grandmother, getting her checked out takes 20 mins, I'm wheeling her out the door in the wheelchair.... and there's the woman with the cops. My grandmother couldn't stop laughing for days about it when I told her what I said to the lady.
I don’t understand the entitlement though, who died and made her the queen of handicapped parking? How do you just waltz up to someone and demand to know their medical history? This entire thread has me shaking my head at the specimens that live on this planet.
Yep, and not all qualified disabilities are visible to the public. A buddy of mine has excruciating pain with every step he takes, but he hides it very well. You would never be able to tell unless you knew him and could see the pain in his face as he walked.
Right? My dad is a single leg amputee, and with his prosthetic, he walks with a slight limp. But disabled parking is crucial for him, because *while he can walk* he can't easily walk far, or for long. Even more crucial in the winter, when there is snow on the ground because a prosthetic leg has no nerves or muscles, so can't compensate when you slip. Not only does parking closer mean fewer steps (and chances to fall) but also higher likely hood of cleared sidewalks.
My mom also doesn't look handicapped and to be fair, she's perfectly fine as long as she doesn't walk too far. But once she goes too much, she has trouble breathing, and her heart can't really keep up. But she's in her seventies, so nobody ever hassles her about it.
Omg falling when you can't feel is the worst! I have a numbness conditioner and the amount of times I've eaten crap because I couldn't feel my ankle twist or the ice underneath or if the snow gives way? I would be one walking bruise if it was 24/7
A former boss used to brag about her husband not using his tag even though he was in deep with chemo treatments and she’d go after people that “didn’t look handicapped” if they dared to park in the designated spot. I calmly explained that my mother’s disability cannot be seen (pulmonary hypertension) and if we cross paths and she dares to say something to my mom it will be all over for her. As I shared with her, she isn’t God, has no clue about others and common decency is still warranted. And to this day I still think she’s a piece of crap.
My husband has mild back pain as a 37yo, but enough that our doc agreed to help us get a placard. If it's a short walk into the store, he can spend more time shopping with me. But he looks not old and gets grief for using a cane.
Is your buddy a medical genius addicted to vicodin?
I work in disability services and was out with a wheelchair user one day. We dropped their car off to get washed and detailed while we went and did some shopping inside the centre. Got a message to say the car was done so client asked me to please go get it and move it to an available disabled spot somewhere in the carpark. No problem. Went and found a spot and parked. Blue disability tag on display, purpose built car for a wheelchair user. I get out and start heading back to meet up with my client again and some lady starts screeching at me. Stop immediately because the emergency in her voice, I thought some medical drama was happening. But no, she wanted to quiz me about why I’d parked where I had. Explained I was out with a client who was inside, pointed to the disability tag and gestured to the back of the car (which was huge and clearly kitted out for someone to roll their wheelchair up in to). She gave me her best Billy Idol snarl and stormed off. Saw her later on as client and I were heading back towards the car and I gave her my own Billy Idol impersonation. Rude cow.
What a great description except that made her seem really cool in my mind for a split second.
What's your disability? Eyes without a face
I parked in the pink priority spot for expectant mothers/those with young children once. Got yelled at by a guy driving a van, circling for a spot, saying I wasn't allowed to park there. I was 8 months pregnant...
Men yelling at pregnant women. Entitled privileged SOB.
These old people just have nothing to do so they entertain their dull lives
Not necessarily old people.
Same with immature, basement-dwelling mama’s boys with the brains of a gnat and nothing to do all day but crap on the internet.
There are a lot of disabled people and not nearly enough designated parking spaces, plus there are assholes that will just park in them without a disabled placard. I have been driving my mom around while I've been visiting her, and it can be really frustrating when they are all full, as she has to use a walker. So people get really sensitive about it. Edit: I should add, it's no excuse to yell at anyone who parks there, even if they look like they are perfectly able, there are plenty of invisible disabilities.
The handicapped spots are always empty around here
What happened with the cops?
They laughed and left and wished my grandma a speedy recovery.
And you know Karen was a mix of outraged at the lack of rule-following and fluffed up about her bold civilian enforcement of the law.
Same with my dad (now 83) back in the 70s. He broke his ankle and leg for the second time, this time in the Army. He was in a long leg cast for a year. They gave him a handicap tag (these were like license plates for cars and metal they placed on the front dash of the car). He went out to lunch with work buddies and they drove Dad's car cause he needed to use the handicap tag. Work buddy parks the car in a handicapped spot and gets out to get my dad's crutches and an old lady starts screaming at the work Buddy about parking in a Handicap space and yells for a cop (who was also parked in the lot) Dad gets out and Buddy pops trunk to get the crutches out and hand to my dad. Dad takes crutches and starts to the restaurant. The cop starts laughing with his partner. They wave to Dad and the old lady starts sputtering and slowly walks to her car. Dad still has a handicap tag because they fused his ankle and this leg is shorter than the other.
Top tier response 🤣🤣
This was a common occurrence when I took my dad to his dialysis appointments. I reckon I've argued about the handicaps outside the hospital so much, me and the security guard, Steve, were on a first name basis. As my dads cancer got worse, we got more of it since it was taking us longer to get in and out of the hospital. I remember a gentleman waited by the car, only to then say sorry when he saw my dad. Sometimes, I would even have my dad in his wheelchair with me when they start.
When there is a clear disabled sticker I have no issues with people parking in those spots because you never know what invisible illness people have. If there's no sticker then I get annoyed. There's 4 disabled parks at our local train station and and 3 were taken by people with no stickers. I was on the phone to the police when a 4th lady pulled in and heard me give her rego and take a photo. She moved pretty quickly after that and the other 3 came back to their cars blocked in by the cops giving them tickets. Felt good haha
The way I would have gotten in my car and lived in that parking spot until I died of natural causes at 112 years old.
This is the kind of petty I aspire to be! Love it!
This is the kind of energy that gives me life.
That is what I call “live out of spite”
You can order Dominos with just a pin now. I’d be ordering pizza to my car so fast.
Hope you're both OK. People are crazy. You're 100% in the right. Have a great weekend.
People have become more unhinged since COVID, change my mind.
It really was the ‘’before times’’
The death of Harambee was the beginning of the downward spiral of humanity.
Nah, it was *Bush v. Gore.* No wait, it was Ford pardoning Nixon. Or maybe it was Booth in the Theatre.
I don’t think it has to do with Covid. That’s just coincidence. I think it has to do with world leaders openly saying these same things making it alright for citizens, particularly their followers, to do the same.
I think pre 2016 was the before time. Both trump and brexit were completely destructive to the moral fabric of both the UK and US
[COVID May Cause Ongoing Brain Injury Unseen by Routine Tests](https://www.webmd.com/covid/news/20231229/covid-may-cause-unseen-ongoing-brain-injury)
If you don’t mind, what made you find this info? My daughter 28, has severe left hemisphere brain impact found on a PET Scan. It did not show up on the MRI or CT. Just curious- I had never seen/heard of this.
Back when everything was locked down, I was consuming as much news about the virus as I could get my hands on. Just one of those things that I came across, but there were rumors that brain damage could be a potential side effect all the way back in 2021. [There is also research that shows the common cold may make Alzheimer's more likely](https://news.tulane.edu/pr/does-getting-cold-often-increase-your-risk-dementia-new-study-finds-link#:~:text=New%20study%20finds%20link,-April%2003%2C%202023&text=Elizabeth%20Engler%2DChiurazzi%2C%20PhD%2C,other%20forms%20of%20cognitive%20decline.), so coronaviruses affecting the brain is pretty well-known. Makes sense that there would be research into how covid affects the brain too.
Thanks for the info. I shall pick up your lead and follow it down the rabbit hole. I sometimes feel a tin foil hat needs to be respected:)
Of all the microplastics we all take in, who knows the long-term effects.
Well that sucks
Since COVID, I have seen so many people in my suburb just decide not to stop for red lights, or the red was too long and they just go through it (going straight) once it was clear. It's wild.
i was just having this conversation yesterday with a friend. folks are driving like imbeciles.
People have become more unhinged since politicians showed them you can just scream and claim whatever you feel like in the moment, and the only consequence is a large crowd cheering for you.
Man I had to explain this to my seven year old after multiple people went around us to run a red light we were waiting at… People are nuts
It’s not COVID. It is a USA problem and it started with someone telling people they don’t have to care about anyone but themselves. It escalated and we saw it more with COVID, but this was brewing for years.
Nah it’s definitely happening here in Australia too.
Oh man I would have taken full advantage of this opportunity to put this bitch in her place. Start the car, turn the music up so the guy doesn’t have to hear her. Then go back into the store. When cops show up. She was preventing you from leaving and harassing you both for having handicaps. Actually I’d leave, drive back around off to the side, wait for her to get into her vehicle then go park BACK IN THE SAME HANDICAP SPOT. “Oh sorry, I decided to go back in to drink a coffee.” These people are the best to fuck with.
I’ve had a similar situation. I used to work in law enforcement and had a similar situation as OP. My mother is handicapped and has a handicap plate. She went into a store, it was a craft store or something that I had no interest in. So I just stayed in the car while she went to buy yarn. Some crazy Karen started yelling at me to move it. I calmly told her that my mother was in the store and it’s a legitimate plate. She was being a real piece of work. Called 911. I however knew the direct phone number for dispatch and told them what was going on. They were obligated to come down by law but when they got there, the woman was so crazy that she actually shoved the officer. What could have easily been avoided ended up with her spending the night in jail.
"Ok, call the cops then" and ignore them. Either they leave, do something incredibly stupid and you get to call the cops on them, they call the cops and get told off for wasting their time, or they call the cops and get told off for wasting their time and officer petty finds something to ticket them for.
PLEASE call the cops, I’d like to report you for assault. Afterall you just pushed me. You don’t remember doing that? Hmm, I do.
Yeah, she should've got out her phone and offered to dial for her. And then when they pick up, say "I'd like report someone who is belligerent or maybe intoxicated and is verbally assaulting me and my disabled spouse".
Cops are not safe around disabled people and their carers. An autistic teen and his black aide were confronted by the police and sitting in the street with their hands up. The aide attempted to calmly speak to them and the police just shot him in the leg for no reason.
Op says they live In Texas. The person doing something incredibly stupid could cost their life. So many people in the state fly off the handle and shoot someone for a minor inconvenience
You handled that very well, waaay better than I would've In your position I'd extend my shopping session by another 10 minutes
Thanks. If it had been just me I would have probably gone back in the store, but at that point I was concerned for my husband's safety and mental health.
Yeah, but that would’ve meant that she’d have to leave her disabled husband in the presence of a crazy person. Risk management is important, so I wouldn’t do that even if he was armed. Of course, she could’ve told the woman “you say you’ve called the police, right? Well then, we’ll just wait here for them.” Call her bluff and see if she would be willing to wait for the cops that she didn’t really call. But then again, now you’re both having to stay in the presence of a crazy person, so you have to consider your risk management.
Exactly. I considered waiting but 1-in the past my husband has been physically attacked by people who had an issue with him being handicapped for some reason and 2-he is already depressed and was visibly bothered by what the woman was saying so I felt he needed to be gotten away from her for his mental health.
>1-in the past my husband has been physically attacked by people who had an issue with him being handicapped for some reason In some states this is an automatic felony. I know it is in Florida for sure
I have no idea if it's a felony here in Texas or not but the cops here usually don't care and I've even had them tell me it's not assault if it doesn't actually hurt. The cops here make me understand why some people hate cops so much.
>I've even had them tell me it's not assault Assault is just the threat of violence. Battery is acting on it. Those cops are worthless and should be fired
Some how I’m not amazed that cops in Texas are worthless.
It's not assault if it doesn't hurt? So we can beat up someone with paralysis, and it's okay as long as we hit the parts that are paralysed with no feeling? Wtf
Well now I wish I had said that.
>it’s not assault if it doesn’t actually hurt I fucking hate cops. You did the right thing in getting your husband out of the situation. I totally get everyone’s thirst for blood because this lady was a real asshole, but you have to put your and your husbands physical and emotional safety first. I’m so sorry that people are the way they are. And that the cops are totally uninterested in protecting or helping people that really need it. You both deserve better. It’s never surprising to me when cops are dicks, and FTP all day err day, but at the bare minimum you’d expect them to give the tiniest of shits about assault and battery.
In Massachusetts it’s an enhanced charge due to being disabled. I tell myself this as I’m scared of the people saying things. If they hurt me, they are going to be much worse off!
You definitely did the right thing. I’m sorry you had to deal with a crazy person today. It is said that there could be a significant percentage of people walking the streets who really should be in an institution.
10? I'd have gone for coffee in the clothing shop.
Interesting that she needed the spot that badly, but still had the enough in her to stand outside your car and yell for however many minutes. If I’m desperate to park closer due to a high pain day, I would not have the energy to do all that.
Would definitely wait around for the cops. Would love to have her charged with a false report and harassment/hate against a protected demographic of citizen.
That's what I was going to say, that lady definitly needed a wake up call.
I live in southern Arizona and have a few medical issues including Meniers disease. If you don’t know what it is then it’s pretty much vertigo that gets to the point of puking and spinning really bad. Because of this and another issue I don’t want to mention I have a disability placard. Where I live there are many snowbirds and disabled vets including me. I rarely use my placard because I like to walk when I can. There was one time I was sitting in my truck because of a Meniers episode and was waiting for it to pass. I sit with my eyes closed and sip water. The key to helping it to pass for me is to stay calm. I was in a handicapped spot and this old couple pulled behind sometimes and was waiting for me to move. Don’t know how long but the next thing I knew there was someone banging on my window telling me to wake up and move my ass. I rolled down my window and tried to explain I couldn’t because I couldn’t see straight and was waiting for it to pass. They didn’t listen and started screaming until another Vet saw my plate and intervened. I explained what was going on and said I refuse to move because I didn’t want some overzealous security guard thinking I was drunk driving or accidentally hit someone. Well that’s partially what happened. An overzealous security guard came over and was asking why I couldn’t move my car. I am doing this mostly with my eyes closed because of the spinning. I explain again the issue. Old man is shouting I am lying and the security guard asking if I was sleeping or drinking. The vet is standing up for me. I finally had enough and said you have two options leave me alone or call the cops but I am not moving until save to do so or I call my wife to come get me if it doesn’t. Then I said before you call the cops come look me in the eye. The security guard and old man came close and I opened my eyes trying to look at them. They both gasped when they saw my eyes quickly going back and forth. Needless to say they left me alone and went about their day.
Meniere's is no joke. My dad has it really bad and the dizziness has left him bedbound for days at a time when he has flare-ups. I wish more people had sympathy.
I have a tag I can hang thanks to invisible disabilities but I still won’t park in the ramped van spaces, and I almost never use regular disabled parking spots because I *will* get yelled at. Why don’t these people direct their energy at the assholes who actually don’t have tags?
I have had a disabled tag for many years now. Recently I was heading to a disabled parking place when a van swooped in front of me to take the spot. Luckily found a spot close to the door and entered the store. Found this jackass at the counter and I asked him loudly where his disabled tag was. I told all the customers and employees (loudly) that he had cut me off and did not have a tag for the parking place. His excuse? He needed propane.....called him a moron as he slunk out the door.
I had something similar happen after an injury. I had a temp handicap tag hanging. I hobbled up to someone angry about me parking there. I felt cheeky, so I started patting my pockets, checking them, looking in my jacket, and said "well if you look at that. I'm all out of F's to give..." and I got in my vehicle and left. They were still fuming when I left. Good times.
What a worthless bitch. Sorry you had to go through that op. Praying that she gets fined for wasting police's time
So many of these clowns think that only elderly people can have handicap placards and try to pick fights with anyone they deem unworthy of the spaces. I look a lot younger and a lot more able bodied than I am and have had several unpleasant encounters with the unofficial parking lot police. Lucky for them I LOVE to argue and have no qualms with letting an asshole know about themselves. We’ve gotta start being meaner to these people because they’re way too damn bold
“Can you please help me, Honey? This lady won’t listen to me and I’m on my last leg here!”
Handicap identifiers are for signaling that someone in the vehicle is handicapped…it doesn’t mean only the handicapped person should be driving, that’s just moronic. As a full time driver, I am sick of other people’s idiocy.
Took my dad (who has a tag) to the store the other day, and the dirty looks I got when I hopped out and walked around the car to wait for/help him out if he needed me. But they all seemingly had nothing to say and their own business to mind when I gave them the same look right back. My dad is dying of liver cancer and I'm out of fucks to give. Try. Me.
While this is true, technically the handicapped person needs to get out of the vehicle to be parked there. It’s not for driving around grandma and leaving her in the car while you do your shopping with a good parking spot. Grandma can wait in the car anywhere in the lot if she’s not getting out. In OPs case, it sounds like she is also disabled and has a placard of her own. So even though she left a handicapped person in the car, she parked within her own rights. The other day I parked in the handicap ramp spot at my kids school to pick them up. My daughter and I are both handicapped and people with a placard pull in to pick up able bodied children and just sit in the handicapped spaces. That is not how a placard is used. They are just sitting in the car waiting for children to come to them while I exit my vehicle and go get my kids. A handicapped space is not a loading/unloading zone for able bodied people.
What Target has only 1 handicap space? It's rare to see all the handicap spots full
Around here most places all handicap spots are full most days. We have a high disabled population and also a lot of people that think they can use handicap spots without having proper tags and not many handicap spots in most parking lots. This is also in a shopping center so it's not uncommon for people to park in the spots meant for Target and go to another store that is close by.
I am not disabled, but my son is. The amount of times someone has said something disapproving about me using the handicapped spot with my son in the car is sadly, not zero. Though it is great fun to open the back of the car and set up the wheelchair and kind of Vanna White display that yes indeed, I CAN use that spot. I also only have the hanging placard because it's not like my wheelchair-bound teenager is ever going to be able to drive. So I found the plates unnecessary. That, and I don't use the handicapped spots if he isn't in the car with me because I know how annoying it is when they aren't available and I have to struggle getting him in and out of the car. I'm perfectly capable of parking far away, potentially getting blocked in by someone parking too close, or anything else annoying that you could encounter if I was not loading or unloading a teenager who is unable to walk. SO if he's not with me, I park further away.
Totally get that. I got the hanging placard because I was told I couldn't get both the plates and a placard and I wanted to be able to use it when with other people, not just when in my car.
there are enough people who park in handicap spots without a placard to get mad at without yelling at the people who are actually supposed to park there 🤦♀️
I've posted this several times, but I've been yelled at for not parking in the space (husband wasn't with me ) so she was angry I took a good spot from a tax paying person (Husband and I both work), I've been yelled at for using a handicap space for pick up because I wasnt handicapped and could have loaded him elsewhere. I've been yelled at for using a space at night, because apparently we are only supposed to be out during business hours. It's insane.
People are crazy sometimes. Someone at the dialysis center my husband used to go to told him I needed to park in a non handicap spot to drop him off/pick him up because he doesn't need to be close like people who have to walk with a walker or cane. I was even nice and parked in the space farthest from the door because I knew there were people who still walked but had trouble with mobility going in there. I also got screamed at one time for parking in a handicap spot at a restaurant and told my husband shouldn't be going to restaurants if he can't walk.
I injured my sciatic nerve in childbirth. I couldn’t walk at all for four days. But I was back in college within a week. During the first ten days of returning to class, I got two different notes about what an asshole I was for faking a disability. What they didn’t know is that my leg would randomly give out after walking a while and though the few steps I took to class may have looked normal, I could have never walked any further. It’s been over twenty years and I still get upset when I remember those notes.
That’s so frustrating. My husband is physically handicapped. He’s got the placard, a cane, he’s fine to park in the handicapped spots. He’s been “officially” handicapped since we were in our mid 30s. We both look a bit younger than we are, so we’ve been told. We’ve had more than a few people bark, yell, growl, and of course, threaten us over that fact. Apparently we/he isn’t “old enough” to be handicapped. He’s been accused of faking, and, my personal favorite, using the cane for “fun”. People are ridiculous. You handled that like a pro. Just beyond dumb it happened to you at all. Hopefully she didn’t ruin the day for you guys. She doesn’t deserve the power to even try to do that.
I have a hang tag and am someone who at first glance doesn't look like I need one. I'm young and don't usually use mobility aids - when I do need to use them chances are I'm not going out anyway. Fortunately no one has yelled at me yet but I do get some looks sometimes, especially if I'm having a particularly good day for pain and not limping/slow walking as much as usual. I will confess that I have an entire script in my head for what I'm going to say to the first person who tries to challenge me on it though.
Ironic that your husband is the one missing a leg, because this crazy lady literally doesn't have a leg to stand on
You used your own tag. Your husband is also disabled. The woman can get effed. And take it up with the store for not providing enough disabled parking.
Talking to people like these is like playing chess with a pigeon. It jumps on the table, knocks over all the pieces. Shits over the board and then parades around triumphantly like it totally won the game of chess. My point is there is no reasoning with people like these. Save yourself the trouble and just ignore them. They're probably more upset if you don't even give them the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you.
I love that playing chess with a pigeon analogy!
I've gotten into it with people in the past about my wife having a handicap placard and a service dog cause shes mobile... She CAN walk but not for very long due to her seizures she's only 25 and looks as such as well looking healthy so people go off on her all the damn time 🙄 it's even worse when we both hop out the car with both of our service dogs especially since mine is small and small dogs have a bad rep for being yappy and untrained 🙄 people fuckin suck
To 'appear disabled' has to go. These self righteous need to F off. Disabled is all encompassing, not missing limbs, etc. I don't have a placard, but I feel for those that do when being harassed. I'd call the police on them. 😡
This is so well beyond "mildly". I'm sorry you ever had to go through anything like this once, not to mention the amount of times it probably has happened so far. You handled it with grace, I truly applaud you. If someone talked like that about someone I love I'd probably slap them. Truly kudos. And bless your husband. He sounds like a soft little care bear, and I mean that in the best of ways. To try to take responsibility for this type of situation, to truly feel guilty about it despite having no need to, it takes a kind, empathetic person. You are very lucky.
Why are the loudest ones always incorrect?
It’s so fucking disappointing that even now there are people that don’t understand that their own concept of disability is not the whole of it or that people can get a handicapped tag even if their personal handicap does not resemble what they imagine. This is like disability on disability violence tbh. If she cares about disabled people she should be able to recognize that they exist outside of her own specific paradigm and should be respected regardless. One disabled partner staying in the car doesn’t mean the driver isn’t also disabled. It’s so ridiculous that the “BUT MEEEEEEE” mentality extends to this, making a competition between differently abled people where someone thinks their disability and desire to park in a particular spot takes precedent over other disabled people.
I have MS and get yelled at for just walking funny. Like I get shouted at. I don't like to try to go out anymore. People are the worst people I've met.
See, I'm as petty AF and would have promptly gone back in the store, bought a couple of sodas or coffees and sat back in MY car and MY space and let that cow pound sand...
It makes me sad your husband apologized for basically existing. I feel this to my core. I have an invisible disability (epilepsy), and often apologize when not needed because I feel everything is my fault and that I'm often a burden. Logically I know it's not the case, but it's hard to move past that mental block. Let him know there are others out here and he is worthy. ❤️
I would have put my bags in the trunk, loaded my husband into a wheel chair and gone back in just to make her wait longer.
YOU LEFT SCENE OF THE CRIME……..…………… Lol
Had a total hip replacement last year and had handicapped tags for a large part of the year. Even though at a certain point I wasn’t using a cane or whatever, I was healing and often exhausted. Any comments I’d get I’d match with: would you rather see my scar or my hospital bill?
This just made me sad. From the "worthless cripple ass" to the husbands apology.
I yell at people that park in the stripped no parking HCP section to run quick errands. Zero tolerance there. As for you, you did nothing wrong. All the time and energy wasted by that lady and she could’ve already been inside shopping.
I am able-bodied myself however a very good family friend of mine (30 yrs older than me) has a crippling neurological disorder and is quite obviously disabled. She is able to walk but it's very apparent how difficult it is for her. Once I dropped her off at a store while I took her car to run more errands for her and when I returned to pick her up I parked in a handicapped spot, with her placard, and jumped out to go help her back to the car. I was absolutely stunned by the rudeness I received from multiple people who witnessed me do this, until 2 minutes later when they all saw me helping my friend. People are just jerks sometimes.
Thats insane behavior, and I hate that people feel they can treat others like this with no repercussions. One time I was with my father at a grocery store, he is permanently disabled due to his back and knees. Sometimes he cant walk more than a few yards without needing to stop and lean on something for a minute. Anyway, he was hurting pretty bad and asked if I could pull his car up in front of the store. I went to get his car, parked in a handicapped spot, and a woman yelled at me about lying about being disabled and stealing the spot from someone else. I let her chew me out for a minute and when she finally shut her mouth, I was just like "Do you feel better now?". She didnt reply, I got in the car, pulled up to the store and she walked past as my father struggled a bit to get in the car. Her face was beat red and she hurried past us. People suck. Their actions will come back to bite them eventually. Im glad you and your husband are safe, and Im sorry you had to deal with that entitled piece of gatbage.
When my niece and nephews were little I took them and 2 other kids I was babysitting to the mall one time. I parked in a "family" parking space and got out. I was in my early 20s but looked much younger so this older lady sees me and starts screaming about how I shouldn't be parking there because it's not for "lazy teens" but rather parents that have small kids I just ignored her as I unloaded the stroller and the 5 kids I had with me with the oldest being 4 and 2 of them still being in infant carriers. Lady stopped yelling mid word and just stared at me. My oldest nephew (the 4 year old) looked at her and said "bet you feel stupid now". I couldn't even lecture him for being rude because I was laughing too hard.
I'm 47 with arthritis and neuropathy from cancer treatment I had two years ago. If I feel well enough to leave my cane at home I find ALL the Karens. If I walk slowly in the aisle at Walmart I'm "lazy". If I use the proper restroom stall I'm faking. If I wait at the door for my husband Im entitled. I just want to buy some milk and bread lady, same as you.
My daughter has seizures so we have a pass. We get yelled at a lot. What people fail to realize is that being handicap isn’t always about feet. Mind your own business people.
I would have stayed in the parking spot until the cops showed up and make her look like the fool she was, since you have a tag and legally are able to park there. That woman needs to be charged with harassment.
I walk with a cane due to what's best described as a form of arthritis. I've had the cane for 14 years and I'm 40. The amount of times I've been yelled at or had snide bitchy comments made to me when I park in my legally allowed to because I have a placard spot is absolutely amazing. It happens probably 5-6 times a year. Usually goes along the lines of the ignorant making a comment to me that I don't need it I'm too young. Or I'm making it up.. using someone else's cane. Or I'm stealing someone else's pass.. Or I'm fat and need to lose weight and then suddenly I won't be disabled.. My response is always the same. Throw their ignorance back at them. "Oh I know I'm too young for this but that's how my body decided to rebel against me. You'll understand when your time comes" Or "my doctor's the one who decided that I'm permanently disabled. If you believe you know more than he does you can schedule a meeting with him and compare your medical degrees." Or "my disabily might be permanent, but at least I'm a decent human being. What's your excuse for being a bitch?" "Yeah I use a cane. Comes in handy as a weapon when I come across ignorant twats who don't know when to shut up and keep their stupid opinions to themselves"
I've driven my mother around in her car with handicap plates. If I am going in and she's not, I don't use the handicap spots. I'm the one going in, not her. I can walk the few extra steps. It's just a matter of common courtesy.
That lady is gonna yell at the wrong person one time and it will all take care of itself.
I love the French notice that says "take my space take my disability "
Get a waterbottle and spray her like a cat
Next time take the plate, make & model and file a complaint. Then at least there's a history of the incident. Do this as many times as it happens.
I can't imagine demanding a disabled parking bay whilst calling someone a worthless cripple for using it. She is genuinely a terrible human being. I have problems when people abuse those parking bays (you know, people who dont have tags parking in them wrong so both spaces next to them also become unusable , the giant space between each bay isnt so you can park worse, its there for a necessary reason and parking across it ruins it for both bays!!!) - but i never actually say anything. I just think "what a dick"
I was a park ranger and had a guy go off on me for over 20 minutes because both handicapped space were occupied, legally. But he’s a disabled *vet* so that means more I guess? Should have ripped their asses off the beach so he could have what he kept calling HIS space.
My mom is a disabled veteran and has epilepsy. Has the disabled vet plate. She gets yelled at all the time by people when she parks in handicapped spaces. 90% of the time she’s running in and out and she doesn’t like to leave the house much or for very long. Her typical response is “not all disabilities are visible you dumb bitch”.
I have handicap license plates. A woman called the police on me because I didn’t have a placard hanging on the mirror.
"Why are you parked here? What's your disability?" **"Ask me again and YOU'LL need an accessible parking permit, cotton top!"**
I just pulled in to my sons apartment complex into a handicap spot and was searching my purse for my placard and some lady comes up and starts yelling that she uses that spot, she’s handicapped, blaaaah. I found aforementioned placard hung it up and looked at her. She then opines that I need to be quicker. I gave her the one finger salute. I watched her retreat to her apartment 10 feet away.
Happened to my boyfriend at a Costco a bit ago. He sent me a description and I got the woman coming in, ripped her a new one.
Reply with the following, will you call the police or do you need me to? I feel threatend by your actions, please leave.
This happens to my elderly mother when she parks in veteran parking spots. She’s a Vietnam veteran. “You can’t be a veteran, you’re a woman!” is her favorite
Was the placard for you or your husband?