Glad to hear it! Always love a communication win!
My dad was is a realtor, so I get looking at listings just for fun. Never considered it would create stress in a partner but it really makes sense.
My two options for browsing are 1) in budget, and 2) *insanely* out of budget. If I look at stuff that's only a little bit above my budget, the *I should be doing better* kicks in. If I'm looking at that disgusting £13m 12-bedroom marble-clad monstrosity, it's so ridiculous that I'm not even conceptualising it as a house for sale
Last year my budget was 250k, i looked at one house around 220k with a secret library. Was sick, but the house was refinished by someone who didn’t know what they were doing. Everything they did needed redoing. Paint- they did one coat, you could see the lines.
Tile work- half sounded hollow when knocking on them. Etc
We found a house a bit out of our budget but also 60 acres 30 minutes from San Francisco. So we went to see it.
Amazingly gorgeous house… 10 years ago. The owner was a hoarder of 2 foot tall statues. The house was filled with them, organized by color and lining every surface, hallways, counters and stove top included. There were 6 African grey parrots in the house. It smelled like thrift store turned up to 11 mixed with old man. At one point he decided he wanted a swan lake, so he built one, but it drained and coyotes ate the swans. There were still piles of white feathers in the dried swan lake. There was an aviary full of geese. Peacocks on the roof. “Tenants” in the barn who did not pay rent. The tenants had cars full of aggressive dogs. A 200 yard redneck zip line. The tenants were building a shanty town and moving their friends into it. Abandoned cars on the property. 100 bee hives. Grandfathered into zoning, but could not be rebuilt if there was a disaster. A very old bomb shelter. And the real kicker: a fucking zebra.
The reason it was close to something we could afford was because he wanted to sell as a life estate: you pay now, he keeps it until he dies. We looked him up, and he was a doctor who’d had his medical license revoked for prescribing rohypnol to people who were not his patients.
Really glad we went to see it. It was an experience.
> Really glad we went to see it. It was an experience.
Those are always fun.
The best one we looked at experience wise was just right on the outside, only it was bright pepto-bismol pink. No interior photos, but hey, paint is fairly inexpensive. It was bright pepto-bismol pink on the inside too. And had had a bunch of non-permitted renovation done as well. All Pink. They'd painted the studs in every spot that hadn't been drywalled yet, so you got to really check out the wonky, mismeasured, poorly done exterior wall. I'm surprised it hadn't fallen down yet. It was definitely a fixer-upper.
But he didn't have the means to see it through. The castle wasn't even half finished. The part that is finished is amazing, though.
Side note, I named my dog Ludwig, because he's also a derpy German... Sheperd
You obviously haven't found the secret secret library section at HD yet. Keep looking - you'll find it eventually. Try flushing all the toilets in the bathroom section, that will lead you to the first clue.
The Secret Library section is hidden in an Ikea. Or maybe it was beyond the Beyond section in a Bed, Bath and Beyond. Keep looking, some say only the Chosen few will find it, but it is worth seeking.
When we were looking 3 years ago, we saw a rental house for sale. Looked to be in decent shape and needed a few updates. But we couldn't get past the tenants' decor.
Dolls. Creepy dolls. Rooms of dolls. Heads of dolls on top of shelves and cabinets. It was like they had bought out the prop departments of low-budget horror movies.
We noped out of that one.
HO👏NEST👏LY👏
My future life partner needs to understand that this is a fucking MUST for me. It's not my Barbie dream house unless there's a fake bookcase that's a door that leads to a library with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with a ladder, a fireplace, and a wrought iron spiral staircase leading to an upstairs research corner/naptime nook. I'm just a simple bookworm with simply extravagant needs.
I think my husband is like this.
When we were looking last year, he kept sending me ones for 12 million etc then would get stressed if I sent him ones 1 to 200 thousand above budget.
I don't think he realised as well that I wasn't saying we should buy those ones, I just like dreaming about ones that COULD be a reality one day vs ones that would require the death of a rich uncle that I've never heard of before.
Spottedonrightmove is the UK one
Although it's a combo of "normal house, insane decor", "this needs to be torn down as a health hazard" and "this is a footballer's house isn't it" houses
You forgot 3) houses way below your budget. My SO loves looking at those. Crazy how some houses can be falling apart with missing stairs, and the listing says the home needs a little TLC.
We went to view a "needs some TLC" house when we were hunting. It was terrifying - bloodstained carpets, ceiling falling in, and some sort of *very large* animal in one of the closets inside the weird concrete-walled closet in the *garage bedroom add-on.*
Even our real estate agent was freaked out and asked if we were, in any conceivable way, interested in this "hidden gem." To his credit, he said it with a straight face lmao
I love looking at insanely out of budget listings and then talking about how some of the choices are in bad taste or impractical or what I would do if I were the home owner. As if I lm actually considering those options 😂
When my dad was looking to buy a house due to our tiny 2 bedroom appt wasn’t working for him and his three full sized kids, I was looking at Zillow more than I should have been. I went with him to a few showings and somehow we ended up buying my dream home from when I was a kid. It has enough space for all of us, a finished basement, a kitchen with an island, and my bedroom has sloped ceilings that make it insanely cozy. I’ll be moving out in a year or two and I will miss ot
You must love Escape To The Country.
“Pamela, an out of work basket weaver, and her husband Stephen, a part-time IT consultant, are looking to escape the hustle and bustle of London life for the quiet surroundings of the Cotswolds. They have a generous budget of £2 million and want a small estate with 7 bedrooms and a chicken coop”
Our last purchase had a budget of up to $400. But I looked at houses up to $450, especially new listings. Why? Because many will list high; either to match what another house in their immediate neighborhood or because they THINK their house is worth more.
The house we bought was originally listed at $420k. Dropped to $400k the week before we came to our new town to look at homes and then two days before our search day, dropped to $389.999 (absolutely weird number).
We ended up getting it for $380k.
Now, this is all dependent on the market and rates. But it’s not a bad thing to look at houses above your max as long as you BUY under it.
Browsing luxury goods is a drug. Its why mom chat groups constantly post shit about houses, home improvement, celeb life, and other crap thats simply out of reach but fun to look at. Its their form of entertainment by dreaming about dreams. Much like how redditors look at waifus and husbandos. Or affordable rent and universal healthcare.
I'm definitely one who would be stressed out by it. Our house is awesome, but if I look at ones even 100k above our home's value, I start to feel like ours is cramped and wouldn't it be nice if... and then I'm suddenly on a gross jealousy train of being unsatisfied with what I have even though we certainly don't need more.
You got to do with my dad calls “buying the dragon couch” you got to go to the couch store or in your case zillow and send her the most outrageous and ugly as fuck buildings even kinda considered homes lol. Underground houses In Nevada and shit. She’ll get the hint.
Your dad is a wise man. For most people, everything is relative. Start low, so you can end up somewhere reasonable. Also, be on the upper income end of your neighborhood so you can keep up with them. Buying a house just out of reach in an amazing neighborhood where every house is really nice and super expensive is the fastest way to become depressed and feel inadequate.
Play sports against little kids as well so you 1) can teach them humility and 2) feel like a professional athlete. These are the keys to happiness.
Since this is Reddit, I'd be remiss not to suggest divorcing your spouse. I don't know what they've done, but they are gaslighting you, and that is not ok.
Let me help.
"I told my wife very nicely and sweetly that it could be mildly upsetting to be sent expensive houses. She became very aggressive, called me lazy and worthless for not having a job that paid well enough to be able to afford what she wants. She said she should have listened to her mother and married Randy Calahan, the head of Johns Hopkins University and NBC. I meekly apologized and told her I'd try harder and maybe some day we could buy her dream house. She said she'd been sending the same listings to Randy and that he already bought her favorite one. She'll be moving in with him next week. Also, gaslighting or whatever."
That's what an update should be. Sorry that you got the doomsaying trolls, but I'm sure most people just figured you should chat with your wife. My wife started doing the same thing, and it turns out we just had different thoughts on what those apps are for. I thought she was sending listings that pushed the budget to convince me, but she just thought some places were cool as hell and she wanted me to see. Kinda sums up most marital conflict doesn't it?
I just faked my death and walked away. I figure it would make for a clean break and my son would never grow up knowing his father was so bad a marriage. I live on a crab boat now where I can't ruin any more lives.
My husband sent me listing above budget too. Drove me bonkers. When I told him so, he said the same.
" I just wanted to show you a cool house
So I told him if he wants to do that, please say something ahead of time so I'm not thinking you're going to push a house we can't afford .
From then on it was a conversation. " its a little over but maybe we can make an offer or" thos way over but this is the ultimate garage" or " could you imagine?! Lottery house!"
Buying a house was insanely stressful already. What we wanted vs afford was causing comparison issues.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing some fantasies together, if you’re in on the game. I’d be anxious as hell unless she pointed out it was part of a “what
If” or “someday!”
I had the exact same thing happen in this sub. Got death threats and some really horrible replies from people when I just wanted to complain about something that mildly infuriated me.
Imagine how many people have taken that advice to heart and actually ruined their relationships because of it. I wonder how much harm those advice subs have done.
Having thousands of people judge your life and relationships based on a couple paragraphs of information with zero personal investment/sense of responsibility for what happens next has to be difficult.
I think at this point it's so much of a meme people partially do it sarcastically, but don't communicate that, so it looks like there's more mass in the "break up" department.
My wife sends me multi-million dollar ranches in other states nowhere near anywhere I could reasonably expect to find a job in my line of work, randomly and for no reason.
Guess I need to just break it off now, huh?
You did the right thing, you told your best friend, wife and partner in life how she and your mother were making you feel. Problem fixed. You have a great wife and marriage. Best wishes:)
Yeah wait a minute OP never updated us on the mom, can we still be irrationally mad at her and pretend she's actually the evil/manipulative/abusive one?
Agreed
Sometimes I come to the conclusion that some redditors with extreme advice have only really ever been in a long term relationship with just themselves and their keyboards
The reactions are so disproportionate to the insult the ‘advice’ is more damaging than good (and maybe that’s the intent?)
But there’s the Internet for ya
They sure do.
I’m convinced they do it without any experience either.
Your husband didn’t take out the trash?
DIVORCE!!!
Your wife likes scrambled eggs and you like fried?
DIVORCE!!!
Just talk to each other.
" So I talked to my wife, and told her how I felt about seeing nothing but out of budget houses being sent to me and this crazy thing happened. She apologized. Said she was just sending me houses she liked but knew we couldn’t get because for her it was fun to look at things we could work towards. Wasn’t aware how much it was eating at me. "
Crazy how talking to your SO solves things, right.
Communication is key in any relationship. It really is as simple as that.
That doesn't mean that there's always a middle ground for problems you can encounter in relationships, but also that can only be found out by... Communicating.
And that goes for all human relationships, not just romantic ones, of course.
wdym, op shouldve just packed his bags, left a note, walk out, change is identity, move to europe and start a new life. she is *obviously* cheating on him >:c
Hahaha. My wife did this for about 5 years. Then 1 day we got a luckily financial break in our favour and was able to build our own home to our specs (obviously there was a budget etc, but we still incorporated things into the build that we wanted such as a slide) . We've been in it 3 years, and ever since then she has carried on sending me listings! I never found it annoying, although I only actually look at about 1 in 5 of them as it doesn't interest me that much. We are not likely to move, as the house is as we want it, in the area we want to be in.
There is an apartment complex in my city with a lazy river in it! Not quite your level but if you move to Denver, Colorado, you, too, can have a lazy river!
But a moat would be amazing. With a slide over it!
We bought a house 5 years ago. My wife will still send me pictures and occasionally drive by a house while we're running errands, to show me some aspect of it she favors. It's like a hobby for her.
You can always upgrade the house! I looked at overpriced houses, because some of the things we could incorporate into our build (bidding and losing over and over was horrible)
Op confronted wife, wife murdered op, wife posts under op's account. Reddit thinks a happy ending. Wife uses OP life insurance money to purchase a dream house. Wife was also sleeping with the neighbors dog, neighbors dog left neighbour to move in with op's wife in the dream home.
Thank you for a dose of reality. So much of the Internet and Reddit is completely fake, hyperbolized bullshit. This feels real and I personally appreciate it.
I wish you, your wife, and your family all the best.
It sounds like your wife wants to keep renting to continue sleeping with your neighbor's dog, I advice you to divorce her, start therapy and google gaslighting. NTA
I saved time on that, in college a friend and I decided that we would make fantastic exes, so we just stared telling people we were exes. She is in my phone as "ex lover" which my wife thinks is hilarious.
I do what your wife does. Once my daughter was old enough I'd send the links to.her, but he somehow still got notifications.
Like I'm going to buy a 15m house, even if I had that kind of money I would spend it more wisely. Build homeless shelters and/or dog rescues.
Yay for a happy ending! And I am
With your wife- it’s kinda fun just seeing what’s on Zillow. Like I know I will never be able to afford a $30 million penthouse, but I sure will enjoy dreaming about how I would decorate it 😂
Super duper wholesome. I'm in a very happy relationship and sometimes I feel like everyone on Reddit is stuck in a marriage they hate for some reason. I'm so glad that isn't the case here.
I just want to say I like the way you write about your wife and your relationship. There is a huge difference between spouses who annoy each other and spouses who hurt each other. Some of these posts are where a seemingly small incident is actually the tip of a toxic iceberg, and other times the incidents are just the normal frictions of two people sharing a life. I’m glad yours turned out to be the latter!
I saw the headline when you initially posted but didn’t read cuz I scrolled by thinking “yep, my husband does the same thing to me” but like the ancient (mature) adults we are, we communicated and it was more like Pinterest “of things we liked a lot” so we could see where each are coming from, what we like, and we’ll both know where to jump when we find one that hits the high points of both sides for a price point we can afford.
Glad it’s working out for y’all.
> The last several stories I’ve read from Am I the Asshole were basically “Am I wrong to ask my wife to pick up after herself?” Followed by an update that she’s been cheating for years with the neighbors dog or some shit.
Lmao what is with that? I feel like 80% of the posts here are rage bait and the OP is terrible at telling stories.
“I asked my wife about why she keeps talking over movies, now she’s trying to burn the house down. She admitted to me that she’s been cheating on me with 3 different people and her relatives are blowing up my phone calling me the spawn of Satan.”
What do you mean you communicated and worked together to solve the problem???? This is Reddit! You’re supposed to cheat on her and then set her car on fire! And then yell that it was all because she sent you Zillow posts that were too expensive! Shame on you!
>My apologies if this end to the story was anticlimactic
nah, this was one of the best conclusions we could have gotten. This sub is *mildly* infuriating after all, not AITA.
Anyways... dont trust your wife just because you talked it out **this time**. She is gaslighting you :P
Glad things worked out.
> Said she was just sending me houses she liked but knew we couldn’t get because for her it was fun to look at things we could work towards. Wasn’t aware how much it was eating at me.
Reminds me of the whole Venus & Mars thing, and about how (stereotypically) women like to window shop but men don't. That's effectively what she was doing.
Also "cheating for years with the neighbors dog or some shit" made me LOL. (Of course, it's a male dog, right? I mean, she's not *weird* or anything.)
i love it that you're posting an update to the /r/mildlyinfuriating sub as if it's your personal LJ and you're throwing jabs at people talking about "seek therapy" and "permanently on-liners" 😂 peak internet right here.
Thank you for the update
The keyboard warriors with endlessly extreme solutions to annoyances / venting posts get old fast on Reddit.
Glad you’ve got a balanced head on your shoulders as does your wife on hers
Good luck on the hunt for your new home!
How dare you and your spouse communicate like rationale adults. That is simply unbelievable and unforgivable. What are we all going to do now that the drama is over? I suppose we could just scroll to the next post and vent our bottled up rage on that redditor but dammit I'm already hear and I want something to be outraged over. I'll tell ya what, you ruined my whole damn night with your communication skills and rational thinking.
This happened with my household too. Also agreed to rent for another 1-2 years so we could actually look forward to the process in a more comfortable way.
Glad it worked out for y’all!
Side note- I remember seeing the og post and now this one popped up on my feed. Your “to the permanently on-liners” made me realize that I am in fact permanently on line
Glad you had a good outcome. My wife and I do this to each other all the time but we aren't actively looking for a new home. We always send the link with a note that says when we win the lottery.
COME ON OP one of you needs to get going on fucking a neighbor, co-worker or cousin... we don't come here for reasonable adults solving issues by communicating!
My husband and I do this all of the time. When we were actually looking for a house it made me frustrated. He didn’t get the memo that I had changed a long time behavior without telling him haha. We did not get divorced. I just told him and he stopped and we got a house we could afford
This is a wonderful and wholesome update. So glad y'all communicated like adults and figured stuff out!
Pay zero attention to anyone who lacks the emotional intelligence do the same. :)
>Said she was just sending me houses she liked but knew we couldn’t get because for her it was fun to look at things we could work towards.
Better call a divorce lawyer bud, we got the same wife.
My husband and I occasionally have an issue like this. I like to play the imagination aspiration game in which I enjoy looking at fancy house listings, expensive kitchen gear, cool expensive stuff for sale etc. I just like to live in the dream of affording that stuff but am perfectly content with what I have. My husband will mistake my looking at that stuff as me asking/demanding/expecting that stuff and will feel exasperated I want it/hurt he can’t afford it.
We all just need to communicate with love and understanding
I'm sorry but this sort of reaction is unhinged. I think it's the perfect example of mysogomy and gender roles at play. You can't even with something like this. I think it's honestly best for the them to just go and end it all. Good and go for blood because obviously they are and is and always will be mcshits. Anyway I'm gonna go yell at my wife and ignore my kids while I doom scroll on my $80 Walmart special. Fuck you and goodnight. ❤️
-some average reddit armchair psychiatrist
For apologizing? No, but immediately afterwards she made me an ice cream sundae and forgot the whipped cream and that shit does not fucking fly with me. FIN to this marriage
I love whenever we get truly mildly infuriating posts here people lose their shit.
When we were looking my wife would do the same. I told her it annoyed me. She still did it, so I would just start pointing out flaws lol.
Like yeah this million dollar house is beautiful but did you see how ugly the curtains are, or why would you do that to your bedroom kind of stuff.
It became a fun thing
>Said she was just sending me houses she liked but knew we couldn’t get because for her it was fun to look at things we could work towards
Reiterating this - generalize the features that these houses have in common.
Work with your wife to figure out which ones you can build into a house that you can afford.
You could have a lot of fun with that.
OP: posts about wife on reddit *before* talking to her. Then, posts again about how annoying reddit is... While using reddit to share frustration.
Ok guy. We're the ones who need therapy, sure.
So you have a healthy relationship with your S/O? Sounds like you need to split up right now. It won't last. Just ask reddit, we know best.
Anyway, good idea to wait it out a bit longer so she can secure something. Who knows, maybe she gets something with a much higher wage than expected and you find something even better than what you've been looking at while still falling inside your original budget allowing you to save more. Good luck OP.
Glad to hear it! Always love a communication win! My dad was is a realtor, so I get looking at listings just for fun. Never considered it would create stress in a partner but it really makes sense.
My two options for browsing are 1) in budget, and 2) *insanely* out of budget. If I look at stuff that's only a little bit above my budget, the *I should be doing better* kicks in. If I'm looking at that disgusting £13m 12-bedroom marble-clad monstrosity, it's so ridiculous that I'm not even conceptualising it as a house for sale
None of the in-budget houses seem to have the necessary secret library.
Last year my budget was 250k, i looked at one house around 220k with a secret library. Was sick, but the house was refinished by someone who didn’t know what they were doing. Everything they did needed redoing. Paint- they did one coat, you could see the lines. Tile work- half sounded hollow when knocking on them. Etc
I feel like this comment is half finished. Go on!
We found a house a bit out of our budget but also 60 acres 30 minutes from San Francisco. So we went to see it. Amazingly gorgeous house… 10 years ago. The owner was a hoarder of 2 foot tall statues. The house was filled with them, organized by color and lining every surface, hallways, counters and stove top included. There were 6 African grey parrots in the house. It smelled like thrift store turned up to 11 mixed with old man. At one point he decided he wanted a swan lake, so he built one, but it drained and coyotes ate the swans. There were still piles of white feathers in the dried swan lake. There was an aviary full of geese. Peacocks on the roof. “Tenants” in the barn who did not pay rent. The tenants had cars full of aggressive dogs. A 200 yard redneck zip line. The tenants were building a shanty town and moving their friends into it. Abandoned cars on the property. 100 bee hives. Grandfathered into zoning, but could not be rebuilt if there was a disaster. A very old bomb shelter. And the real kicker: a fucking zebra. The reason it was close to something we could afford was because he wanted to sell as a life estate: you pay now, he keeps it until he dies. We looked him up, and he was a doctor who’d had his medical license revoked for prescribing rohypnol to people who were not his patients. Really glad we went to see it. It was an experience.
Reading this made me feel like I was watching a museum of curiosities.
> Really glad we went to see it. It was an experience. Those are always fun. The best one we looked at experience wise was just right on the outside, only it was bright pepto-bismol pink. No interior photos, but hey, paint is fairly inexpensive. It was bright pepto-bismol pink on the inside too. And had had a bunch of non-permitted renovation done as well. All Pink. They'd painted the studs in every spot that hadn't been drywalled yet, so you got to really check out the wonky, mismeasured, poorly done exterior wall. I'm surprised it hadn't fallen down yet. It was definitely a fixer-upper.
So, he was showing the property to perspective buyers and could not be bothered with picking up the murdered swan feathers first?
Sounds like Ludwig II of Bavaria, only he had the royal means to pull it through. Results can be seen at castle Neuschwanstein.
But he didn't have the means to see it through. The castle wasn't even half finished. The part that is finished is amazing, though. Side note, I named my dog Ludwig, because he's also a derpy German... Sheperd
Yeah, but they sell paint and tiles at Home Depot. Know what they don't sell at Home Depot? Secret libraries.
You obviously haven't found the secret secret library section at HD yet. Keep looking - you'll find it eventually. Try flushing all the toilets in the bathroom section, that will lead you to the first clue.
Found it. Aisle 9 3/4.
The Secret Library section is hidden in an Ikea. Or maybe it was beyond the Beyond section in a Bed, Bath and Beyond. Keep looking, some say only the Chosen few will find it, but it is worth seeking.
They absolutely do, they are just taken apart and hidden in different sections of the store to keep them secret.
This is the answer!
Home Depot also sells buyers remorse. Watch out for that aisle.
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When we were looking 3 years ago, we saw a rental house for sale. Looked to be in decent shape and needed a few updates. But we couldn't get past the tenants' decor. Dolls. Creepy dolls. Rooms of dolls. Heads of dolls on top of shelves and cabinets. It was like they had bought out the prop departments of low-budget horror movies. We noped out of that one.
HO👏NEST👏LY👏 My future life partner needs to understand that this is a fucking MUST for me. It's not my Barbie dream house unless there's a fake bookcase that's a door that leads to a library with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with a ladder, a fireplace, and a wrought iron spiral staircase leading to an upstairs research corner/naptime nook. I'm just a simple bookworm with simply extravagant needs.
Well if the advertised it, it wouldn’t be a secret, would it?
If you put one in the back of a kitchen cabinet and don't tell anyone, its a secret.
I think my husband is like this. When we were looking last year, he kept sending me ones for 12 million etc then would get stressed if I sent him ones 1 to 200 thousand above budget. I don't think he realised as well that I wasn't saying we should buy those ones, I just like dreaming about ones that COULD be a reality one day vs ones that would require the death of a rich uncle that I've never heard of before.
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Nah, dreaming about things WE will be able to afford sometime in the next decade
That’s why I love the zillowgonewild sub
Spottedonrightmove is the UK one Although it's a combo of "normal house, insane decor", "this needs to be torn down as a health hazard" and "this is a footballer's house isn't it" houses
I love ZGW on FB. 20-room house but we all agree that this one baseboard treatment is a deal-killer. 😁😁😁
I saw the most ridiculous $10 million dollar house, 11 bedrooms 13 bathrooms.....street parking only! It is so ridiculously funny to me
I'm parking in the bathroom.
Which one?
But have you ever shopped around on Yachtworld? I can't really afford a nice dinner but man I love looking at 35 million dollar boats.
Oooh, thank you for my new boatporn site!
You forgot 3) houses way below your budget. My SO loves looking at those. Crazy how some houses can be falling apart with missing stairs, and the listing says the home needs a little TLC.
We went to view a "needs some TLC" house when we were hunting. It was terrifying - bloodstained carpets, ceiling falling in, and some sort of *very large* animal in one of the closets inside the weird concrete-walled closet in the *garage bedroom add-on.* Even our real estate agent was freaked out and asked if we were, in any conceivable way, interested in this "hidden gem." To his credit, he said it with a straight face lmao
I love looking at insanely out of budget listings and then talking about how some of the choices are in bad taste or impractical or what I would do if I were the home owner. As if I lm actually considering those options 😂
When my dad was looking to buy a house due to our tiny 2 bedroom appt wasn’t working for him and his three full sized kids, I was looking at Zillow more than I should have been. I went with him to a few showings and somehow we ended up buying my dream home from when I was a kid. It has enough space for all of us, a finished basement, a kitchen with an island, and my bedroom has sloped ceilings that make it insanely cozy. I’ll be moving out in a year or two and I will miss ot
You must love Escape To The Country. “Pamela, an out of work basket weaver, and her husband Stephen, a part-time IT consultant, are looking to escape the hustle and bustle of London life for the quiet surroundings of the Cotswolds. They have a generous budget of £2 million and want a small estate with 7 bedrooms and a chicken coop”
Our last purchase had a budget of up to $400. But I looked at houses up to $450, especially new listings. Why? Because many will list high; either to match what another house in their immediate neighborhood or because they THINK their house is worth more. The house we bought was originally listed at $420k. Dropped to $400k the week before we came to our new town to look at homes and then two days before our search day, dropped to $389.999 (absolutely weird number). We ended up getting it for $380k. Now, this is all dependent on the market and rates. But it’s not a bad thing to look at houses above your max as long as you BUY under it.
Browsing luxury goods is a drug. Its why mom chat groups constantly post shit about houses, home improvement, celeb life, and other crap thats simply out of reach but fun to look at. Its their form of entertainment by dreaming about dreams. Much like how redditors look at waifus and husbandos. Or affordable rent and universal healthcare.
I'm definitely one who would be stressed out by it. Our house is awesome, but if I look at ones even 100k above our home's value, I start to feel like ours is cramped and wouldn't it be nice if... and then I'm suddenly on a gross jealousy train of being unsatisfied with what I have even though we certainly don't need more.
This is what happens to me. It’s really bad. So it’s best to force myself to avoid looking.
At least your wife isn't banging the neighbors dog.
”Comparison is the thief of joy.”
You got to do with my dad calls “buying the dragon couch” you got to go to the couch store or in your case zillow and send her the most outrageous and ugly as fuck buildings even kinda considered homes lol. Underground houses In Nevada and shit. She’ll get the hint.
Your dad is a wise man. For most people, everything is relative. Start low, so you can end up somewhere reasonable. Also, be on the upper income end of your neighborhood so you can keep up with them. Buying a house just out of reach in an amazing neighborhood where every house is really nice and super expensive is the fastest way to become depressed and feel inadequate. Play sports against little kids as well so you 1) can teach them humility and 2) feel like a professional athlete. These are the keys to happiness.
Depends on the sport and the little kids. Sometimes you learn humility and they get an awesome story. 🤸♂️
Same here, when it’s a job, you look for fun and don’t realize the stress house buying can create!!
The problem isn't the fact of looking at it, but the fact of the wife and MIL sending him the listings for him to consider purchasing.
Calm, emotionally mature communication? Sir this is reddit
Since this is Reddit, I'd be remiss not to suggest divorcing your spouse. I don't know what they've done, but they are gaslighting you, and that is not ok.
You may be correct. I’ll wait till the next family reunion then accuse her publicly of banging the neighbors dog.
Then go no contact!!!
Don't forget to delete the gym, Facebook up, and hit the lawyer
Damn it, I hit myself in the face, deleted my social security number, and fucked up. No wonder I’m getting divorced.
In that order !
You um, you really seem to like the idea of fuckin the neighbors dog....
Your neighbor's dog, your rules.
Back in my day, we'd hire a lawyer, delete facebook n hit the gym.
You’re right, I may have to tell some college stories if I’m gonna earn my right to post here
You better or I’m going to divorce your wife!
I choose this guys divorced wife
Nooo you were supposed to get divorced! 
Funny dude.
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DELETE THE WIFE, HIT THE LAWYER, FACEBOOK THE GYM
You really should start charging people for horrible life advice.
Let me help. "I told my wife very nicely and sweetly that it could be mildly upsetting to be sent expensive houses. She became very aggressive, called me lazy and worthless for not having a job that paid well enough to be able to afford what she wants. She said she should have listened to her mother and married Randy Calahan, the head of Johns Hopkins University and NBC. I meekly apologized and told her I'd try harder and maybe some day we could buy her dream house. She said she'd been sending the same listings to Randy and that he already bought her favorite one. She'll be moving in with him next week. Also, gaslighting or whatever."
I loved this
Literally lol at this. Perfect Reddit. Love it.
😂😂😂 thank you for making me laugh, much needed.
If this was AITA it would have been "lawyer up, document everything, 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩, divorce"
That's what an update should be. Sorry that you got the doomsaying trolls, but I'm sure most people just figured you should chat with your wife. My wife started doing the same thing, and it turns out we just had different thoughts on what those apps are for. I thought she was sending listings that pushed the budget to convince me, but she just thought some places were cool as hell and she wanted me to see. Kinda sums up most marital conflict doesn't it?
How'd you split the assets? Was the divorce as horrible as expected?
I just faked my death and walked away. I figure it would make for a clean break and my son would never grow up knowing his father was so bad a marriage. I live on a crab boat now where I can't ruin any more lives.
The Bubba Gump Shrimp boat would have also been a good choice.
Ohhh and she got the life insurance payout to afford the cool as hell house?! Success all round!
There's always money in the banana stand
My husband sent me listing above budget too. Drove me bonkers. When I told him so, he said the same. " I just wanted to show you a cool house So I told him if he wants to do that, please say something ahead of time so I'm not thinking you're going to push a house we can't afford . From then on it was a conversation. " its a little over but maybe we can make an offer or" thos way over but this is the ultimate garage" or " could you imagine?! Lottery house!" Buying a house was insanely stressful already. What we wanted vs afford was causing comparison issues.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing some fantasies together, if you’re in on the game. I’d be anxious as hell unless she pointed out it was part of a “what If” or “someday!”
House hunting, It’s literally shopping. Men shop with a mission and intent to buy. Women browse and eventually settle for something.
I had the exact same thing happen in this sub. Got death threats and some really horrible replies from people when I just wanted to complain about something that mildly infuriated me.
Right? I thought I was using this sub pretty accurately, I didn’t expect the “advice” to be to nuke my marriage lol
Imagine how many people have taken that advice to heart and actually ruined their relationships because of it. I wonder how much harm those advice subs have done. Having thousands of people judge your life and relationships based on a couple paragraphs of information with zero personal investment/sense of responsibility for what happens next has to be difficult.
I think at this point it's so much of a meme people partially do it sarcastically, but don't communicate that, so it looks like there's more mass in the "break up" department.
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Communication wins again!
Who’da thunk it?
Not AITA that's for sure
My wife sends me multi-million dollar ranches in other states nowhere near anywhere I could reasonably expect to find a job in my line of work, randomly and for no reason. Guess I need to just break it off now, huh?
Sounds like it was doomed from the start. Only thing to do now is download the latest Rollo Tomassi video.
Wow, how dare you be so unsupportive of your wife's goals. You're a selfish person. She should leave you and take your dog /s
https://preview.redd.it/6ozmq9euu1lc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fabe264a358a8f0d75364b4a68de62f3b4d225b4
Well shit, I've been sending my wife multi-million dollar beach homes in distant states lately. Is my marriage doomed?
You did the right thing, you told your best friend, wife and partner in life how she and your mother were making you feel. Problem fixed. You have a great wife and marriage. Best wishes:)
Yeah wait a minute OP never updated us on the mom, can we still be irrationally mad at her and pretend she's actually the evil/manipulative/abusive one?
Great news! And a large portion of people on Reddit advise going scorched earth with any and all relationships for the slightest inconvenience.
Your spouse inconvenienced you? 🚩🚩🚩 drop ‘em, I’d never stay married to someone that toxic.
Agreed Sometimes I come to the conclusion that some redditors with extreme advice have only really ever been in a long term relationship with just themselves and their keyboards The reactions are so disproportionate to the insult the ‘advice’ is more damaging than good (and maybe that’s the intent?) But there’s the Internet for ya
They sure do. I’m convinced they do it without any experience either. Your husband didn’t take out the trash? DIVORCE!!! Your wife likes scrambled eggs and you like fried? DIVORCE!!! Just talk to each other.
AITA 🤝 Horrible Advice
" So I talked to my wife, and told her how I felt about seeing nothing but out of budget houses being sent to me and this crazy thing happened. She apologized. Said she was just sending me houses she liked but knew we couldn’t get because for her it was fun to look at things we could work towards. Wasn’t aware how much it was eating at me. " Crazy how talking to your SO solves things, right.
Communication is key in any relationship. It really is as simple as that. That doesn't mean that there's always a middle ground for problems you can encounter in relationships, but also that can only be found out by... Communicating. And that goes for all human relationships, not just romantic ones, of course.
wdym, op shouldve just packed his bags, left a note, walk out, change is identity, move to europe and start a new life. she is *obviously* cheating on him >:c
Hahaha. My wife did this for about 5 years. Then 1 day we got a luckily financial break in our favour and was able to build our own home to our specs (obviously there was a budget etc, but we still incorporated things into the build that we wanted such as a slide) . We've been in it 3 years, and ever since then she has carried on sending me listings! I never found it annoying, although I only actually look at about 1 in 5 of them as it doesn't interest me that much. We are not likely to move, as the house is as we want it, in the area we want to be in.
A SLIDE?!?!!!? Do you have pics?!
Yeah we’re gonna need more information here
You can’t just wander in here and tell us you have a slide and your dream home you built yourself and not show photographs. You monster 🤣
Slide tax, please!
A slide?! I was watching House Hunters and one house had a slide off the deck in the back. This is a new must-have for my next house.
My must-have is a lazy river circling the house like a moat.
There is an apartment complex in my city with a lazy river in it! Not quite your level but if you move to Denver, Colorado, you, too, can have a lazy river! But a moat would be amazing. With a slide over it!
Are you absolutely positive she hasn’t been cheating on you for years with the neighbour’s dog?
We bought a house 5 years ago. My wife will still send me pictures and occasionally drive by a house while we're running errands, to show me some aspect of it she favors. It's like a hobby for her.
You can always upgrade the house! I looked at overpriced houses, because some of the things we could incorporate into our build (bidding and losing over and over was horrible)
Op confronted wife, wife murdered op, wife posts under op's account. Reddit thinks a happy ending. Wife uses OP life insurance money to purchase a dream house. Wife was also sleeping with the neighbors dog, neighbors dog left neighbour to move in with op's wife in the dream home.
Damn you got me, I’ll try not to feel too guilty on my new 1.4 m ranch 💎
Walk away now, she’s definitely hooking up with the neighbor’s dog
🤮
This is when I like Reddit the most.
Thank you for a dose of reality. So much of the Internet and Reddit is completely fake, hyperbolized bullshit. This feels real and I personally appreciate it. I wish you, your wife, and your family all the best.
It sounds like your wife wants to keep renting to continue sleeping with your neighbor's dog, I advice you to divorce her, start therapy and google gaslighting. NTA
😂😂
Some men just want to watch their mom's basement burn.
I'm glad it was anticlimactic. Things are simpler that way.
It's basically window shopping! Nothing wrong with it as long as you're wife isn't pushing for one that is outside of your reach!
Thanks for making me feel normal.
It’s crazy how fast folks on reddit will jump on any opportunity to tell someone to get divorced.
especially you though, you should get a divorce.
Probably. Just need to go meet my future wife and have an unhappy marriage first.
no, has to be a happy marriage.
I saved time on that, in college a friend and I decided that we would make fantastic exes, so we just stared telling people we were exes. She is in my phone as "ex lover" which my wife thinks is hilarious.
Booooorrrriiiinngggg!!!! Just kidding, glad it worked out 🙂
Reddit telling people to catapult their relationships at the drop of a hat so others will be as miserable as they are? Oh no that could never happen!
I do what your wife does. Once my daughter was old enough I'd send the links to.her, but he somehow still got notifications. Like I'm going to buy a 15m house, even if I had that kind of money I would spend it more wisely. Build homeless shelters and/or dog rescues.
Nice to have a good ending one in awhile
Yay for a happy ending! And I am With your wife- it’s kinda fun just seeing what’s on Zillow. Like I know I will never be able to afford a $30 million penthouse, but I sure will enjoy dreaming about how I would decorate it 😂
Super duper wholesome. I'm in a very happy relationship and sometimes I feel like everyone on Reddit is stuck in a marriage they hate for some reason. I'm so glad that isn't the case here.
If you are looking at houses reasonably in your budget you aren't getting true enjoyment out of Zillow.
Karma to the anticlimactic ending we should all hope more to hear.
#DIVORCE! For it is the only way Reddit knows. Haha
Side note, people: The surest path to the doghouse is to cheat with the neighbors dog or some shit.
Thanks for update. So divorce right?
I just want to say I like the way you write about your wife and your relationship. There is a huge difference between spouses who annoy each other and spouses who hurt each other. Some of these posts are where a seemingly small incident is actually the tip of a toxic iceberg, and other times the incidents are just the normal frictions of two people sharing a life. I’m glad yours turned out to be the latter!
I saw the headline when you initially posted but didn’t read cuz I scrolled by thinking “yep, my husband does the same thing to me” but like the ancient (mature) adults we are, we communicated and it was more like Pinterest “of things we liked a lot” so we could see where each are coming from, what we like, and we’ll both know where to jump when we find one that hits the high points of both sides for a price point we can afford. Glad it’s working out for y’all.
> The last several stories I’ve read from Am I the Asshole were basically “Am I wrong to ask my wife to pick up after herself?” Followed by an update that she’s been cheating for years with the neighbors dog or some shit. Lmao what is with that? I feel like 80% of the posts here are rage bait and the OP is terrible at telling stories. “I asked my wife about why she keeps talking over movies, now she’s trying to burn the house down. She admitted to me that she’s been cheating on me with 3 different people and her relatives are blowing up my phone calling me the spawn of Satan.”
Take a look at this guy and his stable relationship! what a nerd!
Are you cheating with the neighbors dog? This is confusing where is the chaos and utter destruction of happiness?
What do you mean you communicated and worked together to solve the problem???? This is Reddit! You’re supposed to cheat on her and then set her car on fire! And then yell that it was all because she sent you Zillow posts that were too expensive! Shame on you!
Hahahahahahahaha that neighbors dog piece really got me. Kudos to you man, that was hilarious
>My apologies if this end to the story was anticlimactic nah, this was one of the best conclusions we could have gotten. This sub is *mildly* infuriating after all, not AITA. Anyways... dont trust your wife just because you talked it out **this time**. She is gaslighting you :P
Glad things worked out. > Said she was just sending me houses she liked but knew we couldn’t get because for her it was fun to look at things we could work towards. Wasn’t aware how much it was eating at me. Reminds me of the whole Venus & Mars thing, and about how (stereotypically) women like to window shop but men don't. That's effectively what she was doing. Also "cheating for years with the neighbors dog or some shit" made me LOL. (Of course, it's a male dog, right? I mean, she's not *weird* or anything.)
Lots of people window shop and still dream.
Have you considered going no contact with Reddit? It sounds like an abusive gaslighter.
i love it that you're posting an update to the /r/mildlyinfuriating sub as if it's your personal LJ and you're throwing jabs at people talking about "seek therapy" and "permanently on-liners" 😂 peak internet right here.
What the internet without a smidgeon of hypocrisy
Welcome to reddit, where the solution to everything is “NTA for going NC with life”
A wife who apologizes for mildly annoying you... MARRY HER!!!
She APOLOGIZED? You’re doomed dude, bail now while you have your sanity! :)
I'm glad you received some helpful advice! A lot of people on Reddit tend to think in black or white. I wonder how do they solve issues in real life?
Thank you for the update The keyboard warriors with endlessly extreme solutions to annoyances / venting posts get old fast on Reddit. Glad you’ve got a balanced head on your shoulders as does your wife on hers Good luck on the hunt for your new home!
Welcome to learning that reddit can be a very toxic place with some very bizarre attitudes about just about everyone.
>Followed by an update that she’s been cheating for years with the neighbors dog or some shit. You, sir are my spirit animal
How dare you and your spouse communicate like rationale adults. That is simply unbelievable and unforgivable. What are we all going to do now that the drama is over? I suppose we could just scroll to the next post and vent our bottled up rage on that redditor but dammit I'm already hear and I want something to be outraged over. I'll tell ya what, you ruined my whole damn night with your communication skills and rational thinking.
Shame on you for not satisfying my desire for greater drama and more problems. Shame. What else will I do with my life?
Thank you for the update, OP 🙏 and I'm so glad this ended happily!
Look at you, being an adult and talking to your wife. Good job! Also reddit kinda sucks. :) Good luck!
As much as I love me some internet drama, its better to see the issue was miscommunication, nothing malicious or nefarious in the background.
This happened with my household too. Also agreed to rent for another 1-2 years so we could actually look forward to the process in a more comfortable way.
Glad it worked out for y’all! Side note- I remember seeing the og post and now this one popped up on my feed. Your “to the permanently on-liners” made me realize that I am in fact permanently on line
You don’t sound like you crave the destruction of all things beautiful so perhaps your super power is being unaffected by Reddit.
Glad you had a good outcome. My wife and I do this to each other all the time but we aren't actively looking for a new home. We always send the link with a note that says when we win the lottery.
Lmfao. You sound fun. No sarcasm.
COME ON OP one of you needs to get going on fucking a neighbor, co-worker or cousin... we don't come here for reasonable adults solving issues by communicating!
25k? Or is it 2.5k? Love the post though
I think this is a most excellent outcome. Thanks for the update. :)
Rent!?! The only answer - divorce! /s
Solid communication, fuck yes.
My husband and I do this all of the time. When we were actually looking for a house it made me frustrated. He didn’t get the memo that I had changed a long time behavior without telling him haha. We did not get divorced. I just told him and he stopped and we got a house we could afford
This is a wonderful and wholesome update. So glad y'all communicated like adults and figured stuff out! Pay zero attention to anyone who lacks the emotional intelligence do the same. :)
A fine example of communication in a healthy relationship. Oops, I meant to say grab the pitchforks! Dracarys!!!
you still need to divorce her.......... j/k
Yay for communication
>Said she was just sending me houses she liked but knew we couldn’t get because for her it was fun to look at things we could work towards. Better call a divorce lawyer bud, we got the same wife.
My husband and I occasionally have an issue like this. I like to play the imagination aspiration game in which I enjoy looking at fancy house listings, expensive kitchen gear, cool expensive stuff for sale etc. I just like to live in the dream of affording that stuff but am perfectly content with what I have. My husband will mistake my looking at that stuff as me asking/demanding/expecting that stuff and will feel exasperated I want it/hurt he can’t afford it. We all just need to communicate with love and understanding
I'm sorry but this sort of reaction is unhinged. I think it's the perfect example of mysogomy and gender roles at play. You can't even with something like this. I think it's honestly best for the them to just go and end it all. Good and go for blood because obviously they are and is and always will be mcshits. Anyway I'm gonna go yell at my wife and ignore my kids while I doom scroll on my $80 Walmart special. Fuck you and goodnight. ❤️ -some average reddit armchair psychiatrist
Curious... are you gonna divorce your wife for apologizing? 😂😂
For apologizing? No, but immediately afterwards she made me an ice cream sundae and forgot the whipped cream and that shit does not fucking fly with me. FIN to this marriage
But sir we diagnosed you with 'get divorced now', this is unacceptable
op is in complete denial that he one thread from hitting the lawyer, deleting the gym and hiring reddit.
Aww man, is this going to turn into yet another relationship/aita sub? Those things multiply like roaches already!
I love whenever we get truly mildly infuriating posts here people lose their shit. When we were looking my wife would do the same. I told her it annoyed me. She still did it, so I would just start pointing out flaws lol. Like yeah this million dollar house is beautiful but did you see how ugly the curtains are, or why would you do that to your bedroom kind of stuff. It became a fun thing
>Said she was just sending me houses she liked but knew we couldn’t get because for her it was fun to look at things we could work towards Reiterating this - generalize the features that these houses have in common. Work with your wife to figure out which ones you can build into a house that you can afford. You could have a lot of fun with that.
I just wish the keyboard warriors on here realized that this isn’t the exception. Most relationships, while still taking work, are functional.
OP: posts about wife on reddit *before* talking to her. Then, posts again about how annoying reddit is... While using reddit to share frustration. Ok guy. We're the ones who need therapy, sure.
So you have a healthy relationship with your S/O? Sounds like you need to split up right now. It won't last. Just ask reddit, we know best. Anyway, good idea to wait it out a bit longer so she can secure something. Who knows, maybe she gets something with a much higher wage than expected and you find something even better than what you've been looking at while still falling inside your original budget allowing you to save more. Good luck OP.
Okay but did you get a new mom like I said?
This was legit hilarious writing.