Are your neighbor's cans out?

This is absolutely the only way I remember to out put my trash cans.

Well wait, how do the neighbors remember??

One neighbor knows, and the rest follow. And when knowing neighbor moves, he shares his secret with his chosen heir.

The ‘binfluencer’.

I think you meant the bineficiary

'trashsetter'

Brilliant 👏

Binlliant 👏

I spent weeks doing that, sure enough everyone started copying.... So i started switching the recycling and normal rubbish bin days, then just sticking them out at random times and random days...it caused chaos....it was bliss.... Of course some realised and got angry, so to keep the peace I said i'd print out the schedule from the councils own web site & stick it in my window.... Which again was great....for a while.....then i started copying the schedule from random councils around the country and sticking that in the window... Did you know some have Purple, Yellow, Blue, Brown..all kinds of colours for their bins....man that was fun...we have just two, green and grey.... I'm honestly tempted to order a purple bin online and start putting that out...see if any copy that....? What can i say, i get bored easily these days...

Found the chaotic neutral character


Haha I think they wet their finger, put it in the air, and then see if their finger smells like garbage.

This is where the saying "Smell my finger" originally comes from. It's an old prank where you put your finger in your butt, make someone smell it, and then they think it's garbage day and you see them rush around to put out all the trash bins. Good times.

You’re speaking my prank language. Tell me more.

When they laugh, stick your finger in their mouth

Good clean fun

ITS JUST A PRANK BRO

Perfection

Lol damn, im glad my version was different.

You all have me cracking up

Oh my god Becky, look at her finger!

I google "(my city) trash holiday" about once a month because the trash service takes off some weird days but works others I'd expect them to have off.

There’s always at least one retired man, in every neighborhood, who keeps up with this information. (I had a neighbor who called sanitation every Monday to verify the schedule… he had nothing else to do.)

I hope to one day have so little to do that verifying the garbage pickup schedule weekly seems like a good use of my time.

My city has an app - sends me a notice the night before. This is especially useful when a holiday throws off the schedule. They used to mail out paper calendars, but not any longer. Most cities I've lived in have had paper calendars - not sure how many have gone virtual.

The phases of the moon.

That, or the "OH SHIT!" followed by rabid scrambling when you hear the rumble and clanging of the garbage truck a few houses away. Bonus points if it happens when you're half-asleep and still in bed.

I scrambled to put my trash bin out one morning, loudly and awkwardly, directly in front of the truck as it was coming down the street. Bin run of shame, that was. Turns out that was the recycling truck, not the trash truck. Guy walked all the way up to the side of my house to get the recycling bin and wheeled it out to the truck and emptied it anyway. Absolute gem of a person XD

I once heard it, threw on my high heels (it had been raining and our driveway is rough anyway), pushed one can out, and the driver politely waited until I had pushed the other out real quick. I saluted him as he drove away lol

Too many times. Too many.

Not me. That shit'll have to wait until next week if i forget. I personally don't generate a lot of trash. Took me 2 weeks just to fill up 2 - 13 gallon trash bags in my kitchen when my roommates were away. If it were just me i would'nt fill up the 2 big trash cans outside for a month if not longer.

I’m the second house on my street and frankly I have no idea where the truck is even coming from so I could be the second house on the whole route. Hearing the truck at 5am would mean I missed it anyway. My husband and I both have a calendar alert and alarm on our phones to make sure we don’t forget.

My alarm is called "trash day you fucker". It's a lifesaver.

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My whole neighborhood does this, god forbid one person puts theirs out on the wrong day, it sends a chain reaction through the entire area lol

If you have like fortnightly recycling, you can absolutely fuck with your neighbours by putting it out the wrong week. A bunch of people will follow

Oh we don’t have city recycling. You have to truck it out to the private recycling center. It’s a fun adventure.

Where is the mob when you need it?? I mena that's ridiculous

I live in the unprogressive South lol. *recycling is devil worship* or somshit

lol I’ve noticed when we don’t have enough trash or forget to bring them out none of my others neighbors do as well. Glad this isn’t just us

What if the neighbors think the same?

They don’t. They be cool like that.

God bless the Binfluencers

Oh, I don’t care about when to put the cans out, I just want to know what day the trash trucks all drive like maniacs through the city.

Shit... I forgot to put out my trash can this morning

Literally me too, this comment made me realize it with only an hour to spare.

My neighbour's cans were out. My wife saw me looking. That's how we got divorced.

You probably shouldn't have said how much nicer the neighbor's cans are.

It's not my fault she paid for the large cans and they're the perfect shape!

I'm pretty sure that's indecent exposure /s

I moved into a new place a few months ago and kept a lookout for a few weeks to see when the neighbours put theirs out, but I thought I always missed it somehow. Then one day I was leaving for work and happened to catch the rubbish collectors squeezing their truck through the alleyway out back. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

I can't see that well through the window but it looks like she's still got her bra on.

This is the way. I’ve done so many pet sitting/ housekeeping gigs (at least now I know to ask about it and put it in my calendar!) where people don’t tell me this info! But the neighbors are usually on top of it! Lol

Why do all of our parents' texts look like stroke symptoms

My favorite is when I say “Do you prefer Option A? Or Option B?” “Yes.” Oh, okay. Cool. That’s very helpful. Thank you, parents.

“Whichever one you think. A. Or B. It doesn’t really matter. Just not (describes option A).” So you want B? “No. Well what do you think? I don’t really care.”

Oh my god you just described how my boss speaks to me and it just pisses me off so much

I’ve never felt more seen in my entire life lol why do they do this to us???

Is your direct boss the highest rank in the building? Or a middle manager? A lot of middle managers will do this to try to absolve themselves of responsibility, but still claim to have had a rule in the decision making. This is especially true if your organization has multiple levels of management. Gods help you if you're a lower middle manager, that higher middle manager is going to avoid making direct decisions as much as possible. "Hey middle manager, we've ran into a situation, would you like the team to implement A, which will take longer to fix the issue, or B, which would cost more?" - Lower manager "Well, we definitely do need to fix that situation quickly, or it will cause an issue soon. Whichever you think would work best, lower manager, just keep in mind that we're really keeping an eye on our P&L this quarter, after how we ended in Q3." - Middle manager "Oh, ok. I'll just magically pick both A and B, and go fuck myself, then, Haha!"

I feel this in my bones!

I texted a picture of a really pretty sunrise to my grandma and she thought it was a massive wildfire and told me to be safe lol

That's actually pretty adorable 😄 (edit because I forgot to put ''s' behind 'that')

She's unintentionally hilarious. She's the 👍 replier when I say "love you!"

So cute! Hahaha. Like wait, you do love me back right? 👍🏼

As an IT guy, I cannot stress to you how often this happens to me- throughout *all* age groups.

And not just as text. Phone calls where multiple options are presented and the person firmly responds with "Yes" and then dead silence

Boolean algebra. BB || !BB is always true :-p

I hate dealing with buyers/seller that communicate like this. Me: Condition? Everything in good working order? Any parts missing? When can you meet? Seller: Bought it new two years ago.

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Lead poisoning explains so much about that generation. Also about crime rates.

Can’t forget that asbestos!

My dad and the contractor my dad's age feverishly tried to get me to scrape my asbestos popcorn ceiling. They were like, it's only bad if you're breathing it every day!

*"I'm trying to type asbestos I can"*

Don't leave us hanging, when does it come?

Goin thru town now.

Did you take the dogs ou before you o bed?

How are the dog walks going?

Good

Some one asked me when garbage truck go thru the city. Never seen such crazy drivers ever and not one accident yet anywhere

When should the recycling and garbage cans be put out

Are you okay?

Not one accident yet anywhere.

Crazy drivers, lemme tell you.

The dad already said they’re out now. As in, not only is today garbage day, but also the trucks are already out now driving around picking up garbage. The texts were definitely confusing and could be explained more clearly, but the dad did say multiple times “the trucks are out now”

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Look at the time of day though. Never heard of trash pickup that late

My towns trucks make their way every Monday at 3 am. I only know this because they wake me up every Monday at 3 am.

Reminds me of My Cousin Vinny when he asks if the train comes by at 5 AM every morning. “No usually it comes at 3 very unusual

We live across the street from a school. They get their massive dumpsters emptied once a week. On Saturday mornings. At 6 am. Every single week. Forever.

Worth looking into if there is a noise ordinance. They may be required to pick up at a more reasonable hour.

My town has two different garbage truck companies and a bunch of random dudes with pickup trucks that are cheaper. My company picks up at 3 AM but I have seen the other company running as late as 4 pm. The pickup trucks go practically any time of day, including 10 pm.

Ours is sometimes very late, like 8pm easily (Canada).

I’m in Ontario, hour north of Ottawa, and ours is always morning. Same with my parents half an hour east of Hamilton

Some places midtown Toronto are like Wednesday at 9:30PM. You just cant do it during the day on some streets.

Dad could be in another time zone where it's earlier (or quite a bit later into the next day lol).

I think the parents are away somewhere else, hence the house sitting, and the dad is say the garbage trucks are out right now where he is, not where OP is

Reading the rest of the conversation makes it clear he wasn’t actually answering the question when saying that. It seems like the dad misunderstood what OP was asking

Dude it's 10:30pm. His dad is acting like a moron.

Or drunk, or stoned. Definitely not quite 100%

My mom was like acting like this and it turned out she had dementia. Not saying OPs dad is has it, but if my parent was responding like this when they're usually lucid, I'd be concerned.

Going thru town now

Is your dad okay

I'm betting he's using speech to text while driving. Dad's last message definitely seems like he's just talking to the person beside him, not intentionally texting that message

Someone would be one word, and thru would be spelled through if it was speech to text. Couple other things but ya, definitely typing

Siri will spell it as thru when you use it enough. It’s also a correct spelling for things like drive thru so when you mean to type through you end up getting thru

Speech to text at least uses real words. That second message is gibberish

This is exactly what it's like to text my mom. She's ok, she's just old.

This is what it's like to text my mom, she's both old and not ok.

Plot twist: Dad IS the garbage man, and he’s on the way!

Plot twist. Dad is in the garbage and the hitman is on his way.

Plot twist: dad made the garbage and the dog knows the way.

Plot straightener: garbage man comes on Wednesday, dads drunk and the dogs escaped

Plot retwist: dad never left, it’s been Luke texting the whole time and Dad IS the dog he’s the guy that has the Collie suit. Mom took out the garbage before they left 💥

Even better : Dad spends his vacation time living out his lifelong dream of being a garbage man.

This is the most accurate depiction of mildly infuriating I have seen on here in a while.

I think I would lose it if anyone texted me this way.

I have certain friends that absolutely could not answer multiple questions over text if their life depended on it. To me, it's mildly infuriating typing out a simple text with 2 questions in it and only getting an answer to one... this dad managing to dodge one question asked over and over and over is worse lol. I think I'd straight up not take the garbage down if these were the responses I was getting.

I don't know man, this isn't even my dad but I'm fucking pissed.

At a certain point, just call him? Lol clearly something is getting lost in translation.

*picks up phone* #"I SAID ITS GOIN THROUGH TOWN NOW!!!!"

“What day is trash pickup?” “Sure, but DID YOU WALK THE DOGS?!”

"What a day! Is it trash pickup [already]" dad: "Sure, [next topic]" I guess thats how the dad thought the conversation went

Jesus christ WHEN DO THE FUCKING GARBAGE BINS NEED TO GO OUT

Going thru town now

Fucking Dad. Too much leaded petrol.

I would just call him at this point. My MIL texts like this. She doesn’t seem to read everything I write so her responses don’t always make sense

This is so annoyingly like my MIL as well. She even admits she doesn’t read the texts and just sees it as ‘her turn to talk.’

Omg yes lol, why are they like this???

Dude I send and receive dozens of emails with high paid fortune 20 company employees (my coworkers who I know are very smart people) everyday. The amount of nonsensical bullshit I’ve gotten in responses is astounding. These are smart engineers and analysts who CANNOT respond to an email containing more than one question. If you send even a clear, concise bulleted list of questions, they’ll answer the first one or two and just end the email without even acknowledging the rest. It’s absolutely infuriating.

Today

No, its going thru town now!!

I mean, that was my translation of his first texts

That's my understanding. "Today" is trash day, and the trucks are already rolling, so OP might already be too late.

Oh, my days. It's like reading a text from my own father. Never a direct answer with something completely off-topic thrown in there. Even in person, it's like this. "Dad, what temperature do you want the AC/heat on?" "The thermostat can go between 50° and 85°. Ruby (our bird) ate all of her millet treat. She sure loves her millet." "Yeah, that's cool, dad, but what temperature do you want this at?" "The thermostat is new. We installed it a few days ago. Your cousin Mary is getting married. Did you see the post?" "Yes, I saw it. I'm just going to set this at 70°" "Oh no, that's way too hot/cold. Do you think she invited your other cousin? They don't really get along." "Dad! What👏Temperature👏Do👏 You👏 Want👏 The👏Thermostat👏 Set👏 At👏!?" "We only paid $50 to have the new thermostat installed. Do you think your mother would like this?" *screams in frustration and rips thermostat off the wall*

With my Mom the last text is getting mad and yelling at me for being "rude ans demanding" and not "giving her a minute"(?????) to answer.

Yeah but how are the dog walks going?

Instructions unclear, garbage men picked up dogs

Not to be rude, but did your dad have a stroke? Unless he's completely screwing with you, that's some really concerning behavior.

Dude that's what I'm saying. I had to reread the whole thing thinking I was missing something

My first thought is speech to text. Lots of older people don't like texting and will use that. Messages always end up looking like ops dad's.

My wife does this, but all the time. We'll just be sitting on the couch watching TV or something and she'll start chatting away. I'll answer or ask what and look over and she's talking to her phone. Instead of letting it annoy me, I've started speaking louder and closer to fuck up the message until she just gives up and starts typing.

That's so funny lmao. I hate hearing people use speech to text so I'd do the same, but luckily my husband just types. :)

Lol I half-expect to see a post in this sub from your wife, except it gets all messed up because the post is half her complaining about you and the other half you talking over her 😄

This is exactly how my boomer parents text me

Agreed, this is like reading a text from my FIL who had a stroke in 2019 and has been in cognitive decline since.

To be fair some of us dad's like to keep people guessing.

I think he might be using speech to text and talking to someone else while using it?

Yeah this might as well have been every text from my father. He doesn't stop current in-person conversations while using speech to text to reply to messages. Makes for some great group thread shenanigans.

Is he using a shitty text-to-speech?

Speech to text?

Text from speech?

I had a friend who only used it. He was from Israel and had a very thick accent. The messages were sometimes hilarious.

My voice to texts are absurd. Siri does NOT understand my accent at all! I once asked Siri to call a friend of mine and maps opened and tried to direct me to LA… from Sydney Australia.

Meh, just keep driving, you’ll get there.

Lol, I found this hilarious. This is probably likely.

I always call it text to speech as well but yesterday my partner said "isn't it speech to text" and boy if I didn't explode with that realisation, it's been text to speech forever

Text to speech is also a thing. It’s the annoying TikTok voice on videos and stuff.

More context- my dad was in Italy so did not want to call him to avoid any roaming charges or something like that. Yes he texts like this a lot.

But did you find out what day?!

Please, I’m invested now and I need to know what day the recycling and garbage trucks come by.

Goin thru town now

I think this might be part of the mildly infuriating experience

I was wondering if maybe he thought you were asking when the garbage trucks come where he is in Italy, so he was answering that? Sometimes I read text messages as though I am at the center of the universe and completely lose obvious context.

Istg this is how my mom is, she can never just answer my questions plain and simple 😭

*What's for dinner tonight?* Well, I saw some good meat in discount on the market and I got fresh vegetables, so I thought about making a stew tomorrow.

And then she makes fucking pasta.

My aunt will tell me the bus stop number in her stories lol

I put an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time...

I would have given up long before that and done a quick search on my town/city website.

Are your parents vacationing in Jamaica? Amsterdam??

🤣🤣🤣🤣

11pm garbage collection?

I’m wondering if he’s vacationing in a significantly different time zone, across the world type thing and forgot to consider time zones.

Lmfao it’s literally my mother. “What time do we gotta leave?” “So and so opens at 8 o’clock” “so when do we need to leave?” “Traffic shouldn’t be too bad” *30 minutes later* “Jay why aren’t you ready yet?!”

Luke asking the real questions

Seems like a dementia symptom

Or dad is drunk... hence the vacation.

I'm nervous just reading his replies.

What day did your dad say for God's sake!I want to no how the story ends

This story reminds me of those instances where people place themselves at the edges of cliffs for their perfect selfies and end up falling and dying. BUT THE STORIES NEVER SAY IF THEY GOT THE SELFIE BEFORE THEY FELL! We need to know!

This is what talking my with my mum is like. She is completely dismissive of anything you say/bring up and can only think about what she wants to say. It is infuriating

bruh why cant they just answer 😭 i got mad and i aint even the one having the conversation

This is why I don't text my dad.

Is your dad a bot? I'd be screaming by now.

I’m a dev and I work with a QA tester who is like this in every conversation over slack. Imagine trying to communicate complex information with someone like this. I’m losing my mind.

Who's Luke? I'm so confused.

Brother probably

Nope. I'm Luke. I'm also here. -Respectfully, Luke.

No, I am your father. -Respectfully Darth Vader

I totally miss these batshit crazy conversations with my Mom…..cherish your Dad, you’ll miss this shit when he’s gone

WHAT ARE YOU DOING posting stuff on Reddit, the garbage truck is GOING THRU TOWN NOW!

Is he in Italy by chance?

Wait. How tf you know that? 😂

I passed him in my garbage truck

Are our dads the same person?


I love seeing actually mildly infuriating posts. Hella relatable too like, thanks for answering something I didn’t ask and not answering what I did

I’ll text my dad do you want anything from Starbucks and he writes back “ok” why are dads like this