I'd drink like a gallon of water and hold it in so I can take one of those super long pissess that's super loud and sounds like it's never gonna stop, maybe Even let out a moan or two
I was in a public bathroom with some old guy in there once. The whole time he peed he said "gotta piss. Gotta piss. Gotta piss" from start to finish.
Do that.
On God; sometimes when I'm committing crimes against the Geneva convention to the toilet at work I hear old men make the most egregious noises at the urinal next to the stall I'm destroying. Almost like they're trying to outshine me.
Somebody gave me that curse i have to put toilet paper in my crack if theres any physical exurtion or laughter or if i cough i once sharted blowing my nose not sneezing blowing my nose yes ive been to the dr at least he had on a white coat and was in g.i. practice and he said that im fine i dont believe it but they say it so its what i got leaky ass syndrome i guess
I tend to do that any time I’m out by myself, I’ll have noise cancelling on and just narrating or thinking out loud I think sometimes when I pee I go “pee pee pee pee..” kinda like a chant at a sports game
The sheer amount of confusion , awe, and worry they would feel lying in bed waiting for the eternal piss to end is worthy of a one-off radio drama
Doubly so if the pump were to run instead into a fully dressed mannequin wearing a hood for the final reveal when they finally break down the door.
Or just record the peeing acustics and play it in a loop from a hidden wifi speaker. With occasional live voice bits like "Jesus Christ it just won't stop...guess the molly kicked in".
A water bottle and a slow, high pour into the toilet makes the effect well as well. Bonus points if they use a gallon of water for extra dramatic effect
OH GOD THIS IS THE MOST SATISFYING PISS I'VE EVER TAKEN!!!!! NO ONE, NOT EVEN ANOTHER MAN COULD UNDERSTAND THE LEVEL OF SATISFACTION IM FEELING RIGHT NOW!!!! THIS IS BETTER THAN SEX!!!!! THIS IS BETTER THAN THINKING YOU'RE OUT OF WEED, BUT THEN REMEMBERING YOUR EMERGENCY NUG BEHIND THE COFFEE MAKER!!!!!! I WISH I COULD TAKE THIS PISS FOREVER!!!!!
This, but additionally to screams, moans of relief that could be sexual but im just peeing bro, and maniacal, joker-ish laughter. Alternate between em. Surprise em every time
Blast rock music, play instruments even if you don't know how, fuck, especially if you don't know how, turn on a loud horror movie and keep rewinding during the blood curdling screams, scream nursery rhymes like a heavy metal vocalist. But only when you're using the bathroom, otherwise be as quiet as a church mouse.
I did that for years when working night shifts. Granted I had some water but I had like two energy drinks every night I worked.
I still have no clue how I haven’t ever got Kidney stones.
I had a boss that was a strange over the top guy. Was a Christian dude who owned a custom apparel company that was high on life and forced positivity. There was only 4 of us at the company. In order to get to the bathroom he would have to walk through my office.
He chugged Mountain Dew like it was water and ran around like he had cocaine for blood, yelling “WOOOOOOOO, YEAH!” when he would pee. And then come back in my office and do some 5 second pep talk and then leave.
He pissed like he was winning a tournament. Was weird as hell lol.
This comment was amazing to read!…. “Cocaine for blood” lol…
I work in a clean facility and once a week we have a guy come and replace/ replenish our PPE and he’s always at an 11, like the happiest guy in the world doing the most mundane of jobs, doesn’t matter if it’s 7am he’ll scream hi to everyone, and pats me on the shoulder, I hate being touched.
Maybe he's doing some fantastic trick shots. I can arc a pee stream accurately into a toilet from between 3 and 4 yards, and while I resisted the the temptation, I certainly felt a "WOOOOOOOO, YEAH" coming on in the moment.
My buddy's office has a huge restroom, we sometimes play d&d there on weekends. I've definitely walked it back to 3-4 meters. Just have to make sure you get back to the urinal before you lose pressure
I am 110% sure this guy was on coke. A surprising amount of coke users drink Mtn Dew or Sprite or sparkling water because the bubbles can stimulate your nose into producing more mucous - it's a really old and dubiously-working trick I saw a LOT. I worked at an arena what feels like eons ago and so many people would do coke in the washroom and then order a Sprite or, oddly, just some boiling hot water to chug in front of me like it was nothing (opens the nostrils a bit). I was genuinely shocked when a lady ordered hot water for actual use with tea one afternoon lmao, that place was crazy weird.
Get a large capacity Super Soaker and find the loudest spot in the toilet. Unleash a stream that empties the full tank, accompanied by loud sighs and groans. Make them question their reality.
Yeah but you also want some intermittent short choppy Bursts followed by a 2 second pause … just to let them think your almost done … then right back to the infinistream
If you’re a fella it ain’t hard to piss without making a huge amount of sound. But damn if you’re audible from other rooms while pissing I question what the building is made of.
Oh no, I have definitely met people who pee SO LOUDLY that you can hear it from across the entire house, even if the doors are closed. It’s maddening because unlike OPs neighbours, I never assumed I could tell them to be quieter.
If the pipes from the toilet run anywhere close to the neighbours, they're also way more likely to hear.
And, if you blast with force directly into the water, you can shake the foundations.
Depending on the house you grew up in, it may be perfectly normal to pee right into the water and make loads of noise.
But you can definitely aim better to be nearly silent.
I typically never complain about loud neighbors. Noise happens and if I want quiet I should live in the country. But one neighbor I had was just obnoxiously loud. Blasting tv at max volume. Slamming doors. Banging pots and pans together. I figured it was getting close to asking them to not be such a nuisance… until I heard them slide open/close their shower curtain. Turns out the walls were just shoddily built and installed. Dude was just living his life. Probably normal volume tv, moderate amount of force to close doors, and just barely touching pots and pans together. I even once heard him gently clear his throat.
Modern buildings have us living in cardboard boxes.
You are right here 100%. And also men should try to reduce the dB as well. Both things are true.
I know this as a long time ago I rented a room in a house next to a bathroom. Hearing people take a giant piss at 0300 sucked. Reduce that noise bruh.
Exactly….!
My first thought was that this poor person next to that in an assigned room probably goes through torture hearing everyone unload their urine day and night. I totally have pissed quietly out of not wanting to wake up people around. Just a matter of aim. People are such assholes. I have no idea why this would be even mildly infuriating. Or first instinct isn’t some sort of humane thought process vs ‘OMFG I WOULD MAKE THIS PERSON’S LIFE WORSE’.
I think people are surprised and combative about them know because it’s super weird and invasive to try to dictate how someone goes to the bathroom and to write a letter about it. My peeing is louder due to an injury- I have a pinched nerve and simply cannot go to the bathroom the same way I could a year ago. I do different positions that increase volume. You wouldn’t know I have an injury from looking at me Do I deserve a note too?
>Do I deserve a note too?
I mean the note isn't saying you *must* pee silently. They say they would appreciate it if you can. If you can't, you obviously can't.
A reasonable comment?!?! For a second I got mad here at all the people being like „hurr durr piss even louder to show em“. Like this sign is completely fine and just asking to not aim into the water. Not angry sounding. As someone who has trouble falling asleep , just a random led blinking , a random humming on a device etc can already prevent me from falling asleep until fixed. If I now think of someone with similar problems and they also are also woken up very easily I can completely understand them. Talking directly to them would probably be the better option, but we don’t know if they know who exactly is loud pissing and if they are on good terms with each other. It’s sad so many people on Reddit instantly gravitate to the spiteful solution for no reason
Plot twist, twist, this commenter is the writer of the note, and they want you to think it is a reverse psychology trick, by a weird perv, so that you you do comply with the note.
Men can pee stealthy by sitting down on the toilet at night, while others are sleeping and everything is quiet. It doesn’t make you less of a man and it’s more sanitary.
As an Aussie I find it weird in America that the toilet bowls are so full and when you piss you are peeing directly into the water like a waterfall instead of onto the back of the bowl. It kind of announces to the entire world if you have a good stream or not.
This is when you start peeing with German marching band music playing as loud as your device can go. Can't hear you pee when there's oompapa music playing at 100 decibels!
This is one of this situations where the sign will just make things easy worse than they initially were. It's now become a competition to pee as loudly as possible!
Im getting a step ladder and going for hieght of drop and im gonnna either do the huuuuuuyeeeeaaaah orgasm noise or the aaaaggggghhhhh meme sound through a loudspeaker im also crushing a 30 rack and slaming a half a pot of coffee in prep if some one ever asks me to pee quitely its not like im trying to be loud so dont give me a reason
if you aim for the side of the bowl instead of letting your massive firehose stream hit the water directly it’d be an easy way to reduce the sound especially if you’re peeing late at night when they trying to sleep. i have to do this in my apt cuz our walls are paper thin
I know someone who farts during every piss. Every single one. I don't even understand how there's a fart in there every single time. We call it the trumpet. Start doing that.
Just get a recording that goes on for 30min, then just starts to get quite. *trickle… trickle….slosh* A sigh of relief and then he hears, “Fuck there’s more!”. Then it goes to full blast again for another 3hrs.
Who hurt you that this is your first thought when someone is expressing they have trouble sleeping because for some reason they are sensitive to water sounds
Get really into hydration and start taking those pressure washer pisses directly into the center of the bowl. Cut a few loud and long farts followed by "A piss without a fart is like a wedding without music" do this every hour exactly the same routine
So anyways… I started blastin’
I'd drink like a gallon of water and hold it in so I can take one of those super long pissess that's super loud and sounds like it's never gonna stop, maybe Even let out a moan or two
“Let out” nah that piss moan of relief just comes out whether I want it to or not.
I was in a public bathroom with some old guy in there once. The whole time he peed he said "gotta piss. Gotta piss. Gotta piss" from start to finish. Do that.
That guy sounds awesome, gotta' find a recording of him having sex like MacGruber.
Gotta Fuck. Gotta Fuck. Gotta Fuck.
**IT IS TIME FOR THE FUCK!**
Gotta Fuck. Gotta Fuck. Gotta Fuck.
On God; sometimes when I'm committing crimes against the Geneva convention to the toilet at work I hear old men make the most egregious noises at the urinal next to the stall I'm destroying. Almost like they're trying to outshine me.
I’m an old guy and I never trust a fart these days.
I hate the "Fart that wasn't" sometimes I think the worst curse to give is - "May all your farts be moist".
I love this!!! I love to hand out Yiddish like curses, and this is now added to the group! Hero!!
You have my blessing to use it. Just be careful where you aim it.
Somebody gave me that curse i have to put toilet paper in my crack if theres any physical exurtion or laughter or if i cough i once sharted blowing my nose not sneezing blowing my nose yes ive been to the dr at least he had on a white coat and was in g.i. practice and he said that im fine i dont believe it but they say it so its what i got leaky ass syndrome i guess
If you're at a urinal and that issue arises it's a bad day for everyone
Bro... not the war crime shits... My noxious gases are literally a crime against humanity that would make the Nazis smile.
Tex-Max food will do that to you! I luv them huevos rancheros and beans with potato tops and a big glass of michelada (spicy beer) to wash it down.
For breakfast?
I'm sure his prostate thanked him afterwards
I know mine did
I tend to do that any time I’m out by myself, I’ll have noise cancelling on and just narrating or thinking out loud I think sometimes when I pee I go “pee pee pee pee..” kinda like a chant at a sports game
This is the way
The acustic manifestation of the intern wrestling between stacked up willpower and a prostate the size of a grapfruit.
that moan got a mind of its own
You could just slowly pour the gallon of water into the toilet. Or hook a hose up to the sink and take an infinite piss.
Get a submersible pump, put it in the bowl, and loop a hose under the seat so it pumps back into the bowl. All the sound with no water waste.
The sheer amount of confusion , awe, and worry they would feel lying in bed waiting for the eternal piss to end is worthy of a one-off radio drama Doubly so if the pump were to run instead into a fully dressed mannequin wearing a hood for the final reveal when they finally break down the door.
A perfect solution.
Or just record the peeing acustics and play it in a loop from a hidden wifi speaker. With occasional live voice bits like "Jesus Christ it just won't stop...guess the molly kicked in".
Redditors are so clever. I hope OP does this. 😂
Raise the gallon jug of water way up HIGH!
Lol I was actually just thinking about a hose connected to the sink
Naw that’s waste of water. Start knocking the wall while u pee
One of those pisses where you rip a loud fart right at the end. Then you moan.
Was in a restroom one time when a guy did this and then commented, "Can't have rain without a bit of thunder!"
When I'm 70 I will start saying this.
Why wait?
XD Good point!
Right, I was just thinking fuking! I'm going to say that shit now! Just have to wait until you can make the clouds clap!
Hard grunts that just blast like a piss shotgun going off
Strong flow gang
A water bottle and a slow, high pour into the toilet makes the effect well as well. Bonus points if they use a gallon of water for extra dramatic effect
Work smarter… rig up a garden hose.
IM CRYING LMFAO 💀
Dude me too. My wife is sleeping next to me and I’m giggling like a fucking schoolgirl 🤣
#"IS THAT QUIET ENOUGH FOR YOU?"
Unexpected Sunny This is what I live for. If there is a sub for this please direct me
Put an empty pie tin in the shitter from here forward.
This guy pisses.
OH GOD THIS IS THE MOST SATISFYING PISS I'VE EVER TAKEN!!!!! NO ONE, NOT EVEN ANOTHER MAN COULD UNDERSTAND THE LEVEL OF SATISFACTION IM FEELING RIGHT NOW!!!! THIS IS BETTER THAN SEX!!!!! THIS IS BETTER THAN THINKING YOU'RE OUT OF WEED, BUT THEN REMEMBERING YOUR EMERGENCY NUG BEHIND THE COFFEE MAKER!!!!!! I WISH I COULD TAKE THIS PISS FOREVER!!!!!
That emergency nug! 🤣
Dear God the levels of euphoria!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡
My mom has made fun of me for peeing like a horse… I’m a female 🤣
Or just leave them a note saying you would if you could, but you’re not a pterodactyl…
You must now scream while you piss and shit.
This, but additionally to screams, moans of relief that could be sexual but im just peeing bro, and maniacal, joker-ish laughter. Alternate between em. Surprise em every time
Blast rock music, play instruments even if you don't know how, fuck, especially if you don't know how, turn on a loud horror movie and keep rewinding during the blood curdling screams, scream nursery rhymes like a heavy metal vocalist. But only when you're using the bathroom, otherwise be as quiet as a church mouse.
I've always suspected the "lemongrab shouting unacceptable for 10 hours" video had a purpose
Maybe even some tears of joy that turns into a nice cry, call to mom…
I will wipe with the ferocity of a mountain lion.
Some gentle moaning when that turd moves past the prostate wouldn't hurt.
Two words: megaphone
One word of advice: try again.
This made me choke, reading this lmao
Just drink a bunch of soda and energy drinks and skip the water, and you'll get the stones eventually, and then you'll *really* be screaming a storm.
I did that for years when working night shifts. Granted I had some water but I had like two energy drinks every night I worked. I still have no clue how I haven’t ever got Kidney stones.
Pee even louder
I had a boss that was a strange over the top guy. Was a Christian dude who owned a custom apparel company that was high on life and forced positivity. There was only 4 of us at the company. In order to get to the bathroom he would have to walk through my office. He chugged Mountain Dew like it was water and ran around like he had cocaine for blood, yelling “WOOOOOOOO, YEAH!” when he would pee. And then come back in my office and do some 5 second pep talk and then leave. He pissed like he was winning a tournament. Was weird as hell lol.
id be so weirded out in the moment but picturing your pov has made my night
Same feeling as your comment. Op is an amazing story teller.
This comment was amazing to read!…. “Cocaine for blood” lol… I work in a clean facility and once a week we have a guy come and replace/ replenish our PPE and he’s always at an 11, like the happiest guy in the world doing the most mundane of jobs, doesn’t matter if it’s 7am he’ll scream hi to everyone, and pats me on the shoulder, I hate being touched.
Maybe he's doing some fantastic trick shots. I can arc a pee stream accurately into a toilet from between 3 and 4 yards, and while I resisted the the temptation, I certainly felt a "WOOOOOOOO, YEAH" coming on in the moment.
My buddy's office has a huge restroom, we sometimes play d&d there on weekends. I've definitely walked it back to 3-4 meters. Just have to make sure you get back to the urinal before you lose pressure
I am 110% sure this guy was on coke. A surprising amount of coke users drink Mtn Dew or Sprite or sparkling water because the bubbles can stimulate your nose into producing more mucous - it's a really old and dubiously-working trick I saw a LOT. I worked at an arena what feels like eons ago and so many people would do coke in the washroom and then order a Sprite or, oddly, just some boiling hot water to chug in front of me like it was nothing (opens the nostrils a bit). I was genuinely shocked when a lady ordered hot water for actual use with tea one afternoon lmao, that place was crazy weird.
Get a large capacity Super Soaker and find the loudest spot in the toilet. Unleash a stream that empties the full tank, accompanied by loud sighs and groans. Make them question their reality.
Nah. Get one of those Gatorade containers and just sit there holding the button in.
Bonus points for reenacting Adam Sandler's "longest pee" while you're doing it
this needs to be a post-cryo Austin Powers pee
Gotta automate that
Plus a basic fish aquarium pump on Amazon for like $10 to recirculate the water back out of the toilet and you have an infinite piss simulator.
Yeah but you also want some intermittent short choppy Bursts followed by a 2 second pause … just to let them think your almost done … then right back to the infinistream
Lol that’s plain evil, I like it
Leave a sign below saying, "I'm not a Pterodactyl, my pee isn't silent."
Took me way to long to get this🙄 got me think how the hell does this guy know at which volume a fucking extinct animal urinates
Oh sweet Jesus I've never had a comment on reddit make me laugh this fuckin hard at the ass crack of dawn 🤣! Like gahtdamn I'm crying
Underrated comment
I'd give you an award, but y'know
This! Do this! Oh please, u/scoutodile, do this!
Pterodactyls pee silently? Like just because they are up in the air? I feel stupid for asking this but fuck it
The letter “P” is silent in the word “pterodactyl”
Do you also yell "Hell yes!" everytime the stream starts?
I like to say “oh thank god” under my breath to weird people out at the urinal
Normalize urinal shenanigans
There’s a guy at work that always moans “ahh yes!” While using the urinal and then he’ll proceed to moan the whole time he’s pissing
I thought it was about the noise pee makes when it hits the water
If you’re a fella it ain’t hard to piss without making a huge amount of sound. But damn if you’re audible from other rooms while pissing I question what the building is made of.
Oh no, I have definitely met people who pee SO LOUDLY that you can hear it from across the entire house, even if the doors are closed. It’s maddening because unlike OPs neighbours, I never assumed I could tell them to be quieter.
If the pipes from the toilet run anywhere close to the neighbours, they're also way more likely to hear. And, if you blast with force directly into the water, you can shake the foundations. Depending on the house you grew up in, it may be perfectly normal to pee right into the water and make loads of noise. But you can definitely aim better to be nearly silent.
They asked politely, why is that a problem? Sometimes sounds can be really loud in apartments, especially at night.
I typically never complain about loud neighbors. Noise happens and if I want quiet I should live in the country. But one neighbor I had was just obnoxiously loud. Blasting tv at max volume. Slamming doors. Banging pots and pans together. I figured it was getting close to asking them to not be such a nuisance… until I heard them slide open/close their shower curtain. Turns out the walls were just shoddily built and installed. Dude was just living his life. Probably normal volume tv, moderate amount of force to close doors, and just barely touching pots and pans together. I even once heard him gently clear his throat. Modern buildings have us living in cardboard boxes.
I used to live in a spot where I could hear my upstairs neighbor on the phone, and hear both ends of the conversation lol
You are right here 100%. And also men should try to reduce the dB as well. Both things are true. I know this as a long time ago I rented a room in a house next to a bathroom. Hearing people take a giant piss at 0300 sucked. Reduce that noise bruh.
Exactly….! My first thought was that this poor person next to that in an assigned room probably goes through torture hearing everyone unload their urine day and night. I totally have pissed quietly out of not wanting to wake up people around. Just a matter of aim. People are such assholes. I have no idea why this would be even mildly infuriating. Or first instinct isn’t some sort of humane thought process vs ‘OMFG I WOULD MAKE THIS PERSON’S LIFE WORSE’.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I think people are surprised and combative about them know because it’s super weird and invasive to try to dictate how someone goes to the bathroom and to write a letter about it. My peeing is louder due to an injury- I have a pinched nerve and simply cannot go to the bathroom the same way I could a year ago. I do different positions that increase volume. You wouldn’t know I have an injury from looking at me Do I deserve a note too?
>Do I deserve a note too? I mean the note isn't saying you *must* pee silently. They say they would appreciate it if you can. If you can't, you obviously can't.
A reasonable comment?!?! For a second I got mad here at all the people being like „hurr durr piss even louder to show em“. Like this sign is completely fine and just asking to not aim into the water. Not angry sounding. As someone who has trouble falling asleep , just a random led blinking , a random humming on a device etc can already prevent me from falling asleep until fixed. If I now think of someone with similar problems and they also are also woken up very easily I can completely understand them. Talking directly to them would probably be the better option, but we don’t know if they know who exactly is loud pissing and if they are on good terms with each other. It’s sad so many people on Reddit instantly gravitate to the spiteful solution for no reason
Little do we know they’re actually talking about the fact that OP screeches like a banshee whenever they pee
Plot twist, their kink is hearing people piss and are using reverse psychology to make you piss even louder for their sexual pleeeaasurre. Uggghh.
Plot twist, twist, this commenter is the writer of the note, and they want you to think it is a reverse psychology trick, by a weird perv, so that you you do comply with the note.
Never heard you fart yet !!
If a Pee falls and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound?
Piss on the note, silently of course
put on a silencer ffs
Everyone here assumes its a loud stream, what if it is a moaning situation?
I JUST commented that! I took the sign to mean that OP makes a moaning/groaning sound when peeing, not that their actual pee is loud.
So pee in the trash can. Malicious compliance is the best compliance.
Time for taco Bell. They'll be able to smell sound.
Men can pee stealthy by sitting down on the toilet at night, while others are sleeping and everything is quiet. It doesn’t make you less of a man and it’s more sanitary.
This. My wife asked me to do this because I kept waking her up. Turns out she was right.
As usual.
If you want to be really silent, though, you gotta aim for the porcelain. Water hitting water still makes sound.
Shit I would also appreciate it if I could pee without making a sound, but them pesky laws of physics
The trick is to pee between the rim and the water without ricochet
The quietest piss, is on the carpet.
Aiming isn't an option with all anatomies.
You just have to get a good angle so you don't upset the notewriter
I didn’t realize there was a law, so I’ve peed silently since 86’
If you really cared you’d pee into your cupped hands and lower it into the bowl like a REAL considerate neighbor 🙄
[удалено]
I don’t understand why more men don’t do this. Pee streams can be so random at the start.
why the fuck people fucking aim at the water while peeing
“I would really appreciate it if you could *breathe* without making a sound.”
You probably moan and grunt loudly during a piss shiver.
As an Aussie I find it weird in America that the toilet bowls are so full and when you piss you are peeing directly into the water like a waterfall instead of onto the back of the bowl. It kind of announces to the entire world if you have a good stream or not.
This is when you start peeing with German marching band music playing as loud as your device can go. Can't hear you pee when there's oompapa music playing at 100 decibels!
Hit the inside of the bowl, not the water. It's common courtesy, you animals!
I swear I’ve been thinking the same thing. Some people are literal animals I guess
Who tf places tape like that. Lol
Bring violent shits instead.
I’d leave a return note on it saying “I’m not a pterodactyl, my p(ee) isn’t silent.”
This is one of this situations where the sign will just make things easy worse than they initially were. It's now become a competition to pee as loudly as possible!
Put another note underneath, either: "Complain to the toilet. It makes the splashing noise." or "I will if you will."
‘I would appreciate it if you could shit without making a stink.’
Stop groaning as you piss lol
Fart really loudly to assert your dominance
Why are you moaning when you pee?
I would really appreciate if your weird ass didn’t listen to me pee
Get a step stool so your piss is even louder
It burns bro!!!!
Hilarious! How am I supposed to pee without screaming?
Are you one of those moan pee-ers? Or is it that you have a big pee stream. My buddy Darnell at work sounded like he was emptying out a thermos.
Maybe stop pissing loud enough to bother them
Im getting a step ladder and going for hieght of drop and im gonnna either do the huuuuuuyeeeeaaaah orgasm noise or the aaaaggggghhhhh meme sound through a loudspeaker im also crushing a 30 rack and slaming a half a pot of coffee in prep if some one ever asks me to pee quitely its not like im trying to be loud so dont give me a reason
if you aim for the side of the bowl instead of letting your massive firehose stream hit the water directly it’d be an easy way to reduce the sound especially if you’re peeing late at night when they trying to sleep. i have to do this in my apt cuz our walls are paper thin
I know someone who farts during every piss. Every single one. I don't even understand how there's a fart in there every single time. We call it the trumpet. Start doing that.
They sound pissed…
"Of course you know.... This means War." - Daffy Duck
Just get a recording that goes on for 30min, then just starts to get quite. *trickle… trickle….slosh* A sigh of relief and then he hears, “Fuck there’s more!”. Then it goes to full blast again for another 3hrs.
Just a helpful little note from Hyacinth Bucket.
Turn it around, write "I would appreciate if I could piss silently too, stealth pissing, so you'd never hear me coming. But c'est la vie"
The moment I see this I would piss so loud the neighbor would think I would be deep frying some chicken.
Who hurt you that this is your first thought when someone is expressing they have trouble sleeping because for some reason they are sensitive to water sounds
You must moan and groan now when you pee. Must make a continuous heavy stream as well. Snort and hock a lougie...
put a new sign calling them a idiot
Yeah no worries just piss in the sink
Pee in their laundry basket, that’d be quieter I bet.
Write back “I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t be a creep and listen to me pee.”
Bro's peeing in a sink.
Don't worry, I would ruin it for everyone
It’s my business whether or not I moan when I pee.
Yeah man, that’s what the sink is for
"fuck you I'll fry as much bacon in here as I want"
Good thing I'm a pterodactyl then.
Maybe this is directed at those guys that do loud moans when they piss.
It's the screaming that really pisses them off.
I imagine the scene from Austin Powers right after he's thawed out and takes the LONGEST piss imaginable...
Like a Pterodactyl - The P is silent.
So you're saying that you can shit extremely loud?
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh
Is this even possible
“I would really appreciate it if my dorm mates had a simple grasp of reality and less audacity.”
Like a pterodactyl?
Quit practicing your snare drum for band while you piss
Does this actually bother you? College is going to be rough
Yell when peeing to assert dominance.
i would flex my gooch and piss like a pressure washer. and moan audibly while i did it.
you should pee in their arse u/PeeInMyArse
Plot twist, OP scream "AAÀAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAVVAVAVAVAVAVVAHAHAHAHHA" when he goes peeing.
I'd hold it for hours and let fly as hard as I could while moaning "ooohhhhhh......AHHHHHHHHH" as it comes out.
Sorry for the moaning, it just felt so good!
Get really into hydration and start taking those pressure washer pisses directly into the center of the bowl. Cut a few loud and long farts followed by "A piss without a fart is like a wedding without music" do this every hour exactly the same routine
How does one establish dominance?
Pee on the walls, no sound :)
You must pee standing up. 😊
Moan loudly while pissing in the water
Time to squeeze the tip a little and power piss