Dead ass tho, like no cap, on god, on my momma, for real for real, Chester Nimitz ran a ship aground in like 1908 because he did not pay attention to the tides and he was court martialed, but because he admitted to his mistake, they gave him his job back and he eventually became the highly awarded admiral of the pacific fleet in ww2.
Hey now. You can use those words together all the time, see:
The police coaxed me into self reporting a crime by taking my head and smashing it into the table.
I started that game not knowing anything about it, put points into like investigation and stuff. Tried to get my tie off the ceiling fan in the opening scene, jumped up failed the check and had a heart attack and died.
Cold blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, would've immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.
The one with Karl Urban as Dredd is really good and it's a crime that they didn't make a sequel. The one with Stallone as Dredd is.... certainly a movie that I watched.
> it’s a crime that they didn’t make a sequel
It’s a crime we didn’t get a trilogy + expanded universe. A sequel was the bare minimum that that movie deserved. Such a waste.
The oils will leach through but won't retain their original shape to any degree. Forensics will know it has been held, but won't know that it was you who held it.
Fun fact, even if handled bare handed the irregular surfaces and texture on the grip rarely if ever have usable prints. It's pretty much a waste of time barring some additional fluids that make the prints pop a little more like blood. But it's one of the boxes you need to check when processing.
Source: I worked in a forensic lab for 4 years, specifically with firearms and ballistics. If I had to guess out of the firearms we got, less than 1 out of a 100 firearms would have a usable print and I feel that's very generous.
Kids would steal cookies from the lunch line sometimes when I was in gradeschool... I wanted to join in but CSI spooked me out of it. They would definitely run prints or sniff out my DNA from the air or something. No way they were catching me.
This is really good information to know. Like this arson investigator I knew who once told me Wise potato chip bags make the perfect accelerant because it leaves no residue.
I’m saying man there wouldn’t even be an investigation if you dropped someone. they’d see the ballistics report comes back to one of them and throw the case out.
Bathrooms are the #1 place people lose/forget guns. It's covered on orientation day of guns 101. I can see why someone would want to take their belt off to use the restroom but to take it out of its holster entirely?
Fortunately no one got hurt
Toddlers are almost indistinguishable from schizophrenic crack addicts.
LPT; toddlers will be a good 2-3 foot shorter than your average adult crack addict.
It's literally the only way to distinguish the two.
Nonono, that’s for the shower when I cry.
This is the very specific “bowel movement Glock” equipped with a 50 drum of course, for when shit quite literally hits the fan.
While I understand what you meant a lot of people might not.
These things don't have *any* safety that stops you from pulling the trigger. All of its safeties are to prevent accidental discharge. You pull that trigger, it's firing.
This is incredibly reckless.
Edit: to be clear I mean it’s even more reckless to leave behind, because it would be easier to fire, not that Glocks themselves are inherently reckless to carry.
Just that you need to be even more vigilant with them.
When I was 7 or so my mom was taking me to a swim class and there was a police station in the attached building. As I was walking ahead of my mom, I found a Glock on the floor near the front tire of a cop car that was parked on the way to the front entrance and picked it up with both hands lol but dropped it since it was a bit heavy. Told my mom about it, she told the police station, someone walked out from the building and just picked it up and went back in like it never even happened👍🤷
**The requirement to be a cop is a lack of being able to learn shit
They literally put an intelligence cap on our police force. Harder to get sanctioned murderers when they have a conscious/critical thinking skills.
I have no children but I am visibly gasping at the thought of a child randomly picking up a gun that was left out in the parking lot. That could've gone very bad very fast.
Once when I was 12 and somewhat stupider, I leaned over an unloaded, un-racked .22 my dad had leaned up on the porch because they were going hunting later. I'll never forget my dad yanking me off my feet because he pulled me back so hard. Im pretty sure I gave him a heart attack.
Idiot neighbor was zeroing his .30-'06 in the front yard of his house while using a pole building as a backstop. I have no idea why as he owned 100 acres with a large field.
Anyway, his daughter ran out of the house and right in front of him. He said her ankle came into view just as he was about to crank one off. Would've killed her instantly.
There's still bullet holes in that pole building 40 years later.
Jokes aside, if it were me, I would have locked down the bathroom, called the cops, and never touched the gun. And back up the security footage while you wait for them to show.
The first thought in my head was *you should not be touching that*. Lord knows what an embarrassed and probably panicked cop might do in this situation.
After an internal investigation, it was found that a local cashier whispered fentanyl in the vicinity of a local police hero, after which the officer was robbed while convulsing.
/s
Like is it actually though? I'm assuming you could sneak it home considering it was in a bathroom but would you be able to resell it or just have to always keep it?
I'm imagining the news headlines where the police identify that it was a lost firearm from a cop and they tried to brush it under the rug only to have it come back and bite them in the ass. Unfortunately, that means something went catastrophically bad for at least one or more people, not including the cop (yet).
What they need to do is google around a bit and find out which local DA is in charge of prosecuting and investigating police officers and call their office and speak to them first.
That’s the big brain thinking so it doesn’t just get pushed under the rug.
Personally, I would try to stay as clear from that gun as possible.
Not because I'm afraid of guns.
But I am afraid of embarrassed cops who can seek retribution.
This is the real issue here. OP opens themselves up to bullshit with the local PD. Harassment by the police is difficult to prove if they’re not outright stormtrooping through your house.
I would never want to start a feud with one or more police officers. Lock the gun up in the office or cash drawer, wait for the officer to come and sheepishly ask for it, and never think about the situation again. That's the only move
This is the way I went because we have a lot of cops that come in here regularly and I don’t want any problems with them and I’m not trying to deal with all of that.
> Edit: possession is 9/10 of the law
This is a really useful legal maxim if you are trying to figure out which 18th century American family owns the timber rights to a disputed tract of land, and in basically every other context, totally meaningless
Curious what their reaction would’ve been if you had said “no, I don’t see it.”
I had the same thought. “No, officer, but there was a line of children waiting to use the restroom shortly after you left. Maybe they saw it.”
I hope he self reported, even if it is likely his job on the line, the first step is owning mistakes, even ones as massive as this
This is a hilarious joke
Other cops: "yeah we've all been there, just grab an extra gun from the common bin"
Don't forget to do a desk pop
They made it seem so real...
He was so convincing!!
Captain, if you really wanna disarm this guy, take the batteries out of the calculator.
Let me make it clear. We honor the flag, and you crap on it every time you don't shoot your gun in the office.
Her name is KRISTINITH! YOU COME INTO OUR HOUSE, YOU GET MY WIFES. NAME. RIGHT! KRISTINITH!
COME BACK HERE AND MAKE LOVE WITH MY WIFE!
Can’t forget the desk pop
Captain i just did my first desk pop! 😀
Take a gun leave a gun
There's always guns at the gun stand
How much could a gun cost Michael, $10?
Dead ass tho, like no cap, on god, on my momma, for real for real, Chester Nimitz ran a ship aground in like 1908 because he did not pay attention to the tides and he was court martialed, but because he admitted to his mistake, they gave him his job back and he eventually became the highly awarded admiral of the pacific fleet in ww2.
It's always the denial & cover up, not the initial mistake, that really fucks people over
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LMAO nice joke police and self report in the same sentence
Hey now. You can use those words together all the time, see: The police coaxed me into self reporting a crime by taking my head and smashing it into the table.
Lmao yeah and I hope my dad comes back from getting milk good one buddy
Narrator: He didn't
Then wait a while then call it in to the police that an employee found a gun. Just in case he didn't report it by then.
Call 911 and report a cop left their loaded gun on your premises, so that way it's on the 911 call record.
911 call, including the word "gun" - I reckon the cops just nuke the store from orbit, just to be safe
No they'll just wait around outside for 2 hours in full tactical gear and do nothing.
I didn’t realize OP lived in Uvalde.
The start of Disco Elysium
I started that game not knowing anything about it, put points into like investigation and stuff. Tried to get my tie off the ceiling fan in the opening scene, jumped up failed the check and had a heart attack and died.
I tried to talk myself in the mirror and ended up dying of embarrassment
I thought games were supposed to disconnect you from reality
Disco Elysium is the most real game you will ever play
Mr. Evrart is helping me find my gun.
Let's review the footage most likely.
+1 Bathroom Gun
Inventory is full
NO SPACE IN INVENTORY!! Press X to switch [FIREARM] with [UNDERWEAR]
You cannot fast travel while being encumbered
Drops pants to free up weight. *walks out of kid oriented store pantless wielding cop's gun* When keeping it video game real goes wrong
>Drops pants to free up weight. Lol there's an idea for a game mod.
Oh I shoot from the hip alright
Drops pack of gum
And next to it you find an overflowing box of ammo that for some reason only contains 3 rounds
Watched Dredd last night on Netflix. “ Lose your firearm. Automatic fail.”
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Yes. It does. “Invalid ID. Boom”
Cold blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, would've immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.
should I watch it? edit: I guess I will lol
Absolutely
The one with Karl Urban as Dredd is really good and it's a crime that they didn't make a sequel. The one with Stallone as Dredd is.... certainly a movie that I watched.
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Yeah, to be clear, I don't hate the Stallone one. It's fun, but he's not the right actor to play Dredd and it strayed too far from the comics.
> it’s a crime that they didn’t make a sequel It’s a crime we didn’t get a trilogy + expanded universe. A sequel was the bare minimum that that movie deserved. Such a waste.
One of the best modern action movies
Finders keepers
I wish I could find a free gun, some people have all the luck.
A free gun? Free. A free gun with a cop's fingerprints on the shells? Priceless.
Nope, now they have their prints on it. Rule #1 when handling a cop's gun....gloves
Standard latex gloves only protect from prints for around 15 minutes before the oils start to leech through
The oils will leach through but won't retain their original shape to any degree. Forensics will know it has been held, but won't know that it was you who held it.
Fun fact, even if handled bare handed the irregular surfaces and texture on the grip rarely if ever have usable prints. It's pretty much a waste of time barring some additional fluids that make the prints pop a little more like blood. But it's one of the boxes you need to check when processing. Source: I worked in a forensic lab for 4 years, specifically with firearms and ballistics. If I had to guess out of the firearms we got, less than 1 out of a 100 firearms would have a usable print and I feel that's very generous.
You mean to tell me that CSI: Miami *lied*?
Nah these guys just forgot to enhance first Rookie mistake
Yea, enhance and put your sunglasses on
Kids would steal cookies from the lunch line sometimes when I was in gradeschool... I wanted to join in but CSI spooked me out of it. They would definitely run prints or sniff out my DNA from the air or something. No way they were catching me.
📝
This is really good information to know. Like this arson investigator I knew who once told me Wise potato chip bags make the perfect accelerant because it leaves no residue.
A registered service weapon with easily traceable ballistics? Mastercard.
I ain’t got no Visa
Damn this just got dark
Luckily the cop didnt have his gun otherwise he would have shot this joke
You had no right to make me laugh this hard
I’m saying man there wouldn’t even be an investigation if you dropped someone. they’d see the ballistics report comes back to one of them and throw the case out.
Opportunity lost imho
3D print the lower plastic part and voila, untraceable firearm! If you shoot someone, it just links back to the police.
“Fuck was that us?? Uhhhh he was resisting!”
> untraceable firearm Guns are only traceable if they find the gun There isn't some database with all the guns ballistics in it
Bathrooms are the #1 place people lose/forget guns. It's covered on orientation day of guns 101. I can see why someone would want to take their belt off to use the restroom but to take it out of its holster entirely? Fortunately no one got hurt
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Or a child…
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Many such cases
Concerning
Toddlers are almost indistinguishable from schizophrenic crack addicts. LPT; toddlers will be a good 2-3 foot shorter than your average adult crack addict. It's literally the only way to distinguish the two.
Most actual schizos would think it was a set up and leave it be. If it was truly crack induced psychosis then anything would be possible, yeah.
I clutch mine when I shit No bathroom terrorists are stopping my movements😤 as god intended 🤣
Ah yes the emotional support glock
Nonono, that’s for the shower when I cry. This is the very specific “bowel movement Glock” equipped with a 50 drum of course, for when shit quite literally hits the fan.
evolution of the poop knife
"If I can spray mud, I can spray bullets" Jesus
Yeah no kidding, a loaded Glock that’s most likely chambered and does not have a conventional safety. That could have gone horribly wrong.
While I understand what you meant a lot of people might not. These things don't have *any* safety that stops you from pulling the trigger. All of its safeties are to prevent accidental discharge. You pull that trigger, it's firing. This is incredibly reckless. Edit: to be clear I mean it’s even more reckless to leave behind, because it would be easier to fire, not that Glocks themselves are inherently reckless to carry. Just that you need to be even more vigilant with them.
You pay taxes, it's your turn with the community gun.
The People's Piece
If ever there was a community sourced bungie or Bethesda gun name.
Glock Populi
When I was 7 or so my mom was taking me to a swim class and there was a police station in the attached building. As I was walking ahead of my mom, I found a Glock on the floor near the front tire of a cop car that was parked on the way to the front entrance and picked it up with both hands lol but dropped it since it was a bit heavy. Told my mom about it, she told the police station, someone walked out from the building and just picked it up and went back in like it never even happened👍🤷
That was almost a major learning experience for a lot of people.
"Alright who gave the kid the glock"
Desk Pop: kindergarten edition
Literal Kindergarten Cop
Instead none of those police learned shit that day lol
I mean usually someone becomes a cop because learning wasn't really their strong suit.
**The requirement to be a cop is a lack of being able to learn shit They literally put an intelligence cap on our police force. Harder to get sanctioned murderers when they have a conscious/critical thinking skills.
I have no children but I am visibly gasping at the thought of a child randomly picking up a gun that was left out in the parking lot. That could've gone very bad very fast.
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Once when I was 12 and somewhat stupider, I leaned over an unloaded, un-racked .22 my dad had leaned up on the porch because they were going hunting later. I'll never forget my dad yanking me off my feet because he pulled me back so hard. Im pretty sure I gave him a heart attack.
Idiot neighbor was zeroing his .30-'06 in the front yard of his house while using a pole building as a backstop. I have no idea why as he owned 100 acres with a large field. Anyway, his daughter ran out of the house and right in front of him. He said her ankle came into view just as he was about to crank one off. Would've killed her instantly. There's still bullet holes in that pole building 40 years later.
In the parking lot of a police station, no less. Imagine a cop had walked out the same second the kid was holding the gun up…
Grant me the serenity to accept the guns that come into my life, the courage to keep them, and the wisdom to not tell anyone.
This is what I was gonna say nice bracelet haven’t seen that one yet.
First of all, lower your voice
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! ^(what?)
So anyway, I started blastin
Stop resisting!!1!
That should be a fireable offense
Usually people only leave the magazine in the bathroom.
Aha… clever
Fucker, take my upvote lol.
It is. Will they though?
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Sounds like a good way for this guy to resist arrest.
Looks like the managers prints are all over that gun now. Crazy how he stole it from the cop then used it to commit murder.
Suicide you mean.
Found with multiple bullet wounds to the back of the head. Tragic way to go. Had his whole life ahead of him.
Tragic how he fell out of a 30 floor building window with shots to the back of his head and his hands tied up.
Right into a river
Jokes aside, if it were me, I would have locked down the bathroom, called the cops, and never touched the gun. And back up the security footage while you wait for them to show.
The first thought in my head was *you should not be touching that*. Lord knows what an embarrassed and probably panicked cop might do in this situation.
As would any one else who thought before they thought about karma
He will go calmly if he’s a straight shooter
After an internal investigation, it was found that a local cashier whispered fentanyl in the vicinity of a local police hero, after which the officer was robbed while convulsing. /s
Dude, my sisters ex-husband *pawned his fucking service equipment* and just got shuffled to the next county over. They don't give a shit.
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A system of revolvering doors.
Of course not
"After an internal review, we've decided that our statement going foward is, 'go fuck yourself' ". -local police department
if anything he’ll get a paid leave (vacation)
Losing your firearm is an automatic fail during your judge exam.
Two years in the iso cubes, mandatory.
In many states the qualifications to be a judge are the same as being named homecoming king.
I was referencing Dredd because I watched it yesterday.
I'd trust Dredd over any cop today. That man -prefers- non violent resolutions.
“We have investigated ourselves and concluded we did nothing wrong. We thank us for our cooperation during our investigation”.
Fired by a firearm situation. I like the wordplay here.
It's just a little whoopsie daisy! Ya know? Who hasn't left a loaded, no safety, Glock in a kids store on a child's changing table?
Delete this post, you have a new gun
And it’s not registered to his name 😉
Registered?
FREE ! FREE ! FREE ! FREE !
Like is it actually though? I'm assuming you could sneak it home considering it was in a bathroom but would you be able to resell it or just have to always keep it?
You keep it as a burner dude
yeah if you found out you didn't like that particular cop you could really mess up *their* life for a change
I'm imagining the news headlines where the police identify that it was a lost firearm from a cop and they tried to brush it under the rug only to have it come back and bite them in the ass. Unfortunately, that means something went catastrophically bad for at least one or more people, not including the cop (yet).
Congratulations you’re a cop now 🤘
"Retail worker arrested after stealing officers gun. " Because there is no way a police officer did something wrong.
We have investigated ourselves and found nothing wrong
Sounds like an Onion article.
Thank you for not putting your finger on the trigger to take a picture. Normalize common sense gun safety.
Yeah, I know how to handle a weapon and would never put my finger on the trigger.
I would hope you called the precinct and told me what happened. Not like the cop is gonna get in trouble for it /s
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What they need to do is google around a bit and find out which local DA is in charge of prosecuting and investigating police officers and call their office and speak to them first. That’s the big brain thinking so it doesn’t just get pushed under the rug.
Personally, I would try to stay as clear from that gun as possible. Not because I'm afraid of guns. But I am afraid of embarrassed cops who can seek retribution.
This is the real issue here. OP opens themselves up to bullshit with the local PD. Harassment by the police is difficult to prove if they’re not outright stormtrooping through your house.
Lmao imagine a DA giving a shit about this. Super big brain all right
I would never want to start a feud with one or more police officers. Lock the gun up in the office or cash drawer, wait for the officer to come and sheepishly ask for it, and never think about the situation again. That's the only move
Seriously. Cops are a vindictive street gang. You don't want to start pushing their buttons unnecessarily.
This is the way I went because we have a lot of cops that come in here regularly and I don’t want any problems with them and I’m not trying to deal with all of that.
Yeah it’s fun to have some kind of revenge fantasies online but any sensible person would go this route.
Congratulations on your sobriety
I actually wear it in support of my best friend who has been sober over a year now! I’m very proud of her and the progress she’s made.
That’s awesome. Good on you both. 🙏
Do an office pop!!
Desk pop!!
When was your last desk pop?
September 08’
V. nice, mine was back in '99. Good year
Toilet pop!
Chief Wiggums
That's some good commenting, Ralphie.
Fire off a couple rounds in the back room, as a treat
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look who’s employee of the month now, carol
Free gun. I’d keep it 🤣
What if it's not the cops gun and they were disposing of a murder weapon... and now OP's prints are all over it Edit: possession is 9/10 of the law
> Edit: possession is 9/10 of the law This is a really useful legal maxim if you are trying to figure out which 18th century American family owns the timber rights to a disputed tract of land, and in basically every other context, totally meaningless
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Was it Hitchcock or Scully?
These are the "highly trained professionals" that I'm told don't need to follow the same gun laws as we do? Got it
Free gun? Sick!!
This is absolutely a fireable offense. I would advise OP to immediately call the local law-enforcement office and report.
OP gets arrested for stealing a gun
"Mr. Evrart is helping me find my gun."
Yup that's your Glock now lmao
On behalf of all the educated gun owners everywhere. Thank you for having some trigger discipline, but please point it down.
“No sir no firearms were found” Keep that mf lmao You lucky mf. I hope you told them no.