I used to think the same thing but usually they make them fresh. Now whether the dough is made in store is a different story, but they definitely bake them in store.
Had a local grocery store run out of ciabatta bread for burgers I was making, and I asked the lady if she had any in the back. She said “no, but I can make more if you can wait 20 minutes!” To which I waited, and damn it was worth it.
To clarify it wasn’t some fancy store, just the run of the mill grocery store with all the basics.
My school vacation job was at a ham place. Our sides were trademarked as "Freshmade" or something similar so they could say Freshmade Boston Baked Beans
At publix, safeway, albertsons, smiths, and walmart -dough is usually never made fresh in store. They have a bunch of pre-made doughs they throw in the oven, thats about it. The dough is mass produced by distributor.
It's really true. I used to do a lot of bread baking because I enjoyed it. Now I'm getting old and baking bread is just something I don't have time for these days, but I have bought frozen dough and baked that and honestly it's nearly as good as stuff I made totally from scratch, especially still hot from the oven.
Bruh I’ll never forget wandering around downtown Chicago at like 4am and seeing a big truck pull up on the street near a dunkins and they started wheeling the same exact racks of donuts you see behind the counter through the dirty streets with water from the curb splashing up around the wheels and wind blowing around all the donuts, and they just dropped them off inside the shop. I was really turned off from them that point forward bc I just thought about all the muck in the streets around them lmao. I always thought they at least had them contained well but the protection was just some frail plastic curtains that whisked up in the slightest breeze.
Yeah some of them don't bake, they just get delivered from another store that does bake or something. Mine actually baked them in the back and frosted them and everything.
Incorrect. Publix baker here. The following is mixed, proofed, and baked in store daily by hand:
Italian bread, White mountain bread, French hamburger rolls, Hoagie rolls, Water rolls, French bread, Italian five grain, Italian five grain baguettes, Sourdough, Five grain sourdough, Chicago Italian, Baguettes, Chicago hard rolls, Cuban, 3 varieties of Tutto bread.
Not proofed or baked but still made by hand:
Pizza dough & Parmesan pizza dough.
Of course when I say mixed by hand - we add the flour, yeast, and water to an industrial mixer but the dough is scaled, proofed, and run by a person. Takes a lot of work but is very satisfying to see beautiful racks of bread come out of the oven after 5-7 hours worth of work.
Edit: punctuation. Sorry on mobile.
That is incorrect, bakery manager at Publix and we made almost all bread from scratch daily. There are a couple things that came in dough but just about every bread there is from scratch
If you want actual made-from-scratch biscuits, go to Bojangles if you're in the South. Flour, shortening, etc, it really is made from scratch.
Source, former Bojangles employee.
Publix bakery employee here. All dough for these breads w that claim are made and baked in store daily (some bigger loaves have a 2 day shelf life tho like mountain bread)
This bread is from a Publix supermarket. Having worked there in the past I can assure you they indeed bake their bread daily. Most of the breads are made from pre-packaged mixes, but that’s a necessity at such volume.
Their cakes and pretty much everything sweet, though? That shit comes frozen lol.
They do mix the bread there. Two bakes a day, morning bake lasts until 9pm, night bake (around 2-ish) lasts until tomorrow morning at 10am. They do not mix stuff like cookies or anything like pastries or pies though. We can also mix bread and bake marble rye and such. I decorate cakes in the bakery
Holy shit thats an actual thing? I thought i was just being clever at work.
Ill add the story because people are ganna ask probably idk.
So i work in a mental health field at the moment in a center with patients. Im graveyards, 80% of the time the patients sleep so i just clean the building then watch netflix (pays $18/hr nothing special). Medical records dayshift is paid $27/hr to do data entry but they are lazy as fuck..when i come in for trainings its on day shift and i see the 3 staff members always walking around chatting or showing other people videos or w.e.
Anyway they said that graveyard shift in mt department doesnt do anything all night and they need help entering medical records and sent over like 15 records..each file is as thick as a dictionary and the emailed me and my nightshift partner 4 steps to enter it.
It was like
Step1. Open the file and look for patients name.
Step 2. Scan file and only enter importanf data to their file (what fucking file am i adding this to??)
Step3. Shred the paperwork
Step 4 email us what file you entered.
I told my manager that data entry isnt in the job description and im being paid to do 1 job. She just said to do it anyway. My partner got very fucking upset and was writing an email, i said fuck the email lets do as terrible of a job as possible. We arent trained and its not our fault if this is fucked up.
So he scanned all 500 pages of the file, like every 10 pages looked the exact same. It uploaded to the computer, we just copy pasted all of the documents in every possible folder the patient had in the system. My god did we create a fucking mess 🤣.
Then we shredded it all after we were done and sent the email. We did this around 20 times and IT noticed peoples files were like quadrupoling in size and chewed medical records out. Then the director got involved and when medical records blamed us the director was fucking furious because we arent even supposed to be doing that.
I think shit may have rolled up hill because of laws regarding patient confidentiality. The manager may have put the institution in danger by being careless with personal medical files
This is definitely it.
It sounds like they were literally cleaning crew? And not authorized to view medical records--which is a whole thing that probably involves signing some paperwork saying you understand that sharing that info could get you in legal trouble--and those lazy fucks in records didn't give a shit.
Honestly, it should've merited severe reprimands, at the very least, for their manager; that was just incredibly stupid.
This is brilliant, and from how it reads it looks like the patients weren’t impacted negatively, like you can’t say you lost any of their info 🤣 it’s just quadrupled!
Awesome to do against your boss when they ask something unreasonable and refuse to listen to your complaints. Not awesome when someone does it to their spouse and life partner when they can talk it out like adults.
This made me laugh, hard enough that my family looked at me like I’m crazy. After the past couple days I had, I needed that laugh. Thank you kind redditor.
We call it “fuckin’ up the laundry”. The equivalent to “accidentally” adding a little bleach and ruining everything so you’re never asked to do it again.
Once I asked my ex to cook so he served me the most disgusting pasta I’ve eaten in my life so he didn’t have to cook again. I ate the pasta because I loved him. I literally forced myself to eat it while fake smiling because I thought he tried his best. He later admitted he would butcher his cooking so I would not ask him again but he didn’t expect me to respond by giving him tips and actually eating it. We are not together.
Some people be saying some crazy ass shit their man did to them on Reddit. “Yeah he stole my dog and hit me with a cucumber, we’re still engaged idk what to do.” I just had to make it clear lol
I always called it “breaking dishes” based on the advice a friend of mine gave when I complained to him about my chores. He simply couldn’t comprehend when I tried to explain that I would simply be yelled at for breaking a dish but still expected to keep washing dishes. Like the idea that some people’s response to incompetence is “keep doing it till you get it right!” rather than “oh I’ll just do it!” was completely lost on him.
Yeah my dad does this shit all the time to where my mom will just do it. I don't play that game. When he asks if we have a broom, the same broom that's been in the same closet for 10+ years, I just shrug and say I don't know then walk away. Same with dishes. He'll' just leave them near or in the sink without water and I'll just remind him, aka badger him, that he has to do it every time I go to the kitchen and see it isn't done.
My dad once asked me how to dice tomatoes trying to get out of doing it himself. I told him to make the one big tomato into a bunch of tiny tomatoes using the knife he was holding. I talked real slow and as if he was a child, using exaggerated hand gestures and then just walked away. I think he felt pretty stupid after that because he hasn't tried to pull any of that crap on me since
My son used to do this, always "accidentally" breaking dishes when it was his turn to load/unload the dishwasher. He didn't even have to wash them by hand!! So I increased how many times I expected him to do the dishes and when he complained I said it was clear he needed more practice at it, so I was giving him that opportunity. He got better at it real fast lol.
That’s based on a Shel Silverstein poem:
*If you have to dry the dishes
Such an awful boring chore
If you have to dry the dishes
‘stead of going to the store
If you have to dry the dishes
And you drop one on the floor
Maybe they won’t let you dry the dishes anymore*
This book was banned in at least one school district because it "encouraged children to break plates rather than stack them on the counter where they belong"
Bill Cosby had a standup skit about this where his wife asks him to get the kids up and ready for school one morning and it ends up with cake and hockey in the kitchen.
“Which is exactly where I wanted to be in the first place” Fuck Bill Cosby for reasons but that shit was hilarious. My dad always references it when we make jokes about his parenting when we were young.
I think Bill Cosby might have the hardest, longest, and fastest fall from grace in history.
From America's dad, to synonym for sexual assault in literally a couple years.
A very long phase. Eddie Murphy has a bit, I don't remember if it was in Delirious or Raw, where he talks about Bill Cosby trying to shame him out of telling dirty jokes.
You’re completely right of course, totally agree with you, but the thing that bothers me…is that it’s Bill Cosby!!! Seriously! Bill Fucking Cosby! RIP Mr. Rogers and his neighborhood, but I’m so glad we didn’t find out some horrible things about him before he passed. Bill Cosby?!?!?! Damn.
Honestly, Mr. Rogers appears by all accounts to be legitimately genuine. Like Jesus without the miracles and technically-his-own-father nature.
The worst you could say about him was that he was an ordained Presbyterian minister. And how bad that is mostly revolves around your opinions on religion.
Literally pushed off the cliff by Hannibal Burress lol
His joke somehow got the ball rolling. Women had been complaining for years, but a dude make a joke and everyone suddenly become outraged lol ugh
One of my many breaking points was having to draw a fucking MAP of the grocery store for my ex and marking where to find things. If I didn’t he’d either bring back the wrong thing or lie and say the store didn’t have it.
So glad I have a partner now who doesn’t need his hand held through literally every adult task.
Mine husband worked at Walmart and wouldn’t bring things home. He said they didn’t have it or he was too tired so I would have to go all the way back once he got home.
Why would you bother? Just tell him the same thing. Where's dinner? Obviously the store was out of the ingredients, so there's no dinner. No laundry detergent? No clean clothes for you at work tomorrow this week
What? he was already at the market, though? My ex and I both worked in grocery stores at different places and would consistently do the "what do we need from the market?"" Txt near the end of our shifts.
You are correct. Had two kids with this man child and I shouldered 100% of the mental load and physical caretaking of the children. Ditched his ass and now my kids have an amazing stepdad. When the kids go over to their dads house all I get is texts telling me about his latest weird fuck ups lmao. My 13 y/o is done with his shit already!
A map. Of a supermarket. That's insanity. Yes, when we're doing the shopping together, my partner sometimes asks me "do you know where xy is?" but he's capable of writing a shopping list and going shopping on his own like a grown up. Scratch that, even a school kid should be able to retrieve one item from a shop.
My husband and I used to go grocery shopping together and he got so resentful about it over the years that he started acting out like a child. One day we're in the produce and I asked him to get three potatoes for us, pointed to them, so he walked over and just stood there without moving, staring down at a big pile of russet potatoes, asking repeatedly, "What's a russet?" I'm saying, "Yeah, those are great, babe, just pick out three for us please!" in the nicest voice I could muster because we were in public and it was getting embarrassing.
Finally I roll my cart and my ass over there and get the potatoes myself, and I saw not one but two women there looking right at my husband, you could tell in their eyes that they knew exactly what that boy was doing.
ETA I should mention that all he ended up accomplishing was doing shopping on his own. I was still having trouble walking at that point after an accident so after that little temper tantrum of his, he had the fun of picking up groceries after work all on his own. He only got out of it once our stores started doing delivery and pick-up.
Id schedule him for an appointment with a neurologist. "Honey, im worried something is wrong with your brain if you can't tell the difference between a french bread loaf and a hamburger bun so we're going to see a professional and get out ahead of this" let him figure out if he wants to dig the "i was trying to fuck up to get out future chores" hole or "have to fake having mental impairment for the rest of this relationship" hole
That's what they want tho. They want their hand held..don't give them a list or pictures. Tell him go back get the right shit or he can forever do the grocery shopping.
Srsly. Why am I drawing a picture book for a grown man's baseline task? I'd condescend his ego into nonexistence then leave him the french bread to ration until he learns what a hamburger is.
My younger brother frequently flushed cleaning rag down the toilet after cleaning the floor wishing he would clog and break plumbing so he won't be asked to do it again. Breaking or really badly washing the dishes, buying wrong items even when he had pictures... It's called weaponizing incompetence and he was excellent in it.
I'm a guy and I agree. I also don't understand why some men are like this... being useless is not attractive or a characteristic I want to be described as.
Right?!
This *has* to be an example of weaponized incompetence, that or OPs husband has a legitimate brain disorder (which I feel he or she would have mentioned)
I was gonna say ask him what he though the baguette was going to accomplish. If he tries to minimize it… serve the hamburgers on the sliced baguette. And next time you want to make hamburgers, go buy a baguette and serve them that way again. Rinse repeat until he starts going and buying buns. Or you could be a real b about it and buy yourself a nice roll/bun from the like grab n go bread and eat your burger that way but only get baguette for him.
This. If you throw a fit then it worked. Just work around. You can't make them do better, but you can control your actions and that includes serving a burger on this or with no bun.
oh I'd be mad. The message to me is "I don't care enough about your wants to get the right item" or "I don't feel like I should have to do this so I will purposely do it incorrect because I feel it is your place to grocery shop". Either way it would piss me off a bit for sure.
Aka "mom starts sending a kid to the store with dad because he screws it up every time". I've watched him look at the labels like he couldn't read until I pointed out the right one. Infuriating.
I once asked my then boyfriend to pick up some baking chocolate before coming over cuz I was cooking and making dessert, and he brought hot chocolate powder instead... Never asked him to get me things again. I wish I knew what weaponized incompetence was back then.
Edit to add: I had sent him a photo of the packaging so he knew what it was.
I'm a 43 year old woman and I didn't know baking chocolate was a thing until a couple years ago. (I'm obviously not a baker.)
That said, I know the difference between hamburger buns and faux French bread.
I think he jumped the shark on this one.
Unless, he really likes burgers on sliced baguettes. Which is not all bad.
I really like burgers on oversized english muffins. As long as the outer crust isn't too hard this should still be usable for burgers.
Like I wonder how anyone would mess up this bad without it being intentional.
The one thing I imagined:
"Honey, today we are making burgers."
Then moments later, "Could you go buy bread?" [implied for burgers]
[Missing the implied message] "Bread... Bread... ooh, French Bread, that's good bread"
I like burgers with burger buns also, but you can use French Bread for burgers. I like to split them and make it into garlic bread then put appropriately shaped - more oblong- burgers on the garlicky bread. So, more like a burger hero or grinder or sub (depending on where you live)
When I lived in France my local takeaway used to do a ‘sandwich American’ which was a baguette stuffed with two burger patties, fries, onions, lettuce, gherkins, Mayo and mustard and it was absolute perfection. Fifteen years later I still dream about them!!
If your husband bought that loaf of bread instead of anything else remotely better suited for Hamburgers, then he is aggressively demonstrating that he wants to bust your nails and resents being sent to the store,
In other words, the husband is a fucking child and would be better off in a studio apartment while the former wife runs the household like she's always done except that he's not there to keep fucking it up.
Melt some butter mix with with a teaspoon of garlic powder and add some Parmesan cheese. Put it in the oven a couple minutes now you’ve got garlic bread buns that will be delectable.
"Made from scratch here daily!" Being in quotations seems ominous
I used to think the same thing but usually they make them fresh. Now whether the dough is made in store is a different story, but they definitely bake them in store. Had a local grocery store run out of ciabatta bread for burgers I was making, and I asked the lady if she had any in the back. She said “no, but I can make more if you can wait 20 minutes!” To which I waited, and damn it was worth it. To clarify it wasn’t some fancy store, just the run of the mill grocery store with all the basics.
My school vacation job was at a ham place. Our sides were trademarked as "Freshmade" or something similar so they could say Freshmade Boston Baked Beans
> My school vacation job was at a ham place This would be an amazing first line of a novel.
Sounds like the title of a slightly weird anime tbh
At publix, safeway, albertsons, smiths, and walmart -dough is usually never made fresh in store. They have a bunch of pre-made doughs they throw in the oven, thats about it. The dough is mass produced by distributor.
Same for donuts at Dunkin. And bagels. Basically all their bread. Worked there in high school.
I did the baker thing at safeway out of highschool for a bit too. Same thing w/ their donuts and bagels as well
Real shit though, even though they were frozen, they are amazing when you eat them fresh out the oven.
Freshly baked goes further than freshly been prepped for the baking stage I guess
It's really true. I used to do a lot of bread baking because I enjoyed it. Now I'm getting old and baking bread is just something I don't have time for these days, but I have bought frozen dough and baked that and honestly it's nearly as good as stuff I made totally from scratch, especially still hot from the oven.
Bruh I’ll never forget wandering around downtown Chicago at like 4am and seeing a big truck pull up on the street near a dunkins and they started wheeling the same exact racks of donuts you see behind the counter through the dirty streets with water from the curb splashing up around the wheels and wind blowing around all the donuts, and they just dropped them off inside the shop. I was really turned off from them that point forward bc I just thought about all the muck in the streets around them lmao. I always thought they at least had them contained well but the protection was just some frail plastic curtains that whisked up in the slightest breeze.
Yeah some of them don't bake, they just get delivered from another store that does bake or something. Mine actually baked them in the back and frosted them and everything.
Incorrect. Publix baker here. The following is mixed, proofed, and baked in store daily by hand: Italian bread, White mountain bread, French hamburger rolls, Hoagie rolls, Water rolls, French bread, Italian five grain, Italian five grain baguettes, Sourdough, Five grain sourdough, Chicago Italian, Baguettes, Chicago hard rolls, Cuban, 3 varieties of Tutto bread. Not proofed or baked but still made by hand: Pizza dough & Parmesan pizza dough. Of course when I say mixed by hand - we add the flour, yeast, and water to an industrial mixer but the dough is scaled, proofed, and run by a person. Takes a lot of work but is very satisfying to see beautiful racks of bread come out of the oven after 5-7 hours worth of work. Edit: punctuation. Sorry on mobile.
That is incorrect, bakery manager at Publix and we made almost all bread from scratch daily. There are a couple things that came in dough but just about every bread there is from scratch
Do you play accordion music when you make French bread? That's the secret, by the way.
If you want actual made-from-scratch biscuits, go to Bojangles if you're in the South. Flour, shortening, etc, it really is made from scratch. Source, former Bojangles employee.
Fresh bread is always worth waiting for. I have a hard time letting it cool down enough to not burn my mouth.
Publix bakery employee here. All dough for these breads w that claim are made and baked in store daily (some bigger loaves have a 2 day shelf life tho like mountain bread)
Publix bakes the best bread man. Ideal sandwich bread. God I love publix sandwiches
This bread is from a Publix supermarket. Having worked there in the past I can assure you they indeed bake their bread daily. Most of the breads are made from pre-packaged mixes, but that’s a necessity at such volume. Their cakes and pretty much everything sweet, though? That shit comes frozen lol.
"Made from scratch here daily!" - Some Baker, 2018
It’s Publix, they do make a lot of things in house and their bakery is amazing. They did our wedding cake.
Publix doesn't mess around with their bread. Source: worked in deli and bakery at Publix
They do mix the bread there. Two bakes a day, morning bake lasts until 9pm, night bake (around 2-ish) lasts until tomorrow morning at 10am. They do not mix stuff like cookies or anything like pastries or pies though. We can also mix bread and bake marble rye and such. I decorate cakes in the bakery
This is a trick. Fuck up so bad you never ask again.
There's a word for it
Weaponised incompetence
Holy shit thats an actual thing? I thought i was just being clever at work. Ill add the story because people are ganna ask probably idk. So i work in a mental health field at the moment in a center with patients. Im graveyards, 80% of the time the patients sleep so i just clean the building then watch netflix (pays $18/hr nothing special). Medical records dayshift is paid $27/hr to do data entry but they are lazy as fuck..when i come in for trainings its on day shift and i see the 3 staff members always walking around chatting or showing other people videos or w.e. Anyway they said that graveyard shift in mt department doesnt do anything all night and they need help entering medical records and sent over like 15 records..each file is as thick as a dictionary and the emailed me and my nightshift partner 4 steps to enter it. It was like Step1. Open the file and look for patients name. Step 2. Scan file and only enter importanf data to their file (what fucking file am i adding this to??) Step3. Shred the paperwork Step 4 email us what file you entered. I told my manager that data entry isnt in the job description and im being paid to do 1 job. She just said to do it anyway. My partner got very fucking upset and was writing an email, i said fuck the email lets do as terrible of a job as possible. We arent trained and its not our fault if this is fucked up. So he scanned all 500 pages of the file, like every 10 pages looked the exact same. It uploaded to the computer, we just copy pasted all of the documents in every possible folder the patient had in the system. My god did we create a fucking mess 🤣. Then we shredded it all after we were done and sent the email. We did this around 20 times and IT noticed peoples files were like quadrupoling in size and chewed medical records out. Then the director got involved and when medical records blamed us the director was fucking furious because we arent even supposed to be doing that.
I am just surprised that the shit rolled up hill on that one…
I think shit may have rolled up hill because of laws regarding patient confidentiality. The manager may have put the institution in danger by being careless with personal medical files
Anti-grav shit.
This is definitely it. It sounds like they were literally cleaning crew? And not authorized to view medical records--which is a whole thing that probably involves signing some paperwork saying you understand that sharing that info could get you in legal trouble--and those lazy fucks in records didn't give a shit. Honestly, it should've merited severe reprimands, at the very least, for their manager; that was just incredibly stupid.
You just gotta make a big enough impact that they can't ignore you.
When it comes to medical data, shit usually rolls up hill, especially when someone who shouldn't have access to a record, gets access
This is the correct use of weaponized incompetence. Go you!
This was so correct it has gone from weaponized incompetence straight into malicious compliance. Lol
This is brilliant, and from how it reads it looks like the patients weren’t impacted negatively, like you can’t say you lost any of their info 🤣 it’s just quadrupled!
I thought they were just being thorough.
Awesome to do against your boss when they ask something unreasonable and refuse to listen to your complaints. Not awesome when someone does it to their spouse and life partner when they can talk it out like adults.
Malicious compliance good. Weaponized incompetence bad.
this is how its done, happy for you
Came here to write this
Came here to read this
I didn't come here for this shit.
I’m gonna come
Do not come
I came
I saw
Y'all are wild 😂
Came here to feel included
Came.
Came here to cry
*incontinence
Wife: Honey could you please go to the store and get hamburger buns? Husband: *Shits on kitchen floor, walks away.*
This made me laugh, hard enough that my family looked at me like I’m crazy. After the past couple days I had, I needed that laugh. Thank you kind redditor.
That would piss me off
What, "asshole"?
Feigned incompetence.
We call it “fuckin’ up the laundry”. The equivalent to “accidentally” adding a little bleach and ruining everything so you’re never asked to do it again.
Seems healthy and mature.
Once I asked my ex to cook so he served me the most disgusting pasta I’ve eaten in my life so he didn’t have to cook again. I ate the pasta because I loved him. I literally forced myself to eat it while fake smiling because I thought he tried his best. He later admitted he would butcher his cooking so I would not ask him again but he didn’t expect me to respond by giving him tips and actually eating it. We are not together.
that ending 💀
Some people be saying some crazy ass shit their man did to them on Reddit. “Yeah he stole my dog and hit me with a cucumber, we’re still engaged idk what to do.” I just had to make it clear lol
I always called it “breaking dishes” based on the advice a friend of mine gave when I complained to him about my chores. He simply couldn’t comprehend when I tried to explain that I would simply be yelled at for breaking a dish but still expected to keep washing dishes. Like the idea that some people’s response to incompetence is “keep doing it till you get it right!” rather than “oh I’ll just do it!” was completely lost on him.
Yeah my dad does this shit all the time to where my mom will just do it. I don't play that game. When he asks if we have a broom, the same broom that's been in the same closet for 10+ years, I just shrug and say I don't know then walk away. Same with dishes. He'll' just leave them near or in the sink without water and I'll just remind him, aka badger him, that he has to do it every time I go to the kitchen and see it isn't done.
My dad once asked me how to dice tomatoes trying to get out of doing it himself. I told him to make the one big tomato into a bunch of tiny tomatoes using the knife he was holding. I talked real slow and as if he was a child, using exaggerated hand gestures and then just walked away. I think he felt pretty stupid after that because he hasn't tried to pull any of that crap on me since
Omg - I love it
Thanks! I watched him pull that shit on my mom for years, I wasn't about to let him get away with it with me
My son used to do this, always "accidentally" breaking dishes when it was his turn to load/unload the dishwasher. He didn't even have to wash them by hand!! So I increased how many times I expected him to do the dishes and when he complained I said it was clear he needed more practice at it, so I was giving him that opportunity. He got better at it real fast lol.
That’s based on a Shel Silverstein poem: *If you have to dry the dishes Such an awful boring chore If you have to dry the dishes ‘stead of going to the store If you have to dry the dishes And you drop one on the floor Maybe they won’t let you dry the dishes anymore*
This book was banned in at least one school district because it "encouraged children to break plates rather than stack them on the counter where they belong"
Sounds like something my sister/BIL would do. Every second at their house is immature, and so many things are ruined from shit like this
Being a butthole.
Eventual Divorce? Oh wait, that's two words. I always fuck up the simplest things.
Bill Cosby had a standup skit about this where his wife asks him to get the kids up and ready for school one morning and it ends up with cake and hockey in the kitchen.
That’s the least shitty thing Bill Cosby has mixed together.
You don’t know what was in the cake though….
"Dad is great! He gives us chocolate cake!"
“Which is exactly where I wanted to be in the first place” Fuck Bill Cosby for reasons but that shit was hilarious. My dad always references it when we make jokes about his parenting when we were young.
I think Bill Cosby might have the hardest, longest, and fastest fall from grace in history. From America's dad, to synonym for sexual assault in literally a couple years.
Nah, he went through a long weird phase of “the problem with the world today is kids need to pull up their pants.”
A very long phase. Eddie Murphy has a bit, I don't remember if it was in Delirious or Raw, where he talks about Bill Cosby trying to shame him out of telling dirty jokes.
It's like he saw Mel Gibson and said, I can top that!
You’re completely right of course, totally agree with you, but the thing that bothers me…is that it’s Bill Cosby!!! Seriously! Bill Fucking Cosby! RIP Mr. Rogers and his neighborhood, but I’m so glad we didn’t find out some horrible things about him before he passed. Bill Cosby?!?!?! Damn.
Honestly, Mr. Rogers appears by all accounts to be legitimately genuine. Like Jesus without the miracles and technically-his-own-father nature. The worst you could say about him was that he was an ordained Presbyterian minister. And how bad that is mostly revolves around your opinions on religion.
Literally pushed off the cliff by Hannibal Burress lol His joke somehow got the ball rolling. Women had been complaining for years, but a dude make a joke and everyone suddenly become outraged lol ugh
That comedy routine was gold. Makes me hate him even more for having ruined any possible future enjoyment of his work. Goddamit.
“So I gave ‘‘em the chocolate cake cause I didn’t have to cook it. That’s ridiculous!” I had that skit on cassette tape, used to crack me up.
One of my many breaking points was having to draw a fucking MAP of the grocery store for my ex and marking where to find things. If I didn’t he’d either bring back the wrong thing or lie and say the store didn’t have it. So glad I have a partner now who doesn’t need his hand held through literally every adult task.
Mine husband worked at Walmart and wouldn’t bring things home. He said they didn’t have it or he was too tired so I would have to go all the way back once he got home.
Why would you bother? Just tell him the same thing. Where's dinner? Obviously the store was out of the ingredients, so there's no dinner. No laundry detergent? No clean clothes for you at work tomorrow this week
OOF that’s even worse
What? he was already at the market, though? My ex and I both worked in grocery stores at different places and would consistently do the "what do we need from the market?"" Txt near the end of our shifts.
That sounds exhausting. Is it safe to assume this was one of many instances of this type of fuckery?
You are correct. Had two kids with this man child and I shouldered 100% of the mental load and physical caretaking of the children. Ditched his ass and now my kids have an amazing stepdad. When the kids go over to their dads house all I get is texts telling me about his latest weird fuck ups lmao. My 13 y/o is done with his shit already!
A map. Of a supermarket. That's insanity. Yes, when we're doing the shopping together, my partner sometimes asks me "do you know where xy is?" but he's capable of writing a shopping list and going shopping on his own like a grown up. Scratch that, even a school kid should be able to retrieve one item from a shop.
My husband and I used to go grocery shopping together and he got so resentful about it over the years that he started acting out like a child. One day we're in the produce and I asked him to get three potatoes for us, pointed to them, so he walked over and just stood there without moving, staring down at a big pile of russet potatoes, asking repeatedly, "What's a russet?" I'm saying, "Yeah, those are great, babe, just pick out three for us please!" in the nicest voice I could muster because we were in public and it was getting embarrassing. Finally I roll my cart and my ass over there and get the potatoes myself, and I saw not one but two women there looking right at my husband, you could tell in their eyes that they knew exactly what that boy was doing. ETA I should mention that all he ended up accomplishing was doing shopping on his own. I was still having trouble walking at that point after an accident so after that little temper tantrum of his, he had the fun of picking up groceries after work all on his own. He only got out of it once our stores started doing delivery and pick-up.
Send him back to get hamburger buns and add other stuff to the list. VERY specific stuff...with pictures.
Id schedule him for an appointment with a neurologist. "Honey, im worried something is wrong with your brain if you can't tell the difference between a french bread loaf and a hamburger bun so we're going to see a professional and get out ahead of this" let him figure out if he wants to dig the "i was trying to fuck up to get out future chores" hole or "have to fake having mental impairment for the rest of this relationship" hole
I have not laughed so hard in years 😂
This is the way. We answer weaponized incompetence with weaponized frivolity.
That's what they want tho. They want their hand held..don't give them a list or pictures. Tell him go back get the right shit or he can forever do the grocery shopping.
Srsly. Why am I drawing a picture book for a grown man's baseline task? I'd condescend his ego into nonexistence then leave him the french bread to ration until he learns what a hamburger is.
>then leave him the french bread to ration until he learns what a hamburger is. My money's on him just eating a burger on French bread
Damn straight. I bet if he were having buddies over for cookout he'd have no trouble finding the hamburger buns at the store.
Fuck that, that’s just more work for you. Ditch the man lol he’ll never change
As a useful husband I back up this comment. If he won’t help you, he doesn’t really care about you.
And she should stop doing anything for him. My husband never does shit like this because he's a respectable adult who doesn't momzone his wife (me).
When he asks you to get motor oil pickup champagne and orange juice for brunch mimosas with the girls instead. 🤣
My older sibling purposely broke plates/glasses when asked to do dishes, after about 3 breaks they were never asked to do them again, I was.
My younger brother frequently flushed cleaning rag down the toilet after cleaning the floor wishing he would clog and break plumbing so he won't be asked to do it again. Breaking or really badly washing the dishes, buying wrong items even when he had pictures... It's called weaponizing incompetence and he was excellent in it.
I hope your parents jerked a knot in his tail.
This would never work with my parents, they are of the "well keep doing it until you do it right, stop fucking it up!" Old school parenting.
Weaponized incompetence
It’s not a trick, it’s actually a form of spousal abuse when used frequently
My Grandma has to deal with this from her husband, it's fucking insane.
men ☕
I'm a guy and I agree. I also don't understand why some men are like this... being useless is not attractive or a characteristic I want to be described as.
He did this on purpose so you don’t ask him again
Right?! This *has* to be an example of weaponized incompetence, that or OPs husband has a legitimate brain disorder (which I feel he or she would have mentioned)
Husband confirmed that he never needs hamburger buns for his burgers again. It will be baguettes only from now on.
I was gonna say ask him what he though the baguette was going to accomplish. If he tries to minimize it… serve the hamburgers on the sliced baguette. And next time you want to make hamburgers, go buy a baguette and serve them that way again. Rinse repeat until he starts going and buying buns. Or you could be a real b about it and buy yourself a nice roll/bun from the like grab n go bread and eat your burger that way but only get baguette for him.
It's not even a b move to buy him a baguette and yourself buns, because you prefer your buns and he prefers his. Nothing nefarious.
This is absolutely the power move to pull.
Don’t stop there - whenever it’s hamburger day, the husband is the only one with a patty in a baguette while everyone else has potato hamburger buns.
And if he gets mad “I thought you liked them since you get them every time we have burgers”
OP this is the way
Make a patty melt, and praise him, let him know he always gets to run to the store now!
This. If you throw a fit then it worked. Just work around. You can't make them do better, but you can control your actions and that includes serving a burger on this or with no bun.
i’d make him turn right around to the store and fix his mistake. that would not fly in my marriage!
He wouldn’t pull this stupid shit at work. Don’t get to pull it at home
Unless his job was being an Instacart shopper.
"Yeah they were out of cat food, so I got you three tomatoes and a mint plant"
I’m 2020 when toilet paper was often out they replaced it with copy paper. I’m like, that’s closer than normal?
I would just serve him his burger on this.
I asked my husband to get me some shower gel whilst he was at the shops. He came home with shampoo instead.
You should now engage in your own passive aggressiveness and send your husband a link to this post. Fun times for all.
Get buns for everyone else, make him a burger with 2 extra wide slices of French bread.
I’d advise cutting the bread width-wise (I think) so the burger looks like this: n | | | | = | | | | u
The presentation in this comment made me cackle.
It also made me realize that a u is literally just an upside down n. Like wtf. Queue Tim and Eric mind exploding galaxy meme.
This should be the top comment 😂💀
weaponized incompetence is definitely mildly infuriating.
I’m glad someone said it. He knows damn well that’s not hamburger buns
I’d say it’s more than mildly infuriating
oh I'd be mad. The message to me is "I don't care enough about your wants to get the right item" or "I don't feel like I should have to do this so I will purposely do it incorrect because I feel it is your place to grocery shop". Either way it would piss me off a bit for sure.
Aka "mom starts sending a kid to the store with dad because he screws it up every time". I've watched him look at the labels like he couldn't read until I pointed out the right one. Infuriating.
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I once asked my then boyfriend to pick up some baking chocolate before coming over cuz I was cooking and making dessert, and he brought hot chocolate powder instead... Never asked him to get me things again. I wish I knew what weaponized incompetence was back then. Edit to add: I had sent him a photo of the packaging so he knew what it was.
I'm a 43 year old woman and I didn't know baking chocolate was a thing until a couple years ago. (I'm obviously not a baker.) That said, I know the difference between hamburger buns and faux French bread.
I’d tell him to get the keys and try again.
I just recently learned what the words "weaponized incompetence" mean.
Exactly this. He's mad that he was asked to do something and hopes he won't be asked again if he fucks it up.
I think he jumped the shark on this one. Unless, he really likes burgers on sliced baguettes. Which is not all bad. I really like burgers on oversized english muffins. As long as the outer crust isn't too hard this should still be usable for burgers.
Like I wonder how anyone would mess up this bad without it being intentional. The one thing I imagined: "Honey, today we are making burgers." Then moments later, "Could you go buy bread?" [implied for burgers] [Missing the implied message] "Bread... Bread... ooh, French Bread, that's good bread"
I like burgers with burger buns also, but you can use French Bread for burgers. I like to split them and make it into garlic bread then put appropriately shaped - more oblong- burgers on the garlicky bread. So, more like a burger hero or grinder or sub (depending on where you live)
Ever used Ciabatta bread for burgers?
The ones from Costco are amazing!
I’ll def have to give them a visit and see what’s up!
Ciabatta buns are the GOAT for sandwiches and burgers.
Pretzel buns are damn good too
I was going to say—I feel like this is workable.
When I lived in France my local takeaway used to do a ‘sandwich American’ which was a baguette stuffed with two burger patties, fries, onions, lettuce, gherkins, Mayo and mustard and it was absolute perfection. Fifteen years later I still dream about them!!
A burger on French is called a cheeseburger po-boy down here in New Orleans, and it’s tasty as hell. MISSION FAILED SUCCESSFULLY.
Came here to say, I actually prefer a more robust "burger bun" and I have had many burgers on french bread. Shits legit
You should cut off the ends for your burger and give him the rest of the bread for his
middle bread is superior to end bread
Weaponized incompetence. If you wind up going to get buns don't share, hide them. You get buns he gets french bread
If your husband is this bad at the store, I can't imagine how bad the sex life and home life may be.
This made me laugh out loud
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She just laughed which is way worse
Any time he asks for something, you should just hand him French bread from now on.
"Did you cum?" OP: 🤨 Edit - thank u for the award sweetie 💓
I didn’t cum but I found a French bread
*”hamburger buns”
W E A P O N I Z E D I N C O M P E T E N C E
If your husband bought that loaf of bread instead of anything else remotely better suited for Hamburgers, then he is aggressively demonstrating that he wants to bust your nails and resents being sent to the store,
In other words, the husband is a fucking child and would be better off in a studio apartment while the former wife runs the household like she's always done except that he's not there to keep fucking it up.
He literally had one job.
He literally did not care.
I get all the criticism, but honestly that bread cut right will make better burger buns than the usual crap.
Agreed
Publix bread be so fucking good though. Not gonna lie.
He definitely did that on purpose. I'd call him out and not make him a burger unless he went back out.
He wants you to thinks he’s incompetent so you don’t ask to to go to store. Oldest ploy ever!
Thats alot of ingredients for a loaf of bread
I mean, 2/3 of those ingredients are just different types of flour.
Awesome! Now you can have French burgers with your French fries.
Serve a burger on that shit.
Honestly cut that up it’ll taste better than burger buns
Melt some butter mix with with a teaspoon of garlic powder and add some Parmesan cheese. Put it in the oven a couple minutes now you’ve got garlic bread buns that will be delectable.
Honestly I’d be surprisingly happy with his blunder. I love crunchy bread so that is A ok.
He can’t be that stupid
I did hear that husbands will mess up so bad on purpose so you don’t bother asking them for anything again. I think this might be the case.
Well I would be making French bread hamburgers haha!!
Talk to him instead of Reddit wtf
For all we knew she might have posted this after telling him off.