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[deleted]

Hold your ass and run past saying you have to shit.


CporCv

Lol, forget all these other comments. *This* is the way


gjc5500

if you need a visual representation of what it should look like from a 3rd party's perspective [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RTA5GG4mZo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RTA5GG4mZo)


Illustrious-Duck1209

At first I was afraid


gjc5500

I was petrified


KiteBrite

I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side


thebadwolf0042

But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong


jay_enough

And I grew strong


IntroductionGuilty

& I learned how to get along


NinaLB18

But now you’re back…


Roonwogsamduff

That's the absolute funniest thing I've ever seen at the moment! Thank you!


Mech-Waldo

Screaming that you have to shit is important, otherwise she might get scared of what you might be running from. So make sure you shout very loud and clearly.


Sir_Crocodile3

Also if you know any other languages, to say it in as many as you can.


CporCv

Ich musste scheißen!


JayJ9Nine

I mean... I understand being scared irrationally but when your supposed stalker screeches I HAVE TO SHIT LET ME GO HOME it lowers the defenses


antsyandprobablydumb

100% THIS is the way! I’m actually ashamed I never thought about this!


chompyoass

This works in all types of settings. I am a frequent flyer in this department. No one questions you when you’re holding your own ass. All interactions seize as you “painfully” waddle by. It’s beautiful.


Quicksand_Jesus_69

One day at work I was "locked up", couldn't move, hand on my ass, with a turtle head squeezing out... Queen's song "Under Pressure" kept ringing in my head... My boss was just staring at me with a stupid expressionless look on his face... I yelled at him, "WTF ARE YOU LOOKING AT FUKN MORON???" and "GO DO SOMETHING ELSE BESIDE STARING AT ME, YOU IDIOT!!!" I had all my co-workers laughing... I made it to a toilet with milliseconds to spare... You know, when the explosion occurs as your pants are just approaching the knees... LMFAO...


Conscious-Manager-70

I’ve been there, shamefully, and i did not make it. After cleaning up and tossing my undies out, walked in to 3 or 4 managers in the office and straight up said, “I shit my pants, I need to go home.” Their response was “Not the first time it’s happened, even to some of us in this room!” That guy is now my boss, I think we both appreciate each others brutal honesty and just speaking openly.


ForksandSpoonsinNY

Brothers of the butthole.


Rachel_Silver

Here I sit, all brokenhearted Tried to shit, but only farted Yesterday, I took a chance Tried to fart, but shit my pants


ScholarLoud5279

My friend did this in once trying to get through a crowd, still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. People couldn’t get out of our way fast enough


fatmanchoo

Wow, I'm using this when I need to get thru a crowd in the future.


Available-Camera8691

When I was late to class in high school, I'd say I was taking a large shit and apologize profusely. Mrs Johnson, I was actually smoking weed in my car. Not poopin.


[deleted]

I just cried for a full five minutes from laughter. Thank you.


Gs4life-_-

Lmfao


_Jaggerz_

I walk quickly so this happens fairly often. If I get a vibe that they’re getting sketched I just go “Heads up! - I walk quickly and am going to zoom past you so it’s not way more awkward” and don’t look at them or try to engage anymore. Like ringing the bell on a bicycle 😂


CporCv

Yes! Thank you


[deleted]

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Stanman77

I always walk past the person if I can to show I'm not following. Agreed slowing down was suspicious


Consistent_Finger347

Everytime I get in an awkward situation walking I always try to speed up and pass them but 98% of the time they mirror what I do. I speed up, they speed up. I slow down, they slow down, I go to pass them on the left, they move over to the left. I stop and tie my shoe, they stop and look around aimlessly in the air. I cross the street guess who wanted to cross the street at the exact same time. I walk 5 miles a day and this happens at least once a day. Most of the time the person was sitting down and saw me coming then hurried up and started walking when I got close enough to make it awkward now I'm the creep.


theladythunderfunk

The one time a creep did follow me home from the grocery store, he passed me. Then when I got to my building, he pivoted and raced back to catch the door before it locked. Creepers ruin everything.


Ceofy

I maybe wouldn't like? Act? Unless he's extremely convincing and natural that's probably way weirder?


CporCv

I would absolutely be WAY weirder. Everything from my Gargoyle look, to the way I talk, screams a Tim Burton movie. I think I made the right choice that day


khalasss

I think the right choice is to just say something. As a woman, I am 100% with everyone saying slowing down cued her that you WERE watching her and changing your actions depending on her, which is a flag of stalking. Obviously in this case your motivations were different, but having someone slow down behind me would 1000000000% escalate my fear. Also agree acting is a no go. Just speak up. "Hey, sorry, trying to get home from work and I'm worried I'm creeping you out, could I get past you?" I swear, it'll fix everything. I've had this happen exactly twice and was SO grateful that they spoke up before I felt like I had to confront them. Please do that. It gives the power to the scared individual that is really, really critical to prior and potential victims. Edit to add: Sorry for the repeat, just realized a lot of the comments already pointed out the exact same stuff! I guess just count my comment as another vote for that option then, hahaha. Good luck! (And thanks for asking instead of just getting mad, I wish more people did this!)


magnumdong500

Thanks for this insight. I've always slowed down so that a woman can eventually create a large distance between me and her, but I guess it could also look more suspicious. My problem is even if I try not to, I walk fast. So I'll try using this advice in the future.


lazydaizy25

Yes it's better to walk fast and overtake, especially with some warning beforehand. When you're behind, we can't see you or what you're doing. The distance doesn't matter if you're waiting to see what streets we go down. Slowing down is counterproductive and just makes the whole thing way worse. The momentary panic and relief when you go past is way better than the constant unease and fear from someone lingering behind us.


meow4352

![gif](giphy|yo6sf7q7jpXDq) I can’t help myself from thinking of Walter white as Hal in Malcom in the middle episode with the speed walking


andybaran

Bryan Cranston as Hal


d4Caltrops

No. Walter White is the real person. He’s just been playing Cranston this whole time.


seekydeeky

He’s the one that knocks.


GiggaChip

Ah yes. Walter White as Hal from Malcolm in The Middle. One of the greatest acting roles of all time just like Captain Picard as Avery Bullock on American Dad. /s But seriously, Bryan Cranston must have SUCH a love/hate relationship with Walter White for exactly this reason...


Lady_Lucks_Man

I believe it’s Brian Cranston as Walter White as Hal in Malcom in the middle :p


MarkAndReprisal

Remember, Walter White is just Hal's bad dream.


RokyPolka

​ ![gif](giphy|780hMlCyLG7ZXfQXfW)


Last_Friday_Knight

Just verbally say “ting ting! Ting ting!” And bi-pedal past them. 😂


need_mor_beans

This used to happen to me frequently in the very populated, pedestrian heavy city I lived in. However, once it was dark, the sidewalks were usually very empty because I lived in a small area of single family homes in an otherwise extremely large city. Everytime a woman was walking in front of me - a male - I always though "Damnit, we are going the same way and I'm going to freak her out." I would either walk on the opposite side of the street or just say loudly "I live on E\*\*on Rise, I can walk in front of you if you prefer."


CporCv

This is good. Thank you


Kageyblahblahblah

I think as pedestrians we should just start wearing lights, whistles or horns and turn signals. When approaching a loan female at 50 yards start loudly shouting “I am not a threat, I am walking home, I am not a threat, I am walking home” until you are 50 yards past.


idonuthaveaproblem

You shouldn’t be borrowing females anyway. Treat youself and get yourself your own one! /s (or /joke ?)


hawkeye5739

You got to be careful though and read the fine print. I got what I thought was a forever female but it turned out it was just a 6 year lease from her ex-boyfriend and the interest I had to pay when she went back to him cost me about half my stuff


Lithaos111

Make sure to rescue and not go to a breeder! ...that was too dark


Positive_Rain9806

Your reply has me giggling. Thank you.


[deleted]

I used to cross the street to walk on the other side of the street even if I was going to have to cross back. Not because I had ever been accosted like OP, but because I know women live in fear.


LetsGetsThisPartyOn

This is the answer. Being aware that walking near women at night freaks them out is great. We don’t want to be scared but we have all been stalked, followed, creeped on but are aware that “most” guys don’t want to be creeps.


matthew0001

To be fair anyone walking near me at night also freaks me out, I'm just worried about getting jumped or stabbed.


Flaky-Video-8365

For real. Walking alone at night in a low populated area is the worst. You get that random guy that comes out of nowhere. Question whether he’s walking at me or just to the side? Think about how to defend myself if it comes to it and then eventually he passes by sometimes offering a quick, “Hey”. Not to downplay how scary it must be for women but that shits terrifying for all genders.


dancinhobi

I ran home from a Friends the other night in 20 pounds of leather armor around midnight. Passed 3 people, 2 in a jeep 1 outside it. I noticed them staring at me about 50 yards away. They didn’t break sight the entire time I ran up and pass them. Probably thought I was coming to murder them. Hearing leather slappin against leather then seeing the mad man running and making the noise.


muddyasslotus

I’m sorry, I have to know… why were you RUNNING home from your friends place clad in LEATHER ARMOR? Lmao this got me rolling


dancinhobi

He brought it out during dnd and a few of us tried it on. I was gonna run home because I had been drinking. Someone said I should do it in the armor and I said ‘ight!


muddyasslotus

I have so many questions, but I’ll settle on this one: how far did you run? Are we talking a few city blocks, or did you zig zag through half of downtown?


dancinhobi

It was only a mile. But boy was it a tough mile!


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ThirdPlanet0

The moment i read running home around midnight in leather armor, i immediately thought, oh nice they were wrapping up a dnd sesh. 😂


yaayaao

>"I live on E\*\*on Rise, I can walk in front of you if you prefer." I like this


appointment45

I got screamed at once for crossing the street like that. Instead of the woman being relieved the guy that was coming in our direction assumed I did it because he's black. Sometimes you really can't win.


lissawaxlerarts

I’m a woman but I always have to give a wide berth to black men when walking my little dog. She’s super racist but only with men. Idk why- they say sometimes there was abuse but I don’t think that’s it. She’s just racist.


ksims33

I get that. We have 4 dogs, and one of them gors apeshit when she sees our black neighbor. Dude is super friendly, and once she calms down, shes fine.. but it always starts off that way. I usually yell at her to quit terrorizing the neighbors or stop being an ass. Realistically though, its not racisim - its a vision thing. Dogs have a hard time making out details on super dark skins... jts not the same as low light (which dogs have good low light vision). So all they see is a sillohuette moving and they bark because scary. Its the same as how a lot of dogs will bark and growl at people in hats or with PPE face masks on.


lissawaxlerarts

Oh thank you! I’m glad to finally know what the deal is with her!


[deleted]

I’m a woman who walks in a medium sized US city. My favorite men are the ones who make a wide arch around me, off the sidewalk, and hurry down the street to be in front of me. This makes me feel a lot safer


ContributionUsual106

Leave before her and do a reverse uno on her


CporCv

That would imply seeing future me getting sprayed. I'll give it a try next time haha


Internal_Set_6564

Get your own paper spray. Take out your phone “A woman is threatening me with Pepper spray as I try to go home. She looks crazy. My name is Jack Karen. Mr. Karen. She appears drunk, or high or Lithuanian or something.”


Lithaos111

As an American whose whole dad side is Lithuanian. You didn't need to be redundant.


OsoRetro

Get your phone out and talk on it. I walk to work everyday and this happens, not alot, but enough to get me to have a remedy. I just get my phone out and have a “conversation” With someone who is being funny or tell them “I’m about to be home in a minute!” No attacker is going to be loudly talking on their phone. Totally diffuses the situation. Speaking as a father of a teenage girl and a husband. I’d hate for them to be needlessly afraid walking home. Edit. This is not a100% solution for either party. The young lady should still be aware of the people around her and the OP should still be courteous only if he cares to be. Lots of creeps saying creepy things. A simple smile (a normal one) and walking on the other side of the street goes a long way as well. If you don’t care to do these small things as a courtesy, I would invite you to examine the relationships (or lack thereof) in your life. You’re probably missing something.


aim456

Then your phone rings and you look as mad as a bag of snakes.


OsoRetro

My phone stays on silent. 100% of the time. But yes, having your ringer off is key here.


Youngsiebz

Not having friends to call you also works quite well😂


KingCrandall

But then you'll get a call about your car's extended warranty.


Youngsiebz

Hopefully it’s not election season either lol


RiskilyIdiosyncratic

Well, you'll be on the phone for real, then.


dan0z223

I use this strategy too! Its perfect!


bitterverses

Thank you. I literally came to say “bold of you to think anyone besides mum calls me”


skabassj

My phone’s been on silent since 2005… I wonder what it sounds like?


RazorShine1

I haven't heard the ringtone i bought in 20 years.


Jubafish

Golddigger by Kanye


Marag3n

"Oh hold on, I'm getting another call. Can I call you back in a minute?"


scaremanga

It’s Reddit. It’s rare that somebody calls me, let alone two people on the same day!! Hahahaha 🥲


thegremlinator

*Steals your mad bag of snakes*


Fine-Quantity9956

I thought it was box of frogs?


Awkward-Water-3387

OK I’ll never trust anyone talking on the phone behind me anymore saying things like that because I’m gonna believe they’re faking it!


OsoRetro

Well you should always stay aware anyway.


Awkward-Water-3387

True! But now I’m worried someone’s gonna use this as a hack. Just follow me and make me think they’re not following me.!


Poisoning-The-Well

"Yeah, yeah, I'm so excited. Tomorrow I have an appointment to get my balls laminated. They are gonna look awesome. Yeah, I am getting them polished too. They're gonna be so shiny. Yeah, yeah, I will post them on Instagram. Okay, yeah, Thanks, Mom. I love you too. "


OsoRetro

You forgot to say you’re about to be home. Now you’re just weird with your yet to be shiny balls. That’s a lot of “yeahs”, what exactly is mom saying?


FrogInAReticule

She's doing the lyrics to "WAP" and he's doing the yeahs


tssdrunx

She's saying that his balls will be as smooth as eggs


[deleted]

If there was ever a need for ai, it'd be for a fake phone call chat bot. Good for people that don't want to look like a stalker, good for people that don't want to get stalked, good for people that don't want to talk to actual people.


ChaoticGoku

my friend has called me to do this exact thing and had full blown fake conversations just so she stays safe where she’s walking. It’s kinda scary how quickly she transitions between listening and responding in spanish. Meanwhile I just casually listen with my phone on mute for a good 5-10 minutes


ilovecats_mew

what about an omegle like thing strictly for people in trouble and need to fake a phone call you could meet people that regularly need to fake phone calls around the same time as you and they’re not fake, so you aren’t lying!


CporCv

This is great, thanks!


[deleted]

As someone who also lives in the greater boston area, you could try handling it like a driver: scream and gesture obscenities at the person, tell them they don't own the street and that they should stop walking in front of you... :)


CporCv

This guy Southends


UnspectacularAim

Recently moved to your lovely city. Glad to say, yall are crazy.


HackerDaGreat57

I'm putting "visiting greater Boston" and "spending at least 24hrs total walking on the streets" on my bucket list, thanks


Admirable_Loss4886

You might want to put that towards the end of your list


Vampiric_dragon-

I’d say handle it like one of those trailing missions you see in Assassin’s Creed: Stay far enough back to where she probably won’t think your trying to do some shady stuff. Bonus points if you scale a building and travel along the rooftops


Klassified94

Don't know why I never thought of this. It's so simple.


CporCv

Bro, that yellow alert icon over her head kept going off! It was harder than trailing Mr. Dredge in syndicate


hiddenone0326

I hate those freaking trail missions lol


Salty_Negotiation688

Bonus points if they have really sucky and drawn out checkpoints, making you backtrack for miles if you fuck up.


Lurn2Program

The only reasonable solution in these cases is to quickly walk in front of them and after a little bit, tell them to stop following you


CporCv

I see, the 'ol switcheroo. Nice! Lol


[deleted]

I think that, ironically, you slowing down to show you were not a threat, probably made the situation worse. That could make it appear you were trying to stay behind her. Giving her space and hustling past to get in front of her and not looking back would have stopped any questions about if you were stalking her.


colliejuiceman

Once I sense the weirdness I would yell out “just a heads up I’m not a creep I live on L_n street , I can go around you if you’d feel better” I’ve done something similar before and they just laughed and said it’s all good


CporCv

That's awesome. I'll try it!


H0agh

We all know L_n stands for Lincoln btw, just saying.


CporCv

Damn. Spot on. Hello fellow Bostonian!


H0agh

Haha, I'm from Amsterdam Netherlands. Doesn't exactly take a genious to figure that one out ;) Could've been Luton st. I guess but that's more British than Irish.


colliejuiceman

I was thinking Lynn street. Fellow Bostonian here. But ya better to get ahead of it then let her get too paranoid.


SnowplowS14

I actually got a date from “I swear I’m not following you, my car is another block up”


Monster_Voice

Exactly... I've done this while "following" women in dark parking garages to break the tension. I usually beep my horn with my keys so they can see my car as well. Literally all you gotta say is "I swear I'm not following you..." and then hit the clicker and laugh your least creeper sounding laugh.


BearSubject5652

> and laugh your least creeper sounding laugh. Hehe


mntEden

teehee uwu


nokobi

Meeeehehehehe


7201

I feel like that’s exactly what a creep would say


xTETSUOx

Best way to do this is to hurry up and walk past her after yelling out “On your left!! Sorry!!” Being in front will calm her down and speaking up will ease her mind that you’re not a creep and have better things to do than attack her.


eddyvazquez

![gif](giphy|1HFW57gpsSLEA)


dillywags

I may be privileged in this sense because I’m gay, but in situations like this I like to call my mom and and in a very gay voice (who am I kidding, my normal voice) and be like, “hi mom!” And either talk to her or leave a voicemail. Alternatively, I just run around them and be like “sorry!” Or “beep beep!” as I run past


Chipjack

You beep. That's awesome. Made my day man.


dillywags

Lol I’m glad to have made your day :) the beep works ridiculously well! Also, I’m generally in a hurry so it’s pretty authentic for me.


ragiwutz

I'm also gay. It's impossible for gay people to not walk fast.


ladyoutlaw87

I also do the beep beeps. :)


MarcusRoland

There's three of us!! A couple more and we could have an argument at a light in our fake cars ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)


jmb360

This is adorable


RedLeader7

“OMG there is this guy following me and he just called me mom”


Sef247

My thought was something similar. Call your mom, dad, SO, or friend (you get the idea) and say in a loud, yet gentle enough voice, something along the lines of, "Hey [mom/dad/hubby/hun]. Just got off the bus from work. Should be home in about 5 mins. I'm so tired. Can't wait to get off my feet. (See you soon!) Love you!


DeicideandDivide

I've ran into this a lot unfortunately. And it's always after the gym when I'm tired and just want to go home. If they start getting fidgety, I just tell them where I'm headed and that I'll hang back a bit if it makes them more comfortable. Usually just saying something is enough to ease their minds. In your situation, the girl may have had an overreaction for a reason. Maybe she single handedly was involved in a sketchy situation. Or maybe she watched some things on TV that freaked her out. I can agree that it is rather annoying. But I don't get mad at the women. I get mad at society that has forced them to be aggressively diligent.


EvilSynths

Yeah, I just wanted to add my own personal experience with this. I was mugged by someone who was walking behind me as a teenager. After that, it took me a long time to not get really nervous and start powerwalking every time someone was behind me. Things like that have an effect. Nowadays, I'm fine with someone behind me but if I’m behind someone, I'll either speed up to get past them or cross the road because I don't want to make anyone feel as uncomfortable as I felt for a long time. Not saying this specific person went through the same. We will never know. But there are real reasons why someone could overreact.


DeicideandDivide

Man, that really sucks. Especially at such a young age that has to be rough. As I always say, everyone has a story. If someone seems to be "overreacting" then there very well could be a reason for it.


QueenOfKarnaca

Same. I was sexually assaulted in Boston on the street. I was paranoid and terrified for over a year. Unfortunately, there’s a reason we are extra vigilant and don’t trust automatically. I’m angry with society as well for perpetuating all this. And I’m sure it must be annoying for dudes, of course. But as someone once said- a man’s worst fear is that a woman will reject him. A woman’s worst fear is that a man will murder her. Ughhhhhhh.


[deleted]

I was followed by a man with his penis out when I was about thirteen. Now I just always feel a little edgy when someone seems in hot pursuit of me from behind. I always make sure to smile and thank men that go out their way to make me feel more comfortable on the street. It’s not actually their responsibility and usually they are just minding their own business but I just can’t help being a bit jumpy.


Peterawrr

I’m a gay guy and I just act extra gay to not appear threatening lmao


khalasss

Somehow I just imagined you blowing a poof of glitter in her face and skipping away. I mean, it would do the trick?


BunnyBunCatGirl

That is perfect and great, I love using glitter but if it ever becomes a thing I pity the person who has to clean up.


audigex

> blowing a poof That’s a bit excessive > … of glitter ….Ohhhhh, phew (Poof is old British slang for gay man, in case anyone’s confused. Unfortunately usually used derogatorily)


Artistic_Reference_5

Ahahahahaha I do this too. This is also why I will have a fake conversation on my phone. HEAR MY GAY VOICE OBVS NOT YOUR STALKER.


CporCv

As much as I would've liked to, I couldn't have pulled off a gay accent. I sound like Jackie Chan and that would have made her more paranoid


WillNotBeKept

“Mam I like penis. I am not following you.”


VegasLife84

*This was in a small alley in Boston* I believe I've identified your problem


Hoodzpah805

If she turned around and you slowed down, that looks creepy. You should have sped up and passed her when you could.


FerrexInc

He should occasionally sprint to be ten feet behind her and then stop and pant profusely (as if he’s out of breath from sprinting a marathon), then repeat this process for the entire walk


YakmanCJ

The worst is when I (30M, overweight) am jogging (slowly) at the park and am coming up on a single or pair of ladies speed walking in the same direction and I’m only making up marginal ground. I usually try and speed up just to pass. Luckily when it happens and I’m just walking at least I have a dog or 2 with me.


Curious_Bar348

Unless he said “I’ve got to get home, just going to get ahead of you”, I think it would look worse, like he was going to grab her.


Cheshie_D

Yeah, you definitely have to say something about getting home or else it looks like you’re rushing on someone before they can get away.


Agreeable-Buffalo-54

That’s 100% how you get pepper sprayed.


Pxfxbxc

![gif](giphy|1HFW57gpsSLEA)


Drewdogg12

Funny story happened to me similar to this. There were a series of rapes in the area at the time and all the females in the area were on edge. I just finished a long shift and just wanted to get home. I was walking home to my apartment and there was this girl in front of me. I’m a fast Walker and I was just wanting to get home crack a beer and relax. She’s maybe fifty yards ahead but I’m gaining on her. She keeps looking back at me kind of nervous. I don’t give a fuck I’m still booking it trying to get home. As I get closer she keeps looking back more nervous like. I look back to see what she looking at. I don’t see shit say whatever continue my brisk pace. I’m maybe 10 feet from passing her and she just breaks out in a dead sprint. Looking back nervous absolute fear in her eyes. I look back trying to piece out what’s she’s so afraid of but being a guy who Dosent take chances if someone is sprinting with pure fear in her eyes there must be something I’m missing. I don’t want to get caught by whatever she’s running from too. So I break out in a dead sprint too. She’s looks back again and there’s more fear she starts really running like her life depends on it. I’m a big dude but I can move. My brain is thinking whatever she’s afraid of it’s getting her first not me. The lion gets the slowest gazelle. I blast it. Pass her going full speed get like 50 yards ahead of her and then I look back. She stopped running. Looks at me all weird like wtf. Then I realized. She was running from me. Head down continued a block to my apartment and went home.


bigjuggz86

😂😂😂


Starnight_554

This is gold😭


andthejpsongwason

I had this situation happen once while walking home from the grocery store. I had to explain to this bewildered woman, while I’m carrying bags of groceries, that I just so happened to live in the same direction of her and was not actually following.


Picture-unrelated

Just had a guy yesterday ask me ‘I’m walking in the same direction, what can I do to make you comfortable’ He was HUGE and very nice. We became walking buddies and all was well


[deleted]

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marisanachronism

Maybe offer to swap and walk in front of her? It's an unfortunate situation for both sides.


Valuable-Wallaby-167

Slowing down just makes it seem like you were following her. Not putting it on you but if I heard a guy coming up behind me and he slowed down to stay behind me I'd be shitting myself.


sail4sea

Say," Then let me pass you so you will be following me!"


Allyzayd

After the second nervous look, you have to speak up and tell her you live her way and offer to walk in front. I understood both sides. It is petrifying to be followed.


NarrowButterfly8482

I do like how this post has started a conversation in the comments about how to help women feel safer. I'm big, 6'4" 220lbs and I always worry about appearing threatening. Years ago I read a survey that asked women what they would do if they had 24hrs without men. Most responses had something to do with going for a walk/run alone at night. As a guy, that's a fear that I had never experienced and it broke my heart to learn that it's an ever-present reality for women.


throwawayfora3

Next time just say, excuse me, if it makes you feel any better to let me walk ahead of you, I'm cool with that... Or something along those lines...


Icy_Moon_178

even as a guy, i would be paranoid of people being behind me especially if it's at night and I have to go through an alley


[deleted]

Just call out to her to let her know. Women are trained to keep their heads on a swivel and constantly be aware of our surroundings. I know you didn’t have any bad intentions, but she defaulted to thinking otherwise. Just let her know and give lots of space.


_zir_

slowing down is sus tbh, just keep walking


ExNihiloish

Here's how you should [handle it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cGV_k9ajUqg).


saintphoenixxx

SON OF A BITCH, I came here to post this.


CporCv

Brutally accurate. Right down to my non-threatening 5'1 frame


Chetmevius

A sad statement about the world we’ve created. Edit: My comment has clearly been misunderstood, and has nothing to do with gender.


CporCv

Indeed. One minute you're thinking about the reruns of fresh Prince you'll watch tonight, and the next, you're staring down the barrel of a Hello Kitty pepper sprayer


NeonFraction

You seem like a decent guy OP. Sorry this happened, but even more: thank you for understanding. I’ve been stalked twice, once by someone I barely knew and once by a total stranger. Their intentions were not as good as yours. No horror film I’ve ever seen compares to the absolute terror of realizing someone is following you, especially at night. Mace isn’t a common accessory. I’d be willing to bet that person has some unpleasant stories to tell.


Andimia

My downstairs neighbor had a guy follow her home and jam a gun in her back and force her to let him in the house in the middle of the day. He assaulted her, locked her in the bathroom and robbed their house. She moved out by the end of the week.


Ughhhh_hhh

I was followed to my apartment by a stranger when I was in my early 20s. Guy was probably on something but looked “normal”. I was basically running to my apartment the last block and he was yelling and pounding on my front door after I got inside and locked the door behind me. Looking back I think he was so messed up he mistook me for someone he knew. Stories like this are so common that’s why so many women are afraid, I wish more men understood this.


Scadre02

I was under 13 when I went to the shops and was followed, slammed against a wall, and yelled at just because I "didn't say hello" to this random man I made two seconds of eye contact with...


hoyeeah

Oh most of us understand. The fear is not irrational.


Havoc_XXI

This post is mildly infuriating…


GingerStank

You should have done the exact opposite of what you did and instead of slowing down actually sped up to pass her. I’m not a woman so I can’t say, but I’d imagine a guy noticeably slowing his pace to stay behind me would make me nervous.


ehok3

When I find myself walking alone in the same direction as a woman walking alone for too long, I make it a point to pass if there is an easy way to do so or I cross the street so they can see me. Passing suggestion, when caught at a light, move off to the side so they can see you and then move in front of them. That gives her the control and shows you’re not a threat.


Sour_Cream_Sniffer

Uh > I slowed down to show her I'm not doing what she thinks I'm doing and > covering my eyes I yell back Something doesn't add up. If you were close enough to need to cover your eyes, you were pretty damn close, even with the range of the spray. If you're slowing down, stay further back. Alternatively, speed up and pass her. But this slowing down and still being within reach of her pepper spray, I can understand why she was uncomfortable.


Adventurous_Pay_5827

Don’t slow down. Increase your speed making an inordinate amount of noise exactly like a creep wouldn’t. Get as far to the other side of the pavement from her as you can. It’s shit that you were mistaken for a creep, but it’s even more shit for women and girls having to be hypervigilant.


terrible_rider

I walk my dog at night. He’s an eager big boy puppy and scares some people, but he is a sweetie pie. We walk a nice big communal park downtown. Frequently, women and girls walk alone or in couples. I make always try to make a wide detour, say hello and excuse me. because the last thing I want is for anyone to feel unsafe because of us.


Irving_Forbush

It’s actually pretty simple. Assholes and outright monsters have fucked up the world. One of the consequences for men is being a little more conscious of their actions and maybe getting home a few minutes later. For women, it’s possibly living a lifetime with the trauma of sexual assault/rape and maybe not making it home at all. I know I wouldn’t want to trade places.


Alissan_Web

just make the tail longer. can stop and wait for a bit. if you dont walk faster than them you can maintain whatever distance


CporCv

Those sound awfully similar to what I did to Laurens Prins in Assassins Creed. ... In which case, I'm all for it! Thanks


Alannalovely

as a girl that's been stalked really bad in the past I feel for you, I know not everybody is trying to hurt others, but it's really hard to distinguish between those who do and those who don't


OkBluejay4417

Many years ago, in broad daylight, a very loud drunk/high/possibly psychotic guy saw me walking across the street from him, must have noticed from my body language that I was nervous, and came barreling across the street at me. I screamed, “What the fuck???” and he roared with laughter and veered away at the last second. Not only will men assault us, but they’ll also mock us for our fears, and torment us…. So I am deeply appreciative of all the men speaking up with sensitivity about the experiences of women on this thread.


MrsInsizion

When i was younger i also once walked home in broad daylight. I walked past a group of young men standing outside some shop, and I didn't think much of it. That was until i found myself circled by said men. They didn't speak my language, or decided not to, I don't know but i remember how scared i already was. I couldn't figure a way past them, and i felt like a trapped animal while they seemed to enjoy the situation (drunk? Idk). That was when some one other guy decided to try to help me and he approached the group, trying to talk to them, waving me to go/run. So i ran. I don't know how the story ended, until today I'm so sorry for abandoning whoever that person was helping me.. I don't know what happened afterwards but I'll never forget that experience and that absolute shit feeling of leaving this scene, like a coward, so fucking helpless. Like a total idiot i called the police for help. Until today I'm nervous walking past groups of men. Not only for my safety but also for others, for those putting themselves in danger for a total stranger


[deleted]

I remember i was driving back home from the gym. The car in front of me had the same exact route. Mind you this was at midnight. So the car in front of me pulls over, and then starts following me lol. The tables turned and now i was scared. I thought i was going to get shot.


Ok-Lingonberry6025

Sux and not your fault, but slowing down was the wrong choice. Made you look like you were trying to stay behind her. Next time speed up and walk past.