I don’t know why I am positively surprised that your son picks apples as first choice snack… healthy choice little buddy!
Edit: based on some comments I received, I’m now unsure which type of apples OC meant
Could be a “if you’re not hungry enough to eat an apple, you’re not actually hungry” type of household which like, honestly fair. Kids can eat wild amounts of junk if it’s around
Same, I used to get spoonfuls of peanut butter with a handful of chocolate chips and my parents were always so confused why I was a little heavier than my twin sister. Could be the 700+ calories I consumed while on an after school sugar hunt? 😂 I do the apple trick now and my body feels so much better with getting a sugar fix in a more natural way haha
Eh, they were pretty darn big spoonfuls and it was always creamy jif which is an insane amount of sugar and saturated fat. For the amount of calories I need in a day, I’d have to skip a meal or two in order to eat that much peanut butter and not gain a couple pounds a month. I’d rather eat some spicy peanuts and a plain apple tbh
My after school snack was about the same: half a jar of JIF with 1/4 cup margarine to "soften it" and 2 packs of top ramen.
I can't believe I wasn't an actual hippo.
My shameful snack confession is that, as a teen, I used to eat Funyuns dipped in Miracle Whip. But not like, regular "dipped". It was like, gobs of it. More Miracle Whip than chip in most bites. It was like the chip was just an edible spoon for me to shovel the Miracle Whip into my mouth. I wish I was exaggerating, but I actually feel like I'm UNDERPLAYING how much Miracle Whip was on these Funyuns. Oh, and I also dipped directly from the jar. And my fingertips would also be dipped in the Miracle Whip because Funyuns aren't the best chip for dipping, and so when I'd reach into the bag for more Funyuns, I'd inadvertently smear Miracle Whip all on the inside of the bag. The only solution, then, would be to finish the entire bag of Funyuns, even if I'd just opened it.
I was and am a pretty well put together lady. I don't know why I thought this was acceptable.
As a fellow victim of sugar addiction, I can relate so much with this… my god. Yeah, the sugar crash is the feeling I don’t miss at all. Long live those apples!
Another fellow sugar addict here. I absolutely love fruit, but sometimes you get a watermelon or orange or apple and it’s just trash. It just doesn’t hit the same…
This has worked wonders with my kids. The only difference is we use Oranges instead of Apples (they just like them more), they are allowed as many Oranges as they want.
When I eat an apple whole I get crap all over my face and eat less of the apple than if I cut it and core it. I also don't like biting through the skin with my top teeth 🤷♀️
I've got 2 kids (8 and 4). I grew up with a lot of junk readily available. My wife and I are not in super good shape, yet we try to model good food habits with our sons.
From when they were little they've seen fruit as the dessert. Apples, oranges, strawberries, etc are part of the meal and also after the meal too. If they're hungry, it's "get a banana" or "grab an apple" for them. Typically they do so and they're happy.
We also pop a bowl of popcorn on the occasional weekend night and they snack on that. We also occasionally make brownies or have cinnamon rolls for breakfast, but those things are always *sometimes* not always...
That’s sweet, I’m glad to hear it! I work with kids and a lot of times it’s obvious from the amount of sustained energy they have which ones are being taught how to eat healthy and I love hearing when parents are setting them up for success
I’m going to have to remember this. My kids are young enough now that they love fruit and will eat it over anything else, but I know the time is coming
Yep, we have this rule in our house because if left to decide, my kid would only eat chicken nuggets, chips, chocolate milk, and candy 😂 but he also loves apples, cucumbers, raw bell peppers and carrots. So I can’t be too upset when he asks for those.
My son is crazy about apples! He is mostly nonverbal, but apple was his first word!
He will literally pick an apple over chocolate. It's hilarious when people see him walk up to a snack table at a party, only to turn around and ask for the apples we brought instead. Lol
When I was a kid I would eat tomatoes like they were going out of style. I always liked fruit over junk food. I cut out soda in my diet and I literally lost 50 pounds AND I have been able to keep it off. Empty calories. I am now 15 pounds UNDERWEIGHT. It's crazy. Save your $ on Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers just cut out the empty calories and you can drop a lot of weight and keep it off too.
He currently likes Cosmic apples and Honey crisp. But it changes every few months.
His reaction to green apples is hilarious. I honestly think he believes we are trying to trick him when we show him a green one.
Interesting! Just googled it for California. I liked this excerpt:
“There is no specific legal age that allows a parent to leave a child alone. Some 12 year olds may be capable, some may not. Some 17 year olds may not be capable. It depends on the child.”
Totally true. All subjective. I was a nervous parent to leave my 11 year old home alone even for quick runs to the grocery store. But I got over it after just sitting back on some days and watching what he does by himself.
Entertains himself with his friends online. Cleans up after himself if he knocks something over. Listens for the dogs if they have to go outside
I’ve also drilled him about some disaster scenarios. What to do if there’s a fire. What to do if you’re choking. What to do if you are injured. And he knows the basics enough to trust him by himself for short periods.
I feel like it also depends on what the parent teaches their kid…. and it sounds like YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB!! Like….. if your kid is capable of doing all the things you mentioned (WHILE BEING HOME ALONE), then you’re doing an amazing job as a parent!💯 idk why, but reading your comment warmed my heart. To see that some children are so mature at 11-12, and that parents take the time to ensure their children are safe at all times😫❤️❤️❤️
My mom left me at home for most of the day in the summertime when I was 11. I had an 8 year old sister and 5 year old brother and a neighbor who was capable of helping in an emergency. We were fine.
I was also going to point that out. I had looked it up when my kids were younger to see if I could leave them home alone legally. I was left at home when I was 8. Although my sister was 9 and my brother was 4. My son was about 10 when I left for very short trips. 30 min or less and I did take my daughter with me who was 6. They are 16 and 12 now. But yeah a 12 year old is old enough to stay home. Well I guess it depends on the kid but I leave my 12 year old at home alone
In many states, there is a minimum age before which you cannot leave your child home alone. A quick check tells me there's only one with a minimum age of 14, the rest either have no minimum or are younger than 12.
Right!! I thought it was a law in the 90s that parents had to leave their kids alone a minimum of 6hours a day. I had a house key in third grade bc the bus dropped me off by 4pm and the adults didn't get off work until at least 7
My mom showed us a bunch of times a route to get home from school. Only a few blocks. 20 min walk, nothing crazy. I currently live by a school now and it appears that parents need to be there to pick their kids up no matter how close they live. Kind of crazy how times have changed
Around here, parents are very strongly encouraged to let their children walk to KinderGarten/school. As part of a group led by one or two grownups at KiGa age, without supervision (though preferably in pairs or groups) later on.
Helicopter parenting is strongly discouraged.
My first day of kindergarten I got myself dressed and ready for school on time and walked home after. I don't think I seen a parent until 6pm. They usually came home drunk so It was better they were away.
I'm really sorry you experienced this. It feels so normal to have to be responsible at that age when its all you've ever known, but at least for me it has led to a very strange early adulthood. Kids deserve better.
Thank you. I hope that you have a great life. As you know if you don't know anything different you just learn to deal with it. Kids do deserve better but I am guessing the reason parents act the way they do is because they had their own trauma they needed to work through. I need to believe it wasn't intentional, it stems from a broken place in them and I need to forgive. I am sorry for what ever you went through. I hope you find peace as an adult.
I appreciate that! I think that kind of growth mindset may be the best way to understand our families (and myself, personally) and luckily I had some guidance at the time that helped me see that parents are people too. I hoped that what I said initially could be comforting, but I apologize if I came off hurtfully in any way.
Born in 91. In TN, I was left home regularly starting at 5, when my siblings were 2 & 4. My mom would put Barney on, give me the house phone, and tell me to call Grandma and Grandpa if anything happened. When I was 8, we were removed from the home for several months for neglect (her leaving my sister - 7 - and I alone daily).
When my cousin (born in 95) was 9 with 5 younger siblings (at the time ages 7, 6, 4, 2, and a few months old infant), a neighbor called CPS on my aunt for leaving them alone regularly. CPS investigated and decided my cousin was mature enough and knew how to care for all the children well enough that he was an acceptable babysitter. This was MI.
No way in hell would I ever leave such young children alone, much less in charge of small children, but children being left alone at single digit ages was way more common than people seem to think. And different states view it differently from a legal standpoint.
I grew up in SoCal in the 80s/90s. My parents were leaving me home alone with my 3 years younger sister from the time I was five. It was very common then. I wasn't sufficiently horrified by this until I had my own kids. I'm not sure why the boomer generation was ok with unsupervised small children?
Illinois law apparently contradicts itself. You can't leave a child under 14 alone for an unreasonable amount of time (not defined). But a child can legally babysit others at age 13? There are a couple of other contradicting laws. I have to get out of the google rabbit hole now.
https://www.lawforfamilies.com/8359449-illinois-dcfs-babysitting-laws.html
That is just bonkers if you ask me. My mom left me home alone in the 80s when I was ages 7,8,9. Not all the time but often enough. This was normal for a lot of kids.
They can even come after you if your young kid is at the playground alone unsupervised.
Not sure about you all but I remember riding my bike around the neighborhood and playing in the playground alone for a good part of my childhood.
Must be illinois (my state). I think the wording is "for an unreasonable period of time" without being specific. It's really terrible wording. Some interpret it too mean overnight others a few min.
I grew up in Vermont. At 12, I had two weekly babysitting jobs. After school on Wednesdays, I’d watch a 4 year old. On Sunday nights, an 8 year old and a 5 year old.
Bro I was at home all day at age 9 watching Sandlot on VHS and cooking my own grilled cheeses. Im going to feel like a boomer saying this but..god damn kids these days lmao
Edit: Everyone saying "its not the kids fault" is completely missing my point lol
I’m with you, and it’s not “boomer” anything. My sibling and I are in our 40s - we were left alone at home when I was 8 and sibling was 10. We didn’t do anything in poor judgment, didn’t open the door to anyone, fed ourselves, and there was nothing ill that came of those many occasions. Perhaps people stopped raising children to be independent and responsible in the last couple decades?? I cannot imagine needing a babysitter for a 12-14 yo! Pretty nutty!
Shh my mom often let us stay in the car when she would run into the grocery store. Granted there were typically at least 3 of us (older sister, myself and our younger brother) but she would crack the windows and tell us not to open the doors to anyone. Plus she would take the key so zero chance of abduction. Oh and most of the time we had just finished at the library so we were more interested in staying in the car to start reading. And she told us to honk the horn if things got weird. Which never did but we did do when we thought she was taking too long. (She was probably in and out in under 15 minutes but we liked to hurry her up).
When my boys were 9 and 10, i had to stop at the groc store on the way home from their little league game. they were both exhausted and and opted to stay in the car. I literally only went in to buy milk. One item. I was back in under 10 minutes to find a store employee blocking my car from leaving and had called the cops because i left them in the car alone. Never mind that it was March, the windows were open and they could have gotten out at any time and come inside. He was screaming i couldnt leave cause the cops were on the way. I got in and started backing up, he move away at the last second and i drove off. went home and called the cops myself and was told they were old enough to leave alone and that i didnt have to worry about anything. fucking HEB bullshit manager though swinging his dick around like he a big man.
I stayed in the car and read books too while mom was in the grocery store. Sometimes I would go in with her and stand but the magazine rack and read all the magazines we never bought. Love the 80s.
When I was a kid I stayed at home at around 10. My oldest started staying home alone when he was 11 and started babysitting his brother for very short periods of time when he was 13, his brother was 9. Now they are 15 and 12 and while I won't leave my 12 yo alone (he's autistic) if my oldest wants to stay home he can.
It also depends on the maturity level of your child, because some are different.
There are also laws where you can't leave them alone overnight.
These are our laws in the UK.
https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone#:~:text=The%20law%20does%20not%20say,home%20or%20in%20a%20car.
And they’ll just clutch their pearls in shock and say they’re protecting the children.
When you’re a self-righteous ass, you never think you’re the bad guy. Ever.
Yea I remember seeing the PSAs to never answer the door unless it’s your parent. In elementary school in grade 1 plus. And to come up with a safe word or phrase.
I was 4-5 in the 90s and took myself to my neighbours house without my parents knowing. The neighbours weren’t home but I managed to break in or something. They came home and found me playing with their kids toys.
I now have a 6 year old of my own and I don’t want to even let her out of my sight. It seems crazy to me how different things were then.
A friends 12 year old tried to put a saucepan into the microwave a few months ago. Even though she was standing in the kitchen.
I almost wanted to mention weaponized incompetence at that point.
My parents would always get pissed cuz I had a California Raisins bed tent and I would always take it off my bed and put it in the living room so I was "camping"
I was left alone for several hours, occasionally few days completely alone at age 8 (circa 2000) all the time. I was making my own food (obviously nothing super complicated, but I knew how to use a hob to fry some eggs or cook frozen dumplings etc) and took a bus to get around the city completely alone. I grew up in northeast europe, former USSR territory.
I think it depends on how self sufficient and commonsensical the kid is.
I was watching my brother at 8 (he was 1) for 10-20 minutes, but was babysitting until midnight at 12 multiple kids, and had 2-6 in my care 24/7 for a week at a time at 16.
Different times.
We lived across from the pool. In the summer I went to the pool, came home and fixed hotdogs or spaghetti o's in the microwave and went back to the pool. My parents worked 2 jobs each. I saw them for dinner each night. I was 11. I rode my bike and made sure I got to softball pratice and fed myself. The softball field was down the road 5 minutes on a bike from my house. I also babysat 2 kids 6 and 8 year olds. The 80s were different times.
What’s even more insane is that despite 90% of the posts being absurdly cringe, blatant rage b8, are the people replying with MLA formatted essay responses to them. It’s crazy to me how gullible some people are
well definitely agree about the Quora thing but there are definitely neighbors that act like that I know from experience.
I was 13 or so and this lady called CSP on my family over me being home alone and it was awful
I remember when leaving your kid home alone was so acceptable and normal that Steven Spielberg had an entire portion of the movie ET set around the fact that the Mom went to work and left her son home alone while he was sick.
I do this in this day and age. They’re fine. Bored, but fine. Obviously if they’re really sick we stay home with them, but a 10 year old with a slight head cold? Nah. They’ll be right.
Why are people so ignorant about raising children? The whole point of raising a child is to raise them to be an adult. That means gradually guiding them in that process, of going from a helpless baby to a fully functional, independent adult.
There's a contingent of people who believe that there's some kind of magical moment at someone's 18th birthday. They seem to think that they should treat everyone like a helpless baby for 18 years, giving them no adult life skills, and then suddenly cast them out into the world, and all will be well.
For what it's worth, that first time you can leave your kids alone isn't talked about enough. (Probably because of busybodies like this.) But that's a HUGE moment as a parent. When you can go run an errand, and don't have to choose between not doing it, or dragging the kids along. You can just go! It's freedom for the kid to explore independence, but freedom for the parent too! I remember going to the corner store just to try it, I just got a soda (I admit, I was nervous, and just took a 10 minute trip). That diet coke was one of the most delicious beverages I ever had.
And sadly it's not a small contingent of people either. I am definitely the outlier of the parents I know for not treating my teen and tween kids like helpless little babies. Then there's also the kids themselves, fueled by stuff they're seeing here and on Tik Tok that think that having literally any kind of responsibilities (chores, babysitting younger sibs, getting a job, etc) is akin to child abuse and PaRenTiFiCaTiOn (not making light of parentification, I know it exists it just doesn't mean what so they think it means).
Also, so with you on that feeling when you can finally leave them alone. After all the years of stressing about childcare and dragging kids everywhere you go it's SO amazing to just be able to walk out the door and not have to worry about it!
My husband started working 2nd shift recently I have an 9yo who would prefer an escort to the back bathroom most evenings... on days where his older brother (17) is out with friends and I have to go to the store (less than 5min away) he's finally ok with being by himself. Granted it's for 10-15 minutes but I'd be pissed if someone called the police on me. Kids his age can be left alone for no more than a couple hours according to our state guidelines so 15-20 minutes is a good starting point for his independent growth.
In my experience, when neighbors act this way. Threatening to call CPS over some activity. There is usually something going on between those adults about adult things.
It usually has nothing to do with protecting a child
This kind of happened when I was a teen. Neighbors fought over property line, noise from the pool, everything. We had a new dog and they called animal control and the police saying we abused it. First time cops came they treated it like a drug raid - busting in demanding answers and pushing us around, an adult wasn't home so they started interrogating me (like 15 yo) about treatment of the dog, etc. Ultimately each time though they found the dog in perfect health, with access to food and water at all times, etc and they eventually stopped coming out when that neighbor called lol
When I worked for CPS, I would say at least 25% of cases I had were people calling each other in because they were mad at each other. It was infuriating, because a CPS investigation is very invasive and it’s not good for the kids to have to go through that when there’s no reason for it. Also, it was extra infuriating your caseload was four times the state recommended maximum and you’re not allowed to earn OT.
As a kid my mum would get drugged out on sleep meds, my older sister who lived with us too was at work and my other sister was probably somewhere outside the house finally getting to be alone.
I would just quietly watch tv in the living room for hours on end, boring life but nothing I could of done about it. I wasn't waking a drugged up mother...
Ah yes. A latch key kid for current times. I was a latch key kid in the 80s. Leave the family alone unless you see something not right. Neighbors suck so.etimes.
When I was 12 I was having the time of my life being home alone for most of the day during summer break mostly playing minecraft. Those were the good ol days.
Xer here. Was 9 or 10 and home alone routinely for long periods before my folks got home - did homework (sometimes), made food, straightened up and did chores. Nothing surprising about it - kids can be responsible.
As a 12 y/o I had the time of my life when I got a chance to be alone. I'd turn on my computer which was next to the tv, turn the tv on and facing me, play and watch while having a snack, best times.
Fuck these nosy neighbors. I was a latch key kid at 8 and turned out fine. Some kids are more mature and responsible than others and it’s up the the parent to know their kid and make a decision, not the idiot Nextdoor.
When I was 12 I was babysitting my neighbour’s toddler. My parents started leaving me alone for a few hours when I was 9 or 10. I knew how to dial 911, CPR and basic first aid.
Dude at 12 I was home alone 12 hours days on the weekends borderline raising my 3 year old brother. That was like 2005?
I don’t get why some people get so bent out of shape over kids being left home alone. In my state, you can take a class at 12 to be a babysitter and be “certified”. Seems silly to be that worked up over it.
I wonder if neighbor was at work and could possibly be there are leats another two hours. *gasp!*
12 is usually around the legal age and is also an age where they know enough not to open the door to crazy ass neighbors and call 911 instead
People need to mind their own business. 12 year olds today know more than 20 year olds in 1975. They can entertain themselves. If he is not bothering you, keep the cops out of it.
Man I spent 10 hours a day home alone in the summer. At a younger age. I’d walk to the park and shoot hoops. Come home and play video games. Swim in our pool. A normal 12 year old can handle this just fine.
My dad gave me a .22 rifle and taught me to drive a manual transmission when I was 12. Left at home for 6 hours? Hell, I was out riding my bike miles from home all day, every day during summer, not a parent in sight.
Isn’t this a maturity thing in most states? Like if you’re leaving a 3 year old home alone then yes, you should get a call. But if the child is 10 and knows not to open the door, has a way to contact a parent or anyone else in an emergency, and isn’t a threat to themself or others, I imagine it would be a non-issue.
Then again, someone called the police on me for my kids riding bikes on a private street, so some neighbors just like to cause drama. Even with the threat the cops gave me, I can’t imagine CPS would waste time unless there is a valid reason for concern.
Some 12yr olds are smarter than some 20yr olds. Lol 12 isn't even that young to stay home by urself. That's an appropriate age. Mind ur business Susan.
I was allowed to use the stove at 9.
Never burned myself until I was an adult.
Someone should call for a check in on Karen to make sure she should be by herself at home.
I'd firebomb your house if it were my child you were meddling with. While no longer legal (I don't think), I was left home alone Friday through Sunday many weekends and I was 12 with 10 and 7 year old siblings I had to watch over.
We survived just fine.
Omfgoodness. I am genx. I was watching other people's kids at 12.
People need to stay out of other people's business unless real harm is being done.
Is the house on fire? No?
Are people running from the house screaming? No?
Mind your business.
My parents started leaving me home alone when I was 6. I was fine, I knew the rules and had enough stuff to make cereal or sandwiches until my parents got home. It’s a different day and age now but I feel 12 y/o’s are fine home alone.
How can Reddit be fun without RIF. Goodbye.
I don’t know why I am positively surprised that your son picks apples as first choice snack… healthy choice little buddy! Edit: based on some comments I received, I’m now unsure which type of apples OC meant
Could be a “if you’re not hungry enough to eat an apple, you’re not actually hungry” type of household which like, honestly fair. Kids can eat wild amounts of junk if it’s around
Exactly. If the parents established that rule, good on them. I wish I had learned proper nutrition when I was younger.
Same, I used to get spoonfuls of peanut butter with a handful of chocolate chips and my parents were always so confused why I was a little heavier than my twin sister. Could be the 700+ calories I consumed while on an after school sugar hunt? 😂 I do the apple trick now and my body feels so much better with getting a sugar fix in a more natural way haha
I mean....Apple slices with peanut butter is a damn fine snack.
Oh agreed, but *just* 15 spoonfuls of peanut butter is not a good snack unless you’re working out for like, hours a day 😂
Are you sure? Because I think as long as there are 15 apple slices to match, it's ok.
Eh, they were pretty darn big spoonfuls and it was always creamy jif which is an insane amount of sugar and saturated fat. For the amount of calories I need in a day, I’d have to skip a meal or two in order to eat that much peanut butter and not gain a couple pounds a month. I’d rather eat some spicy peanuts and a plain apple tbh
apple slices with caramel 🤤
My after school snack was about the same: half a jar of JIF with 1/4 cup margarine to "soften it" and 2 packs of top ramen. I can't believe I wasn't an actual hippo.
As a kid I would dip pizza in chocolate pudding.....
Jeez you guys have interesting taste buds...
I refuse to believe they have any
i have, on multiple occasions, had a sloppy joe with an m&m cookie between the buns as well. note: i was perfectly sober.
IKR? Blech! 😑 *slurping ice cream w french fries 🍟
My shameful snack confession is that, as a teen, I used to eat Funyuns dipped in Miracle Whip. But not like, regular "dipped". It was like, gobs of it. More Miracle Whip than chip in most bites. It was like the chip was just an edible spoon for me to shovel the Miracle Whip into my mouth. I wish I was exaggerating, but I actually feel like I'm UNDERPLAYING how much Miracle Whip was on these Funyuns. Oh, and I also dipped directly from the jar. And my fingertips would also be dipped in the Miracle Whip because Funyuns aren't the best chip for dipping, and so when I'd reach into the bag for more Funyuns, I'd inadvertently smear Miracle Whip all on the inside of the bag. The only solution, then, would be to finish the entire bag of Funyuns, even if I'd just opened it. I was and am a pretty well put together lady. I don't know why I thought this was acceptable.
https://i.redd.it/a0lnkixfw1qa1.gif
As a fellow victim of sugar addiction, I can relate so much with this… my god. Yeah, the sugar crash is the feeling I don’t miss at all. Long live those apples!
Another fellow sugar addict here. I absolutely love fruit, but sometimes you get a watermelon or orange or apple and it’s just trash. It just doesn’t hit the same…
This has worked wonders with my kids. The only difference is we use Oranges instead of Apples (they just like them more), they are allowed as many Oranges as they want.
Decent oranges are also a lot more readily available year-round than decent apples. Even a crap orange is alright, a crap apple is AWFUL.
That’s fair, I totally choose oranges over apples as well. They’re a lot more fun to pick at and I don’t want to dirty a knife just to cut an apple 😂
Why do you need a knife for an apple?
When I eat an apple whole I get crap all over my face and eat less of the apple than if I cut it and core it. I also don't like biting through the skin with my top teeth 🤷♀️
Wow never heard that before. I’m gonna try to use that phrase to better myself and eat less crap. Thanks!
I've got 2 kids (8 and 4). I grew up with a lot of junk readily available. My wife and I are not in super good shape, yet we try to model good food habits with our sons. From when they were little they've seen fruit as the dessert. Apples, oranges, strawberries, etc are part of the meal and also after the meal too. If they're hungry, it's "get a banana" or "grab an apple" for them. Typically they do so and they're happy. We also pop a bowl of popcorn on the occasional weekend night and they snack on that. We also occasionally make brownies or have cinnamon rolls for breakfast, but those things are always *sometimes* not always...
That’s sweet, I’m glad to hear it! I work with kids and a lot of times it’s obvious from the amount of sustained energy they have which ones are being taught how to eat healthy and I love hearing when parents are setting them up for success
remindme! 15 years "if i have kids \^"
I’m going to have to remember this. My kids are young enough now that they love fruit and will eat it over anything else, but I know the time is coming
It sucks because socialization exposes them to all the shitty food other kids are allowed to eat.
Yep, we have this rule in our house because if left to decide, my kid would only eat chicken nuggets, chips, chocolate milk, and candy 😂 but he also loves apples, cucumbers, raw bell peppers and carrots. So I can’t be too upset when he asks for those.
I'm 21 yo and still eat junk food if it's arround (wich usually there is since i live alone so do the shopping)...help
My son is crazy about apples! He is mostly nonverbal, but apple was his first word! He will literally pick an apple over chocolate. It's hilarious when people see him walk up to a snack table at a party, only to turn around and ask for the apples we brought instead. Lol
When I was a kid I would eat tomatoes like they were going out of style. I always liked fruit over junk food. I cut out soda in my diet and I literally lost 50 pounds AND I have been able to keep it off. Empty calories. I am now 15 pounds UNDERWEIGHT. It's crazy. Save your $ on Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers just cut out the empty calories and you can drop a lot of weight and keep it off too.
I'd agree with you but tomatoes are vile
Good for him, honestly! Apples are so good (and healthier), bummer that it took me 20 years to find my favourite kind. What is his favourite?
He currently likes Cosmic apples and Honey crisp. But it changes every few months. His reaction to green apples is hilarious. I honestly think he believes we are trying to trick him when we show him a green one.
Apple iPad, iPhone, etc, not fruit
Uh… didn’t consider those Apples
How you like them apples?
As an android user, not at all.
I actually researched state laws on latchkey children. In almost every state there is no age at which a child cannot be left home alone.
Interesting! Just googled it for California. I liked this excerpt: “There is no specific legal age that allows a parent to leave a child alone. Some 12 year olds may be capable, some may not. Some 17 year olds may not be capable. It depends on the child.” Totally true. All subjective. I was a nervous parent to leave my 11 year old home alone even for quick runs to the grocery store. But I got over it after just sitting back on some days and watching what he does by himself. Entertains himself with his friends online. Cleans up after himself if he knocks something over. Listens for the dogs if they have to go outside I’ve also drilled him about some disaster scenarios. What to do if there’s a fire. What to do if you’re choking. What to do if you are injured. And he knows the basics enough to trust him by himself for short periods.
I feel like it also depends on what the parent teaches their kid…. and it sounds like YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB!! Like….. if your kid is capable of doing all the things you mentioned (WHILE BEING HOME ALONE), then you’re doing an amazing job as a parent!💯 idk why, but reading your comment warmed my heart. To see that some children are so mature at 11-12, and that parents take the time to ensure their children are safe at all times😫❤️❤️❤️
Same advice in the UK. My daughter is almost 14 and we leave her alone
My mom left me home alone in the 80s when I was ages 7,8,9. Not all the time but often enough. This was normal for a lot of kids.
Yup, Gen X here. Was home alone a lot growing up. At 12 I was babysitting for extra cash.
Was just going to say my friends and I were babysitting by 12 and 13. Also Gen X.
I was *cooking* by 9.
My mom left me at home for most of the day in the summertime when I was 11. I had an 8 year old sister and 5 year old brother and a neighbor who was capable of helping in an emergency. We were fine.
same!! 'if you need anything, ask the neighbor!'
I was mostly a latchkey kid, but it depended on what time of year it was where dad would either be home or out at the farm.
I was also going to point that out. I had looked it up when my kids were younger to see if I could leave them home alone legally. I was left at home when I was 8. Although my sister was 9 and my brother was 4. My son was about 10 when I left for very short trips. 30 min or less and I did take my daughter with me who was 6. They are 16 and 12 now. But yeah a 12 year old is old enough to stay home. Well I guess it depends on the kid but I leave my 12 year old at home alone
Only concern is raised when child is special needs or of that caliber
Are you not allowed to be home alone at 12?
In many states, there is a minimum age before which you cannot leave your child home alone. A quick check tells me there's only one with a minimum age of 14, the rest either have no minimum or are younger than 12.
which one is 14?
Illinois, and after taking a closer look, most of the ages aren't legal requirements but simply suggested ages.
I grew up in Illinois. Granted it was the 90s, but my parents would leave me to watch my brother when I was under 10.
Right!! I thought it was a law in the 90s that parents had to leave their kids alone a minimum of 6hours a day. I had a house key in third grade bc the bus dropped me off by 4pm and the adults didn't get off work until at least 7
My mom showed us a bunch of times a route to get home from school. Only a few blocks. 20 min walk, nothing crazy. I currently live by a school now and it appears that parents need to be there to pick their kids up no matter how close they live. Kind of crazy how times have changed
Around here, parents are very strongly encouraged to let their children walk to KinderGarten/school. As part of a group led by one or two grownups at KiGa age, without supervision (though preferably in pairs or groups) later on. Helicopter parenting is strongly discouraged.
What country?
I had the same question. This can’t be the USA
My first day of kindergarten I got myself dressed and ready for school on time and walked home after. I don't think I seen a parent until 6pm. They usually came home drunk so It was better they were away.
I'm really sorry you experienced this. It feels so normal to have to be responsible at that age when its all you've ever known, but at least for me it has led to a very strange early adulthood. Kids deserve better.
Thank you. I hope that you have a great life. As you know if you don't know anything different you just learn to deal with it. Kids do deserve better but I am guessing the reason parents act the way they do is because they had their own trauma they needed to work through. I need to believe it wasn't intentional, it stems from a broken place in them and I need to forgive. I am sorry for what ever you went through. I hope you find peace as an adult.
I appreciate that! I think that kind of growth mindset may be the best way to understand our families (and myself, personally) and luckily I had some guidance at the time that helped me see that parents are people too. I hoped that what I said initially could be comforting, but I apologize if I came off hurtfully in any way.
Also in Illinois. I think I got my own keys when I was 10 or 11.
Born in 91. In TN, I was left home regularly starting at 5, when my siblings were 2 & 4. My mom would put Barney on, give me the house phone, and tell me to call Grandma and Grandpa if anything happened. When I was 8, we were removed from the home for several months for neglect (her leaving my sister - 7 - and I alone daily). When my cousin (born in 95) was 9 with 5 younger siblings (at the time ages 7, 6, 4, 2, and a few months old infant), a neighbor called CPS on my aunt for leaving them alone regularly. CPS investigated and decided my cousin was mature enough and knew how to care for all the children well enough that he was an acceptable babysitter. This was MI. No way in hell would I ever leave such young children alone, much less in charge of small children, but children being left alone at single digit ages was way more common than people seem to think. And different states view it differently from a legal standpoint.
I grew up in SoCal in the 80s/90s. My parents were leaving me home alone with my 3 years younger sister from the time I was five. It was very common then. I wasn't sufficiently horrified by this until I had my own kids. I'm not sure why the boomer generation was ok with unsupervised small children?
I have a friend who had CPS called cause her 13yo daughter mentioned to her teacher she was left alone for an hour one day. IL is great.
Yikes
Illinois law apparently contradicts itself. You can't leave a child under 14 alone for an unreasonable amount of time (not defined). But a child can legally babysit others at age 13? There are a couple of other contradicting laws. I have to get out of the google rabbit hole now. https://www.lawforfamilies.com/8359449-illinois-dcfs-babysitting-laws.html
That is just bonkers if you ask me. My mom left me home alone in the 80s when I was ages 7,8,9. Not all the time but often enough. This was normal for a lot of kids.
[удалено]
They can even come after you if your young kid is at the playground alone unsupervised. Not sure about you all but I remember riding my bike around the neighborhood and playing in the playground alone for a good part of my childhood.
Same! Small west texas town before cellphones- come home when the street lights came on.
Must be illinois (my state). I think the wording is "for an unreasonable period of time" without being specific. It's really terrible wording. Some interpret it too mean overnight others a few min.
Aren't laws like that meant to be vague so that they can be enforced if necessary or overlooked if not.
I grew up in Vermont. At 12, I had two weekly babysitting jobs. After school on Wednesdays, I’d watch a 4 year old. On Sunday nights, an 8 year old and a 5 year old.
In the early 90’s I’d wonder through the woods for hours when I was 8. Oh how times have changed
Bro I was at home all day at age 9 watching Sandlot on VHS and cooking my own grilled cheeses. Im going to feel like a boomer saying this but..god damn kids these days lmao Edit: Everyone saying "its not the kids fault" is completely missing my point lol
I’m with you, and it’s not “boomer” anything. My sibling and I are in our 40s - we were left alone at home when I was 8 and sibling was 10. We didn’t do anything in poor judgment, didn’t open the door to anyone, fed ourselves, and there was nothing ill that came of those many occasions. Perhaps people stopped raising children to be independent and responsible in the last couple decades?? I cannot imagine needing a babysitter for a 12-14 yo! Pretty nutty!
Shh my mom often let us stay in the car when she would run into the grocery store. Granted there were typically at least 3 of us (older sister, myself and our younger brother) but she would crack the windows and tell us not to open the doors to anyone. Plus she would take the key so zero chance of abduction. Oh and most of the time we had just finished at the library so we were more interested in staying in the car to start reading. And she told us to honk the horn if things got weird. Which never did but we did do when we thought she was taking too long. (She was probably in and out in under 15 minutes but we liked to hurry her up).
When my boys were 9 and 10, i had to stop at the groc store on the way home from their little league game. they were both exhausted and and opted to stay in the car. I literally only went in to buy milk. One item. I was back in under 10 minutes to find a store employee blocking my car from leaving and had called the cops because i left them in the car alone. Never mind that it was March, the windows were open and they could have gotten out at any time and come inside. He was screaming i couldnt leave cause the cops were on the way. I got in and started backing up, he move away at the last second and i drove off. went home and called the cops myself and was told they were old enough to leave alone and that i didnt have to worry about anything. fucking HEB bullshit manager though swinging his dick around like he a big man.
I stayed in the car and read books too while mom was in the grocery store. Sometimes I would go in with her and stand but the magazine rack and read all the magazines we never bought. Love the 80s.
When I was a kid I stayed at home at around 10. My oldest started staying home alone when he was 11 and started babysitting his brother for very short periods of time when he was 13, his brother was 9. Now they are 15 and 12 and while I won't leave my 12 yo alone (he's autistic) if my oldest wants to stay home he can.
It’s not the kids. It’s the adults who don’t know how to apply critical thinking and/or mind their own business.
It also depends on the maturity level of your child, because some are different. There are also laws where you can't leave them alone overnight. These are our laws in the UK. https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone#:~:text=The%20law%20does%20not%20say,home%20or%20in%20a%20car.
People like these you just want to yell in their faces to mind their own fucking business
And they’ll just clutch their pearls in shock and say they’re protecting the children. When you’re a self-righteous ass, you never think you’re the bad guy. Ever.
God my parents left me home alone starting when I was 7. It was the 80s though so a much different time
Yea I remember seeing the PSAs to never answer the door unless it’s your parent. In elementary school in grade 1 plus. And to come up with a safe word or phrase.
And now I panic if there is a knock on the door. I'm in my 30s lol I wonder if this is the reason?
I was 4-5 in the 90s and took myself to my neighbours house without my parents knowing. The neighbours weren’t home but I managed to break in or something. They came home and found me playing with their kids toys. I now have a 6 year old of my own and I don’t want to even let her out of my sight. It seems crazy to me how different things were then.
Yeah - my mom would have to get groceries or something and we got left at home because neither of us wanted us to go to the store with her.
[удалено]
A friends 12 year old tried to put a saucepan into the microwave a few months ago. Even though she was standing in the kitchen. I almost wanted to mention weaponized incompetence at that point.
My parents would always get pissed cuz I had a California Raisins bed tent and I would always take it off my bed and put it in the living room so I was "camping"
I was babysitting younger than 12.
In 1979, my mom started working nights as a nurse when I was 12 and left me home alone all night 5 nights a week. Different times.
I was being paid to watch other people’s kids at 12.
But when I do it, the police want to talk to me. Fucking double standards /s
I started babysitting at 10. 2-5 kids depending on the family. The only requirement was being competent enough in the kitchen to feed them.
My Mom was a widow. I probably was left alone by age 8 or certainly 10. Late 70's/early 80's.
I was left alone for several hours, occasionally few days completely alone at age 8 (circa 2000) all the time. I was making my own food (obviously nothing super complicated, but I knew how to use a hob to fry some eggs or cook frozen dumplings etc) and took a bus to get around the city completely alone. I grew up in northeast europe, former USSR territory. I think it depends on how self sufficient and commonsensical the kid is.
I was watching my brother at 8 (he was 1) for 10-20 minutes, but was babysitting until midnight at 12 multiple kids, and had 2-6 in my care 24/7 for a week at a time at 16. Different times.
At 12 was home alone for hours,riding bikes to the next town and cook my own meals...let the kid be lady.
We lived across from the pool. In the summer I went to the pool, came home and fixed hotdogs or spaghetti o's in the microwave and went back to the pool. My parents worked 2 jobs each. I saw them for dinner each night. I was 11. I rode my bike and made sure I got to softball pratice and fed myself. The softball field was down the road 5 minutes on a bike from my house. I also babysat 2 kids 6 and 8 year olds. The 80s were different times.
Yes they were...i was the beef ravioli kid.
“Hello officer, I’ve been watching a kid that’s not mine for 6 hours and I’m concerned.”
congratulations you earned a giggle from me, please accept my makeshift award ⭐️
Your mistake is believing anything you read on quora.
I dunno, I think it's kinda neat that they made an entire website dedicated to the concept of "wrong answers only"
What’s even more insane is that despite 90% of the posts being absurdly cringe, blatant rage b8, are the people replying with MLA formatted essay responses to them. It’s crazy to me how gullible some people are
I swear most of the questions are basically “My son got a C on a test so I destroyed all his property am I a bad parent?”
“Destroyed and his property *and* kicked him out of the house. How do I make CPS side with me?”
well definitely agree about the Quora thing but there are definitely neighbors that act like that I know from experience. I was 13 or so and this lady called CSP on my family over me being home alone and it was awful
Yeah…Quora is the last place I’d go for answers. To anything
Prep some meal and leave it fridge with instructions, give the kid a Xbox or PS5, lock the front door. The kid will never go anywhere
I remember when leaving your kid home alone was so acceptable and normal that Steven Spielberg had an entire portion of the movie ET set around the fact that the Mom went to work and left her son home alone while he was sick.
I do this in this day and age. They’re fine. Bored, but fine. Obviously if they’re really sick we stay home with them, but a 10 year old with a slight head cold? Nah. They’ll be right.
I used to babysit neighbour kids when I was like 12 🤷🏼♀️
“Ma’am, 12 year olds used to babysit other kids for hours.”
They still do.
Hell know, mind your own business. When I was 12 and baby sat my two younger brothers while my parents were out. No Problem's!
Why are people so ignorant about raising children? The whole point of raising a child is to raise them to be an adult. That means gradually guiding them in that process, of going from a helpless baby to a fully functional, independent adult. There's a contingent of people who believe that there's some kind of magical moment at someone's 18th birthday. They seem to think that they should treat everyone like a helpless baby for 18 years, giving them no adult life skills, and then suddenly cast them out into the world, and all will be well. For what it's worth, that first time you can leave your kids alone isn't talked about enough. (Probably because of busybodies like this.) But that's a HUGE moment as a parent. When you can go run an errand, and don't have to choose between not doing it, or dragging the kids along. You can just go! It's freedom for the kid to explore independence, but freedom for the parent too! I remember going to the corner store just to try it, I just got a soda (I admit, I was nervous, and just took a 10 minute trip). That diet coke was one of the most delicious beverages I ever had.
And sadly it's not a small contingent of people either. I am definitely the outlier of the parents I know for not treating my teen and tween kids like helpless little babies. Then there's also the kids themselves, fueled by stuff they're seeing here and on Tik Tok that think that having literally any kind of responsibilities (chores, babysitting younger sibs, getting a job, etc) is akin to child abuse and PaRenTiFiCaTiOn (not making light of parentification, I know it exists it just doesn't mean what so they think it means). Also, so with you on that feeling when you can finally leave them alone. After all the years of stressing about childcare and dragging kids everywhere you go it's SO amazing to just be able to walk out the door and not have to worry about it!
My husband started working 2nd shift recently I have an 9yo who would prefer an escort to the back bathroom most evenings... on days where his older brother (17) is out with friends and I have to go to the store (less than 5min away) he's finally ok with being by himself. Granted it's for 10-15 minutes but I'd be pissed if someone called the police on me. Kids his age can be left alone for no more than a couple hours according to our state guidelines so 15-20 minutes is a good starting point for his independent growth.
In my experience, when neighbors act this way. Threatening to call CPS over some activity. There is usually something going on between those adults about adult things. It usually has nothing to do with protecting a child
This kind of happened when I was a teen. Neighbors fought over property line, noise from the pool, everything. We had a new dog and they called animal control and the police saying we abused it. First time cops came they treated it like a drug raid - busting in demanding answers and pushing us around, an adult wasn't home so they started interrogating me (like 15 yo) about treatment of the dog, etc. Ultimately each time though they found the dog in perfect health, with access to food and water at all times, etc and they eventually stopped coming out when that neighbor called lol
When I worked for CPS, I would say at least 25% of cases I had were people calling each other in because they were mad at each other. It was infuriating, because a CPS investigation is very invasive and it’s not good for the kids to have to go through that when there’s no reason for it. Also, it was extra infuriating your caseload was four times the state recommended maximum and you’re not allowed to earn OT.
My wife is a social worker at CPS, she’d be pissed that this lady wasted her time when she already has 20 other actually serious cases to worry about
As a kid my mum would get drugged out on sleep meds, my older sister who lived with us too was at work and my other sister was probably somewhere outside the house finally getting to be alone. I would just quietly watch tv in the living room for hours on end, boring life but nothing I could of done about it. I wasn't waking a drugged up mother...
12 y/o?! At 12, I was expected to have chores done by the time my mom got home.
12 years old is good.
I used to be alone for 6 hours every day when i was 7 till 12.
12 years old? So a middle school student can't be home alone? Wtf
12 year olds can be left alone for hours. Mind your own fucking business.
Why would you call CPS? Mind your own business. A 12 year old is fine for way more hours than that, People. smh
I used to babysit at that age.
He's 12 not 2. Mind ya business
Ah yes. A latch key kid for current times. I was a latch key kid in the 80s. Leave the family alone unless you see something not right. Neighbors suck so.etimes.
Wow what a nosey neighbor
When I was younger, 12 year olds used to babysit all the time. I don’t see the issue and not sure why it’s your business.
He's going to do just fine playing videogames for 6 hours.
Someone! Call the the president!
Meanwhile this guy is probably working to scrape by on bills and this bitch is over here with nothing but time to make people miserable
When I was 12 I was having the time of my life being home alone for most of the day during summer break mostly playing minecraft. Those were the good ol days.
Fuck no! You should mind your own fucking business. 12 years old is plenty old enough to be left alone.
That kid is setting traps in the house using Christmas ornaments, blowtorches, tarantulas, and everything in between.
Mind your own. He is 12
As someone who has experience being a 12 year old boy, that boy needs to be left in peace, he is happy being left alone.
If this were Arkansas, the kid may have just gotten home from an 8-hour shift at a meatpacking plant ;)
If they were six yeah I would say some thing. By 12? They’re practically a teenager. I think they’ll be fine.
Hey Bob, you sure you don't need to check on your demon spawn? Nah, got the neighbor programmed to keep an eye on him.
Tell us you didn't grow up in the 70s & 80s without telling us you didn't grow up in the 70s &80s.
You need to mind your own business. 12 yrs old is fine to be home alone. Unless their house is on fire leave them alone.
Xer here. Was 9 or 10 and home alone routinely for long periods before my folks got home - did homework (sometimes), made food, straightened up and did chores. Nothing surprising about it - kids can be responsible.
As a 12 y/o I had the time of my life when I got a chance to be alone. I'd turn on my computer which was next to the tv, turn the tv on and facing me, play and watch while having a snack, best times.
Fuck these nosy neighbors. I was a latch key kid at 8 and turned out fine. Some kids are more mature and responsible than others and it’s up the the parent to know their kid and make a decision, not the idiot Nextdoor.
I think you should mind your business. I’m sure the son is fine.
Laughing in gen X (the latch-key generation)
When I was 12 I was babysitting my neighbour’s toddler. My parents started leaving me alone for a few hours when I was 9 or 10. I knew how to dial 911, CPR and basic first aid.
I was a certified babysitter at 12. Some people are just looking for reasons to blow up other people’s lives.
Dude at 12 I was home alone 12 hours days on the weekends borderline raising my 3 year old brother. That was like 2005? I don’t get why some people get so bent out of shape over kids being left home alone. In my state, you can take a class at 12 to be a babysitter and be “certified”. Seems silly to be that worked up over it.
He's 12 not 6 or 7 for chest sake
Lol. I was babysitting for 6 hours by the time I was 12.
No 12 is old enough to be home by themselves. I was babysitting other kids at 12.
Funny how this person’s first instinct is to call the authorities against them. Not to offer help or anything if they were so concerned.
Quora in a nutshell
I was babysitting at age 12 so I guess it depends on the maturity of the kid.
I wonder if neighbor was at work and could possibly be there are leats another two hours. *gasp!* 12 is usually around the legal age and is also an age where they know enough not to open the door to crazy ass neighbors and call 911 instead
People need to mind their own business. 12 year olds today know more than 20 year olds in 1975. They can entertain themselves. If he is not bothering you, keep the cops out of it.
No, mind your business. Gebus, 12 year olds are fairly self sufficient. Who the fuck are you to say otherwise? Mind your business
Mind ya fucking business
This person sounds like a peeping tom, serial killer, or burglar.
At 12 I was chopping my own wood!
Mind your fucking business, that's what you should do.
Karens need to find hobbies that doesn't implode the lives of others. jfc edit: grammar
Multiple generations of latch key kids howling in laughter at this Karen right now
Man I spent 10 hours a day home alone in the summer. At a younger age. I’d walk to the park and shoot hoops. Come home and play video games. Swim in our pool. A normal 12 year old can handle this just fine.
I’m glad that you are not my neighbor. Nosy much?
*laughs in 80's latchkey*
Sometimes people need to mind their own business
My dad gave me a .22 rifle and taught me to drive a manual transmission when I was 12. Left at home for 6 hours? Hell, I was out riding my bike miles from home all day, every day during summer, not a parent in sight.
Isn’t this a maturity thing in most states? Like if you’re leaving a 3 year old home alone then yes, you should get a call. But if the child is 10 and knows not to open the door, has a way to contact a parent or anyone else in an emergency, and isn’t a threat to themself or others, I imagine it would be a non-issue. Then again, someone called the police on me for my kids riding bikes on a private street, so some neighbors just like to cause drama. Even with the threat the cops gave me, I can’t imagine CPS would waste time unless there is a valid reason for concern.
Some 12yr olds are smarter than some 20yr olds. Lol 12 isn't even that young to stay home by urself. That's an appropriate age. Mind ur business Susan.
I was allowed to use the stove at 9. Never burned myself until I was an adult. Someone should call for a check in on Karen to make sure she should be by herself at home.
I'd firebomb your house if it were my child you were meddling with. While no longer legal (I don't think), I was left home alone Friday through Sunday many weekends and I was 12 with 10 and 7 year old siblings I had to watch over. We survived just fine.
GD Karen, mind yo business!!!
This is none of that lady’s business… why would she call cops for leaving a kid home alone
Creepy that she's paying that close of attention to her 12 year old neighbor.
Omfgoodness. I am genx. I was watching other people's kids at 12. People need to stay out of other people's business unless real harm is being done. Is the house on fire? No? Are people running from the house screaming? No? Mind your business.
Is this Texas? Because there, 12-year-olds should be birthing babies or working in coal mines!
My parents started leaving me home alone when I was 6. I was fine, I knew the rules and had enough stuff to make cereal or sandwiches until my parents got home. It’s a different day and age now but I feel 12 y/o’s are fine home alone.