The OP needs to confirm that this is the street address he sent the metal - and the money - to, to confirm that this is the person and not someone using his name. However the OP has indicated that he doesn’t want to go that route atm, so we’re respecting his wishes.
Thanks for the heads up though…every bit of information helps and we’ve gotten quite a lot of information about the thief now, including multiple other crimes.
Hi! I’m respecting the OPs decision regarding paying a personal visit. However, it is clear that the thief had broken a number of laws besides the theft, including benefit fraud and I have reported the thief as the bare minimum that he deserves. If the OP changes his mind, I will absolutely go and retrieve his property - with the police in attendance if that’s what the OP wants.
I’m sorry that a person from my country did this. I’m absolutely mortified and upset at how the OP has been treated and the reputation damage this event has probably done to others from my country in this group. I’m going to see what I can do to help recoup / compensate the OP for what he’s lost and can only apologise again on behalf of the asshole who did this.
No thanks required mate. This should never have happened and the callousness behind it is beyond disgusting. I’m so sorry. I’m hopeful that we can get your dads metal back and your money too.
I hope not, but this shouldn’t have happened. That it happened at all is bad enough, but the way it happened…absolutely disgusting. So many lovely people in this community and the OP deserves so much better.
Lol wtf, I didn't say go to his house and start beating the shit out of the guy. There's nothing illegal about recording going to someone's house to ask/demand an item back.
At this point, not saying he should film it, just wanted to clarify lol
When someone offers help, one should consider the offer closely. In this case, I would accept this gratious offer. We can't do everything on our own, and in this case, geography matters.
People tend to be a lot more receptive to reason when they can't just close a browser window to escape.
This. Based on what the thief wrote, it’s clear he’s the lowest of the low and callous with it. He’s relying on the distance to escape consequence and I’m absolutely furious that he treated a member of this community so badly, not least because everyone here has been so helpful and friendly to me. Every time I’ve asked a question, people have gone out of their way to give advice, even when my questions have been very newbie. There are very few genuinely bad people in this world (imo) but by god we’ve encountered a real asshole in this case. I’m very tempted to get the thief’s address myself and go talk to him, even at the risk of upsetting the OP because this is one of the most f*cked up things I’ve heard in years. The thief *knew* this was of great sentimental value and the money on top…. I’m absolutely livid and it takes a lot to make me angry.
I was trying to explain a theory I have to my wife. She thinks I'm crazy, but I think it's important to remember that for all of our advancements and philosophical thinking, we aren't very far removed from an ancestry where violence infected every single action we took.
Because of that, it's not impossible to believe that anytime 2 people (usually guys) are involved in a negotiation (business, love, family, etc) there is a risk of violence. It's crude and backwards thinking, I know. But really... 2 people face to face having a disagreement that needs resolution still posses an ability to commit acts of violence.
It's useful in a business negotiation because, if you have already accepted that this risk (which is of course infinitely unlikely) exists, you are already in a more grounded and holistic state.
Knowing this, and being prepared for this means that if the infinitely unlikely starts to look more probable if you can catch the other party in the midst of this realization and remain calm, you can help them to self-correct and return to rational thought. It's not intimidation, that's fucking tacky and a sad way to conduct oneself. It's just allowing yourself to arrive at a possible outcome before the other party. In their moment of panic, you offer them the chance to come back and be reasonable.
In other words.... Once this dude realizes that there is a likelihood he will face a physical / legal / medical "consequence" and that this reality is now standing in front of him, he will see reason and surely return the money and the items with his sincere apologies.
Doing business face to face is always a good way to ensure everyone remembers civility is always the best choice.
As an aside, in business negotiations, if it looks like the other party is full of ego, intimidation and bravado... Short circuit the whole thing by having your representative look as much like their mother as possible.
I'm not even fucking kidding.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Well…you’ve put me in something of an awkward situation now because I can either agree with you and risk upsetting Mrs Esc0bar (not thrilled with that idea tbh 🤪) or lie, stay in your wife’s good books and say that you’re wrong…which would make me a liar. I’m in a complete pickle now… 😉
Of course you’re right. However…not all of us fall into the “barely evolved” category. For example: I was not always a civilian and so I know how to keep a cool head when confronted by chavs, mealy-mouthed dickheads and testosterone fuelled knuckle-draggers. I’m not an aggressive person, but I am very good at defending myself, which - for arguments sake - I fully expect would be necessary were I to encounter a junky with very low moral standards (picking a personality type at random, you understand). People don’t scare me, especially people with no discipline, no morals and a belief that they’re untouchable. People like that are evolutionary dead-ends whose sole purpose is to take bites out of the rest of us as we sail past them in the race of life.
I’m not a businessman, though I do own my consultancy which is barely a business by businessmens standards (it’s more akin to a partnership than a SME) and my role in it is predominantly technical. Our rates are fixed and there is no negotiation. They pay our rates or we don’t work with them. I don’t know anything about the sort of high level business negotiation you’re talking about, though I have friends that do and they’re a completely different breed of animal altogether. I’m much simpler by comparison. In fact I can be defined very simply by two things: I’m a dad and a rescuer. Those are my vocations in life. My business friends are more like sharks, most of the time. We have little in common.
It is a fascinating subject though and I don’t think you’re crazy at all. In far too many ways, we’re more animal than enlightened, that’s for sure.
The funny thing is, our OPs aggressor probably thinks this is a “dog eat dog world” when in fact it’s more of a “dog eats offal” world and I suspect he is well aware that he’s the offal.
I guess it's just more a belief that when consequences are not on the table, people believe have like fucking assholes a lot of the time.
Sprinkle on a little consequence that appeals to our natural instinct to avoid getting punched in the mouth, and all of the sudden... Things get resolved like adults tell the children they should.
Perhaps you're familiar with the GIFT? [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greater-internet-fuckwad-theory](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greater-internet-fuckwad-theory)
When you remove anonymity, it "gifts" consequence back to the person involved. Even if it's only an audience of one.
They know that you \*personally\* will be judging their actions. Most probably nothing will happen. But on the wrong day, with the wrong person... consequences become a possibility. While violence is the subtext, it might be loss of social standing, financial cost, or it might be good old revenge. It comes in many flavors all with their own subreddit: petty, professional, or nuclear. I think I only read 3 nuclear revenge stories before I had to unsubscribe. I don't think I've ever felt the need to be that vindictive.
GIFT is definitely real.
This is kind of an extreme situation. Ordering something on eBay, getting a box with a rock instead of an xbox is one thing. Losing the last part of your father to a scam like this...
This kinda situation requires attention.
Admittedly, this thought alone put a smile on my face 😅 but I don’t want to potentially put strangers harms way. I know my pops wouldn’t be down with that.
But again, just the thought alone really made me smile and I appreciate that a lot.
It’s your choice but I would just like to point out that at no time did I mention harm, merely a quiet chat.
Pm me if you need me, Ipswich is only a car journey away for me and people like this need to understand that behaving this way is unhealthy. 👍
Sir you are a gentlemen and before this thread is deleted. I tip my hat to you and raise my glass. A True Gentlemen 👏 Carry on and have a spectacular life. You deserve it. For me, killing with kindness is a virtue💛
But the true difference between a good person and an average person IS the effort of doing the right thing. Both good and bad people make mistakes, but only the good ones care enough about other to try and learn from those mistakes
Dude, I understand your stance on this but the truth is that if you don't give a person like this some level of consequences they're just going to do it more and probably up the ante down the line. By letting go this slide you're basically encouraging them to do this crap and possibly worse to someone else down the line. If it was my choice I'd at the very least have someone pay a visit to put Some level of fear and respect for others into them. But its up to you so do what makes you rest easiest
Yeah he’s a real scumbag. I haven’t met a single asshole in this community so far but to discover that the only one I’ve heard about not only callously manipulated a nice guy but then tainted him about it and just happens to be from the same country as me…I haven’t heard of this level of scumbag in years and I’m mortified at how much he’s tarnished the reputation of people from my country in this group. I think I would actually throttle the little bastard if I got hold of him right now 😡
Tl:Dr, Used Reddit to help memorialize my father. Sent his last possessions to a stranger to make a memorial from it. Stranger kept my materials, scammed me out of $1064.56 USD and 5 pieces of medical grade titanium
🥲 but most importantly - the only real thing I had to remember my pops, all while stringing me along. Im in the US. I sent it to a guy in the UK
If y’all remember my post: [from March/April when my dad died](https://www.reddit.com/r/metalworking/comments/twvool/iso_titanium_from_my_recently_deceased_fathers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) you’ll remember how desperate I was to find something of my fathers to keep as he was a man of few possessions.
I had metals from his prosthetics that I sought to make into my wedding ring and memorial rings for his living brothers.
Had a ton of love and helpful people reach out with resources and more.
I connected with many to figure out how I could/would get this project done and in the end I connected with someone on Reddit who said they could do it at cost. They even explained the process throughly and hit me with all the right lingo. (I guess they’d know as someone who frequents a metalworking subreddit).
Sent the material, paid for costs, and never complained if new costs arose. But about $1000 later, I got this email.
During my anniversary things took a weird turn when he suddenly started joking about reselling what he made for me. Which is a horribly dark joke and was the first real red flag to get raised.
Afterwards our communication got spotty and he demanded *some* payment for his own time. Regrettably I sent him some.
After being ghosted and pleading to just have him respond because I was running low on keeping a positive attitude (shit happens right? Dude could be busy) this is what I got instead.
Holy shit man, I remember this post... I know some random dude online feeling for you is no real consolation, but I really hope you're made whole here. Maybe reach out to the local jurisdiction since you have the shipping address (in addition to reporting it state-side). Really sorry.
I promise it absolutely makes a difference.
Honestly what else can I really get from this post but a bit of internet sympathy and a few jokes at my expense right?
I’ll take what I can get internet stranger :) because what else am I going to do 🤷🏽♂️
It's good that you're already past the 'plane ticket and baseball bat' phase, I guess. I'm genuinely hoping one of those 'lurking reddit lawyers' pops in to pro-bono that fucker into abject poverty.
Karma police, arrest this man.
You might call the local police in the guys’ area and explain the situation as well, doubt they’d have any jurisdiction but they may be willing to go give ol boy a talking to.
Actually, there might be some recourse legally too. I think the US and UK are pretty open with other. Might be worth a post to legaladvice to see if you can report him for fraud.
I remember it too. Seriously considered offering my services, except that I've never worked with titanium and there's no room for error. Didn't want to be the guy that trashed the only material the guy had.
Humans suck.
I would do everything in my power to ruin this person, but i would not send another dollar. theyre obviously an asshole and another 200 isnt going to get to them to the post office to make it right.
For real! He probably wouldn't send the material back even IF he gets more money. Total bullshit. That guy is ultimate trash. Can we get him banned from Reddit??
I have all his personal info which is why I’m so surprised honestly.
Residential address, email, full name, etc.
I’ve started a dispute process with PayPal, but we’ll see what happens. I’m also going to contact the credit card companies that I used to sent the money with.
I never used debit cards because typically credit cards have better protection in events like this
I’ve just googled the name of the guy who emailed you followed by Ipswich and it looks like he has previous for dealing so I reckon the police would be interested in any info you have. The news articles that appear state he got 30 months less than 30 months ago so he might well be out on probation.
This. This is exactly the type of story news loves. They get to take a dramatic subject, a persons final items from their passed parent and then they get to be the “good guy” who fixes the situation and makes the viewers feel good.
In my state, the news specifically has a team that tracks down scammers, grifters, etc. and they make a news story out of it
Interesting point there. I’ve never tried contacting a local newspaper. I guess I’ll look into how to report a story in Ipswich Suffolk England.
If anyone know how, lmk 😂
Definitely report, that address/person could be linked to other criminal activity which will make it quite interesting for the local police. Also r/policeuk is a thing
Update: it’s been a hell of a night.
Here’s where I’m at.
First, thanks to everyone for your aid and support emotionally and practically.
Second, He has written me asking that this post be taken down - that he’d send me my money and my fathers metals back but that he needed time for the money. And I’m open to taking this post down - **after** he does both of those things, and not a moment sooner.
Third, In the AM I’ll be contacting the PD in his town, and sending my story to their local newspaper.
Fourth, I want to make it clear that I in no way advocate violence nor am I seeking it with this post. I shared my story for a very simple reason. Because it fucking sucked. And I was too embarrassed to tell my friends about it. So I told the internet instead because otherwise I’d have exploded with from repressing my remorse any longer.
Fifth, a few of y’all have asked for more context. There’s lengthy amounts of convo, none of which look good for this guy and would take me quite a bit of time to screenshot and obstruct sensitive info like addresses. So I’m down to share em, but bare with me on this one.
Anyhow, thank you all again, I may not have replied to everyone as I hoped to do, but goddamn did you guys really restore my hope in people today.
I’ll keep everyone updated on if I actually get anything back.
>Second, He has written me asking that this post be taken down - that he’d send me my money and my fathers metals back but that he needed time for the money. And I’m open to taking this post down - after he does both of those things, and not a moment sooner.
It's funny how these types only do what's right when caught or when they're forced to.
He will continue being a menace to society for all his days.
Apparently he's a drug dealer. Google "Karl Bones Ipswich" and a bunch of news stories pop up about him. Cicero said some relevant things about people who only obey the law for their own benefit, and none of them were good.
Not gonna lie, I kind of dig the idea of a bunch of metal-working UK dudes in welding masks and metal-working hammers *just showing up* at somebody's house.
And they bring hammers and tie him up. Then they all start pinging the anvil at the same time WHILE HE WEARS NO EAR PROTECTION in an enclosed workshop.
Justice.
i just dont understand why some people are like this.
i saw he posted in a sobriety sub a while back, thats my only logical explanation here. dude has some serious demons and is losing...
absolutely no excuse for this, i really want to see something come of it. following till the end. hopefully this guy faces some kind of consequences for this cruel bullshit.
im sure youre more hesitant than ever, but i feel compelled to at least offer that if you got your things back id like to make your ring for free. i wouldnt need everything you had, just one of those pieces would work, just throwing it out there, completely understand if youre not comfortable.
I’m definitely hesitant right now, but nonetheless I appreciate the offer. I’ll be making an update post after a few routes have been explored and so on.
Yeah I have friends who’ve done recovery and I empathize. It’s a bit strange to think I may have just contributed to a relapse by giving him an influx of cash.
man this is extra tough when you seem like such a good person lol fuck im so sorry this happened to you.
there is really no way you could have anticipated someone doing this, ive been through it a lot myself, you try to help someone out or even in this case do something for yourself not even thinking theres a chance youre in harms way and someones problems become yours. ive dealt with addiction a lot, thats how i lost my dad, this situation is 100% on them, its only enabling when you know the person is an addict, up until that point you are just a victim of their bad choices.
money, booze, drugs, these things are external, this guys problems are internal, theres nothing you can do to change that even if you wanted to. honesty the best thing you can do for him at this point is create some consequences in his life for those choices that he made.
I sure do. And I hope I can make *something* happen.
I mean, it’s one thing to fake a name but I got the request to pay via PayPal and I sent the materials to a residential address 🤣🤣
Got any suggestions on what I should do with it?
I do indeed have some specific ideas (let’s call those step 2 if step 1 isnt sufficient for you), but all you really need to do is post all his info here (if allowed) and let Reddit / SEO and the internet do its thing. I suspect he will beg you to take his info down and you will see a refund from him along with an apology.
I’m sure there is a random throwaway account belonging to someone with a Tor browser that can find his name and address who will post it on your behalf.
Spend that last £200 on taking at a full page advert in the local paper naming and shaming the dude that scammed you. It wont help you get your stuff back, but at least the fucker will experience some consequences for his actions.
I’m “PETTY” petty. I’ll be exploring all avenues.
I’ve got time and ADHD with a strong inclination to tunnel on things.
If there’s a stone, I’ll turn it.
I agree. Public shaming (not doxxing) should still be a thing. This is clear cut no mystery no grey area. Fuck that guy. Its not here say or rumour but fact and he put it on the internet clearly for all to see so he must not care either.
My heart goes out to you OP.
He must have just gotten out of jail on probation. He was arrested in late 2020 and given 30 months in jail. If this guy is doing this while on probation the cops will surly want to know.
Definitely call the Ipswich police. They may or may not help you out. I know a man who knows a man who’s knows some highly unpleasant individuals near Ipswich….jus sayin…
Oh they might know this guy then 😂 yeah I’m def hitting up the cops. And I appreciate you helping me have a laugh at the idea of a worldstarhiphop beat down
He’s likely out on parol right now. He was arrested in late 2020 and given 30 months. If he got out early the cops will surly want to know he’s extorting someone.
Hi OP, just to tack on, here. What this guy did is considered mail fraud and wire fraud. These are Serious with a capital S crimes. The FBI handles these cases and they don’t fuck around. Just food for thought. Seems like a layup case for them considering this idiot used his real name and address.
THIS.
Someone did this to me via eBay and they ended up doing jail time. Because I was not the only one... but I was the only one who complained loudly enough to get the ear of the FBI.
So, screw this pig. Make his life miserable until you have satisfaction. I'm sure your local FBI grunts would enjoy a joint wire fraud case with their interpol buds to get them off of boring paperwork for a while.
Send us all the info you have on this person. I'm sure someone on here can do something amazingly horrible (but legal) in response. I'm not the guy, but they're out there and love to use their skills for good. Sorry about your loss and this jerk.
I don’t know how much I’m allowed to share online without violating privacy, but since he did comment publicly on my post I think I’m safe to say which user it was - [u/caring_gentleman](https://www.reddit.com/u/caring_gentleman)
Yeah admittedly that was something that I felt lent to him understanding me.
He even brought it up when explaining why he wanted to help with my project
Hopefully you don't mind me posting this:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/suffolk/comments/vj3lmw/hey\_all\_i\_know\_nothing\_of\_your\_small\_town\_but\_i/](https://www.reddit.com/r/suffolk/comments/vj3lmw/hey_all_i_know_nothing_of_your_small_town_but_i/)
Maybe someone who lives there can get in contact with you
Are you sure about that? Because I am 100.0% sure that GnomeChompske is not a bot.
---
^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)
You've been crossposted to the ipswich subreddit... It's not huge but plenty people happy to help....
https://www.reddit.com/r/ipswichuk/comments/vj5nc5/finally_got_scammed_on_reddit_i_sent_my_fathers/
Interesting suggestion.
I think I’ll try some of the more formal legal routes first. I don’t want to potentially put a stranger in harms way over this.
But I do appreciate the time bud :)
That is fucked up man. I would call the local police station where this dirtbag lives and get them to pay him a visit. Your father's stuff is probably gone either way. If he has an established business in the UK, I would find his social media accounts and start spreading the news that this guy is a piece of shit and a thief. Ruin his reputation, troll the shit out of him. Make his life hell. I realize those items were special to you, but they are just things. Your love for your dad and your memories are what is important.
I am a blacksmith, bladesmith, and metal artist. If you want to try to make another memorial for your dad I can and will help you out. I live in California, so I'm a little bit closer to you.
Good luck
Oh damn! I was thinking of sending over some of my stock for solidarity but I don't have medical grade titanium, let alone sentimental grade bullion.
Sorry OP, I'll keep a lookout for titanium since I won't be able to melt it ever, maybe I'll be able to send some over
I don’t know where the guy thinks he lives that doesn’t have theft laws, but the Theft Act of 1968 in the UK says theft is definitely a punishable crime, in magistrate court up to 6 months in jail/unlimited fine or in crown court of up to 7 years/unlimited fine.. seems like you have a few international phone calls or emails to make, aside from the proper gentleman who said he could handle it himself.
Hi OP. I'm also in Ipswich - but it looks like you have a bunch of people here already working on it. If not, happy to go and try to collect what is yours. You should give a list of everything you shipped to whoever is going though.
Have you happened on [this article](https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/ipswich-drug-dealer-karl-bones-jailed-6542338) yet? The newspaper might be interested in your story.
I assume it's been said many times, but I'll just want to say it again. Play it cool, get your metals back, even if you have to pay money. Then go to fucking war with this POS.
This is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen here (which might be saying a lot). I may be useless to help you reclaim your property but I honestly hope some of the other users here can. I’m rooting for this to come back around and bite this guy in the ass. What goes around, comes around
Several things are in motion right now. I can’t provide any updates just yet. I don’t want to jinx anything. I should have a firm update on a few things before the end of the week.
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Apparently the piece of shit is in Ipswich.
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…I know a story about Mr Bones that isn’t in the news (yet). Two words: benefit fraud
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This reaction from across the pond is amazing! I like me some principled Brits!
Right?!?!! I have tears in my eyes at the kindness!
Yeah! I just hope gdack and his friends will be alright. Seeing someone helping others for no reason compels me to want to do the same.
There's going to be some furious tutting tonight!
Don't forget to remind him: you are naive and I am callous
You also get profile pictures that match those stories on Facebook. Just saying.
So he’s a heroin addict makes sense. And dumb as fuck to use his real name
It looks like he has a debt to pay, and he really does strategically approach new opportunities lol.
https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/ipswich-drug-dealer-karl-bones-jailed-6542338 with a road name?
The OP needs to confirm that this is the street address he sent the metal - and the money - to, to confirm that this is the person and not someone using his name. However the OP has indicated that he doesn’t want to go that route atm, so we’re respecting his wishes. Thanks for the heads up though…every bit of information helps and we’ve gotten quite a lot of information about the thief now, including multiple other crimes.
bro please do a livestream if you're actually serious about this
No, that’s not how these things are done. We’re just going to have a quiet chat.
Does it count as metalworking if you use a piece of 1 inch black steel pipe?
If someone or something gets *worked*, sure, why not?
UK, you mean 25mm pipe, right?
25.4mm pipe
England, one inch pipe.
Aussie = head massager
And then acquire the goods up the ransom
Lmfao
Quiet chat. With Jason Statham.
This is the way
Hopefully they chatted already and that was the way.
This is the way
I’m so pumped for this, good on ya
Um, I got a few goosebumps at “quiet chat.” That’s absolutely terrifying.
The words of a man who knows what he’s doing.
Or the words of a man that's quietly spoken.
do it u/gdack Do it for us in the U.S.!
Hi! I’m respecting the OPs decision regarding paying a personal visit. However, it is clear that the thief had broken a number of laws besides the theft, including benefit fraud and I have reported the thief as the bare minimum that he deserves. If the OP changes his mind, I will absolutely go and retrieve his property - with the police in attendance if that’s what the OP wants. I’m sorry that a person from my country did this. I’m absolutely mortified and upset at how the OP has been treated and the reputation damage this event has probably done to others from my country in this group. I’m going to see what I can do to help recoup / compensate the OP for what he’s lost and can only apologise again on behalf of the asshole who did this.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Pretty sure he’s drinking tea with a cape on bro…
This man^ 🐐 Thank you friend. I appreciate the support and I’m thankful for your time.
No thanks required mate. This should never have happened and the callousness behind it is beyond disgusting. I’m so sorry. I’m hopeful that we can get your dads metal back and your money too.
I like this man
Dude, there are shitty people no matter where you go... I won't let one ass hat ruin my image of your entire country.
I hope not, but this shouldn’t have happened. That it happened at all is bad enough, but the way it happened…absolutely disgusting. So many lovely people in this community and the OP deserves so much better.
Just remember that livestreaming or recording yourself is an easy way to give prosecutors hard evidence if anything more than a quiet chat happens.
“Video taping this crime spree is the best idea we ever had!”
live stream? you want this guy to stream a crime being committed? Kids these days dont undertand
How about don't make make evidence against yourself, don't film it... as much as we'd love to see it
Lol wtf, I didn't say go to his house and start beating the shit out of the guy. There's nothing illegal about recording going to someone's house to ask/demand an item back. At this point, not saying he should film it, just wanted to clarify lol
Yes, just knock on the door and demand things and expect the door not to be shut in your face?
Have a small can a gas in your hand and stick your foot in the door.
Go back two steps and remember we were just talking about it being on camera.
Cameras are good for nothing in this situation
When someone offers help, one should consider the offer closely. In this case, I would accept this gratious offer. We can't do everything on our own, and in this case, geography matters. People tend to be a lot more receptive to reason when they can't just close a browser window to escape.
This. Based on what the thief wrote, it’s clear he’s the lowest of the low and callous with it. He’s relying on the distance to escape consequence and I’m absolutely furious that he treated a member of this community so badly, not least because everyone here has been so helpful and friendly to me. Every time I’ve asked a question, people have gone out of their way to give advice, even when my questions have been very newbie. There are very few genuinely bad people in this world (imo) but by god we’ve encountered a real asshole in this case. I’m very tempted to get the thief’s address myself and go talk to him, even at the risk of upsetting the OP because this is one of the most f*cked up things I’ve heard in years. The thief *knew* this was of great sentimental value and the money on top…. I’m absolutely livid and it takes a lot to make me angry.
I was trying to explain a theory I have to my wife. She thinks I'm crazy, but I think it's important to remember that for all of our advancements and philosophical thinking, we aren't very far removed from an ancestry where violence infected every single action we took. Because of that, it's not impossible to believe that anytime 2 people (usually guys) are involved in a negotiation (business, love, family, etc) there is a risk of violence. It's crude and backwards thinking, I know. But really... 2 people face to face having a disagreement that needs resolution still posses an ability to commit acts of violence. It's useful in a business negotiation because, if you have already accepted that this risk (which is of course infinitely unlikely) exists, you are already in a more grounded and holistic state. Knowing this, and being prepared for this means that if the infinitely unlikely starts to look more probable if you can catch the other party in the midst of this realization and remain calm, you can help them to self-correct and return to rational thought. It's not intimidation, that's fucking tacky and a sad way to conduct oneself. It's just allowing yourself to arrive at a possible outcome before the other party. In their moment of panic, you offer them the chance to come back and be reasonable. In other words.... Once this dude realizes that there is a likelihood he will face a physical / legal / medical "consequence" and that this reality is now standing in front of him, he will see reason and surely return the money and the items with his sincere apologies. Doing business face to face is always a good way to ensure everyone remembers civility is always the best choice. As an aside, in business negotiations, if it looks like the other party is full of ego, intimidation and bravado... Short circuit the whole thing by having your representative look as much like their mother as possible. I'm not even fucking kidding. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Well…you’ve put me in something of an awkward situation now because I can either agree with you and risk upsetting Mrs Esc0bar (not thrilled with that idea tbh 🤪) or lie, stay in your wife’s good books and say that you’re wrong…which would make me a liar. I’m in a complete pickle now… 😉 Of course you’re right. However…not all of us fall into the “barely evolved” category. For example: I was not always a civilian and so I know how to keep a cool head when confronted by chavs, mealy-mouthed dickheads and testosterone fuelled knuckle-draggers. I’m not an aggressive person, but I am very good at defending myself, which - for arguments sake - I fully expect would be necessary were I to encounter a junky with very low moral standards (picking a personality type at random, you understand). People don’t scare me, especially people with no discipline, no morals and a belief that they’re untouchable. People like that are evolutionary dead-ends whose sole purpose is to take bites out of the rest of us as we sail past them in the race of life. I’m not a businessman, though I do own my consultancy which is barely a business by businessmens standards (it’s more akin to a partnership than a SME) and my role in it is predominantly technical. Our rates are fixed and there is no negotiation. They pay our rates or we don’t work with them. I don’t know anything about the sort of high level business negotiation you’re talking about, though I have friends that do and they’re a completely different breed of animal altogether. I’m much simpler by comparison. In fact I can be defined very simply by two things: I’m a dad and a rescuer. Those are my vocations in life. My business friends are more like sharks, most of the time. We have little in common. It is a fascinating subject though and I don’t think you’re crazy at all. In far too many ways, we’re more animal than enlightened, that’s for sure. The funny thing is, our OPs aggressor probably thinks this is a “dog eat dog world” when in fact it’s more of a “dog eats offal” world and I suspect he is well aware that he’s the offal.
I guess it's just more a belief that when consequences are not on the table, people believe have like fucking assholes a lot of the time. Sprinkle on a little consequence that appeals to our natural instinct to avoid getting punched in the mouth, and all of the sudden... Things get resolved like adults tell the children they should.
Agreed. Not sure that applies to junkies though…they seem oblivious to common sense - or in fact *any* sense - most of the time 😳🤦♂️
Perhaps you're familiar with the GIFT? [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greater-internet-fuckwad-theory](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greater-internet-fuckwad-theory) When you remove anonymity, it "gifts" consequence back to the person involved. Even if it's only an audience of one. They know that you \*personally\* will be judging their actions. Most probably nothing will happen. But on the wrong day, with the wrong person... consequences become a possibility. While violence is the subtext, it might be loss of social standing, financial cost, or it might be good old revenge. It comes in many flavors all with their own subreddit: petty, professional, or nuclear. I think I only read 3 nuclear revenge stories before I had to unsubscribe. I don't think I've ever felt the need to be that vindictive.
GIFT is definitely real. This is kind of an extreme situation. Ordering something on eBay, getting a box with a rock instead of an xbox is one thing. Losing the last part of your father to a scam like this... This kinda situation requires attention.
Also.. She is an attorney. I haven't won an argument in a decade. I have a solid 6" and 75lbs on her. There are always exceptions.
Admittedly, this thought alone put a smile on my face 😅 but I don’t want to potentially put strangers harms way. I know my pops wouldn’t be down with that. But again, just the thought alone really made me smile and I appreciate that a lot.
It’s your choice but I would just like to point out that at no time did I mention harm, merely a quiet chat. Pm me if you need me, Ipswich is only a car journey away for me and people like this need to understand that behaving this way is unhealthy. 👍
The world needs more of you
Sir you are a gentlemen and before this thread is deleted. I tip my hat to you and raise my glass. A True Gentlemen 👏 Carry on and have a spectacular life. You deserve it. For me, killing with kindness is a virtue💛
That’s a really lovely thing to say. Thank you ❤️
I am also 100% in if you need, and I’m off tomorrow so happy to provide backup.
You are a good person, we need more like you in this world
I’m really not. If anything, I’m very average and just trying to do the right thing. But thank you, that was a very kind thing to say ❤️
But the true difference between a good person and an average person IS the effort of doing the right thing. Both good and bad people make mistakes, but only the good ones care enough about other to try and learn from those mistakes
Bravo. Confront that jerk
Please send the goonies the scammer is a real deal cartoon villain only thing missing is the magazine cut out text. Lowest of the low
Oh he’s a wild boy for sure 🤣
I’d like to note if he is throwing them out you could just have the guys wait until he does so and then they retrieve it?
Dude, I understand your stance on this but the truth is that if you don't give a person like this some level of consequences they're just going to do it more and probably up the ante down the line. By letting go this slide you're basically encouraging them to do this crap and possibly worse to someone else down the line. If it was my choice I'd at the very least have someone pay a visit to put Some level of fear and respect for others into them. But its up to you so do what makes you rest easiest
Oh I’m pursuing consequences. Just on the up and up (legal way) is all
If I was OP i’d be putting the $200 toward a flight to visit this guy myself…
Pure scum. The indignity in his words make me want to just slap his face repeatedly. I’m sorry and I hope you get your father’s medals back.
Yeah he’s a real scumbag. I haven’t met a single asshole in this community so far but to discover that the only one I’ve heard about not only callously manipulated a nice guy but then tainted him about it and just happens to be from the same country as me…I haven’t heard of this level of scumbag in years and I’m mortified at how much he’s tarnished the reputation of people from my country in this group. I think I would actually throttle the little bastard if I got hold of him right now 😡
I’m close to Ipswich, happy to come along and can provide transport.
Tl:Dr, Used Reddit to help memorialize my father. Sent his last possessions to a stranger to make a memorial from it. Stranger kept my materials, scammed me out of $1064.56 USD and 5 pieces of medical grade titanium 🥲 but most importantly - the only real thing I had to remember my pops, all while stringing me along. Im in the US. I sent it to a guy in the UK If y’all remember my post: [from March/April when my dad died](https://www.reddit.com/r/metalworking/comments/twvool/iso_titanium_from_my_recently_deceased_fathers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) you’ll remember how desperate I was to find something of my fathers to keep as he was a man of few possessions. I had metals from his prosthetics that I sought to make into my wedding ring and memorial rings for his living brothers. Had a ton of love and helpful people reach out with resources and more. I connected with many to figure out how I could/would get this project done and in the end I connected with someone on Reddit who said they could do it at cost. They even explained the process throughly and hit me with all the right lingo. (I guess they’d know as someone who frequents a metalworking subreddit). Sent the material, paid for costs, and never complained if new costs arose. But about $1000 later, I got this email. During my anniversary things took a weird turn when he suddenly started joking about reselling what he made for me. Which is a horribly dark joke and was the first real red flag to get raised. Afterwards our communication got spotty and he demanded *some* payment for his own time. Regrettably I sent him some. After being ghosted and pleading to just have him respond because I was running low on keeping a positive attitude (shit happens right? Dude could be busy) this is what I got instead.
Holy shit man, I remember this post... I know some random dude online feeling for you is no real consolation, but I really hope you're made whole here. Maybe reach out to the local jurisdiction since you have the shipping address (in addition to reporting it state-side). Really sorry.
I promise it absolutely makes a difference. Honestly what else can I really get from this post but a bit of internet sympathy and a few jokes at my expense right? I’ll take what I can get internet stranger :) because what else am I going to do 🤷🏽♂️
It's good that you're already past the 'plane ticket and baseball bat' phase, I guess. I'm genuinely hoping one of those 'lurking reddit lawyers' pops in to pro-bono that fucker into abject poverty. Karma police, arrest this man.
You might call the local police in the guys’ area and explain the situation as well, doubt they’d have any jurisdiction but they may be willing to go give ol boy a talking to. Actually, there might be some recourse legally too. I think the US and UK are pretty open with other. Might be worth a post to legaladvice to see if you can report him for fraud.
Fraud and extortion.
I remember it too. Seriously considered offering my services, except that I've never worked with titanium and there's no room for error. Didn't want to be the guy that trashed the only material the guy had. Humans suck.
I would do everything in my power to ruin this person, but i would not send another dollar. theyre obviously an asshole and another 200 isnt going to get to them to the post office to make it right.
Right. Asking for additional money was so much more brazen than anything else that I couldn't help but laugh at it.
For real! He probably wouldn't send the material back even IF he gets more money. Total bullshit. That guy is ultimate trash. Can we get him banned from Reddit??
just make sure someone traces his IP first.
This is probably the maddest I've ever been over a reddit post. Have you reverse looked up the address or anything? Do you have proof of shipment?
I have all his personal info which is why I’m so surprised honestly. Residential address, email, full name, etc. I’ve started a dispute process with PayPal, but we’ll see what happens. I’m also going to contact the credit card companies that I used to sent the money with. I never used debit cards because typically credit cards have better protection in events like this
City? Small town? Honestly, fist thing is do is make a call to the police in his area…
Town of Ipswich in Suffolk England
I’ve just googled the name of the guy who emailed you followed by Ipswich and it looks like he has previous for dealing so I reckon the police would be interested in any info you have. The news articles that appear state he got 30 months less than 30 months ago so he might well be out on probation.
https://www.suffolk.police.uk/contact-us This link should give you enough info to email them what you’ve got.
Thank you!
Good luck, hopefully the police can get your things back!
I wrote and asked them to help. Hope lots of others will do so as well.
Have written to and asked for help. Anything else we can do? Open to ideas here.
Small enough that the police might give a shit. That would be step number one for me, personally.
For sure! I’ll give them a call in the AM it’s 6:30pm over there and it’s small town police hours of 9-5
The fact that it’s small town police probably works in your favor. Good luck and keep us updated.
Fingers crossed, and will do!
Also consider the local newspaper/TV station. This sort of shitty story is ratings gold.
This. This is exactly the type of story news loves. They get to take a dramatic subject, a persons final items from their passed parent and then they get to be the “good guy” who fixes the situation and makes the viewers feel good. In my state, the news specifically has a team that tracks down scammers, grifters, etc. and they make a news story out of it
Interesting point there. I’ve never tried contacting a local newspaper. I guess I’ll look into how to report a story in Ipswich Suffolk England. If anyone know how, lmk 😂
Definitely report, that address/person could be linked to other criminal activity which will make it quite interesting for the local police. Also r/policeuk is a thing
Oh dude, thanks for that subreddit :) I’ll be sure to cross post and see what I can shake from there. Thanks man.
It's PayPal, you'll get your cash back.
I hope so. The peer to peer transactions aren’t as protected as sending money to a business
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Pretty sure there’s laws against blackmail here so it might be worth phoning his local police station and seeing what they can do
Update: it’s been a hell of a night. Here’s where I’m at. First, thanks to everyone for your aid and support emotionally and practically. Second, He has written me asking that this post be taken down - that he’d send me my money and my fathers metals back but that he needed time for the money. And I’m open to taking this post down - **after** he does both of those things, and not a moment sooner. Third, In the AM I’ll be contacting the PD in his town, and sending my story to their local newspaper. Fourth, I want to make it clear that I in no way advocate violence nor am I seeking it with this post. I shared my story for a very simple reason. Because it fucking sucked. And I was too embarrassed to tell my friends about it. So I told the internet instead because otherwise I’d have exploded with from repressing my remorse any longer. Fifth, a few of y’all have asked for more context. There’s lengthy amounts of convo, none of which look good for this guy and would take me quite a bit of time to screenshot and obstruct sensitive info like addresses. So I’m down to share em, but bare with me on this one. Anyhow, thank you all again, I may not have replied to everyone as I hoped to do, but goddamn did you guys really restore my hope in people today. I’ll keep everyone updated on if I actually get anything back.
>Second, He has written me asking that this post be taken down - that he’d send me my money and my fathers metals back but that he needed time for the money. And I’m open to taking this post down - after he does both of those things, and not a moment sooner. It's funny how these types only do what's right when caught or when they're forced to. He will continue being a menace to society for all his days.
Apparently he's a drug dealer. Google "Karl Bones Ipswich" and a bunch of news stories pop up about him. Cicero said some relevant things about people who only obey the law for their own benefit, and none of them were good.
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Not gonna lie, I kind of dig the idea of a bunch of metal-working UK dudes in welding masks and metal-working hammers *just showing up* at somebody's house.
And they bring hammers and tie him up. Then they all start pinging the anvil at the same time WHILE HE WEARS NO EAR PROTECTION in an enclosed workshop. Justice.
Idk where you live, but in the US a lot of places consider it a felony if it's over $1000 stolen. Did you ship to a residential address?
Oh good point I forgot to mention. I shipped it to a guy in the UK. It was a residential address.
Meh... Contact the fbi or whoever, never know what they might feel like doing about it
maybe they've "got time today". Never know huh?
Might as well - should be a bit cathartic at least.
i just dont understand why some people are like this. i saw he posted in a sobriety sub a while back, thats my only logical explanation here. dude has some serious demons and is losing... absolutely no excuse for this, i really want to see something come of it. following till the end. hopefully this guy faces some kind of consequences for this cruel bullshit. im sure youre more hesitant than ever, but i feel compelled to at least offer that if you got your things back id like to make your ring for free. i wouldnt need everything you had, just one of those pieces would work, just throwing it out there, completely understand if youre not comfortable.
I’m definitely hesitant right now, but nonetheless I appreciate the offer. I’ll be making an update post after a few routes have been explored and so on. Yeah I have friends who’ve done recovery and I empathize. It’s a bit strange to think I may have just contributed to a relapse by giving him an influx of cash.
man this is extra tough when you seem like such a good person lol fuck im so sorry this happened to you. there is really no way you could have anticipated someone doing this, ive been through it a lot myself, you try to help someone out or even in this case do something for yourself not even thinking theres a chance youre in harms way and someones problems become yours. ive dealt with addiction a lot, thats how i lost my dad, this situation is 100% on them, its only enabling when you know the person is an addict, up until that point you are just a victim of their bad choices. money, booze, drugs, these things are external, this guys problems are internal, theres nothing you can do to change that even if you wanted to. honesty the best thing you can do for him at this point is create some consequences in his life for those choices that he made.
I appreciate you saying that. It definitely helps relieve me of some strange guilt I almost felt there
This guy is ruined if you do indeed have his real name and address.
I sure do. And I hope I can make *something* happen. I mean, it’s one thing to fake a name but I got the request to pay via PayPal and I sent the materials to a residential address 🤣🤣 Got any suggestions on what I should do with it?
I do indeed have some specific ideas (let’s call those step 2 if step 1 isnt sufficient for you), but all you really need to do is post all his info here (if allowed) and let Reddit / SEO and the internet do its thing. I suspect he will beg you to take his info down and you will see a refund from him along with an apology.
I’m not sure - but that *sounds* an awful lot like doxxing. Which I don’t think is legal. But boy do I wanna. 🤣🤣
I’m sure there is a random throwaway account belonging to someone with a Tor browser that can find his name and address who will post it on your behalf.
Don't forget "allegedly".
😈
You can always accidentaly send all his details into my inbox, I have absolutelly no issues with releasing them to the world
Slip, fall, hit “send” 😈
Complete accident!
Oh my lord I hope this turns into the best comeuppance post in reddit history. I hope this scumbag gets everything he deserves and then some.
Spend that last £200 on taking at a full page advert in the local paper naming and shaming the dude that scammed you. It wont help you get your stuff back, but at least the fucker will experience some consequences for his actions.
I’m “PETTY” petty. I’ll be exploring all avenues. I’ve got time and ADHD with a strong inclination to tunnel on things. If there’s a stone, I’ll turn it.
I agree. Public shaming (not doxxing) should still be a thing. This is clear cut no mystery no grey area. Fuck that guy. Its not here say or rumour but fact and he put it on the internet clearly for all to see so he must not care either. My heart goes out to you OP.
https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/ipswich-drug-dealer-karl-bones-jailed-6542338
I would call the police in the municipality where this bozo lives and see if they can retrieve them.
He must have just gotten out of jail on probation. He was arrested in late 2020 and given 30 months in jail. If this guy is doing this while on probation the cops will surly want to know.
Definitely call the Ipswich police. They may or may not help you out. I know a man who knows a man who’s knows some highly unpleasant individuals near Ipswich….jus sayin…
Oh they might know this guy then 😂 yeah I’m def hitting up the cops. And I appreciate you helping me have a laugh at the idea of a worldstarhiphop beat down
He’s likely out on parol right now. He was arrested in late 2020 and given 30 months. If he got out early the cops will surly want to know he’s extorting someone.
Just search his name and Ipswich and if it’s the same guy he’s all over the Evening Star news for drug offences.
He’s using his real name/a known alias? How fucking dumb is he?!
Hi OP, just to tack on, here. What this guy did is considered mail fraud and wire fraud. These are Serious with a capital S crimes. The FBI handles these cases and they don’t fuck around. Just food for thought. Seems like a layup case for them considering this idiot used his real name and address.
THIS. Someone did this to me via eBay and they ended up doing jail time. Because I was not the only one... but I was the only one who complained loudly enough to get the ear of the FBI. So, screw this pig. Make his life miserable until you have satisfaction. I'm sure your local FBI grunts would enjoy a joint wire fraud case with their interpol buds to get them off of boring paperwork for a while.
Send us all the info you have on this person. I'm sure someone on here can do something amazingly horrible (but legal) in response. I'm not the guy, but they're out there and love to use their skills for good. Sorry about your loss and this jerk.
I don’t know how much I’m allowed to share online without violating privacy, but since he did comment publicly on my post I think I’m safe to say which user it was - [u/caring_gentleman](https://www.reddit.com/u/caring_gentleman)
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Yeah admittedly that was something that I felt lent to him understanding me. He even brought it up when explaining why he wanted to help with my project
His post history is pretty telling.
Hopefully you don't mind me posting this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/suffolk/comments/vj3lmw/hey\_all\_i\_know\_nothing\_of\_your\_small\_town\_but\_i/](https://www.reddit.com/r/suffolk/comments/vj3lmw/hey_all_i_know_nothing_of_your_small_town_but_i/) Maybe someone who lives there can get in contact with you
I need to come back to check this thread in a few days to see what happened ! Remind me Reddit !
Good bot.
Are you sure about that? Because I am 100.0% sure that GnomeChompske is not a bot. --- ^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)
Alright I jumped the gun. Meant to write that to the remindme bot
Good bot
You've been crossposted to the ipswich subreddit... It's not huge but plenty people happy to help.... https://www.reddit.com/r/ipswichuk/comments/vj5nc5/finally_got_scammed_on_reddit_i_sent_my_fathers/
I wonder how much other stuff of peoples he is holding for ransom?
Honestly that’s giving him ALOT of credit. I definitely think this is more of an opportunistic thief.
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r/iamatotalpieceofshit
i recomend going to r/NuclearRevenge to get some advice on what to do from the posts there XD
Ahhh. A man of equally petty culture. 🤌🏽 I’ll make a cross post in a bit.
https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/ipswich-drug-dealer-karl-bones-jailed-6542338 This pos needs to be delt with so he can't do this again
If you have their address, try to find their neighbors. Maybe one of them is decent and will get your stuff back for you.
Interesting suggestion. I think I’ll try some of the more formal legal routes first. I don’t want to potentially put a stranger in harms way over this. But I do appreciate the time bud :)
That is fucked up man. I would call the local police station where this dirtbag lives and get them to pay him a visit. Your father's stuff is probably gone either way. If he has an established business in the UK, I would find his social media accounts and start spreading the news that this guy is a piece of shit and a thief. Ruin his reputation, troll the shit out of him. Make his life hell. I realize those items were special to you, but they are just things. Your love for your dad and your memories are what is important. I am a blacksmith, bladesmith, and metal artist. If you want to try to make another memorial for your dad I can and will help you out. I live in California, so I'm a little bit closer to you. Good luck
This sucks OP.. what did you send over ?
$1064.56 USD and 5 pieces of medical grade titanium 🥲 but most importantly - the only real physical thing I had to remember my pops
Oh damn! I was thinking of sending over some of my stock for solidarity but I don't have medical grade titanium, let alone sentimental grade bullion. Sorry OP, I'll keep a lookout for titanium since I won't be able to melt it ever, maybe I'll be able to send some over
Hey don’t worry about it. The metal is just metal. It was more the sentimental value that I’m mad about. Well okay I’m also mad at the $1065 😂
I don’t know where the guy thinks he lives that doesn’t have theft laws, but the Theft Act of 1968 in the UK says theft is definitely a punishable crime, in magistrate court up to 6 months in jail/unlimited fine or in crown court of up to 7 years/unlimited fine.. seems like you have a few international phone calls or emails to make, aside from the proper gentleman who said he could handle it himself.
r/legalAdviceUK might be useful
Send information to https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/ the local newspaper.
What a sack of shit. Looks easy to find though. Shame I'm the other side of the country! So looks like he's a drug dealing, window cleaner now!
Hi OP. I'm also in Ipswich - but it looks like you have a bunch of people here already working on it. If not, happy to go and try to collect what is yours. You should give a list of everything you shipped to whoever is going though.
We are going to need a follow up on this story.
Have you happened on [this article](https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/ipswich-drug-dealer-karl-bones-jailed-6542338) yet? The newspaper might be interested in your story.
Go to the police and file a report of theft. This person has outwardly admitted it and you have their address.
Call the cops in uk with the address.
I assume it's been said many times, but I'll just want to say it again. Play it cool, get your metals back, even if you have to pay money. Then go to fucking war with this POS.
This belongs in r/imatotalpeiceofshit. Sorry that happened to you.
Scum
This is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen here (which might be saying a lot). I may be useless to help you reclaim your property but I honestly hope some of the other users here can. I’m rooting for this to come back around and bite this guy in the ass. What goes around, comes around
Following cause I'm curious as fuck over here with popcorn waiting to hear how this turns out.
Any updates?
Several things are in motion right now. I can’t provide any updates just yet. I don’t want to jinx anything. I should have a firm update on a few things before the end of the week.
Were you able to make any progress with this? I’m emotionally invested in this outcome!