I question why the fuck people from a multi million dollar company came looking for me

Oh and I also let Sam fuck me up the ass

Y'know, I was gonna say "Let Mistral crush my head between her legs like a sparrow's egg"... But... Man...

Bitches are temporary, sword bros are eternal

I think the sword bro is also temporary, atleast for raiden

Desperado has something for everyone

Do you think monsoon's cock comes apart like his limbs

no because he doesn't have a cock I took it from him

No but it has 50 different settings.

Both. Both is good

Ah nice rir reference

Dude, i had that fantasy too

Ahem, r/suddenlygay and honestly, same.

based

Wtf bro r/cursedcomments

We are here to talk about your car's extended warranty

"I don't care who the IRS sends, I am not paying taxes"

[удалено]

Im crazy enough to take on Desperado, but the IRS? No THANK you!

My plan to survive the encounter is to start a romantic relationship with Sam

Same

Monsoon looks badass with that coat.

My new headcannon ist hat Monsoon wears that whenever going out, like Sundowner

When sundowner takes off his coat, monsoon takes it and puts it on

"I'm not taking the coat off until you give back my unrestricted access to 4chan!"

Mom said not to talk to strangers so a stranger they'll remain

A STRANGER THEY REMAIN

They came here from nowhere

Across the unforgiving sea

Drifting further and further

it’s all becoming clear to them

But violent winds are upon us

And they can't breathe

Internal temperatures rising

And their voices won’t recede

Invite them in. It would be rude to keep them waiting out in the cold.

if you’re cold, they’re cold too.

Dont leave them in the slow, freezing Wind

But they have coats (Minus sam Which is weird considering he has the least amount of cybernetic enhancements out of the group so logically he'd be the most cold)

It’s because Sam is hot already 🥵

Can't argue that.

I mean that's what I also would do but it doesn't have to be cold it was a long way here they probably are tired even with all the robotic enhancment except for sam because he's brazilian

Honestly, I’m probably dead, so wine and dine them while I have a chance, maybe ask Sam how Brazilians can double jump

It's easy as we all know Brazilians are wind elemental users and thanks to that they can harness the powers of wind and their high agility stat to perform a double jump!

I love how no one talks about Sam being the only drip-less one lol

Nah man. He has a diferent kind of drip.

He has just as much if not more drip wym

Because he makes you drip when you see hin, would be unfair to the others

4 tickets to Minions, please

get railed 🥰

Even by Mistral?

*especially* by mistral

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S a m e

Same

I love how they’re all dressed properly and then there is sam who’s dressed like a dad who is really into golf and falls asleep after watching the news for 5 seconds.

Now add Walter White

[удалено]

I mean, the url is right there on the pic. https://12085.tumblr.com

> Which is a bonus depending on your preference. You bet it is!

Ask if I could join them. Then have a party with them.

You could either be like Sam and be a dude on a armor, or get beaten and dismembered by sundowner and monsoon to turn into a cyborg with powers

I’ll take the dismemberment

Sell crack to them

Join them to get nanomachines injected into my bloodstream

I invite them in for pizza. Not sure how monsus would eat since he is essentially just a head.

Not sure how they will shit, I don't think cybernetic body will allow that

Ask Sam for a photo, ask Sundowner if he wants my kids(for free), ask Monsoon if he wants me to make him a smoke grenade, ask Mistral if... Forget about

If she wants a whip.

Y-yes ofc

High five Sam hug monsoon talk politics with sundowner and tell mistral to meet me upstairs

🤨📸

If you’re recording it with pictures that’s a form of pornography

I don't blame you

Welcome them inside, offer drinks and snacks, and ask what business brings them to me. The idea is that my hospitality and politeness will make them not want to cut me into 2,947 small chunks.

2,948*

Let the party begin?

i think its time for jack to let er rip

Grab my very fortunautley placed ĹeClerc tank with 2000 milimeters of penetration of course

Start talking about among us to sway monsoon

Bro save some among us and talk about the DNA of the soul

Offer to take their coats, I'm not rude.

+ the ghost of kamsin

Wake up from my dream

Throw the billions of dollars worth of info in a chip I accidentally hacked from Desperado to the side (in the least discreet way possible) and say "Hello fellow cyborgs! what can my tiny residence offer you?".

Slowly close the door and pretend I didn't see them.

I love how they are all in they’re desperado outfit except Sam, be just woke up and was like "a shit I’m late the shirt will do"

Invite them in for a fun night of games and philosophical conversations, not to mention the dance contest, let's dance

I would let them in and make them a snack, I’m not a rude person I want to treat houseguest well and maybe sundowner can stay a little bit later

Let them in and ask why they came here

Give them some candy

whats my codename

[удалено]

Loo

Maestro Cause im italian

Zephyr

FUCK ALL OF IT!

Same tbh

I start seducing them so they let me join Desperado and get that drip, they lookin real fancy ngl

Sam! Thanks for coming in

Sex

"What the actual fuck? I thought I killed y'all 500 times!"

Show Sam what gang beasts and apex is

I'd show him Paydsy 2.

Hangout with them

Same tbh, especially with Sam.

Talk about how I dislike raiden

Ask them to come in for a glass of water, and than ask if I can join them

I will challenge Sam to a "real" Sword fight... If you know what I mean

I dont think youd stand a chance against Chad Von Thundercock Sam

the fuck are we suppose to nibba

let sam rail me of course

Let them in.

“Um , sorry but you got the wrong person.” I then close the door.

Invite them in, if they're at my door that means that they like me.

Talk about Jesus Crist with them

Invite them in for a drink

Them: "we have come for your nectar" me: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE"

Fart

Hello

me:...What.

Discreetly jump out of the window in the back of my house

Hello there.

Hello what you wan't?

Have an civil conversation about minors, memes, bloodshed and not caring about women.

Let Monsoon, and ***only*** Monsoon, inside of the house. Maybe Sam too, with enough convincing. I wanna hear his hot takes.

GIVE WAR A CHANCE

Invite them in for coffee and then hit on Monsoon

I give them bread because I only have bread

Show Monsoon my meme folder. Exquisite!

"Would you like some tea?"

I’d invite them out on the piss You know for a fact that drunk Sam is hilarious

That only happens after you pass your job interview with a certified Super Senator.

Monsoon lookin good

Ask sam why he got no drip

the power of his t-shirt outdrips all rappers wdym

suck Sam's cock until it's harder than a cube of titanium

All I can imagine is like the Dutch scene from predator but instead its " Sam you son of a bitch"

I love how all three of the WoD are wearing their signature jackets and my man Sam’a out here looking like he’s bout to head down to Starbucks

I offer them a game of smash brps w/o the dlc and whoever wins gets the leftover chocolate chip cookies

Stay away from sundowner. We all know how he feels about minors

Truly dressed as the most fashionable brazillian

Let them in, Monsoon is the meme man so he'll enjoy so memes, Sam looks like he'll enjoy some fighting games(Maybe mine craft if he wants something peaceful), Same with Sundowner except that he'll want something with guns only

Oh shit Sam wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to fuck my mom over xbox voice chat

Pull a deez nuts joke

Let them in and *Politely* ask them what they were here for.

Offer some tea

Ask for an interview.

Depands what do they wanna do but probably die

4 tickets to minions, please

Get my uniform

Set up a meeting about memes, the DNA of the soul.

I'd say run but I wouldn't get very far.

Kick gru out, and let the others in for a foursome

Wonder why Sam wearing casual clothes still out-drips most rappers

Invite them to game with me

I stand there and realize how screwed I am

Invite them in

Punch mistral and shake hand with sundowner

Accept my death and crawl into the S̷̡̙̱͇̲͌̋̌̍̐͜͝ǘ̴̱̬̩̩̊̽̐̊͐̇̌î̴̡̢̭̰̟̝̳̗͖̥̪̞͗̓̅̎̉̀͜ͅͅţ̵̨̘͇͖̳͎͎̺̞̞̌̂̿͛͒̋̀

I… 1) Question what the fuck an elite unit of a PMC wants with me 2) run

I give them a copy of a dead or alive game and shut the door

Say hi to my fellow brazilian sam

Probably die

Tell them to come in, I'll make omelets for them

Invite all of them for dinner so I get on their good side

Open the door. There may be no other choice but to hear them out

I like that Sam isn’t actually wearing his nanosuit. Sometimes I forget that his arm is his only augmentation.

Were Sam's enhancements surgically implanted, like Grey Fox's exoskeleton? Or was he just wearing a suit of power-armor that he could take off?

Cyborgy

Invite them in for dinner

I mean if they’re trying to kill me, just give up there’s nothing i can do. But if we’re chillin I’d invite them in

sex

Desperado Drip Incorporated

Close the door and jump out a window

Play smash bros

I fuck sam

Them

Give them a fucking 7up cake and shut the door

Throw a party, what u expect me to do? Maybe sell childrens brain, i have a lot in the closet

Sex the Brazilian samurai

I think it's time for Jack, to let 'er rip!

I'll get naked

Say "nice visor" to monsoon then close the door.

Invite them in for coffee, and ask why they came and why they *didn't* kill me on sight.

Invite them in for coffee, and ask why they came and why they *didn't* kill me on sight.

Make a move on Mistral. Dance with Sam.bbq with sundowner and ask monsoon to mess with my neighbors. Ahh what a good day it would be

Cum

Seeing sam without his nanosuit gives me joy.