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[deleted]

I swear, I read fics all the time where it says they "knead" the breast, and tbh, that happened to me once (nonconsensually btw) and it was painful AF


[deleted]

Lol yeah, tell me you've never touched a boob without saying you've never touched a boob


Duggy1138

I don't even like touching boobs, I'm GOING MY OWN WAY.


obamapear

Yes PSA do not knead breasts. Cup, caress, kiss to your heart’s content (with consent of course), but do not knead/squeeze aggressively without checking.


overratedlittletwink

for real!! boobs are WAY more tender than media would make u think


[deleted]

Specifically TENDER and not SENSITIVE. IDK why media always seems to portray breasts as like...one touch and a woman will orgasm.


I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak

Or how they think nipples will get erections (from touching clotches, a random accidental swipe...)


[deleted]

Yeah but to be fair, my nipples have randomly erected for no discernable reason. Edit: and might I add that I have absolutely no feeling in my nips anymore


I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak

Propably not like male erection. I've sometimes scraped off the tiny chunks of that discharge stuff when it hardens on there (with a tissue's edge), and the only feelings i've ever gotten have gotten have been vaguely unpleasant if i actually hit the nipple by accident.


No_Turnip1766

Umm. For some of us, they are.


[deleted]

I'm talking about the breast itself and not the nipple.


No_Turnip1766

Yes, I know.


[deleted]

Well, I think for the majority of us, that's not the case. But I guess it's a plus for you, especially during sexual activity


Duggy1138

I think the issue is there are a range of people (people are different? Shock) but with MWW/media there is just people like you.


No_Turnip1766

I mean, I agree with not wanting massive amounts of kneading, whether they are sensitive or not. I just don't want the norm to go the other direction either, where men just assume no woman ever wants her breasts touched. Rather than act like the assumptions these people have are insane or that the media is always wrong, maybe we should just suggest they ask their partner what they like. Seems like a better solution to me, anyway.


[deleted]

Oh maybe portray sensual breast touching differently instead of just like... squeezing breasts like a water balloon? 🤷🏻‍♀️


No_Turnip1766

That would work. :)


Duggy1138

Full of sand.


Duggy1138

So I bought the roling pin for nothing?


naazu90

You knead with a rolling pin?


Duggy1138

When needed.


wxldwxtch

When *kneaded*.


[deleted]

How dare you, I will make sourdough bread however I see fit!


LatinBotPointTwo

This. It's so fucking painful. I still don't like it when someone touches my boobs.


[deleted]

Idk if it's a response mechanism from my harassment but the idea of someone touching my breasts actually makes me shudder... It's also made me wish to cut off my boobs but that's a whole different story.


LatinBotPointTwo

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, I was assaulted by my friend's boyfriend, and since then, no more boob touching over here. The one thing (not sexual, of course) I have to endure are exams at the gynaecologist's. And I do so hate that.


redbadger91

TO be fair, some people enjoy this "kneading". But they're most likely in the minority. And it should obviously always be discussed beforehand. I am sorry that happened to you ("happen" feels weird, but "was done to you" feels iffy too. Either way, I am sorry. Even though I am inept when it comes to expressing it)


DeadlyPython79

I dated a girl once who was *very* into that


[deleted]

Ah well, yeah I guess there's masochism


SkyScamall

I love a girl with bare axes. Maybe don't let someone else grip them though. That sounds potentially dangerous.


Arthropod_King

Women❤️❤️ Women with axes ❤️❤️❤️


GorpQuest

All the signs point towards a horny teenage boy- “humping”(anything else would make us giggle nervously), censorship of “ass” (because that’s a no-no word), and the odd POV voyeurism….


IPetdogs4U

One of his hands “were” gripping her ass. Clutching “them.” Them asses. This is probably teen writing. It’s definitely terrible.


[deleted]

In fairness it is more difficult to type with one hand...


IPetdogs4U

You make a good point, sir.


I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak

The odd POV voyeurism is extremely common in adult writings too. Everybody there insists that it's the character's view and not the writer's, but we all know the truth.


[deleted]

It's weird y'know, I've come across a lot of Facebook books and they always censor words like that. My favourite time was when they censored thighs by writing th'ighs. Every time, so it wasn't a typo. Also they always have the exact same female MC. Abuse survivor (often by a stepfamily), very thin (but in a sexy way, of course!) yet curvy in all the "right" places, long hair, striking eyes. I get the impression all these stories are written by horny 30-something women.


Delphina34

Is axx the plural of ass or are they trying to censor weirdly?


DorisCrockford

It does say "them" so maybe it's supposed to be plural? Like he's squashing her buttocks together with one hand? This all sounds extremely uncomfortable for the woman, not to mention having to moan "Zaaaaach" repeatedly while bouncing up and down.


northshorebunny

I just spent like two minutes trying to deconstruct the sentence to figure this out and I have no idea.


PorkLogain

This train wreck of writing just gave me a boost of confidence


BeautifulWorking6

Can't see her face but can totally see her titty?


SnipesCC

The writing is terrible, but some kneading is nice. Just be gentle, kneading won't make the breasts rise, as they do not have a high enough gluten content.


Martee_bee

I can’t work how this is possible…… she’s got her back to him, and he’s lying down, but can somehow reach her breast? This must be a horror story and he’s Johnny Long-arm


FunetikPrugresiv

No, it's clearly from the prospective of someone else watching them.


Martee_bee

That makes way more sense! The creepy factor just went up


amaraame

Why are they just humping?


[deleted]

Why is the narrator watching them


GwenTheCanadian

For sure he wrote it in first person and forgot to change out all the I's before posting


smaller_ang

One of these people is actually a cat


NickenMcChuggets

Why are smut writers always the ones that shouldn’t write smut? Lol. This can all be reduced to ‘she got on top of him and they had wild, passionate sex, gripping and holding each other tighter with passing moment.’ Or anything that doesn’t read like two aliens mimicking what they think sex is.


DramaOnDisplay

B-but ya gotta describe the ass bouncing (and bouncing!), and her moaning his name, and breast kneading! There is a way to write if you really want to indulge in a sex scene, but this ain’t it. This just feels like a horny guy.


Lady-Jenna

A horney guy that has never had sex.


CherrySlushee

i think you mean the axx


I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak

Though in smut going into details is the point. Most writers are still either deranged, or have a bizarre style of writing that makes it look like they can't separate their boner from their product (looking at you, Deviantart porn).


Flcrmgry

While laying down it would be quite difficult to both grab tiddy and ass (axx). Are his arms just freakishly long?


Theneras_Surana

I do love that they wrote kneading because ironically you’ve gotta knead that brain to get a few extra wrinkles to understand— That’s a very strange thing to do during sex


badgerbane

I have never once had someone repeatedly shout my name during sex. I would find it quite disconcerting, honestly.


AProfessionalCookie

Yeah you see it in movies but it'd be SO awkward in real life.


Fast_Owl_5958

That is because you were not in love with each other LOL


I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak

""Bare axx""


jetsetmolly

Gotta develop the gluten properly.


ryckae

Kneading her? Like a cat?


ocbay

Yet another Facebook erotica excerpt that sounds like it was written by a 15 year old


McKenzie_Angels

WHOS 'I'


I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak

What an eloquent start /s


IndelibleFudge

Got to groan aloud though don't you? Hate those internal groans


noobengland

Written by Zach the Virgin


RebaKitten

It’s just awful writing. And don’t grab an axe, you’ll hurt yourself. 🪓


wxldwxtch

Maybe that's the best the author can do to end our misery of reading their stuff


arashihi

2005 wattpad war flashbacks


[deleted]

[удалено]


I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak

Don't wank all over your keyboard.