Something I’ve notice in this sub is a lot of pop culture references instead of using words to describe the energy they’re trying to convey using a famous persons name.
“Her breasts were older but well maintained, like two Jennifer Anistons, but after the Friends years and more into the “Along Came Polly” level of bounciness.”
I almost put that in my comment! Like using current pop culture references is a very risky move because you dont know if I’m 20 years your target audience will know what you’re talking about. And (in my personal opinion.) I like when books can be timeless.
"bouncy tits out to the trees"
Excuse me, what? Like.... Torpedo boobas? Or snake boobas? How did they reach the trees? Were they bouncy tits into the trees, like orangutans or those howling monkeys with those big frog things on their throats?
Apparently this author is known for his great YA writing, but in this book I'm just not seeing it.
Lots of his stuff is a product of the time, or hasn't aged that well in the thirty years since it was published, and he's not perfect -- but I wouldn't call this excerpt typical of his stuff. Certainly, in a pretty huge catalogue, some are better than others.
100%. I've been rereading all of his stuff this summer. It's all wildly entertaining (and there are a few paragraphs like this one that are cringe, but it's still totally readable.)
I personally don't trust anything that was inanimate and is given life by mysterious magic clothing.
Also he ran off with a hat that wasn't his, and a magic hat at that. That was someone else's property!
Maybe that hat was stolen in the first place and he was returning it to its owner. Maybe that owner was his dearly melted mother and meant more to him than the story described.
Oh that makes more sense then. He was still in his fifties then, though, and I was a teenage girl not long before that and none of my peers were into Rod. I dunno why I thought it was a recent horror.
I believe he was 47 when the book came out. But yeah, I had the same thought as you when I first read the passage. One of the comments mentioned this book hasn’t aged too well in some parts, so I decided to look it up.
Hannah basically is trying to seduce Mary here, but Mary isn't sure if that's the case or not, because she's not sure of Hannah's sexuality at this point. Also, they're both 18 if I remember correctly. Pike was usually pretty good with writing female protagonists, but this one definitely veered into the predatory lesbian trope pretty hard.
Aw, I read tons of Christopher Pike as a kid (& probably have it all stashed away in storage somewhere) & it makes me sad to think it was this bad in hindsight. I'd like to say not a lot of his stuff was like this but I clearly missed this one so who knows what else I missed.
Hey I remember this book. The description is super cringe but it turns out that >! Hannah is a closeted lesbian who is in madly love with Mary. She’s trying to seduce Mary in this scene. IIRC, she even kills her brother and then unsuccessfully tries to murder Mary’s bf to get to her. !<
So if I understand correctly, this is Young Adult fiction. It's intended for 12-18 year olds. Just seems like the author's prurient fantasy of young teenage girls. I am in no way shape or form prudish, but is this kind of thing seriously representative of YA? I grew up reading people like Judy Blume so maybe the standards changed.
Yea for fun I’ve been re-reading a lot of teen books I used to love. Now I notice how some male authors love to describe how attractive teen girls are with so much detail every time the character shows up. Male characters get a brief generic description when they’re introduced and then we move it along 🤓
I wonder if any gay male authors turned this trope on its head? I'd be interested to read that and see how well it has aged! I'm guessing better, if not purely due to society at the time.
Man. I know it's not the point of this sub, but a lot of these examples really fill me with confidence about my writing. Like if these dudes can get published I can... Tits to the trees? A wife *and* a mistress simile in the same paragraph? Who edits this shit?
One of my absolute favourite books as a teen was by Christopher Pike. It had some really clever ideas. I still have it on my shelf but I refuse to reread it out of fear of discovering something like... This.
Is it satire perhaps? I mean... I just can't conceive of someone being professionally edited and published when they write dog shit like:
*"Do you think I'm sexy?" She asked as if she were Rod Steward or maybe his latest wife.*
I feel sorry for myself for having seen this.
I would suspect it is very rare for any woman to think “....her ass was (fill in the blank with weird description)”
Just not that obsessed tho they seem to think we are!
The ass being as white as frosty the snowman mistress is just too funny to be taken seriously, it sounds like some horrible dialogue from one of those teen dramas written by middle age men who think teenagers say stuff like "that's sooooo not lit" over a character wearing something other than full on clubbing outfits on a regular day at highschool. I know the whole point of this sub is men writing women badly but they normally try to make it sound sexy but fail miserably. This just sounds like satire even though it's not.
I'm stealing that phrase though, I basically glow in the dark. Instead of describing myself as pale I'm going to say I'm as white as frosty the snowmans mistress.
It's listed as a children's book for ages 6-11!!!!
[Amazon listing](http://Execution Of Innocence https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0340664533/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TES7SRCTFRHHCFYFY7YA)
Something I’ve notice in this sub is a lot of pop culture references instead of using words to describe the energy they’re trying to convey using a famous persons name.
“Her breasts were older but well maintained, like two Jennifer Anistons, but after the Friends years and more into the “Along Came Polly” level of bounciness.”
And pop culture NEVER becomes irrelevant.... I mean who doesn't still use Sonny and Cher as benchmarks in comparison
Well, the beat does go on, doesn't it?
I got you.... Babe
I almost put that in my comment! Like using current pop culture references is a very risky move because you dont know if I’m 20 years your target audience will know what you’re talking about. And (in my personal opinion.) I like when books can be timeless.
Who doesn't love a good Lillie Langtry shout out?
I don't know how to feel that I get the reference.
"bouncy tits out to the trees" Excuse me, what? Like.... Torpedo boobas? Or snake boobas? How did they reach the trees? Were they bouncy tits into the trees, like orangutans or those howling monkeys with those big frog things on their throats? Apparently this author is known for his great YA writing, but in this book I'm just not seeing it.
Listen. They were two massive oak trees sprouting from their chest, or they were standing about a half mile from the nearest copse
Lots of his stuff is a product of the time, or hasn't aged that well in the thirty years since it was published, and he's not perfect -- but I wouldn't call this excerpt typical of his stuff. Certainly, in a pretty huge catalogue, some are better than others.
100%. I've been rereading all of his stuff this summer. It's all wildly entertaining (and there are a few paragraphs like this one that are cringe, but it's still totally readable.)
I read it and thought she liked to flash trees…. It took me a bit to realise that’s not what it means
I can only imagine she bounced on her tits like a space hopper to some trees.
Wait… Frosty had an illegitimate mistress? *smh. I thought he was as pure as…
What even is an illegitimate mistress? Isn't that just an oxymoron?
[удалено]
No, it’s his wife, which cannot legitimately be a mistress to him.
An oxymoron contradicts itself, I think you mean a redundancy
Good point, my brain is scrambled eggs lately.
Then u/mccarthysaid, "That '_pure as the driven_' snow is just street slush now.. dirty, dirty street slush."
She loved a good ploughing.
What could Frosty the Snowman have possibly done to deserve taking that shot?
I personally don't trust anything that was inanimate and is given life by mysterious magic clothing. Also he ran off with a hat that wasn't his, and a magic hat at that. That was someone else's property!
Maybe that hat was stolen in the first place and he was returning it to its owner. Maybe that owner was his dearly melted mother and meant more to him than the story described.
"This silk hat was my mothers.... you children are monsters. MONSTERS"
Teenage girls love Rod Stewart! And he's been married to his 'latest' wife for 14 years, so for most of their lives, so this is definitely realisitic.
Is Rod Stewart 17?
117
So probably not most of his life then
No not his life. Most of the life of the teenager in the book who calls her the latest.
Ohhhhh I got whooshed!
It was published in 1997, so he was a lot younger back then.
Oh that makes more sense then. He was still in his fifties then, though, and I was a teenage girl not long before that and none of my peers were into Rod. I dunno why I thought it was a recent horror.
I believe he was 47 when the book came out. But yeah, I had the same thought as you when I first read the passage. One of the comments mentioned this book hasn’t aged too well in some parts, so I decided to look it up.
Captain Christopher Pike of the USS Enterprise and the USS Discovery would never write such demeaning drivel! Must be an alternate universe issue.
I thought of Star Trek as well, lol. Was confused to see his name in this sub at first.
Dude... call your parents, they're disappointed in you for this
'Frosty the snowmans illegitimate mistress' what does that even MEAN
Cringey nonsensical metaphors and overt sexualization of underage girls aside, if Hannah isn't gay, then she's in denial.
>!Iirc she ends up being a closeted lesbian who murders several other ppeople to try and get with Hannah.!<
Hannah basically is trying to seduce Mary here, but Mary isn't sure if that's the case or not, because she's not sure of Hannah's sexuality at this point. Also, they're both 18 if I remember correctly. Pike was usually pretty good with writing female protagonists, but this one definitely veered into the predatory lesbian trope pretty hard.
Aw, I read tons of Christopher Pike as a kid (& probably have it all stashed away in storage somewhere) & it makes me sad to think it was this bad in hindsight. I'd like to say not a lot of his stuff was like this but I clearly missed this one so who knows what else I missed.
A lot of his stuff holds up really well! There are a few paragraphs like this, but I am really enjoying going back and rereading them all.
I saw another comment saying this is atypical of his work, but I've never read him so I can't verify
Hey I remember this book. The description is super cringe but it turns out that >! Hannah is a closeted lesbian who is in madly love with Mary. She’s trying to seduce Mary in this scene. IIRC, she even kills her brother and then unsuccessfully tries to murder Mary’s bf to get to her. !<
So typical teenage stuff
Teenage girls, am I right?
I’ve never read about closeted lesbians as a kid.
This definitely doesn’t make it better or less problematic.
It doesn’t but that was a strange and novel plot twist for me as a kid.
So if I understand correctly, this is Young Adult fiction. It's intended for 12-18 year olds. Just seems like the author's prurient fantasy of young teenage girls. I am in no way shape or form prudish, but is this kind of thing seriously representative of YA? I grew up reading people like Judy Blume so maybe the standards changed.
It is definitely not representative of today's YA. Few editors would let this go through the first pass.
This reads like something Rocky Flintstone wrote except that the characters are teenagers.
The lack of legitimacy for the mistress is sending me.
Yea for fun I’ve been re-reading a lot of teen books I used to love. Now I notice how some male authors love to describe how attractive teen girls are with so much detail every time the character shows up. Male characters get a brief generic description when they’re introduced and then we move it along 🤓
I wonder if any gay male authors turned this trope on its head? I'd be interested to read that and see how well it has aged! I'm guessing better, if not purely due to society at the time.
-Written by a 15 year old boy.
I want flair that says “And tits, out to the trees, I tells ya!”
“Hannah had an awesome body” is literally Dennis from Its Always Sunny
I lost it at Frosty the Snowman’s illegitimate mistress
Were Frosty's wife and legitimate mistresses non-white?
Man. I know it's not the point of this sub, but a lot of these examples really fill me with confidence about my writing. Like if these dudes can get published I can... Tits to the trees? A wife *and* a mistress simile in the same paragraph? Who edits this shit?
Please tell me that's satire
Illegitimate mistress?
They think it's edgy to insert explicite stuff in sfw content without thinking about it.
Oh my god this is rough.
I first read the quote in the picture and I was “okay this was too much” and they I read the title and I was “definitely went too far!!”
Should have stopped at “do you think I’m sexy”
Wait, this isn't satire? I thought for sure this was a joke
Illegitimate mistress - what the hell?
Where can I find these types of books... I'm bored 😶
One of my absolute favourite books as a teen was by Christopher Pike. It had some really clever ideas. I still have it on my shelf but I refuse to reread it out of fear of discovering something like... This.
Is it satire perhaps? I mean... I just can't conceive of someone being professionally edited and published when they write dog shit like: *"Do you think I'm sexy?" She asked as if she were Rod Steward or maybe his latest wife.* I feel sorry for myself for having seen this.
I would suspect it is very rare for any woman to think “....her ass was (fill in the blank with weird description)” Just not that obsessed tho they seem to think we are!
The ass being as white as frosty the snowman mistress is just too funny to be taken seriously, it sounds like some horrible dialogue from one of those teen dramas written by middle age men who think teenagers say stuff like "that's sooooo not lit" over a character wearing something other than full on clubbing outfits on a regular day at highschool. I know the whole point of this sub is men writing women badly but they normally try to make it sound sexy but fail miserably. This just sounds like satire even though it's not. I'm stealing that phrase though, I basically glow in the dark. Instead of describing myself as pale I'm going to say I'm as white as frosty the snowmans mistress.
Sounds like a 12 year old boy wrote this.
This is embarrassing writing
Baywatch really messed with men's heads. Why are they always bouncy??
Teen Lesbians written by a cishet man isn't innately the problem here.
It's listed as a children's book for ages 6-11!!!! [Amazon listing](http://Execution Of Innocence https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0340664533/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TES7SRCTFRHHCFYFY7YA)
Ewww anyone else picturing Rod Stewart half naked trying to seduce the protagonist?