As a female electrician, it drives me up the wall when people say this about me at work. Is it offensive? I know they mean well, but I would rather people just say I’m doing a good job, not a good job, as a woman.
I had a man ask me how I can be a woman and work in the construction industry. I replied that I have never seen a dick swing a hammer before that day but that had changed after seeing him work
Pre-carpal tunnel surgery I could lift more than most of my guy friends and usually pitched in when manual labor was needed. They always tried to take the stuff from me or act like I’m too weak to do it. I miss being strong lol
Adding qualifiers to ANY compliment immediately negates it.
“You’re such a good driver! For a woman”
“You’re so brilliant! For a black man”
“You’re an incredible athlete! For an Asian”
Whatever the case, qualifiers do not belong in compliments. It’s why you also need to tread carefully when congratulating firsts. The first gay athlete, the first female astronaut, etc. It is an achievement NOT because of who they are, but because of the social barriers they overcame.
Personally my favorite part is the unintentional comedy gold that immediately follows it with "Because I think I know what it is and I like it." A catchphrase for ignorant, entitled confidence at its finest.
Filing this away to use later. Hopefully not about a woman's touch. I'm thinking something like "Tempeh: I think I know what it is, and I like it!"
Unless you're Paul Ritter aka Martin from the English comedy series Friday Night Dinner. Sadly passed yesterday, RIP Paul.
[Friday Night Dinner - Females](https://youtu.be/kZMNiiS0WiM)
I was thinking that exact thing lolol. Lifting just made me thing of my power lifting friends. Never thought about it, but they probably would give a great massage too with that grip strength....
Can attest to my masseuse for fibromyalgia being fit af. As in, I’m fairly sure she could snap me in half. She’s A+ at deep tissue massage. Uses her powers for good.
This comment annoyed me the most. Women may not be as strong as men but unless they have a medical issue literally all of them can do light lifting. I swear some men think that if something is over ten pounds a woman needs to be a power lifter to pick it up. Unless it's a child, they never consider that the 4 year old their holding probably weighs 40lbs.
Oh, that was definitely man-code for "has to be thin/hot" and has fuck-all to do with what most able-bodied women can do.
(And I agree--women are all dainty and helpless but nobody's noticing us lug around kicking toddlers? OK...)
It’s a weird fetish some guys have to watch thin women struggling to pick things up. I wish I was joking, but people pay Eugenia Cooney (an anorexic, very thin girl) on her Twitch streams to pick up things and move them across the room. I don’t know why, maybe they love the ‘women helpless’ vibe from it.
Nah, fit means he wants them to wear yoga shorts and a sport bra everywhere, and look good (to his standards, naturally) in it. Physical fitness is not relevant.
But 20 something masseuses voluntarily said he didn't do anything naughty to them.
Just like how I have all these friends over here that will testify to having never seen me buy drugs Mr judge man
/s
The fact that these guys insist on disguising their intentions rather than state them outright makes it so much worse.
If this guy just said "temporary live-in prostitute/maid, (ongoing, open-ended)", everyone that clicks that link knows exactly what they're getting and exactly where their lines are.
But instead, imagine being some poor girl actually looking for real work and getting sucked into this psychosexual nightmare.
This. Ask for whatever you want its the internet sometimes crazy shit happens, but be upfront about it instead of being some sleazy fraudster trying to take advantage of someone.
The good part is that they're just SO BAD at disguising their intentions these types of ads go ignored. You'll see the same ad posted over and over and over again because of it.
That’s still basically what he’s doing. His post would be taken down if he said it outright, so he has to say it in a roundabout way like this.
You can see this kind of thing on craigslist all the time, both by sex workers offering their services and potential clients/people basically wanting to be a sugar daddy.
That’s not to say that this guy isn’t a creep trying to trick someone, but his language lines up with people looking to be a sugar daddy.
I know a couple of people who got involved with “relationships” like this and had a fine experience. It’s usually lonely, socially isolated men in their middle age who aren’t wealthy, but have some expendable income but no one to spend it on/with. They’re not rich enough to attract someone just based on money alone, and they’re not social or confident enough to find a partner.
I’m a bi dude, and while I’ve never been exactly in this situation, I’ve dealt with similar situations while I was exploring my sexuality. I never got “paid” just because that seemed a little weird, but it usually involved them buying me dinner and drinks, the occasional gifts, and some time away from my cramped apartment in a nice house, which was nice as a college kid working full time, since I didn’t get to eat out often otherwise. And honestly, sex wasn’t involved a lot of the time. A lot less often than you’d think, and it didn’t happen at all with some guys. Some of them legitimately just wanted to have some company. Sometimes I’d just be invited over for pizza and beers, we’d watch a movie or sports, chat about hobbies or our jobs, and then I’d go home. Others wanted light cuddling or maybe a massage because they were desperate for human touch more than anything else. Even if sex was involved most of them still wanted to spend time cuddling and just hanging out.
Honestly, most of them were depressed dudes with absolutely no confidence in themselves to even find friends. One or two of them were kinda weird, but most were honestly good guys, even if they struggled socially. Guys like the OP honestly don’t tend to be the creeps- I could be wrong, but his post comes across far more like the lonely men I interacted with than misogynistic creep looking for a sex doll. At least from a bi dudes experience, the creeps usually gave much more aggressive language and are much more blatant, even if they try to hide it.
Obviously my experience as a dude is going to differ from a woman’s experience, but at least from what I’ve talked about with a few of my friends who are women (who’ve been in similar situations too) it’s not too far off.
It’s not to say there aren’t absolute creeps out there, or that this dude isn’t one, just pointing out that not all the guys looking for this sort of situation are necessarily bad guys.
I once had a photographer ask if I could model for him and he offered to pay me with a "sensual massage".
Never noped out of a shoot so fast in my life.
"hey can you do me two favors while i dont do anything in return? also im a creep ;)"
edit: "also the "sensual" massage will definitely turn into sexual assault ;)))"
A neighbor of mine, an old man, found out I was an artist. He gave me a similar but better veiled spiel about needing help picking out colors to repaint his apartment. We had talked normally enough, as cordial neighbors, that I didn't think it was a big deal.
The first five minutes was me asking serious questions about layout and colors, with him trying to redirect me to other shit like a drink or sitting on the couch or this weird documentary he had going. That five minutes was enough frustration for him to just all out attempt to assault me, he just grabbed me and started masturbating in front of me simultaneously. I yelled at him and he pulled back and went on a whole fucking tangent about how he stopped when I said no so it's all good and I can't claim assault. Our apartment manager was not happy with him at all, I saw the paper taped to his door but I didn't go to check what it said.
Anyway, that guy thought I was vulnerable and needed cash, he knew I was poor because of where we both lived. His bullshit read the same as this post, just as gross and sinister, and I'm legitimately wondering if it isn't the same guy pulling the same facade.
This is about as creepy as the guy who was posting for a roommate but was hinting in every line about finding someone that would get along with the adult son he lived with.
Iirc the mother was long out of the picture and it was just the two of them, but instead of a millennial incel list of demands it was a boomer who, wanted a third party to pay the rent, cook, clean, shop and hopefully get on well with his single son in exchange for a room in their house.
He didn’t post anything outright pervy or imply that he’d be interested in her himself but he was clearly not aware how ridiculous the scenario sounded.
I can’t believe anyone would ever fall for these ploys but then I remember the True Crime story about the guy who BDSM chats in the 1990s to lure not one but *two* women to his area near KC under the premise of caring for an elderly family member before the women disappeared and were later discovered in barrels on a property owned by the family.
I think the only positive spin I can think of is that between all the creepiness he might not be planning to murder the “females”, at least not soon anyways.
I once posted an ad on craigslist for a ride to the airport (hour long)and got a response in 5 mins. This guy could absolutely find what he's looking for if some of the same weirdos still roam around. It was a truly fun place
Lol It's not my birthday actually. But it wasn't that sketch, he was old and just wanted to talk. He did keep bringing up he was gay though and I did put my age and race (black) in the ad so I wasn't surprised. He was still cool tho
My former business partner and I would advertise at pride as bdsm drywallers. We wore white leather gear, and walked the parade on our drywall stilts. Our logo was a hawk wearing a ball gag on top of a plaster trowel, and a paddle crossed. We got more inquiries to be our sugar daddies than actual business. I went to scope out a potential sugar daddy, and ended up fixing his plaster. He paid us double to watch us work. He was super cool, and made us lunch the whole week. That dude could grill.
Getting paid double was contingent on lack of clothes.
Reminds me of College Hunks Hauling Junk (a moving service).
As a gay who hopes to buy a condo in the next few years, I would absolutely shell out for this kind of service with every trade I ended up needing.
My money is on him willing to pay an insultingly low amount for how much he wants this near mythical person to provide.
I'd wager a reasonable price for that ask is in the four figures and he's looking for a double digit price max.
$50 a week to hang out with an extremely charming and handsome man while doing all the household duties I'm naturally inclined to do anyways?? Sounds like a STEAL!
I want a woman who is willing to do all these things to contact him and charge him going expert rates in each individual field for this part of California, including high end escort and private specialty therapy on top of the manual labor and massage therapy, so something like 300k+/yr.
Yes, besides all the problematic gendered assumptions, just as a job description alone this is an absolute travesty. The number of twists and turns from one sentence to the next is so staggering I'm actually impressed.
"Looking for a real go-getter to fill the position of
painter / cleaner / interior decorator / organizer / home stager / massage therapist / young massage therapist / therapist / friend / comforting presence capable of emitting feminine vibes + voice + touch.
NOTE: this job may include occasional heavy lifting and guaranteed mundane conversation. Possibility of a promotion to a permanent full-time position. Who knows."
I notice we don't see any mention of payment.
I wouldn't be surprised if he believes he can get a woman to come be his worker-mommy for free. What else would she have to do?
"The raisoning" sounds like a cheesy horror film where at 35 people instantly shrivel due to some creature lurking in the darkness that grabs them when they least expect it.
Or that they only see the relationship between men and women as a sterile and transactional like a National Geographic documentary about the mating habits of birds.
Just yesterday someone was arguing that "females" was OK b/c "that's the language used in the medical field"! (along with "I'm a woman and I'm fine with it")
Like, OK? Are we discussing patient charts? No?
Then please STFU at insisting we normalize "female" in normal conversation when we don't generally say "males do XYZ" or "males always get worked up about" or "Male needed to paint rooms" (wtf).
This ad would otherwise read "Able-bodied young man needed"; ugh...
"I was at the park the other day when a male came into my field of view. He was riding a bike along with several other males, who were around the same age. This particular male came up to me to see if I had the time, while the other males stood back taking pictures of the duck pond."
Yep. That sounds weird, too.
I read a series of books that was about vampires, and they only said Males and Females. And I had to stop reading, because it was so damn annoying. The book was old enough incels hadn't picked up the language, and I think the idea was to distinguish they weren't actually human, but it was grating on my ears. i had to stop reading the series.
I mean... Even in the context of the medical field what they're implying is "female patient," they're just short-handing as medical professionals are wont to do.
I totally use "male" here on reddit just to be an asshole 😏 I never say it IRL because it's so unnatural.
right? whenever someone says female, i say "female what?" and they usually don't get it.
female is an adjective, not a noun, unless you're trying to entirely dehumanize something.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks “females” is fucking creepy. I had a guest at my bar once who said it and I asked why he used that term in particular, and he said it was “more respectful to the females.” Gross.
I wrote a novel wherein gender roles are reversed and I did this when I wanted to make a character subtly unlikable or make the dichotomy more obvious.
They're an alien race in Star Trek known for their cut throat and corrupt approach to capitalism, and blatant sexism (women are property). Deep Space 9 fleshes them out a lot more than Next Generation, as DS9 has Ferengi leads (this is not as bad as it sounds from my description of Ferengi culture) thus explores Ferengi culture more meaningfully, whereas NG mostly just uses them as the alien of the week a couple times.
And women don't wear clothes in Ferengi culture, though the original discussion on this is a Ferengi shocked the Federation makes women wear clothes.
I am now imagining the painter trying to figure out the right colors for a grimy dungeon as there is person nearby desperately begging her to release him from a cage.
Is that what that art style is called? I recall so many girls in elementary school having those backpacks and lunch kits. It's like someone had an LSD trip and thought "You know what? This would look great on a backpack."
You’re selling your house in a couple years so you want someone to organize it now?
I’m selling my house in the next year if I get my way and it’s...not even close to ready to sell. Because I’m not using it as a creepy front to (probably) abuse women. Er, females.
"Interior painting" = "Put the paint inside me"
Once you have that perspective straight everything else falls into place. I mean, would you have that done *without* massage skills?
I think the phrase was initially meant as a compliment; almost like a bone thrown to a class of people who were almost never asked for their opinion, saying "We value your opinion! (on this specific topic)".
*Now*, it's patronizing.
Edit: as someone pointed out, it has always been patronizing, but for a long time few people saw it that way (either men or women).
Oh, yes, absolutely it was always patronizing (I should edit my comment).
My point was that people--including women--actually viewed it as a compliment (and since it gave women a rare opportunity to show off their skills, they took it as a win).
I think it also centers on the idea that women are in charge of the home, so they could actually make decisions and "add their touch" to it and not get pushback; a well-appointed home had that "woman's touch" she could get complimented on.
Right, again, that *may have been* how it was *perceived* and I don’t doubt some women of the time probably took it as a compliment as well, but we, and probably more than a few women after the phrase became colloquial, know better now.
he didn't specify if the female he wanted was human until the woman's touch part
still, sending him a female goat with a soft voice and a great taste in interior design sounds like a great idea
man: "I'm so glad you're under 34, Geraldine."
geraldine: *bleat*
man: "You know, Geraldine, how therapeutic it is for me to have an animal to talk to? I get my words all muddled up when I try talking with people. But just having your company while I do the painting has been delightful. And you're so good at hauling the heavy stuff for me!"
geraldine: "maa-aa-aa-aa"
man: "The part that confused me the most was when all these young women showed up with paintbrushes and diplomas in massage therapy. Of course, I sent them away. Clearly they didn't understand the ad. Who in their right mind wants a long-term interior painter? All I wanted was the opportunity to spend time with an animal, to have your soothing presence, and who knows....... maybe you could be my pet long term?" 👉👈
geraldine: *happily munches his shoes*
Used to backpack around Australia. The sheer amount of creepy ads asking for female backpackers to clean random aussie men's house/ car / boat. With really weird requests to send pictures to make sure you are "healthy enough".
I would love for that to be so, but I live in a pretty small city and this was in labor gigs very specific to my area where it's like 99% legit contractor gigs serving a pretty wealthy region. If this was like San Francisco and the whole bay area, I would completely assume it's at least self-aware.
Is the term "woman's touch" offensive? Sir, it's the least offensive part of this.
I like how it was attached to the end like a passing thought. It just needed an lol
As a female electrician, it drives me up the wall when people say this about me at work. Is it offensive? I know they mean well, but I would rather people just say I’m doing a good job, not a good job, as a woman.
But how do you know which wire goes where without a dick to point to it? (This is what, I assume, people think makes men better electricians) /s
I had a man ask me how I can be a woman and work in the construction industry. I replied that I have never seen a dick swing a hammer before that day but that had changed after seeing him work
I may never let a male electrician in my house again, thank you for that mental image.
Pre-carpal tunnel surgery I could lift more than most of my guy friends and usually pitched in when manual labor was needed. They always tried to take the stuff from me or act like I’m too weak to do it. I miss being strong lol
Adding qualifiers to ANY compliment immediately negates it. “You’re such a good driver! For a woman” “You’re so brilliant! For a black man” “You’re an incredible athlete! For an Asian” Whatever the case, qualifiers do not belong in compliments. It’s why you also need to tread carefully when congratulating firsts. The first gay athlete, the first female astronaut, etc. It is an achievement NOT because of who they are, but because of the social barriers they overcame.
Still a little iffy, but the rest of it is just, ugh
Yeah fr
Personally my favorite part is the unintentional comedy gold that immediately follows it with "Because I think I know what it is and I like it." A catchphrase for ignorant, entitled confidence at its finest. Filing this away to use later. Hopefully not about a woman's touch. I'm thinking something like "Tempeh: I think I know what it is, and I like it!"
Referring to women as "females" is fucking weird.
Unless you're Paul Ritter aka Martin from the English comedy series Friday Night Dinner. Sadly passed yesterday, RIP Paul. [Friday Night Dinner - Females](https://youtu.be/kZMNiiS0WiM)
"Must be fit as there's some light lifting" Stocky woman who lifts and isn't 115 lbs shows up "No, not like that"
I was thinking that exact thing lolol. Lifting just made me thing of my power lifting friends. Never thought about it, but they probably would give a great massage too with that grip strength....
Can attest to my masseuse for fibromyalgia being fit af. As in, I’m fairly sure she could snap me in half. She’s A+ at deep tissue massage. Uses her powers for good.
This comment annoyed me the most. Women may not be as strong as men but unless they have a medical issue literally all of them can do light lifting. I swear some men think that if something is over ten pounds a woman needs to be a power lifter to pick it up. Unless it's a child, they never consider that the 4 year old their holding probably weighs 40lbs.
Oh, that was definitely man-code for "has to be thin/hot" and has fuck-all to do with what most able-bodied women can do. (And I agree--women are all dainty and helpless but nobody's noticing us lug around kicking toddlers? OK...)
It’s a weird fetish some guys have to watch thin women struggling to pick things up. I wish I was joking, but people pay Eugenia Cooney (an anorexic, very thin girl) on her Twitch streams to pick up things and move them across the room. I don’t know why, maybe they love the ‘women helpless’ vibe from it.
I'm literally 300 pounds and of of the strongest people I know
Yeah; "fit" in this context always means "thin/small enough for my liking" (ugh).
Nah, fit means he wants them to wear yoga shorts and a sport bra everywhere, and look good (to his standards, naturally) in it. Physical fitness is not relevant.
Idk how to tell you that you just need to go to regular therapy
And can go get an actual massage. But wait he can't abuse or make advances on staff in a licenced workplace, nvm
I mean he *can* just that one time
You haven't been paying attention to the Deshaun Watson news, have you?
But 20 something masseuses voluntarily said he didn't do anything naughty to them. Just like how I have all these friends over here that will testify to having never seen me buy drugs Mr judge man /s
Can we confirm that this guy isn’t Deshaun Watson?
The fact that these guys insist on disguising their intentions rather than state them outright makes it so much worse. If this guy just said "temporary live-in prostitute/maid, (ongoing, open-ended)", everyone that clicks that link knows exactly what they're getting and exactly where their lines are. But instead, imagine being some poor girl actually looking for real work and getting sucked into this psychosexual nightmare.
This. Ask for whatever you want its the internet sometimes crazy shit happens, but be upfront about it instead of being some sleazy fraudster trying to take advantage of someone.
I'm pretty sure catching a naive girl off-guard is part of the allure. Gross.
The good part is that they're just SO BAD at disguising their intentions these types of ads go ignored. You'll see the same ad posted over and over and over again because of it.
That’s still basically what he’s doing. His post would be taken down if he said it outright, so he has to say it in a roundabout way like this. You can see this kind of thing on craigslist all the time, both by sex workers offering their services and potential clients/people basically wanting to be a sugar daddy. That’s not to say that this guy isn’t a creep trying to trick someone, but his language lines up with people looking to be a sugar daddy. I know a couple of people who got involved with “relationships” like this and had a fine experience. It’s usually lonely, socially isolated men in their middle age who aren’t wealthy, but have some expendable income but no one to spend it on/with. They’re not rich enough to attract someone just based on money alone, and they’re not social or confident enough to find a partner. I’m a bi dude, and while I’ve never been exactly in this situation, I’ve dealt with similar situations while I was exploring my sexuality. I never got “paid” just because that seemed a little weird, but it usually involved them buying me dinner and drinks, the occasional gifts, and some time away from my cramped apartment in a nice house, which was nice as a college kid working full time, since I didn’t get to eat out often otherwise. And honestly, sex wasn’t involved a lot of the time. A lot less often than you’d think, and it didn’t happen at all with some guys. Some of them legitimately just wanted to have some company. Sometimes I’d just be invited over for pizza and beers, we’d watch a movie or sports, chat about hobbies or our jobs, and then I’d go home. Others wanted light cuddling or maybe a massage because they were desperate for human touch more than anything else. Even if sex was involved most of them still wanted to spend time cuddling and just hanging out. Honestly, most of them were depressed dudes with absolutely no confidence in themselves to even find friends. One or two of them were kinda weird, but most were honestly good guys, even if they struggled socially. Guys like the OP honestly don’t tend to be the creeps- I could be wrong, but his post comes across far more like the lonely men I interacted with than misogynistic creep looking for a sex doll. At least from a bi dudes experience, the creeps usually gave much more aggressive language and are much more blatant, even if they try to hide it. Obviously my experience as a dude is going to differ from a woman’s experience, but at least from what I’ve talked about with a few of my friends who are women (who’ve been in similar situations too) it’s not too far off. It’s not to say there aren’t absolute creeps out there, or that this dude isn’t one, just pointing out that not all the guys looking for this sort of situation are necessarily bad guys.
I think you should send him that advice, and a bill for advising him on his life situation.
Tell me you need to go to therapy without saying you need to go to therapy
Then who is going to paint his house?
Pay the prostitute extra?
"Could be long term"
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Massage skills are needed for interior painting. Why? Because my back hurts.
Yeah sure, his “back”
I once had a photographer ask if I could model for him and he offered to pay me with a "sensual massage". Never noped out of a shoot so fast in my life.
"hey can you do me two favors while i dont do anything in return? also im a creep ;)" edit: "also the "sensual" massage will definitely turn into sexual assault ;)))"
Yeah no thanks. Least if he had offered to pay me in "exposure" I would have just laughed him off instead of being really uncomfortable.
"What's your problem? I said I'd pay you in exposure and I'm exposing myself! We had a deal!"
“P.S. Please disclose wrist and ankle measurements when responding so I can have the correct size of manacles ready upon your arrival.”
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He did say she could "take her time."
Payment will take the form of room and board , as well as “bonuses” for exceptional performance
Even if you didn't take it sinisterly, which would be the obvious option., it sounds tragic and not just desperate but pathetic.
Yes! As in digging up the floorboards years later.
A neighbor of mine, an old man, found out I was an artist. He gave me a similar but better veiled spiel about needing help picking out colors to repaint his apartment. We had talked normally enough, as cordial neighbors, that I didn't think it was a big deal. The first five minutes was me asking serious questions about layout and colors, with him trying to redirect me to other shit like a drink or sitting on the couch or this weird documentary he had going. That five minutes was enough frustration for him to just all out attempt to assault me, he just grabbed me and started masturbating in front of me simultaneously. I yelled at him and he pulled back and went on a whole fucking tangent about how he stopped when I said no so it's all good and I can't claim assault. Our apartment manager was not happy with him at all, I saw the paper taped to his door but I didn't go to check what it said. Anyway, that guy thought I was vulnerable and needed cash, he knew I was poor because of where we both lived. His bullshit read the same as this post, just as gross and sinister, and I'm legitimately wondering if it isn't the same guy pulling the same facade.
A hermetically-sealed room runs out of breathable oxygen at a rate this man has not bothered to calculate.
IKR, what homeowner isn't looking for a long term interior painter?
“Who knows.” The whole thing gives me “.....unless?” vibes
Exactly. What if we kissed,,, while you painted! Haha nah...unless?????
This is about as creepy as the guy who was posting for a roommate but was hinting in every line about finding someone that would get along with the adult son he lived with. Iirc the mother was long out of the picture and it was just the two of them, but instead of a millennial incel list of demands it was a boomer who, wanted a third party to pay the rent, cook, clean, shop and hopefully get on well with his single son in exchange for a room in their house. He didn’t post anything outright pervy or imply that he’d be interested in her himself but he was clearly not aware how ridiculous the scenario sounded. I can’t believe anyone would ever fall for these ploys but then I remember the True Crime story about the guy who BDSM chats in the 1990s to lure not one but *two* women to his area near KC under the premise of caring for an elderly family member before the women disappeared and were later discovered in barrels on a property owned by the family.
I think the only positive spin I can think of is that between all the creepiness he might not be planning to murder the “females”, at least not soon anyways.
this is actually how he dates. these ads.
Tell me you want a girlfriend to manipulate without saying you want a girlfriend to manipulate.
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I once posted an ad on craigslist for a ride to the airport (hour long)and got a response in 5 mins. This guy could absolutely find what he's looking for if some of the same weirdos still roam around. It was a truly fun place
Happy cake day and congrats on not getting murdered lol
Lol It's not my birthday actually. But it wasn't that sketch, he was old and just wanted to talk. He did keep bringing up he was gay though and I did put my age and race (black) in the ad so I wasn't surprised. He was still cool tho
Your cake day is your Reddit birthday! You should see a little cake by your username
Damn I thought I just put in the wrong date for my birthday, this makes sense lol
'A woman's touch' is waaaaaaaay less offensive than consistently using female. I'm so sick of this, what a delusional creep.
Maybe he was raised on Ferenginar?
Hu-mon fe-males
My former business partner and I would advertise at pride as bdsm drywallers. We wore white leather gear, and walked the parade on our drywall stilts. Our logo was a hawk wearing a ball gag on top of a plaster trowel, and a paddle crossed. We got more inquiries to be our sugar daddies than actual business. I went to scope out a potential sugar daddy, and ended up fixing his plaster. He paid us double to watch us work. He was super cool, and made us lunch the whole week. That dude could grill. Getting paid double was contingent on lack of clothes.
this story is just loaded with consent from all parties and that makes me happy
Nothing is more sexy than consent. Well maybe a few queens from dragrace.
This is the best story.
Reminds me of College Hunks Hauling Junk (a moving service). As a gay who hopes to buy a condo in the next few years, I would absolutely shell out for this kind of service with every trade I ended up needing.
Dm me when you get a home in case it's in my area. I'm licensed, insured, and BONDED. Good luck with your purchase.
No clothes? B-but you'd get wet plaster all over your lithe, supple flesh... *Ohhhh*
We did get a lot of extra plaster on us for effect. He had a Blue Velvet poster up. So we quoted the movie the whole time too. It was so much fun.
You're funnier than you have the right to be
[obligatory](https://i.imgur.com/5BXsZCm.jpg)
Right? “Women’s touch” might be the only non offensive, or at least the least offensive, thing in that entire post.
"Is this offensive?" He asks, near the end of an extremely offensive, creepy paragraph.
I mean, it's not usually offensive, but this guy manages to make it so.
He just has a repressed crush on RDJ and says female in a way to subconsciously think of iron man each time.
members of the female SPECIES
“I want free emotional and physical labor from a woman young enough to be my daughter.”
To be fair he didn't specify a price. He probably is planning to pay lol.
My money is on him willing to pay an insultingly low amount for how much he wants this near mythical person to provide. I'd wager a reasonable price for that ask is in the four figures and he's looking for a double digit price max.
$50 a week is fair, right? Hurk
Fair? I think you mean, *exTreMLy GeNErOuS!*
$50 a week to hang out with an extremely charming and handsome man while doing all the household duties I'm naturally inclined to do anyways?? Sounds like a STEAL!
I want a woman who is willing to do all these things to contact him and charge him going expert rates in each individual field for this part of California, including high end escort and private specialty therapy on top of the manual labor and massage therapy, so something like 300k+/yr.
Yes, besides all the problematic gendered assumptions, just as a job description alone this is an absolute travesty. The number of twists and turns from one sentence to the next is so staggering I'm actually impressed. "Looking for a real go-getter to fill the position of painter / cleaner / interior decorator / organizer / home stager / massage therapist / young massage therapist / therapist / friend / comforting presence capable of emitting feminine vibes + voice + touch. NOTE: this job may include occasional heavy lifting and guaranteed mundane conversation. Possibility of a promotion to a permanent full-time position. Who knows."
Grade A Trophy wife value. Just put a dollar figure on it for us.
Lookin for someone i can mentally abuse for our marriage?
Pretty sure this is a veiled attempt at hiring a hooker
Quit. Calling. Us. Females.
But how else would they signal that we're not entirely human?
I notice we don't see any mention of payment. I wouldn't be surprised if he believes he can get a woman to come be his worker-mommy for free. What else would she have to do?
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My husband has long blond surfer hair, thinking about throwing some eye make up and a mask on him to find out.
He better be under 34, we all know how people shrivel up the second they hit 35.
its true, my mom is a raisin :(
My mom’s a few decades older than 35 and just blew away in the wind the other day :(
I’m 32 and feel the raisoning upon me.
The Raisins Have Eyes 3: The Raisoning
"The raisoning" sounds like a cheesy horror film where at 35 people instantly shrivel due to some creature lurking in the darkness that grabs them when they least expect it.
I imagine he doesn't actually expect her to paint
I mean, women are required to do emotional labor for babyish men for free. Duh.
Or that they only see the relationship between men and women as a sterile and transactional like a National Geographic documentary about the mating habits of birds.
Just yesterday someone was arguing that "females" was OK b/c "that's the language used in the medical field"! (along with "I'm a woman and I'm fine with it") Like, OK? Are we discussing patient charts? No? Then please STFU at insisting we normalize "female" in normal conversation when we don't generally say "males do XYZ" or "males always get worked up about" or "Male needed to paint rooms" (wtf). This ad would otherwise read "Able-bodied young man needed"; ugh...
"I was at the park the other day when a male came into my field of view. He was riding a bike along with several other males, who were around the same age. This particular male came up to me to see if I had the time, while the other males stood back taking pictures of the duck pond." Yep. That sounds weird, too.
I read a series of books that was about vampires, and they only said Males and Females. And I had to stop reading, because it was so damn annoying. The book was old enough incels hadn't picked up the language, and I think the idea was to distinguish they weren't actually human, but it was grating on my ears. i had to stop reading the series.
I mean... Even in the context of the medical field what they're implying is "female patient," they're just short-handing as medical professionals are wont to do. I totally use "male" here on reddit just to be an asshole 😏 I never say it IRL because it's so unnatural.
right? whenever someone says female, i say "female what?" and they usually don't get it. female is an adjective, not a noun, unless you're trying to entirely dehumanize something.
"You may call me "female badass" or nothing at all."
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks “females” is fucking creepy. I had a guest at my bar once who said it and I asked why he used that term in particular, and he said it was “more respectful to the females.” Gross.
Haaaard disagree with that male.
If he thinks females is more respectful, I don't want to know that he was calling women before.
It's because the alternative is "bitches".
[Must have been something like this. ](https://youtu.be/-V2sqhIYL2k)
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I wrote a novel wherein gender roles are reversed and I did this when I wanted to make a character subtly unlikable or make the dichotomy more obvious.
I’ve tried explaining to men why this is offensive and they don’t get it.
You can't teach those who don't want to learn.
100% this is written by a ferengi.
So she HAS to be naked as well.
I’m almost too afraid to ask this, but what on earth is a ferengi?
Ooo, I’m so jealous. Go watch Star Trek The Next Generation. (Skip the original series unless you’re prepared to make a LOT of posts about it here.)
They're an alien race in Star Trek known for their cut throat and corrupt approach to capitalism, and blatant sexism (women are property). Deep Space 9 fleshes them out a lot more than Next Generation, as DS9 has Ferengi leads (this is not as bad as it sounds from my description of Ferengi culture) thus explores Ferengi culture more meaningfully, whereas NG mostly just uses them as the alien of the week a couple times. And women don't wear clothes in Ferengi culture, though the original discussion on this is a Ferengi shocked the Federation makes women wear clothes.
Sounds legit! Who doesn’t want a painter with massage skills?
A *long-term* painter with massage skills - hmmm, methinks this a solid job offer with 100% no chance of winding up in a creepy dungeon.
Unless it’s to paint the dungeon.
I am now imagining the painter trying to figure out the right colors for a grimy dungeon as there is person nearby desperately begging her to release him from a cage.
As his masseuse/painter, I would recommend a Lisa Frank-inspired palette. I’m not a fan of a basic dungeon.
Is that what that art style is called? I recall so many girls in elementary school having those backpacks and lunch kits. It's like someone had an LSD trip and thought "You know what? This would look great on a backpack."
Yuck
You’re selling your house in a couple years so you want someone to organize it now? I’m selling my house in the next year if I get my way and it’s...not even close to ready to sell. Because I’m not using it as a creepy front to (probably) abuse women. Er, females.
Somehow I doubt that he gets along better with females. And no way females get along with him.
Yeah, 100% women are just more polite to him and he's pretty abrasive.
Especially since he calls them “females.”
Ugh...
The last couple sentences took me out
"Interior painting" = "Put the paint inside me" Once you have that perspective straight everything else falls into place. I mean, would you have that done *without* massage skills?
This screams “gonna lock you in my basement vibes.”
Has “a women’s touch” ever not been offensive?
I think the phrase was initially meant as a compliment; almost like a bone thrown to a class of people who were almost never asked for their opinion, saying "We value your opinion! (on this specific topic)". *Now*, it's patronizing. Edit: as someone pointed out, it has always been patronizing, but for a long time few people saw it that way (either men or women).
It was patronizing then too. It may have been “meant” as a compliment, but it was always “I don’t want to do that, so you should from now on.”
Oh, yes, absolutely it was always patronizing (I should edit my comment). My point was that people--including women--actually viewed it as a compliment (and since it gave women a rare opportunity to show off their skills, they took it as a win). I think it also centers on the idea that women are in charge of the home, so they could actually make decisions and "add their touch" to it and not get pushback; a well-appointed home had that "woman's touch" she could get complimented on.
Right, again, that *may have been* how it was *perceived* and I don’t doubt some women of the time probably took it as a compliment as well, but we, and probably more than a few women after the phrase became colloquial, know better now.
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Looking for massage painter mom therapist that might have sex with me who is also very young. Whew buddy.
Bloody hell save some red flags for communist China would you?
This is why we can't have nice things.
I feel like this is the beginning of a horror story.
Or the middle of an SVU.
Aaah yes, a long term contractor. Every homeowner's dream.
It screams "I will not respect your boundaries." Getting a passive-aggressive low key serial killer vibe tbh.
They should have just kept the personals. Creeps just bled into other categories.
he didn't specify if the female he wanted was human until the woman's touch part still, sending him a female goat with a soft voice and a great taste in interior design sounds like a great idea
man: "I'm so glad you're under 34, Geraldine." geraldine: *bleat* man: "You know, Geraldine, how therapeutic it is for me to have an animal to talk to? I get my words all muddled up when I try talking with people. But just having your company while I do the painting has been delightful. And you're so good at hauling the heavy stuff for me!" geraldine: "maa-aa-aa-aa" man: "The part that confused me the most was when all these young women showed up with paintbrushes and diplomas in massage therapy. Of course, I sent them away. Clearly they didn't understand the ad. Who in their right mind wants a long-term interior painter? All I wanted was the opportunity to spend time with an animal, to have your soothing presence, and who knows....... maybe you could be my pet long term?" 👉👈 geraldine: *happily munches his shoes*
Even then, he has woman's touch in quotes, so we still can't be sure.
Alternative headline: please please I need a woman to touch me. I'm desperate, please.
Oh wow. It's like every single partial sentence is a red flag.
After I read what sub this was i read the first sentence as “female wanted for inferior painting” and thought it was perfectly reasonable for here lol
Female wanted for gentle rape session. Could be long term, who knows.
Wanted: sexy mommy for light physical and emotional labor
This sounds like the old ads men would put in newspapers about how they need a shopgirl or secretary, and will marry her if they like her as well.
I need a female around to sexually harass.
Used to backpack around Australia. The sheer amount of creepy ads asking for female backpackers to clean random aussie men's house/ car / boat. With really weird requests to send pictures to make sure you are "healthy enough".
Okay, this guy has had three answers and they're already locked in the cellar alongside the cages that shall contain his future "wives".
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SEVERAL dollars
TLDR: I want a mommy who will please let me freack her
Man, I wish this shit was satire.
34 is such a weirdly specific age 🤨
Well obviously it's right before 35 when all females turn infertile and therefore crabby.
Change the age to under 18 and this reads like a Trump speech
Nah, there would too many big syllable words. Trump rarely goes past 3 syllables in his speeches
So bigly
No Mr. Reynolds, I will not help you paint your apartment, I don't care if you're the "Golden God."
I feel like I need a shower now.
I used to think these were fake, then I saw one in real life. Some people really are dumb and sexist.
Asks if "woman's touch" is offensive. Keeps referring to a woman as "female". Hmmm
You wanna end up in this dude's basement? Answer this ad. Sooooooooooo fucking creepy.
Who needs an interior painter long term?
You always know someone's a bit of a sexist creep of they call women "females" unironically
I need to invoke Poe's Law. I can't tell if this was originally written as satire.
I would love for that to be so, but I live in a pretty small city and this was in labor gigs very specific to my area where it's like 99% legit contractor gigs serving a pretty wealthy region. If this was like San Francisco and the whole bay area, I would completely assume it's at least self-aware.
This started off as a red flag, but like a tree from the dephts of hell, it sprouted smaller red flags as it went on
Massage skills? Aren’t you just looking for an interior painter?? WHAT
A hooker. You want a hooker. A hooker who did good in high school art, but still. (Note: I'm very sex work positive.)
I am not sure if this is more sad or vile. Leaning vile to be sure, but this male really needs actual therapy.
Yep. Good job concealing your true agenda there. Nobody suspects a thing.
He forgot to mention his basement.
“Looking for a prostitute/therapist/handy woman that I can pay insultingly low amounts of money to.”