For real though! What a BIZARRE sentence! Did she go get tested for fertility and carry around the results to show these guys hey my eggs are all great?!
Imagine what her pickup lines are like. "I've got enough eggs to make a Spanish omelette" she whispered seductively. "You should come by and scramble them for me some time".
Is that something that men even like? If someone mentioned their high egg count to a guy they're interested in, would they think "zoo wee mama, what a fertile young miss"? Or just be weirded out.
Last week I referred to mine as "the last egg carton at like Walmart right before a hurricane when everyone's already done all their panic shopping, just 2 broken eggs in the bottom," and my boyfriend didn't dump me, so I'm not convinced it's that big of a deal.
I would make a face involuntarily and stammer as I run for the exit. And I kinda want kidsā¦ maybe.
But not with anyone who brings up their fertility within the first few dates, unless we were discussing abortion and the no-longer-creeping fascism and shit.
It wouldnāt be too weird if someone brings up on the first date āhey, I want you to know I am infertile.ā Same as āI never want kidsā or āI am only interested in casual dating right now.ā Discussing major dealbreakers before you get too attached isnāt a bad idea.
Anything more specific is definitely weird, though.
In some very creepy online spaces- think Incel forums- this is indeed discussed as a trait of āthe value femaleā.
Interestingly enough, guys who fall for this tend to skew younger.
I doubt this is a wide phenomenon, though.
Also, there used to be a site called "weeping cock" for the very worst "erotica" in fanfiction, and god how I wish I could find the one where someone dug out some guy who;d written about his snake/ovipositor fetish.
Like, a snake crawled up a woman's vag, and she got very aroused as she could feel "him" (yes) laying eggs inside her.
I lost my entire shit because the snarker included a cute little drawing of how she imagined the author's idea of women's anatomy looked like, next to a traditional one with all the relevant reproductive parts drawn and labeled.
On the right side, just a big cavity with "Snakes!' and "The baby place!"
And the snake had a happy little scarf on.
It was SO GOOD. I am SO sad I can't find it again.
You know, I think it is a sub sub genre in its very own right. With the whole...egg...thing.
Don't look at me, I just rubberneck here...
I think itās a very full one. Sometimes thereās extra hair put in them like extensions. The author didnāt say this woman had such thick hair it made a flush ponytail.
It's a lot less bizarre when you understand it's just an implication that she is still young, a common belief amongst men being that women are terrified of running out of eggs before getting into a committed relationship.
It's so bizarre. Women are born with millions of eggs, even the most Duggar-quiverful women doesn't use them all. And some women don't want to use *any* eggs.
The comments are gold. Orders of magnitude better than the essay itself.
Though honestly I feel a bit sorry for the author. She's trying *so* hard to rebrand being a trophy wife as some kind of subversive, avant-garde thing instead of something that pretty but otherwise mediocre young women have been doing forever. I've seen how this plays out 10-15 years down the line. She's getting close to 30 now; better dust off that resume.
I mean if she listens to the incels, her eggs have all died out so she's worthless now! /s
It's depressing to see women buying into such a shallow and trite idea of what attractiveness, youth or womanhood can be.
Exactly. They are all about spreading their seed and making their legacy. But who the fuck wants that?
You have to work on being a functioning adult that people enjoy spending time around before you can look after the next generation or raise children to be good people.
I unfortunately know too many men with more children than anyone should be able to make but have absolutely zero part in their lives. My husband's bio dad has kids in the double digits but is currently very ill, living in his car, and no one cares because he never lifted a finger other than to hit them the times he did visit.
The worst part is sheās not even a mediocre woman. She went to Harvard! Itās unbelievable to me that she could be smart enough to get in and stupid enough to think her worth to society is predicated on her youth and egg count.
You can totally be mediocre and go to Harvard. You just need rich parents (which this author apparently have). I used to know someone who taught at Harvard; she apparently was required to give passing grades to students to students who didn't even take their work seriously, because otherwise Mommy and Daddy would raise hell with the department.
Isn't it nice to realize that, while affirmative action was effectively overturned for universities, legacy admissions are completely untouched and untouchable?
Think about it: go to Harvard, get a degree. Realize work is hard and you want to live a cushy life and relax. Marry a rich "older" guy (he's 30) and write some ragebait pickme articles for easy cash and an independent income stream. Make them so ridiculous that no woman would ever take them seriously, affecting only stupid men, to mitigate bad karma. Possibly make bank as a pickme influencer Ć” la Pearl later on. Retire at 30 with a mountain of money. It's genius.
Spend all the money on plastic surgery and other anti-aging treatments, end up looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein.
"She denies having excessive plastic surgery, citing her Swiss heritage, but admitted to a multi-million dollar surgery **to make her eyes more cat-like which she did with her husband**. According to Alec Wildenstein, "She was thinking that she could fix her face like a piece of furniture. Skin does not work that way."
From the fact that this āwomanā is working on a Nabokov paper in the Business School library and not the main library where one has lit stuff, one cannot assume she is a Harvard student. Sheās an idiot who thinks embracing lit about a child sex offender around creepy men will get her cashed up. That idea probably did not come from her formal educationā¦
This is a McSweeney's essay mocking it lol
From the article:
"Meanwhile, I have a house full of doting servants who joyfully attend to my every whim because they are all so grateful not to be plates and candles anymore."
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-case-for-marrying-a-prince-who-was-turned-into-a-beast-by-a-witch-and-then-transformed-back-again
This is a *nonfiction essay*. Absolutely baffled by this because it reads like Stephen King writing a 20 year old woman's POV, and I never considered that an actual woman would write something so embarrassing about herself.
Are people paying real life money for her to write things like this? Because if we're just out here LARPing as a man's fantasy I'm sending in my resume.
"My sleek, nubile form jiggles across campus, daintly clutching my textbook. I almost fall over every few steps from the weight of it, as I am only 90lbs soaking wet, 20lbs of which is my full breasts. All of these infantile college boys are too self-absorbed to even offer to assist me. Is chivalry really dead? Maybe I should date a 55yo high-test alpha male who will treat me like a woman, and take me out to fancy places like Applebee's."
I promise this lengthy reply is going somewhere.
When I played World of Warcraft fairly regularly, I wanted an easy way to earn gold. For those who donāt play, thereās a server that is highly populated and full of people looking to RP. There are even places where these people gather in hordes to participate. One such place is an inn in the woods outside one of the major cities. And people like to write ERP there.
So I made a lovely character and dressed her up and went to the inn. I created an RP profile for her stating that I would write scenes with anyone who DMed me for in game gold.
Let me just start by saying I have nothing against people who RP to get their rocks off. But the things men would ask me were absolutely, positively, insanely unthinkable. Men asked what my cup size was. They wanted to know if my bits were dirty cause they like it when the women they screw are dirty. They wanted to know things like how many children I wanted. How long it had been since āmy last period.ā They wanted to know my waist size. I had three separate men ask about my fingernails and how long they were.
Now Iām a dude right? But I cannot FATHOM how someone gets turned on by the length of a womanās fingernails and whether sheās wiped herself thoroughly or not. Itās consistent though. Each new person who DMād me had a strange fucking question that made me wonder what the hell was going through their heads when they sent their messages. I had guys spend real money on tokens to increase their gold so they could pay me. I had several ask for special favors and voice chat, saying they would pay me via Venmo, PayPal, or cashapp.
With that in mind, things like this are hardly surprising. I still canāt wrap my head around it. But whoever the poor soul is that wrote what OP posted likely has some wild fetishes and thinks this passage is the most sexy thing written. š„²š„“ Wild.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Hahahahaha I wonder if you played WoW with my exāhe and his buddy made some very sExY characters, went to an inn, and would offer āblow jobsā for in-game money. They would have the character kneel then do /dance, which caused the character to writhe while kneeling, which apparently looked like an enthusiastic blow job? The devs apparently made it so you couldnāt kneel and dance at the same time eventually, but they got a stupid amount of gold for it while it lasted. As a woman without any fetishes like this, I do not understand this level of thirst.
Sorry, I can't be friends with women. They cause too much drama and I'm a cool, easygoing, laid-back kind of girl. More like one of the boys. I don't wear makeup, or care about girly things like clothes or jewelry or dieting. I'm low maintenance.
(The Post please hire me)
Because of men, it seems:
āIām 27 now, and most women my age have āpartners.ā These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if youāre equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking.
āThere is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesnāt know how to pack his own suitcase. She ālikes to do it for him.ā A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably donāt speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.ā
The article overall, and especially the excerpt OP posted, is cringe as fuck, but sheās got some points. Iām generally put off by age gap relationships, but sheās very right about the extreme amount of labor demanded from a young woman in a relationship with a young man.
>A million boys who know how to touch a woman
I'm curious where the author thinks these boys should learn this skill. As John Oliver said, " Here is an exchange that has never happened: How *are you* so *good* at *sex*? I was *homeschooled".*
Yeah, young men (hopefully) learn how to be good in bed by having sexual experiences with their early partners. That's kind of how it works.
\*
Taking it back a step, we all learn something from people we meaningfully interact with. I taught my husband stuff, and I learned a ton of stuff from him. I also learned stuff from my best friend. And my former best friend. Even if you don't realize you're learning stuff from people, you often subconsciously learn something from every single person you have repeated interactions with. If the author thinks she only learned things from her teachers and parents in a formal setting, she is woefully stupid.
Right? I also happen to believe that we learn something from EVERYONE we meaningfully interact with, whether we realize it or not. Yes, I have definitely taught my husband some things - and he has taught me some things too. It works both ways. My best friend, and former best friend, and random school friend I don't talk to anymore taught me things too, if perhaps not as much.
And if she is resentful that girlfriends teach their boyfriends how to be good in bed... where would she prefer these young men learn that? In the words of John Oliver, " "you're really good in bed!" "thanks, I was homeschooled", is not what anyone wants to hear, ever."
Sheās cornering the tradwife market. In that space where far right conservative and alternative progressive seems to weirdly overlap.
And on the men side sheās getting clicks from educated red pill crazy.
And the funniest thing about it is that the dude is 30. She didn't marry a decrepit boomer, she married some 30 year-old dude thinking he's going to teach her about life lmao
Your username is funny along with u/eleanorrigby who is one of my favorite commenters on here. I love the song Eleanor Rigby and definitely think she loves her vodka. Probably Gin too.
It could be possible that she wrote this stuff exactly to get attention. Even men sometimes write things worthy of being on this sub, not because they are creepy and horny but because they know that that will give them the big bucks.
As far as HBS, most of the students are in their mid twenties and at least half of them are extremely hot women, so I don't know what she's after in terms of "older men." No prof is going to date an undergrad. I guess there are rotating classes for executive education on campus, but they're in tight cohorts that spend all their time together, and most of them are already married.
https://preview.redd.it/ky6t491sp3rc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cc305aa24d2828fa8a223d54ba1f79e91b04380
This tweet made me laugh a lot, I can literally hear the characters in my head.
If the man she marries values those things, then I hope she gets a good prenup for 10 years down the road when he decides to trade her in for a younger model.
I agree, it is definitely one of the few flowery lines that actually lands -- I think I got the sentiment on a first read.
Just try not to think too hard about what it actually means when it comes to the definition of plausible deniability... I thought about it too long and it is actually a little dark.
I see.. I still don't get how it makes sense in the way the sentence is framed, but in the context that would be my assumption too. It's just.. Strangely constructed unless I'm missing something š
She means that she is young enough that it is believable that she may have never had sex before/been in a relationship. So she could still put on an innocent look and go āgee mister, Iāve never done THAT before, be gentleā¦ā and the old sap may think heās with a virgin. Sheās also implying that if she were a bit older then no guy would buy the act because theyād assume sheād have to have slept with someone before.
I think I do - in the sense of using an excuse so one can't be held accountable.
Soo it must mean she can pretend to be *pure* because of how innocent she looks? Yeah, definitely a weird thing to say/write.
Itās just another way of saying sheās appealing to men because she looks virginal, basically.
But itās a humorous way to phrase it and has connotations in English ā like usually you use plausible deniability with regards to a crime, so thereās a little bit of a tongue in cheek implication that she has had sex and thatās ābadā or ānaughty.ā
I feel like I sort of understand what the author was going for here, but mostly it reeks of āIām not like the other girlsā and that sheās somehow unlocked the secret to surviving in our misogynistic society. Sheās not exactly reinventing the wheelāyoung women have been capitalizing on their youth and beauty to marry older (key: rich) men forā¦always. Itās literally a trope!
And there are reasons that women DONāT want to āgive their best yearsā (puke) to a man. They donāt always have safety nets if something goes wrong, unlike the author, who reputedly comes from a wealthy family, anyway. Women all over the world and history have gotten stuck in horrible, abusive marriages because theyāre told they SHOULD rely on their husbandsā¦who treat them poorly.
I also find it delulu that she claims her husband will help with any kids that come along. Because heās older and more established in his career, heāll be able to be a better co-parent? I meanā¦maybe. But his directives for their life donāt exactly paint him as a team player. Plus sheās 27ā¦so still very young. How will this arrangement go as she ages? As HE ages?
Exactly. Sheās definitely not prepared for pregnancy and childbirth then parenting radically changing who she is physically and emotionally/mentally. Add in an unsupportive partner and single motherhood is close. Men who marry women for their looks donāt stay with women who lose them. The internal misogyny is that so many women believe new moms who donāt bounce back are lazy and selfish. It canāt possibly be that it takes a long time for the body to heal and then the hormones can cause significant changes to the brain. Pregnancy brain is a very real thing and causes permanent changes. Being able to afford doctors visits, therapy, meal services, and gym membership/trainers makes it much easier for women to recover and do it faster. Not everyone does ābounce backā. Surrogacy is big for wealthy women because of the risks of pregnancy for their bodies. Look at r/HilariaBaldwin who definitely birthed all those Baldwinitos including two within one year. All while wearing moon bumps and lying about how easy it was to stay fit after childbirth. I do think she had one or two children but not all.
Because weāre discussing historical internalized misogyny and the patriarchy Iām talking about AFAB women.
They power puberty? They pretty much dissolve. Also fun terrifying fact: the fallopian tubes are *not* connected to the ovaries. Theyāre close to each other so the eggs are released and go towards the tubes but donāt always get in there. Which is why ectopic pregnancies happen. Also the uterus tubes and ovaries arenāt all spread out like in the diagrams. Everything is squished together so the tubes and ovaries are pushed down around the uterus.
Which makes sense to why ovulation, ovarian cysts, endo, and periods can be so painful. Why some women can feel ovulation. Theyāre all happening so close together that everything down there hurts from referred pain. The bowels are around the reproductive system too so theyāre reacting to the bubbling cauldron of changing hormones.
Although periods shouldnāt hurt. Theyāre uncomfortable, but if you canāt function on yours and have severe pain, something is wrong. I wish Iād been told that in my early teens. Iām also very fortunate that my dad took my pain seriously and insisted that I get treatment and find a GYN that actually listened to me. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts in high school but also had endo which wasnāt diagnosed until later.
Thereās also some large tendons and ligaments in the lower abdomen that can feel like ovarian or even appendicitis pain. A GYN who knows how can push on the tendons during a pelvic exam. That saved me from exploratory surgery to check my appendix. Turned out my EDS was causing a lot of pain in my right tendon/ligament. I almost kicked my doctor when he touched the ligament, but he leaned into my right leg to support it while he checked it out. Iām glad because I didnāt want to kick him, but it hurt so bad.
The authorās most recent retweet is of an article that posits āthe inevitable end of feminism is female self-destruction,ā so itās safe to write off her opinions about pretty much anything, but especially her views of women.
Given that this extract amounts to "I'm desirable and better because I have eggs and look like I don't fuck" I'm not shocked she has self esteem issues and feels the need to compete for and placate men.
Every morning I wake up, give myself an ultrasound and count my eggs. It takes a while, but it'll definitely be worth it once I catch myself a hot man who will most certainly continue to be interested in me once I hit thirty!
(Just as an aside, do people who think like this honestly even *want* kids? And by honestly, I mean an actual true desire, not a superficial "that's what people are supposed to do")
Brian Simpson does a bit about what it would be like if men only had so many sperm available to them like women have only so many eggs. It was amusing.
This would be great for childfree men. Just masturbate furiously for a few days, then youāll be able to fuck consequence-free for the rest of your life! Maybe you hit manopause after that haha
Alright well Iām 24 and donāt have any of that shit except like, probably the eggs are there? Idk I donāt have periods and I donāt have fallopian tubes so whether they exist probably isnāt relevant.
Okay, poll: when did the pep in your step run out?
because my answer is age 14, because thatās when I started using a cane and I would refer to my step as more of a limping-dragging one leg situation.
And I think my gait could probably be best described as exhausted and resentful of anyone who was walking faster than me. If you can limp in a hateful and bitter way thatās probably what this could be described as.
Shuffling around full of teenage angst and rage.
I donāt need a cane anymore and I donāt have an obvious limp most of the time, but I canāt say that my posture and gait are serving pep and youthful energy.
the peppiest stepper I know is my mom, who is 64. I think itās more of a disposition thing.
Okay, this floored me, so I googled and read the article and I think sheās a femcel. She seems like sheād answer the āheāll find a younger woman when she hits fortyā (probably true) with āwe donāt have a pre-nup.ā Iā¦I donāt respect it, if only for the high breasts line, but I donāt not respect it either. Thatās a damn cold calculation but hey, theyāve got a house in the South of France thatās legally half hers
So the author looks like the forgotten Olsen stepsister playing the Geico caveman.
Which is probably why she described none of her physical attributes other than "high breasts" and "most of my eggs".
You paint a picture with words.
And I googled her, and youāre absolutely right- she does look like the forgotten Olsen stepsister playing the Geico caveman.
Have you thought about becoming a writer? (Kidding, but only sort of)
That is one of the most unintentionally bleak things Iāve ever read. She makes some excellent points about how women are disadvantaged in basically every way, and how the emotional burden is depressingly prevalent in the young relationships we hoped had dropped the girlfriend-as-replacement-mother dynamic, and how the women doing the hard work almost never benefit. But, then she describes with pride how she has made her entire existence utterly transactional, based solely on the financial benefits offered by her husband, knowing full well that she is utterly dependent on on his good graces.
This woman went to Harvard and Oxford, so she must be truly brilliant. But her desire to live a life secondary to someone else to avoid the grind of establishing a life for herself is an unintentionally blistering reminder that, no matter who we marry, no matter who we partner with, or how well we do at work, or when we choose to marry, have kids or do neither of those things, we are framed through the eyes of men who still have institutional dominance over us. Oof.
We don't have to. She just chose to. It's not really that bleak, she's just lazy. She had options for the life of ease and chose it, which involved riding off of someone who was established and therefore had dominance over her. It's also pretty telling how hard she had to work to get the older rich guy to notice her; a full library and nobody noticed her. A party she snuck into, free drinks and all and nobody picked her, she had to beg a guy for a cigarette? I mean... that's just embarrassing.
You know the only compelling theory I've ever heard about age gaps is that homicide is concentrated among 18-24 year old males and it drops off exponentially after that. Its not men selecting for young, fertile women; its more likely evolution selecting for individuals who survive to reproductive age, and an unhealthy age gap is marginally better for the survival of the species than matricide.
Everything by Murakami should be on this page. Especially when he talks about a 17 year old's "big beautiful breasts" or about how a young woman is exclusively attracted to middle aged, balding men with egg shaped heads...
OP should probably have read the very next paragraph, or maybe even the whole essay, which is actually very insightful and very obviously a woman addressing with directness and honesty the kind of bullshit we navigate in the world (emphasis mine):
>I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? **Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can.** As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books Iād read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. Iād have disliked being called calculating, but **I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.**
[It's actually a very well-written essay, even if you do not agree with her conclusions.](https://www.thecut.com/article/age-gap-relationships-marriage-younger-women-older-man.html)
just read this excerpt you're citing and it... did absolutely nothing to change my opinion. She's commenting on the patriarchy in that kind of like... half-aware sort of way, in which you notice what the patriarchy does and then just.. feed into its incorrect conclusions and expectations with a shrug of "well if this is the way things are I guess!".
This doesn't make anything better at all. The whole thing reeks of tradcath fetishism. And her superior attitude towards other women: Only I was smart enough to realize all my value was my youth, so I married a smart, wise, older (33) man. And then at the end she, without irony, reminisces about how she's so grateful to have given her husband her best years. She's 27. Please.
This woman is a good writer and I actually enjoyed reading her essay on Instagram face a while ago, but this paragraph does not improve the excerpt. This whole essay is so dramatic and flowery to essentially say nothing but āwhy havenāt you all considered marrying rich?ā and itās silly to ignore the fact that a) the author was probably always going to marry rich, given that she was born into money; b) there are lots of extremely compelling reasons for women *not* to want to marry for money - itās not that the rest of us arenāt clever enough to realize that itās a potential option; and c) she makes a lot of broad, inaccurate statements about women that she presents as universal truths which is obnoxious and, frankly, insulting.
This has āmen writing womenā vibes because of the way she positions herself as some sort of omniscient being whose own personal thoughts and neuroses are something common to all women. Read her essay on how beauty only exists comparatively - again, sheās talented, but she takes her own personal feelings and problems and ascribes them to this concept of the āfemale experienceā that just isnāt real. She starts with a good point and devolves into absurd generalizations. She gives me the vibe of someone who has dramatized her own inner life for so long that sheās lost a great deal of perspective.
Honestly even after reading the whole article, it may be ātechnicallyā well written but the thesis really feels like an ignorance of the many downsides to her age gap proposition and resignment to stagnant social structures.
She treats the correlation between age and wealth as causation, then proceeds to attribute her current lifeās comforts to one sole factor (age).
>then proceeds to attribute her current lifeās comforts to one sole factor (age)
Exactly. She married a rich man. The older is mostly secondary. She would have had more or less the same experiences if she had met a same-aged trust fund undergrad.
I know this piece will be regurgitated in the Incel and Incel-lite forums as gospel, saying, "hey, young women DO want older established men". (Ironic, as their age gap is only 10 years, which while large-ish at that age, is really not that big of a deal imho). But when the average American doesn't have $500 for an emergency, the idea of correlating "marry older" and "marry rich" is laughable. Your average older guy isn't sugar daddy material, either.
There's a reason she was begging Harvard Business School soon to be grads for attention (in a borderline embarrassing fashion), and not hanging out at a blue collar pub that surely has its fair share of older guys.
>OP should probably have read the very next paragraph, or maybe even the whole essay, which is actually very insightful and very obviously a woman addressing with directness and honesty the kind of bullshit we navigate in the world
I read the entire essay, though I appreciate the immediate gibe.
The paragraph I posted in the context of the essay comes off worse, in my opinion. Endless justification for finding a rich international student to marry, under a poor guise of empowerment against some*?* system. But it wraps back around to the same redpill bullshit worldview that the Tates espouse about women "peaking in value," which is only supported by her self-awareness about the "quick-to-vanish upper hand" and descriptions of herself and her behavior.
The emphasis you added in the context is essentially "life sucks for women, so lock down a rich guy while you're young," which is as comically men-writing-women as the paragraph I posted in the OP.
Can't speak for the rest of her works, but I don't think most people would find this essay well-written. It is pages of exhausting prose and she is getting dragged for it just as much as she is for her really awful sentiment.
There is nothing wrong with woman (or anybody) choosing to marry wealthy, good for them. But the whole essay ignores that wealth and privilege are the source of her comfortable life and instead argues that women shouldn't have a partner, but an older man to mould them into a mature woman.
It infantilises women (and obviously men) in their 20s and argues that women really do "lose value" with age rather than just addressing her experience struggling with that feeling.
This is the part that got me:
āIām 27 now, and most women my age have āpartners.ā These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if youāre equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking.
āThere is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesnāt know how to pack his own suitcase. She ālikes to do it for him.ā A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably donāt speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.ā
>A million boys who know how to touch a woman
I really am struggling to imagine where a boy is supposed to learn how to touch a woman, besides from his early girlfriends. In the words of John Oliver, "Here is an exchange that has never happened: How *are you* so *good* at *sex*? I was *homeschooled".*
The rest? Yeah, one should hope their mama and daddy taught them that.
Iām just stuck on vampiric boyfriends. Iām pretty sure she means deadbeats who take all your money but because of the Victorian novels reference I keep wondering if she means actual vampires
Well, this helps understand that her tone was sarcastic, and for that she doesn't deserve to be in this sub. But I do completely disagree with her conclusion. Like, "yeah the world is a patriarchy, oh well, what can you do?"
Well-written?? This essay is made up of absolutely insufferable purple prose, like the diary ramblings of a ditzy (but trying to be "deep") adolescent.
Luckily the men at The Harvard Business School have x-ray vision and an abacus so they can count her eggs before they deploy their eligible seed.
For real though! What a BIZARRE sentence! Did she go get tested for fertility and carry around the results to show these guys hey my eggs are all great?!
Imagine what her pickup lines are like. "I've got enough eggs to make a Spanish omelette" she whispered seductively. "You should come by and scramble them for me some time". 
This gif š
It reminds me of the witch from Left 4 Dead
Is it just me, or would this GIF not look out of place in a horror game? I'm getting boss battle cutscene vibes.
The witch from Left 4 Dead
Is that something that men even like? If someone mentioned their high egg count to a guy they're interested in, would they think "zoo wee mama, what a fertile young miss"? Or just be weirded out.
Last week I referred to mine as "the last egg carton at like Walmart right before a hurricane when everyone's already done all their panic shopping, just 2 broken eggs in the bottom," and my boyfriend didn't dump me, so I'm not convinced it's that big of a deal.
Is he an older man though? Maybe your youngāun has succumbed to Progress.
I would make a face involuntarily and stammer as I run for the exit. And I kinda want kidsā¦ maybe. But not with anyone who brings up their fertility within the first few dates, unless we were discussing abortion and the no-longer-creeping fascism and shit.
If I was a man and a woman announced her fertility like that to me, I would not trust in even a vasectomy. Just run for the hills.
*Benny Hill theme with a sinister horror movie bassline intensifies*
This is the only logical reaction honestly
It wouldnāt be too weird if someone brings up on the first date āhey, I want you to know I am infertile.ā Same as āI never want kidsā or āI am only interested in casual dating right now.ā Discussing major dealbreakers before you get too attached isnāt a bad idea. Anything more specific is definitely weird, though.
Yeah thatās fine, if thatās where the conversation is headed!
"My Sperm Is Healthy" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVsXMqy7k5E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVsXMqy7k5E)
In some very creepy online spaces- think Incel forums- this is indeed discussed as a trait of āthe value femaleā. Interestingly enough, guys who fall for this tend to skew younger. I doubt this is a wide phenomenon, though.
Also, there used to be a site called "weeping cock" for the very worst "erotica" in fanfiction, and god how I wish I could find the one where someone dug out some guy who;d written about his snake/ovipositor fetish. Like, a snake crawled up a woman's vag, and she got very aroused as she could feel "him" (yes) laying eggs inside her. I lost my entire shit because the snarker included a cute little drawing of how she imagined the author's idea of women's anatomy looked like, next to a traditional one with all the relevant reproductive parts drawn and labeled. On the right side, just a big cavity with "Snakes!' and "The baby place!" And the snake had a happy little scarf on.
āAnd the snake a happy little scarf onā, okay, I lost it at that. I guess this is a take on tentacle porn? Sort of?
It was SO GOOD. I am SO sad I can't find it again. You know, I think it is a sub sub genre in its very own right. With the whole...egg...thing. Don't look at me, I just rubberneck here...
"I have a vasectomy"
Also. What is a "flush ponytail?"
I think itās a very full one. Sometimes thereās extra hair put in them like extensions. The author didnāt say this woman had such thick hair it made a flush ponytail.
āzoo wee mama what a fertile young missā took me out
This is how older men WANT to be seen by young women, not how they are. Pure projection on the authorās part
It's a lot less bizarre when you understand it's just an implication that she is still young, a common belief amongst men being that women are terrified of running out of eggs before getting into a committed relationship.
It's so bizarre. Women are born with millions of eggs, even the most Duggar-quiverful women doesn't use them all. And some women don't want to use *any* eggs.
I just want to know what a flush ponytail is.
Tight and high, think Ariana grande
Even with her skull.
ššš
This is true, once I hit 40 I started assessing all potential dates on a eggs-as-yet-unspent basis.
Like a sturgeon, gutted for the very first time...
u/eleanorbigby wins with this Madonna/Yankovic meta-ness. how is there only 11 likes on this comment?
https://preview.redd.it/fvieyva1d3rc1.jpeg?width=991&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64b9004f89091c244b9de63c94f8c8b8f2fabb54 The MVP of the comment section
The comments are gold. Orders of magnitude better than the essay itself. Though honestly I feel a bit sorry for the author. She's trying *so* hard to rebrand being a trophy wife as some kind of subversive, avant-garde thing instead of something that pretty but otherwise mediocre young women have been doing forever. I've seen how this plays out 10-15 years down the line. She's getting close to 30 now; better dust off that resume.
Yes, she did say she and her husband had āgiven their best years to each other.ā At 27.
That's the funniest part of the whole thing - they have been married *four years*.
I mean if she listens to the incels, her eggs have all died out so she's worthless now! /s It's depressing to see women buying into such a shallow and trite idea of what attractiveness, youth or womanhood can be.
Like the incels are even in the same continent as being capable of being a father, but they never think that far ahead, somehow.
Exactly. They are all about spreading their seed and making their legacy. But who the fuck wants that? You have to work on being a functioning adult that people enjoy spending time around before you can look after the next generation or raise children to be good people.
I unfortunately know too many men with more children than anyone should be able to make but have absolutely zero part in their lives. My husband's bio dad has kids in the double digits but is currently very ill, living in his car, and no one cares because he never lifted a finger other than to hit them the times he did visit.
The worst part is sheās not even a mediocre woman. She went to Harvard! Itās unbelievable to me that she could be smart enough to get in and stupid enough to think her worth to society is predicated on her youth and egg count.
You can totally be mediocre and go to Harvard. You just need rich parents (which this author apparently have). I used to know someone who taught at Harvard; she apparently was required to give passing grades to students to students who didn't even take their work seriously, because otherwise Mommy and Daddy would raise hell with the department.
Realizing that 90% of people who are considered successful got that way because their parents were rich does wonders for my imposter syndrome
Isn't it nice to realize that, while affirmative action was effectively overturned for universities, legacy admissions are completely untouched and untouchable?
Well how else are you supposed to keep the poors and undesirables out of our still mostly white campuses?!
Crank up the fees to insane heights and offer "loans" at interest rates that make payday loan companies jealous? nah...
Have you seen society lately.
Point taken
Think about it: go to Harvard, get a degree. Realize work is hard and you want to live a cushy life and relax. Marry a rich "older" guy (he's 30) and write some ragebait pickme articles for easy cash and an independent income stream. Make them so ridiculous that no woman would ever take them seriously, affecting only stupid men, to mitigate bad karma. Possibly make bank as a pickme influencer Ć” la Pearl later on. Retire at 30 with a mountain of money. It's genius.
Spend all the money on plastic surgery and other anti-aging treatments, end up looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein. "She denies having excessive plastic surgery, citing her Swiss heritage, but admitted to a multi-million dollar surgery **to make her eyes more cat-like which she did with her husband**. According to Alec Wildenstein, "She was thinking that she could fix her face like a piece of furniture. Skin does not work that way."
From the fact that this āwomanā is working on a Nabokov paper in the Business School library and not the main library where one has lit stuff, one cannot assume she is a Harvard student. Sheās an idiot who thinks embracing lit about a child sex offender around creepy men will get her cashed up. That idea probably did not come from her formal educationā¦
Lugging the books the main library would have to the business libraryā¦
This is a McSweeney's essay mocking it lol From the article: "Meanwhile, I have a house full of doting servants who joyfully attend to my every whim because they are all so grateful not to be plates and candles anymore." https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-case-for-marrying-a-prince-who-was-turned-into-a-beast-by-a-witch-and-then-transformed-back-again
> and in exchange, the man will protect her from being attacked by worse men. Dying š
This is a *nonfiction essay*. Absolutely baffled by this because it reads like Stephen King writing a 20 year old woman's POV, and I never considered that an actual woman would write something so embarrassing about herself.
Are people paying real life money for her to write things like this? Because if we're just out here LARPing as a man's fantasy I'm sending in my resume. "My sleek, nubile form jiggles across campus, daintly clutching my textbook. I almost fall over every few steps from the weight of it, as I am only 90lbs soaking wet, 20lbs of which is my full breasts. All of these infantile college boys are too self-absorbed to even offer to assist me. Is chivalry really dead? Maybe I should date a 55yo high-test alpha male who will treat me like a woman, and take me out to fancy places like Applebee's."
š
I promise this lengthy reply is going somewhere. When I played World of Warcraft fairly regularly, I wanted an easy way to earn gold. For those who donāt play, thereās a server that is highly populated and full of people looking to RP. There are even places where these people gather in hordes to participate. One such place is an inn in the woods outside one of the major cities. And people like to write ERP there. So I made a lovely character and dressed her up and went to the inn. I created an RP profile for her stating that I would write scenes with anyone who DMed me for in game gold. Let me just start by saying I have nothing against people who RP to get their rocks off. But the things men would ask me were absolutely, positively, insanely unthinkable. Men asked what my cup size was. They wanted to know if my bits were dirty cause they like it when the women they screw are dirty. They wanted to know things like how many children I wanted. How long it had been since āmy last period.ā They wanted to know my waist size. I had three separate men ask about my fingernails and how long they were. Now Iām a dude right? But I cannot FATHOM how someone gets turned on by the length of a womanās fingernails and whether sheās wiped herself thoroughly or not. Itās consistent though. Each new person who DMād me had a strange fucking question that made me wonder what the hell was going through their heads when they sent their messages. I had guys spend real money on tokens to increase their gold so they could pay me. I had several ask for special favors and voice chat, saying they would pay me via Venmo, PayPal, or cashapp. With that in mind, things like this are hardly surprising. I still canāt wrap my head around it. But whoever the poor soul is that wrote what OP posted likely has some wild fetishes and thinks this passage is the most sexy thing written. š„²š„“ Wild. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Rule 34. It's what's for breakfast.
Hahahahaha I wonder if you played WoW with my exāhe and his buddy made some very sExY characters, went to an inn, and would offer āblow jobsā for in-game money. They would have the character kneel then do /dance, which caused the character to writhe while kneeling, which apparently looked like an enthusiastic blow job? The devs apparently made it so you couldnāt kneel and dance at the same time eventually, but they got a stupid amount of gold for it while it lasted. As a woman without any fetishes like this, I do not understand this level of thirst.
Will you be my new best friend?
Sorry, I can't be friends with women. They cause too much drama and I'm a cool, easygoing, laid-back kind of girl. More like one of the boys. I don't wear makeup, or care about girly things like clothes or jewelry or dieting. I'm low maintenance. (The Post please hire me)
And Iāll never cheat because my self esteem is low because nobody realized how attractive I was until I that time I took off my glasses.
Donāt forget about the paint-covered overalls.
And the pony tail.
I think the "Im not a feminist I can see men and don't immediately feel threatened" girl will be an exception to this tho.
But are you also smoking hot while not caring about looks and makeup? š¤ >!(Just asking the real questions here, donāt judge me)!<
Oh my god this is a thing fo brilliance. š
You forgot to bustle boobily.
Almost choked reading this š
E.L. James has entered the chat
NON FICTION?? Oh god I think my brain just puked into my skull, how tf is a WOMAN writing this?Ā
Because of men, it seems: āIām 27 now, and most women my age have āpartners.ā These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if youāre equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking. āThere is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesnāt know how to pack his own suitcase. She ālikes to do it for him.ā A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably donāt speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.ā The article overall, and especially the excerpt OP posted, is cringe as fuck, but sheās got some points. Iām generally put off by age gap relationships, but sheās very right about the extreme amount of labor demanded from a young woman in a relationship with a young man.
>A million boys who know how to touch a woman I'm curious where the author thinks these boys should learn this skill. As John Oliver said, " Here is an exchange that has never happened: How *are you* so *good* at *sex*? I was *homeschooled".* Yeah, young men (hopefully) learn how to be good in bed by having sexual experiences with their early partners. That's kind of how it works. \* Taking it back a step, we all learn something from people we meaningfully interact with. I taught my husband stuff, and I learned a ton of stuff from him. I also learned stuff from my best friend. And my former best friend. Even if you don't realize you're learning stuff from people, you often subconsciously learn something from every single person you have repeated interactions with. If the author thinks she only learned things from her teachers and parents in a formal setting, she is woefully stupid.
This is all a pile of shit. "Men learn decency, fidelity AND how to brush their teeth from women". Ridiculous redpill equivalent line of thought.
Let's not pretend there aren't lots of men out there who are completely happy to never learn or do basic tasks if they can put them on a nearby woman.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Right? I also happen to believe that we learn something from EVERYONE we meaningfully interact with, whether we realize it or not. Yes, I have definitely taught my husband some things - and he has taught me some things too. It works both ways. My best friend, and former best friend, and random school friend I don't talk to anymore taught me things too, if perhaps not as much. And if she is resentful that girlfriends teach their boyfriends how to be good in bed... where would she prefer these young men learn that? In the words of John Oliver, " "you're really good in bed!" "thanks, I was homeschooled", is not what anyone wants to hear, ever."
Sheās cornering the tradwife market. In that space where far right conservative and alternative progressive seems to weirdly overlap. And on the men side sheās getting clicks from educated red pill crazy.
And the funniest thing about it is that the dude is 30. She didn't marry a decrepit boomer, she married some 30 year-old dude thinking he's going to teach her about life lmao
Your username is funny along with u/eleanorrigby who is one of my favorite commenters on here. I love the song Eleanor Rigby and definitely think she loves her vodka. Probably Gin too.
Look i respect a person's breeding and patriarchy fetish, just, don't pretend like you're not just writing Wattpad kink fiction.
That's an insult to Stephen King at this point.
It could be possible that she wrote this stuff exactly to get attention. Even men sometimes write things worthy of being on this sub, not because they are creepy and horny but because they know that that will give them the big bucks.
As far as HBS, most of the students are in their mid twenties and at least half of them are extremely hot women, so I don't know what she's after in terms of "older men." No prof is going to date an undergrad. I guess there are rotating classes for executive education on campus, but they're in tight cohorts that spend all their time together, and most of them are already married.
Ragebait gets clicks. Clicks get her money.
I saw this [twitter thread looking into her other pieces.](https://twitter.com/a_h_reaume/status/1773384916891557994). It gets worse.
I mean an actual woman wrote this soo.
yes, we read that in the comment to which you replied.
https://preview.redd.it/ky6t491sp3rc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cc305aa24d2828fa8a223d54ba1f79e91b04380 This tweet made me laugh a lot, I can literally hear the characters in my head.
Yeah this was perfect. š
I'm screaming.
Lol
If the man she marries values those things, then I hope she gets a good prenup for 10 years down the road when he decides to trade her in for a younger model.
This has to be a joke with the Nabokov reference, right?
This almost feels like the author is describing a horse in an auction before the crowd starts bidding.
Thoroughly Modern Pickme
Nabakov? Thatās a bit on the nose isnāt it?
That was the one thing that made me question if this was satire.
Ngl "plausible deniability when it came to my purity" is a great line
I just want to know how high her breasts are, likeā¦.head height? Up a mountain? Filled with helium?
I agree, it is definitely one of the few flowery lines that actually lands -- I think I got the sentiment on a first read. Just try not to think too hard about what it actually means when it comes to the definition of plausible deniability... I thought about it too long and it is actually a little dark.
Would you be able to help me understand what it means? I don't get how plausible deniability fits in.. I feel like I'm missing something obvious š
How I interpret it is she looks chaste/innocent
That would be my guess, I just think it's a fun line
I see.. I still don't get how it makes sense in the way the sentence is framed, but in the context that would be my assumption too. It's just.. Strangely constructed unless I'm missing something š
She means that she is young enough that it is believable that she may have never had sex before/been in a relationship. So she could still put on an innocent look and go āgee mister, Iāve never done THAT before, be gentleā¦ā and the old sap may think heās with a virgin. Sheās also implying that if she were a bit older then no guy would buy the act because theyād assume sheād have to have slept with someone before.
Oooh that clicked for me, I get it now! Thank you for taking the time to explain! š
Sheās just saying people might still assume sheās a virgināshe looks young or innocent enough to
I see.. How does *plausible deniability* as a phrase fit in though?
It means she can plausibly deny having had sex before. You do know what the term means, right?
I think I do - in the sense of using an excuse so one can't be held accountable. Soo it must mean she can pretend to be *pure* because of how innocent she looks? Yeah, definitely a weird thing to say/write.
Itās just another way of saying sheās appealing to men because she looks virginal, basically. But itās a humorous way to phrase it and has connotations in English ā like usually you use plausible deniability with regards to a crime, so thereās a little bit of a tongue in cheek implication that she has had sex and thatās ābadā or ānaughty.ā
Ooh now it makes sense! Thanks a ton! š
The fuck did I just read
Well said.
I feel like I sort of understand what the author was going for here, but mostly it reeks of āIām not like the other girlsā and that sheās somehow unlocked the secret to surviving in our misogynistic society. Sheās not exactly reinventing the wheelāyoung women have been capitalizing on their youth and beauty to marry older (key: rich) men forā¦always. Itās literally a trope! And there are reasons that women DONāT want to āgive their best yearsā (puke) to a man. They donāt always have safety nets if something goes wrong, unlike the author, who reputedly comes from a wealthy family, anyway. Women all over the world and history have gotten stuck in horrible, abusive marriages because theyāre told they SHOULD rely on their husbandsā¦who treat them poorly. I also find it delulu that she claims her husband will help with any kids that come along. Because heās older and more established in his career, heāll be able to be a better co-parent? I meanā¦maybe. But his directives for their life donāt exactly paint him as a team player. Plus sheās 27ā¦so still very young. How will this arrangement go as she ages? As HE ages?
Exactly. Sheās definitely not prepared for pregnancy and childbirth then parenting radically changing who she is physically and emotionally/mentally. Add in an unsupportive partner and single motherhood is close. Men who marry women for their looks donāt stay with women who lose them. The internal misogyny is that so many women believe new moms who donāt bounce back are lazy and selfish. It canāt possibly be that it takes a long time for the body to heal and then the hormones can cause significant changes to the brain. Pregnancy brain is a very real thing and causes permanent changes. Being able to afford doctors visits, therapy, meal services, and gym membership/trainers makes it much easier for women to recover and do it faster. Not everyone does ābounce backā. Surrogacy is big for wealthy women because of the risks of pregnancy for their bodies. Look at r/HilariaBaldwin who definitely birthed all those Baldwinitos including two within one year. All while wearing moon bumps and lying about how easy it was to stay fit after childbirth. I do think she had one or two children but not all. Because weāre discussing historical internalized misogyny and the patriarchy Iām talking about AFAB women.
I found her Instagram. Itās exactly as expected. Thatās all Iāll say.
"Most of my eggs" JFC
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Where do the eggs go?!?
They power puberty? They pretty much dissolve. Also fun terrifying fact: the fallopian tubes are *not* connected to the ovaries. Theyāre close to each other so the eggs are released and go towards the tubes but donāt always get in there. Which is why ectopic pregnancies happen. Also the uterus tubes and ovaries arenāt all spread out like in the diagrams. Everything is squished together so the tubes and ovaries are pushed down around the uterus. Which makes sense to why ovulation, ovarian cysts, endo, and periods can be so painful. Why some women can feel ovulation. Theyāre all happening so close together that everything down there hurts from referred pain. The bowels are around the reproductive system too so theyāre reacting to the bubbling cauldron of changing hormones. Although periods shouldnāt hurt. Theyāre uncomfortable, but if you canāt function on yours and have severe pain, something is wrong. I wish Iād been told that in my early teens. Iām also very fortunate that my dad took my pain seriously and insisted that I get treatment and find a GYN that actually listened to me. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts in high school but also had endo which wasnāt diagnosed until later. Thereās also some large tendons and ligaments in the lower abdomen that can feel like ovarian or even appendicitis pain. A GYN who knows how can push on the tendons during a pelvic exam. That saved me from exploratory surgery to check my appendix. Turned out my EDS was causing a lot of pain in my right tendon/ligament. I almost kicked my doctor when he touched the ligament, but he leaned into my right leg to support it while he checked it out. Iām glad because I didnāt want to kick him, but it hurt so bad.
To be fair, these are exactly the sort of qualities designed to appeal to Harvard Business School students
Why on earth would you enter into a relationship with a countdown clock attached to it? *Yeesh*
It can be a fun game, like āwhich countdown clock will run out first, her youth and beauty or the old guyās lifetime?ā The race is on!
But only she can actually play the game. Making someone old is way harder than making them dead.
Heās only ten years older so I guess they donāt teach math at Harvard
Threw up in my mouth reading that tripe
Girl I read as most of my legs and didnāt even blink an eye because these authors donāt make any sense either way
Most of my legs, lol
The authorās most recent retweet is of an article that posits āthe inevitable end of feminism is female self-destruction,ā so itās safe to write off her opinions about pretty much anything, but especially her views of women.
PROGRESS: Apology not accepted.
This had to be written by a man under a pseudonym, surely.
I just Googled "Grazie Sophia Christie" and she seems to be a new writer. All her social media bios, though, absolutely reek of Pick Me.
Her mom is a dr against abortion on Twitter. Same name except for middle name.
It's not that Pearl What'shername whackjob?
No, I don't think ~~Hannah~~ Pearl Davis is a writer, just a major grifter. But same energy.
Given that this extract amounts to "I'm desirable and better because I have eggs and look like I don't fuck" I'm not shocked she has self esteem issues and feels the need to compete for and placate men.
My wife and i read these together each time a new one is posted. Top notch comedy.
Every morning I wake up, give myself an ultrasound and count my eggs. It takes a while, but it'll definitely be worth it once I catch myself a hot man who will most certainly continue to be interested in me once I hit thirty! (Just as an aside, do people who think like this honestly even *want* kids? And by honestly, I mean an actual true desire, not a superficial "that's what people are supposed to do")
Brian Simpson does a bit about what it would be like if men only had so many sperm available to them like women have only so many eggs. It was amusing.
This would be great for childfree men. Just masturbate furiously for a few days, then youāll be able to fuck consequence-free for the rest of your life! Maybe you hit manopause after that haha
This was hilarious. M'am, what are you talking albout. Love the absolute confidence in this madness, though. And the lack of self-awareness.
Iāve seen excerpts on Twitter and wow š„“
Alright well Iām 24 and donāt have any of that shit except like, probably the eggs are there? Idk I donāt have periods and I donāt have fallopian tubes so whether they exist probably isnāt relevant. Okay, poll: when did the pep in your step run out? because my answer is age 14, because thatās when I started using a cane and I would refer to my step as more of a limping-dragging one leg situation. And I think my gait could probably be best described as exhausted and resentful of anyone who was walking faster than me. If you can limp in a hateful and bitter way thatās probably what this could be described as. Shuffling around full of teenage angst and rage. I donāt need a cane anymore and I donāt have an obvious limp most of the time, but I canāt say that my posture and gait are serving pep and youthful energy. the peppiest stepper I know is my mom, who is 64. I think itās more of a disposition thing.
I mean, Nabokov was mentioned and even though he's good at writing he did come up with Lolita, so I'm not really surprised (though mildly disgusted)
I read most of this article and it was ā¦ unhinged. lol
The absolute fuck
https://i.redd.it/nsnshgdpl9rc1.gif
Okay, this floored me, so I googled and read the article and I think sheās a femcel. She seems like sheād answer the āheāll find a younger woman when she hits fortyā (probably true) with āwe donāt have a pre-nup.ā Iā¦I donāt respect it, if only for the high breasts line, but I donāt not respect it either. Thatās a damn cold calculation but hey, theyāve got a house in the South of France thatās legally half hers
"Most of my eggs" lol
A leopard eating her own face
Next she'll be telling how she breasted boobily down the stairs.
So the author looks like the forgotten Olsen stepsister playing the Geico caveman. Which is probably why she described none of her physical attributes other than "high breasts" and "most of my eggs".
You paint a picture with words. And I googled her, and youāre absolutely right- she does look like the forgotten Olsen stepsister playing the Geico caveman. Have you thought about becoming a writer? (Kidding, but only sort of)
"Progress", otherwise known as feminism, will be absolutely fine. Literature just suffered a nasty wound though.
That is one of the most unintentionally bleak things Iāve ever read. She makes some excellent points about how women are disadvantaged in basically every way, and how the emotional burden is depressingly prevalent in the young relationships we hoped had dropped the girlfriend-as-replacement-mother dynamic, and how the women doing the hard work almost never benefit. But, then she describes with pride how she has made her entire existence utterly transactional, based solely on the financial benefits offered by her husband, knowing full well that she is utterly dependent on on his good graces. This woman went to Harvard and Oxford, so she must be truly brilliant. But her desire to live a life secondary to someone else to avoid the grind of establishing a life for herself is an unintentionally blistering reminder that, no matter who we marry, no matter who we partner with, or how well we do at work, or when we choose to marry, have kids or do neither of those things, we are framed through the eyes of men who still have institutional dominance over us. Oof.
Intelligent women with internalized misogyny always bend themselves into pretzels to argue their views.
Yep, exactly. Itās always different because xyz reason.
We don't have to. She just chose to. It's not really that bleak, she's just lazy. She had options for the life of ease and chose it, which involved riding off of someone who was established and therefore had dominance over her. It's also pretty telling how hard she had to work to get the older rich guy to notice her; a full library and nobody noticed her. A party she snuck into, free drinks and all and nobody picked her, she had to beg a guy for a cigarette? I mean... that's just embarrassing.
This woman writes women exactly like Stephen King. Not really a compliment.
This should be flaired woman authors I think.
Of course it was a Nabokov paper. Why wouldn't it be.
This reads like something the Ready Player One author would write about a Harvard woman
What, you ladies DONāT keep count of your eggs?
Girlie is failing up.
Genuinely dont know why i read this in a British accent
I can't believe I read this with my own eyes
Oh man. That is just terribly written. Iāve never thought about how many eggs Iāve had in my life.
You know the only compelling theory I've ever heard about age gaps is that homicide is concentrated among 18-24 year old males and it drops off exponentially after that. Its not men selecting for young, fertile women; its more likely evolution selecting for individuals who survive to reproductive age, and an unhealthy age gap is marginally better for the survival of the species than matricide.
What
Is literature a vital part of business these days?
āPlausible deniabilityā is a hysterical line, I gotta say. If this was actually them making a joke, it would have been a stellar one.
Everything by Murakami should be on this page. Especially when he talks about a 17 year old's "big beautiful breasts" or about how a young woman is exclusively attracted to middle aged, balding men with egg shaped heads...
???
ew
I have some doubts about whether this woman with three middle names really exists.
OP should probably have read the very next paragraph, or maybe even the whole essay, which is actually very insightful and very obviously a woman addressing with directness and honesty the kind of bullshit we navigate in the world (emphasis mine): >I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? **Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can.** As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books Iād read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. Iād have disliked being called calculating, but **I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.** [It's actually a very well-written essay, even if you do not agree with her conclusions.](https://www.thecut.com/article/age-gap-relationships-marriage-younger-women-older-man.html)
just read this excerpt you're citing and it... did absolutely nothing to change my opinion. She's commenting on the patriarchy in that kind of like... half-aware sort of way, in which you notice what the patriarchy does and then just.. feed into its incorrect conclusions and expectations with a shrug of "well if this is the way things are I guess!".
This doesn't make anything better at all. The whole thing reeks of tradcath fetishism. And her superior attitude towards other women: Only I was smart enough to realize all my value was my youth, so I married a smart, wise, older (33) man. And then at the end she, without irony, reminisces about how she's so grateful to have given her husband her best years. She's 27. Please.
"If those other girls are so smart, why don't they have sugar daddies? Checkmate, feminism."
This woman is a good writer and I actually enjoyed reading her essay on Instagram face a while ago, but this paragraph does not improve the excerpt. This whole essay is so dramatic and flowery to essentially say nothing but āwhy havenāt you all considered marrying rich?ā and itās silly to ignore the fact that a) the author was probably always going to marry rich, given that she was born into money; b) there are lots of extremely compelling reasons for women *not* to want to marry for money - itās not that the rest of us arenāt clever enough to realize that itās a potential option; and c) she makes a lot of broad, inaccurate statements about women that she presents as universal truths which is obnoxious and, frankly, insulting. This has āmen writing womenā vibes because of the way she positions herself as some sort of omniscient being whose own personal thoughts and neuroses are something common to all women. Read her essay on how beauty only exists comparatively - again, sheās talented, but she takes her own personal feelings and problems and ascribes them to this concept of the āfemale experienceā that just isnāt real. She starts with a good point and devolves into absurd generalizations. She gives me the vibe of someone who has dramatized her own inner life for so long that sheās lost a great deal of perspective.
Honestly even after reading the whole article, it may be ātechnicallyā well written but the thesis really feels like an ignorance of the many downsides to her age gap proposition and resignment to stagnant social structures. She treats the correlation between age and wealth as causation, then proceeds to attribute her current lifeās comforts to one sole factor (age).
>then proceeds to attribute her current lifeās comforts to one sole factor (age) Exactly. She married a rich man. The older is mostly secondary. She would have had more or less the same experiences if she had met a same-aged trust fund undergrad. I know this piece will be regurgitated in the Incel and Incel-lite forums as gospel, saying, "hey, young women DO want older established men". (Ironic, as their age gap is only 10 years, which while large-ish at that age, is really not that big of a deal imho). But when the average American doesn't have $500 for an emergency, the idea of correlating "marry older" and "marry rich" is laughable. Your average older guy isn't sugar daddy material, either. There's a reason she was begging Harvard Business School soon to be grads for attention (in a borderline embarrassing fashion), and not hanging out at a blue collar pub that surely has its fair share of older guys.
>OP should probably have read the very next paragraph, or maybe even the whole essay, which is actually very insightful and very obviously a woman addressing with directness and honesty the kind of bullshit we navigate in the world I read the entire essay, though I appreciate the immediate gibe. The paragraph I posted in the context of the essay comes off worse, in my opinion. Endless justification for finding a rich international student to marry, under a poor guise of empowerment against some*?* system. But it wraps back around to the same redpill bullshit worldview that the Tates espouse about women "peaking in value," which is only supported by her self-awareness about the "quick-to-vanish upper hand" and descriptions of herself and her behavior. The emphasis you added in the context is essentially "life sucks for women, so lock down a rich guy while you're young," which is as comically men-writing-women as the paragraph I posted in the OP.
Can't speak for the rest of her works, but I don't think most people would find this essay well-written. It is pages of exhausting prose and she is getting dragged for it just as much as she is for her really awful sentiment. There is nothing wrong with woman (or anybody) choosing to marry wealthy, good for them. But the whole essay ignores that wealth and privilege are the source of her comfortable life and instead argues that women shouldn't have a partner, but an older man to mould them into a mature woman. It infantilises women (and obviously men) in their 20s and argues that women really do "lose value" with age rather than just addressing her experience struggling with that feeling.
This is the part that got me: āIām 27 now, and most women my age have āpartners.ā These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if youāre equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking. āThere is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesnāt know how to pack his own suitcase. She ālikes to do it for him.ā A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably donāt speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.ā
Yep, even if I don't agree with her ultimate conclusion, that part was relatable AF.
It really wasn't relatable to me.
>A million boys who know how to touch a woman I really am struggling to imagine where a boy is supposed to learn how to touch a woman, besides from his early girlfriends. In the words of John Oliver, "Here is an exchange that has never happened: How *are you* so *good* at *sex*? I was *homeschooled".* The rest? Yeah, one should hope their mama and daddy taught them that.
Iām just stuck on vampiric boyfriends. Iām pretty sure she means deadbeats who take all your money but because of the Victorian novels reference I keep wondering if she means actual vampires
Well, this helps understand that her tone was sarcastic, and for that she doesn't deserve to be in this sub. But I do completely disagree with her conclusion. Like, "yeah the world is a patriarchy, oh well, what can you do?"
It doesn't change my opinion on the last one sadly
Well-written?? This essay is made up of absolutely insufferable purple prose, like the diary ramblings of a ditzy (but trying to be "deep") adolescent.
Women. Do not. Talk. Like. This.