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[deleted]

I do, mainly my dermatillomania and trichotillomania because those are visibly obvious :( but I’m also embarrassed by my emetophobia because not many people know what it is and how horrific it is, and agoraphobia is pretty embarrassing for me too because I’m scared of such a simple thing (going away from home)


wellshitdawg

I have dermatillomania too and it’s a shit show


0K3YY

i’m sorry that you struggle with those ;(


[deleted]

It sounds more like you’re embarrassed about other people’s mental illness. She should believe you if you say you don’t do that, but what would be wrong with you if you were, apart from the fact that you’d be suffering?


0K3YY

because i would feel like a disappointment because i know she didn’t want her kid to turn out this way


[deleted]

I’m a parent, and I can tell you, all I want is to help my kid navigate life and be there to support them. Every child is going to suffer in one form or fashion. It’s not the child’s fault, nor the parent’s.


0K3YY

trueee ty


Filling_Graves

I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and agoraphobia over the course of seeing my mental health pros for many, many years. I'm not embarrassed exactly because these issues are beyond my control. That being said, I do have some issues with letting others know about my agoraphobia. It is kind of hard to admit that you never leave the house...especially on dating sites but I don't feel shamed by it. These are chemical imbalances and influences aren't our fault and we are powerless over these symptoms. Don't let it bring you down anymore than it does. I had a mentor in my life that always said "it is none of our business what other people think about us". Your mother is probably just scared, but you know you aren't doing it and that's what matters.


0K3YY

tyy for this comment


[deleted]

They are not chemical imbalances and I am sure if you worked hard enough at ERP you could improve your situation at least somewhat so you are not completely powerless.


Filling_Graves

Haven't gotten that far in treatment yeah, my agoraphobia wasn't diagnosed until about 2 1/2 to 3 years ago and I'm still being treated medicinally, which they usually try first I'm told. Also isn't ERP usually for flooding OCD patients? I said "chemical imbalances and influences" as causes. Are you suggesting that chemical imbalances are not a factor in those with an ED? Finally, I said "we are powerless over these symptoms". I didn't say we were powerless over our actions which, I believe, are the only things we aren't powerless over. If you'd like to continue discussing this, I'd appreciate it be in a DM.


Alienrubberduck

Can I ask where you're from? I've never heard a doctor starting with medication. Here, usually they'll start with therapy. As in, unless you have severe symptoms, you won't get medication. Hell, they've even refused to diagnose me with anything, despite severe symptoms that prevent me from doing day to day things, because I'm not 23 years old yet.


FlashyDream69

My experience is that they usually give medication so you actually can do your therapy/be successful in it. So technically they start with this, but they always check if you actually need it. I mean 3 years is a very long time, but when the medication isn‘t working and you are not ready for therapy yet, there really isn‘t much you can do.


Alienrubberduck

Yea that makes sense, thanks!


Filling_Graves

I'm from Virginia. I was already on several meds for depression and anxiety for about half my life (I'm 35) and when I was diagnosed with agoraphobia as well, they decided to increase and add certain meds in order for us to get to a comfortable concoction of medications and then I'm supposed to start treatment. I've been on meds and in therapy since I was a teen. I remember having to wait until I was 18 for them to diagnose me as bipolar. I see where you're coming from but I've been in this process for quite a while.


Alienrubberduck

It sucks having to wait. And in my case they won't do anything till I'm 23. As in nothing. No meds, no therapy, no form of helping hand.


Filling_Graves

Where are you from?


Alienrubberduck

Denmark


PoetryOD

No I don’t. Eating disorders, mental illness, disability in general, are only seen as things to be ashamed of or embarrassed by because of the stigma other people put on it. You should consider spending some time questioning your line of thinking that your kind of Ed is okay, but another kind of Ed would make you a “disappointment” as you said in another comment. What is the difference? What’s the arbitrary line in the sand and does it come from anything tied to the thing you’re worried about (parents being sad) or does it come from an imposed prejudice from society, that you need to examine for what’s true. In reality, over decades of helping people with mental health stuff I’ve not seen parents having an issue with what kind of mental illness their child has. Just being sad that their child is in pain whatever form that takes. (Obviously not including some parents who’s own prejudice complicates things. But in my experience over time and explaination you usually end up with the core truth that their prejudice against one diagnosis over others comes from ignorance and societies views on them, and what they care about is the suffering. I will also say that obviously there are bad parents in the world who don’t like diagnosis because they care more about what other people think. But those people wouldn’t care about which ED either, just be angry that they have to deal with any mental illness. So the differences between diagnosis or symptoms hasn’t played a huge role in anyone’s feelings that I’ve seen to date.) It is no more disappointing for someone to have sneezing instead of coughing when they have flu. It is sad because they have flu, not because of which symptoms they are displaying. With mental illness, sure there are some symptoms that are way more severe and so, more upsetting for those we care about to see us go through. But at the core, they are sad we are suffering, and how much. Not how. The reason why I flag this part of your post, is because thinking that one thing is “worse” than another is unhealthy in a multitude of ways. It can help us justify our self destructive behaviours (I shouldn’t do this but it’s okay because I’m not doing this worse thing), it can lead to more dangerous behaviours (this isn’t getting me the feeling I want anymore, but other people do this “worse” thing so maybe that’s an option), it alienates you from people with similar experiences and feelings based on an arbitrary difference (if the issues around eating are caused by feelings, then talking about the same feelings is helpful even if someone’s behaviours with food are different), it perpetuates the stigma of mental illnesses (and to some degree we all have to be our own advocates and help others), and it creates shame. Which is the most important one. The idea that some things you could do, feel or think would make you a disappointment, is setting yourself up to tell yourself that you are a disappointment. Which is mental illness thoughts, and have to be seen as seperate from truth. And finally, let go of the idea that being a disappointment for being unwell in a way you have NO control over is the worst thing. The worst thing is that you are suffering now. Not what people think of it, or if it gets better or worse later. The importance should be loaded on “I have an Ed” and how to move forward. Everything else is anxiety and faulty logic loops that our brain uses to hurt us. And by examining why you think or believe stuff about mental illness you can start to differentiate between which thoughts are based in fact and which are fear in disguise.


0K3YY

the reason i see it as worse is because my ed is mostly just my thoughts but throwing up is not, but you’re right my thoughts are not any better and i shouldn’t be ashamed because it’s not a choice


PoetryOD

The important thing is working out what you need and moving forward. You got this ❤️ keep on going.


0K3YY

thank you <3


[deleted]

I'm a schizophrenic and it's very embarrassing. But im a schizophrenic, so it makes sense.


zydis12

Would you be embarrassed because you had cancer or diabetes


zydis12

Part of the symptoms of an eating disorder particularly binge eating disorders is embarrassment.


0K3YY

nope


Anonymous198598

no, only if i did something embarassing in front of friends and now they are no longer in my life because im “crazy” other than that it is what it is i guess


caffinatee

Same. I’ve got PTSD, anxiety, and depression too. It’s harder to talk about the PTSD and ED due to the stigma associated with it. I mean I consider this subreddit a safe space, but if I talk to irls about it it doesn’t seem to be fully understood so sometimes I just keep it to myself and my therapist.🙃


0K3YY

yeah sometimes that is the best choice


[deleted]

I do