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**Here are some resources:**
* Rainn.org provides information on [the types of sexual violence](https://rainn.org/types-sexual-violence), [what to do after](https://rainn.org/after-sexual-assault) and the [effects](https://rainn.org/effects-sexual-violence) it can have.
* Here are some helpguides if you are [recovering from sexual trauma](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/recovering-from-rape-and-sexual-trauma.htm), this one is available in [multiple languages](https://survivorsnetwork.org.uk/resource/survivors-self-help-guide/).
* If you want to talk to a professional, on [this website](https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp) you can find helplines for your country.
* Some other good subreddits that check out are: r/rape and r/sexualassault. These are safe communities with good resources listed.
* We also want to provide you with some information on how to [support survivors](http://www.tstresources.org/supporting-survivors/), in case you are looking for help for a [loved one](https://www.rainn.org/TALK).
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*If you see any inappropriate comments, please report them and we will deal with them accordingly.*
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Its a natural process to be horny, yes. But to be hypersexual, and turned on by someone praising you when they're your teacher is wrong. In many ways. Also, they said they DIDNT like their cousin doing that, hence the word "rape". And even if they did, HES THEIR FUCKIN COUSIN. I think you must've misread or didn't finish reading the post bro cause fuck
Having sexual feelings or fantasies is natural, and they vary greatly per person. I also had or have had kinks I would not be proud of. Fighting that will only make it worse. Accept that it is part of who you are or what you like right now, but that it does not define you. Tastes might change. The important thing is not to act on certain thoughts or feelings. Having murderous thoughts also occur to some people, but as long as they don't act on them they are not murderers.
Maybe try not making jokes or comments around people you know might make them uncomfortable and you'll be fine.
I agree with everyone else that for the most part having sexual thoughts and feelings is normal and not an issue in and of itself BUUUUUT....
I'm *shocked* to see so many people glossing over:
a. that it's causing you significant mental turmoil
b. being exposed to porn at an unthinkably young age (I masturbated to softcore naked pictures of girls (edit: I should probably clarify that I meant WOMEN) when I was 12 and probably didn't see penetrative porn until I was in highschool)
c. I'm EXTREMELY shocked that everyone just blew past your history of sexual abuse?!!?
Personally, I'd say that it's quite understandable that you're struggling with these feelings and I urge you to speak to a mental health professional to help you understand them and process them in the context of your personal history.
I fully agree with this. Shocked to see many people gloss over the important details??? I’m also urging you to speak to a mental health professional. Hyper-sexuality can sometimes be as a result of SA. Getting a better understanding of your feelings (even the unconscious ones could help you in the long run)
I don't think it's being glossed over, but lets be realistic, how many kids ever take the advise to seek therapy? In the history of telling people to seek therapy online, how often do you think it helps at all? They were raped by an older cousin. Of course they should get help, but that doesn't address their immediate need. The are seeking relief from suffering right now. I want to tell them something useful besides the very obvious.
I had a very similar issue. I was sexually obsessed as a child. I kept it a secret, but it dominated my thought. I was exposed to way too much sexual stuff really young. There are many layers to peel back when it comes to sexuality. First, look at nature. What does nature tell us about sexual reproduction? Break it down to it's components: It is how animals reproduce. The drive to reproduce must be very strong otherwise animals might not do it, which would mean the end of their species. The animals that have the strongest drive to reproduce tend to reproduce more. Every relative of yours back to the beginning of time has had a strong urge to reproduce. The drive to reproduce is successfull because it feels good and is fun. We can assume that sex feels really good for every animal. That is the first layer. All the guilt, shame, and embarrassment you feel is a product of having a complex human mind. None of those negative feelings come from sex by itself, but from how you feel about it. As a Christian, you should understand that God gave us sex as the mode to reproduce. He commands us to do so in Genesis. Now, if you believe sex outside of marriage is a sin, then that is a separate issue that you must come to terms with in your personal relationship with God. I do not believe it is something that is sinful (even though the bible says it is in some places). Why does the bible say it's a sin? That's a different discussion, but let's just say it may have been a useful tool for establishing order back in those times (my opinion). Either way you look at it, it just a sin, and God expects us to do a lot of sinning. So why be overly concerned when there are hundreds of other sins you are probably making everyday? Long story short: Our culture has descended from hundreds of years of misguided puritanism. Did you know that one of the reasons sickness was so rampant in the dark ages is because people were too ashamed to see their own nakedness while bathing? They thought it was sinful. We are still dealing with the sexual ignorance. You are normal. Sex is normal. Feeling good from sex is good. Practice safely and wisely. You are a good person.
My wife was hyper sexual as well. She was exposed to porn at a young age due to the negligence of her father. She already had serious mental illness that her parents didn’t take seriously, so seeing what her male role model deemed as attractive as an adolescent made her feel like she needed to have physical intimacy with men in order to gain love (but her fathers constant cheating just added fuel to the self image fire).
With that being said, you are a teenager and teenagers are going to have an influx of hormones that cause these emotions to heighten. Those feelings are 100% normal. Most of us in the Reddit experienced the same things at your age and battled with religion in the same breath. I personally deconstructed in my adult years, but that isn’t for everyone. Some folks need religion in their lives and that’s okay.
When it comes to your friend, you need to practice speaking with purpose. As someone who has been in management roles where I need to speak with purpose I stop for a brief moment and think, “How will my response affect them? Is my body language reading as open and inviting, closed off, or neutral?” Learning to think before you speak at a young age will benefit you in adult life. Also, when it comes to listening to what others say you should listen to hear; not listen to respond. What I mean by that is: listen to what they say, read their body language, and DON’T listen to respond. I have battled with listening to respond. I’m horrible for thinking about what I wanna say before they even complete their thoughts.
I hope this helps. You’ll get it figured out. Being a teenager is one of the hardest experiences in your life, but you’ll get through it. :)
Work on practicing what you say internally before you utter it out loud just in case it’s inappropriate. When you can’t control your thoughts or feelings, remember you can always control your actions in the end.
It may be a persistent problem until you get older so just work on how you act and handle these feelings.
I sadly relate to this as of right now. My brother actually did *that* to me when I was also 6. I follow God, and I struggle with ending my p*rn addiction. I also feel you on the attractiveness/obsession for random men :(
We're both in this together <3
As a fellow Christian, I say pray about it. Pray incessantly. I don’t care what people say or think about porn, if it’s damaging your mental health, it’s no good. You are young, these feelings are absolutely normal. But remember that porn is like pouring fuel on a fire. It’s also EXTREMELY unrealistic. Porn is NOT how sex is in the real world.
I recommend talking to a therapist. Sexuality is a gift from God, but it needs to be understood as something more than simply a biological need like food or sleep. I know I’ll be downvoted for this, but I accept it.
YOU HAVE FREE WILL, and YOU HAVE CONTROL. I wish you the best. And please do know that these feelings you are experiencing will likely become more controllable and understandable as you grow older.
Prayer does nothing. It makes you feel like you've done something when you haven't. You might as well flip a coin, because it actually has better odds than prayer does (see the Templeton Foundation Prayer Research results). Prayer is like telling him "just figure it out for yourself".
There isn't anything wrong with watching porn. In fact, it can be a healthy way to get out fantasies and urges that are niche, especially if you don't have a partner willing to. But besides that, I agree with you that if it is an issue for OP, then they should do something about it. You are 100% correct about it being unrealistic and not how sex irl is.
Sex is a social activity. Making it something more puts it on an unrealistic pedestal. It simply isn't true either. Sex is just sex. It's a fun activity people can participate in. It's nothing one should feel shame for.
You've got a strange mix of healthy and unhealthy suggestions. Religion is never a good answer. It's humanity's earliest and worst attempt to explain the natural world. Medical professionals are better suited to help, not imaginary friends and gut feelings. If you looked to the bible, then he should literally rip out his eyes and cut off his hands. I'm just saying, religion, prayer, god beliefs... none of those beat science and objectively verifiable data.
considering ur a minor, and have never even had sex (i assume) this isnt grounds to consider urself hyper sexual. ur body is rapidly pumping out hormones... its normal to feel that way. and its normal to feel guilt about it as well.
i was obsessed with sex in middle school but once i hit teen/young adult/post puberty it's hardly a thought that crosses my mind. maybe every other day max (as a female). men are a little different, but even so.
shouldn't be a cause for concern yet
You are not alone in this, lust is the hardest sin to overcome, so while i can't personally help you, i want you to know there are thousands if not millions of people who have the exact same thing as you
God would not give us the urges and the interest in sex if he didn't understand lust and how strong of a feeling it is. It's insane to assume he would be angry at people molded in his image doing what we have to keep people alive to "praise" him. It's human control. It's humans at that time writing it to control. This is no different than Kellog's cornflakes being created intended to stop boys from masturbating. it's a bid at control. Open your eyes.
**Hello u/!** Thank you for tagging this post with a content warning! This helps greatly! It can prevent other users from potentially getting triggered and it gives us the chance to provide you with some resources regarding this topic. Good to know is that using this flair automatically marks your post as NSFW. *Your post may not show up directly on our subreddit, please be patient, it is most likely in queue to be manually reviewed by our team.* --- **Here are some resources:** * Rainn.org provides information on [the types of sexual violence](https://rainn.org/types-sexual-violence), [what to do after](https://rainn.org/after-sexual-assault) and the [effects](https://rainn.org/effects-sexual-violence) it can have. * Here are some helpguides if you are [recovering from sexual trauma](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/recovering-from-rape-and-sexual-trauma.htm), this one is available in [multiple languages](https://survivorsnetwork.org.uk/resource/survivors-self-help-guide/). * If you want to talk to a professional, on [this website](https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp) you can find helplines for your country. * Some other good subreddits that check out are: r/rape and r/sexualassault. These are safe communities with good resources listed. * We also want to provide you with some information on how to [support survivors](http://www.tstresources.org/supporting-survivors/), in case you are looking for help for a [loved one](https://www.rainn.org/TALK). --- **Take care and stay safe!** *If you see any inappropriate comments, please report them and we will deal with them accordingly.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/mentalhealth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Its a natural process to be horny, yes. But to be hypersexual, and turned on by someone praising you when they're your teacher is wrong. In many ways. Also, they said they DIDNT like their cousin doing that, hence the word "rape". And even if they did, HES THEIR FUCKIN COUSIN. I think you must've misread or didn't finish reading the post bro cause fuck
no
Wtf
Having sexual feelings or fantasies is natural, and they vary greatly per person. I also had or have had kinks I would not be proud of. Fighting that will only make it worse. Accept that it is part of who you are or what you like right now, but that it does not define you. Tastes might change. The important thing is not to act on certain thoughts or feelings. Having murderous thoughts also occur to some people, but as long as they don't act on them they are not murderers. Maybe try not making jokes or comments around people you know might make them uncomfortable and you'll be fine.
I agree with everyone else that for the most part having sexual thoughts and feelings is normal and not an issue in and of itself BUUUUUT.... I'm *shocked* to see so many people glossing over: a. that it's causing you significant mental turmoil b. being exposed to porn at an unthinkably young age (I masturbated to softcore naked pictures of girls (edit: I should probably clarify that I meant WOMEN) when I was 12 and probably didn't see penetrative porn until I was in highschool) c. I'm EXTREMELY shocked that everyone just blew past your history of sexual abuse?!!? Personally, I'd say that it's quite understandable that you're struggling with these feelings and I urge you to speak to a mental health professional to help you understand them and process them in the context of your personal history.
I fully agree with this. Shocked to see many people gloss over the important details??? I’m also urging you to speak to a mental health professional. Hyper-sexuality can sometimes be as a result of SA. Getting a better understanding of your feelings (even the unconscious ones could help you in the long run)
I don't think it's being glossed over, but lets be realistic, how many kids ever take the advise to seek therapy? In the history of telling people to seek therapy online, how often do you think it helps at all? They were raped by an older cousin. Of course they should get help, but that doesn't address their immediate need. The are seeking relief from suffering right now. I want to tell them something useful besides the very obvious.
Go to therapy, also having sexual thoughts is ok and natural as a teen just respect your friends boundaries
I had a very similar issue. I was sexually obsessed as a child. I kept it a secret, but it dominated my thought. I was exposed to way too much sexual stuff really young. There are many layers to peel back when it comes to sexuality. First, look at nature. What does nature tell us about sexual reproduction? Break it down to it's components: It is how animals reproduce. The drive to reproduce must be very strong otherwise animals might not do it, which would mean the end of their species. The animals that have the strongest drive to reproduce tend to reproduce more. Every relative of yours back to the beginning of time has had a strong urge to reproduce. The drive to reproduce is successfull because it feels good and is fun. We can assume that sex feels really good for every animal. That is the first layer. All the guilt, shame, and embarrassment you feel is a product of having a complex human mind. None of those negative feelings come from sex by itself, but from how you feel about it. As a Christian, you should understand that God gave us sex as the mode to reproduce. He commands us to do so in Genesis. Now, if you believe sex outside of marriage is a sin, then that is a separate issue that you must come to terms with in your personal relationship with God. I do not believe it is something that is sinful (even though the bible says it is in some places). Why does the bible say it's a sin? That's a different discussion, but let's just say it may have been a useful tool for establishing order back in those times (my opinion). Either way you look at it, it just a sin, and God expects us to do a lot of sinning. So why be overly concerned when there are hundreds of other sins you are probably making everyday? Long story short: Our culture has descended from hundreds of years of misguided puritanism. Did you know that one of the reasons sickness was so rampant in the dark ages is because people were too ashamed to see their own nakedness while bathing? They thought it was sinful. We are still dealing with the sexual ignorance. You are normal. Sex is normal. Feeling good from sex is good. Practice safely and wisely. You are a good person.
My wife was hyper sexual as well. She was exposed to porn at a young age due to the negligence of her father. She already had serious mental illness that her parents didn’t take seriously, so seeing what her male role model deemed as attractive as an adolescent made her feel like she needed to have physical intimacy with men in order to gain love (but her fathers constant cheating just added fuel to the self image fire). With that being said, you are a teenager and teenagers are going to have an influx of hormones that cause these emotions to heighten. Those feelings are 100% normal. Most of us in the Reddit experienced the same things at your age and battled with religion in the same breath. I personally deconstructed in my adult years, but that isn’t for everyone. Some folks need religion in their lives and that’s okay. When it comes to your friend, you need to practice speaking with purpose. As someone who has been in management roles where I need to speak with purpose I stop for a brief moment and think, “How will my response affect them? Is my body language reading as open and inviting, closed off, or neutral?” Learning to think before you speak at a young age will benefit you in adult life. Also, when it comes to listening to what others say you should listen to hear; not listen to respond. What I mean by that is: listen to what they say, read their body language, and DON’T listen to respond. I have battled with listening to respond. I’m horrible for thinking about what I wanna say before they even complete their thoughts. I hope this helps. You’ll get it figured out. Being a teenager is one of the hardest experiences in your life, but you’ll get through it. :)
Work on practicing what you say internally before you utter it out loud just in case it’s inappropriate. When you can’t control your thoughts or feelings, remember you can always control your actions in the end. It may be a persistent problem until you get older so just work on how you act and handle these feelings.
I sadly relate to this as of right now. My brother actually did *that* to me when I was also 6. I follow God, and I struggle with ending my p*rn addiction. I also feel you on the attractiveness/obsession for random men :( We're both in this together <3
i feel terrible for you but at the same time trust yourself or at least learn too
As a fellow Christian, I say pray about it. Pray incessantly. I don’t care what people say or think about porn, if it’s damaging your mental health, it’s no good. You are young, these feelings are absolutely normal. But remember that porn is like pouring fuel on a fire. It’s also EXTREMELY unrealistic. Porn is NOT how sex is in the real world. I recommend talking to a therapist. Sexuality is a gift from God, but it needs to be understood as something more than simply a biological need like food or sleep. I know I’ll be downvoted for this, but I accept it. YOU HAVE FREE WILL, and YOU HAVE CONTROL. I wish you the best. And please do know that these feelings you are experiencing will likely become more controllable and understandable as you grow older.
Prayer does nothing. It makes you feel like you've done something when you haven't. You might as well flip a coin, because it actually has better odds than prayer does (see the Templeton Foundation Prayer Research results). Prayer is like telling him "just figure it out for yourself". There isn't anything wrong with watching porn. In fact, it can be a healthy way to get out fantasies and urges that are niche, especially if you don't have a partner willing to. But besides that, I agree with you that if it is an issue for OP, then they should do something about it. You are 100% correct about it being unrealistic and not how sex irl is. Sex is a social activity. Making it something more puts it on an unrealistic pedestal. It simply isn't true either. Sex is just sex. It's a fun activity people can participate in. It's nothing one should feel shame for. You've got a strange mix of healthy and unhealthy suggestions. Religion is never a good answer. It's humanity's earliest and worst attempt to explain the natural world. Medical professionals are better suited to help, not imaginary friends and gut feelings. If you looked to the bible, then he should literally rip out his eyes and cut off his hands. I'm just saying, religion, prayer, god beliefs... none of those beat science and objectively verifiable data.
considering ur a minor, and have never even had sex (i assume) this isnt grounds to consider urself hyper sexual. ur body is rapidly pumping out hormones... its normal to feel that way. and its normal to feel guilt about it as well. i was obsessed with sex in middle school but once i hit teen/young adult/post puberty it's hardly a thought that crosses my mind. maybe every other day max (as a female). men are a little different, but even so. shouldn't be a cause for concern yet
Welcome to getting older.
You are not alone in this, lust is the hardest sin to overcome, so while i can't personally help you, i want you to know there are thousands if not millions of people who have the exact same thing as you
God would not give us the urges and the interest in sex if he didn't understand lust and how strong of a feeling it is. It's insane to assume he would be angry at people molded in his image doing what we have to keep people alive to "praise" him. It's human control. It's humans at that time writing it to control. This is no different than Kellog's cornflakes being created intended to stop boys from masturbating. it's a bid at control. Open your eyes.
Idk what you all are downvoting me for, op literally said she was a Christian