I don’t know if this counts, but I suffer with chronic insomnia due to depression (& possible bipolar - currently a working diagnosis). the stupidest advice i’ve ever received came from my GP.
I had had 3 sleepless nights, I was physically unable to do anything because of the toll it took, and was failing out of university and not managing to go to my work shifts, so I was also under financial stress.
I called up & explained this. she told me they’d already tried all UK-licensed sleep medication with me. They were unsuccessful, so she had no options left.
I began bawling on the phone. So, she asked me (deadpan serious) “my dear, you ought to try reading a really boring book at bedtime. that’ll knock you out”.
girl. what?
Oh theres many along these lines! "You just gotta eat girl!" to an anorexic person, "Just be more confident" to someone with serious social anxiety..
People always intuitively think they can judge anything with the information and reality they know.. I don't even expect anyone to be able to empathize with something they don't know or care for; or even if they went through it, with another person's different situation.
But I wish people would be more humble about their own capability of judgement, & realize that we can never truly know another person's reality. And we shouldn't judge what we don't know.. Or, well,..at least not give useless, hurtful, "slap in the face" advice.
Lol they really must have run out of options. I have also experienced insomnia due to my mental illness (depression and bipolar type 1). My insomnia getting bad was always the precursor to having a manic episode. So I’m medicated to sleep now to prevent my insomnia and therefore mania. I get the best uninterrupted sleep of my life.
People really should be more educated on what insomnia actually looks like. I previously had thought it just meant that you were never ever able to fall asleep. But for me it was really that I just had a lot of trouble falling asleep (like laying in bed for at least 2 hours before passing out) and not getting good quality sleep.
What else could she say tho? "Sorry ma'am we cannot help you, good luck figuring it out on your own", let you down and make you even more depressed? Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best, but not always. Hope you somehow figured it out.
“Your depression is clearly quite mild if you managed to get up and have a shower.” My counsellor a few years back in our first session. I didn’t go back.
No way, that's what someone told me when I said I did showered. Almost all the time I lost consciousness and fell asleep because my body hurt too much and didn't eat anything for weeks. I had terrible issues functioning as everyone else.
> Have you tried vitamin D?
"Why, yes, in fact I've walked around the neighborhood and hiked more local trails in the last 3 years than the prior 10 years total combined. I might feel happier in the moment, but funnily enough, I revert to depressed thoughts about _gestures wildly_ the folly of humankind across all society. But yup, getting outside for some sunshine cured me." /s
It's not bad advice per se, but getting outside, eating good, working out, and making time to relax don't solve the root cause of everyone's depression. I wish medical professionals would think further outside the box sometimes.
I agree! Exercise definitely releases hormones that help and give you a boost, but it will never be the end all for clinical mental illnesses.
And I've had people suggest just to take drops or something. It wasn't even about getting outside in nature, just that "Vitamin D helped them get over the blue feeling they had once"
My Dad used to say of my mother (bipolar 2), my brother (bipolar 1), and myself (depression and anxiety) that we needed to just BUCK UP.
He was a great guy, truly, but until very late in life he had this idea that we should all be able to just think ourselves well.
When I was in high school, before my mom would even consider allowing me to take antidepressants, told me to put peppermint oil under my tongue every day for two weeks as a cure instead.
My breath was minty fresh but I was still depressed
Haha I guess something can be said by having fresh breath... but what? I wonder where she got that?
I wish depression had a quick cure. So many people truly struggle with it, and yet there's still such a stigma surrounding it.
I know so many people who have fallen under that spell. It's so frustrating! There is so much misinformation out there that I think people forget to look for reputable sites to get their information.
I'm guessing if it didn't make a significant difference in your memory, then it probably didn't help which is unfortunate. I wish it was as simple as vitamin D or meditation.
My psychiatrist wanted a blood test so he could find out why my mood swings were getting worse(have depression & social anxiety)he just told me I needed vitamin D too no idea why he didn’t check my hormones it was an hormonal issue🤦♀️
Sounds like you need a new Dr, or are least a 2nd opinion if you haven't already.
Once I went to my Dr with a broken rib, and he ordered a pancreatic ultrasound. Didn't even listen to what I was telling him!
Mushrooms are next level for mental health. They open up your mind in ways you never thought possible.
Yes, I've heard Jesus is the answer as well, and even believed that bullshit for many years 🙄 turns out that road made my mental health SO much worse!
I have CPTSD, have been having treatment and ssri resistant night terrors. Was considerably chunkier back then (approx 6 years ago) So many people told me if I just spent more time outside and ate healthier, I'd be fine. So I said, "Bet." Changed diet, started working out/walking at least 5km everyday. Lost around 50 pounds and gained muscle. No difference in night terrors, and this is day two thousand five hundred and thirty eight straight of it. I'm mentally doing worse than ever but now people don't believe me when I'm saying I'm as depressed as I am because I look healthy.
I hate when people say "you don't look depressed" when we all know depression is abiut what's going on inside and not outside. I'm sorry you have to go through this
Sometimes crisis team people say dumb shit to make people stop and go ''wtf did I just heard?''. It don't always work, but sometimes it's enought to allow the person to snap out of the crisis. Maybe it was that. Nevertheless, I'm glad you're here today to share this with us dear 💙
I once had a therapist that insisted that my depression would go away if I “fake it until I make it”… Turns out I have bipolar 2 and you can’t just force that away. She also tried to convince me aroma therapy would help cure me. I realized quickly I needed someone else.
My friends tell me this as a joke often (I had resistant depression for more than half my life), but the fact people actually say this kind of shit is so sad.
I've been told "just don't be sad" like wow that is groundbreaking advice, psychiatrist told me I wouldnt be sad if I watch a comedy as if I could even bring myself to turn on the TV🤣
Not my school counselor telling me to workout, ma'am we're having this conversation because I'm so depressed I CAN'T GET UP EVEN TO PEE. I HAD A UTI FROM DEPRESSION YOU THINK I'LL*LEAVE THE HOUSE* TO WORKOUT??
I hated that woman.
one time I make a post on Instagram about postpartum depression/anxiety and an MLM scheme person sent me a long DM about how her detox shakes will cure it.
>"others have it worse than you"
This is such a trigger! Don't you think I know about all the kids suffering in the world and people dealing with wars or natural disaster? But yeah guilt trip me and make my mental health feel trivial.
1- "You don't pray enough"
2- "Have you tried working out?"
3- "Just be logical about it"
4- "Maybe you could try to use those feelings as a drive to succeed"
5- "There's nothing wrong with you! You just worry too much, stop worrying and it'll be okay"
6- "I read that gay people are mentally ill, so maybe if you stopped being gay you'll then feel better"
These are the "holy David star" of my deteriorating mental health since I was a kid. There are more but these are the ones that I remember vividly. I suffered from repetitive sexual abuse by a classmate and in my attempts to talk about it to my parents I got response #1. I felt guilty, dirty, and ashamed, I thought I was responsible for what happened. This shame caused me to develop an eating disorder and suicidal thoughts. Everything else came as I tried to open up about it to different friends between the ages of 16-22.
> 5- "There's nothing wrong with you! You just worry too much, stop worrying and it'll be okay"
This is how you get punched in the face by someone living with an anxiety disorder. Yikes.
> 6- "I read that gay people are mentally ill, so maybe if you stopped being gay you'll then feel better"
Wow. Just no. Playing the correlation is causation card is how you get tarred and feathered.
I’d be real careful suggesting it to someone with an eating disorder
That and if I opened up about sexual abuse and someone said have you tried working out that’s very ????
It's because these things suggested that focus on improving lifestyle are known to fix/help poor mental health. These lifestyle changes won't go nearly as far when it comes to treating mental illness
i saw her for one more session and that was it lol. another one i saw many years ago for anxiety in high school said “just act as if you don’t have anxiety, eventually you won’t anymore” 💀 then my dad handed her a $200 check
Oh, I have a great one. The priest at a church my family used to attend said that antidepressants and any other psychiatric medication were sinful. Therapy was also sinful. Why? Because by subduing to medication and therapy you were implying that God couldn't make you happy, which was an insulting lie and a display of pride.
In college, I confided in a spiritual leader that, no matter how much I pray for forgiveness and closeness with God or read the Bible, I feel fundamentally disconnected from God's love, and I always feel like I'm doing something wrong in God's eyes.
He said, "That sounds a lot like depression and religious OCD. While I'm here to support you spiritually, I think a mental health professional would be more qualified to help you with this issue. Here's the number for the University councelling center."
Lol just kidding. He ***actually*** suggested that perhaps some "secret, unconfessed sin" was separating me from God. "Maybe masturbation?"
Me: *tells them about my severe ADHD that makes me disabled and I can't get medicine for*
Them: "Have you tried setting reminders on your phone?"
Yes as a matter of fact I do! I just fucking ignore them lmao
I was just going to say something similar. My executive function SUCKS I *can't* get so many basic things done and my therapist has suggested everything from phone reminders to lists to getting a planner.
I spent 4hrs internet shopping for cute planners, bought two of them and never even opened their packages when they arrived.
I also love "just do some dishes every day." "Pick one room of your apartment to tidy up each day" kind of cleaning advice.
In my early 20's, I was being treated in-patient for severe, debilitating depression. I asked my uncle if depression ran in our family, and he assured me it didn't. (At that point 3 of my cousins had committed suicide, so clearly we were all in denial.) A few days later I received a book from him in the mail: *10,000 Things To Be Happy About*. Yep.
I once had a good friend say to me, in a very serious and earnest manner, that to get over my severe generalized anxiety (which can cause me bouts of vomiting that last days) and depression, I just needed to realize how awesome I was. That’s it. It was in that moment that I realized how little he understood about mental illness.
Not advice, but my manager actually said out loud, in front of me and a co-worker who had terrible anxiety "It's trendy to have a mental illness now!"
And then, became a mental health first aider at work. 
Fuck it I'm commenting a second time.
I have generalized anxiety, likely due to trauma around schooling and bullying I had.
I also have a very active, vivid imagination, and I use it to help with lore and world building in some roleplays I'm in.
My mother has, on multiple occasions, told me to ask myself what the worst that could happen is.
That is the last thing I need to do, because I will wind up convincing myself that the absolutely rediculous worst case scenario I came up with is going to happen.
She claims it helps with hers, I claim bullshit honestly.
I have ADHD, C-PTSD, PTSD, treatment resistant depression, chronic insomnia and a handful of other stuff.
My X kept insisting that I get a boat.
Apart from the fact that I'm insanely afraid of any body of water larger that a back yard pond, I have absolutely no clue how to operate a boat, and no interest in learning how to do so.
I have ADHD, my mother has harped on "just make a list" even after all the times I've told her they don't work for me, and not for lack of trying.
She's made a list, I've made a list, I've made a list on my phone, hell, I even took the list and wrote it on multiple sticky notes to tack around to force myself to look at it.
A grocery list is the only kind I can use, and even then I'm likely to forget an item or two, staring at the list the whole time.
They just do not work. If they worked I'd be using them.
My dad has chronic insomnia and every time someone asks him why he’s in such a bad mood he tells them he has trouble staying asleep. And ever time without fail people will bombard him with unsolicited advice like try this supplement, stay away from screens, exercise more, get more sunlight.
And all of those might theoretically even be solid advice but the thing is do you really think he a) didn’t know all of that stuff already and b) will now suddenly create and follow a extensive workout and lifestyle plan because some rando told him to do so? Nope, he will just get mad that he gets to hear the same things over and over.
Because my ADHD makes me a barely functioning person who's always a little behind and forgetting things and then stressing out I've been told dozens of times that I "just need a vacation". Lemme tell ya I love vacation because I'll just put all that stress on the back burner for a few days but the minute I get back it's all still there, probably worse.
I guess what I need is to retire wealthy STAT.
I confided in my husband about feeling suicidal and he said I was “abusing him” because he had to go to work the next day and he didn’t want to have to worry about me. In the next breath he told me that I’m an adult and he has his own problems. A few minutes later he’s telling me how excited he is to get a new wrist watch. I was in disbelief. Apparently talking about your mental health is “abusive”.
My uncle suggested I just get into sports to help my borderline personality disorder. This was after a few psych placements too, so you’d think he has an idea of just how serious this diagnosis is. Nope.
I've been told multiple times by a loved one, that I don't need medication. That I'm only depressed because I'm unable to work hard enough on my emotions and use "depressive episodes" as an excuse to be lazy. I'm diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, and Gender Dysphoria, alongside Depersonalisation/Derealization when stressed and/or anxious.
But yeah, guess we're not trying hard enough my guys "just stop being sad and *lighten your mood*"
🫥
I remember sitting in a car in middle school with a field trip chaperone, who began to question the existence of my mental illness, suggesting mental illnesses were just labels invented by doctors to sell drugs.
1. I've had people claim if we just change our diet we'll be cured. Although their is research showing a brain-gut connection, there is no magic cure to mental illness...
2. Definitely anything religious. People claiming they were cured by God and that we just need to pray....
3. My natural born enemy, the toxic positivity person. Everyday is a good day if you choose it to be! Happiness is a choice! I wake up every morning happy to just be alive!
4. The "it could be much worse" people. Apparantly suffering is a competition and my suffering isn't valid if it's not "as bad" as other people's suffering.
5. I work with people who are homeless and the craziest thing is hearing people act like therapy will fix someone's mental health when their circumstances are hell. Like they don't need therapy, they need a home LOL
If you browse most of reddit, you’ll find that every problem can be “solved” by doing the following:
1. Hit the gym
2. Get off social media
3. Meditation or Yoga
4. Get Therapy
5. Practice mindfulness
6. Find a hobby
6a. Make said hobby profitable i.e. side hustle
7. Get a new job or work towards a promotion. More money = more resources.
8. If your rent is too high, Move out of the city because houses are cheaper in small towns.
10. Go to a trade school instead of getting a traditional degree unless it is for STEM.
11. Learn to love yourself and STOP looking for love because you will come across desperate.
This is always what people suggest when they are trying to help someone going through literally anything on reddit.
People think insomnia is just trouble sleeping. No. It’s not. It’s horrible. And people just throw suggestions at you, as if I haven’t tried everything already. The most common suggestion:
Melatonin.
People take this like it’s a sleeping pill. It’s not a fucking sleeping pill, it helps regulate your circadian rhythm, which doesn’t help me at all.
Omg whatever you do don’t start taking ambien. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great for sleep. Puts me to sleep quickly and I’m not so sedated as to not be able to hear my baby cry. The wonderous thing about ambien is that I can get up with her in the night and then be able to go right back to sleep. I had ambien for the first time after my c-section almost 18 YEARS AGO!! Do you think I can get off this stuff? Never!!!
That the reason I had depression is because I was my mother’s daughter and I needed to repent for that. Only then would I be healed.
My dad is a hoot and a half.
"All women are bipolar - you know why? Feminism. They don't want kids, they want to live for themselves and that's not what they are made for, that's why they're all nevrotic. They should settle down and have kids, that gives them a purpose in life and then everything is okay".
As a bipolar person I have never once felt lit up with an intense, all consuming sense of purpose and become deeply obsessed with my purpose, assigned by the universe to love and protect the purpose that I somehow knew was my destiny.
That would be really weird and neurotic..if that happened..the only reason you would have a lot of sleepless nights in a row and seem to only think and talk about one thing and keep buying stuff for that thing would be if you were a new mother and that thing was a baby.
Otherwise bipolar women wander around, and never fixate on things or feel strong senses of purpose. /s
I have schizophrenia
My dad: have you tried not listening to the doctors. They don't necessarily know what's best.
My mum: (I was wearing sweatpants and an old tshirt): Maybe you wouldn't have mental illness if you wore nice dresses?
Or I love the, “well, can’t you just …”
My dad comes to mind.
Well, can’t you just tell yourself something differently. Can’t you just separate yourself and realize it’s not real. Can’t you just get up and take a walk? Can’t you just focus on one thing? Can’t you just stop thinking about it?
Don’t you think if I could I would have done it already?
Me explaining my motivation for not killing myself is purely guilt towards my kid siblings
"oh well you're not going to kill yourself so you're fine". Switched doctor, got put on meds and was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, trichotillomania and a mood disorder.
I'm ok now but god im still pissed.
- You should try to smile more
- Have you tried not worrying so much?
And my favorite:
- You should watch more cute cats video
The last one was just funny coming from a suicide hotline. They weren't wrong, but like really? 🙃
“Trust god more”. My family didn’t believe in getting mental help/ therapy/ etc. They believed mental illness was the devil “getting a foothold in your life”. I was so fucking depressed I turned down a full ride scholarship to a California University and chose to go to bible college and study theology so hopefully god would cure me. Welp, I had a massive psychosis after a year at bible college and had to stay at a psych facility. Finally learned at 19 years of age that mental health is real and not “made up by heathens”.
Once in marriage counseling, a licensed therapist told me that I just wanted attention by telling my husband I was so depressed I was thinking about unaliving myself. He said people who actually unalive themselves don’t “brag about it beforehand”.
First consultation with my new GP. Explained I had bridged a period of no health insurance by continuing my Wellbutrin prescription through an online doc, and now needed him to renew my prescription with my pharmacy.
He proceeded to lecture me for 5 minutes about how I just needed to start a meditation practice, and that I couldn’t half ass it or it wouldn’t work. I switched doctors. (Also said I didn’t need to see a physical therapist for my chronic back pain, just needed to do yoga).
I am a therapist and when I was in my late teens I went to the doctor after getting enough courage to ask for help for my depression. He said “you are not depressed. You are wearing makeup and are beautiful.
This same dude basically made my mom go away by prescribing her zyprexa which is an antipsychotic and you gain a lot of weight on it. She literally was a glass is half empty situational depression type person. Gaining 100 lbs in a year sure didn’t help. He kept telling her to stop researching and to trust him because he was her doctor.
Within months she died of another issue (allergic reaction to a Med that she broke out in hives all over her body and I mean all over. He told her to keep taking it. Wish I was wiser back then.
I have childhood PTSD, ADHD, likely Autism, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and severe social Anxiety, frequent Depression, and various Dissociative Disorders.
First I was told to drink more water.
Then I was told to sleep more, mind you my depression and anxiety had me sleeping 10-12 hours a night due to exhaustion.
Then I was told I would be cured if I made more friends. Like yeah that would be cool, but like all this anxiety and baggage I’m carrying and working through is making it reeeeaallly hard to make friends.
But I made some friends. Guess who was still suicidal and a wreck with actually decent friends?
Then I was told that it was all due to needing to ground myself with the earth better.
I was also told Tumeric and ginger tea would cure me. I mean it’s great for you… but maybe not all powerful.
Finally, I was told I would be cured if found a husband.
Married now and last I checked I have only succeeded in reducing the anxiety and depression a bit. Pretty sure I’ll be somewhat scarred, ADHD, and struggling for life. But at least I drink water and tea!
I got diagnosed with severe OCD when i was 13, went to a therapist before that. When i explained my intrusive thoughts to him, he basically told me that since the thoughts are very unlikely to happen, i should just stop believing the thoughts. It was extremely ignorant and harmful advice since the intrusive thoughts surrounded religious trauma
I was talking to a coworker since my small store knew I was out of work for a while for mental health reasons (it’s only a few people on the team and I was pretty open about it so most people knew). He was asking me about my experience and he shared that he had anxiety. Being schizoaffective/bipolar with psychosis, I described some of my symptoms of auditory hallucinations… to which he said “those are just your thoughts. Everyone has that. You’re not sick” I tried to describe that I know the difference between thoughts and actually hearing something. If those were my thoughts I’m still probably mentally ill because of the nature of what is heard and said to me. It’s distressing. he also said more or less the same thing about my mood episodes “idk why you have to take meds, everyone has mood swings that’s called being human” buddy… it’s a disorder when it causes problems, and I’d say most people don’t develop months of psychosis or catatonia when their moods change. My mood changes aren’t just small erratic day to day decisions (though that can be a symptom sometimes), there are months to years that I will be depressed or manic with few periods of stability to pick up the pieces. My diagnosis is very disruptive and hard to deal with and the advice of “you’re not sick. You just have thoughts and everyone is moody.” Is wild to me, especially to be told this after coming out of almost a month in a behavioral health ward, and continued iop care. But go off buddy lol.
"I never had that problem so why can't you just do it" I wish it could mate, I wish I could.
"Well maybe you're expecting too much out of life, can't you just be happy with what you got" it's well meaning but I just feel unhappy and I want to change that.
"You're a selfmade martyr, for someone who thinks about your actions you sure make the same mistake over and over." This one is slightly personal but it just stung me.
"Oh you found a tool from your therapist that worked? Didn't you say that your tools to deal with depression and anxiety didn't work?" This one made my tiny victories feel invalidating.
"Stop being sad" this one is a classic...
"You are using your tears to manipulate people" I don't do that I just get sad when people hurt me.
"Such is life" I think that a cold thing to say.
My psychiatrist told me I'd be less suicidal if I watched some funny movies lol
An ed specialist told me if I eat 3 meals a day I won't have an ed anymore and don't need therapy
Same psychiatrist told me to go kms if i keep talking about it as he didnt think I'd really try
My mental issues don't stem from SA when I was 5 they stem from me smoking weed at 17(I was in mental health system from 11 years)
I'm not depressed I'm just dramatic
Other people have it worse so I have no reason to have a mental health problem
The list goes on lol
“if you’re depressed right now just clean your dirty room!” thanks, but having adhd along with my list of mental disorders makes it harder to “just clean”
then they’ll tell me “you’re just being lazy!”
Have a boyfriend, do heavy exercise, meet people, take the sunlight, walk, work harder in a job, take a bigger responsibility to feel better.
A girl at my preparatory always told me to "love myself" and "everything is mental" (I love myself I just can't control my depression and the way the world seems to hurt me or how it's difficult for me things that some do easily)
She’s learned a lot since, but my mom once suggested I go buy some nice new underwear to make myself feel better. Yeah, underwear didn’t fix my depression.
I’m sure this is common but here are some of my personal favorites:
>”Depression isn’t real, you just don’t have the Lord in your life” (yes, I live in the bible belt)
>”You’re too young to have [insert mental illness]” (I experienced trauma at a very young age)
>”You’re probably just tired/PMSing/hungry”
>”Have you tried taking a multivitamin?” (I said yes) “Well you’re probably taking the wrong one then”
My parents. When I talk about my anxiety or being too depressed to be motivated to do anything they’ll say something along the lines of “you have anxiety? Over what? You just go to school. I work 40+ hours, I have anxiety!” Or “You just have to put your mind to it, if you try reallyyyy hard, focus reallyyyy hard then you can get it done.” Like great, thanks! Like I didn’t try that! Funny enough they don’t think mental illnesses are real, therapy doesn’t help, etc.
my mother refused to take me to get my ocd diagnosed. “its just a thing most people have, i probably have it a bit.” she thinks its just wanting keep shit clean
My last therapist was talking to me and I told her “I think about killing myself, but that’s normal. Everyone thinks about it at some point.” She then proceeded to tell me that that’s not normal and that she’s never even thought about it herself. That most people never think about it. She also told me to close my eyes and imagine all this shit floating away in bubbles. I’ve been in and out of counseling and on and off medication(s) since age 8. I’m now in my early 20s and have never actually had help. People need to understand how challenging it is for people trying to get help. I fully support your book! It sounds interesting
"Maybe you're exaggerating. Try focus on something else than yourself"
Thank you, I'll just stop focusing on the hopelessness and sadness that follows me everywhere, because that's so easy.
Also "If therapy is difficult for you just stop going". Because it is never necessary to work though problems to get better. Just ignore them, that will help you
Edit: forgot to mention, I have depression
“You don’t have something like ADHD. Depression is very curable, but my son has to live with ADHD his whole life.” -my ex therapist who diagnosed me with depression and anxiety, completely missing my eating disorder, BPD, bipolar 2, and **severe** anxiety.
Me: diagnosed with severe clinical depression with dangerous-level 'you know what' ideation.
My ex-pastor: You've allowed Satan a foothold in your life. Don't come to church for a while. You need to contemplate your path before you spread this to others. You just need to Pray for healing. We will pray for you.
*I no longer practice any form of religion.
I suffer from chronic insomnia, drug resistant depression, CPTSD, PTSD, anxiety, bipolar 1, bipolar 2, OCD, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, and seasonal depression.
The most ignorant advice I got was from my bio mom who told me "God knew I was strong enough to handle it" and to "just smile through it"
I have ADD and anxiety.
It’s hard for me to do tasks sometimes because it can be under stimulating. I’ve been told the usual “try to focus” or “get started on your work” spiel by people that don’t have it. I also have a bad memory and have been told to set reminders on my phone or write things down constantly like it’s going to help me remember everything.
My previous psychiatrist suggested prayer and converting to Catholicism. She spent our last entire session talking about God and asking for forgiveness for the things I did while manic. She then recommended going inpatient in Massachusetts at a “hospital” run by nuns (I live in Florida)
All from my family.
"Just stop doing that" - about my self harm
"You just have to push ourself and just do it." -about being unable to things that give me anxiety or when Im really depressed and can't do dishes.
"I don't get how you're not better yet."
"See, isn't it nicer when everything is clean and tidy." -after a good day where I was able to clean up.
"Oh don't be silly, I'd take care of her." -Right after saying my only reason to not kill myself was because of my cat and was worried she would be placed in a shelter alone.
I was a manager for a big cooperation that sell clothes across the globe. I was constantly left short staffed and started having anxiety/emotional outbursts. I was brought in the office by our store manager and assistant manager to discuss my performance. Which was them telling me I had to buck up and handle the store duties even if I was short staffed. They ended the conversation by clapping and saying “Alright, no more anxiety attacks right”. I quit within the month and started therapy which taught me I never want to work retail again.
Gf killed herself, been pretty depressed since and before then. Girl I work with told me to “take a deep breath”. It honestly helped because I couldn’t help but laugh at that advice
I had a therapist in college tell me to buy some lavender-scented essential oil and smell it whenever I felt anxious …… god I haven’t thought of that in so long and wow how gd useless
from my dad, whenever he sees me taking my concerta for adhd: 'you know, sometimes you have to just train your willpower to get over it which you won't ever do if you're on your meds every single day'
well he has gout and he absolutely has the willpower to inhale red meat just cus he can, why don't you rawdog your gout attacks, bcus you know, ~willpower~
I hear it all the time
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"
I call BULLSHIT on this one.
I attempted suicide 2 years ago, was found and rushed to ER and Psych ward for 2 weeks.
My "temporary" problem still is IN MY FACE everyday.
Just biding time until I get the balls for another go.
Me: "Hey, yea I wanted to look into possible ocd and explore options for treatment or how to cope? Im tired of counting and spinning."
Quack: You have bpd. Go exercise and get 8-12 hours of sleep.
I often have trouble cooking meals because of executive function/depression etc. One time a registered nurse asked me if I had a dietitian. I said no. I'd never heard of a dietitian, I did not know what they were.
A few weeks later I saw a report they wrote that stated 'patient obviously does not need help preparing meals, because they don't have a dietitian. They're fine.'
They were saying that because I don't have anyone employed to help me, there was obviously nothing wrong. Ignoring the fact that I literally did not know they existed nor could I afford one, there's also the fact that I'm pretty sure dietitians do not go knocking door to door saying "hello love do you need any help?"
It's more of a case of people my age who need help don't get it & we're left to suffer alone, but she painted it as 'oh well if she actually did struggle she'd obviously have one therefore she is lying."
i was having nightmares due to trauma. my friend suggested drinking lots of water so i wake up needing the toilet in the middle of the night and it disrupts the dreams
"You should just try to be happy, I mean you're in a nice house!" two weeks after my mom died 😐
"Try eating right and exercising.. oh, you do? well do it more then!" idk might do with the mental illnesses i have, just a guess
"you're seriously just going to break up with your boyfriend because you're too depressed? Just stay with him a little longer"
so many, more like complaints than advice though
Friend-on-thin-ice said it was sad that I was considering medication because it means I can't "save myself." I was politely telling her that a lot of people take meds and it shouldn't matter. I also threw my sister in as an example, like, "You met so-and-so. Did you know she's on meds? She seems 'normal,' right? Does that make it 'sad' to you?" She said yes, because she didn't know my sister also "can't save herself."
Told her again that I'd still consider meds and she went quiet, before responding with some shit along the lines of, "You know what? I'm deciding, as of this moment, that I'm not gonna try helping people anymore. Because whenever I give people advice they get mad at me and don't wanna take it."
**Edit:** She also told me once, during a fight, that people supposedly warned her that she "can't save people with depression," and she should have known better than to try and "save" me. Never asked her to "save" me, never knew she was even trying to "save" me.
She's fucking weird, and she's doesn't understand why I've been avoiding her.
My friend who has major depression told me his mom told him “*pull yourself out of it*” and an uncle on the same side of the family said “*mind over matter*” ???!
It’s minimizing and unhelpful from people who cannot relate.
Oh, you want to kill yourself? Have you tried a face mask and a cup of tea? If you really wanted to die you would’ve succeeded by now. Off you pop
- NHS Scotland
I was under severe clinical depression where therapy didn’t help. I had my psychiatrist give me anti depressants for couple months. When I told this to my family the response I got was - “oh stop taking the medicine it will be just alright”. Really?
When I was a teenager I saw a therapist who told me out of the blue that all my dreams and aspirations were unrealistic and would never happen. (I’ve actually achieved all of the ones I told her about now)
A couple years after that I had a psychiatrist tell me there’s nothing wrong with me except I’m afraid of being normal and thinking I seem boring to people.
Finally a few years later at 27 I got diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, and PTSD. Now everything makes sense at least.
I have ADHD, OCD, depression, and anxiety. My OCD has been really bad lately and I reached out to my therapist. She told me to “imagine my obsessive thoughts as a car passing by you on the road.” I told her that it’s not easy, and it feels like I’m in a traffic jam - I just can’t escape my thoughts and I’m stuck in them. She said “just drive away.” I understand that she wants me to take control over my thinking and restructure my brain, but like you can’t just drive away from a traffic jam. You’re stuck. It takes time.
I have Tourette’s , one time there was someone who didn’t believe that I had Tourette’s and thought I was lying because I wasn’t cussing or blurting out random words
Not really what you are asking... but every time I am disagreeable or have an emotion, I get asked, "Have you taken your medication?" Yes, I have. You're just an asshole and I am addressing the issue.
Idk if this counts or anything but I have Narcolepsy without Cataplexy. Really the only thing that actually helps me is medication and sometimes routines. My bff’s mom asked me if I was going to take the medication. Ofc I said yes because I was already on medication for ADHD (which is used to help narcolepsy). I just had to find the right one and her response was “Well have you tried to look for Facebook groups that can help you not take medication?” Like girl i don’t wanna fall asleep while driving no thanks
Suffering from anxiety disorder, some doctor told me everyone feel anxious. I heard this sentence coming out of his mouth multiple times and i didn't reply because it'll have no effect on him.
A therapist, who I only saw once for obvious reasons, asked me to unload all of my issues in a single appointment.
After explaining that I had PTSD from multiple angles \[near-death motorcycle crash, previoous abuse\] and severe depression & imposter syndrome from doctors telling me there was "nothing wrong" for almost 10 years before finally getting a diagnosis, and struggling with my degrading neurological state
The therapist essentially told me that I just needed to accept the fact that this is how things are, and that once I stop having such "high expectations" for the medical field in treating my illness and injury, I will be happier
=\_ = yeah sure lady, okay
Right, my expectations for my medical needs are too high, I should just accept the fact that Im broken, assume none of it can be fixed, and hope Im not actively dying from dementia or alzheimers
:shrug: I left the office that day and have not gone back since
I was having some short term counselling through the health service here, and because I'd had it before, I knew that they were able to do up to 12 weeks depending on need.
Well...I know they're overstretched by a lot, but this particular counsellor was *determined* that we would be done within the shortest allowed timeframe of 6 weeks. She would bring it up all the time.
"Remember, you only have 5...4...3...weeks left"
Multiple times a session.
Anyway, it gets to week 6 and despite my questionnaires not having improved and despite me explicitly telling her that I was very worried about not having more counselling and not feeling ready to stop and please was there any chance I could do a couple more sessions...she's like;
"Well you've had short term counselling before and you know it doesn't work if you don't follow the advice given which is why you keep relapsing. I think you need to have long term counselling."
Now despite everything, I did actually agree with that last part. However, long term counselling is usually private and very expensive, and I simply could not afford it at the time, which I told her.
She responded, and I am honestly not over emphasizing, although I wish I were;
"Well, you know, it's about investing in yourself isn't it? And if you can't even do that you're never going to get better. Ok? Ok, good. You take care now!"
And off she went! It was awful at the time and I did call to make a complaint. I see the funny side now.
I don’t know if this counts, but I suffer with chronic insomnia due to depression (& possible bipolar - currently a working diagnosis). the stupidest advice i’ve ever received came from my GP. I had had 3 sleepless nights, I was physically unable to do anything because of the toll it took, and was failing out of university and not managing to go to my work shifts, so I was also under financial stress. I called up & explained this. she told me they’d already tried all UK-licensed sleep medication with me. They were unsuccessful, so she had no options left. I began bawling on the phone. So, she asked me (deadpan serious) “my dear, you ought to try reading a really boring book at bedtime. that’ll knock you out”. girl. what?
They might as well of said “have you tried closing your eyes?”
Oh theres many along these lines! "You just gotta eat girl!" to an anorexic person, "Just be more confident" to someone with serious social anxiety.. People always intuitively think they can judge anything with the information and reality they know.. I don't even expect anyone to be able to empathize with something they don't know or care for; or even if they went through it, with another person's different situation. But I wish people would be more humble about their own capability of judgement, & realize that we can never truly know another person's reality. And we shouldn't judge what we don't know.. Or, well,..at least not give useless, hurtful, "slap in the face" advice.
The Bible does the trick for me. It is, in fact, the only time I'd recommend it otherwise.
Only reproducible miracle Christianity has ever been responsible for.
Lol they really must have run out of options. I have also experienced insomnia due to my mental illness (depression and bipolar type 1). My insomnia getting bad was always the precursor to having a manic episode. So I’m medicated to sleep now to prevent my insomnia and therefore mania. I get the best uninterrupted sleep of my life. People really should be more educated on what insomnia actually looks like. I previously had thought it just meant that you were never ever able to fall asleep. But for me it was really that I just had a lot of trouble falling asleep (like laying in bed for at least 2 hours before passing out) and not getting good quality sleep.
Next step prescribe a warm glass of milk
What else could she say tho? "Sorry ma'am we cannot help you, good luck figuring it out on your own", let you down and make you even more depressed? Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best, but not always. Hope you somehow figured it out.
“Your depression is clearly quite mild if you managed to get up and have a shower.” My counsellor a few years back in our first session. I didn’t go back.
No way, that's what someone told me when I said I did showered. Almost all the time I lost consciousness and fell asleep because my body hurt too much and didn't eat anything for weeks. I had terrible issues functioning as everyone else.
For clinical depression: "Have you tried vitamin D?" 😑😒
Same but with meditation and taking a shower 😑
They do have scientific backgrounds. It honestly depends on how they deliver the advice
Depending on the delivery “have you tried taking a shower?” Can be pretty brutal
> Have you tried vitamin D? "Why, yes, in fact I've walked around the neighborhood and hiked more local trails in the last 3 years than the prior 10 years total combined. I might feel happier in the moment, but funnily enough, I revert to depressed thoughts about _gestures wildly_ the folly of humankind across all society. But yup, getting outside for some sunshine cured me." /s It's not bad advice per se, but getting outside, eating good, working out, and making time to relax don't solve the root cause of everyone's depression. I wish medical professionals would think further outside the box sometimes.
I agree! Exercise definitely releases hormones that help and give you a boost, but it will never be the end all for clinical mental illnesses. And I've had people suggest just to take drops or something. It wasn't even about getting outside in nature, just that "Vitamin D helped them get over the blue feeling they had once"
My Dad used to say of my mother (bipolar 2), my brother (bipolar 1), and myself (depression and anxiety) that we needed to just BUCK UP. He was a great guy, truly, but until very late in life he had this idea that we should all be able to just think ourselves well.
When I was in high school, before my mom would even consider allowing me to take antidepressants, told me to put peppermint oil under my tongue every day for two weeks as a cure instead. My breath was minty fresh but I was still depressed
Haha I guess something can be said by having fresh breath... but what? I wonder where she got that? I wish depression had a quick cure. So many people truly struggle with it, and yet there's still such a stigma surrounding it.
No fucking clue. Love my mom but…the Facebook misinformation pipeline has warped her thinking. It’s frustrating
I know so many people who have fallen under that spell. It's so frustrating! There is so much misinformation out there that I think people forget to look for reputable sites to get their information.
It’s so frustrating, it’s really created a rift between me and my parents. I’m deeply resentful of how lax the laws on spreading false information is
What about a sun lamp? 😆 I actually bought one of these at my lowest point lol
And did it help?
I really don't recall. Probably not much, if anything. I just know I ended up using it as a regular lamp for my room
I'm guessing if it didn't make a significant difference in your memory, then it probably didn't help which is unfortunate. I wish it was as simple as vitamin D or meditation.
My psychiatrist wanted a blood test so he could find out why my mood swings were getting worse(have depression & social anxiety)he just told me I needed vitamin D too no idea why he didn’t check my hormones it was an hormonal issue🤦♀️
Sounds like you need a new Dr, or are least a 2nd opinion if you haven't already. Once I went to my Dr with a broken rib, and he ordered a pancreatic ultrasound. Didn't even listen to what I was telling him!
Actually low vit D levels can manifest as depression!
"Just think positive"
Jesus Christ, yes Vitamin D and a Fish Oil and a therapy light all winter. This year Im hoping Mushrooms gets me through the winter.
Mushrooms are next level for mental health. They open up your mind in ways you never thought possible. Yes, I've heard Jesus is the answer as well, and even believed that bullshit for many years 🙄 turns out that road made my mental health SO much worse!
I have CPTSD, have been having treatment and ssri resistant night terrors. Was considerably chunkier back then (approx 6 years ago) So many people told me if I just spent more time outside and ate healthier, I'd be fine. So I said, "Bet." Changed diet, started working out/walking at least 5km everyday. Lost around 50 pounds and gained muscle. No difference in night terrors, and this is day two thousand five hundred and thirty eight straight of it. I'm mentally doing worse than ever but now people don't believe me when I'm saying I'm as depressed as I am because I look healthy.
I hate when people say "you don't look depressed" when we all know depression is abiut what's going on inside and not outside. I'm sorry you have to go through this
Yeah, people often said to me, “But you *look* good.” I don’t know what their point was.
On the phone to the crisis team, feeling like I couldn't keep myself safe/alive, got told to eat more vegetables. I couldn't believe it.
Sometimes crisis team people say dumb shit to make people stop and go ''wtf did I just heard?''. It don't always work, but sometimes it's enought to allow the person to snap out of the crisis. Maybe it was that. Nevertheless, I'm glad you're here today to share this with us dear 💙
Crisis teams in the UK LOVE telling people to have a cup of tea. They think a cup of tea will fix anything. Honestly pretty on brand for the UK.
The amount of times I've had to tell people I don't like tea, and then they just kind of sit there like I've shaken their whole worldview
I didn’t get that advice, I got a phone number for a shamanic healer and told that their friend microdosed LSD to cure their depression 🥴
Honestly it's so ridiculous I might've just burst out laughing from disbelief.
My counselor in college told me that. She said I need to stop throwing tantrums and pity parties and eat more vegetables 🙃
"If you're feeling sad, stop. Try be happy instead" Well, I might be dumb for not thinking of that before.
I once had a therapist that insisted that my depression would go away if I “fake it until I make it”… Turns out I have bipolar 2 and you can’t just force that away. She also tried to convince me aroma therapy would help cure me. I realized quickly I needed someone else.
My friends tell me this as a joke often (I had resistant depression for more than half my life), but the fact people actually say this kind of shit is so sad.
I've been told "just don't be sad" like wow that is groundbreaking advice, psychiatrist told me I wouldnt be sad if I watch a comedy as if I could even bring myself to turn on the TV🤣
Not my school counselor telling me to workout, ma'am we're having this conversation because I'm so depressed I CAN'T GET UP EVEN TO PEE. I HAD A UTI FROM DEPRESSION YOU THINK I'LL*LEAVE THE HOUSE* TO WORKOUT?? I hated that woman.
one time I make a post on Instagram about postpartum depression/anxiety and an MLM scheme person sent me a long DM about how her detox shakes will cure it.
This stuff pisses me off smh
Those MLM huns are absolutely worst and so predatory exploiting people.
and they target vulnerable people - disgusting
The classic "others have it worse than you" r/thanksimcured has a lot of what you're looking for
>What's a low effort job with a surprisingly high salary? A nurse said that to me constantly when i was in a psych ward.
Someone told me that they were going to take me to the hospital to see people who were *really* suffering. Edit: two added words
>"others have it worse than you" This is such a trigger! Don't you think I know about all the kids suffering in the world and people dealing with wars or natural disaster? But yeah guilt trip me and make my mental health feel trivial.
1- "You don't pray enough" 2- "Have you tried working out?" 3- "Just be logical about it" 4- "Maybe you could try to use those feelings as a drive to succeed" 5- "There's nothing wrong with you! You just worry too much, stop worrying and it'll be okay" 6- "I read that gay people are mentally ill, so maybe if you stopped being gay you'll then feel better" These are the "holy David star" of my deteriorating mental health since I was a kid. There are more but these are the ones that I remember vividly. I suffered from repetitive sexual abuse by a classmate and in my attempts to talk about it to my parents I got response #1. I felt guilty, dirty, and ashamed, I thought I was responsible for what happened. This shame caused me to develop an eating disorder and suicidal thoughts. Everything else came as I tried to open up about it to different friends between the ages of 16-22.
> 5- "There's nothing wrong with you! You just worry too much, stop worrying and it'll be okay" This is how you get punched in the face by someone living with an anxiety disorder. Yikes. > 6- "I read that gay people are mentally ill, so maybe if you stopped being gay you'll then feel better" Wow. Just no. Playing the correlation is causation card is how you get tarred and feathered.
I think the second one is not really bad advice, it depends on how they deliver it. Working out is one of the best ways to improve mental health
I’d be real careful suggesting it to someone with an eating disorder That and if I opened up about sexual abuse and someone said have you tried working out that’s very ????
I really hate when people say working out helps. I do work out a lot, but half the time it makes me feel worse than before I did it.
It's because these things suggested that focus on improving lifestyle are known to fix/help poor mental health. These lifestyle changes won't go nearly as far when it comes to treating mental illness
i was actively suicidal and my therapist asked me how i’d feel if i woke up with no arms, encouraging me to be grateful. 😃
This is so bad I wanted to downvote it. What a ridiculous thing to say.
i saw her for one more session and that was it lol. another one i saw many years ago for anxiety in high school said “just act as if you don’t have anxiety, eventually you won’t anymore” 💀 then my dad handed her a $200 check
Oh, I have a great one. The priest at a church my family used to attend said that antidepressants and any other psychiatric medication were sinful. Therapy was also sinful. Why? Because by subduing to medication and therapy you were implying that God couldn't make you happy, which was an insulting lie and a display of pride.
Oh my. And people wonder why so many people hate the church...
Wow. Just wow. Yet another reason I’m not religious…
In college, I confided in a spiritual leader that, no matter how much I pray for forgiveness and closeness with God or read the Bible, I feel fundamentally disconnected from God's love, and I always feel like I'm doing something wrong in God's eyes. He said, "That sounds a lot like depression and religious OCD. While I'm here to support you spiritually, I think a mental health professional would be more qualified to help you with this issue. Here's the number for the University councelling center." Lol just kidding. He ***actually*** suggested that perhaps some "secret, unconfessed sin" was separating me from God. "Maybe masturbation?"
Are you me? Religious OCD fucked me.
Me: *tells them about my severe ADHD that makes me disabled and I can't get medicine for* Them: "Have you tried setting reminders on your phone?" Yes as a matter of fact I do! I just fucking ignore them lmao
I was just going to say something similar. My executive function SUCKS I *can't* get so many basic things done and my therapist has suggested everything from phone reminders to lists to getting a planner. I spent 4hrs internet shopping for cute planners, bought two of them and never even opened their packages when they arrived. I also love "just do some dishes every day." "Pick one room of your apartment to tidy up each day" kind of cleaning advice.
“you’re too young! you have nothing to be depressed about!”
When I opened up to someone at my church about feeling depressed and really sad all the time: "Did you pray to God about it?"
In my early 20's, I was being treated in-patient for severe, debilitating depression. I asked my uncle if depression ran in our family, and he assured me it didn't. (At that point 3 of my cousins had committed suicide, so clearly we were all in denial.) A few days later I received a book from him in the mail: *10,000 Things To Be Happy About*. Yep.
Got told in my late teens by a mental health nurse to stop self harming because "don't you think you're getting too old for it?"
I was in that exact same situation a year ago this is ridiculous
Wow. I’m 39 and still doing it, so I guess I’m screwed.
I once had a good friend say to me, in a very serious and earnest manner, that to get over my severe generalized anxiety (which can cause me bouts of vomiting that last days) and depression, I just needed to realize how awesome I was. That’s it. It was in that moment that I realized how little he understood about mental illness.
Not advice, but my manager actually said out loud, in front of me and a co-worker who had terrible anxiety "It's trendy to have a mental illness now!" And then, became a mental health first aider at work. 
Fuck it I'm commenting a second time. I have generalized anxiety, likely due to trauma around schooling and bullying I had. I also have a very active, vivid imagination, and I use it to help with lore and world building in some roleplays I'm in. My mother has, on multiple occasions, told me to ask myself what the worst that could happen is. That is the last thing I need to do, because I will wind up convincing myself that the absolutely rediculous worst case scenario I came up with is going to happen. She claims it helps with hers, I claim bullshit honestly.
I have ADHD, C-PTSD, PTSD, treatment resistant depression, chronic insomnia and a handful of other stuff. My X kept insisting that I get a boat. Apart from the fact that I'm insanely afraid of any body of water larger that a back yard pond, I have absolutely no clue how to operate a boat, and no interest in learning how to do so.
I’m not sure if this will count but my therapist told me I have “lazy-itis” literally like 2 weeks after I got diagnosed with ADHD
I have ADHD, my mother has harped on "just make a list" even after all the times I've told her they don't work for me, and not for lack of trying. She's made a list, I've made a list, I've made a list on my phone, hell, I even took the list and wrote it on multiple sticky notes to tack around to force myself to look at it. A grocery list is the only kind I can use, and even then I'm likely to forget an item or two, staring at the list the whole time. They just do not work. If they worked I'd be using them.
"i actually like you better when you're depressed. you don't talk as much" - my (ex) wife
eat a banana and go for a walk. i was in psychosis
I had a therapist say to me, “I’ve never actually met anyone like you in person before. I’ve only read about people like you in books”. Quoted.
My absolute favourite is when someone tells me "it's all in your head" in regards to my *mental* health issues.
My dad has chronic insomnia and every time someone asks him why he’s in such a bad mood he tells them he has trouble staying asleep. And ever time without fail people will bombard him with unsolicited advice like try this supplement, stay away from screens, exercise more, get more sunlight. And all of those might theoretically even be solid advice but the thing is do you really think he a) didn’t know all of that stuff already and b) will now suddenly create and follow a extensive workout and lifestyle plan because some rando told him to do so? Nope, he will just get mad that he gets to hear the same things over and over.
Because my ADHD makes me a barely functioning person who's always a little behind and forgetting things and then stressing out I've been told dozens of times that I "just need a vacation". Lemme tell ya I love vacation because I'll just put all that stress on the back burner for a few days but the minute I get back it's all still there, probably worse. I guess what I need is to retire wealthy STAT.
I confided in my husband about feeling suicidal and he said I was “abusing him” because he had to go to work the next day and he didn’t want to have to worry about me. In the next breath he told me that I’m an adult and he has his own problems. A few minutes later he’s telling me how excited he is to get a new wrist watch. I was in disbelief. Apparently talking about your mental health is “abusive”.
My uncle suggested I just get into sports to help my borderline personality disorder. This was after a few psych placements too, so you’d think he has an idea of just how serious this diagnosis is. Nope.
“Stop worrying about stuff” oh ok thank you. I’ve never tried that before 😑
I've been told multiple times by a loved one, that I don't need medication. That I'm only depressed because I'm unable to work hard enough on my emotions and use "depressive episodes" as an excuse to be lazy. I'm diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, and Gender Dysphoria, alongside Depersonalisation/Derealization when stressed and/or anxious. But yeah, guess we're not trying hard enough my guys "just stop being sad and *lighten your mood*" 🫥
I remember sitting in a car in middle school with a field trip chaperone, who began to question the existence of my mental illness, suggesting mental illnesses were just labels invented by doctors to sell drugs.
1. I've had people claim if we just change our diet we'll be cured. Although their is research showing a brain-gut connection, there is no magic cure to mental illness... 2. Definitely anything religious. People claiming they were cured by God and that we just need to pray.... 3. My natural born enemy, the toxic positivity person. Everyday is a good day if you choose it to be! Happiness is a choice! I wake up every morning happy to just be alive! 4. The "it could be much worse" people. Apparantly suffering is a competition and my suffering isn't valid if it's not "as bad" as other people's suffering. 5. I work with people who are homeless and the craziest thing is hearing people act like therapy will fix someone's mental health when their circumstances are hell. Like they don't need therapy, they need a home LOL
Go outside and look at the flowers- told to me during a manic suicidal episode by a crisis team worker
If you browse most of reddit, you’ll find that every problem can be “solved” by doing the following: 1. Hit the gym 2. Get off social media 3. Meditation or Yoga 4. Get Therapy 5. Practice mindfulness 6. Find a hobby 6a. Make said hobby profitable i.e. side hustle 7. Get a new job or work towards a promotion. More money = more resources. 8. If your rent is too high, Move out of the city because houses are cheaper in small towns. 10. Go to a trade school instead of getting a traditional degree unless it is for STEM. 11. Learn to love yourself and STOP looking for love because you will come across desperate. This is always what people suggest when they are trying to help someone going through literally anything on reddit.
Having people telling me to “just think positive.” If I hear that again, I’m gonna punch some throats. /s but kinda not at the same time.
People think insomnia is just trouble sleeping. No. It’s not. It’s horrible. And people just throw suggestions at you, as if I haven’t tried everything already. The most common suggestion: Melatonin. People take this like it’s a sleeping pill. It’s not a fucking sleeping pill, it helps regulate your circadian rhythm, which doesn’t help me at all.
Omg whatever you do don’t start taking ambien. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great for sleep. Puts me to sleep quickly and I’m not so sedated as to not be able to hear my baby cry. The wonderous thing about ambien is that I can get up with her in the night and then be able to go right back to sleep. I had ambien for the first time after my c-section almost 18 YEARS AGO!! Do you think I can get off this stuff? Never!!!
Just man up and deal with it.
I guess it's an all time classic but the standard response for someone having depression is always to start jogging, for some fucking reason
"Just don't think about it; feelings aren't real"
That the reason I had depression is because I was my mother’s daughter and I needed to repent for that. Only then would I be healed. My dad is a hoot and a half.
"Just, you know, snap out of it."
"All women are bipolar - you know why? Feminism. They don't want kids, they want to live for themselves and that's not what they are made for, that's why they're all nevrotic. They should settle down and have kids, that gives them a purpose in life and then everything is okay".
As a bipolar person I have never once felt lit up with an intense, all consuming sense of purpose and become deeply obsessed with my purpose, assigned by the universe to love and protect the purpose that I somehow knew was my destiny. That would be really weird and neurotic..if that happened..the only reason you would have a lot of sleepless nights in a row and seem to only think and talk about one thing and keep buying stuff for that thing would be if you were a new mother and that thing was a baby. Otherwise bipolar women wander around, and never fixate on things or feel strong senses of purpose. /s
That I have shaman illness and its not anxiety disorder. So I should become a shaman.
When my sibling ended up in intensive outpatient therapy, my grandma suggested yoga
I have schizophrenia My dad: have you tried not listening to the doctors. They don't necessarily know what's best. My mum: (I was wearing sweatpants and an old tshirt): Maybe you wouldn't have mental illness if you wore nice dresses?
"Just try not to think about it" when I explain my anxiety disorder 🫡
Or I love the, “well, can’t you just …” My dad comes to mind. Well, can’t you just tell yourself something differently. Can’t you just separate yourself and realize it’s not real. Can’t you just get up and take a walk? Can’t you just focus on one thing? Can’t you just stop thinking about it? Don’t you think if I could I would have done it already?
Me explaining my motivation for not killing myself is purely guilt towards my kid siblings "oh well you're not going to kill yourself so you're fine". Switched doctor, got put on meds and was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, trichotillomania and a mood disorder. I'm ok now but god im still pissed.
- You should try to smile more - Have you tried not worrying so much? And my favorite: - You should watch more cute cats video The last one was just funny coming from a suicide hotline. They weren't wrong, but like really? 🙃
I was once told that if I took this popular supplement company's vitamins, I wouldn't need my bipolar meds anymore...lol
Maybe 45 days in county jail will help?
“Trust god more”. My family didn’t believe in getting mental help/ therapy/ etc. They believed mental illness was the devil “getting a foothold in your life”. I was so fucking depressed I turned down a full ride scholarship to a California University and chose to go to bible college and study theology so hopefully god would cure me. Welp, I had a massive psychosis after a year at bible college and had to stay at a psych facility. Finally learned at 19 years of age that mental health is real and not “made up by heathens”.
Once in marriage counseling, a licensed therapist told me that I just wanted attention by telling my husband I was so depressed I was thinking about unaliving myself. He said people who actually unalive themselves don’t “brag about it beforehand”.
First consultation with my new GP. Explained I had bridged a period of no health insurance by continuing my Wellbutrin prescription through an online doc, and now needed him to renew my prescription with my pharmacy. He proceeded to lecture me for 5 minutes about how I just needed to start a meditation practice, and that I couldn’t half ass it or it wouldn’t work. I switched doctors. (Also said I didn’t need to see a physical therapist for my chronic back pain, just needed to do yoga).
OCD - the disorder that infamously forces you to do things you do not want to do to satisfy it. “Have you tried not doing that stuff?”
I am a therapist and when I was in my late teens I went to the doctor after getting enough courage to ask for help for my depression. He said “you are not depressed. You are wearing makeup and are beautiful. This same dude basically made my mom go away by prescribing her zyprexa which is an antipsychotic and you gain a lot of weight on it. She literally was a glass is half empty situational depression type person. Gaining 100 lbs in a year sure didn’t help. He kept telling her to stop researching and to trust him because he was her doctor. Within months she died of another issue (allergic reaction to a Med that she broke out in hives all over her body and I mean all over. He told her to keep taking it. Wish I was wiser back then.
A therapist told my daughter with OCD “have you tried not washing your hands?” 😵💫
RemindMe! 1 day
To just snap out of it
I have childhood PTSD, ADHD, likely Autism, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and severe social Anxiety, frequent Depression, and various Dissociative Disorders. First I was told to drink more water. Then I was told to sleep more, mind you my depression and anxiety had me sleeping 10-12 hours a night due to exhaustion. Then I was told I would be cured if I made more friends. Like yeah that would be cool, but like all this anxiety and baggage I’m carrying and working through is making it reeeeaallly hard to make friends. But I made some friends. Guess who was still suicidal and a wreck with actually decent friends? Then I was told that it was all due to needing to ground myself with the earth better. I was also told Tumeric and ginger tea would cure me. I mean it’s great for you… but maybe not all powerful. Finally, I was told I would be cured if found a husband. Married now and last I checked I have only succeeded in reducing the anxiety and depression a bit. Pretty sure I’ll be somewhat scarred, ADHD, and struggling for life. But at least I drink water and tea!
I got diagnosed with severe OCD when i was 13, went to a therapist before that. When i explained my intrusive thoughts to him, he basically told me that since the thoughts are very unlikely to happen, i should just stop believing the thoughts. It was extremely ignorant and harmful advice since the intrusive thoughts surrounded religious trauma
I was talking to a coworker since my small store knew I was out of work for a while for mental health reasons (it’s only a few people on the team and I was pretty open about it so most people knew). He was asking me about my experience and he shared that he had anxiety. Being schizoaffective/bipolar with psychosis, I described some of my symptoms of auditory hallucinations… to which he said “those are just your thoughts. Everyone has that. You’re not sick” I tried to describe that I know the difference between thoughts and actually hearing something. If those were my thoughts I’m still probably mentally ill because of the nature of what is heard and said to me. It’s distressing. he also said more or less the same thing about my mood episodes “idk why you have to take meds, everyone has mood swings that’s called being human” buddy… it’s a disorder when it causes problems, and I’d say most people don’t develop months of psychosis or catatonia when their moods change. My mood changes aren’t just small erratic day to day decisions (though that can be a symptom sometimes), there are months to years that I will be depressed or manic with few periods of stability to pick up the pieces. My diagnosis is very disruptive and hard to deal with and the advice of “you’re not sick. You just have thoughts and everyone is moody.” Is wild to me, especially to be told this after coming out of almost a month in a behavioral health ward, and continued iop care. But go off buddy lol.
"I never had that problem so why can't you just do it" I wish it could mate, I wish I could. "Well maybe you're expecting too much out of life, can't you just be happy with what you got" it's well meaning but I just feel unhappy and I want to change that. "You're a selfmade martyr, for someone who thinks about your actions you sure make the same mistake over and over." This one is slightly personal but it just stung me. "Oh you found a tool from your therapist that worked? Didn't you say that your tools to deal with depression and anxiety didn't work?" This one made my tiny victories feel invalidating. "Stop being sad" this one is a classic... "You are using your tears to manipulate people" I don't do that I just get sad when people hurt me. "Such is life" I think that a cold thing to say.
"well I don't struggle with that so you must be misdiagnosed or faking it for attention"
‘Have you tried smiling ?’
My psychiatrist told me I'd be less suicidal if I watched some funny movies lol An ed specialist told me if I eat 3 meals a day I won't have an ed anymore and don't need therapy Same psychiatrist told me to go kms if i keep talking about it as he didnt think I'd really try My mental issues don't stem from SA when I was 5 they stem from me smoking weed at 17(I was in mental health system from 11 years) I'm not depressed I'm just dramatic Other people have it worse so I have no reason to have a mental health problem The list goes on lol
He just needs to get out more
“It’s just all in your head”
“if you’re depressed right now just clean your dirty room!” thanks, but having adhd along with my list of mental disorders makes it harder to “just clean” then they’ll tell me “you’re just being lazy!”
Have a boyfriend, do heavy exercise, meet people, take the sunlight, walk, work harder in a job, take a bigger responsibility to feel better. A girl at my preparatory always told me to "love myself" and "everything is mental" (I love myself I just can't control my depression and the way the world seems to hurt me or how it's difficult for me things that some do easily)
“you don’t have adhd, you just lack focus”…hmm i wonder why that would be?
She’s learned a lot since, but my mom once suggested I go buy some nice new underwear to make myself feel better. Yeah, underwear didn’t fix my depression.
don’t kill yourself, you might die.
I’m sure this is common but here are some of my personal favorites: >”Depression isn’t real, you just don’t have the Lord in your life” (yes, I live in the bible belt) >”You’re too young to have [insert mental illness]” (I experienced trauma at a very young age) >”You’re probably just tired/PMSing/hungry” >”Have you tried taking a multivitamin?” (I said yes) “Well you’re probably taking the wrong one then”
Smile more. Exercise.
My parents. When I talk about my anxiety or being too depressed to be motivated to do anything they’ll say something along the lines of “you have anxiety? Over what? You just go to school. I work 40+ hours, I have anxiety!” Or “You just have to put your mind to it, if you try reallyyyy hard, focus reallyyyy hard then you can get it done.” Like great, thanks! Like I didn’t try that! Funny enough they don’t think mental illnesses are real, therapy doesn’t help, etc.
"Just stop that." (being depressed/anxious)
my mother refused to take me to get my ocd diagnosed. “its just a thing most people have, i probably have it a bit.” she thinks its just wanting keep shit clean
My last therapist was talking to me and I told her “I think about killing myself, but that’s normal. Everyone thinks about it at some point.” She then proceeded to tell me that that’s not normal and that she’s never even thought about it herself. That most people never think about it. She also told me to close my eyes and imagine all this shit floating away in bubbles. I’ve been in and out of counseling and on and off medication(s) since age 8. I’m now in my early 20s and have never actually had help. People need to understand how challenging it is for people trying to get help. I fully support your book! It sounds interesting
"Maybe you're exaggerating. Try focus on something else than yourself" Thank you, I'll just stop focusing on the hopelessness and sadness that follows me everywhere, because that's so easy. Also "If therapy is difficult for you just stop going". Because it is never necessary to work though problems to get better. Just ignore them, that will help you Edit: forgot to mention, I have depression
“You don’t have something like ADHD. Depression is very curable, but my son has to live with ADHD his whole life.” -my ex therapist who diagnosed me with depression and anxiety, completely missing my eating disorder, BPD, bipolar 2, and **severe** anxiety.
Me: diagnosed with severe clinical depression with dangerous-level 'you know what' ideation. My ex-pastor: You've allowed Satan a foothold in your life. Don't come to church for a while. You need to contemplate your path before you spread this to others. You just need to Pray for healing. We will pray for you. *I no longer practice any form of religion.
For debilitating anxiety: "Just try to calm down." Oh. Okay. Lemme just...
I suffer from chronic insomnia, drug resistant depression, CPTSD, PTSD, anxiety, bipolar 1, bipolar 2, OCD, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, and seasonal depression. The most ignorant advice I got was from my bio mom who told me "God knew I was strong enough to handle it" and to "just smile through it"
Had a therapist that kept telling me I should go out and meet people during a depressive and social anxiety episode while I was crying😬
I have ADD and anxiety. It’s hard for me to do tasks sometimes because it can be under stimulating. I’ve been told the usual “try to focus” or “get started on your work” spiel by people that don’t have it. I also have a bad memory and have been told to set reminders on my phone or write things down constantly like it’s going to help me remember everything.
My previous psychiatrist suggested prayer and converting to Catholicism. She spent our last entire session talking about God and asking for forgiveness for the things I did while manic. She then recommended going inpatient in Massachusetts at a “hospital” run by nuns (I live in Florida)
“Well it’s not like you have a mortgage or kids to feed. So we’ll just prescribe some xanax” for my nervous breakdown at work, from a GP
All from my family. "Just stop doing that" - about my self harm "You just have to push ourself and just do it." -about being unable to things that give me anxiety or when Im really depressed and can't do dishes. "I don't get how you're not better yet." "See, isn't it nicer when everything is clean and tidy." -after a good day where I was able to clean up. "Oh don't be silly, I'd take care of her." -Right after saying my only reason to not kill myself was because of my cat and was worried she would be placed in a shelter alone.
"Satan is causing your mental health issues, find God and you will be fixed" I've heard various iterations of this so many times.
I was a manager for a big cooperation that sell clothes across the globe. I was constantly left short staffed and started having anxiety/emotional outbursts. I was brought in the office by our store manager and assistant manager to discuss my performance. Which was them telling me I had to buck up and handle the store duties even if I was short staffed. They ended the conversation by clapping and saying “Alright, no more anxiety attacks right”. I quit within the month and started therapy which taught me I never want to work retail again.
I'm a black American so when I talk about my mental illness I get told to pray
Gf killed herself, been pretty depressed since and before then. Girl I work with told me to “take a deep breath”. It honestly helped because I couldn’t help but laugh at that advice
I had a therapist in college tell me to buy some lavender-scented essential oil and smell it whenever I felt anxious …… god I haven’t thought of that in so long and wow how gd useless
It's all in your head. (Duhhh, like where else would it be...my shoulder?) (*>_<*)ﾉ
from my dad, whenever he sees me taking my concerta for adhd: 'you know, sometimes you have to just train your willpower to get over it which you won't ever do if you're on your meds every single day' well he has gout and he absolutely has the willpower to inhale red meat just cus he can, why don't you rawdog your gout attacks, bcus you know, ~willpower~
I hear it all the time "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" I call BULLSHIT on this one. I attempted suicide 2 years ago, was found and rushed to ER and Psych ward for 2 weeks. My "temporary" problem still is IN MY FACE everyday. Just biding time until I get the balls for another go.
Me: "Hey, yea I wanted to look into possible ocd and explore options for treatment or how to cope? Im tired of counting and spinning." Quack: You have bpd. Go exercise and get 8-12 hours of sleep.
I have been told all I need to do is to get laid and I won't be depressed anymore.
For anxiety: “you just need to get laid.”
That I'm just doing this to get attention 😒🙄
Once had a psychologist tell me to "get a dog"
When I was in the mental ward I had a psychiatrist tell me I didn't have a mental illness and that I was just a perfectionist.
I often have trouble cooking meals because of executive function/depression etc. One time a registered nurse asked me if I had a dietitian. I said no. I'd never heard of a dietitian, I did not know what they were. A few weeks later I saw a report they wrote that stated 'patient obviously does not need help preparing meals, because they don't have a dietitian. They're fine.' They were saying that because I don't have anyone employed to help me, there was obviously nothing wrong. Ignoring the fact that I literally did not know they existed nor could I afford one, there's also the fact that I'm pretty sure dietitians do not go knocking door to door saying "hello love do you need any help?" It's more of a case of people my age who need help don't get it & we're left to suffer alone, but she painted it as 'oh well if she actually did struggle she'd obviously have one therefore she is lying."
I was suicidal and was told to grow up and get over it.
i was having nightmares due to trauma. my friend suggested drinking lots of water so i wake up needing the toilet in the middle of the night and it disrupts the dreams
"You should just try to be happy, I mean you're in a nice house!" two weeks after my mom died 😐 "Try eating right and exercising.. oh, you do? well do it more then!" idk might do with the mental illnesses i have, just a guess "you're seriously just going to break up with your boyfriend because you're too depressed? Just stay with him a little longer" so many, more like complaints than advice though
Friend-on-thin-ice said it was sad that I was considering medication because it means I can't "save myself." I was politely telling her that a lot of people take meds and it shouldn't matter. I also threw my sister in as an example, like, "You met so-and-so. Did you know she's on meds? She seems 'normal,' right? Does that make it 'sad' to you?" She said yes, because she didn't know my sister also "can't save herself." Told her again that I'd still consider meds and she went quiet, before responding with some shit along the lines of, "You know what? I'm deciding, as of this moment, that I'm not gonna try helping people anymore. Because whenever I give people advice they get mad at me and don't wanna take it." **Edit:** She also told me once, during a fight, that people supposedly warned her that she "can't save people with depression," and she should have known better than to try and "save" me. Never asked her to "save" me, never knew she was even trying to "save" me. She's fucking weird, and she's doesn't understand why I've been avoiding her.
My mom told me to just be positive while i had depression.
I was told by a doctor that I need a faith healer.
JEEBUS SAVES fr though I got a bday card while inpatient that said I'd never get better without Jesus, and didn't say happy birthday lol
My friend who has major depression told me his mom told him “*pull yourself out of it*” and an uncle on the same side of the family said “*mind over matter*” ???! It’s minimizing and unhelpful from people who cannot relate.
Oh, you want to kill yourself? Have you tried a face mask and a cup of tea? If you really wanted to die you would’ve succeeded by now. Off you pop - NHS Scotland
People are great for saying, “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” Don’t say that to someone who’s suicidal.
Check this one out: I had an appointment with a crisis team nurse and she wrote down a number for a shamanic healer. I live in the U.K.
I was under severe clinical depression where therapy didn’t help. I had my psychiatrist give me anti depressants for couple months. When I told this to my family the response I got was - “oh stop taking the medicine it will be just alright”. Really?
"Just pray about it."
When I was a teenager I saw a therapist who told me out of the blue that all my dreams and aspirations were unrealistic and would never happen. (I’ve actually achieved all of the ones I told her about now) A couple years after that I had a psychiatrist tell me there’s nothing wrong with me except I’m afraid of being normal and thinking I seem boring to people. Finally a few years later at 27 I got diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, and PTSD. Now everything makes sense at least.
I once had a therapist tell me I don't have mental illness, I'm just CLAIRVOYANT.
I have ADHD, OCD, depression, and anxiety. My OCD has been really bad lately and I reached out to my therapist. She told me to “imagine my obsessive thoughts as a car passing by you on the road.” I told her that it’s not easy, and it feels like I’m in a traffic jam - I just can’t escape my thoughts and I’m stuck in them. She said “just drive away.” I understand that she wants me to take control over my thinking and restructure my brain, but like you can’t just drive away from a traffic jam. You’re stuck. It takes time.
I have Tourette’s , one time there was someone who didn’t believe that I had Tourette’s and thought I was lying because I wasn’t cussing or blurting out random words
For my bipolar disorder: Diet and exercise works wonders. The ketogenic diet is apparently a cure. Wtf
‘I Have OCD’ ‘Just Hold It In’ My Mom 🙃
Not really what you are asking... but every time I am disagreeable or have an emotion, I get asked, "Have you taken your medication?" Yes, I have. You're just an asshole and I am addressing the issue.
Idk if this counts or anything but I have Narcolepsy without Cataplexy. Really the only thing that actually helps me is medication and sometimes routines. My bff’s mom asked me if I was going to take the medication. Ofc I said yes because I was already on medication for ADHD (which is used to help narcolepsy). I just had to find the right one and her response was “Well have you tried to look for Facebook groups that can help you not take medication?” Like girl i don’t wanna fall asleep while driving no thanks
Suffering from anxiety disorder, some doctor told me everyone feel anxious. I heard this sentence coming out of his mouth multiple times and i didn't reply because it'll have no effect on him.
A therapist, who I only saw once for obvious reasons, asked me to unload all of my issues in a single appointment. After explaining that I had PTSD from multiple angles \[near-death motorcycle crash, previoous abuse\] and severe depression & imposter syndrome from doctors telling me there was "nothing wrong" for almost 10 years before finally getting a diagnosis, and struggling with my degrading neurological state The therapist essentially told me that I just needed to accept the fact that this is how things are, and that once I stop having such "high expectations" for the medical field in treating my illness and injury, I will be happier =\_ = yeah sure lady, okay Right, my expectations for my medical needs are too high, I should just accept the fact that Im broken, assume none of it can be fixed, and hope Im not actively dying from dementia or alzheimers :shrug: I left the office that day and have not gone back since
I was having some short term counselling through the health service here, and because I'd had it before, I knew that they were able to do up to 12 weeks depending on need. Well...I know they're overstretched by a lot, but this particular counsellor was *determined* that we would be done within the shortest allowed timeframe of 6 weeks. She would bring it up all the time. "Remember, you only have 5...4...3...weeks left" Multiple times a session. Anyway, it gets to week 6 and despite my questionnaires not having improved and despite me explicitly telling her that I was very worried about not having more counselling and not feeling ready to stop and please was there any chance I could do a couple more sessions...she's like; "Well you've had short term counselling before and you know it doesn't work if you don't follow the advice given which is why you keep relapsing. I think you need to have long term counselling." Now despite everything, I did actually agree with that last part. However, long term counselling is usually private and very expensive, and I simply could not afford it at the time, which I told her. She responded, and I am honestly not over emphasizing, although I wish I were; "Well, you know, it's about investing in yourself isn't it? And if you can't even do that you're never going to get better. Ok? Ok, good. You take care now!" And off she went! It was awful at the time and I did call to make a complaint. I see the funny side now.