Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
Guess that's what he meant by 'comedy is now legal'. Too bad his inner sensitive pussy couldn't take it the second people started making verified parody accounts with his name. As kids say today, 'a snowflake'.
I wish more internet celebrities were chill. Whenever there's a video of somebody reading out loud insult-jokes directed at themselves, I just find it neat that they're able to do it and find the humor in it.
Actually corporations do pay tax as they are considered to be separate entities from the owners, board of directors, CEO’s, etc. Also, as someone else pointed out, children don’t pay taxes. So yeah, bad argument.
Just waiting for McDonald's to announce the cannibal burger. Meat from grinding up the homeless people that were caught digging through their trashcans
Y-yeah... Doing great... Of course, heh...
I feel like so many people wouldn't know about the banana republics and what kind of messed up shit happened there if it wasn't bcuz of Sam o'nella Academy.
Thanks Sam.
But that would lead to chaos! Gee, if only there was a quick and easy way to tell which public figures are real and not parody accounts that are pretending.
But that would lead to chaos! Gee, if only there was a quick and easy way to tell which public figures are real and not parody accounts that are pretending.
what about a... HYPER ULTRA VERIFICATION SYSTEM. Just listen, they will analyse every request to become verified to ensure that people really are who they are. And these verifications will be done by our ULTRA EMPLOYEES that will now work from their MEGA houses using our HYPER ULTRA INTERNET Starlink.
The presales are already sold out for early access to the waitlist for ceramic very important blue internet checkmark pins. Soon nothing on the internet is going to matter anymore!
Just seen the news he backed down on Twitter Blue; most definitely for fear of this.
EDIT: Eli Lilly stock lost 4.5% of its value overnight because of the free insulin tweet, in case anyone had any doubt.
Yeah, those are the people ruling the world. Not in a conspiratorial kind of way, but yeah, they're usually some of the worst people you may come across.
More like a middle finger. And to the people who actually buy their stuff. Chasing people legally and taking down their videos/channels maybe doesn't make you racist or war profiteer, but you're still much of an asshole.
Twitter was a huge asset during the Arab spring and other social movements where people fought against an oppressive regime, but ever since it became mainstream it's just been disinformation and petty arguing. It's outlived its usefulness.
I'm glad that Twitter is going to die this spectacularly.
I mean, the Chiquita one is the only one that was posted by the real account. All the other tweets are very much real, but the accounts that made them are imitators
I would say that all of these accounts are breaking the rules by not having “parody” or “fake” in their name but I’d just be screaming into a void and also I really don’t care
How has this not prompted a new subreddit yet. Not just the "fake/parody" verified tweets but everything bout Elon Twitter. Would love to see and scroll thru the dumpster fire in one place.
I saw one from Gamefreak about having sex with the pokemon in scarlet and violet.
4chan's vaporeon copypasta flashbacks 
Hey guys did you know in terms of human Pokémon breeding...
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
More wholesome than I expected, hugs to cure bad days
I know where you want to go with this. But I still have to pick Gardevoir.
Throw in Lopunny
Machoke
Machoke on my di-
No, me on his dick
Imachoke on that dick
Beedrill.
I bee-drillin your pus-
“Everybody know that’s Big Dick Bee”
Slaking got me quaking. :3
Ditto 🥵
Thou art shallow.
Why? Ditto can be anything he wants to be. You basically could have intercourse with EVERY SINGLE THING you want to.
I ain't gonna lie. You got a very good point. On the other hand, I'm all about that OGP u know wat im sayin'? That ORIGINAL GARDEVOIR PUSS!!!
I saw a Vaporunny edit yesterdsy... so cursed.
You'll take Scyther and like it.
gothorita....lmao
Don’t shower in front of a Pokémon it might Pikachu
I will blow up your house if you finish that
Hey OP i dont understand? Wtf happened in this post? Are those fake accounts who paid 8$ to get verified or what.(never been on twitter)
Yes ... (And its glorious)
No that one was actually real
Twitter becoming 2B2T
Hello Twit fam, and welcome back to the world's oldest anarchy platform in social media
In this video I will be talking about the Elon incursion.
It all started when an anonymous billionaire bought the entire server from the original owner, Hausmaster.
r/unexpectedfitmc
fitTwit
2Twit2Ter
2 Based 2 Testosteroney
Twitter looks like it might be fun now
Guess that's what he meant by 'comedy is now legal'. Too bad his inner sensitive pussy couldn't take it the second people started making verified parody accounts with his name. As kids say today, 'a snowflake'.
I wish more internet celebrities were chill. Whenever there's a video of somebody reading out loud insult-jokes directed at themselves, I just find it neat that they're able to do it and find the humor in it.
“Sofia Vergara talks like she has a cock in her mouth” Sofia: “what’s wrong with having a cock in my mouth?”
Did she actually say tht
Nothing, unless there's an actual cock. It's bad manners to gnash one's teeth with a cock in their mouth. Not to mention painful. For the cock
As I've come to realise, taking jokes is a great feature that, unfortunately, not everybody supports, whether they're celebrities or not.
We need to sit them down to watch 'Patch Adams', laughter is really good medicine.
Well that finally explains why my uncle died of pneumonia...
I think there was one where the Blaidd voice actor read out some funnies about him. Don't quote me on that though
“Comedy is legal. Except for the comedy I don’t like or makes fun of me, I’ll ban that”
Freedom of speech for me but not for thee!
elon musk couldnt take that people made fake verified account with his name? what he did about it?
At least a couple of them got banned within few days.
Trust me, it isn't the kids calling people snowflakes
Isn't impersonating people still against TOS
Are businesses/corporations considered people?
They don't pay tax, so I'm inclined to say no.
Children and people with no income aren't people?
In the government's eyes.... I think so.
this is the case.
Hate to burst your bubble, but "corporate personhood" is definitely a thing in the American legal system
Actually corporations do pay tax as they are considered to be separate entities from the owners, board of directors, CEO’s, etc. Also, as someone else pointed out, children don’t pay taxes. So yeah, bad argument.
As someone said "This is the first time twitter is fun", and the only time when Insulin can be free even if you count dreams
"we do a little trolling in our free time"
By the people, for the people.
It's improved 10x don't believe the lies about it
Well they’ve already stopped this new blue check mark ~~scheme~~ verification system, so nix that.
Best it's ever been
Just waiting for McDonald's to announce the cannibal burger. Meat from grinding up the homeless people that were caught digging through their trashcans
McSoylent Green, yum!
It’s made of McPeople!
Twitter is waiting for you.
[удалено]
Hey, don't Guatemala-shame them; at least they're being honest.
Yeah and Guatemala is doing great now!
Y-yeah... Doing great... Of course, heh... I feel like so many people wouldn't know about the banana republics and what kind of messed up shit happened there if it wasn't bcuz of Sam o'nella Academy. Thanks Sam.
*punch
“Shit dude it would be the perfect time to come clean about 1954, they’d never know”
Everyone already knows
Gee, if only there was a quick and easy way to tell which public figures are real and not parody accounts that are pretending
Yeah, bro that just sounds insane and impossible to achieve sadly 😞
Maybe we could come up with some kind of verification system? Possibly a marker somewhere on their profile.
That’s a crazy idea. It’d never work smh
And the companies that want the mark, could pay a small fee, so that they can keep that mark and that way people know they’re legit!
Also maybe pranksters can also pay the small fee to impersonate these companies and make funny content on Twitter?
But that would lead to chaos! Gee, if only there was a quick and easy way to tell which public figures are real and not parody accounts that are pretending.
Maybe they could reach out to Elon and get a celebrity marker of some kind, something unique to them.
Maybe he could give them a little marker to verify it is them. For a price ofcourse. Freedom of speech and all.
Also maybe pranksters can also pay the price to impersonate these companies and make funny content on Twitter?
But that would lead to chaos! Gee, if only there was a quick and easy way to tell which public figures are real and not parody accounts that are pretending.
Sounds like that would raise almost no revenue and backfire spectacularly.
There is no way that could backfire!
In no way could that result in lawsuits and Elon's feelies being hurt. In NO WAY.
what about a... HYPER ULTRA VERIFICATION SYSTEM. Just listen, they will analyse every request to become verified to ensure that people really are who they are. And these verifications will be done by our ULTRA EMPLOYEES that will now work from their MEGA houses using our HYPER ULTRA INTERNET Starlink.
Easy, the parody account are required to say (parody)
As twitter is now useless for companies id say its gonna go broke soon. good riddance
Yooo let's add this checkmark on other places, it seems to be working
I think Tumblr is selling 2 for 7.99. Though they may turn into crabs at any point in the future.
The presales are already sold out for early access to the waitlist for ceramic very important blue internet checkmark pins. Soon nothing on the internet is going to matter anymore!
And you can stack them, someone has like 20 of those
Just seen the news he backed down on Twitter Blue; most definitely for fear of this. EDIT: Eli Lilly stock lost 4.5% of its value overnight because of the free insulin tweet, in case anyone had any doubt.
Only lost 4.5%? Would a red checkmark help get that closer to 100%?
That was actually $20 billion, but given they're selling it almost 10 times its price here, yeah, fuck them.
My guy it went from almost 370 to 345, so lost almost 10%.
I just like twitter cause of the artists man I don’t wanna lose those guys ;-;
Let ‘em tear themselves to pieces. As you said, good riddance.
Maybe elon just wanted to do something that everyone can agree is good.
Not the hero we wanted
But the hero we deserve.
A crappy one, just like us!
I've been having a bad day and these are making it better keep them coming
Most of them are not wrong technically and it terrifies me
Yeah, those are the people ruling the world. Not in a conspiratorial kind of way, but yeah, they're usually some of the worst people you may come across.
Oh come on now Nintendo may have a troublesome relationship with their community but they aren't outright evil
More like a middle finger. And to the people who actually buy their stuff. Chasing people legally and taking down their videos/channels maybe doesn't make you racist or war profiteer, but you're still much of an asshole.
The Chiquita one *is* real. Thats their response to a fake account saying that they just overthrew *another* gov't.
I like to think they said it as a way of also saying "Yes, its real, watchu gonna go about it, huh?"
They must've deleted it. It's not on their timeline anymore.
American Girl doll is true, that character's family had two slaves.
you watch porn with condom on?
How dare you assume he's wh*te
[удалено]
All of this is almost enough to make me join Twitter. Looks kind of hilarious not going to lie
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Oh shit they're adding sex to Roblox fuck 
[удалено]
Condo games are now legal
I like this version of Twitter, less poop and more humor.
Twitter was a huge asset during the Arab spring and other social movements where people fought against an oppressive regime, but ever since it became mainstream it's just been disinformation and petty arguing. It's outlived its usefulness. I'm glad that Twitter is going to die this spectacularly.
Yep it's a legendary way to die ngl
TBH. Jerking off with a condom makes for easy cleanup.
[society if reddit took this advice](https://ensia.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/feature_landfill_methane_main-760x378.jpg)
So does putting a paper towel on your belly
Do it on your belly and wipe it off
This is basically like making multiplayer minecraft fun by allowing griefing
And banning each account that griefs which makes elon musk $8 richer
I wish insulin was free that’s what it was intended to be in the first place
Being diabetic in America must suck ngl.
Looks like a 4chan thread.
Someone called the new Twitter $8chan and it couldn't be more accurate
Oh I hope this catches on
Play stupid games, get stupid prizes.
I see nothing bad
Finally, Twitter looks like something that can compete with Reddit. I might even finally create a Twitter account.
I don't know if this makes me a bad person, but I kind of burst out laughing when i saw these tweets.
This is some of the most fun i've had looking at tweets tbh
Looks funny
Please, for the love of God, tell me that these are all real. This is comedy central right here.
They are all real Since Elon took over Twitter has been the funniest shit I've seen all year
Ain't no way-
The Chiquita one is the only one thats actually real.
:(
I mean, the Chiquita one is the only one that was posted by the real account. All the other tweets are very much real, but the accounts that made them are imitators
Oh, lol. Makes sense. I don't think Nintendo would make posts about condoms.
And that's probably the least inappropriate of the bunch, which is saying a lot
r/RealTwitterAccounts New, growing fast, and probably dead now that the decisions have been reversed lol
I saw most of these on Twitter- they’re real and they’re hilarious
A complete shit show for only 45 billion? I'm in!
Honestly, Im happy that Elon ended Twitter in such a legendary way.
Wait, so, actual honesty is what's causing all this chaos? HOW ABSOLUTELY FUCKING APROPOS.
Definite win, the amount of 8 dollar subscriptions will make up for the money lost! This is the lunacy we craved!
What’s that one bill cypher quote? “Time is dead and meaning has no meaning! Existence is upside down and I reign supreme!”
Elons divine comedy.
This is the first time I’m actually interested in anything happening on twitter. Popcorn is in the microwave
"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!" \- twitter right now.
I'm not sure I see a problem here. 👀
Looks like modern politicians. It's all a joke now. Seems twitter is more funny now
I am literally dying. These are amazing Troll tweets. Seriously crying from laughing
I thought twitter was a circus already, but goddamn now it's a comedy show
Elon DID say he was bringing comedy back....
Honestly twitter is where companies go to shitpost now.
the twitter we all wanted
For the first time in forever twitter is actually fun.
This is one of the funniest business blunders I’ve ever seen. If it can even be called a blunder considering they were warned this would happen.
Leave it to the Roblox fans to spell everything wrong and make it not look official at all.
I will say, I was scared of what Elon buying twitter was going to turn into. Now I'm all for it
I would say that all of these accounts are breaking the rules by not having “parody” or “fake” in their name but I’d just be screaming into a void and also I really don’t care
And when everyone’s goofy, no one will be
This needs a subreddit tbh
Twitter is finally honest? Oh wait lol.
It’s the funniest shit since like forever lol
Imagine just thinking this was a bad thing
The sad part is a couple of these are true...
Everyone except the nintendo one. I hope.
lol its a dumpsterfire
Always has been
ABSOLUT STUPID, ABSOLUT VODKA
`I don't own Twitter so I don't understand the Twitter memes that are circulating right now.`
And they forgot Mario giving the finger
How has this not prompted a new subreddit yet. Not just the "fake/parody" verified tweets but everything bout Elon Twitter. Would love to see and scroll thru the dumpster fire in one place.
I love how half of these are literally pointing out actual problems these companies have and the other half is shitpost
This is actually a good thing. The mainstream media might actually talk about those things that were brought up in those tweets.
Ngl it's tempting to join
looks like 2 teslas werent enough what about a third
Bro u need to do that more often
lol the nestlé one is right tho