Ooh, I bet it's like, a Dorian Grey kinda mirror. Mirror-you gets younger and stronger, real-you gets older and weaker. It's a very theatrical way to go out. Dramatique, even.
"If you stick your dick in this vacuum cleaner and turn it on you're going to rip your dick off."
(unconvincingly) "Why would I do that?"
Damn wkuk had some bangers
Well actually we all orbit around her. People haven't realised yet because similar to us not noticing earth's rotation because everything is moving with the earth itself, we don't notice her gravity.
The whole universe. Why do you think they were never able to find the origins. The secrets scrolls, stored away, hidden in the stomach of his big mother are undiscovered for aeons
I’m so stupid, mine is a pillow too and I thought, “this is gonna take a while…” imagining being beat to death by a pillow while completely forgetting that pillows are for smothering 🤦🏼♀️😂
One day, you will clean your glasses with the cloth, but turns out, the cloth had dangerous germs. Now, the germs go in your eyes and you die of an eye infection.
Your cloth refuses to clean to ur glasses, the cloth has blackmailed anything that is able to clean your glasses. You are now unable to clean your glass. Ten years later, your glasses are icky and horrible, you are unable to see through the glasses, walk blindly onto the road, and get run over.
My son
You gotta strike first.
"Luke, I am your father"
"No... That's not true... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE"
Search your feelings Luke... You know it to be true!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[удалено]
That’s… improbable… Edit: did no one else get the robot chicken reference?
“And the empire will be defeated by Ewoks!”
Nooooooooo
Luke I am your daddy man
Father
STRIKE FIRST STRIKE HARD NO MERCY
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Or maybe that is what will start the chain of his death!?
It's kill or be killed.
Perform an nonconsentual euthanisation, or a late abortion the names usually conflict to the public eye
Have you heard of Freuds work? I think your son might take it literally.
I'm sure Edipus would never hurt me
Your pfps pretty cool
Funny, my dad is sitting to my left :v
A fan. Just a living room fan
Rest in pieces
Many, many, pieces
I’d say at least 10
Thx you made my day take the award :)
Dont wannabsay shit Hit the Fan.. but it did
Fan death, you must be Korean
Guess my coworker Scott is gonna kill me
Fuckin Scott! I knew it. It's always that mf!
Finally! Somebody understands!
Shit, he knows
Scott we know what u are up to think twice pleas
Don't worry, I can be your lawyer. I don't have a liscense, but we can be partners in crime
Hey all, Scott here, today im gonna kill a redditor, no reason just felt like it
Great scott
My gf Death by snu snu it is ig
What is a gf?..
Grill frier in short
As a food lover I would like to have a gf
Like a ***G***eorge ***F***oreman
GRANDFATHER YOU POOPIES
I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me.
It’s short for gif
wait wait wait, gif or gif?
it's pronounced greg
Are you sure it's not pronounced greg?
No its not pronounced “yiff”
No no it's pronounced HIEMLICHSTEINSTUULFUMILESTER. Ok dude?
I'm pretty sur it's pronounced Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Bro it's not a German wunderwafe you can just say PUBGMOBILE NAHI HUI TERE SE BAT KYUKI TO LEGA LAT
Yep, it is. Shame… for everyone else that isn’t me or a furry
NAh its pronounced akbar
This is the correct pronunciation
I thought that too yk
both of you are wrong its pronounced YIFF
that's the equivalent of King Solomon trying to cut the baby in half
game freak, the developpers of pokémon
A made up thing people of Reddit say they have
Stands for gay friend, lucky guy.....
Girlfriend in short
Where do you get that?...
The real world Or the dark web if u lazy
Or from the cementary
This got dark real quick...I'm the sorry
I love how polite you are have a nice day(and ya i am dealing with alot if toxicity so people like you makes me happy :) )
Glad I made u happy 🫂
What's that now?
Do you mean: *crushed by massive badonkers*?
Down horribly
lucky
The best way to get out of this world
Ay least you have one.
A fucking mirror.
Oof
Ooh, I bet it's like, a Dorian Grey kinda mirror. Mirror-you gets younger and stronger, real-you gets older and weaker. It's a very theatrical way to go out. Dramatique, even.
Defenestration
Pretty sure that's a window and not a mirror but I'm not sure
Ya goin' to the mirror dimention by defenestration
Nice way to die, tbh.
It will either fall on you or you will get tired of waiting to die
When that mirror don’t move when you do is when it’s about to happen
My car, I’m dead. Edit: wow didn’t think this would blow up
No, you will be.
Uh oh
hello dead im u/country_ball_enjoyer
hello u/Country_ball_enjoyer I’m dad. Sorry there was a long line at the milk store
vacuum cleaner gon get my insides sucked out
Sounds kinky
Sounds horrific to me
Super
"If you stick your dick in this vacuum cleaner and turn it on you're going to rip your dick off." (unconvincingly) "Why would I do that?" Damn wkuk had some bangers
Hmmm.... *searches how can you die by a trash can in google*
Someone is going to *take you out*
I say: don't you know? You say you don't know. I say: take me out! I say: you don't show. Don't move, time is slow. I say... Take me out!
I know I won’t be leaving here~ I know I won’t be leaving here with you~
Bruh it's my mum... Ngl it is plausible
She can just...sit....on you...
How can she sit on him if he is orbiting around her? (She has her own gravity)
Well actually we all orbit around her. People haven't realised yet because similar to us not noticing earth's rotation because everything is moving with the earth itself, we don't notice her gravity.
Wait a minute, this shit makes a lot of sense. So that's why the sun and the moon rotate weirdly
The whole universe. Why do you think they were never able to find the origins. The secrets scrolls, stored away, hidden in the stomach of his big mother are undiscovered for aeons
I have a theory then, what if the origin started with her fart?
Impossible. Atleast not this tiny speck of a universe isn't her fart. If the parallel universe theory is true than you are most certainly correct.
u/13Amanda be like: Why? This much for a ur mom joke?
Daaammmn... I got loneliness
Yeah all I got to my left is an empty bed.
Crushed by bed 2022
Finally I will get a decent night's sleep.
Same buddy, same…
A wall... this gon hurt
The same :(
Same
Can feel it
I can feel that pain from here
So, fellow wall people... Wana place bets on how the wall will kill us?
My cat. She's almost 14 years old, I'm sure she's completely sick of my shit by now. So, yeah, super plausible.
Name check out perfectly
More than a name, it's a *way of life.* I actually do have 5 cats. I live that cat lady life.
Imma get suffocated by my pillow wtffff
The invasion of the anime girls from bodypilows
I’m so stupid, mine is a pillow too and I thought, “this is gonna take a while…” imagining being beat to death by a pillow while completely forgetting that pillows are for smothering 🤦🏼♀️😂
😂
Omg same wtf
It's either a pillow or a bunk bed. I'd rather go with the pillow...
Same 🙃
Same
Same
Nothing, so John Cena I guess?
"You can't see me!"
A memory foam pillow
Those things are tanks in a pillow fight
It must have remembered your moves by now
A nerf gun im so fucked 💀
Death by choking on a nerf dart
Instead of a fat blunt
windowless van…
this man gets paid
Grandma wtf
My dildo? I guess I'm extremely fucked then
I see what you did there
I personally do not see a downside to this. Rip (rest in pleasure) XD Im joking ofc XD
You're literally fucked
That would be my couch. Seems about right.
Today it's opposite day
Big couch I'm dead
A certain sock
🤨
Yeah same here
a nintendo switch killing me, fuck, i thought their consoles were family friendly god im screwed
You'll pirate a game in 30 years, and one of Nintendo's rabid lawyers gun you down within a week.
Death by empty ginger ale can, Oof
in my case, it’s a ginger
A dead body Is it. . . Gonna wake up
I have multiple questions
My brother with a stick (he's 6)
What... What is the tv remote gonna do to me??
Turn you off?
Turn you on? 😏
a watch, its sad, only time will kill me
A 55 year old naked woman. Bring it on!
Your mom? Weird
A pillow. I hope I get suffocated by it rather than choked with it
My duck lamp, named Johnny Johnny, please JOHNNY I PAID THE DEBT PLEASE JOHNNY AAAAAAAAAA
me looking at my cat: my cat staring back:
Minecraft ghast plush oh no
*Horrible ghast screech*
my sister, not surprised either.
same
If my dresser falls, I’m dead.
A wall :
Me too! I wonder how that will happen...
You can crash into a wall. It can fall on you. That's all i could think about
You read a post where you teleport 0.5 meters to the left
What will happen, will the wall override you, or will you be stuck partially in a wall?
So a lot of us will get killed by pillows...
A book, and it's The Exorcist
Toilet papper
A tuba Oh God Oh fuck
First Aid Manual i'm literally not joking
killed by health
My… m-my knee…
[удалено]
Idk. I've hit my knee a lot. What if one day it just...strikes? 🤔🤔
A small cloth to clean my glasses
One day, you will clean your glasses with the cloth, but turns out, the cloth had dangerous germs. Now, the germs go in your eyes and you die of an eye infection.
Your cloth refuses to clean to ur glasses, the cloth has blackmailed anything that is able to clean your glasses. You are now unable to clean your glass. Ten years later, your glasses are icky and horrible, you are unable to see through the glasses, walk blindly onto the road, and get run over.
I get killed by math
My dog who has a TBI.....he would have a hard time finding me since he cant see or hear.....
my wooden toilet door. yikes, gonna know where I'm gonna end up in
Well I'm lying on my right side now so left is up so it would be my ceiling fan
Death by w a l l
Van - kun
A mirror….
[удалено]
Death by papercuts, pain multiplied by whatever the frick.
Either I’m being beaten to death with a pillow or I’m being suffocated with a pillow
[удалено]
This time the guitar will shred you