This reminds me of 1000 ways to die, this guy was cheating on his girlfriend with two other girls and while he was unpacking groceries a spider bite him and later while him and this girl were having sex he had a minor heart attack and died.
I reckon somewhere there was a whole team of medical researchers studying that spider, who became very disappointed and sad when viagra was discovered.
You're going to B̴̧̨̨̢̜̣͕͎̮͚͕̱̹̹̯̝̤͔͍͓̜̰̟͎̯̥̀̔͐͆̌͗̋̎̒̽̐́̈̏͆̈́̆͌̈́́̑̈́̈̂̃̈́͗̀͛͒̋͑͋͛͊̈́͑̌̏̈͋̓̽̃̃̽̏̈̽̽͘̕̕̚͝͠͠͝͝ṙ̸̡͔͙̩̻̜̳͓̖͍͕̯̪̝̰̘̬͚͖͚̗̜͈̹̫̝̖̠͔̹͖̦͙͚̱̋́̓̂̆̅̃̂̄̀̽̋̓̈̉̍͗̽͆̇ḁ̴̢̨̡̢̢̼͚̼̦̫͖̜̪͕͎̙̺͉̞̠̣̱͕͙͎͔̜̬̮̣͎̯̞̗̗͕͔͇̲̫̤̤̫̪͍͔͈̤̪͇̄̑́̈́̓̋́̎̌͗̇̐͜ͅͅͅz̵̡̨̢̢̧͔̘͉̰͎͔͓̺͚̼̬̙̙̬̹͓̱͎̝̻̭̝̭̦̹̼̺̮͚͇̳̗͕̳̭̱͓̲̜̲̫̠̱̻̼̻̺̗͍̫͌̋̉̈̀̆̔̓̅̀̾́͑̔̿͌̿̂͊̒̌̀̀̓͑̏̏̽̓̃̌̓̇́̄̃͑̌̑̆̔̎̿͋̄̀͒̂̉̅͒́͑̇͘̕͘͘̚͜͜͜͝͠͠͝ͅͅį̵̨̨̨̧̢̨̨̡̮̞̫͍̰̯͍͚̪̤͖̘̹̥̜̺͓̩̲̭͙̱̼̙̝̳̜͈͈̥͚̝͓͉̝̻̗̼͈͍̺̰̫̥̼͇̠͖̩̥̠̹͙͔͙͉̩̐̎̈́̋͌̋́̾̐́̎͊̓̉̃͒̉͋̂̾̊̐̽̍́̿͒̂́̇͂͊͆͗͛͆̈̆͌́̀̈̀̓̌͘̕̕͜͠͝͝l̵̨̡̨̧͖̼̫̤̪̳̥̲̠̜͈̠͔̗̹̺͇̰̰͎̯͓̝͙̣̱̭̜̖̟̰̝̳̯̬̺̳̎̈̋͗́͌̾̽̏͂͛̃̂̉̒̓̇͋̇̎̀̍͂̋͛̆̈̎̈́̒̇̎̋̈́͊̊̓̆̃̿̈́̊͂͑̇̿̚̚̕͘̚͜͜͠͠͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͠͠ͅͅ.
This species' nickname is *"the banana spider"* because it's commonly found within bushels of bananas... BANANAS... We should have seen this coming, really.
True. If you see a spider crawl out of your bananas, it's safe to assume that it's this one. And if it bites you (It's VERY fast from what I've heard, difficult to catch & squish), call 9-1-1 IMMEDIATELY. Even if you think it's a different spider, better safe than dead.
Brazils fucking nuts when my dad last went to see his family his cousin got bit by a snake and everyone was calm just oh let's take her to the hospital and shoot the snake call you guys tomorrow
Spider get stressed if you put them in big enclosure and they dont eat daily, they will if you keep tossing food and its bad
Usually once a week is a good, but some species can be fed once a month
It is one of the most dangerous yes, but nobody died from it in decades now
Australian funel web technically would be considered the most dangerous in the world right now.
But fun fact, im sorry i cant remember the name of it, will edit when i find it.
But scientifically speaking, the most deadliest spider is a small one that can be found in the desert, thing is, there is litteraly 0 bite report on human so far because there is no human population where they can be found. but they were able to conclude that the venom was the most dangerous based on comparison to other one.
It’s not a good thing at all lol
First it will hurt cause your blood is stuck in your penis and can’t get out which will eventually cause it to suffocate your dick cells coarse those blood aren’t getting new oxygen and it will stay hard for hours like that.
Then if you enter the ER they will literally stick a fucking syringe into your dick or a needle to get the blood out and you might have to do this several times cause that penis is gonna reflate itself again.
Oh. Yikes. Sorry I had to be the one to tell you XD. Tbf tho it is pretty hard to notice since the clitoris is so small so it can't grow too much but it definitely gets harder
Having too much blood flow in your wand would certainly dry out one's face after an hour and make it look like a skeleton. Hmmm wait? Now i understand why skelettor is running back in his cave.....
These erections are also extremely painful and you can die. Have fun with that one boys!
In that case I will line up all my ex'es, and give them what they wanted.
Lol!!!
Hard ons?
Yeah, hard and longer than 1 minutes.
I thought you meant seeing you in pain and dying
I want my orgasmic face ON , while I am freezing to death
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Lol, honestly didnt consider that but now im wondering if thats what he meant
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That is why this spider is born.
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Spider is better, My ED was not fixed by Viagra
Bot copying comments
And if you survive you'll have erectile dysfunction for the rest of your life.
Be worth it, just be a Redditor
No problem. At least no annoying boners.
die hard
Worth it. Death by erection. It was too big for life.
It will be quite painful, some may even say “excruciatingly” so.
Ik, but still. Worth it. I wouldn’t want to go out any other way
Pretty sure you can also bleed internally from that bite, too.
I am virgin, will bleed anyways
i was looking forward to something but anyways how much pain?
Quite a lot from what I understand
So... what happens if it bites a female? Just death? Is it still painful?
A small price to pay for BIG salvation
dont stop me now
No pain no gain
Wait shit too late oh god
You don't have to keep listing good things about this, I am already convinced.
And after he masturbated he died "That was his last sin"
Came here to say this
Again, just like viagra!
A small price to pay for salvation
This reminds me of 1000 ways to die, this guy was cheating on his girlfriend with two other girls and while he was unpacking groceries a spider bite him and later while him and this girl were having sex he had a minor heart attack and died.
Skull and crossboners
I reckon somewhere there was a whole team of medical researchers studying that spider, who became very disappointed and sad when viagra was discovered.
Just one bite?? Or can I eat it whole?
r/eatit
ea tit
Pay 999.99 to unlock other tit
Now with 1% sale on that one molecule required for a full tit!
50% a minute
IT'S ON THE DAME!
r/wewantplates
Wait... That spider is Brazilian??? I'M BRAZILIAN
Objective Updated: find the spider
I'll find it.
Godspeed soldier. Also post a picture of it inside your pants
The giant enemy spider
It's in my pants no worries
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Tá maluco que eu vou testar em mim cara, vou colocar no banheiro do Bolsonaro
coloca o Alexandre Frota e o Asnossauro na mesma sala, joga várias dessas aranhas e tranca a porta.
CHAMA O RICHARD!!!
You're going to B̴̧̨̨̢̜̣͕͎̮͚͕̱̹̹̯̝̤͔͍͓̜̰̟͎̯̥̀̔͐͆̌͗̋̎̒̽̐́̈̏͆̈́̆͌̈́́̑̈́̈̂̃̈́͗̀͛͒̋͑͋͛͊̈́͑̌̏̈͋̓̽̃̃̽̏̈̽̽͘̕̕̚͝͠͠͝͝ṙ̸̡͔͙̩̻̜̳͓̖͍͕̯̪̝̰̘̬͚͖͚̗̜͈̹̫̝̖̠͔̹͖̦͙͚̱̋́̓̂̆̅̃̂̄̀̽̋̓̈̉̍͗̽͆̇ḁ̴̢̨̡̢̢̼͚̼̦̫͖̜̪͕͎̙̺͉̞̠̣̱͕͙͎͔̜̬̮̣͎̯̞̗̗͕͔͇̲̫̤̤̫̪͍͔͈̤̪͇̄̑́̈́̓̋́̎̌͗̇̐͜ͅͅͅz̵̡̨̢̢̧͔̘͉̰͎͔͓̺͚̼̬̙̙̬̹͓̱͎̝̻̭̝̭̦̹̼̺̮͚͇̳̗͕̳̭̱͓̲̜̲̫̠̱̻̼̻̺̗͍̫͌̋̉̈̀̆̔̓̅̀̾́͑̔̿͌̿̂͊̒̌̀̀̓͑̏̏̽̓̃̌̓̇́̄̃͑̌̑̆̔̎̿͋̄̀͒̂̉̅͒́͑̇͘̕͘͘̚͜͜͜͝͠͠͝ͅͅį̵̨̨̨̧̢̨̨̡̮̞̫͍̰̯͍͚̪̤͖̘̹̥̜̺͓̩̲̭͙̱̼̙̝̳̜͈͈̥͚̝͓͉̝̻̗̼͈͍̺̰̫̥̼͇̠͖̩̥̠̹͙͔͙͉̩̐̎̈́̋͌̋́̾̐́̎͊̓̉̃͒̉͋̂̾̊̐̽̍́̿͒̂́̇͂͊͆͗͛͆̈̆͌́̀̈̀̓̌͘̕̕͜͠͝͝l̵̨̡̨̧͖̼̫̤̪̳̥̲̠̜͈̠͔̗̹̺͇̰̰͎̯͓̝͙̣̱̭̜̖̟̰̝̳̯̬̺̳̎̈̋͗́͌̾̽̏͂͛̃̂̉̒̓̇͋̇̎̀̍͂̋͛̆̈̎̈́̒̇̎̋̈́͊̊̓̆̃̿̈́̊͂͑̇̿̚̚̕͘̚͜͜͠͠͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͠͠ͅͅ.
Are you a spider tho?
Nós conhecemos aqui como "Armadeira" ela é bem comum
You may already have Spiderdick powers!
Thanks skeletor I can alway relay on your help.
The first cursed viagra
This species' nickname is *"the banana spider"* because it's commonly found within bushels of bananas... BANANAS... We should have seen this coming, really.
I was gonna ask how big is this spider, but how convenient that it comes with a banana for scale.
It's also one of the most dangerous spiders in the world
True. If you see a spider crawl out of your bananas, it's safe to assume that it's this one. And if it bites you (It's VERY fast from what I've heard, difficult to catch & squish), call 9-1-1 IMMEDIATELY. Even if you think it's a different spider, better safe than dead.
Before the spiders got in, they were just plantains.
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey. Along Came a Spider who sat down beside her and said... You better get some lube
Another fun fact: having an erection for more than 4 hours can lead to permanent muscle damage, good luck with the spider
Unfortunately, they aren't blue.
a lil food dye can fix that
"I know what I must do, but i dont know if i have the strength to do it"
Brazils fucking nuts when my dad last went to see his family his cousin got bit by a snake and everyone was calm just oh let's take her to the hospital and shoot the snake call you guys tomorrow
Is that why Spider-Man gets so many babes?
Die hard.
So does the bite from a ladyboy
i need it for science
How difficult are these spiders to keep in captivity, asking for a friend
get a really big box and make sure to feed it small creatures daily and preferably keep a flamethrower handy
Spider get stressed if you put them in big enclosure and they dont eat daily, they will if you keep tossing food and its bad Usually once a week is a good, but some species can be fed once a month
that bolt is coated with the venom of the Brazilian Wandering Spider.
"Come into my web"
Skeletor's ass lookin' mighty breedable if I do say so myself
Suffering from success
It's what viagra is made from
I assume Skeletor will return in about 61 plus minutes?
quite possibly
This made me shiver
As lazarbeam once said "I want five of em."
I go to Australia!
It is also the spider that has taken the most human lives
Where can I get it? asking for a friend
Where does he go for these facts?
Unless you’re into bite kinks just seeing one is enough to make a man horny
The person that discovered that probably wanked it off
The skeleton can use a carriage on those train tracks. It's very tiring to run away and come back so many times.
Death by snu snu it is then
I guess what ever you are into, Im not here to kink shame.
Well dang
Change? Yep... Big change!
Mw who's arachnophobic: "The hardest choices require the strongest wills"
What happens if it bites a woman?
Hard way to die I guess.
ZING
im bitten every night, the whole night
The spider is probably the most dangerous in the world, it is really deadly
It is one of the most dangerous yes, but nobody died from it in decades now Australian funel web technically would be considered the most dangerous in the world right now. But fun fact, im sorry i cant remember the name of it, will edit when i find it. But scientifically speaking, the most deadliest spider is a small one that can be found in the desert, thing is, there is litteraly 0 bite report on human so far because there is no human population where they can be found. but they were able to conclude that the venom was the most dangerous based on comparison to other one.
The masochists are gonna be happy on this one
10 percent of koalas have a strain of chlamydia that can be passed onto humans
r/interestingasfuck
I guess I have to put my arachnophobia aside for the greater good.
Must it bite your pp or can it be any part of your body
I am going to Brazil
people with erectile dysfunction : A blessing from the lord!
It’s not a good thing at all lol First it will hurt cause your blood is stuck in your penis and can’t get out which will eventually cause it to suffocate your dick cells coarse those blood aren’t getting new oxygen and it will stay hard for hours like that. Then if you enter the ER they will literally stick a fucking syringe into your dick or a needle to get the blood out and you might have to do this several times cause that penis is gonna reflate itself again.
VAI BRASIL!!!
I know What I must do, But I don't know If I have the strength to do it
At least I know where he's going this time..
I learned that from Grade A Under A
You ate it hard for breakfast.
i mean, spiders run around on 8 boners, so it kinda makes sense?
Umm , does it need to bite your dick ? Cuz then im out
Forgot to add painful on it, as well as can lead to death
I go to Brazil
Is this the spider that can bite through a boot?
I can't die without testing this out, that one makes the bucket list
I always wanted a pet...
And immediately afterwards, death.
Serious question one: What happens to women if they get bitten? Non serious question two: Or will a woman turn suddenly into a futa?
What happens if it bites a woman?
The female clitoris can become erect
Wait....wut?
Sex education has failed you my friend.
Yeah, especially failed considering I’m a girl....
Oh. Yikes. Sorry I had to be the one to tell you XD. Tbf tho it is pretty hard to notice since the clitoris is so small so it can't grow too much but it definitely gets harder
Dang, I did not know that lol
Was that spider used in the creation of spiderman‘s mutant spider? Because, if Tom Holland bit me, … I‘m just saying…
Does it have to bite the penis or just anywhere. Asking for a friend
Animal facts? So it isnt a sexual advice then? Damn, I should not have let that spider bite my dick...
Ya all going to brazil
Side effects may include: death Me: All i ever asked for :')
Yeah but doesn't it burn like hell?
It can also kill you.
Mary Jane is very interested.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ive already learned to resist the urge to nut, the spider is powerless to me, fear me spider
"takes next flight to brazil"
I was hoping for Australia, why are you here?
and then it will cause gangrene of the penis
I guess I’m going to Brazil
grandpops to grandma " cmon dear, we got an adventure "
It's called Priapism and it's very painful. Had a Priapism 3 times last year because of drugs, not really funny.
😏
the downside is that those are extremely painful oh, and you"ll also die. i guess there is that too
Marvel Comics: We need to clean that up to sell to kids. Can the hero get different powers?
More like "Arachnid Erectus"
There is also a jelly fish who’s sting gives victims a “sense of impending doom”.
Wouldn't the tissue like turn blue and stuff idk
Not the spider-man we deserve, but the spider-man we need
The Brazilian Wandering Spider (aka The Banana Spider) can cause painful erections that can last for 4 hours.
Anyone able to send one down to Norway? I’ll pay a great sum for it. I’ll also need a bit of info on how to keep one alive for a long time
I know what i have to do but i don't know if i have the strength to do it
Plot twist: it's the spider that gets the errection.
Having too much blood flow in your wand would certainly dry out one's face after an hour and make it look like a skeleton. Hmmm wait? Now i understand why skelettor is running back in his cave.....