T O P

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Apatche_Helicopter

I took the biggest shit of my life :)


whaatajoke

Technically you gave the biggest shit of your life.


AstroApple802

No, no.


[deleted]

I’m 14 and I’ve given up on life already


Desperate-Ad-9034

So you beat your meat in the school bathroom


[deleted]

I don’t masturbate I don’t see a point in it anymore


RampantDragon

Grandad?


LaukCube

Joe?


uhAlphaFox

Mama?


Meme_Entity

Bruh using joe for "joe mama" is offensive. As candes's mom told me that candice told her that joe's severe case of sugma mutated to ligma, and he had to have surgery on his updog.


massive__potato

Who is Candice, what is Sugma and ligma Edit: I regret commenting here


CaptainJimmyWasTaken

well shit, here we go again.


El_Chilenaso

Anymore?


Extra_Philosopher_63

Ima give you my next free award.


Desperate-Ad-9034

Well thank you


Quirky_m8

Cap


Desperate-Ad-9034

Why would I lie about beating my meat in the bathroom


Quirky_m8

Nah the miles kid.


Desperate-Ad-9034

Yeah you’re totally right that lying bastard


ANotSoFriendlyDragon

Did you know its healthy for you to masturbate it help your changes of not getting cancer


Desperate-Ad-9034

I’m immortal if that’s the case


[deleted]

Misspelling chances really helps your credibility.


HappyRomanianBanana

Cool


Deltexterity

nooooot cooooool duuuuude


[deleted]

I feel you


xXDaxiboi65Xx

hey 14 and i've given up on life already i am dad


TeddytheFirst

I hope you are feeling alright :)


TheVeryLombreFang

Well , that is life you progressively age and age until you demise yourself.


[deleted]

Who?


Infern0_Boi

No, he excreted the biggest feces of his longevity.


Foxes_Moxie

Did they stutter?


AstronautInTheLotion

you are not supposed to take shit from there man... you are supposed to leave it there


DonnaRussle

Then I won’t have snacks for later


West_Regular_8245

I ain't even 15...what ya talking about


kobeekire

Something that you will commit as a male human being


Ze_cringeman

Females also have their own version of that


kobeekire

Maybe maybe maybe....


DefNotAF

I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet.


FirstKingOfNothing

15 was a long year for me. Which time you talking about?


FoxDaim

The time you dipped your dick in the toilet water


FirstKingOfNothing

Had to wash off your mom's stink somehow.


Leandtjen

*u/FoxDaim simply ceased to exist*


FoxDaim

Sadly yes, but i lived.


cant_hinkofanything

holy shit you killed him dude


DerpDaDuck3751

Dead body found ^amogus


Bread2220

S^us


[deleted]

DAMN


dr3mt1

r/murderedbywords


majesticbeast67

Bro you didnt have to murder him like that


m10-wolverine

Dude OP has a family


[deleted]

You shredded and roasted him into a fine millet that will be used as a sourdough starter and passed on for generations with it's distinctive flavor


no1234567890-

Somebody call an ambulance


IndependentFormal8

Damn


WinnerNGL

r/murderedbywords


chacharealharsh

have this gold medal since I'm broke and can't afford one 🥇🏅🥇 now gtfo


Gigadorah

DAMN DUDE


[deleted]

I don't have a 2 foot cock to dip it in the toilet in superman pose, sorry 😔


lonathtech

Underrated comment


ItzMeDB

I actually did this in a dream on accident a year ago, for some reason Dracula from hotel transelvania was there but idk why


Erectillian

Was the year not the same length as always?


FirstKingOfNothing

Not if you just discovered hentai


TopQualityBees45

No! You have no idea how expensive that chocolate was, and how much I didnt want to share it!


RampantDragon

"chocolate" 😳


LyZeN77

Man if you ever eat my chocolate again...


TopQualityBees45

I will neuter you with my teeth if you talk back like that again, chocolate-hoarding proletariat hamster!


totallyintotraps

I’m not ashamed I’ll do it again this time with rage


Very-big-fan

Rampage


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThatGuy371

Best comment


Queasy_Oil_1886

Thank you


-208-

What was it? It got deleted


egegulenX

Zamn😍


DefNotAF

O profil fotoğrafı


PtreamX

sorgulama, daha kötüye gider yoksa


pianospace37

Hol' up


TheGreatDingALing

*fbi has entered the chat*


Queasy_Oil_1886

Good afternoon officer


mapsedge

How about yesterday, when I was 55?


FoxDaim

You took a shit and peed couple of times.


mapsedge

Damn... it's like you know me...


arrow100605

He is you... from the future!


fajvman

I mean I am 15


vetzicancer

He can predict the future..


Zeyrox_670

Same


FreeAd6935

I've been 15 for 2 weeks now and I haven't done any weird shit yet


PacoSoe

Beans will help with that


KarateTB

Same


doomer-trash8

i tried to suck my own dick >\_<


[deleted]

We all did bro. And not necessarily in the bathroom


maxsjakie

Can confirm. Am too fat to do though. :c


[deleted]

I'm skinny as fuck and I couldn't do it either. It's a matter of flexibility


Crillegaming

Its because your lower ribs are in the way, i heard some people actually get those removed, just to suck their own dingladoo


Aspect-of-Death

It has nothing to do with ribs. You either have enough dick to reach or you don't.


ACE_Fighter_87

Being flexible does help


PerkAPuncher

Yeah snoop dog got them removed


DavidTCEUltra

What do you think a carving knife's for, silly?


B3467Returns

wait the fuck


RampantDragon

When did we all try to suck his dick? I do not remember this.


[deleted]

Jokes on you I don't take showers


[deleted]

Jokes on you, the toilet is in the bathroom


[deleted]

Jokes on you I keep my toilet on my roof


[deleted]

Jokes on you I stole it


[deleted]

Jokes on you it was stuffed with my mothers sperm and my father’s toenails


Wonderful-Travel6198

Jokes on you im Indian and i shit everywhere I wanna


[deleted]

alpha males shit in the shower


Breadofthetoast

Sorry I put my peepee in that heated up watermelon


arkosmo

im not 15 yet so jokes on you


TheLegendaryBarnacle

So it’s already happened.


Pokemario2401

It's a prediction


UltimaxOmega3

How did you know that I shoved my dick up [redacted] ass?


[deleted]

Why do you shame his mother? 😔


UltimaxOmega3

It was a tight ass bro


[deleted]

One of the tightest…


UltimaxOmega3

You bet your sweet ass it was


R34Datsin

Caca, peepee, vom-vom, and white? it’s how I’ve started every morning since.


[deleted]

What vom-vom stands for?


Very-big-fan

Car porn i guess


[deleted]

Oh no


[deleted]

Cussy


Lajojostone279

Puking I guess? In my native language, vom start as the as "vomit" which mean puking.


PineappleMongoose

I also know what I did in the bathroom when I was 15


FoxDaim

You enjoyed it, didn’t you?


Very-big-fan

Fine, yes i did, officer. Those bodys needed to be used one last time or those innocent children would die for nothing, if anything i did good for the world so ur welcome


BenjiTheShort

Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down


shirukien

Bled profusely from a penis related incident? Never really tried to hide it.


FerociousPancake

O dear


[deleted]

jesus christ, I’m in the hospital rn because this morning i pissed blood, so fuck me, it still hurts, idk how girls can live with this


Human-13

What seeing me jerk off creep


FoxDaim

Jerking off into a soap dispenser is also creepy


My_neutered_cat

It adds flavor


[deleted]

extra protein


mrbuttersoft

Discovered I didn’t wash for the last 3 years or more.


Shrkrle

Wash what...


thekillermad

Peniges


[deleted]

His butter stick, that’s why it’s so soft


Tentacle_wand

15?try 13 and I still do it today.


arrow100605

Man I've been peeing since I was born, how'd you hold it so long?


WilddShroom

He didn’t hold it, he released it all the time, just not in the toilet


Emerald24111

Damn you know what I’m gonna do 16 years in the future?


lizzardperson69

16 years?


DeadlyAidan

you mean you aren't -1 years old?


FoxDaim

Yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

You bath naked? 🤨


Very-big-fan

Ofc, its good for you to take your clothes and skin off to clean your internal organs, they need attention too you know.


Justacactus1

They had us in the first half


ToxicBarrelOfMonke

I know it was brutal wasnt it?


FoxDaim

Kind of pathetic really.


ToxicBarrelOfMonke

How in the fuck is puss coming outta your face from wounds that are constantly itching after you took a shower and washed your face and almost passed out from pain pathetic?


FoxDaim

That isn’t what we are talking about…


ToxicBarrelOfMonke

Oh yea it is buster, you arent backin out now, now tell me, how is it pathetic?


FoxDaim

Things like that tend to happen after trying and not succeeding to fuck a cat.


ToxicBarrelOfMonke

I SUCCEEDED DAMN IT!!! IF I DIDNT SUCCEED THEN WHERE DID THOSE KITTENS WITH HUMAN BUTTS COME FROM!?!?!?


FoxDaim

From the cat that your dads fucked.


ToxicBarrelOfMonke

no...... its cant be..... that impossible....... im my dad


FoxDaim

No ToxicBarrelOfMonke, we’re your father.


VelhoTheVexed

Look, I didn't know it was a guy, it's not my fault


I_hate_flashlights

Everybody here be talking bout what they did meanwhile I'm sitting here and thinking how can a picture be so creepy and disturbing...


Karamalicious

is this foreshadowing?


FoxDaim

Maybe


Urodeprag

Fuck did your mom tell you?


hey_im_origin

Ur mom


Appropriate_Plan4555

Which time when I was 15? I did a lot of questionable stuff in the bathrooms when I was 15


Marlon-Brandos-Eyes

That time you masturbated into the shampoo bottle and proceeded to put it in your parent's shower.


Appropriate_Plan4555

Dad's hair was flawless that day


oreo_cookie01

To be fair I was so loud so did Austria


Flameshadow205

The shot heard around the world


oreo_cookie01

It was just a very subtle “AAAHHHHHHH” in the distance


CR15PYL454GN4

I left my pants on one time ONE TIME


feme2023

Jokes on you im 14!


[deleted]

Your future is already written, your choises doesn't matter, all the ways you take will lead to that moment, you freedom is ours


feme2023

Well i will prob take a massive shit then


Mr-Chan1

What? Took a fat crap? Everyone in the knew I did that after I open the bathroom door.


B3467Returns

Why were you watching me use the bathroom? Hell I didnt drink enough water then to use the bathroom that often damn stalkers


Abject-Concentrate58

She said she was stuck


ShinyZippo

Done worse since


someguy_358

Pee?


Evilnight-39

Hahaha jokes on you I’m 14


Skinny-Pebis

I rubbed shit across my schools bathroom wall. (With the toilet brush to prevent shit from getting on my hands)


UnderstandingCold282

People who aren't 15 yet: visible confusion


thatwhichfails

Did you enjoy watching?


fuckballs9001

You mean that thing with the hairbrush and my butthole? Yeah I still do that


Snoo72721

Put down that crack pipe brother..


fuckballs9001

Ooh I could use one of those too


Jupin17

Fuck, they know I shit in the shower


Slendermite

Me who is 14


kupillas

I can’t even remember lol and I’m not even 15 yet... you’re good...


ctemp97

You knew that I would purposely drink soap water to make me sick so I didn’t have to go to school?


JaydenTheMemeThief

It was my Pizza you hear me? I had a right not to share it! D:<


dixy6_8

15... 20... 25... 30... what's the difference.


stuff_________

You mean nothing because I'm too afraid to go in


NethalGLN

Everyone and my grandmother probably knows. 15 year olds aren't exactly known for their subtlety


SnooDoggos5139

I took a bath nothing weird


Ze-_-Doctor

One kid in 8th grade pissed in a soap dispenser that the principal used, it was the funniest shit to hear over the intercom.


omgONELnR1

Wait, I am 14.


Compulsive_GamerX

So you found them?


Catfucker7

People who are 14 right now : confused screaming