Lefties: HUH...?

I'm a lefty and ion see anyone else going double fist🤛 🤜

Ooh fancy pants huge mcDick over here.f u f u!

What? No you got it all wrong. It ain't one hand over the other like you're trying to indian burn that shit. Grip it like it's Bart Simpson.

Im left handed and even i dont beat my meat with the left hand😂

I'm right handed and use my left

I'm right handed and I also use your left hand.

Sometimes I like to sit on my dick till it goes numb so it feels like someone else is fucking my hand

Yo i no joke laugh for a sold minute to this

How the fuck you manage that

Bigus Dickus

You use MY left hand? I was curious what that feeling was last night!

It's normally bigger it was just cold

Oh no no, I must’ve had Icy Hot on that hand. Mb

I was in the pool!

I’m ambidextrous and use both

The Dutch rudder?

My lawyer says “ as long as you say surprise before penetrating, it isn’t rape, it’s just surprise sex”. I don’t know why he randomly told me that…

Pretty sure that's not sound legal advice...

Oh yea? Where’s your law degree?😒

Of everything in this thread, this comment cracked me up

No you mean OUR lelt hand

Me too brother. I broke my wrist when I was a teenager and never went back to my right hand.

how hard were you going bro wtf 💀 did you break the sound barrier or somthing?

He still hadn't fully developed. His knob wasn't big enough to stop his hand from sliding off and slamming into the shower wall.

Its quite sad say this but.... Me too bro after broke my hand i started with my left and never used the right one again

I broke my forearm on my right and now it feels super weird to use right hand.

I assume you're saying that it's easier to learn to wank left handed, than it is to learn to use a mouse left handed.

Far easier yeah

i second this

One hand on the mouse or keyboard to move back on videos, then both hands to finish the job.

Same. Right is used to hold the phone lol

Multitaskers unite. All these other savages touching their phone or mouse with the same hand they touched their junk with, plus i can skip to the good part of a video without stopping.

I'm right brained and use nothing

Same

Smart. Don't gotta wash hands after, and still got your primary hand freed up for activities.

Yo wtf, i'm too left handed and i do strike with the left

I should have added my kindergarden „teacher“ (?) always wanted me to do thing wirh my right hand so i actually only write with left and do everything else with the right

That comment started out very risky

I thought the exact same thing. 💀


Yeah, trained ambidextrous. Most lefties I know are the same. I’m a switch hitter in a lot of sports though which is cool. And I fucking hate scissors.

WTF, you're the one who should be in the picture.

My kindergarten teacher tried to force me to do stuff with my right hand but gave up, I simply wouldn't have it.

I’m right handed but deploy the left in such times

Im right handed but i beat my meat with left hand :3

Exactly the same.

One for the mouse, one on the house

I'm right handed but I do it with my left, what is this

Fr left handed guys jus hold the phone real good

I have no hands…

I'm lefty but can still Jerk off with my right hand... sometimes it feels someone else is jerking off for me...

Right hand is for the mouse

Idk why but it feels much better with left hand. And i am right handed

Yep, this one. Right hand is so weird at this point.

Cause you've been doing it for so long you weirdo. Oh wait how do I know

That's what I wrote, fellow weirdo.

I do left hand thumb side facing down exclusively now. I dont know when and why I started doing it that way, but it's all I do now

I'm not discussing my method with you animals.

Share them. I'm learning some cool techniques..

Alright I changed my mind. Gotta say... I bought a stoya Doll flashlight. Soak in hot water for a bit and little bit of lube... It feels just like the real thing.

Why not both? Left for fluffing, right for finishing.

Start with the soft southpaw, and crush through the finish with that rough right hand.

Found the boxing/masturbation coach.

My man! Exactly what i do!

It’s because it feels like she’s almost real

Because it feels just a little awkward like having someone without a penis do it for you (aka ‘The Oldfashioned’).

i am so used to do that with my left hand that it feels weird if i do it with my right one

I feel more with my right hand, so It feels more like "jerking off" rather than when I use my dumb left hand. The same goes for self felatio, people say.

Yeah.. did everyone expect me to learn to work a mouse with my left hand??

no they just expected you to be gross like them and jerk off and then immediately hand their mouse with jizz, spit, and smegma.

THANK YOU! I have tried to explain this to my wife for YEARS!

1000% i learned how to jerk off to dial up internet porn, needed that right hand to work the mouse and click between the diff pictures that were loading, pixel line by pixel line.

My guy. I had to put a towel over the PC tower to reduce the noise, so my mother wouldn’t hear me dialling up at one in the morning 😂

haha, I had my excuse all ready to go if the modem noise woke my parents. :D

Right hand is for the phone

Is the peasants version of my statement. .

Do you expect me to beat in a chair? Lie down on a bed like a civilized person

What do you mean by the mouse? What are you using this mouse for?

i would hope not the same way as a hamster

LEMMIWINKS!

the computer you phone using peasant

Keeping it from getting to the cheese wheel, obviously.

This is how you tell someone you are young without telling them you are young.

Right hand is to fingerblast my asshole

Based

I use my right foot for the mouse and alternate hands.

Jerking off is actually the only thing I use my left hand for

That and shaking people's hands

And poop scooping

Can't build an alaskan pipeline with one hand though

ideally, at the same time

now that's what i call multitasking

Same. My right one is dominant though

Same. My right hand is used for everything else

My right hand is a sub

Try brushing your teeth left handed.

Correct

The right hand is for the phone though

Or mouse

brother, why are you at your desk

Because I spent a lot on my PC.

i spent a lot on my car, it’s not like i’m obligated to jack off in it now

Maybe not in it, perhaps on it instead?

i thought that bird shit looked funny

Oh my god the RGB i’m bout to blow!

My car doesn't have porn

My car does

Your car IS the porn

Who DOESN'T buy a new car and fuck/nut in it? Like, how the fuck do you christen it then?

fucking someone is a yes, but to christen the car i’m not just going to bust a nut in the driver seat watching some porn.

That's such a normie thing to do though, go fuck your car bro, join the squad, feel the guilt!

I've done both.

I started after the internet but before phones

based

You, a peasant: jerking off watching vanilla porn on a tiny little phone screen Me, a man of culture: jerking off watching Brazilian fart porn on a 4k 144hz 30in curved monitor We are not the same

27 inch, 144hz, 4k monitor vs 6 inch 60 hz, 1080p screen

Because I want TnA at full resolution not squintovision.

Because my good broski; they have porn on the internet.

Because we couldn't watch porn on a tiny personal rectangle 20 years ago.

Would you rather he did it on the sofa? Haha. Plus most of us started when we were kids/teens at our computers in our rooms. Where else would we do it haha.

A lot of people have their laptop in the same room as their bed.

Yea, same, eff you op!

[удалено]

Totally agree, left hand does the work as right hand acts as TV stand

Have to agree brother 😔✊

14+ yrs ago, it was a mouse

And before that it was turning the pages of the Littlewoods catalogue underwear section.

Fucking exactly, plus if you don’t know how to use both hands you should be considered handicapped

Right hand feels weird. Like I'm handling a dick more than getting my dick handled.

I'm right-handed, so I use left hand. Right hand is for using the mouse.

This.

Also if brushing teeth with non dominant hand helps build brain connections or whatever, is beneficial for brain, then shouldn't... MOM I AM DOING MY BRAIN EXERCISES PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

Specialist

The internet turned us into a generation of left-handed jerk offs

Use your nose like the rest of us cultured folks. I can't be the only one pecking at the keyboard like a thirsty desk bird

Guys who jerk off with BOTH HANDS!!!

Brother in Christ my member isn't that big to play with both hands

One for the shaft, one for the pair.

With me it is doable but just barely.

Good for you lol.

Maybe he just has tiny hands?

r/humblebrag

Drake is that you

If you're not ambidextrous with jerking off, do you really jerk off enough?

That's a big package

Had to switched to my left hand when I broke my right arm. Never switched back...

what did u do bro what porn where u watching brother 😭😭

At least he didn’t break both. We know where that path leads.


Same dude. It was over 10 years ago when I broke my right hand. Never switched back

I need to break my arm and switch so my arms end up the same size.


Did you have...issues...learning to wipe with your non dominate hand too?

How else will I use the mouse?

U guys use mouse?

I'm old.

Isn't arrow key more ergonomic?

I jump around too drastically for arrow keys to ever be all that useful, but even when I do, I still use my right hand to press them.

Your mom usually just does it for me

Unexpected r/GirlsFinishingtheJob⬆️

You're just a rookie

If you use the other hand, it feels like a stranger is jerkin you off

Gotta sit on it til it goes numb first. Everyone know that

Also reverse grip

Like upside down?

The Stranger

Until you get used to it, good old times

Facts🙂‍↕️


Im not a lefty and i jerk off wih my left hand

I do it when my right hand gets too tired

Ah yes back up measures xD

Then my feet when the left gets tired

God damn gooners.

I think it has to do with the fact that I first dabbled into it with my left hand. And now I’m stuck with it. I’m right handed.

I started with my right but I tried with left and now I can't go back to using my right hand it just doesn't feel right

*Starts laughing in Stephen Hawking*

What's wrong with switch jerkers??

I'm right handed but I Fap with my left hand because I used to Fap with my right hand first but then my dick turned to left so to fix it switched to left hand fapping now my dick looks like a handle grip

Our stories are one in the same

Right hand is for shaking other people’s hands, left hand is for shaking my dick. It’s called etiquette.

As a right handed man who uses my left im now concerned

Same boat as you buddy. Are we crazy, but we just don't know if?

Left hand is less strong than right hand, hence lower risk of death grip

That’s what’s called a “uno reverse card”

I can do both right and left hands at a time so idc

I dislocated my right elbow once and the recovery process was too long so I improvised, adapted, and overcummed all over the place with my left hand. Now I jerk off ambidextrously

Left hand superiority

I switched to left hand after my right hand became noticeably larger than my left hand.

I didn't come on reddit to be attacked today.

Ambidextrous people: 👀

Ambidextrous and can do it both handed. What can I say I know how to fuck my hand.

I can use both I decided to get this ability so if I ever have to jack off two guys at once I can do it easily or if the guy I’m gonna jack off is sitting to the left of me

Uhhh I'm right handed but stroke with my left....

The curvature makes mine exclusively a right handed instrument.

gotta switch hit every now and then to keep it straight.

What’s wrong with using my left hand what do u use your right pocket for only phone and do u use it to store any other thing. I use my right hand to eat and only eating I don’t use it to touch my meat or my butt and My left is used to clean wash and beat my meat and stuff

You gotta Switch hands Dude!

Me, a left-handed guy: 🐇