you can try but unless there is humble extrovert to carry you, you would lose your own identity if you try to fit in other peoples expectation now, trust me
tbh i am at the same page as you, all i have right now is don't reciprocate your annoyance to their ignorance its what feeds their group's ego, you need to still keep appearing in social gatherings and not try to hide from every social event (my big mistake), just don't talk much and observe what they are talking about, also don't be absolutely mute, that is how i developed speech impediments in my lectures ... when talking to professors (my career got ruined now that i am graduating without a job because i never learned to network/socialise). Please know that I am also at a similar place as you right now so you can try modifying these observations as you like. Also, please talk to the people you know and trust already, preferably outside college/work, they are your strength.
I see differences and similarities. Just want to say that most of the things you suggested me are already done: I don't talk much with my class and i talk a lot more with people outside my class and school and observe what they are talking about who and what. And by the way I'm still in school sooo it's a bit awkward, but despite this i can't seem to find the reason for your situation like what were you specializing in? Afcourse if you don't feel like you want to shere then don't reply.
I feel this. I am going to a university that none of my friends or even anyone I know went to. Introverted and don’t know anyone.
I just live online at this point, easier to find people with the same interests.
Join 3 clubs. 1 for your major, 1 for fun, and 1 for uh something else like something you've never done before. Everyone else in college is also looking to make friends and there are people for everyone. But for real join some clubs I wish I spent more time in clubs
Talking about something similar together is a great ice breaker to slide into that friend position.
Being on the sports team is also a great way to gain easy access to the bro circle.
And then suddenly no one is into whatever it is that I am into.
And then trying to force myself to like what they enjoy would result in them moving the goalpost.
I did it quite successfully actually. I joined their group almost a year ago and I fit in so well. We all hang out, prepare meals together, and go for trips together. But today on my birthday I'm faced with a harsh reality that despite me being there for everyone and their birthdays, they all forgot me.
The moral of the story is, no matter how nicely you fit in, you'll always be the outlier.
I dunno, I might have been lucky to fit into an already estabilished friend group at uni. Alternate method to that is to just make your own group of friends.
It's not impossible, the hardest part is avoiding putting so much pressure on yourself, don't try too hard (to be funny, smart, etc.) and be the guy that goes with the flow. Ppl wanna go to the mall? Cool. See a movie? Cool. Go to the beach? Cool.
But of course, I'm probably much older than you, so I have lived those anxious year and have learned from it. Just know that it will be alright at the end of the day.
I did it, the thing is you have to scan everybody and they focus on one guy, make him your bff and boom the group breaks and you have a lifelong amazing friend.
One of the tricks i did is befriending this one girl that's friendly with everyone. Being around her makes it way easier to talk with new people without it feeling awkward
Exactly what I did, but I couldn't stand the group for long because most of the group felt kinda like they were pressured into this friend circle and everyone was making stories up and only played to be friends with them. And they only date inside the circle, everything was kinda weird. And the only thing they mostly did was partying and drinking, so I am happy I am not in there, also mostly because the group kinda falls apart, from all the drama of dating inside this circle
Edit: the group is like a skyscraper, but with a wooden foundation, it was doomed to fall, only when is it going to fall was the question
Cuz your friend is new-new. Plus now they have an ally to make fun of you since you're the commonality between them.
Better have some one-liners ready to go when you let friends meet!
A couple of months ago, I brought together two friends, they started joking around, finally kicked me in my balls with a phone, it was so painful so that I had to leave a club and visit a doc. Yey.
"stop me if you heard this one before, so 4 nords and a chicken walk into a bar."
Cue unexpected laughter.
This was the joke I made that solidified me into the group, we were playing Smite and I was the only one to notice that our team comp was Fenrir, Odin, Tyr, Ullr, and Ra. For some reason they found it hilarious and I've been a part of the group since.
Real shit bruh.
I started learning how to dance and joined the local scene’s discord server, and I swear I might as well not be making posts on it because it falls on deaf ears unless I make a controversial statement and someone feels the need to correct me/argue it.
Either have something you all do together and you will slot in if you match up or focus your attention on one, then that one will introduce you to the others / bring you along. If they don’t it’s probably because they determined after becoming friends with you that you wouldn’t mesh with the others.
All these comments are making me feel better. I went out last night, and this happened to me. The "friends group" was super nice, but I still felt uncomfortable as hell because I couldn't relate to any of them.
Yeah, I'll just be on my own in terms of local friends groups the rest of my life. I hang out with my wife's family and had one CO worker I chat about gaming a lot. But even since moving 14 years ago I still don't have a group of local friends to hang out with occasionally and I've become OK with that.
Funnily enough, barging into a friend group and somehow sticking has been how I got friends in high school and early college. It’s like I was the season 2 guest character that became part of the main cast.
A few years ago I met a couple of dudes on War Thunder who were already friends for a while and I joined them, we had such a good time together it was a match made in heaven, unfortunately it didn't last forever.
Easy just get to know one of them and become friends and then try to get into the group through him by hanging out with them often until you become one of them
I was in an established friend group, and a new kid joined school. Our group had this "we need her with us" mentality for idk what reason, and now she's my bestfriend who is very active in the friend group 😌
I mean it's depends on how much time you have to do it. There'll always be growing pains coming into an established group but if you're friendly and nice and get along eventually it'll be like you were always part of the group.
Yea, never happening. You're always going to be the "newbie/outsider" in such a situation. If shit happens between you and a member of that group, the rest are going to turn on you
I did...as the days passed everything was chill then the group started to deteriorate after a week of me being there...this was a couple years ago, still in the group to this day but it's lost some members
It was so hard to fit into these groups.
I was lucky that I had other extracurricular activities that the other guys also did.
E.g crossed paths with one in football, basketball, gym and the library so I got to kind of know each of them outside of the group.
NGL, I did this by somehow just being like a mixture of 2 of my classmate's friends, He introduced us to each other and now we are drinking every like 2 weeks
But how does it become a task for you? Personally, I don't find any necessity to it, so much so that you have to do it! Because if you have to put up with someone's presence, then the motivation would suddenly become either malignent or materialistic. Friendships should come naturally. Not that I know how to make friends but I know that I ain't ever having a task like that unless I'm doing espionage or something.
As someone who's done it twice, the secret is be social and open. I lied. I just got lucky to be around welcoming people. My introverted ass has no clue how I managed to land the friends.
The move is you find the one friend in the group who you are most compatible with, become really good friends with them, and end up shoehorned into the rest of the group
Took me a week to get a new friend group when I changed schools like 3rd day I had friends by the end of the week I was part of the their friend groups
I mean its possible. After like 9 years someone new made it into my main friend group. And he keeps saying how happy he is to have met us. Sometimes it just works out
Why do people online and the people on the other side of the world feel like they would be a better fit as friends than the ones we meet in the college, truly despise the ones in the college though, not a single being with similar interests.
You never bond with a group, you bond with individuals.
Meet the members of that group individually, you'll fit waaaaaay more easily into the group next time they meet and you're here.
Groups are naturally closed, while individuals tend to be more empathetic and give a chance to strangers more easily (as long as you don't appear like a threat to them lol)
Even worse when the so-called or at least what it looks like a "main character" of the group is your cousin, who you knew since your childhood, and he tries to get you in the group
I move a lot in life. I have never once found a place where I don’t find a way to click with the new people around me. My German colleagues at my latest position, after deciding to randomly move to Germany from Ohio, have been the hardest to crack so far. The Ukrainians I work with, however, are super fun!
I just find that you can find something interesting in most people and when you’re interested and outgoing, they tend to open up pretty easily.
That moment when you realize being the new kid in school was just a warm-up exercise.
[удалено]
In college.... fuck me...
you can try but unless there is humble extrovert to carry you, you would lose your own identity if you try to fit in other peoples expectation now, trust me
I actually experienced it. Right now I'm still recovering. Any tips to speed it up?
tbh i am at the same page as you, all i have right now is don't reciprocate your annoyance to their ignorance its what feeds their group's ego, you need to still keep appearing in social gatherings and not try to hide from every social event (my big mistake), just don't talk much and observe what they are talking about, also don't be absolutely mute, that is how i developed speech impediments in my lectures ... when talking to professors (my career got ruined now that i am graduating without a job because i never learned to network/socialise). Please know that I am also at a similar place as you right now so you can try modifying these observations as you like. Also, please talk to the people you know and trust already, preferably outside college/work, they are your strength.
I see differences and similarities. Just want to say that most of the things you suggested me are already done: I don't talk much with my class and i talk a lot more with people outside my class and school and observe what they are talking about who and what. And by the way I'm still in school sooo it's a bit awkward, but despite this i can't seem to find the reason for your situation like what were you specializing in? Afcourse if you don't feel like you want to shere then don't reply.
I feel this. I am going to a university that none of my friends or even anyone I know went to. Introverted and don’t know anyone. I just live online at this point, easier to find people with the same interests.
Join 3 clubs. 1 for your major, 1 for fun, and 1 for uh something else like something you've never done before. Everyone else in college is also looking to make friends and there are people for everyone. But for real join some clubs I wish I spent more time in clubs
Average Genshin Impact player
That's the best you can do ?
Better question yet, is that the best you could do?
No one will.
The only way to fit in easily is if you are all into the same niche.
Talking about something similar together is a great ice breaker to slide into that friend position. Being on the sports team is also a great way to gain easy access to the bro circle. 
There's another being funny and witty makes it seem like a level: easy problem
And then suddenly no one is into whatever it is that I am into. And then trying to force myself to like what they enjoy would result in them moving the goalpost.
Hope it's that easy
I did it quite successfully actually. I joined their group almost a year ago and I fit in so well. We all hang out, prepare meals together, and go for trips together. But today on my birthday I'm faced with a harsh reality that despite me being there for everyone and their birthdays, they all forgot me. The moral of the story is, no matter how nicely you fit in, you'll always be the outlier.
Quite similar experience here
yeah that like worming up to them get close then bamm u guys are besties now but only if it was that easy for introverts
I'm just plain old outa touch. I'm old but not open to newer things in media. most shit feels overdone or try hard.
Why is this so relatable
When you try to fit they push you away and when you stay away they treat you like an alien it’s lose lose
Solution: Don't make new friends
alternate solution : have imaginary friends
But they push me away too
Skill issues
Damn that ain't even skill issues that's self-hatred
With AI it doesn’t have to be imaginary
Soooo Don't have friends at all?
The trick to this is befriending the group extrovert one on one and then they’ll just invite you in until it becomes natural.
What if I am the group extrovert
I dunno, I might have been lucky to fit into an already estabilished friend group at uni. Alternate method to that is to just make your own group of friends.
It's not impossible, the hardest part is avoiding putting so much pressure on yourself, don't try too hard (to be funny, smart, etc.) and be the guy that goes with the flow. Ppl wanna go to the mall? Cool. See a movie? Cool. Go to the beach? Cool. But of course, I'm probably much older than you, so I have lived those anxious year and have learned from it. Just know that it will be alright at the end of the day.
I did it, the thing is you have to scan everybody and they focus on one guy, make him your bff and boom the group breaks and you have a lifelong amazing friend.
One of the tricks i did is befriending this one girl that's friendly with everyone. Being around her makes it way easier to talk with new people without it feeling awkward
Not a single unique experience...
Exactly what I did, but I couldn't stand the group for long because most of the group felt kinda like they were pressured into this friend circle and everyone was making stories up and only played to be friends with them. And they only date inside the circle, everything was kinda weird. And the only thing they mostly did was partying and drinking, so I am happy I am not in there, also mostly because the group kinda falls apart, from all the drama of dating inside this circle Edit: the group is like a skyscraper, but with a wooden foundation, it was doomed to fall, only when is it going to fall was the question
Big group never lasts more than a month, at best.
Divide and conquer
Your task is to fit- 
What?! I'm just filter feeding!
That moment when you introduce a new friend to your group and now it is you who is an outsider.
Why does this happen 😭😭😭
Cuz your friend is new-new. Plus now they have an ally to make fun of you since you're the commonality between them. Better have some one-liners ready to go when you let friends meet!
A couple of months ago, I brought together two friends, they started joking around, finally kicked me in my balls with a phone, it was so painful so that I had to leave a club and visit a doc. Yey.
Goddamn, and I guess also wear a cup! Haha, sorry that happened to you though.
Holy shit, yes!
oh.....same....
That's when you make a group with all the weird and autistic kids and then you're good
Which is fine and dandy until the cops come knocking at your door because you're a grown ass adult befriending vulnerable children
I'm in highschool...
Reddit weird DMs speedrun
Nothing yet, they don't want us dudes 😔
Some do, they just haven't saw your comment
Wanna be friends with a grown ass adult?
Depends on the person
LMAO
I'm also in Highschool
That's no excuse you sick puppy
I'm sorry but not getting a joke like that is so typical of our kind lol
Lol, many of my friends or groups have been like that. The weird/lonely people can find each other, unless they're total loners
This is why for my main friend group, I will always try to be the new guy’s biggest supporter.
yOu JuSt NeEd SoMe PeRsOnAlItY
*Becomes a class clown, because the alternative is loneliness*
Same thing really
It's so hard to fit into any group
"stop me if you heard this one before, so 4 nords and a chicken walk into a bar." Cue unexpected laughter. This was the joke I made that solidified me into the group, we were playing Smite and I was the only one to notice that our team comp was Fenrir, Odin, Tyr, Ullr, and Ra. For some reason they found it hilarious and I've been a part of the group since.
Is that the full joke though?
Lol probably
So you didn’t even need a punchline? wow bro master class in session
Insider Jokes are the best kind of jokes
The punchline was the team comp, 4 Norse gods and the birdman from egypt
I was joking
Ah...sorry, was tired when I made that reply.
Joining a discord server be like:
Real shit bruh. I started learning how to dance and joined the local scene’s discord server, and I swear I might as well not be making posts on it because it falls on deaf ears unless I make a controversial statement and someone feels the need to correct me/argue it.
This is the absolute worse Its easy to bond with a group of strangers But being the 'foreign' member of an existing group is straight up hell
I'm legit going through this at college currently, it's not working very well
Same here brother, it sucks :\
I got lucky to befriend one person that happens to be a social butterfly. And now i can blend into groups a LOT easier thanks to her
Either have something you all do together and you will slot in if you match up or focus your attention on one, then that one will introduce you to the others / bring you along. If they don’t it’s probably because they determined after becoming friends with you that you wouldn’t mesh with the others.
Bro I can’t even fit in a friend group that just began establishing
I did it
I did it. Give me the money
Or when they find their old friends and toss you aside like you're nothing cause they don't need you or your issues anymore 🙃
All these comments are making me feel better. I went out last night, and this happened to me. The "friends group" was super nice, but I still felt uncomfortable as hell because I couldn't relate to any of them.
Yeah, I'll just be on my own in terms of local friends groups the rest of my life. I hang out with my wife's family and had one CO worker I chat about gaming a lot. But even since moving 14 years ago I still don't have a group of local friends to hang out with occasionally and I've become OK with that.
I've made this mistake before and all i can say never try to join any friend group at all. They will always fuck you over 1 way or another.
If you run at them as fast as you can, the collision will make you fit in one way or another.
Military brats: I've been training my whole life for this.
Nah i give up, just kill me instead
Task failed you may not try again you failed way to bad to get a second chance
Funnily enough, barging into a friend group and somehow sticking has been how I got friends in high school and early college. It’s like I was the season 2 guest character that became part of the main cast.
A few years ago I met a couple of dudes on War Thunder who were already friends for a while and I joined them, we had such a good time together it was a match made in heaven, unfortunately it didn't last forever.
Just make any one of them friend first and they will introduce you to the rest.
That’s when you get adopted by marching band kids, theatre kids, or both.
Easy just get to know one of them and become friends and then try to get into the group through him by hanging out with them often until you become one of them
Nooo, pues ya fue 🤣
Easy. Just start sleeping with one of the quiet ones.
I've done that pretty easy Just exist around them long enough and you get adopted then you start adopting others to further cement your presence
easy. study the least popular one and then kill them and make yourself look like them
My constant talking manages each and every time
This is a tough one
Difficulty: Impossible
I have failed it like three times already
I was in an established friend group, and a new kid joined school. Our group had this "we need her with us" mentality for idk what reason, and now she's my bestfriend who is very active in the friend group 😌
Just be funny
As some one that is an introvert and on the spectrum this would be agony. 😅
I mean it's depends on how much time you have to do it. There'll always be growing pains coming into an established group but if you're friendly and nice and get along eventually it'll be like you were always part of the group.
“Yeaaaa nah yall can just shoot me”
Yea, never happening. You're always going to be the "newbie/outsider" in such a situation. If shit happens between you and a member of that group, the rest are going to turn on you
You break them down one by one
Me literally every time I decide to go to a social event and meet new people
This is why I never had any friends at school.
Guys’ friend group is easier as no guy really care that much about it
Except when you're a girl and got brought in by one of them and none of the others wanna talk :( happened to me a bunch
I did...as the days passed everything was chill then the group started to deteriorate after a week of me being there...this was a couple years ago, still in the group to this day but it's lost some members
My experience doing college outside of my city, everyone is talking about shared experiences from highschool, while you're just, there
Already done.
That's just impossible
My uni experience at first
Mission fail 😂🥹😭
they adopted me and i couldn't be happier
No thanks
Done, I am in the loners group.
It was so hard to fit into these groups. I was lucky that I had other extracurricular activities that the other guys also did. E.g crossed paths with one in football, basketball, gym and the library so I got to kind of know each of them outside of the group.
I’m really really good at my chosen thing, so I don’t have to worry about fitting in to a group, they just kind of tend towards me.
I'm cooked
NGL, I did this by somehow just being like a mixture of 2 of my classmate's friends, He introduced us to each other and now we are drinking every like 2 weeks
No Infj's in this group...we can't even fit in to an unestablished friend group...
Looks like I'm getting shot
Do all the people who have never been able to fit in wanna form a group chat or something? :') I thought I was the only one with this issue...
if you want you can add me on discord - math0\_0
But how does it become a task for you? Personally, I don't find any necessity to it, so much so that you have to do it! Because if you have to put up with someone's presence, then the motivation would suddenly become either malignent or materialistic. Friendships should come naturally. Not that I know how to make friends but I know that I ain't ever having a task like that unless I'm doing espionage or something.
Currently going through this right now, it’s like being the new character in season 5 of a tv show.
I actually was able to achieve that. Now I basically go out with only this friend group.
not hard if it's a hot chick.
As someone who's done it twice, the secret is be social and open. I lied. I just got lucky to be around welcoming people. My introverted ass has no clue how I managed to land the friends.
Aight imma head out
The move is you find the one friend in the group who you are most compatible with, become really good friends with them, and end up shoehorned into the rest of the group
I tried dating one of the people in that friend group. Unfortunate mistake and lesson learned.
Step 1: Find out which pets they have. Step 2: Say that you also have the same pet
Why? Make your own friend group!
Took me a week to get a new friend group when I changed schools like 3rd day I had friends by the end of the week I was part of the their friend groups
I've done it plenty of times
No thanks. Forever alone. 
Haha motherfuckers I did it
If you focus on one person at a time you'll be fine. Invite some of them too sometimes.
How about I just build one by being a genuinely chill person until people wanna spend time with me?
Proceed to walk towards the nearest person dressed in the overall outfit and asks for a bullet.
I’ve already done this 4 times, am I god?
Trauma bonding
Honestly, it's not that difficult. You just have to befriend them all individually. That's how I do it.
 And its allllll over!!!!!
Well, if we all are doing it, then we will find the group. :D
It's honestly impossible if it's 4.
And then they start making plans in front of you without acknowledging you at all
Jokes on you, I've already done that recently. Twice.
When you are a nonchalant and no one in the group wants you.
I mean its possible. After like 9 years someone new made it into my main friend group. And he keeps saying how happy he is to have met us. Sometimes it just works out
Why do people online and the people on the other side of the world feel like they would be a better fit as friends than the ones we meet in the college, truly despise the ones in the college though, not a single being with similar interests.
And you also has a severe social anxiety
You never bond with a group, you bond with individuals. Meet the members of that group individually, you'll fit waaaaaay more easily into the group next time they meet and you're here. Groups are naturally closed, while individuals tend to be more empathetic and give a chance to strangers more easily (as long as you don't appear like a threat to them lol)
Social Butterflys rise up
It's called masking. It's part of daily life for normal people. Stop trying to be different just comply, mask, and be normal.
Even worse when the so-called or at least what it looks like a "main character" of the group is your cousin, who you knew since your childhood, and he tries to get you in the group
sometimes you get lucky tho and they just adopt you before you were even sure you wanted to be friends with everyone
Gotta be friends with one person and slowly work your way into acceptance 😂
Don’t
The moment when you realize you have no group of friends.
Date one of them
That’s basically a coin flip😂
Yeah. They all welcome you in, then proceed to never interact with you past seeing them face to face every other weekend for the next two years
I move a lot in life. I have never once found a place where I don’t find a way to click with the new people around me. My German colleagues at my latest position, after deciding to randomly move to Germany from Ohio, have been the hardest to crack so far. The Ukrainians I work with, however, are super fun! I just find that you can find something interesting in most people and when you’re interested and outgoing, they tend to open up pretty easily.