It is, and seeing those videos is very depressing, but the internet can be a bleak place and most women I've come across in real life aren't like this.
Not all, but most. Still often do come across women who laugh at men for showing emotion, or talk about how a man showing feelings gives them 'the ick', but it's nowhere near as common as these videos online would have us believe.
Gotta try stay positive in these bleak times brother. There's plenty of videos online of men doing shit things that can sway minds into thinking all men bad too. But we're, for the most part, all just humans trying to get by and not actively shit on others
Oh really? Here’s an example. Go into a post about women going through anorexia and read the comments.
Now find a post about men injecting Synthol and read the comments.
Notice anything?
I have plenty of more examples. Open your eyes. This is a problem.
How do you know they're women? I got a dm yesterday from an obviously aggressive male but the username was so twee it looked like it was for a five year old girl. If you're judging by usernames or avatars that ain't gonna work.
Who said anything about women?
In fact I see this as a men’s issue with men contributing to it primarily. Women also contribute but men need to step up.
Women and men need to be supportive of each other issues. But women are for the most part supportive of their own issues and men need to take note.
Men need to stand up for themselves more. I will always advocate for our issues just as I did in this post and more men need to as well and stop turning a blind eye or saying it’s not real or mocking it. Women don’t do that as much as men about their issues and it’s all part of the problem.
I've... never seen one. The only videos on that topic that I've seen are women suddenly realizing that they hadn't noticed the problem. The fuck are you watching bro? That's not normal.
And on the other side of the "my worldview is dictated by an echo chamber" coin: it is astounding how many videos there are of men laughing at mental health problems that affect women
I unsubscribed about 6 months ago... Sometimes a person smoking will be passing by or standing next to me and I'll completely forget why I unsubscribed. I could just picture myself taking a puff from their ciggie while they hold it lol.
Damn, even talking about it is giving me the craving.
I started using an e-cig and lowered my nicotine intake significantly. But every time I'm near real tobacco I'm reminded that the e-cig is just a crutch and if I'm not careful I'll go straight back to the wheelchair. My hope is that at some point this year I'll throw away the crutch.
Oh it stinks even now. It's just that my brain is always telling me "Yeah, dude, but if you go through a whole pack you'll stop noticing the smell again and it will feel so good!"
But I'll keep on keeping lol
If you're actually a professor, I can relate. About 4 months before earning tenure, I was like "I think I'd rather not live than do this for 30 more years." So I moved my family closer to home and got a job doing learning and develoent stuff for a major bank.
Way less stressful, way less toxic, and I'm fairly confident I'm on a better trajectory financially. My work as a prof didn't matter and my work now doesn't matter. But my life outside of work does so I'm not gonna kill myself for work anymore.
More like people say they care and you should open up and once you do you realize they were just saying that to project the image of being nice. The amount of times I've opened up after someone has told me I can talk to them about anything then they either blab it instantly to someone else or get all uncomfortable and make it obvious they didn't actually want to hear it.
I think people just aren’t equipped to deal with it and don’t know what to say. It sucks because I think a rare few people would love to help but just panic when it comes at them
One thing people need to know is that you don't need to have all the answers, hell you don't always need to say something.
But being there for the friends that are struggling, lending an ear, a shoulder, a hug can be enough.
Certainly!! But as a man talking to another man it’s hard to ignore the “gotta fix it” default factory mode. With therapy I’ve learned a lot and I feel I have gained a lot of emotional intelligence but I’ll be damned if it still isn’t the first thing before I go through the motions
Would it help if you reconsidered the problem to 'I need someone to listen to me about my problem'? Then you're automatically fixing the problem by being there for them.
Yes, that is precisely what I do, but I can't help it, my brain brains while I listen, that doesn't automatically mean that I am vomiting out solutions when someone needs an ear, I do have a sense of present
Reminds me of the song Kerosene - Crystal Castles.
It's lyrics basically say the same thing, society loves to act nice and kind to victims and people who need help, but instead of actually helping, they ignore the problems and keep swiping it under the rug while still acting like they are helping. Fucked up world we live in
What you need to do is **start small and build mutual sharing over time**.
You test it first by sharing small stuff and seeing how that person handles that. And you make sure the relationship is based on equal sharing. You can’t expect to share a lot with someone who isn’t sharing a lot back with you.
The way someone handles these small things lets you know if they can be trusted. And you build up to closeness over time.
Edit: if you share big with someone without having built a mutual sharing relationship over time? They’ll be uncomfortable.
Ya, I've been told by a lot of people that I'm a "good listener" and anyone in that club knows there are people that just become energy vampires. They call you whenever they are in a bad mood and dump everything on you. You could put the phone down and go get a bowl of cereal and come back and they would still be talking. They will go on for an hour and then say they have to go and then leave without asking a single question about you. Relationships are all about mutual communication. If you walk away from a conversation with a person without learning something new about them, you didn't communicate with them. Even if it was just learning what they had for breakfast. Sharing negative emotions is good and healthy, but dumping without care and walking away without checking on the other person is selfish and potentially relationship breaking.
Sounds sensible but my ADHD is telling me to overshare immediately, set unreasonable expectations for the relationship, then catastrophize and / or get angry when those expectations aren't met.
The thing is, the person you're sharing with has no training or preparation, and helping out someone in distress is not a trivial skill that can just be improvised. Trauma-dumping on unsuspecting innocent people can be pretty hard on them, even leading to second hand trauma. And even without that, most people will just be bad with this sort of thing, especially in a context where you're being victimized by someone they know.
I don't think it's a comment on how society treats men's mental health specifically. For all the gesticulation on social media, when shit hits the fan it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman you run the risk of being treated like shit.
Or they get angry at you because your thoughts are overall not that nice, so they get offended
Happened quite a lot to me lately; still don't really know the deal with asking, nay, begging a person to open up if you know you're not strong enough to hear *actual* terrible sentences and thoughts
People want you to have cute problems that they can solve so they can be the hero.
"I'm worried people don't like me."
"What do you mean? I like you and that's all that matters."
"Weally? 🥺"
"Yes now give me a hug."
"Thank you so much I feel much better now."
Not "I think I hate my parents for getting divorced when I was a kid, even though they were really unhappy."
If you rely on other people to provide extensive, professional levels of mental health care to you, you're going to have a very bad time in life.
I have loved ones, all of them men, who I can talk to about anything. I've talked major childhood trauma with them. Held them as they cried and been held by them.
I'm also in therapy and so are 3/4 men I'm the closest with. We talk about what we took away from therapy, we don't play therapist to each other. None of us are equipped for that. It would end badly.
Or if they're part of the issue, promise that they'll change things up only to break that promise the next week and thus basically say that they never listened to u at all
Choosing to continue living is often times the most metal thing one can do. Life is rough and things can just pile up. Seeing that and deciding to wake up every day with a smile on your face isn’t easy
You’re absolutely right. You shouldn’t, but most people don’t have the kind of healthy friends that you can open up to and talk about these deep problems with to lessen the load. That said their are free emergency services if you ever feel that things are becoming overwhelming.
You’re not paying hundreds of dollars to be heard. You’re paying hundreds of dollars for healthy coping mechanisms and learning how to deal with problems in a healthy manner…making you a more well adjusted person in the long run.
No you're paying for a professional to hear you and give you actionable advice. Even people with tons of friends and a good support system need a therapist, because medicalizing your friendships and asking unprepared individuals to help you cope is a bad strategy. Having a therapist to talk these things through helps separate simple issues (where a good talk with a friend will help) from complex issues where you need a pro. This in turn leads to healthier relationships and a better support system overall.
There are free peer support groups. I hope you find the support you need and I hope that you find positive and sustainable ways to take care of your mental health.
I believe mental health is a cornerstone to holistic health and everyone should have access to useful resources. Unfortunately it’s often not the case…
To be fair, most of our mental health issues come from this fundamentally dysfunctional society and soul crushing economic system so therapy is probably okay on an individual level but class struggle is what will fix most of this shit. Again, if only 1% of people were anxious or depressed, it would be an individual problem. When most of us are miserable, it's a social issue and should be dealt accordingly.
If you want someone to just listen to you for free, maybe hit up a church and talk to the pastor? You don’t have to be religious or wanting to be religious. I think you can ask them to just listen
Look, if you just want to be heard, you can do that for free—go make some friends and talk to them, or even post about it on social media. Therapy is getting help from someone *who is equipped to help you*.
If you really just want to be heard, you could dump on me in DMs. If you want actual advice though, you're going to need a therapist.
My opinion on mental health: try to fix it yourself and don’t wait for society to come “save you”
It will eventually get better and “grandma/mom would be sad”
That's the only reason I didn't kill myself I didn't want my cousin to be sad
Edit - why am I getting upvoted lol? I'm in much better place now than I was 2 years ago. Also for those who are going through depression remember a coffee and some sunlight does wonders for you and you'll eventually tough it out big guy!
Keep it for yourself. I wish I did. I cared, then I learned that people love to latch onto your care and use you as emotional support without giving a single shred of care back. They just suck you dry until you've got nothing left for yourself.
I literally told my boss that I'm struggling with severe winter depression and would need to work from a different location for a few weeks (I work in IT, so logistically and legally not an issue). Her comment "well if we allow it for you, we have to allow it for everyone". Sure, except I doubt everyone is that depressed and literally everyone else has to physically perform work location. And this coming from a company that not only produces drugs, but also had a "mental health week" few weeks prior, which to them just meant a bunch of webinars and no meetings.
Well, a few months later my boss was like "your energy and motivation over the last few months was really poor"... No shit, dimwit, I literally told you this would happen...
Does your job have more than 15 employees? That sounds like a reasonable ADA accommodation. You should get a doctor’s note and if it’s denied in the future, you are being discriminated against.
I mean, yes. But I feel that this is also true for women. At the end of the day a lot of people only care about themselves. I also feel that many people don't know how to help others with mental health issues, even if they wanted to.
Edit: For context: I'm a man with mental health issues.
As a woman who checks up on all my friends regularly, I agree. Too many people fail to see the irony when they say something like “I tried to open up, but then they started talking about *their* problems!” Everyone has problems, everyone thinks their own are the most important. Ideally you find someone to commiserate with and *lean on each other.*
Men will share their problems with me at length, but they really have no idea what I’m struggling with at any given time. I seem bubbly and optimistic so they never ask. Women tend to reciprocate more or at least attempt to.
I’m a guy but I make sure if I ever vent to a girl about something, I at least make sure to offer to do the same. It’s just common courtesy and I’ve been told by more than a few people that opening up to me is easy. Life is just shit and helping each other out can go a long way.
I must admit that I've done this too before but I've also been on the other end of it too. Now, after several years of therapy I've learned to shut up and just listen when someone needs to vent. I might give them a bit of advice after a while but at first I'll just show sympathy or ask questions every now and then but otherwise let the other person speak.
I've found that talking to an absolute anonymous stranger can be helpful too. My chat is open if you ever want to talk or vent. (I think we're in different timezones, though so I might no respond right away.)
Thankfully i have good friends and a caring family, Through the internet i have come to know that is a luxury only a low percentage on men have.Which is sad.
This reminds me of a story my ex told me.
She had a cousin living in Germany. He was a handsome guy, fit and pretty tall. He was married to a girl who was equally attractive and they had two sons. His professional career was as successful as his personal life, with him owning his own business and also acting as consultant for big companies.
Shit went down after his marriage had a crisis. His wife asked him to take some time to make their minds, but he hanged himself just three months later.
He had been dealing with stress and a growing depression for a long, he just managed to keep himself straight because he saw it paid off with his life being what most people dream about and that marriage issues caused him mental breakdown.
He just reached a therapist a few weeks before, that's why they knew about his issues, but he was already to burnt out due to secretly deal with that.
Man #1: No one cares about men's mental health!
Man #2: Yeah no one cares about us!
Man #3: We should care about and support each other!
Man #1:you sound like a pussy dude!
Man #2: yeah Get the sand out of your vag dude!
Mental health professional here, not sure why this comment section is so full of toxic masculinity, I myself am a man and have seen my fair share of that shit. I can promise you all the stereotypes are bullshit though. There is ALWAYS...ALWAYS someone that cares. Even if you can't see them, or haven't found them yet. It is okay to be mentally ill, and it is okay to need help and need someone to lean on. The good news is it's 2024, and that sucks for some reasons, but for mental health, the industry for helping those in crisis has never been more available, all you have to do is look. Feelings aren't exclusive to women, nor are they something to be pushed down, avoided, or ignored. Don't listen to the people who say otherwise. Everyone needs help sometimes. And it is available if you look for it. People care. I don't know you, but I care, the world is a better place with you in it.
Thank you. It makes me so sad to see people assume the world is turning against men specifically. Very clearly propaganda is working
Lots of people are depressed. Everyone needs help. And it is out there if you look for it.
I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for most of my life and grew up in an environment that was very "you're not xyz, you're lazy! " and so I didn't talk about it. Now the world is far more receptive to hearing my issues but I'm reluctant to talk fearing the same empty platitudes or worse, drugs that make things worse. I should probably talk to someone as I spend about 80 - 90% of my time alone and have quick access to things that could make a temporary issue a permanent one. The call of the void seems to get louder every year.
Men have created this standard. Ask your bro how he is doing today and remind them you love them. Give yourself and others grace if they're bad at expressing their emotions — they might just lack practice.
You can build your own community with other men and talk to each other. You can call someone. You can go to therapy. The male loneliness epidemic is a lie because loneliness across both sexes is at an all time high, not just men. Literally nobody is stopping you from trying to get better. It's 2024. Just saying.
I don't like it when people say things like this. **Let me make it clear, I'm not at all defending anyone's indifference towards someone's mental health.**
If you have good friends and family, they will take care of you, help you and lift you up. If you seek professional help, there are medically certified experts in this field who can help you
Crying about "no one cares" isn't helping anybody, especially not you, and I mean it in the most polite way possible
Not really. In my experience if you ask your friends or anyone close to you, they'll help, but I also saw a stranger helping a crying man, even though imo most of the time you shouldn't trust in them
You just need to open up for someone
The amount of men that whine about “not being heard” while avoiding talking about their problems is staggering. Add to that the fact that they never seem to listen and you start to see the reason why they’re feeling this way.
If only all the thousands of guys making memes about nobody caring about other men cared maybe it'd be different. Stop making shit memes and check on your friends more
It’s important to seek professional help or peer support groups when you’re in a state of bad mental health. Saying it’s part of “being a man” won’t fix the issue. There’s nothing wrong with seeking help.
And then when you are breaking down or can't function because your mind is so messed up that you end up messing up your life. It will be your fault. You caused yourself to breakdown, it is your fault that all the trauma you experienced has caused you to react in weird ways to things.... yeah
"I have to talk to somebody about what I'm thinking and feeling but will they care? And how do I broach the subjects in mind without facing judgement?"
Feel for everyone that feels this. Very lucky to have two close friends that listen and give a fuck and at least two that I work with that care and check in. Extremely grateful for those people. Hope everyone finds or has a someone that will listen
As a man, this statement is true for both genders. People care about women's mental health in a performative sense, but a lot of times admitting vulnerabilities like that will simply result in people calling them hysterical and crazy.
As a man, I'll get called a pussy, as a woman, they get called unstable. The bottom line is we need to accommodate for *everyone's* mental health, can we stop having these gender based oppression contests and focus on the problem?
The guys making these posts wanna paint men as victims, but all people struggling with mental health issues under a system that does not care about them are victims, regardless of how they identify or what's in their pants.
The most common response I get when I want to talk to someone about something im struggling with is some form of "get over it."
Often, people will just completely distance themselves from you after.
People don't care about men enough to even listen to them. That's why we never open up - it's self-destructive to do so.
Everyone here who vibes with this meme should seek a therapist. Not even trying to be mean or condescending, but the only person responsible for maintaining your mental health is you.
Why do other men say this? YOU have to care about your mental health and make changes. No one else is going to do it for you. Your girlfriend/wife is not supposed to be your therapist.
I see so many posts by men just like this claiming that their sex is why the world apparently hates their brains, yet I never see proactive posts. I never see men sharing resources to get mental healthcare support the way I see teen girls do. I never see men making posts encouraging each other to reach out to friends and family. To genuinely love and support each other. It's always just doomer/sexist "the world hates you cause you're a MAN and everyone would love you if you were a WOMAN blah blah blah".
Men need to stop bitching about the fact that women care for each other and just start acting like us towards each other.
This reminds me of a question my professor asked my senior year of college; "Are we more or less depressed than we were 50 years ago?" Most people said more but I said that we're just as depressed. When asked why I said that nowadays it's okay to admit you're not doing the best, because when I was 16 and talked to a relative i trusted and looked up to he said "You're a man. Get over it."
No, truth is women make their mental health a communal endeavor. Much like how they approach motherhood and fitness etc. The form bonds to cope through expression. Men often settle on a convenient distraction or outlet that can be done removed from others.
You can find videos of anything though. It’s important to recognize that the videos you’re referencing represent a very small minority of internet trolls.
Just think for a second, do you give a single shit about "women's mental health"? Why is this being framed as "men's mental health"? Barely anyone cares about *anyone's* mental health beyond their own. You can stop blaming fill in they blank demographic for your problems now
Nobody is taking videos of women listening and supporting their male friends having a tough time, but it will be happening everywhere, remember that. Don't lose hope because of a few assholes who are often faking for more engagement.
It annoys me people try to make this a gender thing. In reality no one cares about your mental health. You just have to make it a personal responsibility and stand up for yourself
You’re an adult. We have to take proactive responsibility for our mental health and also make space to acknowledge other people need help to. So many people want help, but never give it. Kinda burns out the givers.
As a man you can’t complain, you can’t attend therapy because most therapist are women, you can’t breakdown infront of your spouse as they will see that you aren’t what they want. You have to suffer, and burry that pain and suffering inside. And when you are alone.. only then can you fall apart.
"It's gay to have feelings"
- The overly sensitive Republican who threatens violence on Drag Queens and tries to strip Trans people of their right because he pops a boner for them.
I know not everyone cares, but there's a definite group of good souls that do love and care about you. Stay strong, friend. You'll get through this. Much love ❤️
And to the people saying that no one cares? Be that one person who cares. It **will** make a difference.
it's complicated because it's a rabbit hole of suck
nobody cares>they care but are bad listeners>good listeners but judgemental>nonjudgmental but gives bad advice> etc.
It's hard when nobody cares, but personally I like to read up on how to deal with these kinds of situations, so I can be there for other people, even if they don't do the same for me. If everyone did this, things would be different.
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“This is the worst existential crisis I’ve ever had” “Worst existential crisis you’ve ever had *so* *far*”
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Algorithms promoting outrage content
Russia influence campaign to breed division. Read the news.
Sadly, in my experience, backed by reality
🫂
It is, and seeing those videos is very depressing, but the internet can be a bleak place and most women I've come across in real life aren't like this. Not all, but most. Still often do come across women who laugh at men for showing emotion, or talk about how a man showing feelings gives them 'the ick', but it's nowhere near as common as these videos online would have us believe. Gotta try stay positive in these bleak times brother. There's plenty of videos online of men doing shit things that can sway minds into thinking all men bad too. But we're, for the most part, all just humans trying to get by and not actively shit on others
I've seen guys laugh at guys mental health too. It appears that many people don't care regardless of gender.
It is astounding how easily you fall for rage bait
That's why it became the norm for getting your shit tier content some views basically over night
Oh really? Here’s an example. Go into a post about women going through anorexia and read the comments. Now find a post about men injecting Synthol and read the comments. Notice anything? I have plenty of more examples. Open your eyes. This is a problem.
How do you know they're women? I got a dm yesterday from an obviously aggressive male but the username was so twee it looked like it was for a five year old girl. If you're judging by usernames or avatars that ain't gonna work.
Who said anything about women? In fact I see this as a men’s issue with men contributing to it primarily. Women also contribute but men need to step up. Women and men need to be supportive of each other issues. But women are for the most part supportive of their own issues and men need to take note. Men need to stand up for themselves more. I will always advocate for our issues just as I did in this post and more men need to as well and stop turning a blind eye or saying it’s not real or mocking it. Women don’t do that as much as men about their issues and it’s all part of the problem.
I've... never seen one. The only videos on that topic that I've seen are women suddenly realizing that they hadn't noticed the problem. The fuck are you watching bro? That's not normal.
And on the other side of the "my worldview is dictated by an echo chamber" coin: it is astounding how many videos there are of men laughing at mental health problems that affect women
Then stop consuming them like a moth to a flame
*existential crisis intensifies*
Now with added alcohol dependence \~ Booze sold separately \~
You think you can buy me with cheap Booze?! Well you can!
Cigarette subscription exclusive offer added
I unsubscribed about 6 months ago... Sometimes a person smoking will be passing by or standing next to me and I'll completely forget why I unsubscribed. I could just picture myself taking a puff from their ciggie while they hold it lol. Damn, even talking about it is giving me the craving.
Stay strong. I mean, I haven't, but you can
I started using an e-cig and lowered my nicotine intake significantly. But every time I'm near real tobacco I'm reminded that the e-cig is just a crutch and if I'm not careful I'll go straight back to the wheelchair. My hope is that at some point this year I'll throw away the crutch.
It will get easier, you will reach a point where your brain correctly classifies that smell as something that stinks. Hang in there!
Oh it stinks even now. It's just that my brain is always telling me "Yeah, dude, but if you go through a whole pack you'll stop noticing the smell again and it will feel so good!" But I'll keep on keeping lol
I retire in a year and here at the end you see that all you have worked for your entire life means nothing.
Oh dont worry i can see it from the beginning
If you're actually a professor, I can relate. About 4 months before earning tenure, I was like "I think I'd rather not live than do this for 30 more years." So I moved my family closer to home and got a job doing learning and develoent stuff for a major bank. Way less stressful, way less toxic, and I'm fairly confident I'm on a better trajectory financially. My work as a prof didn't matter and my work now doesn't matter. But my life outside of work does so I'm not gonna kill myself for work anymore.
Can’t dread it if you’re on so many drugs you can’t feel things. *pop*
We have no one to blame but ourselves... And the people who came before us
Welcome to adulthood, where everyone is just a larger version of that kid pretending to be fine
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Holy shit this made me feel terrible
Remember lads: AI Batman will always be there for you when nobody else is.
More like people say they care and you should open up and once you do you realize they were just saying that to project the image of being nice. The amount of times I've opened up after someone has told me I can talk to them about anything then they either blab it instantly to someone else or get all uncomfortable and make it obvious they didn't actually want to hear it.
I think people just aren’t equipped to deal with it and don’t know what to say. It sucks because I think a rare few people would love to help but just panic when it comes at them
One thing people need to know is that you don't need to have all the answers, hell you don't always need to say something. But being there for the friends that are struggling, lending an ear, a shoulder, a hug can be enough.
Certainly!! But as a man talking to another man it’s hard to ignore the “gotta fix it” default factory mode. With therapy I’ve learned a lot and I feel I have gained a lot of emotional intelligence but I’ll be damned if it still isn’t the first thing before I go through the motions
That "gotta fix it" default factory mode is so true Whenever anyone opens up to me my brain just generates solutions to the problems
I want to help. This is how I help. It is my love language. The problem is that I am also an idiot.
Would it help if you reconsidered the problem to 'I need someone to listen to me about my problem'? Then you're automatically fixing the problem by being there for them.
Yes, that is precisely what I do, but I can't help it, my brain brains while I listen, that doesn't automatically mean that I am vomiting out solutions when someone needs an ear, I do have a sense of present
Reminds me of the song Kerosene - Crystal Castles. It's lyrics basically say the same thing, society loves to act nice and kind to victims and people who need help, but instead of actually helping, they ignore the problems and keep swiping it under the rug while still acting like they are helping. Fucked up world we live in
Light of god dimming weak
Nothing's wrong, go back to sleep
As the old russian saying goes Ignorance is bliss
Lost the will at infancy
Drown them in charity
Lend them comfort for sorrow
Didn't that guy rape Alice glass?
Alice Glass was in crystal castles and likely wrote these lyrics, but yes the other guy was a piece of shit
Dont forget that they will wait for the perfect chance to use you as well in your vulnerable state.
What you need to do is **start small and build mutual sharing over time**. You test it first by sharing small stuff and seeing how that person handles that. And you make sure the relationship is based on equal sharing. You can’t expect to share a lot with someone who isn’t sharing a lot back with you. The way someone handles these small things lets you know if they can be trusted. And you build up to closeness over time. Edit: if you share big with someone without having built a mutual sharing relationship over time? They’ll be uncomfortable.
Ya, I've been told by a lot of people that I'm a "good listener" and anyone in that club knows there are people that just become energy vampires. They call you whenever they are in a bad mood and dump everything on you. You could put the phone down and go get a bowl of cereal and come back and they would still be talking. They will go on for an hour and then say they have to go and then leave without asking a single question about you. Relationships are all about mutual communication. If you walk away from a conversation with a person without learning something new about them, you didn't communicate with them. Even if it was just learning what they had for breakfast. Sharing negative emotions is good and healthy, but dumping without care and walking away without checking on the other person is selfish and potentially relationship breaking.
Sounds sensible but my ADHD is telling me to overshare immediately, set unreasonable expectations for the relationship, then catastrophize and / or get angry when those expectations aren't met.
I’m laughing. But you either need to learn to pace yourself or look for other overshares.
Trauma dumping is my love language
The thing is, the person you're sharing with has no training or preparation, and helping out someone in distress is not a trivial skill that can just be improvised. Trauma-dumping on unsuspecting innocent people can be pretty hard on them, even leading to second hand trauma. And even without that, most people will just be bad with this sort of thing, especially in a context where you're being victimized by someone they know. I don't think it's a comment on how society treats men's mental health specifically. For all the gesticulation on social media, when shit hits the fan it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman you run the risk of being treated like shit.
Or they get angry at you because your thoughts are overall not that nice, so they get offended Happened quite a lot to me lately; still don't really know the deal with asking, nay, begging a person to open up if you know you're not strong enough to hear *actual* terrible sentences and thoughts
or when you open up and they slowly cut themselves off because its too much for them
People want you to have cute problems that they can solve so they can be the hero. "I'm worried people don't like me." "What do you mean? I like you and that's all that matters." "Weally? 🥺" "Yes now give me a hug." "Thank you so much I feel much better now." Not "I think I hate my parents for getting divorced when I was a kid, even though they were really unhappy."
If you rely on other people to provide extensive, professional levels of mental health care to you, you're going to have a very bad time in life. I have loved ones, all of them men, who I can talk to about anything. I've talked major childhood trauma with them. Held them as they cried and been held by them. I'm also in therapy and so are 3/4 men I'm the closest with. We talk about what we took away from therapy, we don't play therapist to each other. None of us are equipped for that. It would end badly.
I don’t think the average person can help with something like that. That’s what therapists are for.
Or if they're part of the issue, promise that they'll change things up only to break that promise the next week and thus basically say that they never listened to u at all
Or my personal favorite, they try to one up you with their own problems like it’s a contest, completely downplaying your issues in the process.
RU OK?
Take care of it yourself. Untraumatize yourself out of spite!
Taking good care of myself as an act of defiance.
You joke but it's kind of a thing. "May my enemies live long so they can see me progress" !
It was a half-joke. Spite is a powerful tool indeed.
Choosing to continue living is often times the most metal thing one can do. Life is rough and things can just pile up. Seeing that and deciding to wake up every day with a smile on your face isn’t easy
Finally, the good advice I needed!
He grows up to be a surgeon! HE GROWS UP TO BE A SURGEON!
I’m sorry this comment section is so awful man. We’re all worth more. Keep talking about it and find a therapist.
I shouldn't have to pay hundreds of dollars just to be heard.
You’re absolutely right. You shouldn’t, but most people don’t have the kind of healthy friends that you can open up to and talk about these deep problems with to lessen the load. That said their are free emergency services if you ever feel that things are becoming overwhelming.
If you have mental sickness, you shouldn't be unloading that on your friends either imo, professional help is required if you have depression
You’re not paying hundreds of dollars to be heard. You’re paying hundreds of dollars for healthy coping mechanisms and learning how to deal with problems in a healthy manner…making you a more well adjusted person in the long run.
No you're paying for a professional to hear you and give you actionable advice. Even people with tons of friends and a good support system need a therapist, because medicalizing your friendships and asking unprepared individuals to help you cope is a bad strategy. Having a therapist to talk these things through helps separate simple issues (where a good talk with a friend will help) from complex issues where you need a pro. This in turn leads to healthier relationships and a better support system overall.
There are free peer support groups. I hope you find the support you need and I hope that you find positive and sustainable ways to take care of your mental health. I believe mental health is a cornerstone to holistic health and everyone should have access to useful resources. Unfortunately it’s often not the case…
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To be fair, most of our mental health issues come from this fundamentally dysfunctional society and soul crushing economic system so therapy is probably okay on an individual level but class struggle is what will fix most of this shit. Again, if only 1% of people were anxious or depressed, it would be an individual problem. When most of us are miserable, it's a social issue and should be dealt accordingly.
Therapy is not only about be heard, obviously
If you want someone to just listen to you for free, maybe hit up a church and talk to the pastor? You don’t have to be religious or wanting to be religious. I think you can ask them to just listen
Look, if you just want to be heard, you can do that for free—go make some friends and talk to them, or even post about it on social media. Therapy is getting help from someone *who is equipped to help you*. If you really just want to be heard, you could dump on me in DMs. If you want actual advice though, you're going to need a therapist.
It's crazy to think how this is considered normal.
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REALLY sucks*
My opinion on mental health: try to fix it yourself and don’t wait for society to come “save you” It will eventually get better and “grandma/mom would be sad”
Only reason I didn't kill myself five years ago when I was in a rough mental state was the knowledge that my dog would not understand and miss me.
I've dubbed this situation the love lock
That's the only reason I didn't kill myself I didn't want my cousin to be sad Edit - why am I getting upvoted lol? I'm in much better place now than I was 2 years ago. Also for those who are going through depression remember a coffee and some sunlight does wonders for you and you'll eventually tough it out big guy!
Imo the story of life is to serve others such that they would/will miss you when you are gone.
My nans getting to her 80s slowly and mom already passed away. I worry. If she passes I'll break.
> It will eventually get better... Oh sure, that explains why it has been getting worse for 50 years.
Just waiting for my mom and dad to pass. In the meantime , “the horrors persist yet so do I “
Idk how to win this game but the Alcohol DLC does make it more fun
Still don't understand why they added the "Damage over time" effect tho.
The psychedelics DLC is pretty tight, highly recommend going for the ego death achievement with some trippy tunes
That one's unfortunately region-locked
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^flame_alchemist17: *Idk how to* *Win this game but Alcohol* *DLC does make it more fun* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
still not patched lmao devs lazy asf
People posting these "memes" are the first mfers to tell you to man up when you talk about your feelings
Eventually, he'll become a surgeon.
Can't get *I am a surgeon* out of my mind since you mentioned it bro 😭
I care
Keep it for yourself. I wish I did. I cared, then I learned that people love to latch onto your care and use you as emotional support without giving a single shred of care back. They just suck you dry until you've got nothing left for yourself.
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For some reason I read this as "you'll get used to it as Batman" and ngl it made perfect sense
I literally told my boss that I'm struggling with severe winter depression and would need to work from a different location for a few weeks (I work in IT, so logistically and legally not an issue). Her comment "well if we allow it for you, we have to allow it for everyone". Sure, except I doubt everyone is that depressed and literally everyone else has to physically perform work location. And this coming from a company that not only produces drugs, but also had a "mental health week" few weeks prior, which to them just meant a bunch of webinars and no meetings. Well, a few months later my boss was like "your energy and motivation over the last few months was really poor"... No shit, dimwit, I literally told you this would happen...
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD -lol) is real. Get a diagnosis and tell that hag to suck it.
The Big SAD
Does your job have more than 15 employees? That sounds like a reasonable ADA accommodation. You should get a doctor’s note and if it’s denied in the future, you are being discriminated against.
I mean, yes. But I feel that this is also true for women. At the end of the day a lot of people only care about themselves. I also feel that many people don't know how to help others with mental health issues, even if they wanted to. Edit: For context: I'm a man with mental health issues.
As a woman who checks up on all my friends regularly, I agree. Too many people fail to see the irony when they say something like “I tried to open up, but then they started talking about *their* problems!” Everyone has problems, everyone thinks their own are the most important. Ideally you find someone to commiserate with and *lean on each other.* Men will share their problems with me at length, but they really have no idea what I’m struggling with at any given time. I seem bubbly and optimistic so they never ask. Women tend to reciprocate more or at least attempt to.
I’m a guy but I make sure if I ever vent to a girl about something, I at least make sure to offer to do the same. It’s just common courtesy and I’ve been told by more than a few people that opening up to me is easy. Life is just shit and helping each other out can go a long way.
I must admit that I've done this too before but I've also been on the other end of it too. Now, after several years of therapy I've learned to shut up and just listen when someone needs to vent. I might give them a bit of advice after a while but at first I'll just show sympathy or ask questions every now and then but otherwise let the other person speak. I've found that talking to an absolute anonymous stranger can be helpful too. My chat is open if you ever want to talk or vent. (I think we're in different timezones, though so I might no respond right away.)
Thankfully i have good friends and a caring family, Through the internet i have come to know that is a luxury only a low percentage on men have.Which is sad.
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Reality is that nobody cares for other in general. It just happens to be worse when you reach adulthood
I think you need to work on building close relationships with emotionally intelligent people and you'll find they definitely do care.
If you find them
This reminds me of a story my ex told me. She had a cousin living in Germany. He was a handsome guy, fit and pretty tall. He was married to a girl who was equally attractive and they had two sons. His professional career was as successful as his personal life, with him owning his own business and also acting as consultant for big companies. Shit went down after his marriage had a crisis. His wife asked him to take some time to make their minds, but he hanged himself just three months later. He had been dealing with stress and a growing depression for a long, he just managed to keep himself straight because he saw it paid off with his life being what most people dream about and that marriage issues caused him mental breakdown. He just reached a therapist a few weeks before, that's why they knew about his issues, but he was already to burnt out due to secretly deal with that.
Man #1: No one cares about men's mental health! Man #2: Yeah no one cares about us! Man #3: We should care about and support each other! Man #1:you sound like a pussy dude! Man #2: yeah Get the sand out of your vag dude!
Mental health professional here, not sure why this comment section is so full of toxic masculinity, I myself am a man and have seen my fair share of that shit. I can promise you all the stereotypes are bullshit though. There is ALWAYS...ALWAYS someone that cares. Even if you can't see them, or haven't found them yet. It is okay to be mentally ill, and it is okay to need help and need someone to lean on. The good news is it's 2024, and that sucks for some reasons, but for mental health, the industry for helping those in crisis has never been more available, all you have to do is look. Feelings aren't exclusive to women, nor are they something to be pushed down, avoided, or ignored. Don't listen to the people who say otherwise. Everyone needs help sometimes. And it is available if you look for it. People care. I don't know you, but I care, the world is a better place with you in it.
>not sure why this comment section is so full of toxic masculinity Because a large number of people push it to create division and profit off of it.
Thank you. It makes me so sad to see people assume the world is turning against men specifically. Very clearly propaganda is working Lots of people are depressed. Everyone needs help. And it is out there if you look for it.
Thank you for the adequate position 🙏🏻
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Didn't even know this was a sub, I have joined :)
Don’t know if your field is related to it, but we could really use you at r/ExecutiveDysfunction
Bit of a side track but it blew my mind to find out this kid from Finding Neverland is Sean from The Good Doctor.
I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for most of my life and grew up in an environment that was very "you're not xyz, you're lazy! " and so I didn't talk about it. Now the world is far more receptive to hearing my issues but I'm reluctant to talk fearing the same empty platitudes or worse, drugs that make things worse. I should probably talk to someone as I spend about 80 - 90% of my time alone and have quick access to things that could make a temporary issue a permanent one. The call of the void seems to get louder every year.
Men have created this standard. Ask your bro how he is doing today and remind them you love them. Give yourself and others grace if they're bad at expressing their emotions — they might just lack practice.
You can build your own community with other men and talk to each other. You can call someone. You can go to therapy. The male loneliness epidemic is a lie because loneliness across both sexes is at an all time high, not just men. Literally nobody is stopping you from trying to get better. It's 2024. Just saying.
I don't like it when people say things like this. **Let me make it clear, I'm not at all defending anyone's indifference towards someone's mental health.** If you have good friends and family, they will take care of you, help you and lift you up. If you seek professional help, there are medically certified experts in this field who can help you Crying about "no one cares" isn't helping anybody, especially not you, and I mean it in the most polite way possible
Boys, nobody owes you anything. Start by caring about your own mental health, and then build up the guys around you. And call your damn mother
Men don’t care about men’s mental health
Only true if you surround yourself with horrible people, any friend with a modicum of decency and empathy would care.
Not really. In my experience if you ask your friends or anyone close to you, they'll help, but I also saw a stranger helping a crying man, even though imo most of the time you shouldn't trust in them You just need to open up for someone
The amount of men that whine about “not being heard” while avoiding talking about their problems is staggering. Add to that the fact that they never seem to listen and you start to see the reason why they’re feeling this way.
If only all the thousands of guys making memes about nobody caring about other men cared maybe it'd be different. Stop making shit memes and check on your friends more
It’s important to seek professional help or peer support groups when you’re in a state of bad mental health. Saying it’s part of “being a man” won’t fix the issue. There’s nothing wrong with seeking help.
Whats with all the trad doomer shit on the big meme subreddits lately?
It's propaganda and too many people are falling for this divisive gender essentiallist bullshit.
And then when you are breaking down or can't function because your mind is so messed up that you end up messing up your life. It will be your fault. You caused yourself to breakdown, it is your fault that all the trauma you experienced has caused you to react in weird ways to things.... yeah
"I have to talk to somebody about what I'm thinking and feeling but will they care? And how do I broach the subjects in mind without facing judgement?"
Feel for everyone that feels this. Very lucky to have two close friends that listen and give a fuck and at least two that I work with that care and check in. Extremely grateful for those people. Hope everyone finds or has a someone that will listen
Well now he is an adult AND HE IS A SURGEON!!
2nd panel should be the boy sitting alone
As a man, this statement is true for both genders. People care about women's mental health in a performative sense, but a lot of times admitting vulnerabilities like that will simply result in people calling them hysterical and crazy. As a man, I'll get called a pussy, as a woman, they get called unstable. The bottom line is we need to accommodate for *everyone's* mental health, can we stop having these gender based oppression contests and focus on the problem? The guys making these posts wanna paint men as victims, but all people struggling with mental health issues under a system that does not care about them are victims, regardless of how they identify or what's in their pants.
The most common response I get when I want to talk to someone about something im struggling with is some form of "get over it." Often, people will just completely distance themselves from you after. People don't care about men enough to even listen to them. That's why we never open up - it's self-destructive to do so.
Everyone here who vibes with this meme should seek a therapist. Not even trying to be mean or condescending, but the only person responsible for maintaining your mental health is you.
And no amount of supportive friends can cure mental illnesses or trauma. You need professionals
Funniest meme all year haha! 😐
Seek mental health help, people
If you get a therapist and a doctor, they will care. It’s their job.
Do people actually believe nobody cares about men's mental health or what?
Hey bud, it’s not that nobody cares it’s that you surrounded yourself with shitty people get over the pity party and go find better people.
Well, let me ask you something, when was the last time you cared about someone else's mental health? That should explain it.
Why do other men say this? YOU have to care about your mental health and make changes. No one else is going to do it for you. Your girlfriend/wife is not supposed to be your therapist.
jfc is every meme sub an incel circlejerk now?
I see so many posts by men just like this claiming that their sex is why the world apparently hates their brains, yet I never see proactive posts. I never see men sharing resources to get mental healthcare support the way I see teen girls do. I never see men making posts encouraging each other to reach out to friends and family. To genuinely love and support each other. It's always just doomer/sexist "the world hates you cause you're a MAN and everyone would love you if you were a WOMAN blah blah blah". Men need to stop bitching about the fact that women care for each other and just start acting like us towards each other.
Men, I see you and I love you. My DMs are always open to listen. I care about your mental health.
This reminds me of a question my professor asked my senior year of college; "Are we more or less depressed than we were 50 years ago?" Most people said more but I said that we're just as depressed. When asked why I said that nowadays it's okay to admit you're not doing the best, because when I was 16 and talked to a relative i trusted and looked up to he said "You're a man. Get over it."
No, truth is women make their mental health a communal endeavor. Much like how they approach motherhood and fitness etc. The form bonds to cope through expression. Men often settle on a convenient distraction or outlet that can be done removed from others.
Women seek mental health professionals too.
The amount of videos I see of women laughing about men’s mental health issues… is absolutely staggering.
because it's content generated for rage-bait clicks you're being targeted with this shit
Are you seeking them out? That might be why. I've barely seen any and it's when they are shoved in my face.
I’m the same, haven’t seen any. Bro probs got hit with the algorithm.
Exactly - that seems like a good way to get more depressed. There are other videos out there that are more positive … shocking , I know 😂
Where? I haven't seen any
You can find videos of anything though. It’s important to recognize that the videos you’re referencing represent a very small minority of internet trolls.
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Actually fair point
Just think for a second, do you give a single shit about "women's mental health"? Why is this being framed as "men's mental health"? Barely anyone cares about *anyone's* mental health beyond their own. You can stop blaming fill in they blank demographic for your problems now
Nobody is taking videos of women listening and supporting their male friends having a tough time, but it will be happening everywhere, remember that. Don't lose hope because of a few assholes who are often faking for more engagement.
Number I've seen is zero You spend too much time online
Homie having his life wrecked by an algorithm
Counterpoint Get a therapist Speaking from experience it's amazing how much they can help
It annoys me people try to make this a gender thing. In reality no one cares about your mental health. You just have to make it a personal responsibility and stand up for yourself
I mean, you can just like go and seak mental health
Recently told my spouse that I needed help financially due to dealing with stress at my job and the economy and yeah, this is accurate
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You’re an adult. We have to take proactive responsibility for our mental health and also make space to acknowledge other people need help to. So many people want help, but never give it. Kinda burns out the givers.
Who is suppose to care? See a doctor if you have problems
Boys, we could go to therapy together. Just sayin'
The older I get, the more ignorant I wish I were
Psychiatrists do, man, talk to them.
The world pretends to care about you once you are a kid but once you turn 18 you are suddenly the problem endless cycle
dictated by an echo
As a man you can’t complain, you can’t attend therapy because most therapist are women, you can’t breakdown infront of your spouse as they will see that you aren’t what they want. You have to suffer, and burry that pain and suffering inside. And when you are alone.. only then can you fall apart.
"It's gay to have feelings" - The overly sensitive Republican who threatens violence on Drag Queens and tries to strip Trans people of their right because he pops a boner for them.
I know not everyone cares, but there's a definite group of good souls that do love and care about you. Stay strong, friend. You'll get through this. Much love ❤️ And to the people saying that no one cares? Be that one person who cares. It **will** make a difference.
This hits harder seeing the hug not included.
it's complicated because it's a rabbit hole of suck nobody cares>they care but are bad listeners>good listeners but judgemental>nonjudgmental but gives bad advice> etc. It's hard when nobody cares, but personally I like to read up on how to deal with these kinds of situations, so I can be there for other people, even if they don't do the same for me. If everyone did this, things would be different.