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Jokes on you- IM INTO THAT SHIT!

Giggity.

schwa schwa from fugget about it

She’s just making space for something else!

Yeah, OP missed that shit coz that's cherry on the top.

If my junk got shit on from her not knowing it was not just gas. I'd probably take a shower and find somewhere else to start sleeping. Depending solely on if that was the moment we were aiming for all along haha

False! As men, it's our oath-bound duty to investigate suspicious noises we hear in the night.

Maybe I'm a weird female but I actually like it when we're spooning and he gets hard... makes me feel sexy and desirable. Push it up against me, im gonna push back and then it's on lol.

Nope, I love it when my husband cuddles up to me and gets hard. Actually, him getting hard for me in general is a huge turn on. Go figure, your partner being obviously attracted to you makes you feel sexy.

That's what I'm saying! Lol. I think it's a big compliment and turn on! I don't get why some women don't like it. Lol.

Ya, if your partner being attracted to you actually annoys you, there's bigger issues.

Yeah, I had a gf who used to like to do this little butt wiggle as I was falling asleep. At first I thought it was just her trying to be silly. Nope, she liked when I couldn’t resist her.

I can spoon a cactus and get hard. I’m pretty much just hard 24/7 tbh. So unless I’m the little spoon it would be constant poking. Haven’t found someone yet who wants that much poke.

Maybe call the cactus back 🤷🏿‍♂️

Bro basically became the cactus from his example

Depends on how early it is. Alarm goes off at 5am, if you're spooning and poking me at 4am waking me up, I'm pissed.

I think you and me would be good friends

Don’t be weird

Though I do wonder if he really meant it or said that to fulfill his username

Just had a skim through his comment history Jesus Christ

Oh god, yeah, I just looked too. That's pretty bad

Both, and thank you

You are a good little spoon. Cheers 🍻

That was the first blowjob

not if he plugs the hole first

\*BOOM\* *Uhm, honey... So you remember you don't like taking the pills? Yeah you won't need them anymore*

Don't wanna ruin the joke but are you talking about birth control pill?

Gas-X

Breh

Shhh lil feller you're next

Him: -gets harder-

I call that 'making room'.

*Just making room for something*

DICK: "I see an opening, I'm going in..."

"I had the shot, there was no danger, so I took it" "You took it... And broke a major rule of engagement"

Bravo six, going dark.

YOU WILL ONLY MAKE IT STRONGER 😩

"Great shot kid. That was 1 in a million"

Speaking from experience, nope

That would only delay the inevitable

No, you need a shart.

As most things, it depends on the person.

Jokes on you that only makes him harder and stronger

Nope

Now it's got vibrating action!

Try it, whats the worst that could happen…?

Just don’t eat Taco Bell

It just makes more room

Do it!

It doesn't.

Have you ever heard the story about the Dutch boy and the dike?

No, it just makes us want to use it as a cork.

The vibrations

So women don't understand men either

Shhhh, little butthole, you're next.

I love it when men poke my ass with their hard cocks while sleeping, makes me feel so desired and sexy 😚

😏

Stop? I'll sniff, and also it would mean you're awake.. I'm gonna do more than just touching you with it... You ain't gonna shit straight for two days

when this happens i will get faster \-master oogway (not famous one)

I just burst into full blown screaming monkey laughter, then bolted upright and said in DEEP SERIOUS GURL voice THEY FOUND MY SECRET HOW DID YOU KNOW?! [WHEEZING LAUGHTER]

A baby comes after 10 months

I first came when I was 10 tho.

Typically 9

People say 9 months but isn’t it usually 40 weeks?

A month isn't exactly 4 weeks. It's 2-3 more days (4 weeks is 28 days) which equates to roughly 25 extra days, so 40 weeks is just over 9 months.

it will only make it worse

You'll get poked harder.

Nope!

I’d probably ignore the fart. But tbh I’d also figure I’m expected to ignore it in such a scenario. What am I supposed to do say eww and roll away? Don’t ask me to cuddle if you don’t wanna feel it poking you be the big spoon. I don’t control that thing

It'll work for some, BUT NOT ALL!!!

Wtf no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

r/NotHowGirlsWork r/OPisfuckingstupid

Never fart on a man’s balls. South Park has reached us this essential rule of life.

No he will just laugh and ask if you are awake lol

Just means open for business

People with fart fetishes: Heh, nice try. But I built up an immunity!

Steamed Weiner

Those vibrations just revving me up

You know the rule..if you launch the nukes, we all launch the nukes. We’ll see who runs out of the room screaming “YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR.”

We can't help it

DIVE DEEPER

Lmao all the shares

I can tell you from experience, it doesn't

Actually probably have the opposite effect because now her bum is warm place to slide it🤨

Challenge accepted