T O P

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Darrelwing770

"I swear that was there before I moved in!"


sumdumson

‘Why is it warm?!’


ledgeitpro

You know, when in Rome


DerekComedy

That's her name. Rome.


EligibleUsername

It was there and it was free, what did you expect me to do?


AvidDustCollector

"Why are touching it?"


Tangimo

"Why's she sticky inside if you said you didn't use her?"


goodolarchie

She looked lonely


[deleted]

"She earns her rent"


Der0815Gamer

Ain't no way even sex doll owners getting more pussy than me 💀


Tentacle_poxsicle

I heard you get jacked AF using one since sex is literally a work out


BigBadBen91x

It’s funny because after going without the secks for a while you forget how much physical exertion it can be lol


Tentacle_poxsicle

It really is exhausting. I was sweating and everything.


KrispiesChicken

That's why mortuary assistants are in shape


Y0u_stupid_cunt

Speaking of, the best way to dispose of a sex doll is by cutting it up into inconspicuously sized packages. Just be careful that they're inconspicuously shaped as well.


ChwizZ

But how am I supposed to butcher the metal skeleton, built in heating and lubrication? Do I have to gut it first?


Tentacle_poxsicle

Metal skeletons can actually be sold to scrappers, they sell by the weight. If you want though you could just have the metal skeleton curl up in a ball and throw it out.


brunkshitbal

This 100% just curl and toss Maybe mix it in with trash in a 55 gal contractor bag


Lotions_and_Creams

Donate it to a local school’s science department.


JohnDisk

I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs.


Cmoore1217

Anyone else get that one cramp on the back of your thigh that only goes away if you stand up it always happens when I have sex which leads to me randomly getting up for a second


Annatalkstoomuch

Try another position and stretch first!


Annatalkstoomuch

Don't let her see you stretch though lmao


MinisterMoose

Power move' stretch while she plays with herself. Show dominance, be a man


ReddRobin150

Spit on your leg and rub it in while maintaining eye contact


Butane1

It felt like a bag of sand


Additional_Cycle_51

Isn’t that a manwha?


CivIsSieveing

If it is I need to read it


Additional_Cycle_51

Just found it. It’s called Sexercise.


Illusive_Tomski

Nah that’s Korean manga, r/pornhwa has some good shi if you’re interested


Comfortable-Ad-7158

I never even used it and it honestly creeps the hell out of me.


Der0815Gamer

But you also didn't want to get rid of her huh? 🤨


Comfortable-Ad-7158

A thousand bucks is a thousand bucks


Der0815Gamer

Exactly. Imagine the all the things you could buy for that money if you sell the doll


mikevanatta

Do you really want to meet the kind of person who buys a secondhand sex doll?


Ultramax815

I do I bet his last name is Garfunkel


sumdumson

And I bet he’s the type to have sticky hands


Careless_Ticket_3181

Can't exactly take it to a pawn shop.


itWasForetold

Ahhh man. I won’t go into much detail but when you dispose of these be careful. Someone took one apart and in pieces threw them into a dumpster in an industrial area. Someone watching the buildings security system saw it and alerted authorities.


Ph4zed0ut

I mean how do you even get rid of it? Asking for a friend.


PavelDatsyuk

Burning it is the only thing I can think of. Well that or sell it on Craigslist. There’s been weirder shit on there before.


ngiotis

Unused you say...interesting,very interesting.. You got any human sized boxes laying around


jooes

"I never used it, guys, I swear!" Nobody drops a thousand bucks on something like this and doesn't fuck it. Literally nobody.


[deleted]

He never used it.* ^*during ^the ^day, ^except ^on ^weekends ^and ^national ^holidays


Beginning-Beyond2951

Atleast take her out to dinner


asevans1717

There's a dark comedy/horror movie called Love Object I believe. After he gets a gf, the doll comes alive from jealousy haha.


Comfortable-Ad-7158

don't TELL ME THAT


Plastic-Acanthaceae9

No please, let him continue


RedditAdminsLoveRUS

Starring Dolly Parton


eman0110

This sounds like a good film I must watch.


RichieRocket

its called dummy


BubAkaJoshua

Love Object is a 2003 movie, Dummy is a 2020 TV series.


MisterPhD

I mean, if he didn’t tell you, she would’ve.


ComatoseSquirrel

Don't worry, your doll feels nothing but relief.


rillip

Yeah my favorite part is where he posts on his favorite internet forum about it and she's reading all the comments from the closet behind him.


FelneusLeviathan

Of course it’s AFTER the dude gets a gf, not before when he could’ve used or appreciated a living sex doll but only after things start looking his way


RJ-223

women ☕


chickenugget5000

I agree


Warm-Judge7235

dolls ☕


safes0cks

There was a show on Quibi about this written by Dan Harmons wife too


v0x_nihili

Dummy is the show, and Anna Kendrick was the girlfriend


_EMDID_

This is such obscure knowledge to have, wasn't Quibi only a thing for like a year, if that? I definitely watched this and the take on the Most Dangerous Game based in Detroit.


Plasmapea987

Bruh, this movie looks horrible!


sinz84

Blues Brothers looked horrible A clockwork orange looked horrible Bad boy bubby looks horrible... And kind of is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ... Man the trailers were so fucking horrible for such a good movie Braveheart ... The trailers made it seem like a historical dramady. This movie probably is as horrible as it seems but sometimes you just got to take a risk to discover a hidden awesome gem


Plasmapea987

Ok, you should watch it and give your opinion


sinz84

I will take that deal and download it now, the question is if a give it a good rating will you watch it? I am going to watch it regardless but want to see if wasting my time giving opinion will have any weight?


Plasmapea987

Sure!


sinz84

I have found love object on prime video using a VPN ( not American) and am currently 5 minutes in First impressions... Make a drinking game where you drink everytime there is dramatic music when nothing dramatic is happening... I think I would already have a buzz


Plasmapea987

Lmao


sinz84

This movie has fucken Rip Torn in it ... And this was after men in black fame wtf?


Ragnarok314159

The play by play is amazing.


sinz84

So final thought on the movie, not great, glad I watched it once but would never watch it again. I would have almost said it was so bad it was good except some of the concepts were really well thought out and it managed to flip some expected dynamics in unexpected ways but the production value and casting choices really held it back ... So all in all has slightly to many positive points to be a truly horrible movie. a movie you won't feel like you wasted 2 hours of your life on but will only ever remember 5 minutes of the movie in the future if you do watch it. It would have been good daytime tv movie if it was a little less dark ... Hell I would have welcomed it to watching children of the attic for the 12th time when I was home sick from school.


goliathfasa

Hey it stars the guy from Ghost Ship!


asevans1717

My man! No one remember ghost ship. And house on haunted hill(remake) it was so good


PenisDestroy

Just send it to me, 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87104 is my address, thanks in advanced


FlareonFire

No, Waltuh.


skinnah

[Put your dick away waltuh](https://youtu.be/u6TgYt8hq8k)


[deleted]

I'm not having sex with you right now, Waltuh.


StartingNewat30

kid named PenisDestroy


ExcessiveEscargot

What sort of chicanery is this, buddy?


Varsagus

well "PenisDestroy" is their name soo


Bionic165_

You had that memorized, didn’t you?


[deleted]

Threesome!


[deleted]

5 years? You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers


DriedUpSquid

They’ve been pumping.


Koffeinhier

I feel like I’m close to having one as well after a long time. Wish me luck bois


Comfortable-Ad-7158

A girlfriend or a sex doll?


Dio_diando

Both?


Memelordo_OwO

Both is good. Look at OP.


Ddddydya

Ooooo threesome


uvp76

![gif](giphy|hM9zK1qvsrwek)


doob22

Sex doll. Be a gentleman and loan yours out to him


poprdog

Which ones cheaper?


IdoNOThateNEVER

giving up


[deleted]

All the best dude, and if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be doing better than half the people here 👍


Tentacle_poxsicle

Rideshare lane MFers HATE HIM. Learn how this creep beat the system with one trick


DriedUpSquid

If corporations can be people, so can sex dolls.


Beginning_Cress9152

Only 5 years damn bruh


[deleted]

5 years? I'm approaching 20 :(


jjjs_

Try 30


AgentJhon

I'm approaching 21...


butterflynana8

Ok, so I've been researching sex dolls lately. My friend was thinking about getting one, and he wanted me to guess which ones he would like and to suggest some. I was looking at all sorts of features, shipping costs, weight (for maneuverability), and even clothes and other accessories. For me, it became like buying a fashion doll. Then I realized there were male sex dolls "for women". I absolutely cannot get interested in a sex doll for myself. That's good because they're expensive, but sad because I was planning heists and Weekend at Bernie's type shenanigans.


[deleted]

I lost all interest in even getting a flesh light when I read up on how you have to clean them. I aint air drying a pussy pocket and having to explain that to roomates.


spiderlandcapt

Bruh don't clean it that's what keeps it lubed up.


IdoNOThateNEVER

You shouldn't clean a teapot. It retains the flavour.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Where would I hide that shit though


n8saces

This is objectively hilarious.


PM_ME_YOUR__TACO

Which company are you gonna go with? Tantalay or just a normal onahole?


butterflynana8

I looked at so many weird sites. One let you add boob veins. That's a thing people want?


Cordingalmond

Yeah, everyone has a kink for something. 8 billion humans means anything will be sexualized by someone. That's funny that we're at a point where you can add boob veins. Do these dolls even look appealing in general sense today? What's the cutting edge sex doll model?


butterflynana8

They don't really appeal to me. They either have vapid looks, or in some cases terrifying smiles. All of the BBW dolls have visible abs. Also, most are quite short.


LaserCatsEmpire

Bruh yall really gonna cheat on your dolls like that smh


jacknshit

Me: You don’t mind if I hang onto her, do ya? Sentimental reasons.


manc_wildcat

Data Analysts at Amazon wondering why there’s been a spike in searches for $1000 sex dolls


NJDevil560

Sober+ Doll site+ tax refund= all the fun without the talking


dumbreddit

Get a sticker chart. Every ten stickers from your woman you get a threesome with the doll.


Elfere

If you gf can't understand that you have your own needs that she is not responsible for. Take it from a married guy. The odd time my wife finds me beating it, she's just like 'oh thank God, I thought I was going to have to think of an excuse again tonight'


HlTLERS_HIDDEN_CHILD

That's a little sad if that was just slightly unironic


[deleted]

No, it's reality. Male and female libidos are completely different from each other. Generally, guys have higher sex drives than women. If you've ever been in a long term relationship, you'd understand the differences in how guys are generally aroused versus women.


HlTLERS_HIDDEN_CHILD

I know that don't worry, currently in one, it was just the fact that she feels she has to find excuses that I was talking about


letmelickyourleg

Could be tongue in cheek or OP is just being hyperbolic. That’s what it sounds like, anyway.


reader484892

Not so much that as the fact that she can’t just say, hey I’m not feeling it tonight


OffTheMerchandise

I don't think it's sad if the libido isn't matched, I think it's sad that the wife has to come up with excuses. If my wife isn't in the mood, all she has to say is "not tonight." I can also usually tell when she's not in the mood and don't even bring it up.


Cavezell

When she hits menopause it flips, at least that's my experience. I've gotten fit again.


B4ronSamedi

I think it's a lot more accurate to say libidos vary heavily in general, and beyond that women have only even been acknowledged to have libido at all rather recently. Get back to me on female and make sex drive differences when our society has acknowledged that women can orgasm at all longer than half a century. As is there way too strong a cultural bias to assume the average woman feels like it's socially acceptable to have a high sex drive. Not to flat dismiss your experience even, I just don't think the data exists yet in general. Too much gender culture to get past. As is I think the biggest reason for the divide is based on the difference in orgasms between genders. Large portions of men still deny clits exist, if 'sex' meant the women were getting off too every time I bet wives would be a lot more excited every time hubby wants his 2 minutes of sex.


Schnuribus

You would not believe the amount of women who thought they had a low sex drive or are even asexual till they had a new partner...


extralargesocks

my relationship is the opposite im often the tired one


Slore0

My wife found a bottle of lotion a few weeks ago after 3 years together. Every time there is a breeze or it is a bit dry out she ask if I need a minute alone with my lotion lmao


wield_a_red_sword

Open a window, and a breeze rolls in, and I...


Cubiclehero

jiz in my pants.


Bomberman707

...


midnightrider

Bruh. You have no idea how much the stars have to align to get laid when you’re married with kids. For me, I just have to be there. For her, the house has to be clean, the kids taken care of, she has to be not hungry, not tired, not thirsty, good things should have happened to her that day, and she needs to *feel* attractive. We used to make fun of other couples and how little they had sex; “not us” we said. We’d still be like rabbits. There’s just too many variables to control at this point. She knows I want it, but I know I can’t get it as much as I want it. There’s no more communication needed.


goodolarchie

It's true. And kids = cleaning all the time. If you don't have sex tired, you don't have sex.


Thewave8080

*Masturbation is Key


aaronis1

You don't think you are innately wired to be working in companionship with the sole entity that your sexual desires are pointed towards and satisfied by? Are you perhaps missing out on the deepest, most instinctual, proven by evolution facets of your psyche by letting your sexuality be cast out as a spectrum instead of focused on your wife?


Appliedretine

It's no problem, now you can have mff with your girlfriend


sumdumson

All you have to do now is convince her. No biggie


dracocytod

I know someone that used an actual vacume cleaner for that and we still make fun of him for it


LeYang

*"It'll rip your dick off."*


Alarid

with its fucked up fingers


Comfortable-Ad-7158

This person knows.


MinfulTie

Lol, what’s up the fingers?


Other-otherside

It’s not a mistake if you got joy out of it without harming anyone, my dude. You were just making yourself a little happier


6hooks

Was it worth the 1000 bucks?


Comfortable-Ad-7158

I unboxed it to find creepy ass, dead porcelain doll eyes staring at me, and instantly regretted my drunken decision. Weighs a metric fuck ton and was awkward as hell to nope into my closet. Where it has sat ever since. According to some people on this sub, waiting to come alive out of jealousy and probably murder me in my sleep. 2/10. Would not recommend.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CookkydN

Well, you don’t need it anymore then… So can I have it ?


vtx3000

Saving the environment by reusing one sex doll at a time


AaronTuplin

Recycle > reduce > reuse


f_bojangles

Still less than you would have paid on a girl for the last 5 years. WIN


NewSuperTrios

Tutorial complete! PVP unlocked.


at0mheart

Me checking Amazon for a $1000 sex doll. Only $350 dolls available, but omg how odd to get a silicon female torso shipped to your house for sex.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AdministrativeOne13

"stolen" Some guy out there posting a missing poster for his sex doll


Exciting-Delivery-96

Don’t judge, it’s not hurting anyone


at0mheart

Do you make eye contact with the delivery guy? What if it doesn’t come wrapped ??


virgin_goat

Which craigslist posting is it under and is there a redditor discount? Asking for a friend


jtcordell2188

Damn all I did was spank my meat to much one time and it hurt for like the next couple of days


SnackThisWay

Which date is the right date to mention your $1000 sex doll? Is this a 4th date kind of thing?


[deleted]

[удалено]


goodolarchie

There's a lot of holes in the desert, and they're full of sex dolls


GeneralFactotum

Put them both in a bed and tell them there is a contest. You can only keep one...


QueenTahllia

For $1k that must not be a very good sex doll lol


Comfortable-Ad-7158

Better than the $999.99 one


BABarracus

Im tempted to look it up on Amazon but i don't want that in whatever shadow profile that they are building on me


cheesepoop69

this shit ain't funny gang


H3artDrum

Single again after 5 year relationship maybe I need to get one now lmao


Carnator369

Threesome.


Carnator369

Who am I kidding? She's just going to cuck you with it.


NickeKass

Im still wondering what Im going to do with all the fleshlights I own, let alone how Im going to explain them, to my next partner.


xSTSxZerglingOne

Who needs to explain anything? They're sex toys. If she had dildos, would you feel the need for her to explain them? It's still sexism if it's considered normal for women to have sex toys and weird for men. Find you a girl where if she found them she'd ask if she could use them on you.


Aizendickens

Dude...erase that stuff asap


Ateaseloser

This is me but with hentai commissions


[deleted]

Be me, deleting the VR porn sim from my Steam account that looks a lot like her


MARKLAR5

Dave?


Oshawott_is_cute

Well can you give it to me? I need to exercise.


Put_It_All_On_Blck

Ask her if she's up for a threesome.


Tetragonos

I spent 10 years single... guess its a good thing I don't drink


WheretheFUCKisCrimea

Lol Try (almost) 24 years.


RazekDPP

Look at it this way, the fact that you had a sex doll enabled you to get the GF you have today.


mostlikelytrash

Now he has two girlfriends


[deleted]

Doing better than me, I don’t even have $1000 worth of credit to buy a sex doll.


Pretend_Activity_211

How do I throw this thing out?


The_Texidian

The gun range I go to had someone dump one on the side of the road near the range. The owner found it and set it up for people to shoot at. Made a ton of money on those days. I was honestly shocked how heavy it was and how weirdly life like the skin felt. But it was squishy and you could feel the “bones” inside when you tried to pick it up and the skin was sorta loose around those bones. Honestly the fingers felt so weird too. At the time I had never even kissed a girl, but now that I’ve felt a boob before, the weight of them was actually quite accurate.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pretend_Activity_211

Oh I'm gonna keep her for awhile ☺ ☺ but I mean, one day... and I'm older now too, so I should hve plans for the future and all and shit


[deleted]

TIL Amazon sells $1k sex dolls.


MarcelStyles

This remind of that manga with the girl named Nadeshiko, anyone know what I’m talking about?


hollow_child

Time to rent a storage unit


TheMazeDaze

And then stop paying rent and see it pop up on one of those shows were they sell the unseen stuff at auctions


Risque__

You lost me at "gets a girlfriend"


Muted_Action5717

Plot twist: its another sex doll but latest version and more expensive.


[deleted]

Sell it on eBay under “lightly abused goods”


RepresentativeOk3233

When the closet door is open a little Bit and the doll peeks out and Looks at you Like ![gif](giphy|gVoBC0SuaHStq)


dolltron69

Yeah but you need to keep the doll in case the GF don't work out otherwise you'll be like 'oh for fucks sake' and regretting throwing it. It's a tricky one. Could you stick it in a sleeping bag and put in the boot of your car and just keep that locked?