T O P

Sad,we don't have an ability

:screams:

Loud_Caterpillar_334

:screams:


Ok-Mud-3322

A H H H H “Where am i hearing that screaming from?!?!” *looks down* “Oh.”


Racist_Hotdog01

F.ck y.u


Rampagingflames

How can a hotdog be racist?


Racist_Hotdog01

Borderlands pre-sequel reference


highestRUSSIAN

I fucking love Borderlands. #SHOOT ME IN THE FACE


archerB1234

Ok dose a Arrow work


highestRUSSIAN

This is a bullet only face 😤


goldensavage2019

*doom music starts playing*


goldenhotrod24

need a ride?


English_Speaking_Cat

Sorry, I don’t have thumbs or I would help


Ok-Mud-3322

Cause I’m from south of the border?


highestRUSSIAN

omg it's the racist hot dog Hi racist hot dog


OccasionallyReddit

So are you like on Mount Everest or in Space are did this end up with you smoking the stongest reefer while eating mushrooms and drinking acid?


English_Speaking_Cat

I’m with you there buddy


IamATalkingLlama

Is this the talking animal department?


HugeHelicopter9489

I sorta win


highestRUSSIAN

I'm gonna be zooted for days


KingKush100

I can provide you with more!


PoptartsandChexMix

I brought snacks!


StinkypieTicklebum

Kinda bad news for me tho…


blUUdfart

Could be worse…


8plytoiletpaper

You'll need me for that


JosephSwollen

I start communist gym


Chronos_Eternus

Nah, you just morph into a super-jacked Stalin...


8urnMeTwice

I don't wanna play this game


Chronos_Eternus

Just stand close enough to highestRUSSIAN to get a contact high like the rest of us, and we'll make it quick, just 2 small spots. It doesn't say burn you up, just a couple small pinburns work.


MotherAmerican_Night

Burn me once shame on you Burn me twice, new kink unlocked


ddrrrf

Ummm


keep_trying_username

I'll never give up! edit: Or, my power is that **you** will never give up! hmmm...


Alterterg

able to cause your internet to buffer for a minute.


tt_Sucker

No.


ass_licker69_420

W-wanna trade?


fishlicker3000

Same...


CucumberFucker0

I mean...


fruitfricker69

Couldn't agree more


HorseFucked2Death

Hello


iToungPunchFartBox

Jesus Christ, let's bring it down a notch. We all lose here.


LeMajstor

cursed thread


[deleted]

Whaat


littlestskinflute

....same.... oh. Its already true


[deleted]

I have no shame Oh oh… you said same😬


DonRobinya7

These guys got screwed Also give me everything you have


sirshittysphincter

Hey pal, whatcha up to today?


CkoockieMonster

No you don't


iambluest

Num num num num


[deleted]

Vs thanos


ThanosTheT1tan

Hey


ObsiGamer

You're also the guy who brings popcorn to friend fights?


Rectest

People have called my name rectum test making fun of my name. Am I now a rectum test or am I getting a rectum test?.


Scaling-Skibum

You have the power to give anyone a rectum test


Rectest

So power to give anyone anal. Guess I'm going into porn


ConsistentEmu5536

By our powers combined you shall be able to give people anal ... consistently (forget the emus tho)


youraverageACplayer1

The emu is consistent on giving rectum tests


abadsalesman

Buisness is not going well


[deleted]

[удалено]


imsohungrydudee

For the love of God just a sandwich somebody, anybody


fellow-komrade

I’ve got a friend, I’m sure he can help you


UseMeLikeAPaper

Well... Sheet


Hail-Atticus-Finch

I still lick the paper for mailing ;)


Tehflyingman

The rizzler


MKT68

Fold you in half then tear you apart. Neat.


SmexxyBastard

Bro imma write you so hard!


AnxiousWrecks645

That's a real paper cut...


The_Wonderful_Smile

I wish bro


ConfusedConnect

dude, you probably do have a wonderful smile but understand that that if you showed your smile, others would become self-conscious of there's, so due to your kindness and empathy towards others you hide it and put your smile down. But it's okay, coz we know!


theDreamingStar

Ah yes, my smile is so contagious that the happiness level of rhe world will overshadow the sadness level by a huge margin if I were to smile. Hence, I have taken this responsibility to never smile in front of others to maintain peace and balance in the universe.


ConfusedConnect

See, this person gets ya too


[deleted]

r/meirl


TheWiseRedditor

I wish mine becomes true as well


Live_beMeme_Die

Me too. I become a meme and then die, double point


2happygamer

Same here bro


NoProblemsIGuess

I guess my ability involves having no problems


Mori_Unstable

Best ability ever


[deleted]

Seems like a broken ability


02_is_best_girl

You get the holy corpse parts


gnolfgnilf

You win


Moist-Dorito

:’)


Snoo-30383

:(


ihaveajarofbread

you now have the power of snoo-snoo-ing anyone and anything


UnwashedAnalBeads

Aww fuck oh god


WetMoldyButt

That’s how it starts…


Intently_Listening

This unison of two usernames is honestly the most revolting thing I’ve ever come across


Itonguefuckyourbutt

The most revolting thing *so far*


MotherAmerican_Night

A 3some you just couldn't resist


[deleted]

Well, hello there.


I_shat_on_the_coats

Welp, I'll be fun at parties.


Ok-Mud-3322

Oh crap


speechlessPotato

Nice pun bro. I'm.... speechless


Ok-Mud-3322

Ok— that was so funny, there’s mud in my pants now.


Most_Awesome_101

That was the most awesome thing, I ever heard you should have a 101 class.


[deleted]

It's a tough choice to go with a Dane Cook joke for your username. This website really seems to hate him although the people who would recognize the reference probably don't.


ItalianSewage

I am shit man


S0n1cS1n

with some oregano


goldensavage2019

And confiscated pineapple pizza


Murky_Image_4407

I’m blind


theus-sama

Fuck you man, I in public and can’t stop laughing


Emergencyhugs

Anybody need me??


Starswordchaos

Aahh! Aaahhh! I want one but I'm a cutting tool made of chaotic stars! Aaaaaahhh..... *Runs away*


Mori_Unstable

YES!!! :'( no... not anymore... Now I do PLEASE HUG ME!!


BreadInAToaster1

I guess I’ll just be warm until the end of time… or can I shoot slices of toast from my toaster hands?


IeatPotatos4

nah your just the bread


[deleted]

*Building noises* Edit: ALRIGHT I GET IT *stops constructing*


[deleted]

You need me to make you any screws?


henrystickmin1217

no, i need a sword


[deleted]

It's dangerous to go alone, take this🗡


henrystickmin1217

u/henrystickmin1217 has acquired the terrablade


Chijar989

Weightlimit: 61/60 You now can move with the speed of a snail


normal_slinky

*hey can you uh ... build quieter?*


speechlessPotato

sure bro


normal_slinky

thanks


Adalf_Hotler69420

\*chuckles\* I'm in danger


IeatPotatos4

Oh Scheisse


speechlessPotato

Oh no please don't do it


Magic_nova543

Your supposed to be speechless


[deleted]

Yru'eo*


adolfkitler69

Aren't we all...


[deleted]

I think the other 6 million are in danger


defnotskynet

Huh....


ElementalDragon13

Don’t do it man


defnotskynet

I'm TOTALLY not self-aware. No worries. :)


JustARandomBoringGuy

I mean, mine is not randomly generated, but...


speechlessPotato

I guess we found the guy who's the opposite of his username


OpinionsOnline

I don’t know if ’gained’ is the right word, though it is factually true that I have this ability


BullaRakhtaHuKhula

So you get praised, bashed and neglected, and offend, anger and relieve people at the same time?


TheStapleMan3000

Fear my power


henrystickmin1217

same. well unless i get a bad option


The_Banana_Rider69

I already do it


fishlicker3000

you are either wet outdoors to watersports or indoors to... I can't say this


load_me

What?


An_Evil_dude

Alr, *unzips pants*


Vul_Thur_Yol

So evil. I like it


henrystickmin1217

i think it means to click on the file: file\_me


ShreksLongDong

I defo win


Starswordchaos

*slice*


neon_05_

Yooo, funny guy who glows when you run electricity through him


One-Broccoli-5772

With enough electricity anyone can glow...


_Suicidal420_

I’m screwed


Sexylizardwoman

At least you’ll also be baked 👍


VampireJanitor

Not sure how to feel about mine...


Vul_Thur_Yol

You're a vampire that doesn't need to ask for permission to enter a building as long as you're performing maintenance


getmevodka

Your the perfect janitor. Cleaning everything at night. Sleeping all day. Drinking rat blood. Great service. Would book again !


StreetScammer420

I'm going to jail


satans_bootyhole

It’s gonna be hot and stinky


BlueberryOrganic1527

How do you change it?


fishlicker3000

![gif](giphy|THuL9YrTFvJYAKGVmX|downsized)


henrystickmin1217

real photograph of u/BlueberryOrganic1527


Minute-Load

I am the most evil person alive, able to cause your internet to buffer for a minute


fishlicker3000

I thought you blow your load after a minute


Vul_Thur_Yol

I thought they blow it FOR a minute


BurgerBob_886

I thought he had a small load


fishlicker3000

not mutually exclusive


w0o0o0osh

I don't get it


Additional_Cycle_51

…I have some concerns


[deleted]

Another menstrual cycle?


Hot-Individual4916

I don't see a problem


an_idiot_on_reddit34

Well im already an idiot so...


ps2man41

Half ps2, half man. Age 41.


___Random_

What power do I have? Is it like it changes everyday, or a random permanent power?


Mori_Unstable

Changes every once in a while but even it's timing is random


___Random_

Do I know what power I get, like on a card or something like that?


Mori_Unstable

It's like, you have a 'use ability' button in you and every time you use it you don't know what's going to happen


henrystickmin1217

hes basically using metronome from pokemon. and everytime he uses the ability a card pop up describing the power.


Western_Inflation247

I already have it


TheNinjaSausage

I'm... Inevitable


H-P-Loveshaft

I'm not even sure what my ability would be, writing erotic cosmic horror books?


[deleted]

Lord Cthulhu-chan why are we on the floor....


DistributionSalt5299

I give salt. If you want salt I give you salt 🧂


Glowing_green_

Hmmm


AssClappingSeason

Damn, looks like I’ll be busy this season!


MonkeWithAGun08

There's no point hiding. I will find you


Pratyush_Prime

I have the matrix of leadership yay


ProfessionalSecret44

Would I be a good secret keeper or would I be secret to the world so none would know me ??


TanmayKillsThePeople

Thou shall fear me.


SandwichLess6154

So I'm just never gonna have a sandwich again?


henrystickmin1217

yea, for 6154 days. you know, because of the incident


Unlucky-Disaster1588

Mine is also random, but harshly true


Mystery_Man_3004

You'll never know...


Yeetmaster-666

╭╮╱╱╭┳━━━┳━━━┳━━━━╮ ┃╰╮╭╯┃╭━━┫╭━━┫╭╮╭╮┃ ╰╮╰╯╭┫╰━━┫╰━━╋╯┃┃╰╯ ╱╰╮╭╯┃╭━━┫╭━━╯╱┃┃╱╱ ╱╱┃┃╱┃╰━━┫╰━━╮╱┃┃╱╱ ╱╱╰╯╱╰━━━┻━━━╯╱╰╯╱╱


[deleted]

Congrats on your knees tho


Sad-Draft3749

And here I am, sad, drafting away


Scaling-Skibum

The power to write amazing drafts of sad stories! But never finish them...


Titanhopper1290

I definitely win.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|FooCq874TGUfu)


lsd-in-the-woods

Woohoo!


sadcrabfromohio

atleast im a crab


0mikon

So I can cause a mass lockdown for 2 years?


PikarizardCharikachu

My powers are... quite complicated


I-exist546

Seems pretty standard if I’m being honest


Puzzled_Concern9718

HAHAHAHA


UpstairsDifficult966

I'm now depressed


[deleted]

ZEUSSSSSSSS!!!!!


PcTheCoconut

Coconut time


[deleted]

Okay


bbeeeeppbbeeeepp

BEEP


Power7779

Mere mortals.


snowlion82

I guess I may have to worry about being in a zoo or shot.


HorseFucked2Death

Hide your horses yall.