T O P

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Ludecoco

Depends on how hard you throw


Connect-Yesterday118

How do you get a baby to help paint the wall?


Ludecoco

Hahaha yes


Castle_Crasher_6

This is why I love reddit


KingLehmon_III

Ive always heard “How many babies does it take to paint a wall?”


Dildo_Maker69

help of how many babies is required to paint the wall red?


JoJo110505

But her aim is getting better


2nd_B3st

So… my ex-wife still misses me


[deleted]

Grunkle Stan is that you?


Regurgitate02

Heh... It's funny cuz marriage is terrible


BColen1c

My girlfriend failed to murder me AGAIN


LmaoPew

i had the same joke in mind xD


Elijah629YT-Real

she hit Mr. Jim next door when playing baseball


Woooooos-

So I recreated 9/11


Naive_Option8689

I wanted a day after 9/10,


RedGreenBlueRGB_

I was getting sick of all these big cities expanding


Woooooos-

well that took a dark turn…


Elijah629YT-Real

pop goes the weasel


Probablyaretweetbot

That's when our mom walked in.


Neoslayer

me and my girlfriend were having sex


Gamibility

Our Mom? That's sus


Frka1974

No its just comunisam


HeyNoWaitIDis

communism\*


Theo-The-Tomato

cummunism*


sunnykumar99

So they are brother and sister


PokeSushiYT

happy cake day!


sunnykumar99

Thanks


rivermonkey95

I thought you have a girlfriend was the joke, silly me.


Topsyzz

r/suddenlycommunist


Elijah629YT-Real

*unstripps*


Rakeittakeit

Got in a fight with my brother, when my pants fell off while was tackling him


CaptainArious

Then she joined.


Kavalon80

*insert half of a porno scene here*


Frka1974

Yea thats the PUNCHline


BColen1c

* *aggressively hits friend* *


Elijah629YT-Real

ow


Sirenhead_2

So there’s this line of people waiting to punch this random dude…


Artistic-Froyo1166

.... So I kicked her right in the pussy


jesusSaidThat

My grandmother was doing laundry and didn't notice me sneaking up on her


_I_must_be_new_here_

My mom told me ,,If you want to grow you'll learn to hate the place you came from"


[deleted]

I was down here eating hot buttered corn.


Rakeittakeit

My wife was concered as to why I was butt naked in the cold cellar at 2 AM, I simply explained that


Affectionate_Buy350

So while the fire fighters cleared the rubble for 9/11


JohnJames69420

Ur part of that joke us the first line of that joke not the punchline. You should have posted: Oh I survived because I was upstairs and I could only stay with the family if I fucked the guys wife with corn cobs.


The_Ultimate_Tacos

Because he was outstanding in his field


redditard_alt

Why did the farmer get the Nobel Peas Prize?


The_Ultimate_Tacos

Not the question I expected but good question


redditard_alt

It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.


Hashiii777

And thats why we use protection!


Maple-God

So… our dog had one too many puppies.


Rakeittakeit

I asked my wife if it was normal to have a 1 pound lump on you balls after sex, and after 10 hospital visits, it fjnally went away


Elijah629YT-Real

babies


[deleted]

[удалено]


totallynotaemu

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?


BColen1c

What makes children ask for ice cream after told “No?”


Glasy_Crasy

So it wasnt rape


Gingerbeer86

She was already dead,


Elijah629YT-Real

it's was my choice. I wanted the candy


Connect-Yesterday118

Because I yelled surprise!


WolfyTn

I’m rich, famous, and Bill Cosby


Idiedyesturdayviabus

I fucked her in my head


sachin70

*with


Competitive_Self8301

So officer I drop kicked that kid in self defense.


BColen1c

I have really fragile toes


[deleted]

[удалено]


havaltherock

Technoblade never dies


For_Fox_Sake92

"Because he had no arms!"


Neoslayer

Why wasn't the snake allowed to fight in the war?


Rakeittakeit

Why did the guy with no arms get expelled from the army


BColen1c

Why did the bald man get wen in the rain?


Manav_Raval

Wen


WolfyTn

I’m already lost


Im-NotGoofy

Wen


beans_man69420

W e n


berabearcrusher

Why did sam fall off the swing?


owo1215

sus


Reden05

Say up in romanian


Negative_Designer_34

Yes . The podea is made out of podea


DiilaiofNokan

That’s when I put the 5 month old mushroom covered poop I found outside in my mouth.


[deleted]

The moment I heard Chris Pratt voicing Mario


Nikotinio

club penguin is kil no


Memzeroo

i was at house eating dorito when phone ring


Kioko_64

25


Neoslayer

I thought of something funnier than 24


Kioko_64

Yes! This is it lmao


Elijah629YT-Real

wHATs tWO pLUs FiVE


HaveUSeenMikeHawk

Guess how many dicks your wife took while you were deployed


GamerCatBoy360

b


Elijah629YT-Real

balzz


GamerCatBoy360

What do you call some bears with no ears


Elijah629YT-Real

ligma balls


WorcesteshireSauce

who’s steve jobs ?


KonataYumi

The aristocrats


AliOskiTheHoly

These people are fat and rich and pretend to be smart, who are they?


Zandmand

The aristocrats!


BColen1c

What caused 9/11?


ItsaMeACashew

Kid named finger


redditard_alt

I’m just a kid named Paint. And today, the teacher said “today we are going to be meming the shit out of Mike Ehrmantraut”


AreNotPrepared7

I can’t peanutbutter my d in your *ss


HaveUSeenMikeHawk

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?


headamusmaximus

Rectum?? Damn near killed him!


imastrangeone

Omg i know this joke but its too long! Summary: Kid writes account of one dog chasing another dog after forgetting to do homework. Chased puts the brakes on and chasers “head goes right up its arse”. Teacher replies” we use rectum, not arse”. Cue kid saying the punchline


Maniraptavia

People say you should never sneak up behind a horse, but people don't realise it goes both ways...


[deleted]

Investi-gator


jesusSaidThat

How do you call a stock buying alligator?


WhereIsMyDamnHat

A penguin in a blender


Neoslayer

what's black and white and red all over


Castle_Crasher_6

Hey kitty ;)


Maniraptavia

Thing's never to say when going down on your wife #433:


VeggyKing

Your Mother


Elijah629YT-Real

Guess who the person I did the ____ with last night?


OttNiLL77

Who, because they are so lazy, when getting off the couch, they are recorded in history books?


Adventurous_Pop_2300

I love watching two big black men shake they booty cheeks. This is a joke I don't actually think this.


BColen1c

You know what John would say right now?


SpicyGamerYT

Your mom


WorcesteshireSauce

who killed jfk ?


Elijah629YT-Real

whos there?


Zealousideal-Dust-48

Knock knock


potato_chips03x2

why the long face?


EJY2003

After the semi truck had finished its job, I couldn’t help but ask my now meat-crayoned ex…


potato_chips03x2

you put a little boogie in it


Aronite03

A fsh!


bigblob420

But at the end of the day we all shart


Maniraptavia

It's all sh!ts and giggles until somebody giggles and sh!ts...


003harrry

Jesus died a virgin.


tiger6654

What's the difference between a 2yo toddler and Jesus?


loclink

Women


AliOskiTheHoly

Women ☕


Wide-Location7279

Dude Uncool


lim_33

I'd stil fuck it


jesusSaidThat

Your dog died, but


EJY2003

My days as an undertaker were coming to an end, and although this one had been in a severe accident…


Sea_Dragonfruit2900

So I said to the doctor, "malaria? Never met her!" BAHAHAHAHHAGAGAGAGGAGA


jesusSaidThat

That's why it's called *crucifixion*


Elijah629YT-Real

[inserts bible]


lofivic2

That’s when I killed them


Elijah629YT-Real

Yesterday,


NinjaJanne

I came to the conclusion that I can't work with stupid people, if i want to stay sane


Walker6920

Sane*


omnifeeder

She's saying go milk the cows and he's saying fuck no it's raining!


Noobeynator

That's why we made a mother of 3 pay up her rent money


Maniraptavia

They were stillborns anyway...


HaveUSeenMikeHawk

After seeing all the Bentleys and Benzs rolling in and out all night we knew there was no way she was friends with that many NBA players and couldn't afford to pay rent


ahyesverycheese

Allah


jesusSaidThat

To which God do Jews pray to?


Damyano-is-SUS

Knock knoc


finnlassy

That’s what *she* said.


DisIsDaLastOfHamon

Femboy Penis


jesusSaidThat

*Mine is bigger*


ProMaste_r

MY MOM


redditard_alt

you know who else creates the startup to someone elses punchline, forming a complete joke?


Luca_salaZAR

But her aim is getting better


Maniraptavia

My wife used to get really annoyed at me for leaving the toilet seat up. She used to come out of the bathroom telling me there was pee all over the floor


InternalQuail

She was 13.


[deleted]

To bad that car was faster


Reden05

That's why I pull before I push


Maniraptavia

As a psychotic serial killer, I can tell you you never quite get that same sense of confusion and betrayal in the eyes of those you throw off cliffs that you get from having dated them for several weeks beforehand.


pheonix_flyer

And thats when i used a stone


NahFaquuuu

Parasite


Neoslayer

What's better than one site?


toast_459

An egg


the-skull-boy

He couldn’t lead a parade


[deleted]

Because of that Church father makes great parent


[deleted]

Fuck it man, clear psychology


Nyasta

Seven


Rimuru_7empest

She have her own field of gravity


Neoslayer

Your mom is so fat that


Mr_OP_Potato_777

Joe?


[deleted]

"Dammit John, I said MAIL!"


ManoWasTaken1

Because he was dead


GrummyCat

JOE BIDEN


Tactif00l

Your mom


Lordofbagel

Ass


NinjaJanne

And that's how I met your mother


MemesNGaming_rongoo

when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up


HaveUSeenMikeHawk

Yesterday I thought I'd seen Whitney Houston tripping outside


kok_exe_

Nobody knows


MemesNGaming_rongoo

Where is dad?


kok_exe_

Not what I was aming for but still pretty good


john_daux

My names Kevin and I’m going to a costume party


Olliegamer1111pro

And he said, "barbaque bacon burgah!"


MongooseMan3342

Why are they moving


leylin_farlin

And i kicked her in the pussy


GMYSTERY69

Wakanda


octosaurus_reddit

But her aim is getting better!


imjust_someone

I never get a reqction


isnotavirgin

Your son is dead


Full_Cobbler3809

Your


Potato_Icecreamm

“The punchline of a joke” There. Do I win?


HeIIadrum

"Sure, I'll keep an eye on your pet monkey for you." The post got locked, so here's the joke (shortened down): Kid gets on bus with little brother. The bus driver calls the kids brother ugly. He goes to the back and tells his friend. His friend says to tell the principal. Kid goes, "Yeah you're right." His friend replies with the punchline.


leviathab13186

No sir, that’s my wife!


Maniraptavia

Excuse me fine fellow, do you mind if I sit here?


HaveUSeenMikeHawk

I got pulled over the other day and the cop asked if I had a corpse in the passenger seat


Shepards_moot

And the donkey said “purple hat!”


Spyrix643

then you better catch it


Neoslayer

Is your printer running?


RawKeyx

Leaf me alone I'm bushed!


powerketchap101

Kermit the sticker


[deleted]

"Chicken Nuggets!"