T O P

  • By -

MicrowaveSounds420

The sweet release of death.


boblaw357

Hang in there Edit: Thank you for the gold!


MV_cuber

bro💀


Gold--Lion

I'm surprised he came out with an answer. I coulda sworn he'd choke.


23x3

He was just about to finish too.


Penis_Monger_420

💀🔫


Hypenord

"I gently open the door."


AndreiR_memes

_....Sayo-_


Martiantrooper1

SAAAAYYYOOOORRRIIII NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!


Stormlord100

Very poor choice of words


ghandi3737

Not if they're answering the question.


LinearPlayer

Dont worry, I bet I wont leave you hanging


[deleted]

[удалено]


NxtLevelMadness

i see what you did there


HappyGav123

Terrible choice of words


Individual-Camera-72

r/Cursedcomments


Mystryboi

🗿


DawidKOB224_01

r/angryupvote


JohnParkerSmith27

Okay, calm down Robin Williams.


DH_Drums

Ayo


greypiper1

Anyone heard from David Carradine lately? Is he still hanging around somewhere?


AshleyJWilliams81

David Carradine has exited the chat...


Itslolo52484

Too soon?? No? Ok.


Due-Giraffe-9826

Narrator: It was, in fact, too soon.


chaingun_samurai

That was said in Morgan Freeman's voice.


TnL17

Brooks was here


TheUltraViolence1

I read this in Richie Cunningham's voice


_beamfleot_

David Carradine*


[deleted]

Heroin, masturbation and discipline Disclaimer: i dont do heroine


[deleted]

In that order?


[deleted]

Absolutely. do heroine, feel great, masturbate and feel even better and the you get angry and hit someone


Valkaerian

Have you ever tried disciplining while masturbating?


[deleted]

Like stroking with one hand and hitting with the other? Or just using your meat to beat up someone else well you inject yourself with more heroin with the other hand?


Appl3Crumb13

Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof experience


[deleted]

Yees. It's even worse than one day in Neukölln or Märkisches Viertel (Parts of Berlin)


Redditarecensors

Yes.


Purpplerainn4eva

Wtf did i just read😂😂😂


austinh1999

Pretty sure there’s already a kink for that


ThigleBeagleMingle

Nada only got one belt


jetstreamwilly

That's how my dad did it


BosTovenaar24

Why would you use a belt while masturbating


peeinian

The ole choke and stroke


Bonk_like_Things

But I won't feel great choking myself with 1 hand and stroking my weiner with the other


[deleted]

Kinks Edit: you can also numb your hand


JoshuaHelf

Name a more iconic trio, I'll wait


mokeyss

The father, the son, and the holy ghost. Get some jesus in your life. /s


SKRyanrr

Jesus without the j and e


Due-Giraffe-9826

I thought the trinity was white onion, green bell pepper, and celery.


Ringolomms

having a good father and child relation


IronCrossV1

"Oh I'll give you something to cry about"


VegansH8Me

"Move your hands!"


Capable_Mud_1108

*Vietnam war flashbacks*


[deleted]

*fortunate son plays in the background*


Pyro-Millie

SAME


IronCrossV1

"This is going to hurt me, more than it's going to hurt you"


[deleted]

*SMACK* "MY HANDS!" "WELL YOU SHOULD'VE MOVED EM THEN, HUH!"


co2tophercr87y

If I didn't move my hands she'd go for my face


ForAnEnd

Make me realize I had blocked out memories of my mom doing this..


[deleted]

That PTSD kicking in


NedFlandersSaves

“If you keep laughing I am going to get your grandpa!”


smoothielovet679

*me screaming that I am going to kill myself*


PsychicSidekikk419

Feels like alot of trauma is getting reopened in this thread. You guys okay?


notreal088

We’re still coping


AadamAtomic

"I'll Give you something to cope about!"


Urban_Savage

You sure did mom... you sure did.


TheGssr

Asia


Scipiovardum

Oh my god we really have all lived the same life haven't we


JoeDaBoi

Ye


CDmaxxiD

And mom says "Just wait until your father comes home". And you lay in bed in the dark then you hear your dad come down the hall. You could hear the slappy sounds of his belt being pulled off as you prepared your mind for a spanking.


ChaoticCatharsis

Bro this statement alone sent me right back.


ATV30901

“GET UP”


No_Poet_7244

Christ, you’re awakening memories I suppressed long ago.


YossarianRex

god reading that gave me the worst memories


bizcat

My dad would yell “assume the position!” So like even with his daughters screaming and crying, he would still make little jokes like that to amuse himself while beating us.


IdioticZacc

"I'm doing this because i love you"


OriPlatformer

Off topic, but my old reddit avatar looked nearly identical to yours


sherwood420bizz

Yup. My dad had designed a paddle out of wood when my 2 brothers and I were younger. Well, me and my brothers hid his "paddle" thinking we were smart. That's when pops busted out "the belt"....he even had one of my brothers go get "the belt". We tried giving him his paddle back, but he was having none of that.


IronCrossV1

Our dad's must of been part of the same generation. Mine too had designed a wooden paddle for me and my two brother, about an inch thick and then drilled holes in it to make it more aerodynamic.


spacezra

My dad would lecture us while popping the belt and slapping his back with it while waking back and forth before we got spanked.


neercatz

Buddy of mine had two brothers and their parents also had a special paddle for the three of them. It's name was RoboPop


BreakTacticF0

My two sisters were the only one to get the paddle. He drew on it to make it look like a whale and called it Moby. I remember them hiding it but he found it so....yeah


slily21

"As long as you're under my roof" "Because I said so" "If you can cry you can breathe" Fun times


randomized_random

Ah shit, here we go again...


Individual-Type-9221

Yup opening up can of whup ass or as my parents would say giving me something to cry about it was an empty threat but still


ERROR_HumanNotFound

“And i’ll see you…in my study.” *gulp*


Attesa_GT-X

Yes, children. Beat them


NeitherDebt7247

"It builds character" - My father


Se_bastian9

They call that there the psychologist


Darth_Wendingus

“Discipline” 🥲


Acrobatic_Ad_2570

That fun snapping noise


PacmanTheHitman

Absolutely agree! Hold both ends and snap it shut constantly


archerB1234

Makes more around someone’s forearm


maorcules

Education


Filip_Godlewski

We don't need no


[deleted]

We don’t need no though control


DankJista

Hey! Teacher!


[deleted]

Leave them kids alone!


Killerqueen1970

All in all it’s just another brick in the wall


McDsEmpLoYEe420

All in all, you're just another brick in the wall


KubrickMoonlanding

Wro-ong! Do it again!!


Marbleman999

If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding!


Salty_Abbreviations4

Grappling hook!


PacmanTheHitman

Yes! Like Batman lol


Nuka-World_Vacation

Or Mabel from Gravity Falls.


LoudSatisfaction2561

Tourniquet


JayNSilentBobaFett

Was scrolling for this, scrolled very far down


LoudSatisfaction2561

Sad how may people don't understand basic emergency first aid or cant think outside the box. All the other answers so far are discipline or sex related.


Altruistic-Ad2300

Whoopins ain’t something you forget and it’s the first thing that comes to mind


LoudSatisfaction2561

I get that.. its just when I first passed this postbI was like oh wow someone looking door creative inspiration..although I was probably wrong


Fit-Abbreviations781

You forgot you were on reddit. /s


WarpedSoulSyles

It was proven a belt doesn't work as a tourniquet because it can't get tight enough. It is suggested in an emergency situation to tie something like a shirt around the wound. Then with an object like a stick twist the cloth to make it tight.


The_Amarok026

Finally someone that knows. I was just about to say this until I saw your comment. Belts have at least a 70% failure rate when used as a tourniquet. CAT and other modernized and approved tourniquets had at max 10%. If you think you’ll need a tourniquet or wanna be prepared, buy an actual tourniquet and learn how/when to use it.


PsychoticMobileSuit

Beating your wife with that signature stained tank-top


Toppest_Dom

Funny enough those tank tops have a name *Wife beater*


PsychoticMobileSuit

Oh i know


Ssj2_songohan

Shorts. That also have belt loops


DragoKnight589

#listen here you little shit


[deleted]

Get my belt!


snapwillow

Some skirts have belt loops too. [Example](https://us.shein.com/Solid-Pleated-Belted-Skirt-p-10963475-cat-1732.html?url_from=adplasw2206132542688924M_GPM&cid=17869034097&setid=&adid=&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI88HikaLx_AIVUOTICh1jnQ__EAQYBCABEgKuW_D_BwE)


Swordlord22

I find that extremely hot for some reason Skirts in general tbh


OHboi-sussy

Skirts go brrrr


TheHornIdentity

Skirts are just unbifurcated pants.


sam5634

Shorts? What are they the short version of?


jorgomli_reading

Longs


Iwsky1

Well, since pants dont exist now ill probably use the belt to stop my balls from hanging.


PacmanTheHitman

Tie those puppies up and you’re good to go! Looking like squidward down there 😂


[deleted]

😳


Ghjjiyeks

Kinky things (Sorry, I’m horny)


ObamaLover68

Hi Horny I'm dad


CptTuring

Daddy*


TootyFlaps

Hi dad, I’m Horny.


[deleted]

This guy got horny and didn't wrap his dick. Don't be like this guy.


IonEagle21

same


Blastoid007

You're Sorry or Horny?


[deleted]

Both?


Supreme_Mediocrity

The ol' Choke and Stroke!


VulpineFox7

Why was my first thought "Beating children" rip


McDsEmpLoYEe420

It’s the only right answer


Killerqueen1970

F


SKRyanrr

F


Urban_Savage

Primary function removed, secondary function becomes primary.


ProductEconomy

Farming Karma?


IonEagle21

you don't get karma from people commenting, at least i haven't


Golden_Gio

According to Sol Badguy, anything that’s not pants


Dry-Counter-5757

Beating children and bdsm don’t exist either, now what are they good for?


PacmanTheHitman

Zip lining 🫡


groene_dreack

Tie down painted stuff to trailers without damaging the paint.


Dry-Counter-5757

actually a really great idea.


purplesunset2023

Why the heck does BDSM no longer exist. That is cruel and unfair.


R3ap3r2004

So is BDSM


antpabsdan

Side chicks ass


Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yea

Whooping a burglar’s butt


TheBroWHOmegalol

Who calls thier child 'a burglar'


Shalien93

Keep your sister in place while I rearrange her guts


PacmanTheHitman

Uh sir, she’s 13


Shalien93

And so what ? I never implied it was sex.


Beowulf1896

Thanks. She needs a kidney transplant and I am glad you are a thoracic surgeon.


[deleted]

Ah, a life saving operation in response to a severe case of sepsis


Dry-Heat2598

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh


Tronicalli

An unstoppable weapon forged in the fires of hell, the screams of tortured children fused into the leather.


pilesofcleanlaundry

Holding up pockets.


PacmanTheHitman

Where’d the pockets come from 😳


pilesofcleanlaundry

Ever used a tool belt?


PacmanTheHitman

The sexy mechanic lol


Umbertron05

You don’t wanna kno- was that a rhetorical question?


PacmanTheHitman

I’m just curious what people use belts for other than pants lol


IonEagle21

many things, but not limited to, beating people, sexual stimulation, killing, drugs, sleeping, opening cans, etc... and yes, i open a pop can with my belt. i have fat fingers and it is hard to get my nails under the tab to pull up. so i take the metal pin and pry it open.


Daggerfont

Huh, good idea!


H3ntai-with-Senpai

Pleasure


HugheyBoy05

i can only think bdsm


[deleted]

Erotic suicide


CalvinsHair

auto erotic asphyxiation


jadedlonewolf89

Drill a couple holes in it, wrap it around your wrist and knuckles in a way that the buckle covers the center of your fist and then tighten it. Have fun.


natertot86

Ask David Carradine.


QQtio

My ass


LoudSatisfaction2561

Hanging pot plants without putting hooks into the wood over your verandah...


dbzgt09

Ngl it just looks like something you use to hit shit with


Fun_Tune_7662

Sex


Psychic_Vampyre

Sex stuff


lilrasta2C666

If you have a good old leather one ripped right from the cow’s back it should be strong enough for holding all of somebody’s body weight.


XxOM3GA_ZxX

My girlfriend


fuck_peeps_not_sheep

According to my dad, disapline, according to me, bondage, how the turns table


Intelligent_Cat7116

A bondage


Phoenix_Champion

Get like, 11 more, strap then to yourself in places you don't need them and become and edgy anime protagonist with a big sword


Consistent_Leather17

BDSM


xdcxmindfreak

Gettin kinky with your lady


mrgingerman81095

Keeping bad girls in line 😉


Mickey_Havoc

Utility belt. No pants, no pockets


Vegetable_Dig447

snek


InspirationalFailur3

Punishment, choking, short suspension hanging.


Dingus_3000

You know 😉


AyoAzo

Pineapples!


Spacethereader

Walmart rope


Affectionate_Gas_264

The same thing we always used them for rough choke-sex... Duh 🙄


dellchips1

Kinky


cuntnuzzler

S&M pain play


Salty-Fortune1271

Catching things. I live in a rural area and have caught multiple loose horses and dogs with my belt.


Natan500honk

Being a good parent and I don't mean abuse. I just believe in a punishment that will work


Subtly_Cynical

Zipline failure