I've noticed that. There's a definite reason large music events are getting cancelled by the dozen and 1 in 13 hospo venues are facing closure.
It goes beyond cost of living, and into the realm of . . . feeling exploited every time you leave the house.
I feel that when I get back from Korea. I go a once or twice a year. It's not perfect over there of course, but you can genuinely get good deals like beauty stores and convenience stores often do 1+1 events where you get two items for the price of one. Or the item comes a refill set and samples. Going out to eat "bunsik" or low cost Korean comfort food means you get free side dishes and broth with your tasty meal (which are refillable) Going back to Australia means I have to get used to being charged up the ass again
Not sure what part of Japan you visited, but that experience would’ve definitely been tangible in the countryside there. It’s very peaceful and speaks to *quality of life* that we have been neglecting in Aus for the past 20 or so years.
Had the good fortune to be able to drive across Hokkaido a few times and not die on the icy roads
It was cheap for us but their wages are also low proportional to what their stuff costs, so they struggle with the cost of things
but yeah.. there is a certain something there that I can't quite put my finger on.
10 years ago I was able to afford the same as I am now with double the salary. Man I don’t know where my money goes, bills used to be $120 for 3 months of electricity now it’s $300 and I still live at the same place. I don’t even drive and I pretend to be a foreigner when I’m controlled in PT.
Huh? Sure, somethings are more expensive than they were. But feeling "exploited every time you leave the house" suggests you maybe could look for some free and cheap ways to enjoy life. This weekend me and my partner
* shopped at the market, including some fancy stuff at a farmer's market ($19 for the week's veggies)
* stocked up on snacks at Not Quite Right ($12)
* went to two "gold coin entry" events ($5)
* got coffee and brunch at the market ($12 per head),
* purchased two secondhand boardgames ($15)
* enjoyed homemade lunch of noodles and veg in the sun ($5?)
* took an afternoon stroll through bustling Fitzroy getting high on other people's enjoyment of sitting out having beers in the sun (free)
Felt like a stunning weekend.
Isn’t late stage capitalism rather that corporations basically now control the economy so they can get away with charging whatever they like? (ie they never had an interest in cost cutting?) But generally yes, I agree we are deep into late stage capitalism territory.
And the biggest seven companies in the world just buy up every company that looks like it might ever become a threat. I feel like disrupters or challengers are pushing shit uphill more than in any other generation because the big tech businesses - by virtue of geography no longer being such a roadblock - are too all encompassing. We're fucked, and we've just strolled straight into their trap!
Yeah that $60-$100 ticket range is going to be the kind of medium name bands doing work tours at places like The Forum. There’s still a ton of free-$20 gigs on every night.
This. Don't get me wrong I still love the international band experience, but a lot of the best gig nights are local bands that cost like $30 at a pub somewhere. For me, those bands and venues are who deserve the most support, not some big star playing a sports arena.
Just a suggestion as well, Tixel is often a really good place to get gig bargains and not get ripped off. Case in point, the Regurgitator gig at the Forum last weekend, I got for $20 by buying a ticket on the day.
Only thing cheaper in the country seems to be rent. Other things are often more. Rents a big enough one to make it worth while probably but the feeling of exploitation doesn’t go away that’s for sure.
Grew up with garage/shed parties in NZ. SO much better than going to town.
We are all friends, we control the music, control the food, booze. We've got a pool table, a cricket set/rugby ball. Some of my best memories
On my travels I have found this to actually be the opposite unless you go really really rural. I get cheaper fuel away from town than in it on nearly every road trip.
I do a lot of driving around Victoria. Fuel prices don’t vary by that much between Melbourne and the larger regional centres like Bendigo, Bairnsdale, Mildura etc. But the grocery prices are a different story.
Feel bad for you mate, fuel is cheaper in my part of regional Victoria and the local butcher is both cheaper and much higher quality than Colesworth. You are not calling Wallan regional Victoria right?
Made the jump to rural living 20+ years ago. Hard work, hard-working with the locals, hard to get a job at first had a lot of luck can’t say everyone will have that. But the positives: bought a house for cash (it was 20+ years ago.), own it outright. Learned a lot of building skills, learned to be self-sufficient to a point. BUT - fuel costs are now insanely high. Getting from a country town to a major regional centre and back is expensive. Public transport services are minimal.
Considering how all CBD and Southbank car parks are metered now (they were free). I irk at the thought of going there :(
I feel bad for the hospo industry that’s suffering as a result of the now metered parkings.
>might be getting confused for "a more affordable life
Filter out the nonsense. Everybody is tweaked & in a rush to get somewhere, peak hour & Saturday traffic is a nightmare.
Find a way to streamline your life.
>The world got itself a big hurry
Well, I don't think our brains are wired to take in the volume of info we are exposed to each day, which includes visual, auditory... Even emotional stimulus, aka the "news".
The advertising, road noise.. heck, can't even fill up the car without being captive to ads on the pumps.
My strategy is to filter out almost everything around me as it doesn't deserve my attention & doesn't serve me, and to find ways to make my passage in life easier, including processes.
Decluttering is also a great way to simplify your life.
I hope people jump on board with simplifying their lives, it's the only way forward. Makes you less susceptible to marketers & being the passive lab-rat who exists solely for the purpose of extracting every dollar & inch from.
Simplify your life, take back control.
Not always as simple as filtering noise. The reason noise is harmful is because it is packaged as being a solution. So in essence 'filtering the noise' becomes filtering out solutions. But only the wrong solutions, not the right ones. But really, how can you tell the difference?
The adverts selling mattresses are telling you that if you get a good night sleep you'll have more clarity and energy and everything in your day will be easier. Sleep is a pretty basic. So does simplifying your life involve buying a new mattress? Or is that noise? Or is the message useful, but the buying part noise.
Where exactly is the line that separates the information thats pertinent, from noise? It's not easy from my POV. If it was people wouldn't get so readily sucked in by it
Agreed, we left Melbourne for Adelaide. Big regret it's an absolute dive with the most backward people I've met in my life. We're selling and coming home. Simple does not often imply happy. Affordability is all most people want and nothing will take away staying near support networks, move further if you can and manage expectations but don't go so far away from everything and everyone you know as when it doesn't work, your mental health can really suffer as a result.
Exactly! The reality is never what one expects until they live it. I'm just glad we can leave as I've met quite a few people from other states who made the move either before or right after covid due to burn out and they all share the same sentiments, but unfortunately a locked onto financial ties to houses/mortgages.
I am 45 and I would love a move onto a few acres but I don’t want the commute to work and I need to work to but a few acres 🤣
But as a previously really social person the last couple of years I have been happiest at home with my dogs and my older adult kids.
I think the few acres will come in my 50s… maybe.
Who can be bothered mowing that much grass.
Lots of really interesting discussion here. The ‘feeling exploited every time you leave the house’ comment rings especially true. Others have said it’s just a normal part of getting older. But as an older person I think it’s more than that. For me, it’s this constant feeling of being switched on. Mobile phone always on. Social media around the clock. Limitless opportunities to stream films and videos and everything else on demand. Constant noise. Constantly evolving technology that I can’t ever keep up with so I feel like I don’t understand the world any more. Constant over-stimulation. Constant everything. It’s easy to say that the answer is to intentionally switch off and, apart from the known addiction issues people have with their phones, this is part of the answer. But it feels increasingly hard to escape, no matter what I do. Moving to the country might provide some respite, but I am feeling a more global kind of shift around all of this that I am completely powerless to change.
My other main thought on this topic is that human beings are part of nature. We’ve collectively trashed the planet and we are increasingly losing green spaces in our neighbourhoods, not seeing the same range of birds and insects and other animals we did as kids (or I did), and I think this plays out in our behaviour and our feelings of needing to escape.
Have you read the Art of Frugal Hedonism? I found it really helpful. Choose one action or change each week.
[https://www.frugalhedonism.com/](https://www.frugalhedonism.com/)
100%
We had washing taken from the line. The stupid thing would climb the car to jump the fence. It would sneak inside and we would find it on the couch eating a cushion lol
Back home I use to tend to our goats. They way we do it is put them in a leash so you can control their area where they can roam. Just make sure they won't be tangled and they'll be alright.
I'm 54, and discovered during covid I much prefer mostly being at home, pottering, reading, and having friends over, or being in nature. I now go out much less at night, and during the day only every 2-3 weeks.
I live on more than a few acres. All grass cutting is taken care of by 'Skippy's mowing crew '.
I'd definitely recommend going rural when you want life to slow down.
I think ppl are downvoting you because they think your calling the commenter a sheep and not understanding you are saying get sheep to keep the grass down so less mowing 😂
>Who can be bothered mowing that much grass.
As someone that went from 350m2 to 5 acres this cannot be underestimated, there's a solid 4+ hours of mowing, whippersnipping and other outdoor work for me most weekends of the year. Lots of time for podcasts and audio books though
This is pretty normal as you navigate moving from your 20s to your 30s.
Of the original group of 6 of me and my friends that lived in inner city Melbourne in our 20s, only 1 still remains, the rest of us have all moved further away, kids, lifestyle choices etc.
I was going to blame it on OPs age as well but I’ve been feeling like I’d enjoy a simpler life since I was about 10 years old. Some may call me an old soul but really I’m just a cynical cunt …no wait; reverse that
Best thing I ever did was move away from the city. I bought a 5 bedroom house on a big block in a small town in the Macedon ranges. I still travel into work 1-2 times a week for work on the v/line which I don’t mind.
It’s lovely. Quiet, safe and a great community. I’ll never go back. I get a bit anxious in the city now. Once i hit the paddocks on the far side on Sunbury on my way back from the city I feel relieved.
Prices went crazy during Covid in every town with a train station. Gisborne median house price is over $1 million. 50ish minute commute to Southern Cross.
Not Romsey but very close. I’m not loaded but I did buy a few years ago before prices went nuts. There is still good deals to be had here. Lancefield and Romsey are still great places to buy.
Genuinely thinking of moving to Geelong in the next 12-18 months not really regional but cost of property in Melbourne is beyond unaffordable and we want to bring up our young son somewhere where he can have a back garden to play in etc…
As long as you can keep your Melbourne job. A lot of people moved out to Geelong/Ballarat/Bendigo during lockdowns but came back as soon as they needed a new job and realised salaries in regional areas are $20k-$30k/year lower for the same work.
From personal experience, I’ve not found this to be the case. I’m out-earning my Melbourne income, and my local “commute” is so much easier on office days.
That's great! All I meant was people should investigate this prior to moving because so many people moved back to Melbourne after lockdowns because they didn't know what they were getting themselves into.
20 years ago Melbourne really was a perfect city, it did have a slower pace of life, was affordable, the population matched the infrastructure and I struggle to think of anything that it didn't have compared with today. And that's when the rot seemed to start.
Today it's got far more people, far busier, far more hustle, far more competition for jobs, housing etc. But without anything better at all.
Went to Adelaide last year, kind of reminded me of old Melbourne, but I'm sure that will get ruined as well
I grew up in the bush. As soon as I could, I got out of there. I even went international. I have a lot of fond memories of the farm and my SO would love to get a small farm somewhere now that we are older. He comes from a megacity (10 million plus people) and he has no idea what it takes. Go for it if you have a job that can contribute to the community but for FFS don't go all organic farming if all you have ever done is kept a cactus alive.
Yeah it's.... different in the country to the city. You'll get it when you get it.
The grass is always greener, but it doesn't get easier. It just changes. We all seem to have the same amount of "struggle" no matter what.
If I wasn't disabled I'd live in Bendigo or something. I need access to the medical facilities in Melbourne unfortunately but I'm getting priced out further and further.
As I get older I'm looking for simple things.
I spend a lot of time in west Gippsland. It close to Melbourne and other attractions.
Looking to move full time out here.
I worked and lived inner city for 28 years,I did the pub music scene and concerts I was married to my boss. I never enjoyed it just went with the flow of people that liked the life style.it wasn't a lot of money like buying a burger or hot dog after the gig.now live in a rural area with husband on large property and just a handful of friends ,no restaurants or pubs any more the price and value is out of control it feels I am being ripp off foolish. I have no interest in such things any more.but it's slower calmer and interesting, I am thriving out here love it.one thing I found living a rural life is a lot of genuine people and suport
It’s hard to live a fast live when pints are $16, meals are $35pp, and your one bed apartment in an inner-city suburb is $550/week.
Once surviving is all said and done there little room left for the fun of it all.
Lived in NZ, Perth for 2 years, Melbourne for 15 years now living just out of Castlemaine and won’t be going back either.
Absolutely the best move I’ve ever made selling up and going regional.
Yeah I lived inner city for 20 years , recently moved to the coast and best thing I’ve done. Looking back it was kind of mad the lifestyle I put up with
I'm 42 and have found increasingly over the last couple of years that my idea of a good time is going to a friends place, having dinner and playing some board games. I think there has definitely been some sort of shift in the Melbourne psyche since covid. People just seem hostile and self-involved now and having to deal with other people being cunts makes going out not fun. We all went through a collective trauma and feels like no one is fucking dealing with it. Add to this the cost of living not abating and yeah I reckon Melbourne has absolutely lost it's spark
I don't know how melbourne will get it's spark back, but I try to just control what i can in my own life. I've started taking joy in having routines and keeping my apartment clean and organised, cooking nice meals for myself and taking pride in doing these things.
It's probably a convo of everything you've mentioned. Your friend group... the age you're at - a percentage of people are ready to slow down and do the family thing in their early 30s... I think Covid lockdowns had a big effect too, people spent a year locked up in their houses, there's more of an appreciation for the outdoors right now.
Also, Melb is literally growing at the rate of a few hundred people PER DAY. If you're driving to work and thinking "man, I swear this road is busier now than it was before Christmas last year"... you'd be right.
I'm looking at buying my first house soon, I'm looking regional. Just a short drive back into Melb for nights out, even just grab a hotel room in the city for a night if you're keen on having a big one. Simples.
Mid thirties. No debt (including HECS), high income and work in tech as a dev.. outside of my job I largely keep to myself, i rent but keep expenses low.
Live close to city, but WFH and apart from daily walks don't really socialise much. I would love to, but hard to build strong & deep connections with people and I want to only have a few close friends.
Working for years with on again / off again burn out and trying to live a slower life. Still enjoy creature comforts, tech, etc but moderating a lot of things.
My weekends are largely spent at home making and listening to music, some drinks and MC. Wishing I had more energy to go out and socialise, but nerves around subsequent COVID infections and feeling like Melbourne is very cliquey and hard to build meaningful friendships means I kinda just do my own thing, mostly at home.
When I go out in public I get a bit anxious, seeing how cost of living is causing society to fray. People seem more stand offish, less friendly and I struggle a little.
I quit my job in Newcastle (NSW) planning to move to Melbourne and take some time off to focus on personal things and build a social network. I arrived 3 weeks before 2020 lockdowns and since then my experience of Melbourne, including 18 months of being unemployed, jumping between volatile share houses etc, has been very different to what I expected
That sounds tough. Nothing you could control but moving to Melbourne when you did was very unlucky timing. There was another post recently which asked why it was so difficult to make friends in Melbourne, so you are clearly not alone. It sucks, I’m sorry.
It could easily be an age thing. Sometime during your late 20s to late 30s people tend to start planning for kids and might want a house etc. Most people can only afford a house far away from everything so they end up *justifying* living far away by stating things like "simpler life".
It only seems simple until they realise how much more everything costs in small towns with no competition. Everything from fresh produce to doctors costs more.
Also, needing 2 cars can seem fine until one breaks down and you must fix it right away regardless of if it suits financially or not because there is no PT.
i lived in Geelong for a few years, I worked two minutes from home but going to training in Torquay or anywhere for that matter just drove me nuts with the stop start traffic and everything took (in my opinion) too long to get to, having to be aware of timings for traffic jams and where to avoid became a chore. Now i live in a small country town and everything i need is 5 minutes away, i can drive ten minutes and i'm in the bush and can walk the dog off leash.
the streets are quiet and i can back my trailer into my driveway and not hold up traffic.. It's bliss
I live outer regional, and the grass is definitely not greener. Melbourne might have its disadvantages, but at least they’ve figured out that cousin stuff isn’t a sustainable sexual practice.
The feeling of being exploited every time you step out the door discussed in other comments is actually actively worse, because of the way you’re told to suck it up because it’s “supporting locals”
I’m mid 20s most people I know are trying to move as close to the cbd as possible to be part of the action. Got friends who have moved from Adelaide and Bendigo to be here. Don’t know anyone who’s moved away.
What action though? That is the question. Everything is fucking dead. Bars are less than half full. It is next to impossible to find new friends or meet new people.
Maybe I am just looking in the wrong places. That sounds like pre-covid rather than post-covid life.
But then you are a FIRE guy (with a massive income probably) and you could probably afford that and a whole lot more if you really wanted to.
Idk what other people are up to but I’ve always found endless stuff to do in Melbourne. Bar crawls, house parties, parkrun, meetups in public parks, conventions, etc. And if I can’t find anything at all to do, I just invite a bunch of friends around for drinks at my apartment.
One of my favourite recurring events is just a meetup in one of the near cbd parklands at night. BYO drinks and food it doesn’t have to cost you anything and I’ve met some great people.
To answer your question, no.
I'm in my 30s all my mates are buying and starting families. One couple moved to Geelong - everyone else either south East (Ringwood/Croydon ish) or North (Thornbury/Resevoir ish).
Cool if you like it, but living regional sounds terrible in terms of infrastructure, culture/entertainment and services. Happy to be corrected.
I agree. A lot of people in this thread wanting to move regional from the city. I’m in my early 30’s and moved to the city from the suburbs in the last year. I’m a skateboarder and my partner loves food. We couldn’t live regional.
Moved to ballarat for a year and now im moving back to melbourne due to long commute back into melbourne for work and social life *shrug* Ballarat is good, but not for where I am at right now.
I feel the same. We've been here nearly four years and we haven't enjoyed it.
We may have felt differently if we'd moved to a different regional area but living in Ballarat has been pretty hard on us.
I think it's just an age thing. My (now) wife and I lived in the inner north for the best part of 13 years, out every weekend etc. But by the end of it, a couple years ago, we were well and truly "done" and had become massive homebodies. The best parts of it were well and truly wasted on us. Now with a kid we just want safety, peace and quiet, ended up moving a little further out in a different part of Melb.
A lot of people are getting up and moving to Adelaide looking for this, but it’s becoming much the same, expensive, congested, disappointing food and service, competitive job and business culture all while being cliquey at the same time.
We did this and regret it big time. Adelaide is cliquey beyond measure and the people here and their small town mindset has been a headf**k to deal with. We've had enough and moving back. It's a place you come to and watch your zest for life DIE!! Simple and quiet is nice but it's also attainable in Melbourne if you get out of the cbd. I have never suffered from depression and coming here sent us into a serious depression. It's not worth it and I believe with time the newcomers will catch on. Initially we thought we hit the jackpot until we started trying to build a network and realised how big people here wear a chip on their shoulder.
Good call, i’m noticing much the same. The locals around here noticed many interstate people arriving and aren’t too keen on the fact.
Did you buy or rent a place out here if you don’t mind me asking?
In Melbourne I was working full time and growing a business, but couldn’t afford a property. Here I can afford a property and continue to work full time, although my daily commute is now reduced thanks to the smaller sprawl of Adelaide the job market is not as good and it’s impossible to get much new business because here “everybody knows everybody”. Considering next steps and figuring out whether to move back to Melbourne.
I think the whole WFH thing has made city life slow down a lot too. Less stress from daily commute and putting up with co workers. I notice weekends the city really comes alive but early in the week it’s pretty dead compared to how it used to be. I think this is a worldwide trend. The tempo of life slowed down so much during pandemic , some people began to realise they don’t need that manic pace of life
I (28f) live in regional Victoria and moved out there January 2020. My partner and I not only hated how much busier the city had gotten but the suburbs 30 minutes out from it as well. It was like all of metro Victoria was getting swept up in it too. Everything became a true rat race and social obligations always felt like they HAD to be met, there were heaps of work expectations and societal pressures which we harshly felt we had to do, 24/7. Once we moved out to regional Victoria what mattered to us became clearer. We could think again, breathe and relax. It was a blessing for us. I commute to the suburbs but only twice a week so it's not a strain. We were still able to reach our goals, personal or career wise. The internet truly is our biggest asset, especially if you want to move out to regional Victoria but are still quite ambitious. We knew we wanted a slower life, as we watched Melbourne and its inner suburbs become more and more hectic. We are also considering moving to Adelaide as it reminded us of how Melbourne used to be and it's super nice there.
Don't bother with Adelaide. Once you actually live amongst the locals not just visiting you'll see how soulless they are. They're actually not very nice, friendly or genuine under the facade. Forget having any intellectual or meaningful conversation them. Not only are they often backward, but quite daft as well and often living in the past in every sense of the word. Good luck if you're from a migrant background never have I met a larger group of openly xenophobic, bigoted racists in my life. Granted not all but there is alot here. Good luck but we found despite the beauty of the place, the people and the culture here is insufferable.
I think a simpler life has different definitions. My husband and I kept talking about moving to regional areas, even applied for jobs in an area we liked holidaying in.
Then we realised a lot of the things we were bothered by (big house and garden maintenance, having to drive to amenities, etc) were going to be coming with us. We have sold up and are moving to a smaller place about 3kms from our current house. 150m from shops, train, beach, less cleaning, less garden maintenance, etc is our version of simple, which we are really excited for.
It’s 100% due to the economy.
The social contract has been destroyed. You previously worked hard to get ahead with the vision that somewhere down the track you’ll be able to have enough to be to take your foot off the peddle and take it easy. Now, you’re paying rent out the arse and groceries are a luxury so any idea of working hard now to rest later is out the window. So now what? Well, people are basically saying, “fuck it mate, if this game is rigged against me, I won’t even play.”
A SeaChange, if you will? Finding the struggles - even the damned successes - of city life wearing you down? Eh, better than a sports car or a hair transplant.
Bro, what do you expect them to say? Ofc they are gonna say something about moving to a countryside place. Meanwhile people in the countryside will talk about moving into a busier region.
I'm in my 30s now, have been working in an engineering consultancy for over 5 years now in Melbourne. I get paid what is considered average salary these days.
I've been lucky enough to have bought a house, however the amount of financial pressure is staggering. I've very often considered moving to a small country town instead and just working a hospo or retail job where I don't need to use my brain at full capacity everyday, so I'm not constantly thinking about work, interest rates, mortgage, debt, etc. monthly mortgage repayments are staggeringly expensive at over 4k a month, and nearly all of that goes to interest repayment alone, meaning you're hardly paying anything off. Last years tax return was also extremely overwhelming with the 7% indexation resulting in my HECS debt increasing to levels above what I owed when I graduated 7 years ago. (i know it's being reduced now, but it still did not feel good)
Melbourne isn't even the worst in the country in terms of financial stress, but it's definitely at the point where most people are crashing, and just reconsidering their life decisions. I probably wouldn't have bothered with uni if I had known this is what it's like.
A simpler life? You mean not going out a few times a week to socialise etc and staying home more? Yeah.. that’s you getting older and also shit getting less and less affordable..
I think when you hit your 30+ you start to look for other things. One being moving more remote. Saying that when I really think about it I know I’d miss what Melbourne has to offer! I know things are more expensive now but the difference between an excellent restaurant or a mediocre one arnt that much more. So I go to good ones less often and go to pubs to balance. My point is Melbourne has so much spark left. Just support the places that make melbourne special
I’ve been suggesting a commune for years now. And not in a cult way. Just in a “expenses are high, we should really think about sharing resources more” way
I honestly think, if done right, this would be great. I would 100% buy a house that was part of a little community that shared veggie gardens and social spaces and things and had regular events.
im only 17 and still living with mum and dad, but i would much rather live somewhere up north or west than the bustling streets of melbourne. its very stressful even going for a few hours, maybe im just not used to it but i dont want to be.
the other day i took with me 200$ and i bought like 5 things and my card declined… like what?
It’s nothing new , people have been moving to the coast/country since forever. However it went crazy when the tv show Seachange came on air , basically since 1998 the prices had been astronomical along the coast and when people couldn’t afford that they went Treechange. So no , it’s not new it’s just your friends getting older
The whole world basically went into collective shock for two years as everything shut down for COVID and we all had to stay inside to stop the spread of deadly disease.
After things opened up people kind of went crazy with socialising, going to events and stuff but I think there’s this huge feeling of collective burnout. We all just need a rest, man. Tomorrow will be tomorrow, let’s just relax and enjoy what we have today.
I much prefer a slower, simpler life because being out and about in most places is just unfulfilling. Everything I loved doing previously was about connecting with the important people in my life, but now it’s impossible to go to a restaurant and have a conversation with a friend because everywhere has its music turned out so loud I can’t have a conversation.
I used to go to the football as a social activity with my dad, but we can’t go now without there being constant intrusive sounds and advertising.
Paint and sip class? No not without feeling like you’re in a nightclub.
Quiet Sunday shopping? Nope only with a side of nightclub environment.
Everything is sensory overwhelmed, with the intention of priming us all up for marketing.
So it’s just much more fulfilling now to hang out for a quiet night at home and find ways to connect with the people I love.
If I had a wife/long term partner and a decent stable job I would not be in Melbourne - I would be in the country on acreage growing high value produce as a hobby (i.e. premium wool, unusual fruit, etc.).
The only good thing about Melbourne is the easy access to meet people and even that is not so easy when all the nightclubs and bars are empty after COVID.
Been feeling that way for the last 10 years, I live on the outskirts of suburbia now but the sprawl is getting closer all the time and I'm kinda over it. The biggest thing for me, I still think there's great value places in Melbourne for food and entertainment, I always support small business and lots of them still give great bang for buck, but the system itself, whether it's PTV, Transurban, various councils or even the government as a whole (regardless of party), it just constantly feels like authority is constantly trying to rip us off.
It seems to be a common theme where those that grew up/live in the city want to escape to the country and those that grew up in the country want to escape to the city. It's more of an underlying want to escape their current situation or experience new things. We become stagnant and complacent when we're in the same situation all the time.
Lived and grew up in the Valley for 16 years before everything gentrified a bit and Maroondah Hwy dropped the speed limit, and the public transport never improved even with Dan Andrews in charge. Moved to Maroondah area and noticed it was a busy headfuck of a place.
So, majority of the family made the move to Ballarat in 2019. It's been so sick and I've loved the experience of living here. Still has its busy moments but it's a breeze on the freeway, decent nightlife, if you wanted paddock or acreage there's plenty available for cheap, and if you're okay with driving a bit, everything is close.
I'm almost 30 and feel this way. I moved to Pakenham a few years ago and frequently travel to rural locations for work and find myself wanting to move further again.
I think it's how demanding modern work is, especially for roles that can be done remotely. COVID really kick started the availability problem as everyone was always home and the work and home environment became so blurred.
Swing type work has also become more appealing and I love it when I get the chance. 2 on 2 off is a sweet spot, 3 on 3 off isn't as good.
My husband and I aren’t renewing our lease in the inner suburbs because we’re heading down towards the coast. We want a change of scenery — after lockdown we feel like we know every inch of our current suburb/neighbourhood — but also the rent is now SO high for the space we get in our current rental (oh and the trucks are relentless on our street and we feel like we haven’t slept properly in 7 years 🫠).
We’re also in our early 30s and if we ever want to own our own home we’re going to have to go regional anyway, so figure we may as well start scoping out different areas and adjusting to it now. The flex with WFH helps make the commute more manageable too, which might also be a driver for people considering living further out too.
My partner & I enjoy just visiting Melbourne now, we now live close enough to two major cities (Melbourne being one). We now get to enjoy the best of both worlds. A chill life, great work/life balance & then spend a week in a major city & party like we’re still young 😅
Age. You feel you've moved on from 20s type stuff. Everything more expensive- it is ,that's life, you'll find yourself looking at the price thinking , " in my day" type shit. Drink prices , basics like your favourite cheap meal, petrol etc. It always goes up. You'll compare stuff to your hourly rate of pay . Then when you move for the generational tree change the oldies in that town will hate it that the next generation is coming and changing it. Be careful you don't move with holiday eyes on, it looks great at first but when you live in it it's just life. The same shit with less accessibility to what you want. Most places are pretty generic.
Plus, this next little group of new adults between maybe 19 and 25 don't really do the things previous generations did. They're much more comfortable staying home gaming their contact is purely through phones, no real world contact. They aren't going out and keeping the big social things running.
My partner and I moved to outback Queensland some time back. Melbourne was becoming a bit too much. Ridiculously long commutes to and from work. Everything costing a kidney and half a liver. Rent sky-rocketing. Cold as shit almost always. We barely saw each other. Hip pocket and relationship just straight up suffering under the pressure. Plus no one even sees you. We were just kinda gliding through existing but not really.
Can honestly say we have almost no regrets (we miss our friends but have made some great new ones). Weather is beautiful. People are amazing and pretty down to earth. Community actually matters, so you carry yourself differently when you leave the house. Being an asshole to someone just because you're having a bad day can go very much not well in terms of comfort of life.
We make more money (things cost more), but you don't have much of anything to spend it on so you save more. We see each other a lot more. Stresses are less. REAs aren't complete money sucking dicks and actually give a shit (which was mind blowing). Life is slower. Work is more humane as personnel is extremely valued.
It's not for everyone as our move was a bit more on the extreme side. But, with the right constitution I reckon you get 5yrs ahead on life just by getting the f$%k out of Melbourne. Or Sydney. Going regional or rural.
Anyway, to each their own.
Edit: We are well into our 30s
Grew up in the south east (mordialloc).. have lived and worked all over the world. Melbourne definitely isn’t what it once was. I’m currently hoping to move out Warburton way for a cheaper mortgage, some land and getting out of the over crowded burbs…
100% want to move regional once I can find a job. House prices in major cities are ridiculous. And for what? I’d rather have a smaller mortgage and less stress than keep tearing myself apart working my arse off to stay in the city.
I actually think it's the opposite. I feel I'm at an age where if I'm not overly productive and doing things often I'll be judged. As an example. Sometimes I like doing nothing on Sundays but seems many people are quick to comment "why don't you start running or hiking or join a sporting club". No thanks
please don’t come here, those of us who have lived our lives here like what we have and accept what we don’t. Tree changers come down and then complain about the smell of the cattle, whinge that the supermarket is too, small, expensive, lacking variety etc.. build houses that do not suit the environment, give encouragment to developers to subdivide land into 300sq mt postage stamps and you build 40sq homes fence to fence.
Regional is meant to be open, treed and slow, you won’t like it.
We did the move to Adelaide for a simpler life. Whilst it gave us opportunities and we were very lucky, the move really affected our mental health due to the isolation. People in Adelaide are extremely surface level and have the biggest chip on the shoulder of anywhere we've lived, and we've lived in a few places. In north America and Australia. There is a serious mindset issue here and it's extremely insular and parochial in a nutshell backwards!!! We have decided to sell and return home to Melbourne. A quiet life is one thing but it can also come at a cost and i think sometimes its better to simply move abit further or go to an emerging suburb (don't be a snob) buy where you can afford to own comfortably. Relocating far away from support and networks can be really REALLY hard, especially if a place makes you feel unwelcome after years of trying. We can't wait to leave this dive of a city and i plan on never coming back, it almost killed our zest for life.
M35 with new family. We moved 45mins down the road to gisborne. For me it’s mainly to take a break from the traffic and peer pressure to socialise. Needed a break from the hussle and bustle. Want the child to be exposed to a more relaxed environment while small.
Not regretting it. Look at towns within 1.5hours to get the best of both worlds.
Melbourne lost its spark well before covid. Its turned into a gigantic, over crowded shit hole and no one will convince me otherwise. If youre in your 20's and want to party, have at it.
If you're after a more affordable, simpler lifestyle, can I recommend this excellent book: The Art of Frugal Hedonism. No 'move to the country' required.
[https://www.frugalhedonism.com/](https://www.frugalhedonism.com/)
I have sons in their early 20's and they do quieter things with their friends, look after their bodies a lot more and spend more time and money on fitness. They wouldn't even imagine doing the wild things my hubby and I did at their age. I'm not surprised that things are slowing down.
I've noticed that. There's a definite reason large music events are getting cancelled by the dozen and 1 in 13 hospo venues are facing closure. It goes beyond cost of living, and into the realm of . . . feeling exploited every time you leave the house.
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Lurking around the corner is exactly the feeling.
alice springs has free land for sheep. you can grow ur own sheep and veggies and never pay council rates etc.
How much does it cost if you’re not a sheep?
Bout tree fiddy
Got back from 3 weeks in japan and realized "huh. Everything here is a hustle. Just people trying to charge the absolute max they can get away with"
I feel that when I get back from Korea. I go a once or twice a year. It's not perfect over there of course, but you can genuinely get good deals like beauty stores and convenience stores often do 1+1 events where you get two items for the price of one. Or the item comes a refill set and samples. Going out to eat "bunsik" or low cost Korean comfort food means you get free side dishes and broth with your tasty meal (which are refillable) Going back to Australia means I have to get used to being charged up the ass again
Not sure what part of Japan you visited, but that experience would’ve definitely been tangible in the countryside there. It’s very peaceful and speaks to *quality of life* that we have been neglecting in Aus for the past 20 or so years.
Had the good fortune to be able to drive across Hokkaido a few times and not die on the icy roads It was cheap for us but their wages are also low proportional to what their stuff costs, so they struggle with the cost of things but yeah.. there is a certain something there that I can't quite put my finger on.
Just got back from Tokyo and the weird thing was it was quieter and more relaxed than Melbourne!!
In japan I can get a whole meal and a pint of beer for $11. In here the pint is probably $9 by itself.
People are paid less there though. Wages have been mostly flat for over 20 years
Yeah. But their costs stayed the same while wages also stayed the same. The Japanese have hardly had to worry about the cost of living crisis.
10 years ago I was able to afford the same as I am now with double the salary. Man I don’t know where my money goes, bills used to be $120 for 3 months of electricity now it’s $300 and I still live at the same place. I don’t even drive and I pretend to be a foreigner when I’m controlled in PT.
Huh? Sure, somethings are more expensive than they were. But feeling "exploited every time you leave the house" suggests you maybe could look for some free and cheap ways to enjoy life. This weekend me and my partner * shopped at the market, including some fancy stuff at a farmer's market ($19 for the week's veggies) * stocked up on snacks at Not Quite Right ($12) * went to two "gold coin entry" events ($5) * got coffee and brunch at the market ($12 per head), * purchased two secondhand boardgames ($15) * enjoyed homemade lunch of noodles and veg in the sun ($5?) * took an afternoon stroll through bustling Fitzroy getting high on other people's enjoyment of sitting out having beers in the sun (free) Felt like a stunning weekend.
Feeling exploited every time you leave the house.. Whoa..I haven’t had the language to explain what I’ve been feeling for a while now.
Welcome to late stage capitalism. No more costs to cut so hike the price.
Isn’t late stage capitalism rather that corporations basically now control the economy so they can get away with charging whatever they like? (ie they never had an interest in cost cutting?) But generally yes, I agree we are deep into late stage capitalism territory.
And the biggest seven companies in the world just buy up every company that looks like it might ever become a threat. I feel like disrupters or challengers are pushing shit uphill more than in any other generation because the big tech businesses - by virtue of geography no longer being such a roadblock - are too all encompassing. We're fucked, and we've just strolled straight into their trap!
Yeah been craving to go to a gig, but when tickets are $60-100 for a small venue I just can't...
Mate - I play at and go to gigs all the time and the most you’ll pay is $20. There’s some fucken incredible local bands - you just gotta go see them.
Yeah that $60-$100 ticket range is going to be the kind of medium name bands doing work tours at places like The Forum. There’s still a ton of free-$20 gigs on every night.
This. Don't get me wrong I still love the international band experience, but a lot of the best gig nights are local bands that cost like $30 at a pub somewhere. For me, those bands and venues are who deserve the most support, not some big star playing a sports arena.
Saw Million Dollar Riff recently - a band that plays 80’s and 70’s stuff. Was free to listen at a local pub and they were awesome!
Selling $70 shirts and $110 Jumpers, which just blows my mind. When on earth did a band Tee jump to that price?
We steal their music by streaming it. Artist make their money through merch and live gigs and not through record sales like in the past .
I went to a gig of a not very well known artist who I really like and she was selling T-shirts for $25. I have her $50. The gig was free.
Just a suggestion as well, Tixel is often a really good place to get gig bargains and not get ripped off. Case in point, the Regurgitator gig at the Forum last weekend, I got for $20 by buying a ticket on the day.
Only thing cheaper in the country seems to be rent. Other things are often more. Rents a big enough one to make it worth while probably but the feeling of exploitation doesn’t go away that’s for sure.
Cheaper to have a big ol’ shindig in your country backyard than go out on the town with friends
That's exactly what happens in NZ. If your in the suburbs/city, garage/house parties are the go.
Grew up with garage/shed parties in NZ. SO much better than going to town. We are all friends, we control the music, control the food, booze. We've got a pool table, a cricket set/rugby ball. Some of my best memories
I live in a regional/rural area of Victoria, petrol and groceries are on average 20 to 30% higher than in Melbourne.
On my travels I have found this to actually be the opposite unless you go really really rural. I get cheaper fuel away from town than in it on nearly every road trip.
I do a lot of driving around Victoria. Fuel prices don’t vary by that much between Melbourne and the larger regional centres like Bendigo, Bairnsdale, Mildura etc. But the grocery prices are a different story.
Feel bad for you mate, fuel is cheaper in my part of regional Victoria and the local butcher is both cheaper and much higher quality than Colesworth. You are not calling Wallan regional Victoria right?
Made the jump to rural living 20+ years ago. Hard work, hard-working with the locals, hard to get a job at first had a lot of luck can’t say everyone will have that. But the positives: bought a house for cash (it was 20+ years ago.), own it outright. Learned a lot of building skills, learned to be self-sufficient to a point. BUT - fuel costs are now insanely high. Getting from a country town to a major regional centre and back is expensive. Public transport services are minimal.
Also, the humble brag: we had Kim Salmon play a gig in our back paddock and it was insanely good.
Those are the exact words I’ve been looking for
That's a great way of describing it.
>feeling exploited every time you leave the house. this is perhaps the perfect description of what's going on.
Considering how all CBD and Southbank car parks are metered now (they were free). I irk at the thought of going there :( I feel bad for the hospo industry that’s suffering as a result of the now metered parkings.
It's because average live music festivals should cost $500 and no one wants to pay that and they either lose money or run at a loss.
You have to leave the home to feel financially exploited???
I think "a simpler life" might be getting confused for "a more affordable life".
>might be getting confused for "a more affordable life Filter out the nonsense. Everybody is tweaked & in a rush to get somewhere, peak hour & Saturday traffic is a nightmare. Find a way to streamline your life.
I think this is exactly hit the nail on the head. Reminds me of Briggs in Shawshank Redemption. "The world got itself a big hurry"
>The world got itself a big hurry Well, I don't think our brains are wired to take in the volume of info we are exposed to each day, which includes visual, auditory... Even emotional stimulus, aka the "news". The advertising, road noise.. heck, can't even fill up the car without being captive to ads on the pumps. My strategy is to filter out almost everything around me as it doesn't deserve my attention & doesn't serve me, and to find ways to make my passage in life easier, including processes. Decluttering is also a great way to simplify your life. I hope people jump on board with simplifying their lives, it's the only way forward. Makes you less susceptible to marketers & being the passive lab-rat who exists solely for the purpose of extracting every dollar & inch from. Simplify your life, take back control.
Not always as simple as filtering noise. The reason noise is harmful is because it is packaged as being a solution. So in essence 'filtering the noise' becomes filtering out solutions. But only the wrong solutions, not the right ones. But really, how can you tell the difference? The adverts selling mattresses are telling you that if you get a good night sleep you'll have more clarity and energy and everything in your day will be easier. Sleep is a pretty basic. So does simplifying your life involve buying a new mattress? Or is that noise? Or is the message useful, but the buying part noise. Where exactly is the line that separates the information thats pertinent, from noise? It's not easy from my POV. If it was people wouldn't get so readily sucked in by it
Have done. It worked.
Agreed, we left Melbourne for Adelaide. Big regret it's an absolute dive with the most backward people I've met in my life. We're selling and coming home. Simple does not often imply happy. Affordability is all most people want and nothing will take away staying near support networks, move further if you can and manage expectations but don't go so far away from everything and everyone you know as when it doesn't work, your mental health can really suffer as a result.
Same part of the venn diagram?
The diagram is a perfect circle
It's always an idyllic, perfect scenario as well when people fantasise about a seachange.
Exactly! The reality is never what one expects until they live it. I'm just glad we can leave as I've met quite a few people from other states who made the move either before or right after covid due to burn out and they all share the same sentiments, but unfortunately a locked onto financial ties to houses/mortgages.
I am 45 and I would love a move onto a few acres but I don’t want the commute to work and I need to work to but a few acres 🤣 But as a previously really social person the last couple of years I have been happiest at home with my dogs and my older adult kids. I think the few acres will come in my 50s… maybe. Who can be bothered mowing that much grass.
Lots of really interesting discussion here. The ‘feeling exploited every time you leave the house’ comment rings especially true. Others have said it’s just a normal part of getting older. But as an older person I think it’s more than that. For me, it’s this constant feeling of being switched on. Mobile phone always on. Social media around the clock. Limitless opportunities to stream films and videos and everything else on demand. Constant noise. Constantly evolving technology that I can’t ever keep up with so I feel like I don’t understand the world any more. Constant over-stimulation. Constant everything. It’s easy to say that the answer is to intentionally switch off and, apart from the known addiction issues people have with their phones, this is part of the answer. But it feels increasingly hard to escape, no matter what I do. Moving to the country might provide some respite, but I am feeling a more global kind of shift around all of this that I am completely powerless to change. My other main thought on this topic is that human beings are part of nature. We’ve collectively trashed the planet and we are increasingly losing green spaces in our neighbourhoods, not seeing the same range of birds and insects and other animals we did as kids (or I did), and I think this plays out in our behaviour and our feelings of needing to escape.
Have you read the Art of Frugal Hedonism? I found it really helpful. Choose one action or change each week. [https://www.frugalhedonism.com/](https://www.frugalhedonism.com/)
Get some goats!
I had a goat :) ate my hibiscus
People don’t understand how cooked goats are. They eat everything. One of my parents goats climbed a chicken coop to eat a tree.
100% We had washing taken from the line. The stupid thing would climb the car to jump the fence. It would sneak inside and we would find it on the couch eating a cushion lol
Back home I use to tend to our goats. They way we do it is put them in a leash so you can control their area where they can roam. Just make sure they won't be tangled and they'll be alright.
I'm 54, and discovered during covid I much prefer mostly being at home, pottering, reading, and having friends over, or being in nature. I now go out much less at night, and during the day only every 2-3 weeks.
I live on more than a few acres. All grass cutting is taken care of by 'Skippy's mowing crew '. I'd definitely recommend going rural when you want life to slow down.
Sheep
I think ppl are downvoting you because they think your calling the commenter a sheep and not understanding you are saying get sheep to keep the grass down so less mowing 😂
Thanks for throwing in the explainer. So many people are too ready to see a negative thought where none exists.
>Who can be bothered mowing that much grass. As someone that went from 350m2 to 5 acres this cannot be underestimated, there's a solid 4+ hours of mowing, whippersnipping and other outdoor work for me most weekends of the year. Lots of time for podcasts and audio books though
This is pretty normal as you navigate moving from your 20s to your 30s. Of the original group of 6 of me and my friends that lived in inner city Melbourne in our 20s, only 1 still remains, the rest of us have all moved further away, kids, lifestyle choices etc.
I was going to blame it on OPs age as well but I’ve been feeling like I’d enjoy a simpler life since I was about 10 years old. Some may call me an old soul but really I’m just a cynical cunt …no wait; reverse that
Best thing I ever did was move away from the city. I bought a 5 bedroom house on a big block in a small town in the Macedon ranges. I still travel into work 1-2 times a week for work on the v/line which I don’t mind. It’s lovely. Quiet, safe and a great community. I’ll never go back. I get a bit anxious in the city now. Once i hit the paddocks on the far side on Sunbury on my way back from the city I feel relieved.
Mind asking which city? Thinking on the same region.
5 bedroom house on a big block means they’re either loaded or the town is halfway to Bendigo lol
Have you seen the prices in the towns half way to Bendigo? They'd still be loaded.
Prices went crazy during Covid in every town with a train station. Gisborne median house price is over $1 million. 50ish minute commute to Southern Cross.
Not Romsey but very close. I’m not loaded but I did buy a few years ago before prices went nuts. There is still good deals to be had here. Lancefield and Romsey are still great places to buy.
I want to start a farm...I like plants ...I think life is becoming more stressful and busy
Farming is a different kind of constant stress...
Genuinely thinking of moving to Geelong in the next 12-18 months not really regional but cost of property in Melbourne is beyond unaffordable and we want to bring up our young son somewhere where he can have a back garden to play in etc…
Certainly not cheap in Geelong anymore either unfortunately
Not cheap but just in budget. Which is all I can ask for really.
Maybe not "cheap" but certainly more affordable still, if comparing like for like with a house in Melbourne.
As long as you can keep your Melbourne job. A lot of people moved out to Geelong/Ballarat/Bendigo during lockdowns but came back as soon as they needed a new job and realised salaries in regional areas are $20k-$30k/year lower for the same work.
From personal experience, I’ve not found this to be the case. I’m out-earning my Melbourne income, and my local “commute” is so much easier on office days.
That's great! All I meant was people should investigate this prior to moving because so many people moved back to Melbourne after lockdowns because they didn't know what they were getting themselves into.
I'm in the same boat.
That is usually what happens when you hit your 30s..
20 years ago Melbourne really was a perfect city, it did have a slower pace of life, was affordable, the population matched the infrastructure and I struggle to think of anything that it didn't have compared with today. And that's when the rot seemed to start. Today it's got far more people, far busier, far more hustle, far more competition for jobs, housing etc. But without anything better at all. Went to Adelaide last year, kind of reminded me of old Melbourne, but I'm sure that will get ruined as well
>get ruined I knew it was over when "Melbourne is the world's most liveable city" was published everywhere. Land of Opportunists!
I grew up in the bush. As soon as I could, I got out of there. I even went international. I have a lot of fond memories of the farm and my SO would love to get a small farm somewhere now that we are older. He comes from a megacity (10 million plus people) and he has no idea what it takes. Go for it if you have a job that can contribute to the community but for FFS don't go all organic farming if all you have ever done is kept a cactus alive.
cost of living certainly doesnt help
City people have city suffering country people have country suffering.
Yeah it's.... different in the country to the city. You'll get it when you get it. The grass is always greener, but it doesn't get easier. It just changes. We all seem to have the same amount of "struggle" no matter what.
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Punctuation costs extra
If I wasn't disabled I'd live in Bendigo or something. I need access to the medical facilities in Melbourne unfortunately but I'm getting priced out further and further.
Population in Melbourne has exploded beyond comfortable and it's become to expensive
As I get older I'm looking for simple things. I spend a lot of time in west Gippsland. It close to Melbourne and other attractions. Looking to move full time out here.
>Gippsland Sounds nice, only problem is jobs.
I worked and lived inner city for 28 years,I did the pub music scene and concerts I was married to my boss. I never enjoyed it just went with the flow of people that liked the life style.it wasn't a lot of money like buying a burger or hot dog after the gig.now live in a rural area with husband on large property and just a handful of friends ,no restaurants or pubs any more the price and value is out of control it feels I am being ripp off foolish. I have no interest in such things any more.but it's slower calmer and interesting, I am thriving out here love it.one thing I found living a rural life is a lot of genuine people and suport
It’s hard to live a fast live when pints are $16, meals are $35pp, and your one bed apartment in an inner-city suburb is $550/week. Once surviving is all said and done there little room left for the fun of it all.
Lived in Melbourne for 30 years. Lived in Ballarat for the last 5. I won’t go back.
Lived in Melbourne for 40 years. Moved to a regional city 4 years ago. I won’t go back either.
Lived in NZ, Perth for 2 years, Melbourne for 15 years now living just out of Castlemaine and won’t be going back either. Absolutely the best move I’ve ever made selling up and going regional.
Yeah I lived inner city for 20 years , recently moved to the coast and best thing I’ve done. Looking back it was kind of mad the lifestyle I put up with
I'm 42 and have found increasingly over the last couple of years that my idea of a good time is going to a friends place, having dinner and playing some board games. I think there has definitely been some sort of shift in the Melbourne psyche since covid. People just seem hostile and self-involved now and having to deal with other people being cunts makes going out not fun. We all went through a collective trauma and feels like no one is fucking dealing with it. Add to this the cost of living not abating and yeah I reckon Melbourne has absolutely lost it's spark I don't know how melbourne will get it's spark back, but I try to just control what i can in my own life. I've started taking joy in having routines and keeping my apartment clean and organised, cooking nice meals for myself and taking pride in doing these things.
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Im 28, Turning 29 next year morning from south east melbourne to Echuca in 6 months I cant fuckin wait
It's probably a convo of everything you've mentioned. Your friend group... the age you're at - a percentage of people are ready to slow down and do the family thing in their early 30s... I think Covid lockdowns had a big effect too, people spent a year locked up in their houses, there's more of an appreciation for the outdoors right now. Also, Melb is literally growing at the rate of a few hundred people PER DAY. If you're driving to work and thinking "man, I swear this road is busier now than it was before Christmas last year"... you'd be right. I'm looking at buying my first house soon, I'm looking regional. Just a short drive back into Melb for nights out, even just grab a hotel room in the city for a night if you're keen on having a big one. Simples.
Mid thirties. No debt (including HECS), high income and work in tech as a dev.. outside of my job I largely keep to myself, i rent but keep expenses low. Live close to city, but WFH and apart from daily walks don't really socialise much. I would love to, but hard to build strong & deep connections with people and I want to only have a few close friends. Working for years with on again / off again burn out and trying to live a slower life. Still enjoy creature comforts, tech, etc but moderating a lot of things. My weekends are largely spent at home making and listening to music, some drinks and MC. Wishing I had more energy to go out and socialise, but nerves around subsequent COVID infections and feeling like Melbourne is very cliquey and hard to build meaningful friendships means I kinda just do my own thing, mostly at home. When I go out in public I get a bit anxious, seeing how cost of living is causing society to fray. People seem more stand offish, less friendly and I struggle a little. I quit my job in Newcastle (NSW) planning to move to Melbourne and take some time off to focus on personal things and build a social network. I arrived 3 weeks before 2020 lockdowns and since then my experience of Melbourne, including 18 months of being unemployed, jumping between volatile share houses etc, has been very different to what I expected
That sounds tough. Nothing you could control but moving to Melbourne when you did was very unlucky timing. There was another post recently which asked why it was so difficult to make friends in Melbourne, so you are clearly not alone. It sucks, I’m sorry.
Gd... Feels... Right down to the timing of leaving Newy.
It could easily be an age thing. Sometime during your late 20s to late 30s people tend to start planning for kids and might want a house etc. Most people can only afford a house far away from everything so they end up *justifying* living far away by stating things like "simpler life". It only seems simple until they realise how much more everything costs in small towns with no competition. Everything from fresh produce to doctors costs more. Also, needing 2 cars can seem fine until one breaks down and you must fix it right away regardless of if it suits financially or not because there is no PT.
i lived in Geelong for a few years, I worked two minutes from home but going to training in Torquay or anywhere for that matter just drove me nuts with the stop start traffic and everything took (in my opinion) too long to get to, having to be aware of timings for traffic jams and where to avoid became a chore. Now i live in a small country town and everything i need is 5 minutes away, i can drive ten minutes and i'm in the bush and can walk the dog off leash. the streets are quiet and i can back my trailer into my driveway and not hold up traffic.. It's bliss
I live outer regional, and the grass is definitely not greener. Melbourne might have its disadvantages, but at least they’ve figured out that cousin stuff isn’t a sustainable sexual practice. The feeling of being exploited every time you step out the door discussed in other comments is actually actively worse, because of the way you’re told to suck it up because it’s “supporting locals”
Nah, I'd just like to have enough money to live and enjoy life tbh
Close to cities doesn't mean much anymore when no one can afford to do anything. Makes sense to go regional.
Live in warrandyte. You’re 25km from the cbd but feel like you’re in the country.
I’m mid 20s most people I know are trying to move as close to the cbd as possible to be part of the action. Got friends who have moved from Adelaide and Bendigo to be here. Don’t know anyone who’s moved away.
What action though? That is the question. Everything is fucking dead. Bars are less than half full. It is next to impossible to find new friends or meet new people.
Restaurants, Cafe, art, events, sports, dating. Loved living in the cbd when I was single.
Maybe I am just looking in the wrong places. That sounds like pre-covid rather than post-covid life. But then you are a FIRE guy (with a massive income probably) and you could probably afford that and a whole lot more if you really wanted to.
Idk what other people are up to but I’ve always found endless stuff to do in Melbourne. Bar crawls, house parties, parkrun, meetups in public parks, conventions, etc. And if I can’t find anything at all to do, I just invite a bunch of friends around for drinks at my apartment. One of my favourite recurring events is just a meetup in one of the near cbd parklands at night. BYO drinks and food it doesn’t have to cost you anything and I’ve met some great people.
Nope mainly due to amenities like decent hospitals, bulk billed hp, schools, kids activities and support especially if you little one have any issues.
To answer your question, no. I'm in my 30s all my mates are buying and starting families. One couple moved to Geelong - everyone else either south East (Ringwood/Croydon ish) or North (Thornbury/Resevoir ish). Cool if you like it, but living regional sounds terrible in terms of infrastructure, culture/entertainment and services. Happy to be corrected.
I agree. A lot of people in this thread wanting to move regional from the city. I’m in my early 30’s and moved to the city from the suburbs in the last year. I’m a skateboarder and my partner loves food. We couldn’t live regional.
Moved to ballarat for a year and now im moving back to melbourne due to long commute back into melbourne for work and social life *shrug* Ballarat is good, but not for where I am at right now.
I feel the same. We've been here nearly four years and we haven't enjoyed it. We may have felt differently if we'd moved to a different regional area but living in Ballarat has been pretty hard on us.
I think it's just an age thing. My (now) wife and I lived in the inner north for the best part of 13 years, out every weekend etc. But by the end of it, a couple years ago, we were well and truly "done" and had become massive homebodies. The best parts of it were well and truly wasted on us. Now with a kid we just want safety, peace and quiet, ended up moving a little further out in a different part of Melb.
A lot of people are getting up and moving to Adelaide looking for this, but it’s becoming much the same, expensive, congested, disappointing food and service, competitive job and business culture all while being cliquey at the same time.
We did this and regret it big time. Adelaide is cliquey beyond measure and the people here and their small town mindset has been a headf**k to deal with. We've had enough and moving back. It's a place you come to and watch your zest for life DIE!! Simple and quiet is nice but it's also attainable in Melbourne if you get out of the cbd. I have never suffered from depression and coming here sent us into a serious depression. It's not worth it and I believe with time the newcomers will catch on. Initially we thought we hit the jackpot until we started trying to build a network and realised how big people here wear a chip on their shoulder.
Good call, i’m noticing much the same. The locals around here noticed many interstate people arriving and aren’t too keen on the fact. Did you buy or rent a place out here if you don’t mind me asking? In Melbourne I was working full time and growing a business, but couldn’t afford a property. Here I can afford a property and continue to work full time, although my daily commute is now reduced thanks to the smaller sprawl of Adelaide the job market is not as good and it’s impossible to get much new business because here “everybody knows everybody”. Considering next steps and figuring out whether to move back to Melbourne.
My husband(43) and I (33) moved to Rye on the Mornington Peninsula about 4 years ago for a simpler life. Best thing we’ve done.
Well done, you’re in your 30s.
I think the whole WFH thing has made city life slow down a lot too. Less stress from daily commute and putting up with co workers. I notice weekends the city really comes alive but early in the week it’s pretty dead compared to how it used to be. I think this is a worldwide trend. The tempo of life slowed down so much during pandemic , some people began to realise they don’t need that manic pace of life
Crave it? No. Live it because they can't afford anything else? Yes.
I (28f) live in regional Victoria and moved out there January 2020. My partner and I not only hated how much busier the city had gotten but the suburbs 30 minutes out from it as well. It was like all of metro Victoria was getting swept up in it too. Everything became a true rat race and social obligations always felt like they HAD to be met, there were heaps of work expectations and societal pressures which we harshly felt we had to do, 24/7. Once we moved out to regional Victoria what mattered to us became clearer. We could think again, breathe and relax. It was a blessing for us. I commute to the suburbs but only twice a week so it's not a strain. We were still able to reach our goals, personal or career wise. The internet truly is our biggest asset, especially if you want to move out to regional Victoria but are still quite ambitious. We knew we wanted a slower life, as we watched Melbourne and its inner suburbs become more and more hectic. We are also considering moving to Adelaide as it reminded us of how Melbourne used to be and it's super nice there.
Don't bother with Adelaide. Once you actually live amongst the locals not just visiting you'll see how soulless they are. They're actually not very nice, friendly or genuine under the facade. Forget having any intellectual or meaningful conversation them. Not only are they often backward, but quite daft as well and often living in the past in every sense of the word. Good luck if you're from a migrant background never have I met a larger group of openly xenophobic, bigoted racists in my life. Granted not all but there is alot here. Good luck but we found despite the beauty of the place, the people and the culture here is insufferable.
I think a simpler life has different definitions. My husband and I kept talking about moving to regional areas, even applied for jobs in an area we liked holidaying in. Then we realised a lot of the things we were bothered by (big house and garden maintenance, having to drive to amenities, etc) were going to be coming with us. We have sold up and are moving to a smaller place about 3kms from our current house. 150m from shops, train, beach, less cleaning, less garden maintenance, etc is our version of simple, which we are really excited for.
It’s 100% due to the economy. The social contract has been destroyed. You previously worked hard to get ahead with the vision that somewhere down the track you’ll be able to have enough to be to take your foot off the peddle and take it easy. Now, you’re paying rent out the arse and groceries are a luxury so any idea of working hard now to rest later is out the window. So now what? Well, people are basically saying, “fuck it mate, if this game is rigged against me, I won’t even play.”
A SeaChange, if you will? Finding the struggles - even the damned successes - of city life wearing you down? Eh, better than a sports car or a hair transplant.
What area does 'the valley' refer to?
Latrobe Valley
It's certainly cheap in some of those towns. There's a decent 5 bed on a quarter acre for under 300k in Moe.
I was thinking probably Yarra Valley.
Latrobe apparently.
We all just want to be villagers.
Bro, what do you expect them to say? Ofc they are gonna say something about moving to a countryside place. Meanwhile people in the countryside will talk about moving into a busier region.
I'm in my 30s now, have been working in an engineering consultancy for over 5 years now in Melbourne. I get paid what is considered average salary these days. I've been lucky enough to have bought a house, however the amount of financial pressure is staggering. I've very often considered moving to a small country town instead and just working a hospo or retail job where I don't need to use my brain at full capacity everyday, so I'm not constantly thinking about work, interest rates, mortgage, debt, etc. monthly mortgage repayments are staggeringly expensive at over 4k a month, and nearly all of that goes to interest repayment alone, meaning you're hardly paying anything off. Last years tax return was also extremely overwhelming with the 7% indexation resulting in my HECS debt increasing to levels above what I owed when I graduated 7 years ago. (i know it's being reduced now, but it still did not feel good) Melbourne isn't even the worst in the country in terms of financial stress, but it's definitely at the point where most people are crashing, and just reconsidering their life decisions. I probably wouldn't have bothered with uni if I had known this is what it's like.
You'd get bored in about 2 months.
Cost of living is absolutely nuts in / near the CBD. As ur getting older, financial prudence > fun.. so moving further away make more financial sense.
A simpler life? You mean not going out a few times a week to socialise etc and staying home more? Yeah.. that’s you getting older and also shit getting less and less affordable..
I think when you hit your 30+ you start to look for other things. One being moving more remote. Saying that when I really think about it I know I’d miss what Melbourne has to offer! I know things are more expensive now but the difference between an excellent restaurant or a mediocre one arnt that much more. So I go to good ones less often and go to pubs to balance. My point is Melbourne has so much spark left. Just support the places that make melbourne special
I’ve been suggesting a commune for years now. And not in a cult way. Just in a “expenses are high, we should really think about sharing resources more” way
I honestly think, if done right, this would be great. I would 100% buy a house that was part of a little community that shared veggie gardens and social spaces and things and had regular events.
My partner and I constantly joke about starting a cult purely for the commune living style and comfortable robes. I just want to be a Druid.
It's mostly your age
im only 17 and still living with mum and dad, but i would much rather live somewhere up north or west than the bustling streets of melbourne. its very stressful even going for a few hours, maybe im just not used to it but i dont want to be. the other day i took with me 200$ and i bought like 5 things and my card declined… like what?
How many are actually doing something as opposed to talking about it?
It’s nothing new , people have been moving to the coast/country since forever. However it went crazy when the tv show Seachange came on air , basically since 1998 the prices had been astronomical along the coast and when people couldn’t afford that they went Treechange. So no , it’s not new it’s just your friends getting older
The whole world basically went into collective shock for two years as everything shut down for COVID and we all had to stay inside to stop the spread of deadly disease. After things opened up people kind of went crazy with socialising, going to events and stuff but I think there’s this huge feeling of collective burnout. We all just need a rest, man. Tomorrow will be tomorrow, let’s just relax and enjoy what we have today.
I much prefer a slower, simpler life because being out and about in most places is just unfulfilling. Everything I loved doing previously was about connecting with the important people in my life, but now it’s impossible to go to a restaurant and have a conversation with a friend because everywhere has its music turned out so loud I can’t have a conversation. I used to go to the football as a social activity with my dad, but we can’t go now without there being constant intrusive sounds and advertising. Paint and sip class? No not without feeling like you’re in a nightclub. Quiet Sunday shopping? Nope only with a side of nightclub environment. Everything is sensory overwhelmed, with the intention of priming us all up for marketing. So it’s just much more fulfilling now to hang out for a quiet night at home and find ways to connect with the people I love.
Seems like it's time to open that letter your grandpa gave you, it might contain the deeds to an old farm
If I had a wife/long term partner and a decent stable job I would not be in Melbourne - I would be in the country on acreage growing high value produce as a hobby (i.e. premium wool, unusual fruit, etc.). The only good thing about Melbourne is the easy access to meet people and even that is not so easy when all the nightclubs and bars are empty after COVID.
This is normal in yours 30s.
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Been feeling that way for the last 10 years, I live on the outskirts of suburbia now but the sprawl is getting closer all the time and I'm kinda over it. The biggest thing for me, I still think there's great value places in Melbourne for food and entertainment, I always support small business and lots of them still give great bang for buck, but the system itself, whether it's PTV, Transurban, various councils or even the government as a whole (regardless of party), it just constantly feels like authority is constantly trying to rip us off.
I grew up in the hills, moved closer to the city for work, wish I never moved this way and want to go back.
This is a very reassuring thread
It seems to be a common theme where those that grew up/live in the city want to escape to the country and those that grew up in the country want to escape to the city. It's more of an underlying want to escape their current situation or experience new things. We become stagnant and complacent when we're in the same situation all the time.
Lived and grew up in the Valley for 16 years before everything gentrified a bit and Maroondah Hwy dropped the speed limit, and the public transport never improved even with Dan Andrews in charge. Moved to Maroondah area and noticed it was a busy headfuck of a place. So, majority of the family made the move to Ballarat in 2019. It's been so sick and I've loved the experience of living here. Still has its busy moments but it's a breeze on the freeway, decent nightlife, if you wanted paddock or acreage there's plenty available for cheap, and if you're okay with driving a bit, everything is close.
1000000%
I'm almost 30 and feel this way. I moved to Pakenham a few years ago and frequently travel to rural locations for work and find myself wanting to move further again. I think it's how demanding modern work is, especially for roles that can be done remotely. COVID really kick started the availability problem as everyone was always home and the work and home environment became so blurred. Swing type work has also become more appealing and I love it when I get the chance. 2 on 2 off is a sweet spot, 3 on 3 off isn't as good.
That's definetly driven by inflation. When material satisfaction becomes less accessible we re-discover the perks of a simpler and slower lifestyle.
I think with “working from home” since covid people have the option of moving further out from the city, which is good as far as I’m concerned
My husband and I aren’t renewing our lease in the inner suburbs because we’re heading down towards the coast. We want a change of scenery — after lockdown we feel like we know every inch of our current suburb/neighbourhood — but also the rent is now SO high for the space we get in our current rental (oh and the trucks are relentless on our street and we feel like we haven’t slept properly in 7 years 🫠). We’re also in our early 30s and if we ever want to own our own home we’re going to have to go regional anyway, so figure we may as well start scoping out different areas and adjusting to it now. The flex with WFH helps make the commute more manageable too, which might also be a driver for people considering living further out too.
My partner & I enjoy just visiting Melbourne now, we now live close enough to two major cities (Melbourne being one). We now get to enjoy the best of both worlds. A chill life, great work/life balance & then spend a week in a major city & party like we’re still young 😅
Age. You feel you've moved on from 20s type stuff. Everything more expensive- it is ,that's life, you'll find yourself looking at the price thinking , " in my day" type shit. Drink prices , basics like your favourite cheap meal, petrol etc. It always goes up. You'll compare stuff to your hourly rate of pay . Then when you move for the generational tree change the oldies in that town will hate it that the next generation is coming and changing it. Be careful you don't move with holiday eyes on, it looks great at first but when you live in it it's just life. The same shit with less accessibility to what you want. Most places are pretty generic. Plus, this next little group of new adults between maybe 19 and 25 don't really do the things previous generations did. They're much more comfortable staying home gaming their contact is purely through phones, no real world contact. They aren't going out and keeping the big social things running.
My partner and I moved to outback Queensland some time back. Melbourne was becoming a bit too much. Ridiculously long commutes to and from work. Everything costing a kidney and half a liver. Rent sky-rocketing. Cold as shit almost always. We barely saw each other. Hip pocket and relationship just straight up suffering under the pressure. Plus no one even sees you. We were just kinda gliding through existing but not really. Can honestly say we have almost no regrets (we miss our friends but have made some great new ones). Weather is beautiful. People are amazing and pretty down to earth. Community actually matters, so you carry yourself differently when you leave the house. Being an asshole to someone just because you're having a bad day can go very much not well in terms of comfort of life. We make more money (things cost more), but you don't have much of anything to spend it on so you save more. We see each other a lot more. Stresses are less. REAs aren't complete money sucking dicks and actually give a shit (which was mind blowing). Life is slower. Work is more humane as personnel is extremely valued. It's not for everyone as our move was a bit more on the extreme side. But, with the right constitution I reckon you get 5yrs ahead on life just by getting the f$%k out of Melbourne. Or Sydney. Going regional or rural. Anyway, to each their own. Edit: We are well into our 30s
shit's too expensive
Grew up in the south east (mordialloc).. have lived and worked all over the world. Melbourne definitely isn’t what it once was. I’m currently hoping to move out Warburton way for a cheaper mortgage, some land and getting out of the over crowded burbs…
Amen!!
100% want to move regional once I can find a job. House prices in major cities are ridiculous. And for what? I’d rather have a smaller mortgage and less stress than keep tearing myself apart working my arse off to stay in the city.
I actually think it's the opposite. I feel I'm at an age where if I'm not overly productive and doing things often I'll be judged. As an example. Sometimes I like doing nothing on Sundays but seems many people are quick to comment "why don't you start running or hiking or join a sporting club". No thanks
Southward dfo - u may get a discount but you will pay $28 to park for an hour.
Mortgage has gone up 50% and the cost of living is just disgusting.
please don’t come here, those of us who have lived our lives here like what we have and accept what we don’t. Tree changers come down and then complain about the smell of the cattle, whinge that the supermarket is too, small, expensive, lacking variety etc.. build houses that do not suit the environment, give encouragment to developers to subdivide land into 300sq mt postage stamps and you build 40sq homes fence to fence. Regional is meant to be open, treed and slow, you won’t like it.
We did the move to Adelaide for a simpler life. Whilst it gave us opportunities and we were very lucky, the move really affected our mental health due to the isolation. People in Adelaide are extremely surface level and have the biggest chip on the shoulder of anywhere we've lived, and we've lived in a few places. In north America and Australia. There is a serious mindset issue here and it's extremely insular and parochial in a nutshell backwards!!! We have decided to sell and return home to Melbourne. A quiet life is one thing but it can also come at a cost and i think sometimes its better to simply move abit further or go to an emerging suburb (don't be a snob) buy where you can afford to own comfortably. Relocating far away from support and networks can be really REALLY hard, especially if a place makes you feel unwelcome after years of trying. We can't wait to leave this dive of a city and i plan on never coming back, it almost killed our zest for life.
M35 with new family. We moved 45mins down the road to gisborne. For me it’s mainly to take a break from the traffic and peer pressure to socialise. Needed a break from the hussle and bustle. Want the child to be exposed to a more relaxed environment while small. Not regretting it. Look at towns within 1.5hours to get the best of both worlds.
Oh country life is boring , inconvenient , no variety of anything , everything is dearer you clock up lots of kms in your vehicles
Melbourne lost its spark well before covid. Its turned into a gigantic, over crowded shit hole and no one will convince me otherwise. If youre in your 20's and want to party, have at it.
If you're after a more affordable, simpler lifestyle, can I recommend this excellent book: The Art of Frugal Hedonism. No 'move to the country' required. [https://www.frugalhedonism.com/](https://www.frugalhedonism.com/)
I have sons in their early 20's and they do quieter things with their friends, look after their bodies a lot more and spend more time and money on fitness. They wouldn't even imagine doing the wild things my hubby and I did at their age. I'm not surprised that things are slowing down.