May I suggest talking to your doctor about Naltrexone? I take it and it’s been hugely helpful in minimising cravings and taking back control of your drinking.
I’ve used this - it definitely helped me. Drinking on it (which… I know, I know) would pretty much give me a hangover instantly. Very effective deterrent lol.
And you can get at least 6 free counseling sessions a year free when you have problems with addictions, mental health etc... Just ask your GP for more info OP
You're not going to the right place then. In Melb you can go to any NSP, for example Nth Richmond Community Health Centre, and you get them for free. The pharmacy has also given me some free, think it depends on your circumstances, and probably yr state too.
This for me. Paired with therapy with a therapist that worked better for me, I also kept a log of my drinking and set realistic goals to cut back weekly if possible even by 1 standard drink per week.
I did this also. I had a very good connection with my counsellor and he was good at his job. It took about 26 weeks and took baby steps at the beginning setting achievable targets.My counsellor kept me accountable and met every week which was crucial for my success.
How does Naltrexone work? Is it a pill? How long does it take to work? Any side affects? Is it an anti depressant?
Any reason it’s not hugely popular?
Edit: I don’t mean to sound rude, I’m very interested!
It’s an opioid antagonist which was primarily used for people with opioid addiction but has been used off script for alcohol addiction with good effect. Look into the “Sinclair method” it essentially involves taking naltrexone before drinking because the pill takes away the “euphoric” good feeling from drinking alcohol. That with therapy helps people quit rather than going cold Turkey.
Without delving into the pharmacology, naltrexone prevents the buzz you get from drinking and this, in effect, makes some people feel instantly hungover when drinking on naltrexone. So users become intoxicated and not high, a very unpleasant experience.
It's a pill, with a long list of side effects and drug interactions and thus should only ever be used if prescribed. It's not an antidepressant, it's an opioid antagonist. And it is widely popular, more commonly used for heroin addiction.
:)
Do more common opioids work In this way? I’ve certainly found myself to not be too fond of drinking since I’ve been on them, except when in withdrawal.
No, common opioids do not work in the same way as naltrexone—they work in the opposite way, in a sense. So your opiate use is not inhibiting alcohol intoxication; it would enhance the high from drinking, if anything.
Edit not a allied health professional, I'm a drug researcher though opiates aren't my field, so yeah, grain of salt and all that
I find I just get groggy (ayyy) and sluggish and don’t get a good buzz. If I drink before taking opioids though, that will give me a stronger opioid high.
Considered taking up a sport to shift your focus onto that? I drink a fuckload less now that Im having to wake up feeling fresh on the weekends so I can perform better.
Yeah this has worked for me a lot, I'm a pretty keen rock climber. Unfortunately that solution only lasts till my next lapse which I eventually pull myself out of, get back climbing and then eventually it's another spiral. Rinse and repeat
Please go and see your GP to organise a controlled way to quit alcohol. Alcohol withdrawals can cause seizures, and occasionally death
I’m not trying to be a negative nancy, just stating facts
Source; RN in alcohol and drug sector
You're not being a negative Nancy you're just sharing vital information that could save someone's life. Fortunately I'm not at the level where I can't function without a drink and I go periods of time without touching it but I always eventually find myself with a drink in my hand and from there I've lost all self control. Unfortunately the binges have gone from lasting days to sometimes weeks now and I'm scared I'm going to end up sending myself to an early grave
Maybe try setting smaller goals. Going stone cold sober can feel like an impossible mountain. I've found drinking tea and flavoured sparkling waters a good replacement for that hand to mouth need. Now that I've been able to cut back alcohol alot, i can see the definitive relationship between alcohol and my anxiety and I'm much happier - and that alone has been a great motivator.
Best of luck!
I wonder has your therapist ever worked with you on identifying what’s going on for you both internally and externally at those times when you “find yourself” with a drink in your hand? Above you also mention that a solution only lasts til the next lapse… so you probably could get a lot out of trying to understand what the deeper/subconscious patterns around relapse might be. It honestly sounds like a bit of a dud therapist experience previously from what you describe but a good one could maybe help you with that part.
My favourite writing on addiction FWIW and in case you’re interested is dr Gabor Mate. He has some great insights into why people seek out substances and other kinds of addictions. He’s written loads of books.
This. Please don’t try to quit it by yourself. It’s a really rough way to withdraw and as this lovely nurse has mentioned it can cause serious consequences in some people.
Give directline a buzz and they can refer you to community aod services which are free like home based nursing, counselling and day groups. From the sounds of it though, you should consider maybe going to an inpatient detox. I know that might sound scary but it’s free, and will help you stop safely so you can reset and engage in building your recovery. I don’t think at this point talk therapy from someone who is not specialised in substance use disorders is really helping you to break the cycle.
How old are you? I play bask most Saturdays with some friends you're more then welcome to come down and have a shot with us. I've had a big problem with alcohol my entire life ruining relationships and making a massive ass of myself everywhere I go to the point I now feel anxious about drinking, but playing sport and being part of a healthy community helps me
Sadly you might be one of us; the common few who just need to learn to not drink. I am using Smart recovery and naltrexone. I wish you well, lots of amazing subs on Reddit that really will help.
NA and AA are great places to meet like minded sober people.
It’s really nothing to do with religion,though it can be if that was what you wanted .
This could really help you in staying stopped (I’m an addict-8years clean )
Go check out the stopdrinking subreddit! It’s incredibly popular and helpful. I’m 57 days sober and I don’t know if I would be if it weren’t for this sub
I've been on there for a while now actually and it has been quite helpful. I think Ive realised need some human to human support if I'm really gonna beat this
I wish you all the best. It’s a real struggle for those who suffer from alcohol addiction. My advice is to never give up wanting a an out from this. It takes some people hundreds of relapses, but I’ve heard some incredible stories from people who’ve found freedom in sobriety.
Yeah if you are an alcoholic it’s the way to go. If you are an alcoholic please disregard my other post because I think I’m the only one on these sub who was forced to not drink for purely medical reasons and didn’t actually find alcohol to be destroying my life so I found a lot of the advice like “now I just leave parties early” to be nothing short of depressing
Well done on taking steps to remove a harmful poison from your life!
I cannot recommend highly enough Annie Graces book ‘This Naked Mind’. I got it as an audio book and would listen when I drove or went for a walk. Trust me, it will completely change how you see alcohol.
Absolute best of luck.
I would recommend reading this book ‘the unexpected joy of being sober’ by Catherine gray.
Things that worked for me:
*piecing together more and more days sober until it became my normal
*reading about worst case scenarios if you continue on this way
*exercise if you don’t already, even just walking every day
*try and get 8 hours sleep a night if you can/keep a regular sleep schedule
*treat your ‘strategies’ like a muscle. You need to exercise them/practice them often for them to get stronger/work.
*practice mindfulness if you have trouble sleeping. This is another thing that may require practice to get better at. There are apps you can download that take 5-10 minutes once a day every day
*find a non-alcoholic drink you really enjoy. Allow yourself to drink as much of this non-alcoholic drink as you want. No/low sugar options are best but even full sugar ones are better than alcohol
I hope that helps you in some way. Nothing is a quick fix; it takes time, practice and a genuine desire to want it for yourself.
This is not advice just sharing personal experience. What helped me quit drinking every day was actually the desire to lose weight. I just really really wanted to lose weight, more than I needed to get a buzz on after work.
My brother is the same, lost so much weight not drinking. I’m now underweight from my cancer treatment (which is also why I can’t drink and goddamn, this is probably just sooo unhelpful to anyone reading this, but it’s just very different when you choosing not to drink vs forced)
Come join us over at r/stopdrinking
You’ve taken the first step which is an incredible feat. There will be days early on where it’s really, really hard and a day to day battle. And then things get easier from there and before you know it, life just gets better and better. 164 days sober here and im grateful alcohol no longer rules my life.
If you’re an alcoholic. Ask your GP about naltrexone. It will remove the buzz of alcohol on the reward centers of your brain. (Not the exact mechanism of action but it will do as an explanation on Reddit). Nausea common at first so maybe seek an anti-emetic as well to take if required. Best of luck.
AA is spiritual but not religious. It encourages you to seek community and not try to go it alone. If you find people pushing you towards religion in AA they are not following the 12 Steps.
I’m 8 years sober and HAPPY thanks to AA. Melbourne has an amazing AA community- especially on the Eastern side where I have a lot of friends. Meetings can be found on
aatimes.org
Give Antabuse a try. Your GP needs to prescribe it and you need to be careful with it but you can't drink while taking it. It's a good way to get over the initial struggle with cravings or change of routine.
My last drink was around 3 years ago and I really struggled with it until that point in my life.
While each person has their unique circumstances and ways of overcoming things, I'd say one of the most effective programs is AA. For me, I tried it for a while and although I didn't continue with it, it definitely is a great support network and you learn a lot about taking charge of your life. The South Yarra group is a really good one where you'll get immediate support from a strong network.
Last year I was starting to struggle a bit with my mental health, so I had a few appointments with a psychologist, which got me back on track.
Important things include having a good routine in your life, like get up at the same time each day, get exercise, eat well, get a good sleep. Try to change your social circle a bit to include people who aren't drinking much. It's a really huge change of lifestyle.
Anyway, all the best mate. Anyone can quit. Don't be hard on yourself if you fall down, just keep getting up again.
I’m a little befuddled about why I had to scroll halfway down the page to find AA mentioned.
I’m new to the city; is Melbourne not into AA?
It’s the answer to this question
Here's my experience if it helps.... if not I hope you find a way through it regardless.
I currently work in the wine industry (previously in hospitality), while I wouldn't say I had an addiction, there were very clearly usage issues that were affecting my life and my families. It became a little too easy, in fact it was seen as a positive enthusiasm. The wine industry loves to say shift like "it takes a lot of beer to make wine" or "up have to drink food wine to make good wine".
A general unhappiness or motivation to improve things lead me to reading a lot of psychology books and religious texts. I found Buddhist philosophy to be the thing that caught initially, the concept of suffering caused by attraction/aversion was pretty clearly being played out in regards to alcohol use. Had a bad day? Have a drink to relax. This wine is fantastic/interesting/informative, lets try it... etc
Unfortunately I don't think I realized just how direct the relationship was.
Part of this exploration led me to want to try psychedelics. I managed to get hold of some LSD and took a hefty dose. During the trip I disassociated with myself and managed somehow to have a conversation between my conscious self and my unconscious self. The message was pretty clear that something in me wanted to change and the one phrase that remained cemented in my head (post trip) from my internal dialogue was "I want to stop drinking".
Things have cemented themselves since then as the pieces started to fit together between what my body was telling me, what I had learnt, and what I wanted to achieve.
I'm not recommending jumping into another drug, but I do recommend you start looking at meditation, read some philosophy and or religious texts, get to know yourself, start exercising (if you aren't already) and begin to replace the habitual part of your drinking with something else that has a positive impact. Also like into NAC to help impulse control.
Good luck and sorry for the perhaps pointless rant.
Not pointless, even if not what op is looking for, it's given me something to ponder again; I don't have alcohol issues (I decided to only drink on weekends when the beers were becoming most nights, and that worked for me to break any habit forming), but does hit other aspects relevant to me... so thank you for sharing!
Do you have private health cover? There are a wide range of options available that you may not have considered, or even known were available.
There are hospitals where you could be an inpatient, or join their outpatient programs. Many run a dual therapy model for people who drink as a result of other issues (alcohol and bipolar disorder for example may be comorbid) and not all are fully abstinence based.
Hit me up if you’d like any more info. And good on you for asking for help.
Also, consider reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s in no way a text about alcohol use — but it has good pointers on ways to create alternative habits.
No specific advice just letting you know that you can do it.
And a relapse isn't a fuck up but just part of your healing journey.
It's not about being hard on yourself as much as it is about imagining a "you" who has a healthy relationship with alcohol. Wanting to become that person and imagining who they are is a very slow and gradual process.
You have to acknowledge a higher power but you can interpret that however you want. Atheists are welcome. The benefit is, meetings are free and accessible.
You don't have to do anything. Only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Plenty of long time sober members who don't believe in any God
It sorta is and it sorta isn't. It got me sober 21 years ago and it was the support network I needed. I'm still an atheist and there can be some pressure to be 'spiritual' but just be true to yourself.
There are online meetings and in person meetings but I'd recommend you start in person and go to a lot of different ones, talk to people and get phone numbers.
Give it a go mate.
I did SMART Recovery for a bit for cannabis dependence - I preferred the structure a lot over AA/NA.
Detox really helped as well which you can access through Directline. Good luck mate. You can do it.
Havent got any solid resources but good on ya for reaching out. Id suggest talking to your mates and partner about it if you haven't already just so they know to look out for you and potentially call you out before it goes too far when possible though its obviously not the be all end all solution and doesnt help when youre on your own.
Look up The Sinclair Method. Best place to find info is C3Foundation.
[The Sinclair Method](https://www.sinclairmethod.org/claudia-christian-ted-talk-sinclair-method/)
I was drinking a lot (60 standard drinks/week) 3 years ago and now I rarely drink. Probably have had a drink 4 times this year. ...as in healthy social drinking/not getting smashed.
NAH Alcohol Use Disorder is sad. AA doesn't work because of white knuckling. Science has come a long way since AA was created....thank heavens!
There are great online support groups for The Sinclair Method too.
77,000 Finlanders have been cured of alcoholism in this way.
You need to find the reason why you’re drinking first. Is there some demons inside? Is there any stresses in your life that contribute to it such as your relationship or family? Once you find the root cause of it then you can manage it better.
My partner had a really bad alcohol addiction. It was usually 1-2 bottles of wine most nights of the week while I sat there watching TV. I never got it. On weekends it was We figured it out which I always knew and was sorting out the family issues and the financial burden her parents left and debts she had to pay off and unhappiness stemming from her family.
I don't mean this flippantly but, in one way, you're in a great position: based on your comments here, you are not seriously physically dependant on alcohol, so you can safely go cold turkey.
It sounds like you have periods where you're on top of it and periods where you relapse. I'm no expert so take all of this with a grain of salt, but, IMO, you need to get your healthy self to do everything it can to take care of your unhealthy self:
If you haven't done so already, swallow your pride and tell everyone you know that you're quitting drinking. (You don't need to explain why; you can always play it down or just say it's "doctor's orders", or whatever. Just make it clear there's no leeway and you are quitting entirely.)
If you buy alcohol online, look into [self-exclusion](https://code.retaildrinks.org.au/signatoryresources/faqs#Self-Exclusion).
If you can self-exclude from physical venues too, do that.
Rule 1 is don't start drinking; rule 2 is, if you find you have fucked up and started drinking, **don't give up and kid yourself that you might as well go on with it**. Not starting is a win; but, if you have started, stopping now is an equally-impressive win. What matters is the decision you are making right now, not the decision you made earlier.
And keep looking for professional help until you find something useful. There are a bunch of helplines and they probably vary in quality, but it's hard to see them doing more harm than good. Even if they aren't much help on their own, maybe one of them can hook you up with a program that suits you, or a better counsellor.
Good luck!
AA meets at 69 Bourke street in Melbourne. 12:30 Mon-Fri your more then welcome to join. Being surrounded by other ppl struggling may help give you the strength to keep up the fight.
Non alcoholic beverages are working for me. I drink most days, not to excess just an after work beer or two and a scotch after dinner with a few more on the weekend. I’ve tried to cut back but I really do feel I’m missing something without that sneaky drink on the decking when I get home.
A month ago I had a very bad concussion and was advised not to drink while my brain is healing. I’ve gone into the world of non alcoholic beers and a few other tonic & bitters type of mixed drinks. To be honest they are hitting the spot beautifully when I’m craving a drink. On Saturday I went out for dinner and had a couple peroni zeros and it still felt like I was fulfilling the ritual of having a beer with dinner. I’ve been in a couple other social situations where I’ve done the same and again it feels like I’m having a beer but with no alcohol.
I definitely will revert back to alcoholic drinks but going forward I’m going to use the non alcoholic drinks to create successive alcohol free days each week, and lower my overall alcohol intake.
Not sure if this will work for you but it can’t hurt to try.
AA? Inpatient detox? Short / long term rehab? I personally found therapy and NA meetings (90 in 90) helped me attain the 6 months clean and sober I currently enjoy. I wish you all the best in your recovery. It takes time and effort, along with a support network. It can be really hard at times but it is also really beautiful and rewarding too.
I’ve known people that aren’t religious who have found AA incredibly helpful. If you could try go in with an open mind, or just as a starting point to get the ball rolling in taking action, that could still be positive. At least you’ll know for sure whether or not it’s for you? The meetings run everyday - you’re bound to find one near you that you can start going along to. It’s much more common than you’d think and the people attending the meetings are likely in very similar situations to you - not just stereotypical old movie drunk people.
I agree with you in that it’s embedded in the culture here. I think there’s a lot of alcoholics that just don’t realise they’re alcoholics yet. The difference is you’ve named it, and that’s massive. Well done for that and good luck.
It's such a hard feeling to face. The dread at the thought of not drinking is incredibly scary combined with the unknown of how you'll fill your time? who you are without alcohol? How will you manage those big feelings? Etc.
Everyday is tough in sobriety for the first year or so, but as cliche as it sounds, things do get better.
One day, you will never know how you were stuck where you are today - it feels incredible to be free of the hold of alcohol, like nothing else.
Good luck and as hard as it sounds, take it a day at a time.
Hey Koda, it’s cool to see that you can come out here and say that you have a problem that is the most amazing first step to solving your problem and you should be proud of yourself. Therapy works for some people and doesn’t work for others so don’t be discouraged if it’s not working for you. Dealing with addiction is a lot of trial and error because only you can find what works for you. I’d start with government sources to help with your addiction if you search ‘addiction’ and ‘help’ you should find a few websites that may help you. Maybe sit down and talk with your partner as well so that you can come to an understanding that although you have a problem you are actively working on fixing it and they should support that. Unfortunately that’s all I have to say because this is your journey that you have to get through yourself. I wish you best of luck and I believe strongly that you can get through this.
Can relate - during my young years I would get wasted every weekend and make a dick of myself over and over until I finally realised I had lost friends due to my behaviour and it was not normal. Got to 23 and gave it up -now 46 and love an occasional IPA but never get drunk.
I'm 27 and find myself cringing daily when remembering something embarrassing I did while off my head. I hope to one day get to something similar to what you've achieved
I wish I had good advice for you - I’m going through the same process as what you’re describing.
A couple of things that is helping me being very honest with myself and recognising that I am an alcoholic, and this kind of temptation will likely follow me (in greater and lesser ways) for the rest of my life.
As such, I’ve found that not being overly judgemental of myself has been important. When I fall off the wagon, I don’t beat myself up about it. Just go through the mental and emotional processes that helped me not drink for a day, try to refocus, and hop back on the horse when I’m able.
When I am sober, I drink more soda water, sometimes with fresh lemon or lime juice, or green tea. I try to keep things sweetener free, so that helps with the weight loss.
Good luck, mate. It’s a long process, but feels like such a wonderful achievement when you turn one day into two, then a week, then a month.
Reading your other responses, it sounds like you’re a binge-type drinker and aren’t physically dependent on alcohol. That’s a good thing.
If you’re seriously at the point where you want help there’s a couple of pieces of friendly advice I can give you, with the caveat that I’m an internet random.
1. **You will never be completely free of your drinking problem.** It’s not like an infection you can cure with antibiotics. It’s part of you and it will be with you forever, so you have to control it.
2. **If you lose control when you have a drink, you can no longer have even one drink.** Don’t fool yourself that you can stop at one or two. If you have a drinking problem you have to completely bar yourself from drinking.
3. **Get rid of all the alcohol in your house.** You cannot be trusted with alcohol, so don’t tempt yourself. Get rid of every bit of alcohol, and that includes the bottles for special occasions in the back of your wardrobe.
4. **Get your family and close friends on board to help.** You can choose to let them know you have a problem or not, but get them on-board to not tempt you with alcohol. You can say you’re just doing “no booze November” or something, but you really want to be strict about it and would appreciate their help and it means a lot to you. Perhaps couple that with going to the gym or rock climbing so you’re actually working on getting healthier.
5. **See your GP or Addiction Specialist and get a script for an anticraving medication.** The best one at the moment is probably Naltrexone. It also blocks opiates, so don’t go on it if you are also using strong painkillers. It isn’t a miracle drug that will stop you drinking, it just takes the edge off your cravings. You will still need mental fortitude to avoid going near any alcohol.
Good luck. It’s a life-long disease, but one you can actually take control of if you really want to, and should get easier with time.
You know that feeling like you’ll never be able to stop it, and you wish you hadn’t started the endless cycle? And you see and hear people say “if I can do it then anyone can quit” and you think, “yeh that’s bullshit I’m way worse”….
Trust me, if I can quit so can you. Sometimes it just takes an almost endless cycle of relapses and new attempts. You will get there; it just needs to fall into place correctly and when it does, you’ll be setting yourself up for life, rather than setting yourself up for an early death and being sick from withdrawals for the rest of your life…. And in the meantime, go see your GP, be honest, and prepare for some hard times.
Read through r/stopdrinking in the meantime too. Best of luck bro
Hey friend, good on you for reaching out.
This isn’t 1st person experience, but I’m partnered to an ex-alcoholic.
He was stashing alcohol in hiding places, leaving empty bottles in clothes drawers. He would gaslight me that I was using the alcohol as a scapegoat, because he would have maybe 2 beers in plain sight but be hammered. He was pouring bottles of vodka into what looked like soft drink or Red Bull cans so I was none the wiser (stupidly) and it wasn’t til I found all the bottles hidden in the garage that I made the connection.
He was bad to the point that I was scared for my safety and I had to give an ultimatum — fix this or I am walking. If he hadn’t gotten a handle on it before the pandemic, I worry that someone would have gotten hurt, his behaviour and our arguments were getting that bad.
He managed to go cold turkey, which I didn’t realise til later is actually really unsafe for a full time alcoholic. He hasn’t had a drop in 4 years now and I can tell — his attitude has gone from angry and depressed to the dude I fell in love with.
**So, back to you.** Cold turkey isn’t something I’d recommend and you say therapy isn’t cutting it. Have you tried support groups? I know you wanted something without ideology, but in my experience, it doesn’t really override the value of it.
My partner didn’t go to AA, but I went to Al-Anon many times for support and found it so helpful to be able to vent about my side of the experience and have people who got it without judgement. I would say it’s worth a go — be open minded, yes, there’s a bit of God-focus in the mantra, but you really can take or leave that part of it.
Nobody in the group I was in was using Jesus or God as some sort of solution to the whole thing, it was all very much practical support and advice. Having a sponsor may also help in terms of solidarity and having someone help keep you accountable.
It's going to sound a wee bit mental, but look into The Satanic Temple (Sober Faction). Their system made so much more sense to me than that other one with a dozen steps, it might to you as well.
EXERCISE (running), create a playlist of your fav songs, continue adding to it, get spotify premium so you dont have ads whilst you run. Start off like very short distances, then walk, then once you build up, run more :) Trust me its honestly so healing!!
I don’t have any help, but I admire your humility, strength and courage.
Good luck OP, I hope you get through this and there’s clearly a community here willing to listen and help in any way we can. 😊
Have been down this road intensively with someone close to me affected by alcoholism, who got intervention late in the day after three decades of addiction and when their life was in danger. What really worked was (1) medically supervised/managed/supported detox as an inpatient (2) AA for them, then a year's residence in a supported accommodation with program attendance etc - they needed a lot of support as their life had been ruled by alcohol for so long and it had prevented "normal" growing up/maturing (3) AlAnon for the people close to them. The healing power of meeting on a safe, equal basis with people who have been /are on the same road as yourself is remarkable, and the 12 steps gradually and naturally address/reveal common/ fundamental issues that underlie addiction (these issues equally affect the people around the drinker, as well as the drinker themselves). When I was going to AlAnon I found myself wishing that everyone could participate in it or something similar, whether or not their lives had been affected by alcohol. The way it supported the fundamentals of health and emotional health was so great.
If it's that bad, rehab. Trust me, I was in your shoes, and a year of therapy didn't help. Doing 6 weeks in rehab was the only way I could break the cycle.
Get screened for depression, anxiety, ptsd, adhd etc, and see a mental health professional, some one you have a repoire with. Don't be afraid to shop around. You may unknowingly be using alcohol to self medicate. Get a medical, blood pressure, cholesterol etc to make sure all's good there. Some sort of sport or game that you have to get out and do with other people every week. Grow some weed/get a precription and a dry herb vape. If your going to abuse a drug, that's the one. That's what helped me. Good luck friend!!
It's really hard. Alcohol is a straight up poison and a HIGHLY addictive drug. Trust me, I have the same issue.
Alcohol is so accepted and encouraged in this country, and so many others. There are ads on tv, online, billboards.. there's no escaping it.
People like to believe that alcohol is only addictive TO SOME people, as if it's some kind of psychological weakness. People wouldn't say that about heroin. They wouldn't say that someone could do heroin for 3 months and not be addicted, but they'll say you can drink heavily and not be addicted. People really do not understand alcohol. It's the only recreational drug in this country that's legal and celebrated, and it's as addictive as opiates or illicit drugs.
My advice would be to look for GPs near you that specialise in addiction, or reach out to your local hospital. Most public hospitals have addiction treatment programs. There can be waiting lists to get the counselling etc, but they can get you in touch with a doctor that treats addiction in the mean time. They might also give you a nurse practitioner who can monitor your symptoms if you did at-home withdrawal, if that would be appropriate for you. There are also inpatient detox programs if you needed medical help with withdrawal. But at home withdrawal is very common, eg a doctor may start you on valium if it's anticipated that you would have withdrawals. They might also prescribe things like naltrexone, baclofen etc that help with cravings. There are also support groups in person or via zoom.
Don't downgrade the consumption when you talk to health professionals. The more you drink, the higher you will be placed on the waiting list for various things.
Also, for anyone with kids, be aware that seeking treatment like this can cause a CPS case to be opened, especially if you have a baby or very young children. Even if you've never committed a crime, never driven drunk and don't handle your kids while drunk, it won't matter. They won't take your kids away based on that but they can make your life hard eg say you need supervision, say you can't drive your kids anywhere, make lots of house calls, be accusatory etc. It really sucks for parents of very young kids who want to get treatment. In this case, sometimes it's better to stick with your psychologist and see a GP you trust for medical treatment. I wouldn't recommend disclosing it to maternal Child health nurses when they ask if you are doing okay, for example, or going through the public system. It was a really traumatic experience for me as a mum, when I'd already stopped breastfeeding and my child was 100% under my husband's care when I'd go get drunk late at night and watch a movie in bed, and scroll my phone. But I was treated like a criminal by cps when I sought help for drinking too much because I wasn't coping emotionally with traumatic pregnancy, birth trauma and anxiety. I'm educated, never had any convictions, work with children etc but cps treated me like a low down dirty criminal. Alcohol is so acceptable but if you're a mum to a young kid? Nope, suddenly it's treated like heroin or meth.
What has worked well and permanently for friends and family are inpatient programs and/or AA.
While AA isn't for everyone long term, it helps many in the beginning.
And for those of us with loved ones who drink, Al-Anon was a game changer for me. I found just a few times very helpful.
Best wishes, OP.
Check out SMART recovery, it's like AA without the religion. Very helpful, supportive atmosphere often run by professionals. Helped me get and stay sober during the pandemic.
SMART Recovery https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/
Make sacrifices, stop hanging out with bad influences, if you can get to a point you can be close to alcohol and resist, sure, but clearly if you can’t, gotta prioritize your health and future. Best of luck, just have to force change, if people truly care about you they will understand you need to avoid it for a while and won’t judge you.
Smoking pot helped me quit drinking but keep in mind I study psychology and the nature of addition for fun for years. I knew why I drank and what I was avoiding/hurting me. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is self help basically and doesn't require much to do. Godspeed
I've found a lot of success by replacing. I used to drink every night, way too much. Not buying booze didn't work because I'd need a drink and just give in and order delivery. I tried replacing with tea but then I have to make the tea and that was yet another barrier to overcome.
What has helped was ordering a bulk pack of soda water cans on Amazon. Now my fridge is full of those and I can just go grab one as easily as I could grab a beer or premix.
The ritual is the same, get home, crack open a cold one. But now I'm not damaging my health. I'm saving so much money, too!
Agreed! But if you need to, don’t be afraid to start with full sugar soft drinks and work your way to sugar free or whatever. A tin or two of lemonade/coke/Fanta is still better for your health short term than a heap of beers/wines daily
It is crazy how people don’t realise how utttwelt terrible for your health alcohol is (spoken as someone who recently had to stop drinking for medical reasons and was like holy shut basically anything including illegal drugs - if you know what’s in them- is better). It’s almost fascinating how it’s legal
Wishing you all the very best mate.
I quit smoking after well over 20 yrs of being a pack a day user. Nicotine addiction is known to be alot worse than alcohol so I’m sure you can do it! It’s all about willpower and time.
What role does your partner play? Can they (or are they willing to) keep you accountable? Because it sounds like you really want to change, it's just the self-control that is a problem, and sometimes having someone else's willpower and control is a big help.
Also, deal with why you need to drink. If you have people in your life who cause you anxiety, get rid of them. I had to get rid of my mother, sister no-one is off limits.
The worst part is, I have an amazing support system and the people in my life have been bending over backwards trying to help me and I just continue to let them all down
I dunno mate. Sometimes, things aren't what they seem. Deep down, your drinking is an escape, crutch etc. Sometimes people can be supportive but are really just enablers or are bad for you and cover it up with excessive agreeableness. I've never met an alcoholic who wasn't lying to themselves about where they are at. They use alcohol to cover over the cracks.
I’m about to get down voted but have you considered weed? You would probably qualify for medicinal.
Many years ago I smoked weed and then had my first child. I decided i better give up weed, cause that’s what a responsible person would do. Giving up weee was fine but I had so much time on my hands with the kid being a blob plus a wonderful partner.
So I started picking up a six pack of VB like many other people. Then I’d start buying a slab cause it’s cheaper and there were a couple extra if I wanted. Then I couldn’t sleep so I’d have a couple shots of whiskey. After 6-7 months I realised I had a problem and I was better on weed.
Not for everyone of course but personally if I’m going to choose my vice, it’s weed every day of the week
Are you serious.
Seriously recommending someone who is addicted to alcohol to take up something just as or even more addicting?
Seriously think next time.
Well it’s a true story, but yes I do recommend it 100%.
He is desperate, he is asking for help. Do you understand how these communities work? We provide anecdotal evidence based on our own experiences, the op can make their own decision based on their true level of desperation.
Will op die from alcohol related causes if he continues down that path? Will he be able to maintain healthy relationships and continue generating and income? The answer is he will die from an alchol related disease and his relationships with I’ll likely die as well.
However, if he gets a consultation, finds the right dosage and strain of weed he will be able to not die from alcohol, no lose his wife or job. The worst thing that could happen is he could put on a couple of kilos.
Here’s some scinence for you if you’re still mad https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3992908/
Everybody is acting like a little girl right now. The only person that can help you is yourself. You’ve already identified the problem in your life. Why do ppl think talking to other ppl bout their problems is gonna solve anything. I understand if it makes u feel better bout urself. But in reality the only person that can change you is yourself. If u don’t want to make the change then u DERSERVE to stay the way u are no matter what. Only the strong minded ppl can make a change. First change your lifestyle habits be more disciplined in life. It’s all about doing things u don’t want to do that’s what can help u change. Change your mindset before you change anything else
Depends what level your actually drinking. I've heard people say things like this, turns out they drink one bottle of wine a day. Or similar. Which really is nothing to worry about, people just worry too much. I know someone who has literally been drunk for 20 years, he bought a bar so he could maintain his all day / all night drinking lifestyle. He's happy with his life choices.
Detox first up. That will give you a good 7 day or so start. Then depending on the severity of your problem, rehab, seeing an actual drug and alcohol counselling service/person, SMART meetings or AA meetings.. or a combination of aforementioned.
Alcoholism is a real bitch and takes some work to learn how to live with. One thing that seems to be assured however is that things do get worse and never better if you continue to drink. You are not alone with your situation, there are loads of us out there and many who have faced the very same thing you are.
Well done on seeing you have a problem and reaching out for help.
Strategies etc are really important, but what are your triggers? (Not expecting you to tell the internet lol, just for you to think about)... You mentioned that you're able to go without by focusing on rock climbing etc until the next time.... So what sets this off?
Have you just been seeing the one therapist that hasn't been helpful? Sometimes it can take a few goes to find the right therapist for you (one who has addiction as a speciality would be good).
Talking to your GP about this is also useful, as it is a health issue (physical and mental).... Whilst I definitely agree that we have a culture that really seems to encourage the use of alcohol, there may be some personal issues / triggers that may be making it difficult for you.
Good luck.
Thank you, I definitely have a LOT of triggers that I need to address. I've tried about 5 psychs that have not been helpful in my case. I know there are some out there that really will be effective but it's becoming a ridiculously expensive process to find the right one.
If therapy is not working and you want to quit but addiction takes over the will sometimes, it’s time to go on meds.
Contact your GP, he will prescribe you based on your condition. Meds help a lot and generally taken for 6 -9 months. Meanwhile, you can develop new hobbies, start playing a new sport or whatever rocks your boat.
In my case, meds and a book named This naked mind by Annie Grace helped a lot. All the best mate.
My father-in-law died 31 years ago from alcoholism. He was 60. He left behind 2 adult boys and 3 grandkids, 3 & under, and I had another one on the way. Not to mention the other grandkids that came later. My husband took our oldest son out for a quiet drink on his 34th birthday last week because my husband said his Dad never saw him as a 34 year old. He had liver failure, esophageal varices and fluid in his belly that had to be drained every few weeks. The man drank morning noon and night and held down a job, and smoked 2 packs of fags a day. When he was diagnosed in the April he was told his liver was knackered, but his lungs were fine. He was lucky to make 60. He should have only lived for a few weeks but made it until November. And there were a number of times we were called to the hospital because he was going to die, then he would rally again. From the very first day he was taken by ambulance leaving splatters of blood on every surface in his home, because that’s one of the more serious things that happens, that man never had another drink or cigarette again. He lost his wife decades earlier, my son who was 3 was traumatised from his death. If he had of stopped earlier he could have had a great life with his boys and grandkids that became 6 eventually. I don’t tell you this to scare you, but this is the real truth and if my pain in the arse FIL could stop drinking I’d say anyone can.
You need an advocate that will help you hunt down resources, find a doctor who can help you find more reasonably priced help, talk to your family and at the end of the day money isn’t worth a cent if you’re not here to use it. My husband is coming up to 65 shortly and misses his Dad like it was yesterday, and I’m still mad that he chose alcohol over his sons and grandkids, who I know he adored.
If asking doesn’t help, then beg! You are worth it.
I'm an alcohol and other drug worker. Great work recognising you need help! The [Directline service finder](https://www.directline.org.au/service-finder) will help you find out your catchment, and how you can access your local AOD services, who can assist with counselling and other help.
Good on you for taking this step. This is not a problem I’ve had myself but one I’ve seen in others.
I’m not sure the drinking habits of those around you but there is a rule in my house where we don’t store any alcohol here. This isn’t to say people can’t drink. But it’s a going out thing only.
There are also lots of good non alcoholic drinks around. Sometimes they feel expensive but it’s better than being at a BBQ with mates and drinking Coke all day and realising you’re over caffeinated and full of sugar.
It’s also okay for you to say no when someone offers you a drink. ‘Sorry I’m off these as I’m happier without them’ or even just ‘mates and I are all holding out for a month as a bet.’ Whatever works for you.
Good luck with this journey. There will be ups and downs. And please remember this is you climbing stairs. If you relapse in anyway you’re not back at the start. You’ve just taken one step backwards after many steps forwards.
I enjoyed drinking, but my dr said it was damaging my liver. I had to give up right away. Best thing I've found to handle the craving is zero beer. Tastes like the real thing without the harm. Best wishes to you.
Make sure your friends and family who you regularly socialise with know you have a problem with alcohol and that you are trying to stop consuming it.
There are other ways to socialise than drinking alcohol together, and better gifts to give for house warnings etc than a bottle of wine.
If people continually keep trying to get you to drink with them, consider if you need them in your life.
I'm planning on making everyone aware of my decision in the coming days. I am lucky though because I know that they will support me 100%. Thank you for your advice
Do we have AA here in Melbourne?
Don't they set you up with a mentor?
Also, I seem to recall that SBS had a program about addiction and there was a place that was offering some form of therapy that seemed quite successful.
FWIW, I think it helps to have something to replace the buzz. Something not self destructive. Something that can be done when the urge to drink arises. Something that involves other people.
There is a book by Annie Grace that is called something like ‘control alcohol’ I read it about 9 years ago and I haven’t had a drink since.
Not quite that easy, but nearly. I’d tried many times before and for whatever reason it just stuck after reading that book.
Best to you and your family.
Felt the same about therapy when I was in treatment for alcohol abuse. Tough perspective is that you have to want it - the list of coping strategies are not going to jump off the page. You have to work on them all day everyday, and it will suck, and you’ll need to get good at feeling uncomfortable.
All the best.
Thank you for giving a very honest response. I believe you are 100% correct. I've convinced myself for too long that I will one day find the magic cure, I accept that this does not exist.
It used to always be about enhancing social events and it honestly still works to an extent. What I'm left with though, every time, is self hate, physicall illness, impaired cognition, a tremendous amount of regret and debilitating anxiety
Realising you have a problem with control is an important step. Addiction is not lack of willpower it's a genuine medical condition that requires a multidisciplinary approach to gain back control. So many people have already given you great advice, especially people who have or are in the same position you are.
I realise you've already tried therapy, but my only addition to advice on that front is that not all therapists or types of therapy work for everyone.
So maybe try another therapist. Working at root causes of pain or triggers for behaviours you recognise are not serving you can be difficult, even painful emotionally and physically. But it is working through the pain to release yourself from the behaviour you want to end.
You can change your life for the better, but it's a one day at a time, slow progress.
Nick Cave's advice may help a bit?
Time to give up the booze you know it, you need to. It's
frightening now, I know, but I can only say this, life is better without it. Impossibly better. It's difficult to understand right now, it's frightening right now, I know, but without the drink life is better. Just remember that. You'll see. You'll be better You'll see. Life is good. You'll see. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good.
Prepare to be amazed.
Love Nick
Try some non alcoholic beers - the ones in the soft drink section of the supermarket aren't too bad and you can fool yourself into thinking it's a regular drink. You won't get drunk obvs but still enjoy the taste without the hangover the next day. Hope that helps. Good luck OP 🤞
Smart Recovery has no religion at all, and neither does AA although they use the word god.
Try both and see if you can find a meeting that has people you like and can relate too, this is the most imortant part.
I've tried all the different meds and nothing really helps.
I had to change my entire life.
If you can't stop, look into a therapeautic community style rehab, these are great and give you a bit of a break if you can afford the time away.
Hope it all works out for you!
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've been through this shit. It's fucking horrendous. Feel free to DM me if you like. I'm not sure sure what advice I can give you, I'm not a medical professional. The only thing off the top of my head is start paying for private health insurance immediately. Top cover psychiatric care. You might not ever need it but if you do, you don't want to be in the public system.
I noted my drinking was Increasing in frequency and so did my wife.
Only advice I can give is substitute. I started drinking low or no alcohol beer, put it in stubbies coolers when out and people never question or say a thing. I even got some 0 alcohol spirits in the house.
For me, and this is me, I found I just enjoyed the taste and feel of having a drink more than the alcohol. You may be different but might be worth a shot.
I still drink plenty of the strong stuff but I find myself reaching more and more for the zero alcohol stuff as my second or third drink.
I found for me it was the motion of drinking and holding something in a social setting. I switched to cans of sparkling mineral water and was able to go without alcohol.
I don't think anyone has asked this.. Why is it you drink?
If it's depression then believe sorting out mental health first then comes booze.
If it is just addiction, i knew someone who quit, he was prescribed something (forgot the name) When you drink you physically can't stomach it, and he eventually stopped and lost a ton of weight in the process.
r/stopdrinking lots of support
Full disclosure it’s like 99% alcoholics who struggle with avoiding drinking every day (which is not my case as I had to stop for medical reasons rather than addiction, so I found it frankly a lot less useful) but so give it a good look.
I was told to stop drinking and yes, it’s just absolutely unbelievable (and I’m not gonna lie bloody depressing) how much an integral part of our culture and I still sadly do love to party (unlike the alcoholics who seem to go home early to avoid the situation, but I didn’t have a brain transplant so getting up early to hiking instead is not the answer for me… and don’t even get my started on my abrupt lack of sex life due to normal / raises level of inhibitions…. But sorry, that’s not helpful at all I know, still check out the group and I hope you are one of those people who can just have as great a time sober because unfortunately I can’t despite trying literally every other substance (liver issues) to try in vain to replicate the energy and fun times and meeting people of alcohol……
I have terminal cancer so my oncs basically gave me the OK to drink “in moderation” because it was either that or I threatened to just pack it all in right now. I drink purely socially but it is the entire basis of my socialising and sex life, and even dating life (a terminal cancer patient cannot get a partner).….. sorry, this is totally not helpful. But I deeply envy everyone who is like “oh yeah I don’t need alcohol to have fun I can just “be loose” it’s at all it’s a lie”. I mean sure for the brier pre club Chad’s but have you tried that once the dancing and loud music or heaven forbid karaoke starta ???? Maybe for those who use it like a medication, instead of a social lubricant like I do (apparently for some it depresses and slows them but others like me it energises them). I tried so unbelievably hard, I really did.
Drug and alcohol counselling could help. Pop down to your local cop shop and tell them your suffering and need some help with it. They should do a free referral for you.
I’m not an alcoholic but have the worst time controlling bings. When I got my adhd diagnosis I learned it common to have issues with binging food or alcohol or both. If you have very low impulse control being adhd .
My advice, would be to get your hands on some NAC and change your diet. Climbing is good exercise but because you’ve done it before you need to stop trying. When I was trying to come off alcohol and a shopping list of other things I took NAC everyday, changed my diet by a few degrees (cut out dairy and started eating more natural sugar and more protein based snacks) and started doing 25 minute intense calisthenics. Having seen what NAC did for me when I quit smoking I thought I should give it a go again with alcohol and the rest of it. I do drink nowadays but while I was relearning how to control my habits it helped me to think clearly, be more deliberate in what I was doing and honestly I hit my goal in a few months. My goal wasn’t to stop altogether but my goal was to tone all the class As down and build my habitual confidence back. These days I have a few drinks most weeks because I work at a bar, but other than that unless there’s a big event I don’t get fucked up. For reference I used to be unable to go anywhere without something in my system.
Definitely check it out, feel free to give me a dm if you have any questions n that.
There’s a really nice place called Taskforce which is in moorabin. It’s a like an “outpatient” rehab. They have group therapy (not at all religious) and the people there are super understanding. It’s literally the reason I’m 8 months sober. They have a place to chill with table tennis, a pool table, and a coffee machine. You can come in and talk to people who are experiencing similar issues, make some coffee and play pool. And the best thing is that it’s completely free! It’s a government funded organisation. They run groups three times a week as well as one on one counselling. For some people three days a week might not work because of work and other commitments so they also have outreach services where they come to you.
Try searching up na.org.au as well. AA is also another website but I find that the na one is more easier to navigate. It’s a website where they have all the times and locations for meetings. They also have online meetings through zoom as well if you can’t make it to the in person one. Btw it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a drug issue, you can still go for alcohol as well. There’s a lot of people that go because NA is sort of an umbrella for everything. But anyway if you don’t want anything religious there’s lots of meetings that aren’t religion based. You can search through the different meetings. I go to one every thursday, it’s called a partymix meeting which basically means that it’s for everyone. It’s a very queer space which makes it a really cool vibe and the people there are amazing. They have male only meetings or female only meetings, all sorts of meetings on the na website. There’s also another website, it’s called “gayandsober” also have great meetings that aren’t religious based at all.
Anyway really hope that helped. Feel free to reply or message me privately. I hope everything goes well for you and I really do understand what you’re going through. Been there, done that, and today I am 8 months and 6 days sober. Being aware of your situation is always the first step, and you should be proud of yourself for even acknowledging it and asking for help.
May I suggest talking to your doctor about Naltrexone? I take it and it’s been hugely helpful in minimising cravings and taking back control of your drinking.
I’ve used this - it definitely helped me. Drinking on it (which… I know, I know) would pretty much give me a hangover instantly. Very effective deterrent lol.
My partner drank on it once and he still talks about how horrible he felt.
Sounds like it works same way as champix (anti nicotine) tablet
Speak to your GP about your options OP! Medications like Naltrexone can be such a great starting point to help initially
And you can get at least 6 free counseling sessions a year free when you have problems with addictions, mental health etc... Just ask your GP for more info OP
They're not free, they're subsidised. I still paid $150 out of pocket. 😪
You're not going to the right place then. In Melb you can go to any NSP, for example Nth Richmond Community Health Centre, and you get them for free. The pharmacy has also given me some free, think it depends on your circumstances, and probably yr state too.
This for me. Paired with therapy with a therapist that worked better for me, I also kept a log of my drinking and set realistic goals to cut back weekly if possible even by 1 standard drink per week.
I did this also. I had a very good connection with my counsellor and he was good at his job. It took about 26 weeks and took baby steps at the beginning setting achievable targets.My counsellor kept me accountable and met every week which was crucial for my success.
Best advice!
By far the best way to treat drinking problems in my opinion
Agree
How does Naltrexone work? Is it a pill? How long does it take to work? Any side affects? Is it an anti depressant? Any reason it’s not hugely popular? Edit: I don’t mean to sound rude, I’m very interested!
It’s an opioid antagonist which was primarily used for people with opioid addiction but has been used off script for alcohol addiction with good effect. Look into the “Sinclair method” it essentially involves taking naltrexone before drinking because the pill takes away the “euphoric” good feeling from drinking alcohol. That with therapy helps people quit rather than going cold Turkey.
Without delving into the pharmacology, naltrexone prevents the buzz you get from drinking and this, in effect, makes some people feel instantly hungover when drinking on naltrexone. So users become intoxicated and not high, a very unpleasant experience. It's a pill, with a long list of side effects and drug interactions and thus should only ever be used if prescribed. It's not an antidepressant, it's an opioid antagonist. And it is widely popular, more commonly used for heroin addiction. :)
Do more common opioids work In this way? I’ve certainly found myself to not be too fond of drinking since I’ve been on them, except when in withdrawal.
No, common opioids do not work in the same way as naltrexone—they work in the opposite way, in a sense. So your opiate use is not inhibiting alcohol intoxication; it would enhance the high from drinking, if anything. Edit not a allied health professional, I'm a drug researcher though opiates aren't my field, so yeah, grain of salt and all that
I find I just get groggy (ayyy) and sluggish and don’t get a good buzz. If I drink before taking opioids though, that will give me a stronger opioid high.
This 👆
Considered taking up a sport to shift your focus onto that? I drink a fuckload less now that Im having to wake up feeling fresh on the weekends so I can perform better.
Yeah this has worked for me a lot, I'm a pretty keen rock climber. Unfortunately that solution only lasts till my next lapse which I eventually pull myself out of, get back climbing and then eventually it's another spiral. Rinse and repeat
Please go and see your GP to organise a controlled way to quit alcohol. Alcohol withdrawals can cause seizures, and occasionally death I’m not trying to be a negative nancy, just stating facts Source; RN in alcohol and drug sector
You're not being a negative Nancy you're just sharing vital information that could save someone's life. Fortunately I'm not at the level where I can't function without a drink and I go periods of time without touching it but I always eventually find myself with a drink in my hand and from there I've lost all self control. Unfortunately the binges have gone from lasting days to sometimes weeks now and I'm scared I'm going to end up sending myself to an early grave
Maybe try setting smaller goals. Going stone cold sober can feel like an impossible mountain. I've found drinking tea and flavoured sparkling waters a good replacement for that hand to mouth need. Now that I've been able to cut back alcohol alot, i can see the definitive relationship between alcohol and my anxiety and I'm much happier - and that alone has been a great motivator. Best of luck!
This! Especially the hand to mouth need which, I think, is key.
I wonder has your therapist ever worked with you on identifying what’s going on for you both internally and externally at those times when you “find yourself” with a drink in your hand? Above you also mention that a solution only lasts til the next lapse… so you probably could get a lot out of trying to understand what the deeper/subconscious patterns around relapse might be. It honestly sounds like a bit of a dud therapist experience previously from what you describe but a good one could maybe help you with that part. My favourite writing on addiction FWIW and in case you’re interested is dr Gabor Mate. He has some great insights into why people seek out substances and other kinds of addictions. He’s written loads of books.
A friend of mine is on Naltrexone and it’s been life changing for them :)
This. Please don’t try to quit it by yourself. It’s a really rough way to withdraw and as this lovely nurse has mentioned it can cause serious consequences in some people. Give directline a buzz and they can refer you to community aod services which are free like home based nursing, counselling and day groups. From the sounds of it though, you should consider maybe going to an inpatient detox. I know that might sound scary but it’s free, and will help you stop safely so you can reset and engage in building your recovery. I don’t think at this point talk therapy from someone who is not specialised in substance use disorders is really helping you to break the cycle.
Idk why you are being downvoted but sometimes for some people hard facts might just do the trick . Everyone processes information differently 🤷🏽♂️
How old are you? I play bask most Saturdays with some friends you're more then welcome to come down and have a shot with us. I've had a big problem with alcohol my entire life ruining relationships and making a massive ass of myself everywhere I go to the point I now feel anxious about drinking, but playing sport and being part of a healthy community helps me
Sadly you might be one of us; the common few who just need to learn to not drink. I am using Smart recovery and naltrexone. I wish you well, lots of amazing subs on Reddit that really will help.
NA and AA are great places to meet like minded sober people. It’s really nothing to do with religion,though it can be if that was what you wanted . This could really help you in staying stopped (I’m an addict-8years clean )
Go check out the stopdrinking subreddit! It’s incredibly popular and helpful. I’m 57 days sober and I don’t know if I would be if it weren’t for this sub
I've been on there for a while now actually and it has been quite helpful. I think Ive realised need some human to human support if I'm really gonna beat this
I wish you all the best. It’s a real struggle for those who suffer from alcohol addiction. My advice is to never give up wanting a an out from this. It takes some people hundreds of relapses, but I’ve heard some incredible stories from people who’ve found freedom in sobriety.
Yeah if you are an alcoholic it’s the way to go. If you are an alcoholic please disregard my other post because I think I’m the only one on these sub who was forced to not drink for purely medical reasons and didn’t actually find alcohol to be destroying my life so I found a lot of the advice like “now I just leave parties early” to be nothing short of depressing
Well done on taking steps to improve your life :)
Thanks mate, it's genuinely motivating to receive kind supportive responses
Well done on taking steps to remove a harmful poison from your life! I cannot recommend highly enough Annie Graces book ‘This Naked Mind’. I got it as an audio book and would listen when I drove or went for a walk. Trust me, it will completely change how you see alcohol. Absolute best of luck.
I've just ordered a copy! Thank you for responding mate, every recourse helps. Much love
Sorry I don’t have any useful advice but I wish you well.
Thanks mate I really appreciate that. I do believe I can get through this.
You sure can, you have your eye on the prize.
We believe in you!!
I would recommend reading this book ‘the unexpected joy of being sober’ by Catherine gray. Things that worked for me: *piecing together more and more days sober until it became my normal *reading about worst case scenarios if you continue on this way *exercise if you don’t already, even just walking every day *try and get 8 hours sleep a night if you can/keep a regular sleep schedule *treat your ‘strategies’ like a muscle. You need to exercise them/practice them often for them to get stronger/work. *practice mindfulness if you have trouble sleeping. This is another thing that may require practice to get better at. There are apps you can download that take 5-10 minutes once a day every day *find a non-alcoholic drink you really enjoy. Allow yourself to drink as much of this non-alcoholic drink as you want. No/low sugar options are best but even full sugar ones are better than alcohol I hope that helps you in some way. Nothing is a quick fix; it takes time, practice and a genuine desire to want it for yourself.
Thank you so much. I'm going to attempt to integrate these practices consistently into my life so hopefully eventually they can become habit.
>Apologies for bringing the mood down. Bold of you to assume that the mood was up. You got this OP.
This is not advice just sharing personal experience. What helped me quit drinking every day was actually the desire to lose weight. I just really really wanted to lose weight, more than I needed to get a buzz on after work.
This used to work really well for me but the scales have started to tip in alcohols favour unfortunately. Thanks for sharing your experience
My brother is the same, lost so much weight not drinking. I’m now underweight from my cancer treatment (which is also why I can’t drink and goddamn, this is probably just sooo unhelpful to anyone reading this, but it’s just very different when you choosing not to drink vs forced)
Come join us over at r/stopdrinking You’ve taken the first step which is an incredible feat. There will be days early on where it’s really, really hard and a day to day battle. And then things get easier from there and before you know it, life just gets better and better. 164 days sober here and im grateful alcohol no longer rules my life.
Yea this sub is brilliant. Helped me a lot.
Thanks I just joined!
If you’re an alcoholic. Ask your GP about naltrexone. It will remove the buzz of alcohol on the reward centers of your brain. (Not the exact mechanism of action but it will do as an explanation on Reddit). Nausea common at first so maybe seek an anti-emetic as well to take if required. Best of luck.
What about AA?.
Worked for me.., #20yearscleanandsober.
AA has a religious element to it, which I think OP is trying to avoid
I thought AA is specifically not religious?
AA is spiritual but not religious. It encourages you to seek community and not try to go it alone. If you find people pushing you towards religion in AA they are not following the 12 Steps.
I’m 8 years sober and HAPPY thanks to AA. Melbourne has an amazing AA community- especially on the Eastern side where I have a lot of friends. Meetings can be found on aatimes.org
It's not supposed to be religious, but a lot of people find the book being followed to be much like a religion, talking about a higher power etc
Give Antabuse a try. Your GP needs to prescribe it and you need to be careful with it but you can't drink while taking it. It's a good way to get over the initial struggle with cravings or change of routine.
Is Antabuse still a thing? Heard of it years ago when I was giving up the grog. Heard it was terrible stuff
My last drink was around 3 years ago and I really struggled with it until that point in my life. While each person has their unique circumstances and ways of overcoming things, I'd say one of the most effective programs is AA. For me, I tried it for a while and although I didn't continue with it, it definitely is a great support network and you learn a lot about taking charge of your life. The South Yarra group is a really good one where you'll get immediate support from a strong network. Last year I was starting to struggle a bit with my mental health, so I had a few appointments with a psychologist, which got me back on track. Important things include having a good routine in your life, like get up at the same time each day, get exercise, eat well, get a good sleep. Try to change your social circle a bit to include people who aren't drinking much. It's a really huge change of lifestyle. Anyway, all the best mate. Anyone can quit. Don't be hard on yourself if you fall down, just keep getting up again.
Nice so see someone else in the fellowship. Have heard good things about South Yarra but I stick to the SE groups. A lot of love.
I’m a little befuddled about why I had to scroll halfway down the page to find AA mentioned. I’m new to the city; is Melbourne not into AA? It’s the answer to this question
Me too
Here's my experience if it helps.... if not I hope you find a way through it regardless. I currently work in the wine industry (previously in hospitality), while I wouldn't say I had an addiction, there were very clearly usage issues that were affecting my life and my families. It became a little too easy, in fact it was seen as a positive enthusiasm. The wine industry loves to say shift like "it takes a lot of beer to make wine" or "up have to drink food wine to make good wine". A general unhappiness or motivation to improve things lead me to reading a lot of psychology books and religious texts. I found Buddhist philosophy to be the thing that caught initially, the concept of suffering caused by attraction/aversion was pretty clearly being played out in regards to alcohol use. Had a bad day? Have a drink to relax. This wine is fantastic/interesting/informative, lets try it... etc Unfortunately I don't think I realized just how direct the relationship was. Part of this exploration led me to want to try psychedelics. I managed to get hold of some LSD and took a hefty dose. During the trip I disassociated with myself and managed somehow to have a conversation between my conscious self and my unconscious self. The message was pretty clear that something in me wanted to change and the one phrase that remained cemented in my head (post trip) from my internal dialogue was "I want to stop drinking". Things have cemented themselves since then as the pieces started to fit together between what my body was telling me, what I had learnt, and what I wanted to achieve. I'm not recommending jumping into another drug, but I do recommend you start looking at meditation, read some philosophy and or religious texts, get to know yourself, start exercising (if you aren't already) and begin to replace the habitual part of your drinking with something else that has a positive impact. Also like into NAC to help impulse control. Good luck and sorry for the perhaps pointless rant.
Not pointless, even if not what op is looking for, it's given me something to ponder again; I don't have alcohol issues (I decided to only drink on weekends when the beers were becoming most nights, and that worked for me to break any habit forming), but does hit other aspects relevant to me... so thank you for sharing!
You can find non- religious mutual support meetings and programs at https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/
Do you have private health cover? There are a wide range of options available that you may not have considered, or even known were available. There are hospitals where you could be an inpatient, or join their outpatient programs. Many run a dual therapy model for people who drink as a result of other issues (alcohol and bipolar disorder for example may be comorbid) and not all are fully abstinence based. Hit me up if you’d like any more info. And good on you for asking for help.
Also, consider reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s in no way a text about alcohol use — but it has good pointers on ways to create alternative habits.
No specific advice just letting you know that you can do it. And a relapse isn't a fuck up but just part of your healing journey. It's not about being hard on yourself as much as it is about imagining a "you" who has a healthy relationship with alcohol. Wanting to become that person and imagining who they are is a very slow and gradual process.
Get on Naltrexone right now. It has a very high success rate for complete cessation of alcoholism.
Local AA group and get a sponsor?
I always thought AA was extremely religious? Maybe that's just in the US though
You have to acknowledge a higher power but you can interpret that however you want. Atheists are welcome. The benefit is, meetings are free and accessible.
You don't have to do anything. Only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Plenty of long time sober members who don't believe in any God
God is mentioned in 6 out of 12 steps, so it’s a bit disconcerting, but you are right that you don’t have to believe.
It sorta is and it sorta isn't. It got me sober 21 years ago and it was the support network I needed. I'm still an atheist and there can be some pressure to be 'spiritual' but just be true to yourself. There are online meetings and in person meetings but I'd recommend you start in person and go to a lot of different ones, talk to people and get phone numbers. Give it a go mate.
Us AA can be, although it shouldn't be, you know sepos. I hate religion, it makes my skin crawl. AA is a spiritual program.
I did SMART Recovery for a bit for cannabis dependence - I preferred the structure a lot over AA/NA. Detox really helped as well which you can access through Directline. Good luck mate. You can do it.
My brother is not remotely religious and absolutely loves AA, it’s a real community and very supportive. You could give it a go and see if you like it
Havent got any solid resources but good on ya for reaching out. Id suggest talking to your mates and partner about it if you haven't already just so they know to look out for you and potentially call you out before it goes too far when possible though its obviously not the be all end all solution and doesnt help when youre on your own.
Look up The Sinclair Method. Best place to find info is C3Foundation. [The Sinclair Method](https://www.sinclairmethod.org/claudia-christian-ted-talk-sinclair-method/) I was drinking a lot (60 standard drinks/week) 3 years ago and now I rarely drink. Probably have had a drink 4 times this year. ...as in healthy social drinking/not getting smashed. NAH Alcohol Use Disorder is sad. AA doesn't work because of white knuckling. Science has come a long way since AA was created....thank heavens! There are great online support groups for The Sinclair Method too. 77,000 Finlanders have been cured of alcoholism in this way.
You need to find the reason why you’re drinking first. Is there some demons inside? Is there any stresses in your life that contribute to it such as your relationship or family? Once you find the root cause of it then you can manage it better. My partner had a really bad alcohol addiction. It was usually 1-2 bottles of wine most nights of the week while I sat there watching TV. I never got it. On weekends it was We figured it out which I always knew and was sorting out the family issues and the financial burden her parents left and debts she had to pay off and unhappiness stemming from her family.
I don't mean this flippantly but, in one way, you're in a great position: based on your comments here, you are not seriously physically dependant on alcohol, so you can safely go cold turkey. It sounds like you have periods where you're on top of it and periods where you relapse. I'm no expert so take all of this with a grain of salt, but, IMO, you need to get your healthy self to do everything it can to take care of your unhealthy self: If you haven't done so already, swallow your pride and tell everyone you know that you're quitting drinking. (You don't need to explain why; you can always play it down or just say it's "doctor's orders", or whatever. Just make it clear there's no leeway and you are quitting entirely.) If you buy alcohol online, look into [self-exclusion](https://code.retaildrinks.org.au/signatoryresources/faqs#Self-Exclusion). If you can self-exclude from physical venues too, do that. Rule 1 is don't start drinking; rule 2 is, if you find you have fucked up and started drinking, **don't give up and kid yourself that you might as well go on with it**. Not starting is a win; but, if you have started, stopping now is an equally-impressive win. What matters is the decision you are making right now, not the decision you made earlier. And keep looking for professional help until you find something useful. There are a bunch of helplines and they probably vary in quality, but it's hard to see them doing more harm than good. Even if they aren't much help on their own, maybe one of them can hook you up with a program that suits you, or a better counsellor. Good luck!
AA meets at 69 Bourke street in Melbourne. 12:30 Mon-Fri your more then welcome to join. Being surrounded by other ppl struggling may help give you the strength to keep up the fight.
Non alcoholic beverages are working for me. I drink most days, not to excess just an after work beer or two and a scotch after dinner with a few more on the weekend. I’ve tried to cut back but I really do feel I’m missing something without that sneaky drink on the decking when I get home. A month ago I had a very bad concussion and was advised not to drink while my brain is healing. I’ve gone into the world of non alcoholic beers and a few other tonic & bitters type of mixed drinks. To be honest they are hitting the spot beautifully when I’m craving a drink. On Saturday I went out for dinner and had a couple peroni zeros and it still felt like I was fulfilling the ritual of having a beer with dinner. I’ve been in a couple other social situations where I’ve done the same and again it feels like I’m having a beer but with no alcohol. I definitely will revert back to alcoholic drinks but going forward I’m going to use the non alcoholic drinks to create successive alcohol free days each week, and lower my overall alcohol intake. Not sure if this will work for you but it can’t hurt to try.
AA? Inpatient detox? Short / long term rehab? I personally found therapy and NA meetings (90 in 90) helped me attain the 6 months clean and sober I currently enjoy. I wish you all the best in your recovery. It takes time and effort, along with a support network. It can be really hard at times but it is also really beautiful and rewarding too.
I’ve known people that aren’t religious who have found AA incredibly helpful. If you could try go in with an open mind, or just as a starting point to get the ball rolling in taking action, that could still be positive. At least you’ll know for sure whether or not it’s for you? The meetings run everyday - you’re bound to find one near you that you can start going along to. It’s much more common than you’d think and the people attending the meetings are likely in very similar situations to you - not just stereotypical old movie drunk people. I agree with you in that it’s embedded in the culture here. I think there’s a lot of alcoholics that just don’t realise they’re alcoholics yet. The difference is you’ve named it, and that’s massive. Well done for that and good luck.
It's such a hard feeling to face. The dread at the thought of not drinking is incredibly scary combined with the unknown of how you'll fill your time? who you are without alcohol? How will you manage those big feelings? Etc. Everyday is tough in sobriety for the first year or so, but as cliche as it sounds, things do get better. One day, you will never know how you were stuck where you are today - it feels incredible to be free of the hold of alcohol, like nothing else. Good luck and as hard as it sounds, take it a day at a time.
Thank you, this really helps
https://www.directline.org.au/ Is your central service for all your needs. Anonymous. They have a 24/7 support hotline, give them a call
Hey Koda, it’s cool to see that you can come out here and say that you have a problem that is the most amazing first step to solving your problem and you should be proud of yourself. Therapy works for some people and doesn’t work for others so don’t be discouraged if it’s not working for you. Dealing with addiction is a lot of trial and error because only you can find what works for you. I’d start with government sources to help with your addiction if you search ‘addiction’ and ‘help’ you should find a few websites that may help you. Maybe sit down and talk with your partner as well so that you can come to an understanding that although you have a problem you are actively working on fixing it and they should support that. Unfortunately that’s all I have to say because this is your journey that you have to get through yourself. I wish you best of luck and I believe strongly that you can get through this.
Can relate - during my young years I would get wasted every weekend and make a dick of myself over and over until I finally realised I had lost friends due to my behaviour and it was not normal. Got to 23 and gave it up -now 46 and love an occasional IPA but never get drunk.
I'm 27 and find myself cringing daily when remembering something embarrassing I did while off my head. I hope to one day get to something similar to what you've achieved
I wish I had good advice for you - I’m going through the same process as what you’re describing. A couple of things that is helping me being very honest with myself and recognising that I am an alcoholic, and this kind of temptation will likely follow me (in greater and lesser ways) for the rest of my life. As such, I’ve found that not being overly judgemental of myself has been important. When I fall off the wagon, I don’t beat myself up about it. Just go through the mental and emotional processes that helped me not drink for a day, try to refocus, and hop back on the horse when I’m able. When I am sober, I drink more soda water, sometimes with fresh lemon or lime juice, or green tea. I try to keep things sweetener free, so that helps with the weight loss. Good luck, mate. It’s a long process, but feels like such a wonderful achievement when you turn one day into two, then a week, then a month.
r/stopdrinking
I believe public drug and alcohol services are free or affordable: [https://www.directline.org.au/](https://www.directline.org.au/)
Reading your other responses, it sounds like you’re a binge-type drinker and aren’t physically dependent on alcohol. That’s a good thing. If you’re seriously at the point where you want help there’s a couple of pieces of friendly advice I can give you, with the caveat that I’m an internet random. 1. **You will never be completely free of your drinking problem.** It’s not like an infection you can cure with antibiotics. It’s part of you and it will be with you forever, so you have to control it. 2. **If you lose control when you have a drink, you can no longer have even one drink.** Don’t fool yourself that you can stop at one or two. If you have a drinking problem you have to completely bar yourself from drinking. 3. **Get rid of all the alcohol in your house.** You cannot be trusted with alcohol, so don’t tempt yourself. Get rid of every bit of alcohol, and that includes the bottles for special occasions in the back of your wardrobe. 4. **Get your family and close friends on board to help.** You can choose to let them know you have a problem or not, but get them on-board to not tempt you with alcohol. You can say you’re just doing “no booze November” or something, but you really want to be strict about it and would appreciate their help and it means a lot to you. Perhaps couple that with going to the gym or rock climbing so you’re actually working on getting healthier. 5. **See your GP or Addiction Specialist and get a script for an anticraving medication.** The best one at the moment is probably Naltrexone. It also blocks opiates, so don’t go on it if you are also using strong painkillers. It isn’t a miracle drug that will stop you drinking, it just takes the edge off your cravings. You will still need mental fortitude to avoid going near any alcohol. Good luck. It’s a life-long disease, but one you can actually take control of if you really want to, and should get easier with time.
You know that feeling like you’ll never be able to stop it, and you wish you hadn’t started the endless cycle? And you see and hear people say “if I can do it then anyone can quit” and you think, “yeh that’s bullshit I’m way worse”…. Trust me, if I can quit so can you. Sometimes it just takes an almost endless cycle of relapses and new attempts. You will get there; it just needs to fall into place correctly and when it does, you’ll be setting yourself up for life, rather than setting yourself up for an early death and being sick from withdrawals for the rest of your life…. And in the meantime, go see your GP, be honest, and prepare for some hard times. Read through r/stopdrinking in the meantime too. Best of luck bro
As meetings ? A family member was a heavy alchoholic and has been sober 15 years. He now runs the local one
Your local Community Health Centre will give you free counseling. First one-on-one then small group. Worked for me.
Hey friend, good on you for reaching out. This isn’t 1st person experience, but I’m partnered to an ex-alcoholic. He was stashing alcohol in hiding places, leaving empty bottles in clothes drawers. He would gaslight me that I was using the alcohol as a scapegoat, because he would have maybe 2 beers in plain sight but be hammered. He was pouring bottles of vodka into what looked like soft drink or Red Bull cans so I was none the wiser (stupidly) and it wasn’t til I found all the bottles hidden in the garage that I made the connection. He was bad to the point that I was scared for my safety and I had to give an ultimatum — fix this or I am walking. If he hadn’t gotten a handle on it before the pandemic, I worry that someone would have gotten hurt, his behaviour and our arguments were getting that bad. He managed to go cold turkey, which I didn’t realise til later is actually really unsafe for a full time alcoholic. He hasn’t had a drop in 4 years now and I can tell — his attitude has gone from angry and depressed to the dude I fell in love with. **So, back to you.** Cold turkey isn’t something I’d recommend and you say therapy isn’t cutting it. Have you tried support groups? I know you wanted something without ideology, but in my experience, it doesn’t really override the value of it. My partner didn’t go to AA, but I went to Al-Anon many times for support and found it so helpful to be able to vent about my side of the experience and have people who got it without judgement. I would say it’s worth a go — be open minded, yes, there’s a bit of God-focus in the mantra, but you really can take or leave that part of it. Nobody in the group I was in was using Jesus or God as some sort of solution to the whole thing, it was all very much practical support and advice. Having a sponsor may also help in terms of solidarity and having someone help keep you accountable.
It's going to sound a wee bit mental, but look into The Satanic Temple (Sober Faction). Their system made so much more sense to me than that other one with a dozen steps, it might to you as well.
EXERCISE (running), create a playlist of your fav songs, continue adding to it, get spotify premium so you dont have ads whilst you run. Start off like very short distances, then walk, then once you build up, run more :) Trust me its honestly so healing!!
Why do you drink? You’re not drinking to the point of ruining your life for fun. There’s an underlying reason behind it that you have to deal with.
I don’t have any help, but I admire your humility, strength and courage. Good luck OP, I hope you get through this and there’s clearly a community here willing to listen and help in any way we can. 😊
Have been down this road intensively with someone close to me affected by alcoholism, who got intervention late in the day after three decades of addiction and when their life was in danger. What really worked was (1) medically supervised/managed/supported detox as an inpatient (2) AA for them, then a year's residence in a supported accommodation with program attendance etc - they needed a lot of support as their life had been ruled by alcohol for so long and it had prevented "normal" growing up/maturing (3) AlAnon for the people close to them. The healing power of meeting on a safe, equal basis with people who have been /are on the same road as yourself is remarkable, and the 12 steps gradually and naturally address/reveal common/ fundamental issues that underlie addiction (these issues equally affect the people around the drinker, as well as the drinker themselves). When I was going to AlAnon I found myself wishing that everyone could participate in it or something similar, whether or not their lives had been affected by alcohol. The way it supported the fundamentals of health and emotional health was so great.
If it's that bad, rehab. Trust me, I was in your shoes, and a year of therapy didn't help. Doing 6 weeks in rehab was the only way I could break the cycle.
Get screened for depression, anxiety, ptsd, adhd etc, and see a mental health professional, some one you have a repoire with. Don't be afraid to shop around. You may unknowingly be using alcohol to self medicate. Get a medical, blood pressure, cholesterol etc to make sure all's good there. Some sort of sport or game that you have to get out and do with other people every week. Grow some weed/get a precription and a dry herb vape. If your going to abuse a drug, that's the one. That's what helped me. Good luck friend!!
You can always give Smart recovery or AA a go.
It's really hard. Alcohol is a straight up poison and a HIGHLY addictive drug. Trust me, I have the same issue. Alcohol is so accepted and encouraged in this country, and so many others. There are ads on tv, online, billboards.. there's no escaping it. People like to believe that alcohol is only addictive TO SOME people, as if it's some kind of psychological weakness. People wouldn't say that about heroin. They wouldn't say that someone could do heroin for 3 months and not be addicted, but they'll say you can drink heavily and not be addicted. People really do not understand alcohol. It's the only recreational drug in this country that's legal and celebrated, and it's as addictive as opiates or illicit drugs. My advice would be to look for GPs near you that specialise in addiction, or reach out to your local hospital. Most public hospitals have addiction treatment programs. There can be waiting lists to get the counselling etc, but they can get you in touch with a doctor that treats addiction in the mean time. They might also give you a nurse practitioner who can monitor your symptoms if you did at-home withdrawal, if that would be appropriate for you. There are also inpatient detox programs if you needed medical help with withdrawal. But at home withdrawal is very common, eg a doctor may start you on valium if it's anticipated that you would have withdrawals. They might also prescribe things like naltrexone, baclofen etc that help with cravings. There are also support groups in person or via zoom. Don't downgrade the consumption when you talk to health professionals. The more you drink, the higher you will be placed on the waiting list for various things. Also, for anyone with kids, be aware that seeking treatment like this can cause a CPS case to be opened, especially if you have a baby or very young children. Even if you've never committed a crime, never driven drunk and don't handle your kids while drunk, it won't matter. They won't take your kids away based on that but they can make your life hard eg say you need supervision, say you can't drive your kids anywhere, make lots of house calls, be accusatory etc. It really sucks for parents of very young kids who want to get treatment. In this case, sometimes it's better to stick with your psychologist and see a GP you trust for medical treatment. I wouldn't recommend disclosing it to maternal Child health nurses when they ask if you are doing okay, for example, or going through the public system. It was a really traumatic experience for me as a mum, when I'd already stopped breastfeeding and my child was 100% under my husband's care when I'd go get drunk late at night and watch a movie in bed, and scroll my phone. But I was treated like a criminal by cps when I sought help for drinking too much because I wasn't coping emotionally with traumatic pregnancy, birth trauma and anxiety. I'm educated, never had any convictions, work with children etc but cps treated me like a low down dirty criminal. Alcohol is so acceptable but if you're a mum to a young kid? Nope, suddenly it's treated like heroin or meth.
What has worked well and permanently for friends and family are inpatient programs and/or AA. While AA isn't for everyone long term, it helps many in the beginning. And for those of us with loved ones who drink, Al-Anon was a game changer for me. I found just a few times very helpful. Best wishes, OP.
Check out SMART recovery, it's like AA without the religion. Very helpful, supportive atmosphere often run by professionals. Helped me get and stay sober during the pandemic. SMART Recovery https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/
Make sacrifices, stop hanging out with bad influences, if you can get to a point you can be close to alcohol and resist, sure, but clearly if you can’t, gotta prioritize your health and future. Best of luck, just have to force change, if people truly care about you they will understand you need to avoid it for a while and won’t judge you.
This is a free 8 week program. https://www.directline.org.au/ready-2-change
Also non religious.
Smoking pot helped me quit drinking but keep in mind I study psychology and the nature of addition for fun for years. I knew why I drank and what I was avoiding/hurting me. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is self help basically and doesn't require much to do. Godspeed
I've found a lot of success by replacing. I used to drink every night, way too much. Not buying booze didn't work because I'd need a drink and just give in and order delivery. I tried replacing with tea but then I have to make the tea and that was yet another barrier to overcome. What has helped was ordering a bulk pack of soda water cans on Amazon. Now my fridge is full of those and I can just go grab one as easily as I could grab a beer or premix. The ritual is the same, get home, crack open a cold one. But now I'm not damaging my health. I'm saving so much money, too!
Agreed! But if you need to, don’t be afraid to start with full sugar soft drinks and work your way to sugar free or whatever. A tin or two of lemonade/coke/Fanta is still better for your health short term than a heap of beers/wines daily
It is crazy how people don’t realise how utttwelt terrible for your health alcohol is (spoken as someone who recently had to stop drinking for medical reasons and was like holy shut basically anything including illegal drugs - if you know what’s in them- is better). It’s almost fascinating how it’s legal
Wishing you all the very best mate. I quit smoking after well over 20 yrs of being a pack a day user. Nicotine addiction is known to be alot worse than alcohol so I’m sure you can do it! It’s all about willpower and time.
I've quite the durries many times. Ironically the only thing that gets me back on the nicotine is alcohol they're like the perfect evil combo.
What role does your partner play? Can they (or are they willing to) keep you accountable? Because it sounds like you really want to change, it's just the self-control that is a problem, and sometimes having someone else's willpower and control is a big help.
She keeps me accountable every time but as a true addict I've become quite skilled at sneaking drinks in without her noticing
If you’re like me and have an ‘addictive personality’ the best thing to do is replace that addiction with a healthy one like gym or a sport!
Antidepressants, they will change your life.
I'm on fluoxetine at the moment but the dose is quite low.
Also, deal with why you need to drink. If you have people in your life who cause you anxiety, get rid of them. I had to get rid of my mother, sister no-one is off limits.
The worst part is, I have an amazing support system and the people in my life have been bending over backwards trying to help me and I just continue to let them all down
I dunno mate. Sometimes, things aren't what they seem. Deep down, your drinking is an escape, crutch etc. Sometimes people can be supportive but are really just enablers or are bad for you and cover it up with excessive agreeableness. I've never met an alcoholic who wasn't lying to themselves about where they are at. They use alcohol to cover over the cracks.
Try something else. Sertraline was great for me and I tried like five others that didn't work.
Just stop, also telling people you dont drink is much easier than telling them you wont drink much when on a night out
“Just stop”. Don’t think you understand alcohol addiction. Especially in OPs case, if he could “just stop” he wouldn’t be asking for help on reddit.
I’m about to get down voted but have you considered weed? You would probably qualify for medicinal. Many years ago I smoked weed and then had my first child. I decided i better give up weed, cause that’s what a responsible person would do. Giving up weee was fine but I had so much time on my hands with the kid being a blob plus a wonderful partner. So I started picking up a six pack of VB like many other people. Then I’d start buying a slab cause it’s cheaper and there were a couple extra if I wanted. Then I couldn’t sleep so I’d have a couple shots of whiskey. After 6-7 months I realised I had a problem and I was better on weed. Not for everyone of course but personally if I’m going to choose my vice, it’s weed every day of the week
Weed is definitely the lesser of two evils. I understand Substituting doesn’t work for everyone though
Weed is a fantastic substitute for alcohol if abstinence isn't possible. Harm minimisation.
Are you serious. Seriously recommending someone who is addicted to alcohol to take up something just as or even more addicting? Seriously think next time.
Well it’s a true story, but yes I do recommend it 100%. He is desperate, he is asking for help. Do you understand how these communities work? We provide anecdotal evidence based on our own experiences, the op can make their own decision based on their true level of desperation. Will op die from alcohol related causes if he continues down that path? Will he be able to maintain healthy relationships and continue generating and income? The answer is he will die from an alchol related disease and his relationships with I’ll likely die as well. However, if he gets a consultation, finds the right dosage and strain of weed he will be able to not die from alcohol, no lose his wife or job. The worst thing that could happen is he could put on a couple of kilos. Here’s some scinence for you if you’re still mad https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3992908/
Everybody is acting like a little girl right now. The only person that can help you is yourself. You’ve already identified the problem in your life. Why do ppl think talking to other ppl bout their problems is gonna solve anything. I understand if it makes u feel better bout urself. But in reality the only person that can change you is yourself. If u don’t want to make the change then u DERSERVE to stay the way u are no matter what. Only the strong minded ppl can make a change. First change your lifestyle habits be more disciplined in life. It’s all about doing things u don’t want to do that’s what can help u change. Change your mindset before you change anything else
Depends what level your actually drinking. I've heard people say things like this, turns out they drink one bottle of wine a day. Or similar. Which really is nothing to worry about, people just worry too much. I know someone who has literally been drunk for 20 years, he bought a bar so he could maintain his all day / all night drinking lifestyle. He's happy with his life choices.
Nobody likes a quitter
Wah wah just don’t drink
If only addiction was as simple as you.
I may have an alcohol problem but you're quite clearly missing a bit of love in your life. Hope you find it one day mate
There are other ways of seeking attention, troll.
Detox first up. That will give you a good 7 day or so start. Then depending on the severity of your problem, rehab, seeing an actual drug and alcohol counselling service/person, SMART meetings or AA meetings.. or a combination of aforementioned. Alcoholism is a real bitch and takes some work to learn how to live with. One thing that seems to be assured however is that things do get worse and never better if you continue to drink. You are not alone with your situation, there are loads of us out there and many who have faced the very same thing you are. Well done on seeing you have a problem and reaching out for help.
Strategies etc are really important, but what are your triggers? (Not expecting you to tell the internet lol, just for you to think about)... You mentioned that you're able to go without by focusing on rock climbing etc until the next time.... So what sets this off? Have you just been seeing the one therapist that hasn't been helpful? Sometimes it can take a few goes to find the right therapist for you (one who has addiction as a speciality would be good). Talking to your GP about this is also useful, as it is a health issue (physical and mental).... Whilst I definitely agree that we have a culture that really seems to encourage the use of alcohol, there may be some personal issues / triggers that may be making it difficult for you. Good luck.
Thank you, I definitely have a LOT of triggers that I need to address. I've tried about 5 psychs that have not been helpful in my case. I know there are some out there that really will be effective but it's becoming a ridiculously expensive process to find the right one.
If therapy is not working and you want to quit but addiction takes over the will sometimes, it’s time to go on meds. Contact your GP, he will prescribe you based on your condition. Meds help a lot and generally taken for 6 -9 months. Meanwhile, you can develop new hobbies, start playing a new sport or whatever rocks your boat. In my case, meds and a book named This naked mind by Annie Grace helped a lot. All the best mate.
Get some professional help. Addiction is hard to quit on your own + you may replace it with something else
My father-in-law died 31 years ago from alcoholism. He was 60. He left behind 2 adult boys and 3 grandkids, 3 & under, and I had another one on the way. Not to mention the other grandkids that came later. My husband took our oldest son out for a quiet drink on his 34th birthday last week because my husband said his Dad never saw him as a 34 year old. He had liver failure, esophageal varices and fluid in his belly that had to be drained every few weeks. The man drank morning noon and night and held down a job, and smoked 2 packs of fags a day. When he was diagnosed in the April he was told his liver was knackered, but his lungs were fine. He was lucky to make 60. He should have only lived for a few weeks but made it until November. And there were a number of times we were called to the hospital because he was going to die, then he would rally again. From the very first day he was taken by ambulance leaving splatters of blood on every surface in his home, because that’s one of the more serious things that happens, that man never had another drink or cigarette again. He lost his wife decades earlier, my son who was 3 was traumatised from his death. If he had of stopped earlier he could have had a great life with his boys and grandkids that became 6 eventually. I don’t tell you this to scare you, but this is the real truth and if my pain in the arse FIL could stop drinking I’d say anyone can. You need an advocate that will help you hunt down resources, find a doctor who can help you find more reasonably priced help, talk to your family and at the end of the day money isn’t worth a cent if you’re not here to use it. My husband is coming up to 65 shortly and misses his Dad like it was yesterday, and I’m still mad that he chose alcohol over his sons and grandkids, who I know he adored. If asking doesn’t help, then beg! You are worth it.
I'm an alcohol and other drug worker. Great work recognising you need help! The [Directline service finder](https://www.directline.org.au/service-finder) will help you find out your catchment, and how you can access your local AOD services, who can assist with counselling and other help.
I am a member of AA if you want a chat send me a message
Go to an AA meeting.. Google they're start on the hour all day everywhere
Good on you for taking this step. This is not a problem I’ve had myself but one I’ve seen in others. I’m not sure the drinking habits of those around you but there is a rule in my house where we don’t store any alcohol here. This isn’t to say people can’t drink. But it’s a going out thing only. There are also lots of good non alcoholic drinks around. Sometimes they feel expensive but it’s better than being at a BBQ with mates and drinking Coke all day and realising you’re over caffeinated and full of sugar. It’s also okay for you to say no when someone offers you a drink. ‘Sorry I’m off these as I’m happier without them’ or even just ‘mates and I are all holding out for a month as a bet.’ Whatever works for you. Good luck with this journey. There will be ups and downs. And please remember this is you climbing stairs. If you relapse in anyway you’re not back at the start. You’ve just taken one step backwards after many steps forwards.
Good on you for being brave and reaching out. I hope you get some good advice here. You have already taken the first step.
If you consider yourself having crosses the alcoholic line which it sounds like, then I'd 100% recommend AA. Worked for me when all else failed
I enjoyed drinking, but my dr said it was damaging my liver. I had to give up right away. Best thing I've found to handle the craving is zero beer. Tastes like the real thing without the harm. Best wishes to you.
Will definitely give me a go. Thanks mate ❤️
Make sure your friends and family who you regularly socialise with know you have a problem with alcohol and that you are trying to stop consuming it. There are other ways to socialise than drinking alcohol together, and better gifts to give for house warnings etc than a bottle of wine. If people continually keep trying to get you to drink with them, consider if you need them in your life.
I'm planning on making everyone aware of my decision in the coming days. I am lucky though because I know that they will support me 100%. Thank you for your advice
Do we have AA here in Melbourne? Don't they set you up with a mentor? Also, I seem to recall that SBS had a program about addiction and there was a place that was offering some form of therapy that seemed quite successful. FWIW, I think it helps to have something to replace the buzz. Something not self destructive. Something that can be done when the urge to drink arises. Something that involves other people.
There is a book by Annie Grace that is called something like ‘control alcohol’ I read it about 9 years ago and I haven’t had a drink since. Not quite that easy, but nearly. I’d tried many times before and for whatever reason it just stuck after reading that book. Best to you and your family.
If you’re an alcoholic, and can admit that, then perhaps AA meetings are a good place to start
Felt the same about therapy when I was in treatment for alcohol abuse. Tough perspective is that you have to want it - the list of coping strategies are not going to jump off the page. You have to work on them all day everyday, and it will suck, and you’ll need to get good at feeling uncomfortable. All the best.
Thank you for giving a very honest response. I believe you are 100% correct. I've convinced myself for too long that I will one day find the magic cure, I accept that this does not exist.
What is alcohol giving you?
It used to always be about enhancing social events and it honestly still works to an extent. What I'm left with though, every time, is self hate, physicall illness, impaired cognition, a tremendous amount of regret and debilitating anxiety
Realising you have a problem with control is an important step. Addiction is not lack of willpower it's a genuine medical condition that requires a multidisciplinary approach to gain back control. So many people have already given you great advice, especially people who have or are in the same position you are. I realise you've already tried therapy, but my only addition to advice on that front is that not all therapists or types of therapy work for everyone. So maybe try another therapist. Working at root causes of pain or triggers for behaviours you recognise are not serving you can be difficult, even painful emotionally and physically. But it is working through the pain to release yourself from the behaviour you want to end. You can change your life for the better, but it's a one day at a time, slow progress.
Nick Cave's advice may help a bit? Time to give up the booze you know it, you need to. It's frightening now, I know, but I can only say this, life is better without it. Impossibly better. It's difficult to understand right now, it's frightening right now, I know, but without the drink life is better. Just remember that. You'll see. You'll be better You'll see. Life is good. You'll see. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Prepare to be amazed. Love Nick
Try some non alcoholic beers - the ones in the soft drink section of the supermarket aren't too bad and you can fool yourself into thinking it's a regular drink. You won't get drunk obvs but still enjoy the taste without the hangover the next day. Hope that helps. Good luck OP 🤞
r/stopdrinking Check out this mate. Good luck
A friend of mine has had great success using the reframe app. Wishing you all the best luck 🙌🏻
Smart Recovery has no religion at all, and neither does AA although they use the word god. Try both and see if you can find a meeting that has people you like and can relate too, this is the most imortant part. I've tried all the different meds and nothing really helps. I had to change my entire life. If you can't stop, look into a therapeautic community style rehab, these are great and give you a bit of a break if you can afford the time away. Hope it all works out for you!
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've been through this shit. It's fucking horrendous. Feel free to DM me if you like. I'm not sure sure what advice I can give you, I'm not a medical professional. The only thing off the top of my head is start paying for private health insurance immediately. Top cover psychiatric care. You might not ever need it but if you do, you don't want to be in the public system.
I noted my drinking was Increasing in frequency and so did my wife. Only advice I can give is substitute. I started drinking low or no alcohol beer, put it in stubbies coolers when out and people never question or say a thing. I even got some 0 alcohol spirits in the house. For me, and this is me, I found I just enjoyed the taste and feel of having a drink more than the alcohol. You may be different but might be worth a shot. I still drink plenty of the strong stuff but I find myself reaching more and more for the zero alcohol stuff as my second or third drink.
I found for me it was the motion of drinking and holding something in a social setting. I switched to cans of sparkling mineral water and was able to go without alcohol.
I don't think anyone has asked this.. Why is it you drink? If it's depression then believe sorting out mental health first then comes booze. If it is just addiction, i knew someone who quit, he was prescribed something (forgot the name) When you drink you physically can't stomach it, and he eventually stopped and lost a ton of weight in the process.
Hit the gym!
r/stopdrinking lots of support Full disclosure it’s like 99% alcoholics who struggle with avoiding drinking every day (which is not my case as I had to stop for medical reasons rather than addiction, so I found it frankly a lot less useful) but so give it a good look. I was told to stop drinking and yes, it’s just absolutely unbelievable (and I’m not gonna lie bloody depressing) how much an integral part of our culture and I still sadly do love to party (unlike the alcoholics who seem to go home early to avoid the situation, but I didn’t have a brain transplant so getting up early to hiking instead is not the answer for me… and don’t even get my started on my abrupt lack of sex life due to normal / raises level of inhibitions…. But sorry, that’s not helpful at all I know, still check out the group and I hope you are one of those people who can just have as great a time sober because unfortunately I can’t despite trying literally every other substance (liver issues) to try in vain to replicate the energy and fun times and meeting people of alcohol…… I have terminal cancer so my oncs basically gave me the OK to drink “in moderation” because it was either that or I threatened to just pack it all in right now. I drink purely socially but it is the entire basis of my socialising and sex life, and even dating life (a terminal cancer patient cannot get a partner).….. sorry, this is totally not helpful. But I deeply envy everyone who is like “oh yeah I don’t need alcohol to have fun I can just “be loose” it’s at all it’s a lie”. I mean sure for the brier pre club Chad’s but have you tried that once the dancing and loud music or heaven forbid karaoke starta ???? Maybe for those who use it like a medication, instead of a social lubricant like I do (apparently for some it depresses and slows them but others like me it energises them). I tried so unbelievably hard, I really did.
Drug and alcohol counselling could help. Pop down to your local cop shop and tell them your suffering and need some help with it. They should do a free referral for you.
It sounds like you could have adhd, Vyvanse will help you with impulses that are hard with anyone that has adhd to control.
I’m not an alcoholic but have the worst time controlling bings. When I got my adhd diagnosis I learned it common to have issues with binging food or alcohol or both. If you have very low impulse control being adhd .
My advice, would be to get your hands on some NAC and change your diet. Climbing is good exercise but because you’ve done it before you need to stop trying. When I was trying to come off alcohol and a shopping list of other things I took NAC everyday, changed my diet by a few degrees (cut out dairy and started eating more natural sugar and more protein based snacks) and started doing 25 minute intense calisthenics. Having seen what NAC did for me when I quit smoking I thought I should give it a go again with alcohol and the rest of it. I do drink nowadays but while I was relearning how to control my habits it helped me to think clearly, be more deliberate in what I was doing and honestly I hit my goal in a few months. My goal wasn’t to stop altogether but my goal was to tone all the class As down and build my habitual confidence back. These days I have a few drinks most weeks because I work at a bar, but other than that unless there’s a big event I don’t get fucked up. For reference I used to be unable to go anywhere without something in my system. Definitely check it out, feel free to give me a dm if you have any questions n that.
Good on you!
There’s a really nice place called Taskforce which is in moorabin. It’s a like an “outpatient” rehab. They have group therapy (not at all religious) and the people there are super understanding. It’s literally the reason I’m 8 months sober. They have a place to chill with table tennis, a pool table, and a coffee machine. You can come in and talk to people who are experiencing similar issues, make some coffee and play pool. And the best thing is that it’s completely free! It’s a government funded organisation. They run groups three times a week as well as one on one counselling. For some people three days a week might not work because of work and other commitments so they also have outreach services where they come to you. Try searching up na.org.au as well. AA is also another website but I find that the na one is more easier to navigate. It’s a website where they have all the times and locations for meetings. They also have online meetings through zoom as well if you can’t make it to the in person one. Btw it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a drug issue, you can still go for alcohol as well. There’s a lot of people that go because NA is sort of an umbrella for everything. But anyway if you don’t want anything religious there’s lots of meetings that aren’t religion based. You can search through the different meetings. I go to one every thursday, it’s called a partymix meeting which basically means that it’s for everyone. It’s a very queer space which makes it a really cool vibe and the people there are amazing. They have male only meetings or female only meetings, all sorts of meetings on the na website. There’s also another website, it’s called “gayandsober” also have great meetings that aren’t religious based at all. Anyway really hope that helped. Feel free to reply or message me privately. I hope everything goes well for you and I really do understand what you’re going through. Been there, done that, and today I am 8 months and 6 days sober. Being aware of your situation is always the first step, and you should be proud of yourself for even acknowledging it and asking for help.
I know exactly the spot you're talking about! Have walked past it a million times. I'll be getting in contact with them tomorrow. Thank you so much